Balancing Friends vs. Boyfriends
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We are going to have some serious girl talk today. We're gonna talk relationships. We're gonna talk boundaries. I feel like this is a good episode for anyone who's in a relationship or maybe just got out of a relationship or maybe about to enter a relationship. Basically anyone. We're gonna go over...

how my relationship's been going because I have been flooded with DMs, comments, asking if my boyfriend and I have broken up. And that's because he did not come to Coachella with us. The reason he wasn't at Coachella wasn't because he had a schedule conflict, he couldn't make it. It's because we wanted a girl strip. Welcome back to another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earl. I've been moving

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This episode is brought to you by Liquid IV. It is hot out this summer. It is actually absurdly hot out and you don't have to be an athlete like Braxton to get the sweat going working outside training. I'm sweating walking to the car, walking down the road. People are taking Zoom meetings on their porch sweating and you need to replace that sweat with hydration. I personally love Liquid IV. They have three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink,

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This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never a

quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar, at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts every three seconds on the app.

I'm going to take you guys back, set the scene a little bit, give you some context.

I had got invited to go to Coachella probably two months before Coachella actually happened. So I was aware of it well in advance. I knew that I was able to go and I knew that I was able to bring six or seven people with me. Immediately, I had already known my girls that I was bringing, my sister, Kristen, my best friend, Sally. Like we had all been to Coachella the year prior. We have not stopped talking about it the whole year. We have a Coachella group chat together and

I knew I wanted them to come and you know, then I have these other spots to fill where I'm like, ooh, like am I bringing Braxton? Am I not bringing Braxton? Would this be fun? Would Braxton want to go? The more that I thought about it and just how like my life has been recently, I've been very grateful to

go on a lot of trips with broxton like i went on a family vacation recently he came we've done a lot of things together since he's been in the off season and been off work and it's been very nice to travel together but i think there's something to be said about doing something with your boyfriend and doing something with just your friends and of course they can coexist and live in the same realm and broxton and my friends and my family all get along very very well but i just think there's a difference of

a girl strip vibe versus a girl strip plus someone significant other there. And I'm not saying that's a bad thing at all. I'm just saying there is a difference. Like, there is a realm in which maybe people don't feel as comfortable. You know, we're not going to all be running around naked in front of my boyfriend. Or maybe people don't want to share intimate things or stories over the dinner table. And when I was thinking about what I wanted for Coachella, I really wanted it to feel like the vibe exactly how it did of like,

We're all going out together. We're having fun. We're falling asleep in bed. Like I wanted to spend time with my friends and not feel like there was anything holding me back from being with them. Like I don't want to go in the room with my boyfriend and feel awkward like they can't come in at any time. Like I really wanted it to be a fun friends trip and I don't think there's anything wrong with that.

But at the same time, that's also something that I communicated to Braxton like immediately as I was invited to Coachella. We had a conversation. I sat down with him and I was like, listen, I don't want you to be offended in any type of way. Like, I love you so much. And of course, I want to experience everything with you in life and do everything together.

But I do want to bring my girlfriends on this trip. And like, I don't know, I feel like it would be a fun time to just have quality girl time and sister time and be with my friends. And I just don't know if having a significant other there is like...

the right time and place. And I said to him, I really just wanted to take this weekend, like have it be a really fun girls trip. I do so much with Braxton and it's so amazing, but I just really wanted to take this time to like be with my friends and be able to experience Coachella with them. And he completely understood it. And he's also getting ready to go back to work right now. They're working out. They're about to start their

training again, or actually they did start their training a little bit. So, you know, he is working on that as well. And maybe a Coachella bender wouldn't have been the best thing for him anyways. But I just think there's such a difference when you're communicating with someone versus just

Leaving things unsaid, and that's where I think things in a relationship can get a little tricky, a little murky. If this was two weeks before Coachella and Braxton's like, oh, are we going? What are your plans? And I had said, oh, you know, I'm just bringing my friends. I don't know, whatever. That would have been weird, and he probably would have been like, what's going on? Why don't you want me there? But

First thing, like right off the bat, I had a conversation with him and I was like, I love you to death. I love you so much. I want you in every experience in my life. But I just feel like this would be a really fun girls trip. And I want to make sure that I'm being...

available to my friends and, you know, spending time with them because I do spend so much time with my boyfriend. And he was like, 100%, I completely get it. Like, don't worry about it. And it wasn't weird at all. Granted, now there is the whole internet side of things who are like, what are you talking about? Like, this is so toxic. Like, how would you not bring him to every single thing that you do?

