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From the art of the deal to keeping it real. Live from the Simply Vegas studios, it's The Power Move with John Gafford. Back again, back again for another episode of The Power Move. I am your host, John Gafford. To my left...
Colt, the Wacom Cobra. Am I in? Strong one today. Strong. I like that. The Wacom Cobra. Matches my turtleneck. I dig that. Missing for the second. He'll be back shortly, but missing, I'll show you.
Yeah, there he is. The empty chair. The empty vessel that is normally Chris Connell. The best Chris has ever looked on the air. It's the best he's ever looked. You know, it's amazing that, you know, how unimportant our podcast comes when you have a very high value client. Lawyer. It's like, yeah. It's like, yeah, I can sit here and talk nonsense with you morons or I can move on and do that. Go make money. Yes. Today on the show, we're going to talk about, man, 2020, you know, the new year 2022 has already started off.
For a lot of people, the same way that 2021 kind of ended, which was, you know, with some drama and some problems. And I want to talk about, you know, people always ask me what the most important book that I've ever read is or, you know, what's made the biggest impact on me. And that book is The Obstacles Away by Ryan Holiday and actually his whole series of books on stoicism. I can't get enough of it. I'm actually reading one right now called The Ego is the Way. I'm sorry.
Ego is the enemy is the one I'm reading right now. That sounds like a good one. It is a good one. The ego is the most loving thing. I love to learn about the ego. It is the ego is...
what will wreck you as a person. It will. And so what we're going to do today is not do a paraphrase of a book or not summarize a book as we have before. What I did was I just kind of went out and found a bunch of quotes from famous Stoics that I like. And these are, these are, these are quotes that have come through. I've read them in different books that I've read. Um,
You know, just different things that I've consumed on this topic, because this is I'm going to warn you right now. This is one of those topics that once you get started on it, it's going to hopefully will appeal to you as it has to me. It is what allows me to do what I do and get me through the day. And hopefully it'll appeal to you and you'll start you'll start looking for more of this stuff out. So what I want to do is I just highlighted I got, I don't know, a handful of quotes on here and I just kind of want to go through and we'll talk about as we go through. So love it.
Love it. A lot of Marcus Aurelius, who was an emperor of Rome, some Seneca, some Epictetus, some different stuff as we go along. So we'll start out real quick with one from Seneca that says, if you have passed through life without an opponent, no one can ever know what you are capable of, not even you.
And I love that because it is one of those quotes that came through that so many people shuck adversity. So many people don't want to compete. So many people are scared to take that chance. So many people are scared to get out of their comfort zone, Colt, to see where the world will take them. I totally agree. And I think you're...
It goes to, you know, you really never have a true enemy or obstacle if you don't have an ego. But there's always obstacles. Like, there is. It's so funny. I felt like crap. And people are reaching out to me. It's like, you look great today. Yeah, thanks. No, but it's.
Yeah. So what I'm sick, thank God that I'm still alive. I've got the ability to get up and get going again. And if you just pass away and like, oh, poor me, I'm not going to fight against something. I'm not going. You'll never live life. You'll never be successful. If you're afraid of somebody yelling at you on the phone, you can't be a salesperson.
The obstacles, if you push them away. No, you need opposition in your life. Absolutely. You need something to measure. Come on. Hey, Chris Connell comes in. Hey, don't worry about us. We just do this every week. Don't sweat us. It's fine. What kind of power move would it be if you didn't get some
If we didn't get some common sense. If we didn't get some commerce done. No, I agree. Welcome. Welcome, counselor. How are you? How are you doing, gentlemen? So how was the call? Incredibly productive. Incredibly productive. Very optimistic. Very optimistic.
- I say that a lot. - For all your legal needs. - For all your legal needs. - 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 702 Connell, 70
The first one, because I didn't get your opinion, was if you have passed through life without an opponent, no one will ever know what you were capable of, not even you from Seneca. That is absolutely true. You need opposition. You need failure. You need failure. You need it. Because you've got to measure yourself against something or you never know how you measure up. Look at the Georgia coach. How sweet is that victory?
It was sweet for him. For Kirby to win. How sweet is that? Because he's failed before. Yeah. Yeah, it did. I agree with that. I agree. Another one from Seneca. Whatever can happen at any time can happen today. This is something that I use a lot to insulate me. Again, whatever can happen can happen today.
