#2577 RHONY S15E01 Part One: Since U Brynn Gone
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Hello and welcome to Watch Our Crap Ends, a podcast about all that crap on Bravo that we just love to talk about. I'm Ben Mandelker and joining me today on the, I almost said the season two season premiere, but it's really season 15 season premiere of Real Housewives of New York. Mr. Ronnie Karam. Hi, Ronnie. How are you?

I think this should be actually, they should just change it back to season one and season two. It's not fair because then these people don't get considered the ODs of their show. No, but they're like the new era. We are here today to recap today, to recap it to those who may be new to the podcast because they listen to us on Jeff Lewis. Welcome. Thanks for having us on the show, Jeff. Always a pleasure for us to go on there.

Also, if you're new, and you may have learned this on Jeff's show, that Ronnie's house is under construction. So if you hear some hammering or some drilling, don't hold it against Ronnie. Like that? Okay, yes. You know what? This is real life. And so just pretend it's just the sound of Aaron Leachie being suspicious of something. Okay.

- Just pretend that we're doing this from the set of Mario Maker. 'Cause have you ever played that game? It's just people building things in Mario World. So the whole soundtrack to the game is like, ♪ Ting ting ting ting ting ♪ ♪ Tung tung tung ♪ ♪ Epi epi ♪ So it's that. And yeah, today I'm staying in a little apartment underneath the apartment. I make it sound so fancy. It's a little dumpy garage room, basically, that I'm staying in under the house.

And the room right above this is the recording studio. So that's what they're doing today. So it's noisy, but it's going to be for future. That'll be great. If that makes any sense. It's our future home. I'm so excited. I'm really excited for you. I really am. I think that's going to be really wonderful. I'm also excited because...

It's the season premiere of "Roni," as previously mentioned. So we have, now we have a year of the new cast under the belt. We have a new cast member, we have a new friend of, we have new petty squabbles, we have new veneers, we have new everything.

Isn't that exciting? Oh, we have an old trope storyline, though, used by somebody, which I love. Sy is coming in with the good old fashioned villain. I've been to therapy and now I'm totally different than last year. I really thought about all of my actions last year and I have vowed to do better. Girl, listen here, Sy.

Don't. Don't bother, okay? Embrace your villainy. Nobody wants to see you get better, okay? You can't possibly get worse. Actually, get worse. This is Housewives. I don't want to see a nice side. I want to see a campier, funner, more fun side. But I don't want to see, like, a nicer side. Who wants that? You're going to just be starving all the time but be nice to people? Get the fuck out of here with that. And also, don't believe it because it's going to last you about two weeks. It didn't last the whole episode. And by the way, I have to say...

I had a really weird reaction, which is that I kind of liked Psy in this episode. I was like, wait, what? Psy is like one of my least favorite housewives of all time, just because she's so meh. But then this episode, I was kind of like, yeah, I'm kind of enjoying Psy. And I think maybe a turning point for me is that I realized that when she says yeah, she actually sounds like she's meowing. At one point, someone was like, is that what you think? She goes...

I was like, oh, she's sort of like a kitty cat. That makes me like her a little bit more. That's all it took for you, huh? It's just that you're a cat person. Well, what I liked is she didn't talk about food. It's like her old standby thing. And that's...

I felt like the arguments or the point she was making, I was on the side of. And that's important on a housewife show, a show that's all about arguing. If you're on the right side of the argument, we're going to like you. And I think she was on the right side of the arguments. And I feel like last year she just had stupid arguments. She was mad about the dumbest things. Whereas this time, her arguments make sense. And also, it's an anti-Bryn argument.

Yeah, and it's an anti-Bryn year, which I like because she really deserves it. And I'm surprised it took so long for everybody to figure out that it's Bryn. It's been Bryn all along. What do you think about new cast member Raquel? Listen, you guys...

Bravo is not making lesbianism look fun. Let me tell you this. My best friends are lesbians, and they are fun people, okay? They're fun. They're fun lesbians. They do exist. Not on this show. I mean, not on Bravo. I mean, you've got Kyle Richards and now this chick. What does this chick do? She's riding motorcycles. Tamara Barney's already doing that. You've been out-lesbianed by Tamara Barney. Get the fuck out of here. I feel like... So I am a little concerned. Okay, so Raquel...

Seems truly like one of the coolest people that Bravo has ever cast. I mean, she's like works in the art world in a way that that feels real. Like it doesn't feel like someone's saying they work in art that like she works in art. She is like in this like power lesbian couple. They are on motorcycles. She's gorgeous. She's fashionable. She's chic. She's got her, her, her fiance is like, Hey, I'm Mel, which by the way, continues the, the,

the tradition on Bravo people, by the way, agreed with everything so far, which is like the tradition on Bravo is if your name is Mel or Mal, you speak like this. Hi, I'm Mel. Hi, I'm Mel. Um,

So they're like really chic and really cool. But then like every time Raquel opened her mouth, I was like, oh, you have nothing to offer to this show. Like you're actually too sophisticated. And like, this is not this. You shouldn't be on this show. Like this is you need to be at a school. You need to be on the episode of Beverly Hills when they went to Spain and sat with like the intelligentsia and like the architects. That's Raquel's show. This show. I don't understand what she's doing on here.

You know, I'm not a cool person. Everybody knows that. And I've never been a cool person. And I, you know, there were times when I was a kid where I was like, oh, God, I wish I was cool. And when I would dream of being cool, I would probably be exactly what you listed, which is what she is. I would be a lesbian, a because lesbians like there's no one cooler than a lesbian, I think.

And just fashionable and knows art and just is so smart and just like, ah, and just like, oh, Zempik, why would I? Like, I'm so thin naturally. That's like, why would I do that? You know, but also not dissing Zempik, but just like, I'm already so thin. I mean, just everything about her, like I dream of being, but God, I don't dream of watching it. You know what I mean?

You seem very nice. Now come sit in the audience with me and let's just talk about this.

There's always a movie where there is some sort of like chic, artsy lesbian who rides a motorcycle, but also is like well connected in the art world and it's fabulous. And you're like, wow. And I'm always like,

People always write this character, "This character does not exist." And it's like, "Oh no, Raquel exists!" And it's probably all based off of Raquel. You know, all these writers on all these shows have probably met Raquel at some very fancy party, chic party, and they're like, "That woman is amazing. I'm gonna work her into my script." And in fact, I actually sincerely believe the only reason why she's on this show is that casting directors met her and just want to be friends with her, and they're like, "We gotta add her to the show, so that way we could just, like, maybe siphon off some of her coolness onto us."

But like so far after one episode and of course, I'm very willing to change my opinion. I'm like, she's so cool that I don't see her like mixing it up with drama or anything like I don't see her role on this. But man, I wish I was as cool as her. Who knows? You know, sometimes you don't always have to be crazy dramatic. You can just be kind of moving the story along, being like the voice of reason or making a funny comment. She didn't do that much, but I was kind of fascinated with her. I just think she looks fascinating. I mean, her whole life is kind of fascinating. Her whole. Yeah.

you know, on the, on paper, she's fascinating. So we'll see, maybe it'll work out. The other one, the Scientologist chick, great casting. I don't care what anybody says. I know Scientology is evil and they're probably going to start chasing us and ruining our lives. The second we start tearing this person down, but guess what? She's great TV. She has that weird little squint and that like a better than you attitude. And she knows she's going to space heaven. Like that woman is positive that she's,

Yeah, she looks like a cartoon pickle with a squint, and she knows that she is going to Ron L. Hubbard heaven. She doesn't give a fuck what you think. You know what I mean? I was like, okay. First of all, I was really won over by the squint because I love a passive-aggressive squint. Every time Rebecca Minkoff squints her eyes, it says so many things.