And how would you not have him there? Like this is weird I'm, not really sure this means you guys aren't healthy like alex must be in an open relationship She's like cheating on him or something and I feel like we just need to discuss that you can have a life outside of your significant other And that's okay. And I think that's healthy like I have girlfriends and girl time. He has boyfriends and boys time He goes golfing with them all the time. I love that i'm like

Go with him. Go hit that golf ball 40 million times over.

85 times a week and have fun I don't think that like you need to shut down your life when you start dating someone and I think there's a fun element too of missing each other like you're not suffocating each other all the time like I got back from Coachella and was like oh my god Braxton like give him the biggest hug like we had 10 sleepovers in a row like I missed him and I wanted to see him and I think that that's fun I don't think you need to suffocate each other all the time and I think it's good sometimes to

have some breathing room, have some space, have some girl time, have some boy time. And speaking of suffocating each other, there is something that I cannot stand when people get into a relationship. We've all had the friend, right? Best friend, love her to death, gets a boyfriend, and you never see her. It's like she disappears and then they break up and she's like back and she's like, oh my god, I didn't even realize I was so absent. Like, that is my worst nightmare.

starting to date someone going completely off the grid like only hanging out with that person forgetting I have friends forgetting that I had a life of my own and I think that's very easy to happen if you don't kind of like set boundaries and stick up for yourself and I think that this is a good topic for girls to listen and understand because you grow up just

wanting to be in a relationship and seeing this love and being like, wow, that's so amazing and thinking that that's everything when in reality you can want that and have that but still have a life of your own. I think it's all about balance and that's something that I've had to work on a lot in this relationship because this is the first relationship that I feel like I'm taking like very seriously. Not that I haven't in the past, but I don't know. Like I really...

Love braxton and oh, I have such a hard time like Being emotional and saying those things so i'm cringing at myself right now But I really do take this relationship seriously and I feel like in the past It was easy for me to just be like, oh i'm with my girls like whatever but I really want to make this relationship work and be The healthiest possible. So I think it's all about having some girl time and

I'm going out to dinners with my friends. I'm spending time with them. And when I'm doing that, Braxton's going out to dinners with his friends. He's going golfing with them, you know, doing whatever guys do. And it's fine. Like, I like that. I feel like it's a little weird if I had a partner that never wanted to, like, hang out with guys or do anything alone. Like, I would be like, are you okay? Like, is your life just...

dedicated to like stalking me I don't know like it feels a little bit much for me I I think it's

important and attractive when they have something else going on and they have their own people that they like to hang out with and there are so many moments that I go out with my friends and Braxton and sometimes he also brings his friends and they all get along it's so much fun we have the best time even like ultra it was Braxton and his friends and I brought all my friends and everyone just like mixes so well gets along and

There's never any weirdness there. This past weekend in Miami, Braxton hosted a barbecue. We were going to BB's Barbecue for literally all my friends at his house. And it was literally just Braxton and...

