21st Birthdays: Puking, Crying & Stripping
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Welcome back to another episode of Hot Mess with Alex Earle. We are in New York City this week for my little sister, Ashton, her 21st birthday. And if there's one thing about me, I love birthdays. I know some people hate birthdays. They're like, I don't want to celebrate mine. I don't even want to think about the day. I love birthdays and I'm

I think I'm pretty good at planning birthdays and my little sister pawned it on me to plan her whole entire 21st birthday. She was like, you set this up, you figure it out, you plan what we're doing, you plan who's coming. And I feel like that's the dynamic that we've always had, Ashton and I, ever since we were little.

even going to like dance competitions I feel like I was just so stressed and worried that she wouldn't even have what she was supposed to pack or order and I would just do everything for her and she's pretty good at knowing that like if she doesn't do something I'll pick it up and do it for her because it'll stress me out and she kind of uses that to her advantage at some point so maybe she's using me a little bit on this one but I had fun really planning out her birthday trip

Originally, we were going to go to New Orleans because that's where she goes to college, Tulane. But then I ended up coming to New York City this weekend for work and the brand that I was working with offered me a suite at Olivia Rodrigo for the Guts Tour. And if you know anything about me, I love her and I already went to her concert. It was

so good and amazing. And Ashton's also such a fan. So I was like, oh, hey, Ashton, like, would you want to come to New York for this weekend? And then it just happened that she was like, okay, let's do my 21st birthday in New York. She was like, that's just a little bit more exciting than New Orleans because she goes out there all the time and

I mean, she's never gotten into a bar before and she's never had a drink before. So we are having her first sip of alcohol this weekend in New York City. We have a lot planned and I'm really excited for this one because 21 is such a fun milestone birthday. I think like there

There's, you know, sweet 16 is exciting. Then like 18, you're like, oh, I'm an adult. I feel like 21 though is really like, okay, I can do everything now. So on this episode, I'm going to talk about what we're doing for Ashton's 21st birthday, what my 21st birthday was like and how I view birthdays. Maybe we'll do some like birthday ins and outs, like what's kind of cringy to do on your birthday, or at least from my opinion.

And then we're also going to vlog some of the going out, Ashton's first night at a club. So it's going to be a lot of fun. Before we get into this, don't forget to like, follow, subscribe to Hot Mess. It means the world to me.

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This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never a

quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar, at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts

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This episode is brought to you by Liquid IV. It is hot out this summer. It is actually absurdly hot out and you don't have to be an athlete like Braxton to get the sweat going working outside training. I'm sweating walking to the car, walking down the road. People are taking zoom meetings on their porch sweating and you need to replace that sweat with hydration. I personally love Liquid IV. They have three times the electrolytes of the leading sports drink plus eight vitamins and nutrients for everyday wellness. Liquid IV hydrates two times faster than water alone.

If any of you were listening to one of the episodes where I said I had a panic attack this summer, it's because my body was so dehydrated. It was run down, didn't feel good. The boat captain actually had to bring me out a liquid IV to put in my water because I was feeling so nauseous. That just truly shows my love for liquid IV and how much they do. They're so amazing. They have a bunch of flavors to choose from and, you know, take it to the beach with you. Make sure you're staying hydrated this summer. So grab your liquid IV.

hydration multiplier sugar-free in bulk nationwide at Costco or you can get 20% off when you go to liquidiv.com and use code HOTMESS at checkout. That's 20% off anything you order when you shop better hydration today using promo code HOTMESS at liquidiv.com. Like I said, Ashton is a princess.

She knows that I will do everything for her. She was like, you know what? You're gonna plan my birthday for me and she knows that I'll do it. Friday night, we have a dinner which will be all of her friends. This is the day she kind of gets in and then my family's also gonna come with the little siblings from New Jersey. So that'll be a lot of fun. And then Saturday, she...

loves like vintage shopping or like thrifting she's really good at that i'm personally so terrible at that that it's it's not even funny anytime i try thrift shopping i come back and i spent like 80 on this stupid tank talk that i'm like oh it's cool because it's vintage and it's actually like so ugly and not cool at all so i personally don't really have an eye for vintage stuff and like thrift shopping ashton does so she planned this place it's called like treasures of new york city

for Saturday morning, and then we're going to go to a suite at Madison Square Garden for the Guts Tour, which is going to be a lot of fun with all of her friends. And this is a surprise. She doesn't know this yet, but we're going to be taking a party bus there, which I love a party bus. Like sometimes I think party buses are more fun than the actual party. After the concert, her special request, because Saturday night, midnight,

Going into Sunday is going to be her birthday. Like, she's officially 21 at midnight Saturday night. So, we're going to be going to this place called The Box. And I feel like I've talked about this before on Hot Mess or at least maybe on my TikTok. But this club, Ashton and I actually have been together twice now, which is kind of scary and alarming, honestly, that we've been two times in the past, like, eight months. But we love The Box. It is a club where they have this...

sex show type of risque. I mean, I don't know how to like describe what they do, but basically think you're at a club, right? Every 40 minutes, there's a show. You sit down, there's a show, and these are like sex shows, but like naked people. Like for example, a girl was like popping eggs out of her hoo-ha one time. There's like some weird liquids. I

It's like really weird and kind of messed up and kind of makes you really nauseous when you're there, but it's also really really fun So that was ashton's special request for her 21st birthday and then sunday morning. We're gonna have a brunch I'm gonna go back to miami. She's gonna go back to school I feel like while we're on the topic of 21st birthdays i'm gonna tell you guys about my 21st birthday I think you're either a birthday diva or you don't care and i'm someone who i'm like the whole month is my birth month like We're gonna do a whole weekend of activities

I love birthdays. I think they're a lot of fun. I know people really don't care, but I'm someone who loves my birthday. So for my 21st birthday, we were in Miami. I stayed in Miami and we went to this place called Kiki on the River. That's actually in one of Drake's songs. He's like, text you back. She at Kiki on the River.