She's basically saying like, you're trash. We both love this point. Honestly, I was won over by her. We will get to it. But when she was like, oh yeah, I've met Psy before. We know when mommy influencing was a big thing down in Brooklyn. I was like, oh, that was so dismissive. I was like,

- That hurts so bad. - It was just bad. - She was like, yeah, you know, I used to see her when she was doing the, when that was a thing, but you know, now, I passed a CC's Pizza once and she was coming out of it. I think I saw her there. That was, I was like, oh my God, she just kicked her in the gut. - She really did. Also, I think that she may actually have a Midwestern accent, which I also love, is that she might be like the Chicagoan maybe. I'm gonna look up to see where she's from originally. But yeah, I definitely was like, oh,

She's going to be evil. And I think that's, I feel like I'm really, the squint is really doing a lot for me. Aaron came back trying to be fun. So that was, Aaron's like, look at me. I'm fun, Aaron. And that lasted about five minutes too. I love a season two where everybody has taken notes from the first season and tried to fix it and they just can't do it. Now saying that, Joe has not really taken that many notes.

Let's be honest. But so far, we don't know. You know, I don't think it sucked. It was actually enjoyable. I found myself like, oh, I actually kind of missed the show and missed the people. And I'm interested to see what kind of this fucking construction. I swear to God, I was actually interested to see what was going on with everybody. Jenna has taken notes. I mean, my God, she's like a different person this year. Do you think? No, I think she's the same. She's still whispering through her interviews.

But I like Jenna, so I'm happy with that. I do, I have to say, I felt like... Well, she's like so fun now. She's like, look at me, I wear dresses and I don't wear my glasses all the time. And I wear pink now. I'm like, who are you? Like, what did love do to you, honestly? And I mean, I think I like it. Like, she was mixing with the girls and laughing and having fun and confronting somebody about being mean to her. I was like, this is not you. And we were led to believe that Jenna was just going to be a big dud this season because she refused to put her real life on the show. But

I like it. She's like, look, I wear pink now. She was like, look, you're not my new personality. I don't get to see my girlfriend, but you get to see her mom. And I'm like, that's better. Yeah, that's better. I'm down for this lady. I'm down for like Ruth Buzzy sitting in the chair. I'd be like, I got to meet a gay man. So, you know, I thought. And honestly, they're one of those mother daughter couples because I've seen the girlfriend in interview, not interviews, but pictures and stuff. And I will say that that is one where you're like, oh, my God, are you sisters?

But it's not necessarily derogatory or complimentary. You know what I mean? It's like your mom could be your sister. You guys look the same to me. Same types. I could imagine the girlfriend sitting in the closet being like, I love those shoes. I love them.

By the way, Rebecca Minkoff was born in San Diego. So I don't know where I was picking up a Midwestern accent. Maybe I just like wanted it to be there. Like just to match the, like, I just wanted like a cheery Midwestern accent to match the squint, to make the squint that much more devastating. To know it was like spoken with a cheery accent, but with like caustic, nasty New York intentions. But...

It's even better. It's New York nastiness with California. That's true. Because that's a dangerous mix because New York's a place where everybody tells it like it is in California. We learned to fake it. Yeah.

still be, still be C wordy to each other, but in almost a Southern, more sophisticated Southern way. So it's good. It's an interesting mix. Whenever you see an LA person really thriving in New York. Um, I think that like, um, I enjoyed this first episode. It felt a little long, but it was, you know, it was a supersized episode too, but, um, hello, LOL. We say as we're entering like 30 minutes on our intro, but we are talking about Bravo. So it's okay. Um,

I did feel like, you know, it was miles ahead of the first episode of last season, I thought. Last season, it was clear these people did not know each other and they were trying to make some sort of chemistry happen. At this point, it does feel like a friend group. Like, I do believe they've been hanging out sort of off camera. And I think that what's landing a little bit more for me is like...

how chic and sophisticated these women at least are presenting themselves to be. Like, I think that's what, like, we were told that last season. Like, look at how chic they are. They're just chic women. I was like, okay, I got it. But now I'm like, I'm feeling it a little bit more, which I kind of like. They look great. It is still a little, like...

Aaron is still just not a very compelling person to me to watch on TV. Like, she just sort of honks her way through her scenes. It's like, really? You're going to talk about mushrooms? Really, Abe? The way that the editor has just called her out immediately. I was like, oh, so I guess Aaron's not nice to production, you know?

I have a feeling Erin's had some moments with production where she's like, no one, literally no one in my life has ever been this mean to me. Literally no one. Yeah, she probably did that. She loves pulling that move. Literally no one in my entire life has ever rolled a flashback on me like that before. It's ridiculous.

Okay. A hundred percent. And then Bryn's whole shtick is like kind of old, but I'm really glad that the producers, I mean, that the cast is just going to pop her. I think that's so funny that they're like sick of her bullshit. They're like, you're not getting away with that fucking baby voice over here. Get the fuck out. Yeah. I'm surprised. I'm surprised. I'm surprised that I'm actually on Aaron's side in her little dust up with Bryn. So, you know, who knows? Who knows? But I mean, you know, Aaron,

Erin's not wrong a lot. The thing with Erin is not that she's wrong. It's that she harps on the same thing over and over. She goes to the Eileen Davidson School of Housewifery where she's just like, are you going to apologize? Remember that time you said that thing? Well, I think you owe me an apology. It really hurt my feelings. I'm not going to do this. I'm not going to do this. Seriously, cheese? You said that? Cheese? Seriously? Cheese? Cheese?

Yeah. But overall, you know, like, I was happy. I was happy with the premiere. I wasn't like, oh, this season. I was the seasons in the pits. I was happy. And I know that I have. That's good. It's a good place to start. You know, like, I know I have a record of talking about how miserable the first season

season of this cast was, and I still stand behind that. But I think that, you know, we're gonna move, I think, I feel like it's moving in the right direction. And I'm coming in in a non-hatery place. That's what I want the audience to know. It's a safe place. I am, I was, I was happy. I was happy.

Listen, we're pulling aside. We're going to come into our second season. We've been to therapy. And we're going to just... I'm going to meow like a cat. And we're going to move on. Okay, so let's... We're going to move on. Let's dive in. Yeah, so let's see. The girls are getting their makeup done. And we start in a way we've never opened a Housewives show before. Dun, dun, dun, dun. Dun, dun, dun, dun. Five days after filming...

We're shooting the intros. And there is an angry gay. And he's like, we're on set schedule. So I'm just trying to stay on top of it, ladies. So I'm like, oh, wow, you've made the gay angry. So something's really going on with these women right now. No, and it's like the first thing in the morning, too. It's like, do not make me angry morning gay. And it was like, I know I don't need this today. Please. Do you know what I have to deal with this week? Do you know? And so we start with peak drama of Uba.

of Uwe being a drama queen in a makeup chair. And then we see a flashback of Uwe yelling, rewind the tape, rewind the fucking tape. She said it, she said it. Brandon Brin saying, she's a six foot fucking toddler.