When I'm running through plans, it's like so many people just want to see the positive and things they're going to do. They don't model out the disasters. They don't look at the worst case scenario. And I get accused sometimes by some of my partners as being the Debbie Downer sometimes, and I'm not. I just want to model out every single possible scenario that could happen before I get done. This is how, when I evaluate a business deal, I'm
I evaluate risk in all things. This is how I do it. What is the absolute worst thing that could happen? I mean, let's assume that the wheels completely fall off and this thing tanks. Is it going to end me? Right. And where on my risk meter does that, where does the damage go and where does the reward go? Right. And I weigh those two things out. And I also think you've got to take it as,
Sometimes you can't control life, right? Like so many people are so afraid to live life right now because of COVID because of what if that could, well, anything could happen to you today. You could die of a heart attack. You could fall and trip and hit your head that you could even look at it that way is,
Anything bad could happen. You got to live life. You got to push through. You got to get going on. I think about that a lot. No, I think, I think the general, I think the general, and you'll see these themes run through all of these things we talk about today, but there's a couple of themes that run through most everything, which is number one, you have, you have complete and total control of your emotions and how you react to things. That's one. Number two is the concept of memento mori, which I say to my wife, all I said it this morning. I mean, she's like,
cats got diarrhea. I had COVID, you know, blah, blah, blah. Hayden broke his wrist, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And I was just like, I meant to Maury, which means someday you will die. And compared to that, what is this? Nothing. What is this? This is nothing compared to think about it. The worst part of death is you're never even going to know when it happens.
Yeah. Right? Hopefully. I saw The Sopranos last episode. It just fade to black. You know, it's fade to black, and you think about the people you leave behind. So, you know, did you tell your loved ones you love them recently? Did you do that? I had a good talk with a guy that died for like 14 minutes. Was this the white beard guy? No, no. That was my angel that saved me. But, you know, if you've never talked to anybody that's died and come back, it makes you feel good about your life. It makes you feel good that...
people love it. People love dying. People come back and they're like, Oh, the peace that come with it. Unless your life is the executioner. Then you should pro pad about that. Yeah. Cause you failed that day. But I think that's a cool conversation to have somebody. That was a good joke. That was a joke that I was, I was not going to a bit outside yet. Look folks, they can't all be gems. We try. I,
The good news is you can see from that response. Nobody here humors me about shit. If I miss, it's a hard miss. It just says that it is. That's all right. But no, that's a cool conversation to have with people that have six pitches died, right? People have died. They've got a perspective on life. That's a lot different. That's it. Uh, Marcus Aurelius, again, emperor of Rome said today I escaped anxiety or no, I discarded it because it was within me in my own perceptions, not outside. Right. Um,
I think you run right to, again, the world is, there's no right or wrong. I think Nietzsche said there's no good or evil. It just is. Your perception of things is how it is. And if you are someone that has a high level of anxiety, if you're somebody that stresses out all the time about what's going on, they say that if you are stressed, you are either, if you're depressed, you're reliving yesterday. If you have anxiety, you're worried about tomorrow. And you're at peace if you're living today.
is the best advice. And that's another thing that I always tell my wife all the time is don't borrow trouble from tomorrow. Look, what will be will be. If this is gonna be a problem tomorrow, it's gonna be a problem tomorrow. But right now, we don't know that it's a problem. Just because, again, when I look at, and I talk about how I evaluate risk and how I do those things,
I don't, I don't obsess over the worst case scenario. I don't focus on the worst case scenario. I just consider it so I won't be surprised. Right. That's, you know, if it comes up, okay, look, yeah, we knew that might happen. It was considered, you know, one of the quotes is not in here that I wish was, it says, you know, one of the things that a general can say, a general, one of the things that general can say that is unforgivable is I didn't know that could happen.
Right. Right. Completely unforgivable is I never thought that could happen twice. Right. Right. That's unbelievable. You're watching it actually happen. Yeah. How is it unbelievable? It's not unbelievable. You're watching it happen.
I've often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than the opinion of others. Oh, it's unbelievably insightful. Oh my God. I mean, if, listen, I'm going to say that again, I'm going to say it again. Here it comes. Here it comes.