It definitely sounds nothing like that, but you probably know what i'm talking about Maybe but I remember being so stressed out about my outfit I think I didn't like what I had so I went to the mall with my friends like three hours before we had to like start getting ready for my birthday and I found this dress. I was like, oh my god, I love it But it was like too big on me and obviously I didn't have any time to get it tailored I was like, you know what? We're still gonna buy the dress and we're gonna make this work and my friend sally

Literally took safety pins. I have to show you guys videos of this because she took safety pins and safety pinned the whole bottom of my dress we just like Handmade tailored it because we didn't have time or the resources or anything to like get this dress tailored how I needed it to be and honestly The safety pins ended up working out just fine and it also balled out for my 21st birthday I remember it was a really big deal. I hired like a

professional photographer to come to our pregame and take photos. I'm someone who I, you know, once I get a good photo, I'm like, all right, now we can have fun. But if I know that I didn't get a good photo in the outfit or with my friends, I'll just kind of be like stressed out about it the whole night. And I know that sounds like really shallow and weird and annoying, but

I want a cute Instagram to post on my birthday. I'm not sorry about it. I didn't want to have to like yell at like my sister or any of my friends. So I honestly just hired a photographer and he came and something about photographers, like when they take photos of you, they just come out so much better because it's so like high quality. It's not like flash on an iPhone. So it honestly took like 20 minutes. We did pregame and then we went to this dinner. And of course, 21st birthday dinners, we're drinking a lot. Like I was very excited to be there.

all my friends at this big table and it was one of these dinners that it turns into like a little club at this party. We had like this big buffet of food at the table spread out everywhere. There was like seafood towers and when you're like engulfing all this food and then also taking tequila shots at the same time, it's just like a recipe for disaster and I feel like this happens a lot at birthday dinners where it's like

okay we're gonna eat all this food and then we're gonna go out and everyone ends up getting sick after the dinner we went out to this club and there was this guy there that i used to talk to

and he had this big bottle of tequila. He was like, oh my god, let me like pour this in your mouth. Happy birthday, like 21, whatever. I'm already like really drunk at this point and probably should have said no. Like there was no reason I needed to take a huge gulp from this tequila bottle, but I was like, it's my 21st birthday, like what can go wrong? I'm like opening my mouth, he pours the tequila in and you just, you know, when like your eyes start watering, it's like your mouth starts watering, you're like, oh my god, this is not going well.

and I'm standing around his table that he has and he's with him and like all his fancy friends. I was like, I don't want to like puke in front of these people. So I quickly like run around and this is like in like 0.5 seconds. I was like, oh my God, I sprinted to the bar. I knelt down under the bar and I just like puked up all the tequila under the bar on the floor. So at that point of my 21st birthday, I was like, it's time to go home.

And then this is something I weirdly do on all my birthdays, but we get in the car to go home. I'm in like the backseat of the Uber and I just like felt the need to take off my dress. Like I literally stripped down butt naked. I'm sleeping on the seat. I'm like, oh, like whatever. And I don't know like why I did that. And I ended up also doing that on my 22nd birthday, which is the story of the puke dress.

And I feel like I also need to clear my name on that and tell you guys the behind the scenes of how I ended up with a dress covered in puke in my closet a year after I actually got sick and puked on it. So maybe some of you have no idea what I'm talking about right now, but some of you may have an idea. Back in December, I was cleaning out my closet. I was like, you know, it's time to like get rid of some clothes. And I'm swiping through my dresses. I get all the way to the back and I was like, oh,

Oh my gosh, there's this dress that I wore on my 22nd birthday, so a whole year ago, and I puked on it on my 22nd birthday, and it's hanging in my closet. And I thought it was hilarious because I was like, what are the odds of this? That's disgusting and crazy. So of course, I posted it on TikTok, and I don't know when I'm going to learn to stop oversharing because people were

literally, like, you are a disgusting human being. Like, she has no hygiene. She is gross. They were pulling up, like, old podcast clips. They were like, she also peed through her costume on Halloween. You know what? I have just been having a fun time, and sometimes that happens. Like, I'm sorry. I'm sure one of you have either, like, peed your pants or puked before, and you just don't want to say it, and I probably shouldn't be sharing it on the internet.