And it was like, bitch. So then we come back and Aaron's getting her makeup done with Jessel. And Aaron's like, we need to stand up for what's right. Cackling hags. And Cy's like, yeah, I feel like you and I have been like kind of been in the middle of this. And like, we're really close with Yuba. And like, we're really going to be close. We're both really close with Brynn. So we're just like stuck in the middle of these two women.

Um, and this was Jessel, I think she was talking to. I think so. And then Uba's like, uh. I think so. And then Uba's. But I just read it as a sigh by accident. No, no, it was a sigh, but I think it was just a mistake. So then we see a flashback and Uba's like, if you guys believe her, I quit then. And then we cut back to Aaron and she's like.

Honestly, oh no, it's still the flashback. Aaron's like, honestly, not cool. Not cool. What's not cool, Aaron? What you're doing. It's not cool.

cackling hags. If we get to the end of this season and it turns out that like Uba did not finish her shakshuka, then I'm like, I'm not going to, I'm not going to be down with this. I can't believe I left it. Well, they kind of show at the end of the episode, more of this fight. And it does seem like a huge, nothing. I'm sure it doesn't make nothing. I mean, the last, their last fight when they were abroad was a big, nothing about hiding Uba's phone. I mean, did we talk about it on end for like five hours? Yes, but it was a big, nothing burger. Yeah.

So, um, Aaron's like, I don't even know how we're going to be in the same room today. Uh, because they are filming their opening credits, which by the way, I was, I was surprised to see that they were all coming together to film that opening credits. I just assumed they were all, they all filmed it individually and they were composited together on screen. So I was surprised. Yeah.

There you go. It's like going to Universal Studios. A little insight into my experience, my life experience. Oh my god, it's the Psycho House! Jaws just comes out of the water. So, yeah, they're just big, huge drama with Uber and

And Brynn. And Jenna's like, what the fuck is happening in the flashback? And Aaron's like, what just went down was insane. And Sia's like, it was shocking. It was shocking. It's like chips without salsa. Who does that? And Raquel's like, I don't know. I just don't know how this gets repaired.

And then the producer's like, everybody, goddammit, I'm upset, we need to do our thing. And so it's time to take a picture. I can see the back of my head, because there's one thing that I'm known for is my head.

I thought it was so funny that they cut back and forth to everybody going, this is so dramatic. Oh my God, we're all going to die. Oh my God, someone got murdered. How's the world ever going to be the same? To Brynn like, I need a hair tie. So I was like, where do we go from here? It's time for a commercial. It's time for a Crappin's commercial.

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crystal blue water escape that will leave you feeling Giovanni, baby. So save yourself the stress and headache of planning a vacation and instead book a rejuvenating trip at Aruba.com. Hey, I'm Ryan Reynolds. Recently, I asked Mint Mobile's legal team if big wireless companies are allowed to raise prices due to inflation. They said yes. And then when I asked if raising prices technically violates those onerous two-year contracts, they said, what the f*** are you talking about, you insane Hollywood a**hole?

So to recap, we're cutting the price of Mint Unlimited from $30 a month to just $15 a month. Give it a try at mintmobile.com slash switch. $45 upfront payment equivalent to $15 per month. New customers on first three month plan only. Taxes and fees extra. Speeds lower above 40 gigabytes in detail. So that's like we're rolling, guys. Three, two, one. Jenna, do that thing where you throw the apple in the air because you're casual and cool. Yeah, yeah, Jenna. All right. So now we have our opening credits.

and we have our lines right off the jump for this season, considering that we're only getting to the lines on Salt Lake City this week. So we have Bryn who says, oh, we did actually a whole episode on this. Well, we already did these. Yeah, so we did these. These are in, we did probably 45 minutes already talking about these lines. You can go listen to it. It came out last week. It's the Countess Luann interview. The second half of that episode is all these lines, a deep dive. The one episode

That still just makes me crazy is why need their dad when you can just be mother? You don't get to call yourself mother. Who does that? I agree. Oh my God, Ben. I'm fitting in this shirt today. I am mother. No, you don't get to do that. That title is bestowed upon you. Don't just give yourself awards. Well, now we go to 463 Mother Street because we're at Brynn's new apartment and the delivery guys are there and they are

I feel like you probably relate to this very intensely, Ronnie. They are trying to figure out a way to not deliver furniture up Bryn's staircase. And so, dude, it's literally my eighth day trying to get a washer and dryer delivered. The eighth time. They won't do it. They come, they find a reason not to do it because they don't want to come up the fucking driveway. It's a steep driveway. I get it.

it. But you deliver this shit every day. LA is full of hills. How do you not do this? And I don't know if they're expecting me to pull out a bag of money. I'm like, I'm not pulling out a bag of money to pay Home Depot workers to bring the washer up. That's your job. Bring it up. Bring it up. And they don't care because I'm not cute. Brynn can get away with it because she's cute. I'm just some old queen in flip-flops screaming at you. You just need a Bravo fan to be one of the delivery people, then you'll be set.

So Brynn is like So the delivery guy comes in and she's like So the PCF down there it's actually like Smaller than this sofa and like That got up the stairs so I promise it's Gonna work look if you don't want to come up the flight Upstairs then just like tell me that Here's some nudes

Yeah, and she's really doing the whole, like, oh, my God, at this point, I'd do anything for a delivery. Come on. I mean, it's just five flights of stairs. And he's like, well, you know, the thing is, it's dimensions. She's like, uh-huh. Well, I mean, you guys could do that in 15 minutes. You can't do this one. Men really can't last long, can they? What?

I have a new apartment. I left the West Village and I migrated north to Gramercy Park. I needed a bigger space because I'm expanding my family. I've had a baby. It's a puppy. And for someone who gets super upset at being called a sugar baby later in the episode, she has named her dog Sugar. Ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha ha.

This woman literally has zero self-awareness and it's hilarious. Let me tell you what she does have. An adorable fucking apartment. Oh my God. Oh my God. Did she design this apartment herself? Like all the wallpaper and all the- Yes, don't you remember? It is so cute. She explains what her design aesthetic is very shortly.

But yes, it balls. By the way, I just did that. Wait till you come over. No, it is gorgeous. I did it before I saw this. It is gorgeous. And her dog is adorable. I would also like to say, and everyone knows I don't co-sign off of every single dog I see.

But she did probably name the dog Sugar so that way she could be like, guys, I'm like his sugar mama. I'm like literally the sugar mama. But now she's stumbled into a storyline where she has to be upset about it. There's only one sugar baby in this household. It's Sugar, who's a baby. I'm low carb, except for when it comes to sugar.

It's like, okay. So Brynn, so the guys leave and she tells us, moving in New York City is actual hell. I'm like, if she means physically moving, I also agree with that because trying to get from point A to point B in New York City is a nightmare. So even having, with furniture or no furniture, maneuvering around the city is impossible. Yeah. Moving in the city, not cute. Not cute.