10, 11 of my girlfriends in Miami and we had so much fun and like they all love Braxton. They all love going to Braxton's house and hanging out with him and Braxton doesn't judge me for that. Like he doesn't make me feel crazy for still wanting to have those moments with my friends and that's not always been the case for me. I actually in my last relationship had a really, really tough time with that and

you know when they just belittle you? Like, they make you feel stupid and try and make you feel like, oh, you're a little kid. And maybe I guess that's because I usually date guys who are a little older and there's usually a little bit of an age gap. But Braxton never makes me feel, like, beneath him or crazy because I want to hang out with my friends. Like,

Last year my senior year of college when I was in this relationship with baseball boy My friends were hosting a friendsgiving dinner and we had done this all four years of college. It was like Really top-notch we would all make meals bring it together and our friendsgiving were just always the best and this was my senior year of college So I really wanted to do it. I really wanted to be with my friends I was like, this is our last friendsgiving that we're gonna do all together. This is so fun and

and baseball boy's friend had a wedding that same weekend, and our flight was that Thursday, and the wedding activities or whatever didn't really start until Friday night. So when he had booked this flight, it had been on the Thursday, and I was like, you know what? Let me just see if I can move my flight to Friday morning because I have Friendsgiving with my friends, and I really want to go. I think it would be super fun.

fun. I don't want to miss out on my last ever college Friendsgiving with all my girls while we're all living in one place. You would have thought that I had just delivered the worst news in the entire world to this man because the way that he reacted, like, I...

don't even know how to put into words he was basically like are you kidding me are you that immature that you need to have a friendsgiving with your friends like this is so ridiculous like what are you five years old that you need to do the stupid friendsgiving it's a meal oh I remember he said this and I freaked out

He was like, you're having a meal together. What's the difference of this meal than any other meal? I'm like, um, because it's Friendsgiving, bitch. I don't know. Like, it was so ridiculous to the point where I was like, I'm not even missing anything. Like, I can fly 12 hours later and it would be no problem. I'm not missing any of the wedding that I'm coming to for you with your friend. And he was so...

mad at me for asking to even switch my flight. It's not even like I told him. I was like, oh, I'm doing this. I was just asking. I was like, is it possible to change my flight? Because he had booked the flights and he did not have it. And I did not go to Friendsgiving my senior year of college. And that's something that I regret to this day because that is a

memory with my friends and I missed out on it for someone who literally like wasn't even nice to me and I just wanted to you know be a good girlfriend and make him happy and I wasn't standing up for myself and I feel so stupid now looking back on that but I've learned from that and I would never do that again which is why I get very I guess protective about

missing out on things with my friends when it comes to a guy because it's like you never know if they're gonna turn around and just like be the worst and then you're gonna look back and be like wow like I really should have spent time with my friends instead of just listening to my boyfriend and ditching them so ladies if he is ever trying to make you feel bad or stupid about wanting to do something with your friends that is a red flag that is a no we are moving on we are not tolerating that and

And another part that played into that and played into him kind of like belittling me was our age gap. And Braxton and I have...

good age gap. Like I think it's decent age gap. He's 28. I'm 23 and there's nothing wrong with that. In fact, I love someone who's a little older and more mature than the guys my age. But the problem with that is you're just at different points in your life. And you know, I'm fresh, just graduated college. He's been out of college for five years. Like there's just a difference in

where people are at in their lives and the normalcy of things going on. And that's been something that we've had to kind of like take into account and work on. So to put this into a little bit of a perspective,

My friends out of all, I don't know, 13, 14 of my girlfriends, I'm the only one with a boyfriend. Everyone's single, living their lives, and I'm the one who's like in a relationship. Whereas Braxton's friends, they're all pretty much in a relationship or they're engaged or they're married or they're getting married.

Like this summer with Braxton, we're going to like three different weddings so far already. And my friends this summer are hanging out by the pool having a darty. And there's nothing wrong with that difference. There just is a little bit of an undeniable difference in where people are at in their lives. And that's okay. And I think honestly, it would be really easy for me to kind of just...

be a little bit more mature and kind of fit into Braxton's life and do these things that it seems like

older couples, older people are doing. Like they're hanging out. It's all like, you know, couples dates and couples dinners and couple-y things where like my age, like no one's really doing that. You know, they're like on hinge trying to find a guy and can't. So I don't know. There's just a difference there. And it is easy to just kind of subject myself to that and be like, oh, okay. Like I'm with Braxton. This is my life. But I don't want to lose

lose my 20s and lose being with my friends for all of these like big crucial moments but I also want to be with Braxton and want to be in this relationship and I know I'm making this seem like this is like a big issue in our relationship that he's older than me and it's actually like not at all but it is just when giving context into our relationship and how we make things work and why we do the things we do that is like one of the reasons and I