But I am and I did and literally still to this day Alex Earl hygiene is the search bar on all my tiktoks and i'm like enough like I am clean I shower I smell good. Like I I don't know how I need to like prove it that i'm not disgusting but

I'm gonna tell you guys how that puke dress ended up in my closet because it's not as disgusting as it may have seemed. So for my 22nd birthday, I balled out, I got this retrofit dress. It was like knit with some sparkles on it and it was like a really fancy dress, almost kind of the texture of like a knit coverup. So it was like a mesh see-through type of vibe.

and I got naked in the back of the car on my 22nd birthday. I got a little sick, okay? And I puked on myself a little bit. So you know what, it happens, we move on. And I remember when I got back to my house, I put it in this bag and it was in the corner of my room. And I was like, I need to get this dry cleaned because I don't wanna throw this dress out. It was so nice and so expensive. Now, this was my last semester of my senior year of college.

I was really busy running around and I honestly just kind of like left this bag in the corner of my room. It didn't like smell or anything. So it's fine. I didn't know it was there and it was just hiding in the corner the whole time, my whole last semester of college. Anyways, I graduate and I'm like, oh my God, I never got this dress dry cleaned. And I still like, I don't want to throw this dress out. It's so expensive and nice. So I took it with me when I moved to my new apartment, still in the same like shopping bag that I threw it in after I wore it.

Now, when I moved into my new apartment, I hired like organizers and cleaners to come hang everything up. And now I must have been out of the room when these organizers or cleaning lady, I'm not really sure who did it, but someone took that dress out of the shopping bag and hung it up in my closet. Now, clearly, if they're hanging it up in my closet, it's not like it was like disgusting, like you didn't really know. There was just a little bit of puke on there. And I had no idea because I just...

I didn't hang it up. I had absolutely no idea this was hanging in my closet. So that's why when I was shuffling through and ruffling through my dresses, cleaning everything out, and I saw my puke dress, I was like, there is no way that is hanging in my closet because I obviously didn't put that in my closet. I'm not that filthy and unhygienic, but I thought it was funny. And if you don't think it's funny, then...

I don't know. This story is not for you. But yeah, that's the behind the scenes of my puke dress. And I have had a pretty good reputation of like getting naked on my birthday every year. Maybe Ashton will get naked tonight with the people on the show. And I'm just so excited because this is her 21st. Like we have to go balls to the wall tonight. And I'm really scared because I feel like I've gotten to a place where...

I obviously I go out a lot, but I don't like to, you know, drink until I like blackout. I feel like that was much more like that happened in college, like getting so sickly and ill that you're drinking so much alcohol. But honestly, tonight.

in a safe way, we are going to drink a lot and I'm scared and not looking forward to tomorrow. I feel like we should go over some birthday ins and outs, some things that I think are okay, some things I think aren't okay, but I think we should pull Ashton in here, the birthday girl or the soon to be birthday girl and have her take on these with me. And I also wanna hear about like how excited she is for tonight, what she's thinking, what head space she's in before she's about to turn 21.

and finally be legal to go out and have a drink. ♪ The birthday girl has arrived ♪ ♪ Ashtini, Ashtini ♪

Oh my gosh, it's your birthday Eve. How are you feeling? Feeling great. Feeling like I am about to drink legally for the first time. No, your first drink ever. I can't believe I've never tried alcohol before. Oh my gosh, are you so excited? Are you like, do you... Is it kind of depressing? Yeah, actually, I feel like turning 21, it kind of takes the fun out of going out because you can't really like sneak into places anymore. You're like, oh. Oh, do you birthday cry ever?

Yeah. Do you remember last year? I was in bed all day crying. Birthday cry. Yeah. But some people cry on their birthday. Like Kristen always cries on her birthday.

- But I don't. - She's sad? - It's just like an emotional day. - I'm more so anxious on my birthday. Which is why I keep making you plan my birthdays. 'Cause I hate planning things and then I'm worried about if everyone else is having fun. - That's why I like to plan birthdays though. If someone else planned my birthday for me, I think I would genuinely have a panic attack and like,

fling myself out the window. I need to like have eyes on everything and like know exactly what's going on. And I don't know, like I'm I would say I'm like kind of a fun pusher. You're the definition of a fun pusher. I like need to make sure everyone's having fun and I can't have fun unless everyone else is having fun. That reminds me of like your parties in high school. Oh, my gosh. No, I was a psychopath. Yeah. When we would just drink like

sodas. Sodas. I was like, everyone drink the soda now. Everyone drink because I would get stressed that if people weren't like having fun, I thought it was a lame party and I was afraid of throwing a lame party. Oh, you were determined to have a good party. That was actually a career in high school. I thought my career was going to be a party planner. I wrote like multiple essays and had multiple layouts about how I would be a party planner. Really? Yeah. You do fun things. Yeah, I do. You have good ideas. But

At the end of the day, I don't think that was my calling. No, this is your calling. This is my calling. Staring at yourself all day. My calling is sitting with a microphone and talking about myself.

But it's Ashton's birthday and I, okay. I feel like we should go over some birthday, maybe ins or outs. And I wrote down a few things that I think stick out to me when it comes to birthdays. Okay. I bought this for you and I hope you like it, but a crown and like a birthday sash. I think that if it's your birthday, you should be allowed to strut around in your party city crown and in your party city sash. I fully agree with that. Like, I don't think it's cheesy at all. No, no.