And let's see. So did she get the furniture? Like, I need to know the ending to this. You can't just be like, oh, are we rescheduling? Like, do I have to stay online for an hour and a half with fucking customer service to try and reschedule? Like, what is happening here? Do I get a survey at the end of the call? Please, please give me a survey at the end of the call. And then we see like a little montage of Brynn receiving furniture deliveries because she's getting them all at different times. I mean, it literally looks like a nightmare. My heart goes out to her for this.

and at one point like a guy comes in with a piece of furniture and she goes oh is this and he gives her like a piece of paper to sign off to say that she got it oh is this the marriage license I was like

She's so great. Literally every single line she has. It's so fun. She's such a sitcom. She is. Oh, my God. It's like moving such a bitch. It's just like all these weird men coming in and judging all of your shit. I mean, guess what? It's thongs. 16 boxes of thongs. Thongs, thongs, thongs. So then Darius, her brother, comes on over.

And, you know, he's been living in Seoul, but he's going to stay for a month. And so they sit down and Prince is like, Naras is visiting because I need help. It's really hard being a single dog mom. And he's like, so what?

What do we have planned? Are we going to be doing anything? Are we going to be walking around Central Park again? And she's like, well, I want to get everyone together because I've been gone so much. And just let go. Let's go to a cool bar and invite your partner, your boyfriend, your girlfriend, your dog trainer, your hot delivering guy who just proposed marriage to you.

You can bring whoever you want to my party, but I can guarantee you this much. I'm flirting the fuck out of every single one of them. So he's like, is everything cool? Cause like, I'm cool with everybody. She goes, yeah, I'm cool with everybody. But like, I really want you back to New York city guys. I really want my brother back. I like literally hit his passport last time. And my vagina. Yeah.

So then, um, Bryn, so Bryn is like, yeah, by the way, like this room, like I know you're my brother, so you don't want to hear this, but the inspiration for the living room was balls in your face. And then we see that there's like little kind of different balls everywhere from lamps to pillows to whatever. It looks great. It looks great. But of course Bryn's like balls in your face.

It reminded me of, what was that? Oh, Vicky's grandchildren. Or Peggy, what's her face? Orange County has a sacred tradition of balls.

Okay, so next up is Jessel and Pavit waiting for a subway, which is horrifying. My God, what, are you going to take her to a Ross Dress for Less next? Jesus. She's definitely uncomfortable with this. She's like, I definitely don't look like I belong here. You made me dress like this? You said we were going somewhere nice. I should have known never to trust the chairman of the board of the Chicken Society of New York City.

And she's like, we're going to Chinatown. It's really a good spot, huh? She's like, do I dress up? This isn't a flashback. And we see him, because he's like a food influencer now, so we see him like delicately cutting up chicken nuggets. I know, that was... And this is how you cut up chicken nuggets for children. Why should children eat less classy chicken nuggets than the rest of us? Here is how we do it. That was so extra.

So, then they're getting on the subway and she goes, oh my god, the subway. So I'm not familiar with the, is it called the MTA? Or as I like to call it, the PSV, the Povet Stupid Vehicle?

So they sit in the corner of the train and she's just looking around like it's so disgusting. And she just goes, hello to nobody. And he's like, don't do that. Just why? He goes, yeah, you just don't do that on the train. Yeah.

Yeah, before today, I think I've taken the subway a grand total of two times, which is as many times as I've been able to tolerate Povit doing something ridiculous in our apartment. And the producer was like, well, how much do you spend on Uber per month? She goes, oh gosh, last month, $990. That's a lot of money, although not as much money as Povit has spent on Bon Me apparently.

I have to say, I don't think that that's that much money for an Uber. I was impressed. I mean, I think for like a super Uber rich, well, no pun, but I think for a super rich person, they'd have a driver. You know what I mean? Get over yourself. You're on Uber's, Jessel. Okay? Calm down over there, Jessel. So she's like, oh, God, remember when I used to come to Chinatown to buy fake bags all the time? Yeah.

And he's like, "Yeah, you can still do that." She goes, "Yeah, I got my Dior-es and my Prados. Hilarious." So they show up someplace called Carol's Moon, and they're like, "Carol's Bun?" And Jessel's like, "But you said it was a nice place." And it's just like, it's a true hole in the wall, and there's like a pigeon roosting over the doorway. And the cameramen keep on showing that, they just keep focusing on the pigeon. And Jessel is horrified.

They've got big pigeon energy this year on Real Housewives of New York. They're going to make the pigeons attacking Jessel like a thing this year. Yes, it's a thematic time of the season. Like David Lynch. Yes. So he's like, oh, could you get a picture of me, like a video of me walking into the restaurant? Influence! She's like, all right, Parvit. You know, Parvit has always been obsessed with food, but this whole Vietnam fiasco has really inspired him to become a food influencer. Weird. And then we...

We go to like Instagram videos of Pavit with his food where he's like, "Hi, this is a banh mi sandwich. I really like banh mi. I like the bread and I like the meat. Mmm, delicious." - He's like, "I married a banker and now I'm with a food influencer all of the sudden."

And so she's recording him order his food totally naturally. He's like, I would like one of Carol's buns. That would be delicious. Carol, please put your buns away. Disgusting. So she's like, the way he looks at a piece of fried chicken, I don't think he's ever looked at me like that. I have thighs. I have breasts.

I could be coated in flour if he wants me to. I could be battered. I could be stuck in salting hot oils, which is what I'd like to be after watching him scoff down that bon meat Carol's boon. I can be pounded. All right, we're going into chicken piccata territory, but still. So then they're sitting at this rickety table outside and everything, and she's just like...

She's disgusted by this whole process. And she's like, oh, jeez. Oh, you spilled on your white pants. And he's like, oh, yeah, well, I'm really bummed that they don't have chicken feet. She's like, disgusting. Why am I married to this man? She's like, oh, my God. I put my mouth against this man's mouth. You know, she just has that look on her face. Like, why? Why? She's like, okay, well, I want to start planning stuff because we're shooting again and it's time to start talking about babies. That's what you do on Housewives of Parvatt. He's like, babies? Oh.

I'll tell you what I love. Baby sliders. Little, they're like hamburgers, but they're little. You eat them with ketchup or mustard, occasionally a pickle. They're delicious. Puppet, I'm speaking right now. Okay, Puppet, you have to start making more of an effort. I didn't even get a Valentine's Day card from you. Remember? I got you a massage. I didn't even get a card. I just got a sloppy piece of toast with avocado on top, and you said this is from the best...

Avocado toast plays in all of Chelsea. You think I care about that? I don't care about that. I want a card. I want something from Hallmark. Or papyrus, Povet. Papyrus! It's like the gift of giving stopped when we had the babies. I'm not asking for much, but I would like to sleep till 9.30, and I would like to be told, go enjoy a spa day or watch the kids. And I would like to be told, please stop speaking to me and calling me mother. I'm solely here to be your nanny.

I mean, this is little things that I'm asking from the world. I don't ask for much. All I want is for Parvath to go off to Vietnam and be abducted by some tribe of criminals, and then I never have to see his face again, and I can hire someone to educate my children, and I can just live the life I finally want to live. That's all. I don't ask for much. So I got an invoice from Dr. Wong. We're paying a lot of money for embryos to be stored in Beverly Hills. I could take five months of Ubers for the rent we're paying for those babies. Okay.