I have often wondered how it is that every man loves himself more than all the rest of men, but yet sets less value on his own opinion of himself than of the opinion of others. This is the truest thing. I mean, it's funny. Whenever I teach a class and I talk about being likable or being attractive, I'm always like, who's your favorite person? I ask that every time out to the room. Who's your favorite person? And everybody's like, my mom, my sister, my best friend. I'm like, you're all full of shit.
Your favorite person is you, which is why you love to talk about you. You love to hear about you. You love to hear your own name. Yeah, you love to hear your own name. It's magic sounding to you. And yet, as a society, through now social media, we've become so consumed with the approval of others. Through likes, through shares, through comments, through all of those things, it is insane. You know, Cody Sperber, who's a friend of mine,
He's the clever investor. He did a video the other day that was shockingly honest. I loved it because it feels it was very truthful to me how it felt. And Cody, if you're watching this or you see this clip, this is for you. So Cody did a clip where he basically said, I am getting out of the social media game in one year. I'm out.
I'm done with this. I no longer get any, I never, I don't drive any pleasure from this. It causes me irritation. It is a job. I am at the whim of the algorithms of Instagram. I, my stuff doesn't get seen. I'm done. He's like, for me in life, it's either a fuck yeah or hell no. And this has become a hell no. And so many people, so many young people get caught up in the approval of others through social media.
that the approval, no matter how much you get, will not be enough. So I just want to push back just very briefly because sometimes people will, there's this whole thing about stoicism where they think it's just these mindless quotes about being, you know, whatever. It's not. It's about understanding that what you can control, you can control how to approach life and all that stuff.
There is something to be said, though, about how you feel naturally about other people, how they feel about you, because we are still tribal animals. So as much as you can be an intellectual being, you're still primal and a lot of different root places, right? So the clicks you get are approval, right? We have Dunbar's number, how many people are within our village. Because I need the acceptance of others to be tolerated within my own village. And I think sometimes...
That's a balance, right? You have to be for yourself and living for your family, worried about yourself, what's in your control. But you also don't want to do it to the detriment of how you fit in in your tribe. Well, I think the point that Marcus is trying to make here. No, no, I get it. But I think the point that he's trying to make is if your self-value comes through the eyes of others, you're never going to be happy.
It's not even going to be a piece. A piece is just acceptance of the moment, right? Well, and I think you've got to be smart enough to realize whose opinion you should value. If I've got business issues and I ask both of you, I'm going to value your opinion probably as much as I value my own opinion.
Now, if I'm going out and you guys are idiot business people and I'm putting your opinion value in the same, it's different. Just like I've got a brother that when he makes fun of what I'm wearing, I'm like, thank God you don't like it. Right. Like, yeah, tell me I'm doing something right. Yeah. Yeah. So John Gaff. Yeah. But no, but it is like if you're, if you worry about what other people think of you, God, man, you can be picked apart. Like I did, I didn't, I didn't highlight this quote, but it goes with what you just said. And I don't remember who said it.
And it's going to, I'm never going to be able to find it, but it says, uh, take counsel of your friends because their lens may not be clouded by self-love. Right. Yeah. I love that. Very smart. Yeah. It's very, it's very self-awareness. Yeah. Having self-awareness of it. I don't, I don't know where it was and who said it, but there it goes back to Marcus Aurelius. It can ruin your life only if it ruins your character. Otherwise it cannot harm you inside or out. So often, um,
I think the perception, you know, you are only harmed if you choose to be harmed by people. I mean, everybody's like, that person did me wrong. You know, Biden's out to get me. Trump screwed up my, but it's all about what this external force did to you. And the reason, right, or going to do to you. And the reason that I find the reason that I can be so ambivalent to it. And we talked about a little bit last time, and it's not about, you know, not staying up for my country and my freedom is being eroded one time. It's just the fact that it's,
It doesn't affect me. I'm going to figure out a way to make it work. I don't let that stuff consume me. It's like Jay-Z said, put me in anywhere on God's green earth, I'll triple my worth. That's right. And that goes back to your ego again. A lot of this comes back to your ego. You're sitting there letting somebody create...