Every birthday girly pop should be wearing a crown. I love it. And I think it's like, I think I like the aspect of it that if I'm wearing a crown, people will probably say happy birthday. Well, you like stand out and it makes you feel special. Yeah, no. Okay. So birthday crowns and sashes are in. Reposting your birthday stories from other people on your Instagram story. I think you can do like,

A few But like If you're just blindly Reposting every single post You're tagged in Like if you're clicking Through like 40 stories If there's some pictures That you're like Oh I love that picture And you want to repost it That's fine Or I think if it's like Your best best friend Or like maybe your sister Or something Mmhmm

I just feel like otherwise it's like enough. No one cares. We get it to your birthday. We don't want to see all the collages. I think we boasting 85 stories for your birthday. It's like we understand people like you and are wishing you a happy birthday. Yeah. In the nicest way possible. But if you do that, I also won't judge you. I just wouldn't do it myself. I agree. Okay.

out tallying shots on your arm like I think some people do that for their 21st or like they'll take like 21 shots yeah or how many like shots they take and like you take a sharpie and do it on your arm

I just like have you ever done that I've never drank before so I don't know I did that once in college and I really look back on it and cringe now because I thought it was really cool and I was walking around the frat party like look at all the tallies on my arm like no one cares how much you're drinking everyone has a different tolerance like I don't think like flexing how much you drink is like cool I thought that was cool so I mean yeah we've all had the moments so that's definitely an out

And in is dyeing your hair red for your birthday. In is a surprise factor. Ashton just walks into my room with box dye for her hair. And she's like, hey, Alex, I just go puffed some gloves. We're going to dye my hair red for tonight. What do you think? And honestly, I like, is it like a Dua Lipa red? Yeah, like a dark. You're so you're so Dua Lipa cool. Can you imagine if I dyed my hair red and walked in the room?

I would look like a clown from Cirque de Salose. Well, if you put red dye...

Circus Soleil. Circus De Los E. No, it wouldn't be for me. That's not my calling. That's Ashton's calling. She's going to surprise everyone tonight with red hair. And maybe we should vlog this in the bathroom. It's going to get messy. Should we dye your eyebrows too? No. So Ashton was like, ooh, maybe I'll get another tattoo for my birthday. She has one tattoo. It says 777 on her arm. Well, your birthday tattoo disappeared. Oh, she did. She got a tattoo. Um.

um did the sun just are the angels shining down on us right now it's the birthday gods the birthday gods are shining down on us we just got 10 shades lighter and brighter but she got a tattoo for my birthday that has a little a on her hand and now it's gone yeah it because you wash your hand so much hygiene so clean so clean and hygienic it just didn't fully get there so you just have one tattoo yeah

And she was like, maybe I'll get another one for my birthday. And I was like, oh my God, like I want to do that with you, your 21st birthday. Like, yes, let's get tattoos. But I would only do, I think, my lip because I'm like deathly afraid of having a tattoo on my body, except I really want a tramp stamp. When I was trying on my Coachella outfits today, I was like, I think a Coachella, I mean, I think a tramp stamp would be my calling for Coachella. I will get a tramp stamp with you. But could we get one that fades? Yeah.

in like a month just get a temporary tattoo but do those look as cool no no but it's because you're not as cool i think tramp stamps are coming in oh i want one so bad i'm like the cool girls have tramp stamps and i don't have one so we need to get one maybe after we go out tonight at the box we'll get a tramp stamp maybe it will encourage if if i get a drunk tramp stamp no run me over no i'll just make you get ashton on your lip

that's what i said i would do yeah i could do my lip tattoos are scary i feel like i have too much of commitment issues to commit to something and be like this is going to be on my body for the rest of my life ever like that's how i think of it i'm like when i'm a grandma am i gonna look and be naked and think like oh my god do i want this i feel like everyone says that but if it's something you just like you like and you put it on you it's a memory

That's like how I think of it. You're like, oh like I got that this time blah blah blah And you just always like have it like it doesn't even have to be aesthetic or something It's just like something. I don't know. I like them. I'm like too Yeah, psychotic and neurotic for that I'm so excited for us to go to the box tonight And I feel like I did kind of a bad job explaining what the box was before like what how would you say?

What the box is. It's a club with a stage. And they always have like a host who will be like, hey, like sexy bitches, like blah, blah, blah. And everyone's naked. Yeah, everyone's naked. They have like dancers going around sometimes. And then usually at a certain time, they'll like have the announcer come out and it's like the first act and the curtains open and there's a whole performance and

And then the curtains close. And they do that throughout the night. And then the curtains close and you're on the verge of throwing up. When we were there, we saw... What did we see exactly the first time? We saw someone pull a flag out of their bum hole. Well, I just remember the shampoo up the butthole. Yeah, don't. And he shot it out at the crowd. Yeah, no. No. And you know what I'm really petrified for tonight is...

Last time we were there, they... So they will, like, come into the audience and, like, touch you or whatever. And, like, I don't know what's going on. I don't know if they're hygienic. I don't want them to know it's my birthday. No. They can't know it's my birthday. No, we must rip off her birthday sash or she will be with... Black pull up her asshole. No, they... Like, last time they pulled this girl from the table that we were with. And I'm still nauseous thinking about this. This poor girl. I hope she's okay. But...

they pulled her up and this guy who's naked pours like some shitty vodka in his mouth like swishes it around and she's like laid down on this little platform and then he spits it into her mouth

I would genuinely puke up my liver, my organ. Like that would... No. I could not... I would start crying. I don't know what's going to happen tonight, but I definitely think we can't draw attention to you. Wait, do you remember also the naked guy when he ran down in the audience? With like an ice bucket? Well, yes, he threw it at me, but that's not what I was going to say. He came down and grabbed one of the guy's faces that was sitting at the table and rubbed his face in between his butt cheeks. Oh.