And he's like, he's like not listening because he's just scarfing down all his food. And she is, we see a flashback about that. He's like watching. He's like watching to see how many hearts are appearing on his entrance to Carol's buns video. He's like, he's like, I found that I found in a hot new place. Hold on. He's like watching Yelp to see if other people are now starting to come to Carol's buns. So then boons, I really, really is supposed to be boons, not buns. So, um,

Oh, I didn't know that. So, you know, Nini from Top Chef, our favorite. Yes. She has a new cookbook out and I almost bought it the other day and I was leaping through it. And I don't know why I didn't buy it, but I didn't buy it. And I feel I have FOMO. I should I should bought it. And she has a whole thing on there for boons. And she has a big thing in parentheticals that says pronounced boon.

Not bun. Unless I misread it, in which case now I'm being, now I'm the, now I'm the asshole, but apparently it's boon. Oh, I thought there were buns. Who knew? So now I do. This is education. It's buns if it's talking about like rolls, but Vietnamese dishes. Now who's the pov-it, huh? I just showed pov-it. It's pov-it. Yeah.

So they talk about their IVF stuff. She wants a girl. He doesn't want a kid. You know, it's kind of the same stuff from last year. And she's like, but Povet, what if we have the next Beyonce? Or what if we have the next Elon Musk in that freezer? And then you're like, bye, Beyonce. That sucks. And he's like, OK, well, I'm OK with saying bye to Beyonce, but Elon Musk, I'll take. Are you serious? Ew. I think he was joking. I hope he was joking.

Although... Well, I think because his point was that he wants a girl and not a boy. So I'm hoping that's all we're going because your boy is going to be making very extremely dangerous trucks that make no sense that cut people for no reason. Yeah. Although Povit is definitely someone who I would expect to get a Cybertruck. That's...

Think about that, everyone. Just think about it. It's horrifying. Think deeply about that. So then we go. Oh, no, I was just going to complain about Cybertrucks. But there's you know, what else really needs to be said? They suck. Yeah, I think we've said enough. Here comes one right now.

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So then we go to Aaron walking into a store, or a restaurant, and Uba comes in. And this guy's like, "Oh, let me get out of your way." And she goes, "Oh, you can be my date! I'm single! Single Uba!" "Not single anymore, sorry. My storyline has changed, ladies." He's like, "Well, I'd love to, but my fiancée wouldn't like it." She goes, "It's okay, I'm Muslim, you can have four of us!" He's like, "Is she being serious? Did I just get hit on by a supermodel?"

I also love that Aaron walked into a place called Lulla. Because Lulla spelled L-U-L-L-A. There really could not be a better restaurant to describe Aaron. Lull. A lull. Just like Lulla. Just give it more of a lull.

So she goes in and they're like complimenting each other and they just love each other now, you guys. It's crazy. And Aaron's like, Uba and I are like peanut butter and jelly. I love her. I literally talk to her more than my sister. Hold on, wait for it. That was me being fun and effervescent. Well, yeah, but to be fair, who really wants to speak to Aaron's sister? I remember her from last season and she was awful. So...

Are you guys talking during the ceremony? Seriously? That was so funny. Aaron's like sponsored wedding ceremony. You are being so rude talking during the ceremony. Yeah, I really talked to her more than my sister. Yeah. And it was like, yes, my friendship with Aaron is like a beautiful roller coaster, you know?

We got over all our issues and we are just inseparable. So she's talking about they're hungry and everything. And then Anne walks back to Minkoff and she's like, hi, how are you guys? He's like, cute. Aaron's like, Becky Minkoff. I call her Becky. We're close. Becky Minkoff.

We knew Gwen. We both knew Gwen. But, you know, she's a friend, but she's also a major fashion designer. She's awesome. She's such a sweetheart. And Rebecca's like, I've heard so many great things about you. Oh, yes. I was talking to the menu, actually. Am I supposed to be having lunch with these two? Okay.

Oh, I know your name like Coca-Cola. No, my name's Rebecca, not Coca-Cola. No, it's metaphor. I know your name like Coca-Cola. No, but I'm not anything like Coca-Cola. No, yes, but I'm saying, I'm just saying I'm happy to meet you, but you know I'm not Coca-Cola, right? Like I'm Rebecca Minkoff. Or Becky, if you're lucky enough to know me that way, like Aaron. Yeah.

do you think Rebecca knows that uh Aaron calls her back I don't think anyone calls her Becky except for Aaron Aaron is also sort of person if she was friends with Nicholas Cage she'd be like oh Nick Cage and I go way back yeah oh Nick or as I call him nine you know I actually know him a little bit better than than you so I just call him and

Yeah, I just took off a couple of letters. Intimating closeness. So, yeah, she's like, oh my God, you're like Coca-Cola. She's like, you're like...

What's that stuff that's not really Coke, but they sell it in the Dollar Tree stores? I've heard about it. Oh, thanks. So she's like, so let's order some stuff. The waitress is like, happy Tuesday, ladies. Thanks, sunshine. So Aaron's like, hold on. Personality alert. I'll have a mezcal espresso martini. I'll wait for you guys to digest that.

Rebecca's like, "Yeah, can I have your largest Americano black, please? And not a Coca-Cola, 'cause that's not who I am." And Uba's like, "Oh, not that decaf!" So then Rebecca's like, "So, did you do berries this morning?" And everyone's like, "No, but I didn't work out." I'm like, "Wow, their conversation's off to a scintillating start."

And then Ruba says that she didn't do her Central Park walk this morning, and that's usually her only exercise. And Rebecca's like, that's your only exercise? Really? And Aaron's like, oh my God, do you believe it? Like, her body's like perfect, right, Bex? Wow, that's like really amazing.

And Aaron's like, I knew you guys would love each other. And it was like, yes, thank you. But it's like, oh, yeah, she's like such a good matchmaker. It's like, yeah, she does for husbands, too. Yeah, I have like set up so many of my friends. God, we're having such a compelling scene right now. I just feel like I can already feel People magazine calling to put the three of us on the cover. Oh, yeah.

it's amazing because you know i've felt a lot of things in my life but i think this is the first time i've actually felt deeply inside the sound of a channel changing is that weird

And so they're like, so did you set Uba up with her guy? I mean, Uba's life has changed. You know, she finally got the ultimate. A man. That's the only thing anybody ever cares about. A man to complete you. And Aaron's like, no, but I wish. Because, like, that one's, like, the perfect one. And Rebecca's like, show me him. I want to see. I want to see how hot he is. And she goes, oh, well, it's not really just about his hotness. It's just, like, his whole vibe. I was like, is he hot? Who says that? Yeah.

It's his whole energy. So it was like, this is my man. And so she's like, oh, oh gosh. Like, well, oh, and he's, he's tall too. It's like a, a very tall, ugly person, but you know, it's amazing what tall can cancel out usually, but in this case, it doesn't really cancel out much. So, um, you know, he must have a great personality. I'm so excited for you.

You know what's weird? Taller people are even uglier from below, but they still get more tail. I'll never really understand it. But hey, I don't really understand how toothpaste is made either, but I use it. So. Uba's like, I literally won the jackpot. You won the jackpot and you didn't even tell us? No, it's metaphor, Aaron. Literally, you're lying to me now about the jackpot? No, Aaron, it's just I'm saying I like my man. So did you win a jackpot or did you not win a jackpot? Are you buying this lunch?

