Single Isn’t Sad
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Wait, did I just turn that off? How do I get that back on? I'm a hot mess. I'm actually very excited to sit down and talk to you right now. Are you? I was just all stressed out and I was like, I'm so excited to talk to Ashton. Yay.

This is like very therapeutic. It is. This is like my weekly therapy that I should probably get a real therapist, but. So when did you get back from New Orleans? I mean, from Monomato. What? Maybe I should have a sip of water. When did you get back from New York? This morning I landed at 8 a.m. and I had a 930 a.m. class that I had to make it to. I was running a tight schedule. Did you make it? Yep.

I had to wake up at like 3.30 this morning, but it was actually fun because I went and stayed at my friend's apartment and we got dinner last night in the city. So that was fun. Well, Ashton just came back from a little model excursion in New York City. She went to model camp. I did go to model camp.

Can you tell us what happened? Yeah, it was really fun, which actually, I don't think I told you this. So I went home for two days because it was my fall break before I went to the camp. And

The whole time I was home, I was like, I don't want to go. Like, I'm really scared. Like, it's going to be weird. And I'm going to like not know anyone and I'm going to be all alone. And I was really scared. But I was like, no, Ashton, you always bail on things. So I went. And then the second I got there, I was like, wait, this is really fun and cool. So pretty much the first day when we got there, we like checked in. And then we had like a little like small group combo with Cocoa.

Who, if you don't know, Coco Rocha. She's the queen of pose. She runs the camp. She's awesome. Love her. So we each had like a little chat with her about like where we are in like our modeling careers and like showed her like portfolios. What did you say? Which I was like, I've never modeled before professionally, but I've always wanted to get into it. But I never really had the confidence to like even like say I wanted to do it. Honestly, it was like,

the tiktok commenters that were like really gave me the confidence to like go for it because i was like you should model you should model because you know like when like you or mom or like one of my friends would say it i'd be like you're just saying that because i'm tall like that means nothing yeah but then it was like everyone this is so cool i know okay so everyone was just like you should model my sister's my sister's a model i'm not a model at all but

You know, we're just trying it out. Ashton's first photo shoot shows me these photos and she's literally like doing these crazy model poses. And I was like, you need to be a model. I don't know about crazy model poses, but, you know, it's just kind of like fun. You just go with it. And then if you look like a freak, they'll tell you and like switch it. But yeah, so we had a little chat with Coco and then we had like a tour and then they kind of had like themed dinners. A tour of what? Of like

where we were staying and like the studio where we'd be like meeting and practicing and then were they were they housing you yeah it's like a can you like were you at like a sleepaway camp yeah um yeah it kind of was like a sleepaway camp

We stay there for three nights. So the first day was check-in day. We talked to Coco about our portfolios. And then we had like a little portfolio class just kind of going about like the basics of how to like build your book and like what you should and shouldn't put in it and all this stuff. And then the next day we had posing class at 9 a.m. So...

Which was like three and a half hours. It was crazy because also Coco is like known for doing like super weird like crazy poses Which i'm like, all right Well, i'm just gonna look like a freak But so pretty much she just gave us like a little spiel and then we went over like she kind of like broke it down So it was like first we did like facial expressions like different like ways to move your face and then she was kind of saying that like

You lead a lot with your shoulder. You're supposed to lead with your shoulders. And like everyone's first instinct is to like sit into their hips and like hand on hips, which she had us do like the first minute we got there. She's like, I'm going to play music for a minute and just do a bunch of poses. And I was literally standing there like hand on hip, hand on hip. This is so awkward. And then she was like, yeah, you're all doing what you should not be doing. And then she broke it down, like how you like extend your arms and your legs, like through your movements and all this stuff. And oh my God, she also,

Did this thing where she had us like play... Sit down and she played like a sad song. And she's like, I want you all to cry. Like make yourself cry. And I made myself cry on command. What did you think about? Nothing. It's a secret. Oh my God. No, I'm actually... Wait, I've never heard you so passionate talking about something ever. I was just about to say, I was like, this is the most I've ever heard Ashton talk in your entire life. Is this like your like passion? Well, it's...

I don't know about like passion, but like it's been like a secret little like delulu dream of mine to go into modeling. And I always like was just like, oh, it's never going to happen, obviously. And now I've like had these opportunities to go into it kind of and like try it out. And I'm just really excited. So post class, I cried. She also had us jump for three minutes straight, just like up and down, up and down, up and down. She was like, why? I don't know. She was like, you know, sometimes you need to like build up your endurance. She was like, it's kind of just like see like where you are.

at like physically because she's like sometimes you don't know what you're walking into on a shoot like they could have you like running jumping on a trampoline for like the whole day you know stuff like that she's it was giving like america's next top model like she was like building like i was imagining those like crazy scenarios where they would like hang them from like the cranes and shit so that was the first half of the day which was like three and a half hours and we had a lunch break and then we came back for the walking class which was a

So fun. I could have done it all day. But first, so really, if you saw that picture on my Instagram where I'm like, we're like all leaning like all the way arched back, like pose 28 on just to impress, you know? Yeah. So she had us walk like the runway a few times like that because she's like, you're supposed to like put your hips forward and like shoulders back and like kind of like lean a little bit when you walk. And then the next day was our photo shoot day. Yeah.

So fun. So we did like one full body look and then like one like beauty shots, like just like your collarbones. When did we get these photos? They said eight days. So...

We have to put them in overlay the episode right now. Because by the time this comes out, we're going to have the photos. And then the second half of the day was like a business class kind of. So it was talking about like agencies, contracts, social media, all that jazz. That like business class was super informative. And then we did like a whole like group picture with everyone. And we had like a final chat with Coco and Piper.