We make this work and I know it sounds really, really simple and really stupid, but all by communication. I have never had such clear communication with anyone in my life besides Braxton. Like we just lay it all out on the table. We talk to each other and he talks to me in like a calm manner. Like we get everything just sorted out, cleared out. We just talk about it. And the way that Braxton talks to me is so...

and respectful and nice. Even if we're having a conversation where one of us is like heated at the other one, it always stays just like calm

calm and respectful and we just try and talk about it because I'm someone who gets very defensive like if you come at me like you are raising your voice or using a tone towards me I will put a wall up so high that you will never reach me or any of my emotions like I will become such a stuck up bitch that you will never get anything through to me like I get so defensive so the fact that he like

is very calm, easy to talk to. It allows me to like be vulnerable and talk back to him and not put up that like defensive wall that I usually do. And I will say this is crazy, but I have been in therapy for months now and it's because I'm trying to be the best version of myself for Braxton. Because I feel like this is the first relationship I've been in where

I don't know, like, I feel like I need to, like, be better and I want to learn how to be the best girlfriend that I can be. In other relationships, it was always just like, ugh, like, they're shitty, like, whatever, like, I guess this is gonna end or they were doing something wrong to the point where I was like, oh, I'm, like, the perfect one over here and being with Braxton has made me realize how...

I don't know, like healthy he is and normal and nice. And I was like, damn, I got some work to do.

But I just like I really want to be the best girlfriend that I can be and that's not in a way I don't want this to get confused because I think girls get really confused about this I'm, not just saying yes to him and yes to everything He wants and not standing up for myself and agreeing with him like that's not what i'm saying Being a good girlfriend is i'm saying being a good girlfriend is and you know respecting each other and

healthy communication and just being there for him as much as he is there for me. I'm listening to him and genuinely just like understanding how he feels and caring about him. And in the past, I probably would have said like, oh,

well, he's so nice. He gets me flowers or he takes me to dinner and he opens the car door for me or, you know, he got me this nice present. And I would have thought that that's what like a boyfriend really caring about me meant and what that's like what this princess treatment was. But that's just not true at all.

I actually saw this girl on TikTok talking about this and she was like, that's not the princess treatment that I want or that I'm talking about. Like I have learned so much from being with Braxton that my perspective on this has completely shifted in what a good boyfriend is. It's someone who like emotionally like gets you and can talk to you and is respectful towards you. And someone, I don't know, just I have so much fun with Braxton doing nothing. Like we laugh at the stupidest stuff and...

and we will lay there in bed late night just like,

dying laughing crying I don't know what but like everything we do together is fun and it doesn't have to be some big extravagant thing granted he is very nice and does go out of his way a lot of the time so like plan very nice things for us but that isn't what shows someone cares about you because for some guys I don't know they may have the credit card and just swipe it and like that takes no effort for them to do that being emotionally available and compatible with someone is just

different level of like a good connection and a good relationship and I truly feel like I have that with Braxton. We really have the best time together even if it's for five minutes during the day getting coffee and honestly a lot of the times where we have really fun moments are like before we're going to bed or waking up in the morning because we do have such crazy schedules that it's not like we really get to spend all day every day together anyways and I

you know, balancing our work and our relationship has been not tricky, but that's been something that we've had to figure out. Because we do spend some time apart, you know, especially a lot during the days, we honestly aren't that on top of each other of, like, nagging each other with texts all day. Personally, I'm a really bad texter. Like,

If you text me, I probably won't see it, probably won't answer. Braxton's texted me before and been like, you're gorgeous, like, I love you. And he's like, hello. And I was like, oh my God, I didn't even see that. But we honestly love to catch up on like calls or FaceTimes and you have to trust your partner. Like you have to be able to let them go throughout their day without texting them 105 times,