I want to know. Aaron's like, it's amazing watching her and her jackpot together. Like, he can't keep his hands off of you. She goes, how can you not put this ass? I was like, okay, this scene needed to end five minutes ago.

Please just cut this scene and let's just follow Uba down-- I mean, follow Rebecca down the street and watch whatever crazy shit she gets into with her cleared ass. Please. So Uba's talking about how she never really wanted kids, she just wants-- she's been spoiled in her life. She likes to-- you know, she likes her sleep, she likes to go to Paris for dessert. But now when she's with Oliver, you know what, like, you know, now she's sort of like, "Yeah, let's do it, it just feels right." So Uba is basically-- they're just still talking.

And I like how she thinks, because this is so hot people. This is totally how they think.

I thought, you're good looking. I'm good looking. Let's see what we can produce. Never a better reason to have a baby. You know, we're both hot. Let's see what happens. If it's ugly, we'll just toss it in the river. Like, who cares? Angelina was literally formed on that basis. It's like, we're two of the hottest people in the world. We owe it to humanity. But theirs was nicer because they're like, we're really hot. Let's adopt all.

less hot people because literally anybody we adopt is naturally going to be less hot than us and it's our way of giving yeah but let's also have like i don't like they're so hot they didn't even want to be around similar hotness they wanted to get like other hotness so they could truly care for it so um

So anyway, after all this... That's so rude. Their kids are all gorgeous, by the way. So after all this yapping, finally we get into the... Finally it starts to get messy. So Aaron's like, by the way, Brynn is having a party at Fleur. Are you going to be able to come to Fleur? And Uba's like, oh yes, but I'm going to be a bit late. Ha ha ha.

what there's just the names of restaurants like with aaron's personality is so funny like lola are you gonna go to flora so uh yeah now they're talking about this party and it was like yes but i'm gonna be late because i have dinner with my jet bot i won i have a man

Becky. Come with me on my date. Becky. Who is Becky? She actually, notice that she called her Rebecca in this part. That's why I'm wondering, like, does she ever call her Becky to her face? Or is that something she's just doing us behind her back to make us think they're really close? Honestly, I feel like Beyonce stole from me because I kind of started Becky and then she took it from me. So that's how I feel about that. Becky with a good squint. That's what we call her.

- Flir. - So then they're like, "Who's coming?" Like Jenna, Rebecca's like, "Know her." And they're like, "Sai." And she goes, "Oh, love Sai." This is where she says, "Yeah, love Sai. We used to live in Dumbo." And that was like when mommy entrepreneurs were like trending and I would see her at like everything. So that was something. Haven't seen her in a while. Dumbo's over.

and influencing is over. That's good. They haven't thrown her in a meat grinder yet. So good for her. Yeah. Sometimes the way I like, sometimes I forget her name. So I just call her Dumbo. It just seems to work. So if you see her, just call her Dumbo from now on. Erin's like, well, there's Brynn. Oh yeah, because Rebecca's like, and who is Brynn? And she's like, oh, Brynn. In our friend group, she's like really bubbly and really fun. Like me. I don't know.

It was like, when did you last see Brynn? And she's like, I haven't seen Brynn for a while. And Rebecca's like, do I not want to come to this? Is Dumbo going to be there? You know, get it, Dumbo. So then Aaron's like, you know, in this friend group, we all hang out, but then we splinter off. And then in the private groups, things are talked about from the big group. And then that's when things become a problem. In the private group is when you talk shit and

And you're, and you embellish. And then you get called out about it when the big group gets back together, actually. That's the real, that's the real tea on that situation. Truth. Yes, truth. So then we go to Brynn and she's going to blue dot. And she's like, I need a kitchen table. Why did you say blue dot in Uba voice?

I don't know. I think because it was just Uwe leading us in. Okay, we're done with this scene now. Going back to Jackpot. Let's go to Bryn in Blue Dot. So Jessel joins and she's like, I would hope that Bryn brought me along to furniture shop because she thinks I have good taste.

And then Brynn's like, Jessel's taste, it exists. It's like hers. But Jessel's not here for her taste. She's here for her honesty. And then Jenna, I actually respect her taste. So I'm like,

Jessel's apartment, while austere and lacking emotion, is quite nice. And again, Jessel was the only one who had heavy hitters from Vogue show up at her party that she had last season. So the fact that they keep on dissing Jessel, like she's a wannabe, when she has the lady who wears clown makeup and that's supposed to be cool showing up in her living room, I don't know. It just does not add up to me. For her. They were like, Linda Gilliguddy, oh my god, she's here. Yeah.

Yeah, everybody's like, oh my god, she's for real. That was when everybody said, oh my god, Jessel's like a real... She's like, she deserves to be on this show. McGillicuddy. This is so funny. I don't remember that. So then Brynn's like, let's sit on this couch, because I bought this one. It's basically like the black version of my couch. Sit on it, guys. Do you guys want balls in your face? Oh my god. Hi, I'm Jenna. I'm in this scene, and

I just realized something. Wait, what Jenna? Jenna, you have to speak up. I have BO, sorry for yelling. Oh my God, you have BO? I want to smell it, are you sure it's not the dog? Oh my God, it is a little stinky. It's like real balls in my face.

Oh my god, finding out that she has BL is like finding out that God shits. Just give it a few moments to let that breathe a little bit.

So, Brynn's like, "Okay, so funny story. I was just approached at Soho Beach House in Miami two weeks ago, and someone's like, 'Oh my gosh, Brynn, so nice to meet you,' and then she points to her daughter and she's like, 'This girl, she's put up with so much.' Erin and Jeff Lewis called her a call girl." "Uh-huh, can you believe it?" When she told the story, I thought she was saying that the lady in South Beach

was saying that Aaron and Jeff Lewis called this lady's daughter a call girl. I was like, well, that's random. I'm like, why are you... But also believable. Jeff was like, I saw this girl. She must have been a call girl. She was a call girl, right? Yeah, absolutely. So, I don't believe this. I believe that she listened to that episode. Yeah, this is such a weird... She needed someone to come tell her. Okay, if you're at Soho Beach House, Miami, which is like fancy, and it's like...

You know, it's like a club, you have to get in and all that. And like, you're going to walk up to someone like it's so if this is a true story, whoever did this is not supposed to walk up to people. You're not supposed to go walk up to the celebrities. But also how messy is this? You walk up to someone you've seen on TV and then you turn to your daughter and be like, guess what? Jeff Lewis has been calling her a call girl. Like what? Who does that? Yeah.

Messy fucking Bravo audience members, of course. But I don't believe it. I think that she watched it. And also, yeah, you're not supposed to talk to people there. Remember that time I took a picture? I tried to take a picture there. They were like, poor person! Put down the phone. We'll burn that old baby right on your body. I was like, okay, sorry. But it's Cynthia making out with Shahil. So anyway, um...