Yeah, that was it. But it was really fun and I'm really glad I did it because I feel like I learned a lot and it pushed me out of my comfort zone.

which we love to do these days because i well yeah you seem like very happy and confident i haven't gotten one word in this episode yet sorry all right i'm done but yeah that was my model camp experience wait that's really fun yeah i'm happy you did it because i was always like you should just try modeling well good job i'm so proud of you thanks hey um

yeah tell me my skin is really bad yeah i'm coming don't worry i'm talking about coming in hot i'm coming with the complaints my skin is really bad right now and it's kind of red well it's actually really red it's like burnt off i don't know if you can really see right now but i tried to put on some makeup over it because i got a facial this morning and she did like all these chemical peels but i

I take spironolactone, which helps with my skin, but I forgot to take my prescription for the past two weeks. And my skin, I have like welts on my neck and I just like, I forgot like having them on my neck. It hurts so bad. Like it is on your neck, a big ass welt. I guess. It hurts so bad. And I'm just in a lot of pain now.

Oh, you want me to come snuggle you, baby? Yes. It's okay, though. I feel like I have, like, a better headspace about when I get acne now because I know that, like, I've been through it so many times and then it clears up. So I'm just like, okay, well, it'll get better. But because usually I just get, like, really depressed. But it is just, like, I hate it. I hate it so much. Yeah. My skin has not really been good either. Like, my whole jawline and, like, my cheeks have been breaking out really bad.

and i don't know some a few people have said i should get spirit what is it spironolactone spirolactone yeah it's like if your testosterone's too high so it can like lower it down wait i don't have pcos you don't how do you know because i went to a general practitioner doctor okay big girl things wait but did you know you're supposed to do that no right like no one tells us these things

But like you graduate college and then it's like, oh my God, like you're supposed to just find yourself a doctor. Like I had no idea. So I haven't been to the doctor since we were going to the pediatrician. I still go to the pediatrician.

But like who's supposed to tell you these things? Like mom didn't say like, hey, go get a doctor. So I just like didn't have a doctor for just like general needs. And I didn't know there was like an adult doctor. Maybe this sounds really dumb right now. But I went to the general practitioner and he did all my blood work on everything and my hormones and food sensitivities and everything. And he said that I don't have PCOS. At least it looks like I don't.

I want to do that. I want to go to a doctor. What else is new with you? Well, I was supposed to go to Disney this weekend. And you know how I always say that, like, when I plan things, like, they never work out. Do you always say that? Actually, you do always say that. I remember, like, the boat with Mother's Day. Like, especially...

No, and with Braxton, like, anytime I put my name on something and I plan something and I book something, like, somehow it just, like, it never works. Like, Mother's Day, I booked a boat. The boat just, like, literally blew up, like, an hour before we were supposed to go on it. And then I booked this trip to Disney for Braxton's birthday because they have an off week for football this week, so we get to, like, go do something. And I booked us to go to the Four Seasons Orlando. Oh, yeah.

That's so fun. Which, let me tell you, I think that baby spiked up those prices. I'm not kidding. The Four Seasons Orlando baby? Yes. Well, the Four Seasons is an expensive hotel.

No, but it was like abnormally priced. I was like, this baby did something here. And I was not happy about it. But I was like, let's go. Four seasons. Happy birthday, Braxton. Well, he actually didn't want to go to Disney, but I was like... You're like, I want to go to Disney. Weren't you just at Disney in Paris? Yeah, but like the not like I want to do like real Disney things. So anyhow, I booked Disney and now there's a massive tornado coming through Florida. A tornado? Yeah.

Oh, a hurricane. I was like, a tornado? I didn't hear about that one. There's a massive hurricane coming and Disney shut down and so is the Four Seasons. So Disney's not happening and...

I was going to stay in Miami, but honestly, it's going to be raining here and like really, really windy all week. So I would have had to like stay in my apartment the whole time anyway. And I figured I might as well go home to New Jersey and see like the kids and see dad and everyone. So me and Braxton are leaving. Oh, Braxton's going to? Yeah.

oh that'll be really nice the little ones don't know yet so i'm gonna surprise them i think i'm gonna pick them up from school tomorrow oh my god they're gonna be so excited being home right now is the best like it is my favorite time of year i got my pumpkin spice rook i got the pumpkin bagels from bagel nook and like i'm gonna freak it out the weather is perfect it's like sunny and 70 degrees and breezy and the leaves are changing colors

You don't know how passionate I am about the season of fall. Well, we don't have fall in Miami. We don't really have it in New Orleans either. It just doesn't happen. I'm craving the crispy leaves. I'm going to take the kids because they have off school Friday. Me and Braxton are going to take them to a pumpkin patch. Can I come? And then we're going to pour pumpkins. Can I come? Yeah. Come back. I'm going to Vegas again. Okay. Well, pause on that because I'm not done reading. No, I know. Keep going. But.

They also just announced a Rook, which anyone listening, Rook is this coffee place in New Jersey. And it's like, it's not even coffee. It's like God's milk. It's so good. It's God's milk. It's rich, but it's, I don't know. It is the best coffee ever.