Being like, hey, where are you? What are you doing? Like, what are you doing at this very second? Like, where are you? Because then I feel like you just don't have that sense of, like, security with your partner. And I've dated someone before where it has been an issue having time apart. And, you know, if I'm going out with my girlfriends, it's like...

where are you what car are you in what are you wearing what are you doing um how long did it take you to get there wait whose apartment are you at and what guys are there and what are they doing and then it turns into them trying to guilt trip me so much into almost leaving to go see them like i can't take this i'm spiraling like you have to come hang out with me if you don't see me right now like you don't love me like you have to leave like i need you like what's going on like that is so like

mentally draining and not fun. And that doesn't mean that like you are a bad person for going out without them. That just means that you have no trust in your relationship where that person can't let you go out and let you live for a little bit. Like Braxton and I are totally fine of like not

not bombarding each other the whole time. Even when I was at Coachella, every morning we checked in, every night, and I will say because I do travel a lot, every time before I go to bed, I always call Braxton. And granted, most of the times I'm getting back, it's like 5 a.m. or 6 a.m. He always picks up the phone. He always answers. And if he doesn't, at least I tried. I give him a message. I text him, let him know I'm home safe and I love him. But I always call him when I get back. And I think there's just a form of like,

respect and he just likes to know like I made it home. Okay, but he's sleeping. He's sound asleep. He has been Snoozing he's in rem. He's not worried about like what i'm doing at every single exact moment tracking me like freaking out like he's sleeping He knows when I get home i'll call him and we just have that level of respect with each other and neither of us have done anything to break that level of trust and i'm someone who like

It takes me a long time to trust someone. And I think I talked about this in the early episode when I started dating Braxton in the end of NFL Man.

I talked about how I like start someone's trust with zero and then I can build it up to like a hundred. But like everyone when I meet them starts with zero because I just have no hope, no faith in men. Sometimes I'm like, you all suck. But Braxton, he's like gotten very high up there and he keeps growing. So we'll see. He hasn't done anything to lose my trust yet, but he is proud of me. And this past offseason, so Braxton plays football. I

Okay, NFL man, and he hasn't really been able to come see me do things at work or photo shoots or campaign days because he had been playing football all day every day in practice and in the offseason he's like I really want to like watch you in action. I want to watch you work like I want to see what you're doing and

Our schedules have never really lined up and allowed for that, but we recently went to LA together and I was shooting the cover of Flaunt magazine and I was so excited for it. He was like, you know what, Alex, like, can I come to this shoot day? Like, I really want to see you do this. This is going to be so epic, like blah, blah, blah. And I was like, yeah, like, of course, come. Now, if you're not familiar with the cover of this magazine that I shot, I was topless in it.

no top on it was just like my hands on my nipples like we were just out and about having a good day and the day of this photo shoot it was a long day there was a lot of different looks with clothes on this just happened to be the only one that was like partially nude and braxton had a meeting that morning he came a little bit late and the second that he pulls up of course i knew this was gonna happen

He pulls up immediately when I'm topless standing in the road with this ice dripping down my boobs and I'm completely topless. And that's what he pulls up to. And I was like, hey, like, welcome to watching me work. How are you?

Of course, like I knew that was gonna happen I knew the second that they whipped out that photo inspo and they were like let's do this I was like braxton's gonna pull up right in the middle of this and be like What is that naked girl doing and he loved it and he supported me all the way through He was actually standing there while we took the cover photo for the magazine And that's another thing that i'll see online a lot of the times people are like, oh

How does your boyfriend let you do that? Or how is he letting you pose in a bikini on Instagram? Like, how dare he? Like, he really just puts up with so much. Like, ugh, like, you put him through the wringer. Like, he's like, blah, blah, blah. He actually loves me and thinks I look hot. Thank you. I don't know. Those are types of things where my job is a little bit different and

And sometimes people don't really understand that, especially when I come on here and I'm talking about like, oh, like this ex-boyfriend or he did that or he did this. And people are like, how is she sitting here talking about another guy disrespecting her boyfriend like that?