an enemy which who cares if someone comes up and says Chris stupid shirt you're an idiot and now you're like he's an enemy and now now you've wasted energy you've wasted your time it's it's hurt you now like no it didn't hurt your ego who gives a crap like I I get I don't know the ego thing's crazy you know what's smart about you even reading these printing these out John what's that
There's that whole quote. I can't remember who said it. It was, I think it might be Rogan always says it, that motivations like showering, it works for a little bit. Yeah. You got to do it off. So you can read meditations by a realist. You can read Seneca, right? And you get these really great kind of some, a bit of positive inertia in your own thinking about self love or,
or letting the little stuff go. But slowly, it'll start chipping away at it. So make it a priority to read sometimes. I actually highlighted a quote from that, so we'll get to that in a minute. But again, I think that's why, if you look at programs like 75 Hard that Andy Frisell does, if you look at those programs, you're going to see that consuming...
every day are part of those programs. If you look at force positive, you look at the billionaire morning and get up at six, do this meditate. I mean, you see where they're consuming that as a part of the, it's as important as consuming food, right? Is what you put in your brain, which brings me to my next thing, which is this Marcus Aurelius. Again, the happiness of your life depends on the quality of your thoughts, you know, what you think you become. I mean, I, you know,
If you are thinking about being broke, if you are constantly thinking about your girl cheating on you, if you're constantly thinking about everything in the world that could be negative, that's the quality of your life. That's what you're going to manifest. Go and think it. Yeah. Think of the realization. They talk about the law of attraction. This is what they're talking about. Wayne Dyer. You remember Dr. Wayne Dyer? He was like a motivational speaker. He always had some on PBS. Yeah.
I turned on his program one time and I thought it was strictly a Bob Ross on PBS. Did you watch that documentary? All in on Bob Ross. All in. It was like a religious sermon or something. I was waiting for him to start being religious, but it wasn't. He was quoting Buddha and Jesus and Muhammad, like all these people with stuff. One thing he said about just listening to violent music, he wasn't being old man poo-poo on TV.
He goes, just listen to the content of your music, though. Listen to the words. Dude, we've talked about that. I mean, because when I was coming, like for years, Social Distortion, one of my favorite bands. Oh, yeah. We talked about this on the show. Same exact thing. I love Social Distortion. And then one day I kind of sat there and started listening to what I was screaming out. And I'm like,
Dude, Mike, I mean, bro, go to night school. Figure it out. Start an e-com store or something, Mikey. It doesn't have to be this bad, bro. And I had to stop listening to Social D because I was verbally...
yelling, manifesting, manifesting, not the best stuff. And it can be TV shows, social media. It can be music. You don't even realize it. Like there's times I'm like, that's what that music saying. I'm not pro censorship at all. And I don't think that it's a good policy, but I do think that being self-aware and reflecting on what's the content of rage against the machine. You go, okay. Yeah. Yeah. There's all these power struggles, whatever. And it's fun to like rock out and get all angry, but reflect on it. Like, just don't, don't let it come in without, without,
Some kind of check on it. Well, I'll say more to that. You know, we talked about this before. Triggers. As you're going through social media, look, if you're watching this video, if you see this video on social media and you're like, fuck that guy.
Delete me dude because I'm not helping I don't want to be the guy that triggers you in a negative way I'm not helping you first thing. I'll tell for other people first Tell for other people first. Yeah, tell for the people tell for the people second think about why that would trigger you though well I was like a second and just go
Okay, delete me. I'm not adding anything. I don't want to take anything away from anybody ever. Because people look for things. They seek negativity. I was watching Private Parts, Howard Stern's movie the other night. And they were talking about when he first went to New York and the ratings came in. They said the average Stern fan listens for 60 minutes a day.
The average stern hater listens for 140 minutes a day. And both answers were the same. I want to see what he's going to do next. And it's like, you're look, people are looking for, if you're looking for things to upset you, you're going to find them. Sure. You see the same fights between the same people on social media. It's like delete each other. I only follow. So I'm starting to make sure that I only follow people.
artists, people that do awesome shit like Jacob Acrobat, these guys on Instagram doing amazing human feats. Because I get fueled up by watching incredible things of humanity, right? I don't slag the Kardashians. They do nothing for me. They've never hurt me. I think it's good that that one is trying to help people now. That's the end of my opinion on that entire family. Because like I said, people love to hate that. But I will say this about the Kardashians.