Because I have coffee every day of my life and I've never had coffee that is even like one tenth as good as this. No, Rook is the best by far because it's just like their cold brew. It's not like it's an espresso. And my favorite thing is because I hate sweet.

and like sweet coffee when they have a flavor they don't like put in a flavored syrup they like brew the coffee with the flavors in it but there's no added sweetness and it's just they get it they posted something today on Instagram it was a Reese's peanut butter coffee and I said hello

And they were like, we'll be out this month. And I was like, I commented. I was like, well, I'm going to be home this week. So can you please release it? I commented too. We have to go home before Thanksgiving to get it if they don't have it now. I'll be home before Thanksgiving. Like the week of Thanksgiving break? Yeah, before we go to Wisconsin. Okay, cool. Same. Okay. Very excited for fall. I'm going to have a fall week with the little siblings. Are you excited to see the little duckies?

wait when did we get ducks i asked penelope i went over on thursday i was like when did we get these she goes yesterday i'm like wait what every time we go home there is a new animal there no like i swear to god there's a goat there's a horse there's a pig there's a leopard it's not even funny because like we always joke like yeah every time there's a new animal but it's it's real

It's not it's literally not a joke. Every single time I go home, I make a TikTok and I go every time I come home, there's a new animal in the house. And this week it's a duck. And it's a process because because we have baby chicks. So when you sent me the ducks or you posted them, I was just thinking like, oh, more baby chicks. I was like, oh, we've already had those. But then I realized, holy shit, they're ducks. I saw their little feet with the webs and their little beaks. Wait, so what are we going to do with ducks when they get big? I don't know. Ducks are cute, though. I like ducks.

but me so there's there's two yellow ones and like a brown one and i was like penelope what what are their names she goes duck duck and goose that is so funny they're the worst at naming animals we have so many animals that none of them don't have names like they're all they change them every day yeah like the the goats are

It was like Billy, Willie, then it was like, I don't know. There's four goats, but they don't really have names. And then the pigs are like, do they have names either? I don't think they have names. Because everyone always asks too. They're like, all these animals, what are their names? I'm like, I have no idea. I could not tell you. They're like made up names. Every time we come home, they have a different name. Yeah, but... Oh, I'm so excited to go home. I love our little farm.

I'm, so excited to go home. There's nothing better than going home. Like there's just no better feeling in the world Yeah, that's why I like a big hug I like didn't want to leave for the model camp because I was home. I was like wait, I can't leave Wait, what does it mean if my my hand like when I was sleeping on the plane the other day? And I woke up my hand was numb and I couldn't feel like my pinky down But I still can't feel it. Oh You is that bad? I think so

You might have like some circulation problems. I think I have circulation problems. Like arthritis? No, that's like your joints. Well, my pinky's numb and this pinky I already can't feel because remember when I fell down the stairs and cut myself? So I haven't felt this pinky in years, but this pinky is now also numb.

It's okay. You don't need your pinkies for anything. Wait, I'm so, are you excited for Vegas? I'm so excited for Vegas. So like my whole grade, it's like the senior Vegas trip that like a bunch of colleges do every year. University of Miami is going to be there. Actually, I was talking to Katie today and she was like, we might leave tomorrow because we don't want to like have our flights canceled because of the hurricane.

yeah so i was like you're gonna go to vegas on a wednesday till a monday and she was like yeah i'm kind of scared way too long to be in vegas i'm already scared to go friday to monday i'm like yeah no people left on sunday when we went because they were like we need to get out of here yeah no i'm really scared but i'm like more than two days in vegas is pretty scary i know i've only been i've been twice but i've only been for like one day both times so and it's enough yeah

But. Well, you're going to have so much fun. I know. I'm really excited. We booked it, of course, like through one of those like college like party tours things. Oh, yeah. And they like book you all at the same hotel. Yeah. And then. Oh, it's so fun. And then they like plan all the events for you, but they always plan like the worst events. So we're all like. No.

going to different events anyway no it's like all my friends they're so fun they're so fun and yeah everyone stays in the same hotel you check in it's like madness checking in I'm so excited oh my god I remember my Vegas trip my Vegas trip actually I hit a hundred thousand followers on Instagram and I was like okay

Wait, I remember that was like one of your first videos that like kind of blew up was your get ready with me in Vegas. And I was like, oh my God. Because someone else like stitched your video or something. And I was like, whoa, like they just stitched Alex's video. Like she's kind of like, people know she is. My get ready with me's in Vegas were like popping off. And I was like, wait, what's happening? That's so funny. Oh my God. I'm so excited. Isn't that crazy that's been two years? That's kind of disgusting. Wait.

It feels like a century ago, though, but it's also... No, it doesn't. That feels like yesterday. I mean, being in Vegas feels like a century ago, but, like, I don't know. That whole time of you, like... So much has happened since then. It's crazy. Yeah, that is quite crazy. I remember we ended up at, like, some weird, crazy after parties in Vegas, too. Like, we went with one of the DJs that was playing at the club. Wait, there's this one club. The Chainsmokers?

no i feel like it's always the chain smokers um the there's this one club that like the stripper comes down from the ceiling with like a bottle you have to go it's um what's it called it's by caesar's palace i don't know it's the club but like literally they they bring you the bottle service from the ceiling so like a stripper comes down on like a tightrope and like brings you the bottle i is that i

XS. Omnia? Oh, Omnia. No, not XS. It might be Omnia. I don't know. I'll do my research. XS is in the win. Okay. XS is really fun, though. I've never been to the win, so. What? Where are you staying? Wait, don't say it. Don't say it. Danger, danger. Danger, danger. Don't say what I'm saying. Yeah, I've only been to, like, the Fountain Blue, though. But I'm so excited. We just, my friends and I just booked, like, one of those shows, like,

It's called Thunder Down Under. It's like the Magic Mike show, but with Australian men. And I'm so excited. That's fun. When I went to Vegas, I was in charge of booking the male strip show for me and my friends. And I was like...