It's my job. Like I podcast, I make content about my life. I think it would be a little bit different and I would be on your guy's side if all of a sudden I just post up online one day and I'm like, this boyfriend, like blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Like if that was not my job, that would be, I admit, a little bit weird to do. It would be like,

What is she doing? Can she stop? But my job is posting about my life and talking about my life and sharing experiences. And that's a lot. It's a lot for me, but it can also be a lot for a partner. And I think that's something that not everyone would be able to

maybe tolerate or like or understand but Braxton does and he gets it and we have a really good relationship with that and speaking of this photo shoot for flaunt magazine we actually filmed the behind the scenes of this all day and I haven't been able to show you guys yet because

the magazine had not come out yet so I kind of had to like save this footage and wait but I want to play for you guys right now the vlog and the behind the scenes of this if you're not watching this maybe you want to wait and turn it on when you can watch it because this is what the behind the scenes of shooting a magazine spread cover looks like and it was really really exciting day so here is how we shot my topless cover for Flop magazine

This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never going to happen.

quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar, at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts every three seconds on the app.

and the time it takes you to get a drink. You could have already met your special someone. So don't overthink it. Open Tinder and take a chance on romance. No matter how your journey starts, you may join the millions of relationships that started thanks to Tinder. Explore all of the possibilities for yourself. Tinder, it starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today. This episode is brought to you by Mejuri. You know, I had a thought the other day. Since Rwanda jewelry becomes something we only bought on special occasions.

Mejuri approaches fine jewelry a little bit differently. Each one of their pieces is handcrafted by jewelers committed to quality craftsmanship as well as ethical and sustainable jewelry production. Created by women for women, Mejuri is breaking down barriers in what has long been an exclusive and occasional category of men buying for women.

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- You okay? - Good to see you again. How are you? - We're gonna start with this like, Miu Miu dress. - Okay, cool. - I have a bunch of bikinis. This is one that I have. - Oh my god, this is so fun. I love those! - I wanna use these. - Wow. - We're about ready to get going. I saw some denim booty shorts in there, which I'm excited to maybe try on and shoot in. I wish this was my everyday hair. Look number one.

First shot done. That was quick and easy and fun. Gorgeous. Try not to fall. We're in our denim booty shorts, baby! Time to dance in the wind and let the boobies fly. Let the boobies fly, babe. This is so sexy! Give it a little that it got.

We just went up and down the Pacific Coast Highway with me hanging out the back and the cars were honking at us naked on the highway

Surprise! My eyebrows are gone. Love. Love. Yeah. It's perfect. Also, if my nipples come out, tell me because they're peaking. But you feel comfortable? Yeah, of course. Cool. Just another day at the grocery store. On to the gas station.

Next to look don't look scary with these eyebrows mama Look at me

We're doing what we're not supposed to do, having a cigarette at the gas station. We're not lighting it because I don't want to blow up, but I'm just like... We're about to put on a necklace that's made out of ice. It's going to be freezing, and I'm taking my top off. Oh, lordy. Here we go. Oh, my God. Oh, my God.

We're just drinking out of this seashell. I hope it's clean. It's just clean. I promise. Oh yes. It's like the Loch Ness Monster is coming back. My shoes are filled with water. Woo!

We are now in the last look. I'm gonna go hang out the window and we're gonna try and recreate this Kate Moss photo and I'm so happy it was on the mood board for this photo shoot because it's been like this photo that I saw on Pinterest for so long so I'm so excited to try and recreate this and then we're done. Oh my god. Shake it out, smile, laugh, shake it out. Even somebody who's holding her like hop out a little bit. So good. Gorgeous, Alex. Fab, we got it. Surprise!