Oh, oh, okay. So obviously you can't take photos or videos in here because there's some whack shit going on. And this guy in the front row is taking a video of the person on stage and the performer literally takes his phone, chucks it across the room and then bends over backwards. And this was a guy, he grabbed his face and shoved it in between his crack and like was like...

I just remember sitting there in like utter disbelief and then he threw the ice bucket at me. No, I was grabbing onto Ashton. Like I think my acrylics went through her shoulder. I was like, what are we watching right now? But it's the best place on earth. And I wonder how it's like a legal place, but it's really fun. And I don't know, Ashton's some type of freaky girl because this is where she requested we go for her 20 verse. Shut up.

But no, it is really entertaining. You just have to like really be drunk, which is perfect for tonight. Yeah. My first time drinking. Yes. Yay. Yay. When I was in college and Ashton was in high school, obviously I would like sometimes have Ashton visit me and she would come out with me and she would drink a little bit. But as a big sister, and this might sound messed up and backwards to some of you, but in my mind, this is how it works, is...

As a big sister, when she's going off to college, I'm going to be alone. And like, I think some people are so sheltered and then go to college and they're drinking for the first time and they get themselves into trouble or bad situations or make themselves really sick because they don't know like how to handle their alcohol. So for me,

her drinking with me while she was younger made me feel better because i was like at least i can have like an eye on her and then when she went to college she like was okay everyone like knows those people that like when they got to college the people that would just actually just chug those are the people that get into bad situations would end up in horrible situations or like hospitalized or because they've just never been like drank before and they don't have their parents there to like yell at them i'm so grateful you made me drink

I did not make her drink. No, no, no. I'm going to get canceled. Alex forced me to drink alcohol. That's not true. This is not true. I'm kidding. I've been a great big sister. And if anything, I'm always protecting her and looking after her. You are. How is this all your real hair? You're such a bitch. I remember when I used to have hair. I do, too.

No, you used to have like crazy thick hair. No, it's coming back, guys. It's coming back. It's coming back. It's making it come back. It's making it come back. I took a few years off and I'm coming back. But moral of the story is we are going to have the best night ever. And it's 100% going to be better than last year's birthday for Ashton. She was in shambles and tears the whole time. I still had fun, but I was... No crying tonight. So sad. No promises. No promises.

You were quick with that. What? We're going to see Olivia Rodrigo. Oh, we are going to see Olivia Rodrigo before we go out. So that's how she can get her tears out. Wait, you're definitely going to cry at Olivia. Why? I like cried. Is it good? It's really good.

She's really good. She is really good. I'm so excited. I feel like if I was fresh breakup, an Olivia Rodrigo concert would be like the most therapeutic thing you could do. I relived like all 12 of my breakups at that concert. Well, you're just like, no, enough. So anyhow, we are gonna have the best night ever. But right now we need to go dye Ashton's hair and then get ready to go out. Let the birthday celebration begin.

This episode is brought to you by Tinder. We all have a dream of how we'll meet that special someone, right? We think it's going to be this big romantic moment. I'm going to be walking down the side of the road. He's going to see me, think I'm the most beautiful girl he's ever seen, turn right back around, come sweep me off my feet. But that's never a

quite how it happens. I mean, I met my boyfriend at the bar, at a party, you know? I mean, I feel like that's how it happens when you go out. Some of you are still waiting for a meet cute moment to happen, but in reality, you might be more likely to find your meet cute on Tinder. A new relationship starts every three seconds on the app.

and the time it takes you to get a drink. You could have already met your special someone. So don't overthink it. Open Tinder and take a chance on romance. No matter how your journey starts, you may join the millions of relationships that started thanks to Tinder. Explore all of the possibilities for yourself. Tinder, it starts with a swipe. Download Tinder today.

This episode is brought to you by Joiba Bubble Tea. If you're a fan of bubble tea, then you guys have to try this range from Joiba. I've seen this all over my TikTok and personally, my little siblings are obsessed with this Joiba Bubble Tea. They show me videos all the time. So Joiba Bubble Tea, it comes in several delicious flavors.

All right, here we go. Ashton wants to dye her hair red for her birthday. This looks like really red. Are you sure? I'm positive. We got some red...

We can't get you red. That would be scary. Yay! Giving lunch lady core. Hey birthday girls, we're dying our hair for the birthday girls. The birthday girls. Okay, we don't have that much time left. Okay. Oh god! Do you know how to do this? Alex, it's literally a condition. I've done this before. I'm like really scared. Should we put hair ties around the gloves so that it's- I don't think it's gonna be going up our

Well, do you know me? I make a mess of everything. Okay. Wait, please, before you touch that. I really just want to go right in with it. Should we section your hair? We definitely should. Okay, section me. You know, the thing is, I just have a lot of hair. Yeah, that's so annoying. I wish I had hair. It would be so annoying to have a lot of luscious long hair. Oh my god. Ashton! Wait, turn the other way so the camera can see. I'm really scared right now.