I was like, oh, this one is like a magic show. I was like, this is a lot of fun. Like, this is really cool. Like, I personally love magic. I used to do those little kits from like David Blaine when I was little. And I wanted to, I was an aspiring magician. So I was like, let's go to a magic strip show. Like, this is cool. This is fun. And I thought it was like going to be really crazy. And we get there and like, we get a glass of wine. We sit down and everyone in the audience is like five and six years old. And I was like, what?

what's what's going on and it just so turns out that it was a children's magic show and like the magic wasn't even real it literally he would like you would see him like do the trick like behind his back he would like take something off and then be like poof and everyone was like wow and we were the only people like over the age of like 10 in there besides the parents that's a big flop i know my

My friends were so mad at me. And you made, they all had to pay for this show that you booked. I was like, guys, the tickets are almost sold out. Like we have to get them now or it's going to be too late. But like, this is just another example of every time I book something, it's wrong. Yeah. Maybe you should just let someone else do everything for you.

Yeah, whatever. But, you know, maybe we should get into the hot topic of the week. Yeah, let's quit yapping. Our topic this week, which is going to seem a little bit

It's going to seem a little bit odd coming from us, maybe, but I feel like I get so many questions all the time of like how to be single or how to find a boyfriend or like I'm going on dates. How do I make him love me? How do I whatever? But I'm like being single isn't such a bad thing. Like I don't know why everyone takes it as like the most like negative thing of your entire life. I feel like being single is bad.

like very fun and a very positive thing. And I think it's very important to be single like during...

some portion of like your young adult life. I don't think it's as sad as people make it seem. Like everyone's like, oh, how do I not be single? Like it just, I feel like if you're in the single phase, just you got to enjoy it. Like you're not going to be single forever. You got to embrace the singleness. Exactly. You're not going to be single forever. And when you're single, you just have the freedom to

do literally whatever you want like going out is so much more fun in my opinion when you're single because like you never know where the night's gonna take you like I have had the weirdest funniest stories of going out like of my entire life

from being single. Yeah. And just like people say single as if it's like a bad curse word, the single. But like when I hear single, I'm like, wow, that's great. Not not for me, obviously. But no, but seriously, like I think it's so fun. But I think I mean, I guess there's a few things that like throw people off.

But I guess the scary thing about being single or I guess going from a relationship to being single is... Okay, wait. Hold on. Backtrack. Let me just clarify one thing here. Being in a relationship is great, but you shouldn't be in a relationship that you don't want to be in just so you're not single. Yeah.

I agree with that. Like, that just... What are you doing? When you're in a good relationship, it's great. Obviously, that's what everyone wants, to be in, like, a good, happy, healthy relationship. But so many people are just, like...

Dating loser guys and putting up with terrible things just because they want to have a boyfriend for some sort of like security or something. Yeah, like if I wasn't happy with Braxton and like things weren't going great, like I would be like, all right, break up. Like I'll be single. That's fine. Like people should not be scared to like leave.

a shitty relationship because being single can be so fun if you have the right attitude about it I feel like we need to do like a crash course on being single because there's a lot of things that go into it one is loneliness and I feel like a lot of people don't want to break up with someone because they don't want to be lonely yeah I went through that I was terrified of being lonely

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I just feel like so many people are like so scared to leave a relationship because they like rely on their happiness on their like significant other and they don't know how to like be happy or don't know what to do alone, which is kind of a toxic place to be in.

In the first place. Even if you're in a good relationship. You shouldn't rely all your. Yeah. Happiness on that other person. Don't put all your eggs in one basket. I don't think that's the right. That's exactly what I said to my friend at dinner the other night.

because really her boyfriend called her they're like doing long distance right now and he was like I rely all of my happiness on you and I think we should take a break so I can figure things out and she was like so you love me so much that you want to take a break like you need to figure out how to handle your emotions and they're fine now but like

Like, you know, some people just don't know how to handle their emotions and you have to realize that like you can put a few eggs in every little category of your life. Like friends are super important. Family, super important. Hobbies, doing things you love, working out, super important for your mental health and your well-being. And it's not all just about that person. A boyfriend is like a security blanket. It's like a blanket and then it's like you have to like learn to live without it. And I think

Well, part of the thing that's just hard at first, which is just like, without a doubt, this is always going to be hard, is just like a routine that you get into because you're used to texting them. You're used to going to sleep with them. You're used to waking up with them. You're used to going out with them. So it's like part of the routine or the routine that you have with a boyfriend is so hard to break up.

off, but there's other people in your life. And granted, some people, you know, when they get a boyfriend, they're not as close with their girlfriends or they let it go and they get a little scared, but you just got to get right back into it. Like you break up with your boyfriend, you need to distract yourself off the bat. I always say distract, distract, distract, like call your grandma. If you don't have any friends, call your mom, call

your best friends call your cousin call your co-worker like just be on the phone like pick up the phone text call anyone but your ex like because that is where things are going to get a little tricky you can't be reaching out to them when you get lonely you need to like text someone else yeah you really need to like learn how to like not just go crawling back to them which you really you

helped me with that you really tried to distract me when I was going through my breakup like remember when we went to Miami for my birthday and I was just crying the whole time but you kept being like whoop whoop take a shot let's go out let's go clubbing and I'm like crying I'm like I hate everything I'm not having fun and you're like whoo happy birthday

But yeah, you need to just distract yourself That was really sweet because I probably would have just been like crying in my bed alone if I didn't do that So yeah, and I mean when you break up with someone all you want to do is text them Like you were literally sitting there like looking at your phone. You're like, oh my god I need to text them right now But actually you don't need to you are going to be okay and I think I think there's like a few phases of a breakup because

One, there's like the breakup glow up, which we're going to get into and how to have a breakup glow up. But like going through a breakup is at first, I guess it sucks. And you're allowed to. Alex is like, don't be sad.