Skinny white boys, we're back. Hell yeah. We're back. We're back, baby. We're back. Bringing a comeback. We're back. Dude, Pete Davidson. I'm just... Good for him, man. I mean...
Kate Beckinsale. That dude is knocking down a Mount Rushmore. I asked my sister about it. Maybe he's just cool to hang out with. He might be. Overblow how difficult it is to land an attractive partner or spouse, right? If you're an enjoyable person, if you're not sitting there like a negative asshole all the time, if you're kind of cool to be around
I mean, I've heard some other things, but I was just going to say that. I mean, he seems like, you know, he lost his dad in nine 11. He's left. He seems like he is somebody that just lives positivity, which is good. Right. Maybe he's entirely empathetic. I mean, instead of being, could you imagine being married to,
Kanye and then go from that to this. And there's a guy who says self-love is not surpassed by his opinion on anybody. 100%. And that's the opposite of what you don't want to be either. 100%. Well, here's a great quote from Seneca. Life is very short and anxious for those who forget the past, neglect the present, and fear the future.
Again, going back to the same thing we just said, where if you're depressed, you're reliving the past. If you're anxious, you're fearful of the future. You just want to be at peace in the present is what you want to do. That's a big one. That's good.
Marcus Rios again everything we hear is an opinion not a fact everything we see is perspective not the truth Totally, I mean this should that should be a disclaimer on social media. Yeah Everything you're gonna see is an opinion everything, you know, not fact everything we see is perspective I mean, you know, this is the easiest one if you've never heard it glass empty glass half-full true That's it's the easiest way to get perspective is everything in life. I
i think what was it you heard the story uh the chinese proverb where the guy was like uh uh what was it guys his horse his horse runs away yeah right and then the whole the whole village comes over and says oh god sorry about your horse it's terrible and he goes well we'll see maybe and then the
And then the next day, a whole bunch of horses come back and they say, oh man, that's terrible. Or that's great news that all these horses showed up. He said, we'll see. And then his son got on one of the wild horses and broke his leg and they said, that's terrible. He said, we'll see. And then the army came along to draft all the young kids. He couldn't go. He said, we'll see. I mean, the point is, perspective is everything. Have you heard that one? Have I ever? I don't know if I've mentioned it, but it's one of my favorite stories. Is it the moth joke? No. It's a family. They have two kids. But.
About the same age, two boys, twin boys, somehow totally different. One's ultra dysthymic, sad about everything, lugubrious, just kind of a downer. Whoa, I mean, that is fast and furious. I didn't even get those to get out. That was like a triple letter word score twice. Hey, you got to keep up. I mean, bam, bam.
And the other kid is just eternally optimistic. We missed you. Bringing the highbrow up in here for sure. So one eternally optimistic one's not. So they say, well, we're going to give the one kid a pony, the one who's down. That's sure to bring him up. And the other kid, we're going to fill up his room with horse shit, whatever, the whole time. So the kid with the pony is like, oh, God, now I've got to get up and feed it and do all this stuff with it. And the kid whose room was full of horse shit was freaking out, totally excited. And he's clawing through this horse shit. And the parent's just, what's going on? He goes, with all this pony shit in here, there must be a pony somewhere.
Yeah. Right. It's that whole thing about how you look at something, right? Perception is everything. Yep.
Sometimes there is facts and the facts are facts. It's a problem. You know, like sometimes it's like, you know, there, there's always a, that thing that there's a six, right? One guy's on one side and one guy's on the other. It's like, well, it's a nine. Well, it's a six. Well, it's a nine. We'll figure out which one it really is. Cause it's looking at if there's a two beside it. And then you get perspective. Yeah. You can get perspective and realize what the fact is. It's not, not everything can be correct. No, no, I agree.