I'm not. You're so cool. Of course you're just like cool and doing it. It's gonna come out like all splotchy. I actually used to want to be a hairdresser. So... You've had so many career paths. We've had a lot of different career aspirations. I always wanted to be a professional dancer. Oh, right. Wow, this is really fun. Maybe I'll be a hair artist. Ouch. So beautiful.

Wow. We're Dua Lipa-ifying her. Dua Lipa-ifying. Wait, this is like, how are you supposed to get it like... I know. It's like annoying. Should we have gotten like a hairbrush? This is really hard. You're really making me upset right now. I'm doing better than you could do. Um, bet. Um, bet.

Like, you're so cool. Bet, bet, bet. Bet, bet, bet. Bet, bet, bet. I'm Ashton. I'm betting you with my cool hair. I'm so different and cool. I'm really, like, moisturizing every part of it. Oh, my God. Thank you. What are you missing? I'm not at that part yet. Okay, let's just make sure. And there is that brush thing, too, if you want to use it. Oh, we should definitely use that. Why wouldn't you tell me right now? I forgot. I forgot.

That would be really helpful. Now I have to go in by her face and not touch her face. My birthday will be ruined. Oh my god. I think the brush would be really helpful. Do you want me to get it? Mm-hmm. Opening up the brush with our teeth. Oh my god, please don't break your teeth. No. Well, you can let it go. Okay. What am I supposed to do with this? It's for like getting like the loops.

This is so much better. Really? This is like real hair stylist. Turn around. I've always wanted to use one of these. Don't these feel good? Mm-hmm. I love when I'm bleaching my hair and they like go in and do this. And now on the top. So bed down, like crotch. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah, I know what I'm doing. Oh, and your scalp's gonna be fire red. I cannot believe you're trusting me to do this.

Well, it was either you or me, so... I really don't even know if this is gonna show through. Do you think if mom saw this, she would be really sad and scared? Yeah. If you're gonna do something stupid with your sister... So you're not sure, like, how much is supposed to go on each section? Like, a thin amount, a thick amount? I say the more the better. Really? Yeah. Okay. I did more. Wait, look at your hair. Like, move your head. It, like, stays still.

Now, up, down. I think I might have a little dangle. Okay, come here. Scratch. You're too tall. You're too short. How about that? Ashton. This is definitely not how Dua Lipa hair. I think this is exactly how she looks. Dua Lipa dope. Every hairstylist right now is probably throwing out. Yeah, if you're a hairstylist, don't watch this.

This episode of Hotmas. I have red. I have hair. I have red. I have dye. I have Dua Lipa. I'm like really scared for you. Is it bad that I'm not scared? No. Did you watch a good tutorial on this? No. I'm really scared we're doing this really wrong.

Wait, do we look now how long this has been on for? Nope. How are you feeling? It looks really good. Really? It looks like red. Like I'm looking at you and I see red. Well, because there's red all over it. Um, the counter is a little red. Why would we put it right on the counter? I didn't. You didn't. No, I didn't. How's to fix it? Alex, you're gonna have to buy this hotel room. No! Fix it. Thanks.

This is your idea. Okay. Ashton! I don't know. Well, you need to Google this immediately. Google it! Hey! We both did that. I did not do that. Oh, yeah? Mm-mm. Oh, yeah. Mm-mm. I don't believe that. Mm-mm. We have video evidence, if you do. Help! Baking soda, nail polish remover, rubbing alcohol, vinegar, bleach. Okay, well, now we have to order some special supplies to clean this off the counter. It's gonna come out...

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We made a stop at the New York girls apartment and now we're off to the box!

We're back from New York. We somehow made it out alive. I don't think you guys understand how much fun we had. That was truly the best night ever. I was supposed to get up and podcast Sunday morning after we went out Saturday night, but it was not in the cards for me. It was not happening. I was supposed to get up and podcast Sunday morning after we went out Saturday night,

I guess I haven't been that hungover in a while. We went to brunch for my sister's birthday the morning after. Literally, one of her friends didn't make it. She was very sick, stayed home at the hotel, and we went to brunch. We had a really good time, and the box was a lot of fun. Oh, baby. It was really one of those nights where, you know, I'm having a great time, and I'm just singing. They played great music there, which I love when places do that stuff that you can, like, sing to.

all of a sudden, I'm dancing, I'm talking to these random girls, and I turn around, and the whole table of people that I'm with is just gone. And I was like, wait, hello? Like, where did everyone go? And there's literally two of Ashton's friends there, but there was 15 girls when we first got there, and no one else was at the table. I was like, maybe they all went to the bathroom? And I went over to Ashton's friends, and I was like, where did everyone go? And they were like, oh, they went home, like, they fully left. And I was like, what are you talking about? It's so early, like, what's going on? And they're like, Alex, it's

like almost five in the morning right now. And at that point, I was like, I'm a little bit embarrassed because I was having so much fun and so focused on everyone else having fun that I just was drinking a lot. I was taking them back. And before you know it, it was almost 5 a.m. Everyone else had left. I think I may have been just as drunk as the girls who were just turning 21.