Like, you're allowed to be sad and take as much time as you need. But don't, like, dwell on it. No, but you only get a certain amount of time to be sad. Because some people are like, I broke up with my boyfriend, like, a year ago. Like, I'm so sad. Like, you need to put a time limit on the time that you're allowed to be sad. Like, at first, like, be sad. Make a sad playlist. I'll say that has been really great for me. Sally actually has a really great sad playlist. Maybe we'll post it. And...

Be sad, get in your car, take a drive, take a cry, feel all the feels. That's all I did going through a breakup. I would just play my sad music and drive around New Orleans like sobbing.

it was really therapeutic I kind of love when you go through a breakup and you have to go on a drive and you have to cry like it's yeah honestly kind of great because I lived in a dorm with eight girls and I was like I can't like sit in a room with my roommate and like cry right now because it was also like kind of weird because I wouldn't let myself cry in front of anyone so I was like I'm like not sad but then I would like get in my car and just drive and then I would just waterworks and I was like there it is

It's so fun though. It's like you're in a movie. Yeah. You're like, you can be like so dramatic about it.

I would like look out the window and be like yeah it starts raining it's just perfect I was just about to say the rain because when I did my breakup cry it was raining out and it's just like honestly wait for a thunderstorm and then break up with them and get in the car it really it's really helpful you have to get out the feelings but not for too long like what would you say is a good amount of time to be sad before you start your next phase of the breakup like a month two weeks two weeks

I would give it like a full month because like really like you can like pretend, but like you're really not going to like actually like I think you should definitely start like going out and try to get out there before a month goes by for sure. But like you're really like still going to be like I guess on it for like a month. But like after a month, I feel like a week I'm like cry and then like get back out there.

Yeah, but, like, mentally you're still not really there. Like, you should be getting out there, but I don't think, like, I think it's okay to still be, like, upset and, like, crying at the club. Okay, fine. You know? One month at most. You get one month, girl, girls, and then we're cutting you off. So you get one month to cry, one month to sit in bed. You can, like, cancel your plans. Like, you're just so upset. And then you have to have a breakup blow up. Yeah, you're going to, like, force yourself to...

first of all like go out and be social and just get out there again not like you have to get out there to like a month is too long i think a month is too long i'm going back on what i'm saying okay i feel like it's like two weeks of no plans you can cancel shit you can be a hobbit and then after that you need to like you can still be sad i guess but like you have to like get out of the house and do things and hang out with your friends and distract yourself otherwise you are going to spiral and like want to get back with this person

I mean, yeah, that makes sense. But I was saying like a month in terms of like you might be out and you still might start crying because you're still upset. Oh, yeah. I'm not saying you're not going to cry. I'm just saying you can't just like get over something in two weeks. Well, not all heartless. Alex, you can fake it till you make it. You can fake it till you make it. That actually is a really important part of like going through a breakup and like getting back out there, faking it till you're making it.

And I'm going to tell you how you're going to fake it till you make it. Well, actually, I think there's some stuff for like a breakup glow up that it's just going to make you feel better. So like when I go through a breakup, I like to do little things or self-care stuff that I just know is going to like make me feel good. So whenever you're ready to get back out there, 14 days and you're going to put on your outfit. Alex is like two days.

You're gonna go to the club. You're gonna go to dinner with your friends. You're gonna go get lunch somewhere like whatever you're doing I think it's important to get some appointments on the books on the calendars Make a nail appointment make a hair appointment I mean like

in college honestly like when we like couldn't like we didn't have the money to just go get like um a blowout or like whatever i remember sarah sarah would like cut our hair for us really find a friend who can yeah make your friend cut your hair stylist oh cut your bangs like i did don't do that yeah or get get some fresh highlights

Change it up. Oh, self-tan. That's another good one. I always feel hotter when I'm tan. Get my eyebrows done. Do a full body exfoliation. Pluck your eyebrows. Go get your eyebrows done. Get your lips done. Literally just make any sort of appointments that are going to make you feel better. Yeah, I was going to say workout too because endorphins, as much as you don't want to, it helps. Yeah.

So all of a sudden you're like, all right, fine. Like I have all these appointments. I have to go. And then immediately after you're already like, well, I'm feeling a little bit better. Yeah. I'm feeling better. Then the next thing you're going to do in this breakup boot camp is you're going to go from, um,

your sad playlist to your hot girl playlist. So now you need to play all the songs. Like you need some like Megan, the stallion, some like really good Britney Spears, some put on that Kim Petras. Yes. Like you are going to dance in the mirror after you have all of your, your little beauty appointments, hacks, blowups, you're going to dance in the mirror and you're going to be like, I'm going to dance in the mirror. Wait, you don't dance in the mirror. No.

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this like hot girl music which I think is something Ashton struggles with because every time I'm in the car with her she plays music and I'm like I get out of the car and I'm like I think I now have depression like I don't think I've ever been depressed before but I now think I have it all right you're just a little dramatic I just know it I'm telling you the music that you listen to the music that you listen to impacts like how you are and how you think and if you're listening to sad depressed music you're going to be sad and depressed

Okay, like, I guess, but sometimes sad songs are just better, you know? Okay, well, you get two weeks of sad songs and then you have to switch it over. You gotta turn on, like, the bimbo songs. The dumb, like, la la la, I wanna be hot and shake my ass. Yeah, so you need to make two playlists when you break up. So make a sad playlist and then make a hot playlist.

i'm in charge of the sad you're in charge of the hot yeah and then the other thing that you're gonna do is you're gonna mute this x on socials because i know you want to stalk i trust me i know but it's just gonna do you no good you have to it's like out of sight out of mind mean but it's so true out of sight out of mind yeah i can't speak out of mind

But like it actually works. If you like muting someone's story is the one of my favorite little things.

that they've added to social media. Yeah, because then you just, like, forget. It's not like they know. You're not being, like, constantly reminded of them. Yeah, you don't have to block them and it's like, oh, God, this big deal. But it's just like, you're not going to look, okay? Because looking is not going to be good. Also, you don't need to just block him, but block any of his friends who are going to be posting things of him going out that you're not going to want to see. You'll have to get that out of there as well. Wait, don't block unless, like, block? I don't block people.