Yeah. So I wasn't really taking pictures of Cynthia. I was trying to take a picture of us, but it didn't work. So anyway, yeah, I think she watched it because Brennan is very sensitive and way too involved in what commentators are saying. We saw her last year get really pissed off at.

the commentators on the show, like literally going to war with them online on Instagram and stuff like that over silly comments. And she still seems to be that sensitive. You can't do that on the show. You just can't be like, you're not going to survive long on this. So we go to a flashback of the Jeff Lewis show and

Basically, there was a question, I think Jeff asked it, that was like, where does Brynn get her money? Is someone giving it to her? And Aaron says, I don't think so. And then Jeff is like, I don't know, maybe. Basically, Jeff is the one who's like, he says, I think there's an arrangement.

So... No, he doesn't, actually. Which I thought was really interesting. Both of the people she's mad at are innocent. So he's like, so where does she get... I mean, he was kind of hinting at it, right? But he's like, so where do you think she gets her money? She says, I don't know. And he's like...

Really? You don't know? Because she's getting it from somewhere. And she's like, I do not know. I don't think she gets it from anybody. He said, you don't think she gets it from anybody. She says, no, I don't think she gets it from anybody. And Jeff says, I do. Which, I mean, is kind of... And then he said, doesn't he say, I think there's an arrangement? But then Doug says, no, Doug, who's the nicest person to ever be born onto the planet, Doug, goes...

You mean like an arrangement? Oh. They said yes. So I thought it was funny that she's mad at Jeff and her. I mean, Doug was just trying to guess what Jeff was hinting at. Either way, I would say... It's like, you should be mad at Doug. Like, I would start... Just start a war with Doug, like the nicest person on the planet. I would love to see Brynn like, fuck you, Doug! And get all indignant to like the nicest guy. I wouldn't be mad at anyone. But anyway, Aaron didn't say... So this is why I don't think that Brynn watched this, because...

And there's, if you watched it, there was nothing to be angry about. And in Aaron's defense, the only one who was unequivocally saying that Brynn did not get her money from anyone was Aaron. So Aaron was the most on her side. But I think honestly, all three, I think it's such a, it's such a nothing to be upset about. And on top of that, if like, you know where you, where you get your money from, et cetera, like,

You, this doesn't bother you. And the fact that she's getting mad at about this point is elevating this clip and elevating the notion that she's a call girl. I don't think anyone thought she was a call girl. Well, yes, a lot of people. Okay. So maybe, maybe to something that like would never have any life, I should say.

First of all, Erin is kind of going like, I don't know. You know, she is kind of like, you know, come on. But it's a shady show. They're being shady about it. And Brynn's whole thing is like, oh, my God, make me mad. I'll date your dad. I'm going to find a guy. I hope he's rich. I'm going to date billionaires. I'm learning how to play chess to, you know, be with billionaires. I was just in the Soho house. I mean, her whole thing is like giving off this aura of like only wanting rich men.

And it doesn't mean that you're a bad person. And as the rest of the cast discusses later, if that's your thing, go for it. And it doesn't mean that she's a call girl and it doesn't mean she's a sugar baby. But when you come out with that kind of cartoonish personality on purpose, you can't get pissed off when people are like, oh my God, that girl's all about

rich men. You're literally saying on the show over and over, you're all about rich men. Like, why does it become so offensive when other people say that? Yeah, exactly. I don't know. She's silly. And also, I do believe she watched it because Brynn's a liar. We see multiple times on this show, especially today, how she takes one little thing and she twists it around. So she could have heard that and been like, you're basically on there saying that

Now, she could have said, he's being shady about me being a call girl, and you're acting like, ooh, all coy, like it could be true, and that wasn't cool. But instead, she's like, you guys called me a call girl, which, you know, she takes little things and she twists them. So I don't know if I would call that outright lying or just Paul Bunyan-ing shit, but...

Yeah, she's this girl's trap. I feel like she was looking. I just look between Bryn and Aaron. They both are really slippery with the truth. They like they remember things incorrectly. They tell it back incorrectly. So when the two of them get into a fight about this stuff, it's ridiculous. But I think ultimately Bryn came into the season wanting to have some sort of like beef or something like that. And so this is what she latched on to. But I just don't think it's it's a failing case, I think, on her front.

Well, if we remember last year what happened, this is exactly how the season started last year. And I think that's why I'm saying they kind of don't learn their lesson. It's like, this is how you do housewives. Okay, I'm going to start fights with people at a party that the cameras weren't at. And then we're going to have these fights that are now going to be on camera for stuff that nobody saw. Yeah.

Because last year it was the cheese thing. It was like, well, she said this about how you reacted to the cheese plate. And then it became a huge fight. So Brynn's like pulling from her exact same playbook. But unfortunately for her, we can see now what she's doing because she's doing the exact same thing. And it's not going to fly. So I love that she gets called out. Yeah. So she says, you know, right when it happened, I was irate. But like, don't talk about my money.

Don't speculate, okay? Let alone speculate about something so lewd and disgusting, okay? And look, I forgive her, but like, it still keeps coming back and rearing its ugly head. And everyone knows that there's one thing I'd never turn down. His good head.

So Brynn's like, you know, she apologized, right, Jessel? You were there. And Jessel says, "Yes, she was remorseful. She was as remorseful as my stomach was after I ate one of Carol's buns." Jenna, by the way, so Jenna, oh, back to me over at La La. Jenna was having us all over to hang out. It was like a fun night. And it was like, "Oh yes, it was Sy, Jessel, Brynn, and you!"

Yeah, and Jenna. And like, yeah, like you didn't come. I wish you were there. I opened the door and it's just like a little bit awkward. And like, I didn't think anything of it. But at the end of the night, Jenna grabs me and I was like, don't leave yet. And I'm like, okay. So I stay back. And I guess Bryn goes to Jenna's early and sits her down and goes like, by the way, Aaron called you poor. So here comes already another controversial controversy. So here we go. Yep.

So something she's also starting right before the season off camera to start shit. Right. So then we cut back to the other girls and Brynn's like, so where are you at with Aaron? And Jenna's like, well, you know, you know, you know, you know, and, you know, glasses, teeth, uh,

eyelashes. Cell eyelashes. Don't have my teeth. I got my teeth back. That was funny. Because you can't afford an Uber. Because you can't afford an Uber. Did that make sense? I just chose a random response and hoped it made sense of whatever you were saying.

She's like, Erin told Bryn and I a story. Erin and Jenna had lunch in the Hamptons. And then Jenna's antique flubity-gurban Bentley broke down in the middle of the road. And there was no subway. Thank God. She could have died. But then Erin got her an Uber. But then the Uber was $250. And Jenna never paid her back.

And then Erin got very, very upset. She said, literally, never in my life has anyone been this mean to me. Never. In my entire life. This was bullying. Yeah. And then she was like, oh, she's having, like, money problems. And, like, Brynn, her car broke down. And she, like, offered to get her an Uber. And she said yes. And she, like, didn't even make me back.

So Aaron's like, never happened. I don't speak about that way. Also, she's like, not poor. Like, is she as wealthy as me and Abe the Babe? No. Does that make her poor by definition? Probably. But she's like, not poor, like, poor, poor. Just like, cool poor. You know what I'm saying? She's not cash rich.

Let's just say that. So then we cut to Aaron. So the producer's like, so did you say that? And she's like, well, let's start from the beginning. Doodly-doo, doodly-doo, doodly-doo. Casting crew. I'm a storyteller. When she said, I'm a storyteller, I died. I literally laughed out loud. Someone call them off. We found a storyteller. No. Let's start from the beginning. Beat.