We're done! We made it! Now we're going to Nobu, Malibu. Braxton, did you bring my dress? Yeah, it's in the car. Do you want it now? Yeah. Thanks. You're welcome. Good job. Thank you. We just finished, uh...

long day but a good day we did about nine looks today we really put a lot in we thought we were gonna do like four or six looks but we did nine we were just having a lot of fun everyone was such good energy braxton came to this photo shoot today this is first braxton's first time watching me in a photo shoot

Braxton? Yes ma'am? I'm still working on his knot. Oh okay, he's unknotting my necklace for me. I forgot. But now we're gonna go to dinner, we're gonna have some sushi, we're meeting up with some other friends and we're gonna have a good night.

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Before we end this episode, we're going to go into some what would Alex do questions where you guys write in, I give you my advice, and, you know, maybe it's not the best advice, but it's what Alex would do. Wait.

No. If you like them and you want to wear them, then wear them. I would probably freak out. Like, I'm trying to think if my boyfriend was like, that's so ugly, I hate them. I would be like, I hate you. What would I do? I honestly would just respectfully...

say, well, I'm gonna keep wearing them. If you don't like them, then that's your problem. Keep wearing the baggy jeans, girl. Whoa.

Okay, so you're obsessed with this guy, you tell your friends all the time, and then he asks your friend to formal and she says yes. Uh-uh. No, no, no. Not a good friend. I would freak out, but I don't know if I would, like, freak out to her face. I... No, yes, I would. I think I would talk to her and say, um, you know I've been talking about him all the time. What are you doing? See what she has to say, but honestly...

it's like she's gonna give you some excuse and say oh well um he needed a date and i'm his friend so i wanted to go with him i don't know like i didn't think it was that big of a deal i'm not gonna get with him uh yeah i honestly though probably just like wouldn't be her friend anymore or i would like really distance myself from that person because that is not a good friend

You don't want girlfriends that are gonna steal your guys from you. Ooh, okay. This one's very on theme with this episode. Okay, well, first of all, I think you need to sit down and have a conversation with him.

and not in an alarming way but maybe just maybe his name's Jimmy say Jimmy you know I really feel like I've been missing out on hanging out with my girlfriends and they've been doing all this stuff and I'm not there and I know we've been spending a lot of time on the weekends together but I

I honestly really just want to spend some time with them and I hope that's not a problem because it's making me feel like I'm losing my friends and becoming distant with them because I'm not there for those personal fun moments that they're having together. And hopefully Jimmy respects you and is like, oh my gosh, I completely understand that.

But if he doesn't, that's where I would, I don't know, like I get a little bit stressed out about that because I do think it's important to still nurture your friendships with your girlfriends while you have a boyfriend. In fact, I think that's very important because

at the end of the day, if things go south with you and Jimmy, like, who are you going back to at the end of the day? Your girlfriends. They're going to be the ones that you are crying on their shoulder, talking to them and confiding in them. And you don't want to break up with your boyfriend and then be like, oh, my God, like,

I have to go cry to my friends that I haven't seen in a year and a half because I ditched them because I had a boyfriend. So I definitely think it's important to talk to him about wanting to spend more time with your girlfriends. And I don't think that that's bad. And I think there's a moment and a time and place for everything. You can do things with your girlfriends. You can do things with your boyfriend. And then you can also do things where you're all together and all going out together and all having a fun time.

Well, that is all for this week's episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earl. Don't forget to like, subscribe, follow this podcast wherever you're watching, listening to. I love you guys so much. Earl girls, you are the best. I will see you next Thursday for another episode. Bye.

Listen up, you naughty little pelicans. It's Harry Jowsey here, host of the new video podcast, Boyfriend Material. Dating, sex, and relationships in your 20s, it's messy, confusing, and sometimes you just want the male perspective. That's where Boyfriend Material with Harry Jowsey comes in. Every Tuesday, I'll let you in on what the male brain is thinking, breaking down all of your relationship questions and situations, and giving you honest advice on them all.

Watch Boyfriend Material with Harry Jarzy every Tuesday here on Spotify. You know, you might potentially land the guy of your dreams or the red flag, but there's no judgment here. Follow Boyfriend Material with Harry Jarzy on Spotify.