I didn't say block. You said block. Don't block. Okay. Unless like... Mute. I don't know. I'm not a blocker. I've never blocked anyone, even if I hate them. I'm not a blocker either, actually. I don't think I have anyone blocked. I don't think so. Unless they're like weird spammer stalkers commenting on my posts. I don't really think I like to block people because... No. Obviously, I'm going to have a breakup glow up and I'm like, wait, you're going to need to see me after this. Yeah. I agree with that. I'm not really into blocking, but muting stories...

is good i just wanted to say that because you did say block well whoops well whoops there's also something that just like chemically happens when you have a breakup i don't know it's it's actual science that you just like have a like you don't even need to make any appointments you don't need any surgeries

It just happens. Like, it's like you go through, like, a puberty again where it's just, like, whoa. Like, something just happens. Like, I've never seen someone go through a breakup and then get worse. Actually, the guys. The guys always go, like, down and the girls always go up. That's what I think. It is something, like, some, like, weird, like, higher power of women. Like, just they magically always get hotter with, like, every failed relationship.

Yeah, it's true. You're going to have a breakup glow up. And then when you're getting back out there and you're dating guys and you're single, like, I just don't understand. I guess this is less too about like going after a breakup, but just like being single and dating people like so many girls like go on dates. Well, I guess you're going on dates looking for a boyfriend or looking for a guy. But like you can't you can't like expect too much. Yeah.

You know, like, you know what I mean? Like some people like go on a date and they're just like, I need to make you my boyfriend. Yeah. But they don't even like care about they just want to make the guy like them. Like, what about making? Yes, that's what I'm trying to say. Like, I don't know.

Like, I feel like a lot of girls go on dates and they're like, okay, like, is he going to text me back? Does he like me? Do you even like him? Exactly. Like, I feel like people date and they just like, they don't, girls, at least, I don't think girls date themselves. Girls don't prioritize themselves. I feel like girls need to be more selfish when they're dating. Mm-hmm.

like they get so worried about like what the guy thinks of them but i feel like the girl needs to be a little bit more selfish and be like oh okay like here's what i like here's what i don't like and like you can also date and have fun but you don't need to like lock this person into being your boyfriend i also just think the whole like premise of single girls just constantly being like i need to find a boyfriend i want a boyfriend like blah blah blah blah like

It'll happen when it happens. You can't force it because you're just going to end up in a not good relationship. Not like it's going to be bad, but it might not be the person for you. Why would you try to force a boyfriend or a relationship? It's just going to happen. You really can't force that when you think about it. Yeah, I feel like it does just happen when it happens. Honestly, I feel like it always happens when you're not looking for a boyfriend. Exactly. Everyone says that, but it's so true.

No, it is true. When I met Braxton, I literally was like the last thing on earth that I want is a boyfriend, which is why it took me so long to date him. So I was like, I don't want a boyfriend. I was literally like, fuck that. I'm not doing it. I don't need a boyfriend. Like not happening for me. And then Braxton came along and I was like, he's just so perfect. Perfect. Yeah. Damn it. I was like, damn it. The whole thing about being single, like you shouldn't be looking for a boyfriend. You should be like, oh my gosh, like I'm

I'm alone right now. I don't have to like cater to anyone. I can do whatever I want. Like you should be taking these opportunities to like say yes to everything and like be a little crazy, like do things for the plot. Like just have fun. Like this is like, yeah, like you're single. You don't have to report to anyone. Are you kidding me? Like you're just come on. Like, no, I don't understand why the girls are so upset.

Yeah, girls, get it together because you don't realize how good being single is. And then you're going to get a boyfriend and you're going to be like, this dude sucks. I wish he wasn't like complaining and crying to me every night about what I'm doing and saying my outfits are slutty. Like, no one's going to tell you your outfits too slutty when you're single.

No one's going to say, you shouldn't wear that. All your girlfriends are going to be like, yes, you should be wearing that. You should take more clothes off. You know? Yeah. Yeah. Just the fun little things in life.

Yeah, I don't think single needs to be so devastating all the time. And even like if you are single and you go on a date and you get rejected, it's not the end of the world. It's not the end of the world. If he rejects you, then he's not wasting your time. He was like, yeah, like you have to take rejection as exception that that's not the person for you. Yeah, you just gotta be like, all right, on to the next one.

Yeah. One time I did get rejected bad, though. Oh, tell me about it. Well, I was pretty girls getting rejected. I was going on a few dates with a guy and I thought things were going great. And I was like,

I really like this artist. And there was a concert in town that weekend. And he was like, great. Like, I'll get us tickets to go. We'll be so much fun. So this is like a week before the concert. And then the night before the concert, we hadn't talked in a few days. So I was just like, hey, like just checking in, making sure like we're all good to go for the concert tomorrow. Like looking forward to it. So excited. And he was like, oh, I'm actually taking like another girl. That's literally what he said to me. And I was like,

Okay. To the concert. He's taking another girl to the concert that you wanted to go to.