But yeah, that was our calling. I was like, okay, maybe we need to like get out of here. It was a successful weekend though. We had the best time. We were bawling our eyes out at Olivia Rodrigo. I mean, that was really like a therapy session. Now it's time for what would Alex do? Where you guys write in some questions or scenarios and I give you my advice on what

what I would do in that scenario. "My ex-situationship got a new girlfriend who was literally so stunning, but I can't help but compare myself to her and feeling insecure. I'm happy for him because she seems like an amazing girl, but I can't help but feel as if she's getting a better version of him that I was begging for. What would you do to stop comparing yourself? By the way, I love you so much." Girl, I've been there. And listen,

It's like you want to stalk who they're with now. And I mean, I have done this to the depths of the point of like going insane and just comparing yourself. And it's like that is just not healthy. That's not the way to be. You're not dating him anymore. So or not situation with him anymore. So it's time to move on. Put your focus elsewhere. And really, I know this next part might be hard, but you have to like focus.

block these people, like, mute them. You cannot stalk. You have to stop yourself from stalking because I've been there too where it almost becomes a habit. You, like, don't even realize that you're stalking. You're just, like, clicking on her account, looking, and you're like, oh, she's so beautiful. She's so great. Like, that is not going to do anything for you. I don't know. This might be a little bit of a different scenario, but, you know, Olivia Rodrigo's song, Obsessed, it's about being obsessed with your boyfriend's ex-girlfriend. I feel like

in a weird way, maybe you could relate to that song and get some emotions out even though it's kind of flip-flopped. "Hi Alex, you are my comfort person. You help me so much you don't even know." Oh.

But I need some advice. My sister and I had an argument. It ended with her cussing me out and naming all my insecurities. I will never forgive her for this because she knows how insecure I am about my nose, my body, and everything. But the nose is the one thing I'm the most insecure about because every day people say something to me about it. Do you have any advice on what I can do to make it better with my sister and how I can make my insecurities something I'm less insecure about?

Well, thank you so much for saying that about me, that I'm your comfort person, like, that you're gonna make me cry. Thank you, and I love you. First, on the argument side of things, I feel like it's very normal, especially with siblings or family, because they're closest to you, and they just, they will go for the jabs, like, they will come for the throat, like, anything they know that upsets you, like, they will say, so you can't take that part personally, like, she was just

trying to attack you but you know that's what sometimes sisters do sisters fight and then sisters make up that's the best thing about having a sister it's like a built-in best friend but sometimes you get into screaming matches but I feel like at the end of the day you forgive each other because you're family but I would just have a conversation with your sister and say that you know this really upset you and that you don't want to be fighting you love your sister and on the side of being insecure about things I think it's so easy to

to pick ourselves apart, especially, you know, comparing yourselves to other people. And I don't know, that can really get in your heads. I've also done it to myself and everyone picks themselves apart. Like everyone feels insecure. That's just a human thing. But I really think

starting to like talk nicer to yourself because some things just like aren't going to change like you are who you are you're beautiful the way you are maybe sometimes leaving like little reminders or sticky notes around but just some like positive words of affirmation I think would be really helpful because we are our own worst enemy at sometimes and like we can talk so negatively to ourselves and

That is just not how it's supposed to be. We are supposed to be our own hype woman. We are supposed to be our best friend. I really think just like trying to navigate those thoughts and stop trying to control something that you can't change. Hi, Alex. My boyfriend of three years just broke up with me out of the blue. We just got back from a long trip together and everything was amazing. I genuinely thought I was going to marry this guy and...

so did my family he broke up with me because he wants to work on himself and be alone and doesn't think he's good enough for me he swears up and down there's not another girl and that he needs to love himself before any chance of a future with us what would alex do in this situation so he's like saying okay well i need to fix myself and love myself but like you just wait over there for me and i'm gonna come back

And that is like so hard on you. If he feels that way and he broke up with you at the end of the day, I think you need to move on and look forward. And as much as he's saying kind of like, oh, we'll wait for me to get better before I can come back around.

I don't know. I just think that's going to mess with your head too much. And I think you need to be in the mindset of like, okay, we aren't going to be back together. If some way in the world, I believe everything happens for a reason. You guys find your way back to each other. I think that's amazing. But I think that's way too like mentally straining and draining on you. Straining and draining. Here we go. On you to, I don't know, be...

almost like waiting around for him in the back of your mind. That's really hard. All you can do in this situation, you can't control what anyone else does. You can't control someone to be with you if they don't want to be with you. I would just focus on me becoming my best self and getting to know myself really, really well. I don't think you need to like rush into anything and let yourself heal and process that because that's a lot and

maybe also go to therapy. That's what I would do. I think my boyfriend is cheating on me, but I don't 100% fully know if he is. Backstory. He is a real estate photographer. He goes to homes and he is alone with women in the homes. There is this one woman he works with that talks

to him in a way that is not exactly professional and also speaks to him in a more personal manner. Also, I've seen many other women hug him and be overly comfortable with him. He says they have had many personal conversations. It's not exactly cheating, but the way they talk to each other seems more personal and I feel like there is more going on behind the scenes. Whenever I ask him what he did when he was at a photoshoot with a woman alone in a home, he gets mad at me. What do I do? What would I do in this situation?