Everything we talked about that tranquility comes. I'm sorry. The tranquility that comes when you stop caring what they say or think or do only what you do again. Remember that whole comment about a young man cares about what other people think. An old man stops caring what other people think. And a wise man knows they're not thinking about it at all. They were never thinking about him at all. They didn't think about him at all. That's true. That's the best one. All right. Love this. Be tolerant with others and strict with yourself. That's great. I think that too much in this conversation,
We hold others to too high of a standard and don't hold ourselves to high enough standard. One of the best pieces of advice I ever got was expect nothing from anyone, and then you can never be disappointed. If you don't expect anybody to do anything, you'll never be disappointed by anybody. So my mom gave me this book on relationships when I was younger, and there was this whole dichotomy of –
you know, people in relationships, sometimes it's a giver, sometimes it's a taker. And a lot of times that doesn't balance, right? Sometimes there's somebody that does everything and the other person does nothing. It's imbalanced. And then there's the relationships that are 50-50. But with a 50-50 relationship, you're still meeting in the middle. Because this person said in a relationship, expect to give 60 and expect to receive 40 because just giving isn't satisfying because you have needs too. If each partner gives 60 and demands 40,
there's going to be overlap yeah there's going to be excess of giving
and a surplus, right, of expectations of receiving. So, you know, when you do that, when you expect to give more than you're going to get, but still retain the fact that you're a valuable person and you deserve something back, right, nothing can just be everything, right? You can't just give away the farm. When you do that, you know, you create excess for both parties. Well, I taught my son that lesson this weekend, or last weekend, because it was. He wanted to have a bunch of his friends over during the day, and he said, you know, I said, you know,
that that's a mom department thing. I'm not saying, cause I don't care if you're 10 or if you're 40, when you come to our house, my wife goes into full on like hostess mode and it's, it's work for her. You know what I mean? So you don't just do the throw the bag of chips out and that's it. It's gotta be a whole thing. Right. And so I, I never am the one that says yes to that. Cause I am the author, you know, 13 year old boys, here's a bag of chips and don't break anything, which didn't work out either. But the, uh,
So I'm telling Hayden. So, so she says, yes, you can have these boys over. And she left. And I said, Hayden, I need you to clean up the whole downstairs, like spotless before she comes back. I clean everything up. And he goes, why? And I said, trust me, it'll go a long way. So she walks back in from the store for buying all the stuff that she needs to entertain these four 13 year old boys.
And I go, that's not a terrible, but there you go. But I said, I said, no, no, no, no, but I said, she looks at me, she goes, oh, the house looks great. I said, Hayden cleaned the whole thing up. And I said, dude, Hayden, relationships are like bank accounts. There's deposits and withdrawals. And her letting your friends come over, that's a withdrawal. So you needed to make a deposit to make sure that you still had some in the bank to cover it. Same thing. Or just let her know that you value what she's going to do. Yes, you appreciate that.
Now, I love, love, love this quote. I think if you are a millennial out there that doesn't quite know what's going on, what you want to do, what you want to be, you know, just whatever it is. This, I think, is your quote. You ready? From Seneca. If a man knows not which port he sails, no wind is favorable.
And I absolutely love that. Again, if a man knows not which port he not to, I'm sorry. If a man knows not to which port he sails, no one is favorable from Seneca. What that basically means is if you don't know where you're going in life or you don't know where you're trying to get no help, no assistance, no leg up, no handout, none of it is going to matter. It doesn't matter. So many, I think so many of these younger kids now, uh,
They just want somebody to do something for them in a way, but they don't know where they want to go. It's like even if somebody came by and gave you the best opportunity in the world, you couldn't grab it because you have no idea what you want. But that is so. But I think people also need to be equally forgiving of themselves for not knowing what the hell they want to do. I think a lot of people kind of just think I'm going to do this because I kind of think. But they haven't gone like they're talking about your son wants to be an architect. Right.
Well, last week, this week, whatever. Well, that's what I'm saying. Maybe he goes and starts working on cat all day and goes, this is bullshit. I want to coach kids soccer. You don't know it. That's why I think people should go try a bunch of shit. Yeah. Totally agree. But again, the point being is I think so many people look for the wind. Oh, go find your port. Yeah.
No, they're looking for the wind before they're trying to figure out where they're trying to go. Go find your port first. Yeah, it doesn't matter. You've got to figure out where you want to go before you look for the wind. Yeah, too many people's ports are money, right? Whatever it is. A lot of times, their port's money. It's like, okay, well, why are you really trying to get there? I promise you this. If you make your goal...