Yeah, I just got replaced and, you know, I did. It was raining out and I got in my car and I cried. And then I was like, you know what? That wasn't the person for me. Yeah, definitely doesn't sound like the person for you. If a guy is rejecting you, then why would you want to be with him? Yeah, never, never, never. And it's okay to be upset for a second, but like... You should never like beg...

for anyone to like like you or want you you know yeah if they don't want you just accept it and be like all right they are not the one you can't force listen we all we all get rejected we all get rejected like

You know what I mean? I'm like, it just happens. Like we have to just accept it. Like we have to stop being so upset at the rejection and we just have to accept that. No, that person does not want you and move on. It's okay to be upset, but you shouldn't be like begging for them back if they're saying they don't want you. Like what, you're going to force someone to change their mind into liking you? That's

That doesn't work. That's not how it works. All girls get rejected. It's part of life. It just happens. It builds character. We have to have some tough skinned girls. And if you're going to be single, you have to do it right. You know what I mean? Like, don't be single and be mopey dopey. Because if you are looking for a boyfriend, you think he's going to want to go after the girl who's so sad that she's single. No, he wants the girl who's fine.

fun and confident and confident she's so happy being single and he's like wow being herself doing her thing tiger oh don't say that but yeah like i could have been like so upset when i went abroad and been like we like i don't want to be here like i'm lonely and i'm you know i don't have anyone because i went through my breakup right before i left for abroad but

But instead, I was like, I'm single and I'm in Italy and I don't know anyone here. And there's all these fun people that I've never met before. And I'm just going to go out and say yes to everything. Like the first night I was abroad, I didn't really know like the going out scene in Florence. And I got a DM from this like random girl. She was actually from New Jersey.

and she's like hey like i work at this club like my boyfriend's a dj like we want to bring you like a vip with us like bring your girlfriends i fact checked her because i had one mutual with her on instagram so then i was like and the girl was like yeah like i used to work with her she's cool so it's like all right i bring me and my like three girlfriends to this club all right all right

Okay. We go to this club. We're in, it's our first night going out in Italy. We like just got there. I've never met this girl before. And I texted her like, Hey, like I'm, I'm here. I think like at the club, she comes out, comes, gets, comes to get us, brings us right to the DJ booth table, introduces me to her boyfriend and all of her roommates and her friends. And

We just partied the whole night together and we actually had the best time ever. And they became my best friends in Florence. And we would like go out every night together at the clubs, dancing on tables. We'd even like get dinners before. And it was just like so fun because we would literally be out till 630 in the morning every night. And I was like, I would never be able to do this if I had a boyfriend who was like, where are you? What are you doing? Being single is like such an important time to like take care

And like try new things. You know. Also to get to like know yourself. Oh yeah. Like you should be so comfortable with yourself. Before you get into a relationship. Yeah. Because if you're not comfortable with yourself. You're just going to like structure yourself around this other person. And you're not really going to know.

know yourself or what you really want because you're just kind of doing everything for the other person when you're single like think about it it's like all your girlfriends are there all your boyfriends like you can have date nights with your girls and i feel like girls nights are the best like get like you know what my friends really want to do is do like a clay date which is basically like

clay you get a clay kit and then we like we'll make little clay things which is just i don't know just a fun little date night if you need something to do with your girlfriends no i love like getting dressed up and going to like a happy hour wine bar or like a nice like cocktail lounge with my friends like that is so fun because you just sit you get a little tipsy you gossip

You get hot. You can take cute pictures. Those are my favorite nights. Like happy hour or like cocktail hour. Yeah, I've honestly really been loving going to...

like there's this little lounge by where I live and it's like a restaurant and then there's also a bar but it's just like cool and drinks but like a sexy vibe and just like just go with your girlfriends I think being single is so exciting it is like when someone has a breakup I'm like congratulations I know this is the best time of your life you honestly helped me change my mindset because I was so scared of being single and now I think being single is like the best thing in the entire world

Well, also going out when you're single or like newly single for some reason is so much more fun. Like the bar, the same old bar that you've been going to for 10 years is like suddenly somehow so much better.

Yeah, so much more fun. Like, the music's better. Like, you just, like, going out when you're freshly single, there's something in the air. Again, scientifically, I don't know. It just changes, but it's just way more fun. It really is. You have, like, a fire inside of you. There's, like, just nothing holding you back anymore, you know? Not that being in a relationship holds you back, but, like, you really have the freedom to just do whatever you want and not have to, like, you have the freedom to be a little selfish, which...

You can't like always be selfish in every point in your life. Like when you're single, you get to be a little selfish and just do whatever you want. And I think that is something that people take for granted a lot. And everyone needs to change their minds about being single. Yeah, you single bitches. Stop being sad because being single can be really fun. I miss you so much. Wait, I miss you too. I wish I could hug you right now.

I know, I wanna hug you. I wanna cry for some reason. Wait, I don't... For some reason, I know this is, like, really weird, every time I see, like, you and Braxton post a video together, I'm like, I wanna cry. Like, I miss you guys. Like, I wanna, like, hug Mama and Papa, you know? Mama and Papa. Like, we were such a little family at the beginning of the summer. Now I never see Bebe anymore, because she's working. I'm working late, because I'm a singer. I'm a singer.

Okay, well, it's time for What Would Alex Do? Okay. Miss you so much, but you've got to go. You're kicking me off, but you miss me. Well, yeah. But love you, bye. Stay single, stay hot, stay sexy. All right. Love you. And time for What Would Alex Do? What Would Alex Do?