I just feel like I'd break up with them. I mean, yes, you have no evidence that this person's cheating on you, but maybe if you're getting a weird feeling, I don't think that's great. I feel like I need more context here because if it's just you...

being, like, really worried that he's, like, alone with another woman and, like, reading into it, like, way too much, I still think that he should respect you and have a conversation with you and, like, sit down and talk and be like, okay, this makes you feel upset. Maybe he has you come to one of these photoshoot days or maybe he just explains to you, like, there's nothing going on, but he has a conversation. Instead of getting mad, I feel like whenever a guy gets defensive about a topic you're

what are you hiding and why are you being so defensive it doesn't seem like you're that happy so i'd break up with him hi alex i really struggle with hormonal acne and your episode about acne brought me so much comfort with fraternity formal season here and there being a lot of parties at my school my acne has been really getting to me what advice do you have to help me get out of my head and not let my acne keep me from enjoying myself by the way i love you and you're beautiful

I love you and you are beautiful and acne is so normal. And trust me, I have been at the lowest of the lows with my acne and especially with what I do and, you know, there's makeup artists like caking makeup on me all the time. I get so stressed out. I'm like, I wish I could just

give myself a break but also when you're dealing with acne you're like okay well if I'm going to this fraternity formal like I want to have my skin covered and looking good at all times but when it really comes down to it you have to get to a place with yourself that

the more you stress about it, you're going to make it worse anyway. You have to realize that it's normal and that it takes time and hormonal acne is just such a journey. It has taken me a long time to get under control and right now I have it under control but in six months it may flare up again. I really don't have any idea. But the biggest thing that I

I always realize because I will do like six months acne, six months no acne, six months I have acne, six months I don't. And every time I'm in a state where my skin's clear and I talk to my friends about it, they're like, I didn't even realize your skin was bad. And I was like, wait, what are you talking about? I literally had moles all down the side of my face and neck. And they're like, I promise you, like I didn't even see that. You have to realize that no one else

is worried about what your skin looks like. Everyone's worried about something in themselves, what they're doing, what they look like. So no one's spending the time out of their day to focus and be like, ooh, like don't like her skin. And I think if you can come to a place with yourself where you realize that acne can be really, really hard mentally,

But I think doing little things to just make yourself feel good, something I always like to do is get like a cooling kind of face mask or just take those moments to yourself where you do a little like self-care, make yourself feel good. Don't be afraid to go out without makeup because a lot of the times makeup can, you know, make the acne worse and taking it on and off and it just hurts and your skin's raw and

I have been there and getting myself to feel comfortable going out with my acne was really hard for me. Like going to class, I was like, I can't do this without layering 10 things of foundation on right now. And the second that I started to do it and...

no one said anything to me and no one treated me any differently I was like oh okay like no one actually cares and they probably don't even notice so I think give yourself the courtesy to let your skin be let your skin breathe and just know that you're beautiful with or without acne hi Alex I'm finishing my first year of university and I'm nervous about coming home for summer my parents are divorced and in high school I split my time evenly between my mom and my dad's

At my dad's I have two half-siblings who are a lot younger so the house is usually really chaotic and the focus is mostly on my little siblings. At my mom's house it's more relaxed and I'm able to do my own thing and come and go as I please which is not really the case at my dad's. I want to spend more time at my mom's but I don't know how to tell my dad because he gets offended when it comes to this stuff. What would Alex do? Girl...

I feel you. So for anyone who doesn't know, my parents divorced when I was in third grade and I do have little half siblings at my dad's house as well. And I just feel like kids of divorced parents like get it. You know, you have like the weekend bag to pack. You're like splitting which days. I'm pretty sure I used to go to my dad's on like Wednesdays and every other weekend. So it can definitely be a lot trying to like split the time between two different households. But

But that stress also shouldn't be on you. And if you want to like take some time alone and go sit at your mom's house and chill, I know that's kind of the vibe. Well, I guess I kind of chill at both houses. But, you know, obviously my little siblings aren't at my mom's house. So when I'm there, I am kind of like in my room alone and like not talking to anyone besides my mom when she comes home from work.

but I think there's a way to like talk to your dad without him being offended. And I think that parents can get a little bit wrapped up sometimes of like,

picking one side or the other. And I think if you just say to your dad, hey, I love you so much. Like, I'm so grateful that we get to do this. We get to split time. Like, I love being over here. I'm so excited to be home for the summer, though. Like, I want to go spend some time at mom's and like just explain to him and like reassure him that you still love him. You aren't switching up on him. You don't hate him. You don't ever want to not come back. But like you want to, you know, go spend some time with your mom and at your mom's house. And I think that's

totally normal and fine. And I just think in those situations, like the more honest you can be about how you feel, like if he heard you, you know, writing in this question and saying that, he'd probably be like, oh my God, like I don't want her to feel that way. I think it's just the delivery of how you communicate things sometimes. So that's what I would do. And I've definitely learned that a lot with my parents being split is just

communicating clearly when you're upset or when something's not going right because if you don't and you just hold those emotions in then they're gonna like fester into something bigger over time so it's better to just talk about it get it done with even though it's scary and sometimes awkward and weird thank you guys for listening to another episode of hot mess i love you guys don't forget to like follow subscribe i'm

I'm currently going to start packing because I'm leaving in the morning to go to Coachella. So I will see you guys next week for Coachella. Of course, you guys are coming along with me and it is going to be a really, really fun episode. We have a really fun group going. I will see you guys in Palm Springs. Bye.