About your professional goals or whatever about money. You're gonna be a sad motherfucker. Yeah, dude It's the you bet if you mean I I have friends in this business in the real estate business that You know look if anybody calls me or ask me a question. I'm happy to sit down with them. I'm gonna help them I don't have any secrets to any of our agents workers. I'll be Vegas. I get my entire playbook We spent I mean, I'll tell him everything I'm doing
But I know so many people that hoard that information because they say like helping somebody else. And I'm not sure people say, there's nothing in it for me. Well, what are you talking about? You know what I mean? Like that's going to be an empty existence in the long haul. But those people are always fucking miserable because they think the next –
bag is the next bag is going to be the one that breaks them into happiness that's the one it doesn't it doesn't you better have a reason for your existence yep and money's not it i've been poor and i've had the fortunate opportunity to have moments of wealth yeah uh you know even if brief or whatever my situation is i will tell you that money is not what creates happiness no no it's not it's not all right let's take a quick break when we'll be right back and talk about more stoicism
Hey, it's John Gafford. If you want to catch up more and see what we're doing, you can always go to thejohngafford.com where we'll share any links that we have things we talked about on the show, as well as links to the YouTube where you can watch us live. And if you want to catch up with me on Instagram, you can always follow me at thejohngafford. I'm here. Give me a shout.
Back from the break where today we are talking about stoicism and how, you know, hopefully it's going to inspire some of you guys. Look, honestly, we do this, man. I try to get great information, be it sales, be it business, be it whatever it is. And, you know, we try to be entertaining. But literally, this this is a this is like an important deal for me today. Like this is an important show because this is a big part of how.
Run my life and it's a big part of the methodology that I use in in every and I've never given this information to anybody or Recommended a book to them on this topic and they haven't come out of the other side of the better place So hopefully this will inspire you hearing some of the greats talk about stoicism will inspire you to continue your journey on that way
You know what made them great? What? The concept of a benevolent dictator, right? They say Marcus Aurelius came as close as anybody could have. Yeah. Right. So when you're truly just, when you're truly looking out for the benefits of all as your main priority, that's what made him such a great leader. Yeah. Well, that and you live what you say, right? That's the second thing is you can listen to all this all you want. If you don't implement it in your life and actually live it, you're wasting your time.
Yeah. No, you're there. Walk it, talk it, walk it like a talk. It was a good way to say it. So back to Seneca, who once said, whatever you've been expecting for some time comes as less of a shock.
Again, back to if you go through and you weigh out all of the options of things that can happen, both good and bad, you're not surprised when they happen. I got, you know, a couple months ago or nine months, like maybe a month ago, I lost the president of one of our companies. And I never saw that coming. Like I was not prepared for that. I thought this dude was making a ton of money. I thought he was a lifer with us. And I never saw it coming.
And now in the months since I've structured that business in a way that makes it impossible to ever go into that scramble again. It just, it's just not possible. You know, have you, that was a mistake that I made. Oh, and it's kind of, you see it in real life. You see, uh,
dying from cancer for two years. When their death comes, life doesn't stop as sudden as somebody in a car wreck. And people take months of like, can't get their shit together because they didn't see it coming. Right. Right. If you see it coming at that shock is so much less. I mean, I've, I've seen people and it's like, how are you over it? Well, I mean,
we knew they were sick. Chadwick Boseman, the guy who played Black Panther. Yeah. His final words were like, oh, I love my family and thank you for everything you've done. It was this peaceful sort of transition, right? Yeah. Because you knew his company had mental time to prepare and you go through your Kubler-Ross stages of death and dying and grief. But his final words were kind of very beautiful and poetic and peaceful. And then you hear other final words from people. Like, ah! Yeah.
No. It's true. Or they're just like, hey, I'm going to go get some milk. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, what the fuck? Bob Saget. Great show tonight. Great show tonight. Great show tonight. Really loved it. And find him in his bed just toast. Yeah, dude.
Good guy. It's great. One of the best aristocrats ever done. Oh, dude, the best. I actually watched it again. Did you? I watched it yesterday. He's got a great aristocrat. I watched it yesterday. That was the first thing I did when I heard that was I looked up his telling of the aristocrat joke. That's great. It was one of the first things I did. And again, man, what a life for him and Betty White, not to jump on that. But dude, you are doing it right because there's going to be people fighting over the mic at your funeral. And I think that should be everybody's goal to have people fighting over the mic when you go. I think it should be.
It's not that we have little time, but more that we waste a good deal of it. Seneca. Here's a fun exercise, boy. Here's a fun exercise. Go look at screen time? No, not screen time. Just take a calculator.