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All right, let's see what the Earl girls wrote in for us this week.

um, let's start with this one. Hi, Alex. My friend is getting married and my ex-best friend is going to be in the wedding. We haven't talked in five years, but we will be around each other a lot because of all the pre-wedding activities. I feel like it'll be awkward and I won't enjoy the events because of the situation. I have no interest in being friends with her again, but I want all of us to get along for the bride. What would Alex do? Okay, so this is a situation where you are just going to have to be nice and suck it up. Also, I feel like

five years is a lot of time in between i'm not saying that that makes you know whatever happened or why you're not friends okay but five years is a long time and i think you know this is someone's wedding day and the last thing you would want right for your friend who's getting married is you to create drama on her wedding day or something for her to worry about like

this should be so seamless for her. And if this is, you know, truly your friend, I know it's definitely going to be awkward having like an ex friend there, but I think you really just need to suck it up and be an adult. And even if the girl who is your ex best friend isn't acting that way, like, I think that's literally something you say to her, like, listen, like we need to like be there for our friend who's getting married and like,

you don't have to like her in your head but I think for this instance in particular you need to just be nice have a smile on your face and I think just in general it's always better to be nicer and just be the bigger person like just

just because you're being nice to someone doesn't mean you have to be friends with them. It's definitely like awkward and scary. It's like, I mean, it's like seeing an ex-boyfriend, but this is definitely a moment where I would say you have to like put your personal feelings aside because this is someone else's big day and you don't want them to like look back on this and be like, oh my God, these two girls caused a fight on my wedding day and that's the only thing I can remember. So just suck it up, be the bigger person, be nice, have a smile on your face, be just so dandy and great

and if there is a problem between you two then let it come from the other friend and not from you I swear just be the bigger person and be happy for your friend who's getting married and focus on that hey Alex I've had a boyfriend for over a year now and I think I might be losing feelings for him I don't get excited to see him anymore and I get irritated with him easily

We were best friends for years before we started dating and I know if I break up with him, we won't have that friendship anymore. What would Alex do? Hmm. I mean, this is definitely a hard one and I think, I mean, listen, there are definitely times when you're dating someone for a while where things can get a little stale, you know what I mean? Like, it's not saying that you're an

I don't know, losing feelings for them and just like you don't want to be with them anymore. But sometimes when you're with someone and you spend a lot of time with them and you're dating, like sometimes things get boring and you need to spice things up. So if that's the case where things are just getting kind of a little boring, I think like that's completely normal and don't like freak yourself out about it and like getting irritated with the person because like you spend a lot of time with them and it's like it's normal. You know, sometimes it's like,

If you're around, I don't know if I'm around Braxton for a while and we start like pissing each other off or it's mostly just me getting annoyed. But that is completely normal. And I think you can do something fun like a fun date night or just something romantic. Like honestly, even for Braxton's birthday, I...

cooked him a dinner and I like redid his living room a little bit so I just like took away the other chairs from the dining room table I like lit some candles I got some like candles from Party City and we just like had a nice little wine night dinner alone the two of us and it was just like any other night of us having dinner at home but it felt like so much more special just because we kind of like changed the ambiance of his house and you're not going out you know you don't have to worry about like

you know, paying for a dinner at a nice restaurant. Like, it's just, like, a chill night, the two of you, and, I don't know, making it a little, like, romantic and fun. And I think that's something you could do if you need to, like, spice things up and try and get some of the, like, romantic vibes back in there. But it's definitely normal to have, like, a kind of period where you feel, like, stale or whatnot. But if you're just losing feelings for him in general, then I would probably say...

I mean, you know this one's coming by now, you guys know, but I would say it's okay to break up, you know what I mean? Like, it sucks that you may not be friends, but if you were friends for years before you were dating, maybe there's a time where you can go back to being friends. It might not be right away, but I know last week in the Tar Yummy episode, she was talking about how they kind of put both of their feelings aside, and

personally and they just really wanted to have their friendship after she broke up with her boyfriend and she really respected him and their friendship that they had even though it wasn't going to be a romantic relationship anymore so maybe there is a point where you guys can be friends um but i mean going through breakups really hard and might not be feasible but it's

I don't think you should stay in a relationship that isn't suiting you just because you're afraid of losing a friendship. And I think if you guys really truly are like friends at the end of the day, then I think you guys will come back around to that. I think personally anytime that I've think like things have gotten like just a little bit more complacent and you do those more like romantic things like put your phone down just hang out with each other and if you

aren't feeling it or nothing comes back or it's still just you're not you don't have that vibe with each other then maybe that is more so of a sign of like okay maybe this isn't the right

relationship for me but I'm wishing you the best Alex help every time I bring the guy I'm seeing around my friends he's so invested in talking to them and gives them way more attention than me I'm glad he wants to be close with my friends but I feel like he neglects me when we're with them what would Alex do this is so funny I feel like not funny because I know this is something you're seriously upset about but it's just funny of like I could see myself being like hello like give me attention what are you doing but

But I mean, I think that I don't think him giving your friends attention is him like not being...

Being a good boyfriend to you I think he's probably trying to be an extra good boyfriend to you by like trying to get along with all of your friends Um, and maybe that's just like he's getting caught up in that a little bit But I feel like if it's a boyfriend, I would just be like hey Like I feel like whenever we hang out with other people you're always talking to them and not me um, but there could be a problem if because some people in relationships like you go out in public together and like The other person literally forgets you exist so

So that is another possibility. But I mean, if it's him just like getting along with your friends, I actually think that's nice that he can get along with your friends. But I wouldn't be afraid to voice. Like, I don't think there's anything wrong. I mean, personally, what would Alex do? I would be like, hey...

You're not talking to me at all. Thanks so much for talking to my friends, but can you also talk to me? I'm not really sure. I need more context here. All of these, I'm like, I really feel like we should do a live what would Alex do one time because I'm like, I have so many questions back for you guys and I just want to know more. But that's what Alex would do. I would just say, hey, bucko, pay attention to me. But that is all for this week's episode. I love you guys and I will see you next Thursday.

For another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earle, don't forget to like, subscribe, follow this podcast. It means the world to me. And I will see you guys next week. Bye. Wait, did I just turn that off? How do I get that back on? I'm a hot mess.

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