Beep. Beep. I'm a storyteller. Aaron has never told one compelling story in the history of this show. Can't you tell by my voice that I'm a storyteller? I don't know why that made me laugh so hard. And she was poor. The end. I'm a storyteller.

So she's like, I was just like trying to bring levity to this situation. I was telling Brynn about it and I was like, oh my God, it's like so funny. She didn't pay for her Uber. I didn't say she was having money problems. And then Brynn is like, oh my God, I swear on Mimi's grave. Okay, tacky. And also that means you're lying because everyone who swears on their children's grave is a liar.

And you don't have children. So you're just lying. I mean, you're lying. You're lying. - Her grandma's grave. But also like, here's how I think it went down. Erin's telling the story like, "So the craziest thing happened. Okay, you can like, you're gonna laugh so much. Jenna's car broke down. And so she like, like had no car. So I was like, I'll get you an Uber." So I got her an Uber.

And then she like never pay me back. I'm like, what? Like how does Jenna Lyons like not pay back? Are you having like money issues or something like that? Like what's going on? It's wild, you know? So I think she's probably like making it. I can see her saying that as like a joke, but it does not negate the fact that

that like no one should know that Jenna never paid you back. The fact that that's included in the story, regardless of where the jokes were, what was a joke, what wasn't a joke, the fact that like you happen to include the fact that Jenna never paid you back is inherently shady and also tacky. You're basically outing the fact that Jenna owes you $250 from an Uber, which means you were trying to accomplish something by that. You're trying to put that

out there into the housewives world so it would get around so she cannot act like oh my god it was just a fun joke it was all jokes like no you were being shady and we have clocked you for it well she admits later that she was she admits later that she was pissed like that she was annoyed with it because she's like i mean it was an expensive uber so of course like i was annoyed so she was bitching to brin about like this girl doesn't even pay back her uber like who does that

Who spends $250 of somebody's money and doesn't pay it back? And Brynn's like, oh my God, she meant you're poor. That's what she said. So Aaron's lying about not talking shit because she was. And Brynn's lying about her saying she's poor because that doesn't even make sense. I love it. It's like two liars facing. I know. So, I mean, I'm sure Jenna will pay her back. Just will be in the form of like body lotions and like handbags that she's trying to sell.

Just like, oh, here's a free handbag. Really, truly rich people, $250. It's like, okay. Yeah. I mean, I'll get dinner next time. I mean, that is... By the way, if Jenna did not pay her back, that is really tacky. Let's not also lose that as well. Regardless of how rich anyone is, that's tacky to do that. But also, Jenna did give her like a million gifts last year. Like, they complained about all... They're like, oh my God, Jenna, you just give so many gifts. Like, you're trying to buy our friendships. And then like...

And now they're like, can you pay us back? Can we get some more money from you? Well, that's what I mean. Jenna's like truly rich, right? So she's, and also a lot of that was SpawnCon stuff. So, you know, there was a lot of like, here's my friend's business, candles. And they're like, oh my God, Jenna, you're so generous. What's up?

with your other people's free shit but also she did buy them other stuff so she's probably just thinking oh that was sweet my friend caught me an uber yeah like i wouldn't it was just a 250 dollar i was thinking it when you're saying well 250 dollars is nothing if you're rich meaning that like aaron shouldn't really be too like whatever 250 dollars shouldn't mean anything to aaron but what you're saying is oh to jenna it was like a ten dollar jenna it was like ten dollars she wouldn't it's like i'll get you on the next one

Yeah, Jenna's like, how does Uber, how do you even know how much it costs? Doesn't it just come? Like, who uses Uber anyway? She probably has a driver or something. Yeah, to her, she's like, $250? I mean, okay. I'm sorry. Here you go. That's napkins, Jenna. Oh, I'm sorry. What do you need? Credit card? Do you take this? That's a coaster, Jenna. I'm just...

Can someone take care of this? Cass's mother? Do that. Bait her. So, Aaron's like, I am fully aware that Jenna has her $10 million loft and her $5 million beach house and, like, does not have money problems. And so, Jenna's like, but, for the record, she said that she didn't say that. So, you know...

You know, I'm like, okay, but like, so we just made up a lie. Is that what you're saying, Jenna? And Jess was like, well, I said that maybe she was trying to add humor to the story. She does call herself a quote unquote storyteller, which is as laughable as Parfitt calling himself a quote unquote food influencer or a quote unquote good husband or a quote unquote person with any sort of taste, quote unquote.

So, like most Aaron things, this just goes on and on. And Jenna's just like, well, immediately when I found out, I was like, oh, my God, I'm just like such a village person. I'm just a person of the village. I wonder if I should run for mayor of this village. But then I thought, everyone's a gossip. I mean, I'm not going to get away scot-free. So who cares? What am I going to do? She swears it wasn't in a mean way. And so I just shrugged and didn't give her 250 euros. Okay.

There's zero chance that I said it. Mary, she's a 1000% said it. So Erin's like, she's like, I just thought it was like annoying for all the previous reasons that Ben and Ronnie had been talking about for the past 45 minutes. So now Jessel, go back to Jessel, Jenna and Brynn. And Brynn's like, well, she didn't, she delivered it like, hey guys, here's a joke. And it wasn't funny. There you go. She swore to me she didn't say it though. She swore it.

Okay, okay, okay, okay, okay, ladies. All right, everybody sit down. Back it up here. Let's break it up here. We're fighting over an Uber charge. We're fighting over gossiping over an Uber charge, my lady. Uber, Uber, Uber. No Uber. How dare you suggest that I was driving someone for $250?

I hit the jackpot. So Aaron's basically, so the way these two issues are tied together is that Aaron feels like Brynn is trying to get her back for Jeff Lewis. Aaron feels like Brynn was upset about Aaron not standing up for her on Jeff Lewis. So Brynn went and told Jenna that Aaron called Jenna poor. That is the through line here.

So now, Sy goes to a place called Recovery spelled with an I-E. Wow, guys. Sounds like you have to recover your spell check.

I feel safe. I feel safe. So, Sy is going to a plunge, a cold plunge. And I love that Sy is starting her season off at recovery because she's been to therapy, guys. So, she's a totally new person. She gets into cold water. They're like, you know what, Sy? People just really felt like you were really cold last season. What are you going to do to change it? I'm going to get into a cold plunge. It's like, oh, okay.

I'm going to get into a cold plunge so I seem warm-blooded. I know. So they get in, and the employee's like, well, guess what? It's 37 degrees today. She's like, wait, thank you so much. So Jessel shows up and everything, and Jessel is not liking this. She's like, she's making me do crazy shit. I have to go into cold water. Earlier, I had to go eat a Carol's bun. I mean, what's next? A bucket of worms going to be dumped on my head. Is this fear factor? Yeah.

Cold water. This is what I always feel like is splashed on me every time Parvitt shows up naked after going having one of his fried chicken bonanzas in the West Village. Cold plunge. That's going to be the theme of my 15 year anniversary. So Sai's like, don't worry, it helps you lose weight. Don't worry about it. And then the screen says Sai and which is not real science. Whoever came up with that.

Get a new job. So then Sai is like...

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