So my father passed away when he was 74 years old. Right. I don't like where John's going. Cause I've been thinking about that. Here we go. Dude. But here's the point. Memento Mori. Yeah. You will die. It bothered me. I had this conversation with Jim the other day with this guy I was talking to and he's like, ah, my family's here. My, my family just left and I was very happy to have them. It was wonderful.
I got to see them all. Right. And so, but you are thinking, Hey, dad's turning 71 this year. Yeah. How many, how many more times are you going to see? How many more times are we going to do this? Yeah.
Yeah. Yeah. Five. It's not as much. It's not a fucking lot. But here's the problem. The problem is everybody wants to ignore death. They want to act like it's never going to happen. It's the only thing in your life that you have no, you seriously have zero control over. It's going to happen when it's going to happen. Well, I mean, there's things you can do. You can't outlive. If we just look at this, you know, my father passed away at 74. If I multiply that by 365, that's, I got, you know, 24 years left times 365. Yeah.
You know, going on that, I got 8,760 days left. You're good, huh? About 10,000 days? Yeah, 10,000 days. 27 years. If, if, if. If you're lucky, go down. Everything goes that far. Everything goes, but it could, but it could go tomorrow. I could get in a car wreck. I could, I could come down. Dude, 10,000 days is not a long time. Yeah. I mean, when you look at these super healthy people, like Black Panther is a great example. The guy's a superhero for Christ's sakes. Stud. Stud. Great. And gone. And gone just that quick. Blink of an eye. When you look at that, that's what happens. That's the problem. So,
Understanding, you know, how many days have you set, you know, and this is what's so kind of infuriating about like my mother-in-law, like, and it was one of the, one of the reasons that I couldn't take it when she was staying with us and living with us. And my father was, was like fighting for his life or doing what he was doing.
She would just get up and just watch TV all day long. And I'm like, my dad would give anything to be able to just go where he wanted to go, do what he wanted to do. And you're choosing to waste the day watching game shows. Well, and your health, not to be corny, but there's not a single person on earth that like Warren Buffett probably wouldn't trade with. Yeah. I'm projecting clearly. Yeah. But would you trade position with Warren Buffett? No, not a million years. That's the guy's gonna be dead soon. Your money is worthless when you're at the end of your life. Yeah. No, it is.
I totally agree with that. You know, like I said, I was dating a girl that had MS. I mean, for him to sit there and say, I wish I could walk across the parking lot. I'll never complain about that stuff again. Again, you can't beat yourself up over it. No. But it's good to always think about those things. You got to understand it. Okay, moving on to that. Seneca, it is not the man who has too little, but the man who craves more that is poor. That's right.
So many people just, like you were talking about earlier, it's the next bag. It's the next thing that's going to make them happy. Dude, being rich is about being very content with what you have. Now, I know that conflicts a little bit with the hustle culture that we have. And dude, there's nothing wrong with wanting more. There's nothing wrong with wanting to level up. There's nothing wrong with any of that. It's not your happiness. Here's the deal. As much as I want to level up and as much as I want to take my life, my business, my health, everything to the next level, I'm never...
I'm never depressed about where I am today. You're not going to sacrifice your marriage. No, absolutely not. I, you know, I'm very content in where I am today. I have a drive to get to the next level, but it's not, but why not? Because again, this goes back to, cause I want to measure myself against something. If I don't have an opponent, you know, I never know how far I am for me. The opponent is getting to the next level. Michael Jackson or Michael Jordan. I got to create an enemy. Yeah. I have to have an enemy. That's so funny. Cause I was just, I was thinking about that.
That last night, right? Like I was – I went to the store in Summerlin yesterday. You know, everybody's getting a Mercedes, Lexuses, BMWs. Then I ran to the store down by my house, and it's a Hispanic store. And it was so positive in there. People were laughing. You know, just –
just living life in that store. And I'm like, God, man, like it was so crazy. And then I think about when I go to Mexico and go to these small little villages, they have more fun. They're happier in life than when I go outside my neighborhood. These people are all living nice lives. It's like the Philippines, right? Some of the happiest people on earth in the Philippines, right? Who voted the happiest country on earth? Probably. Yeah. I guess being a VC makes you super happy. Or VA, a virtual assistant makes you super happy. Yeah. No.
No, but people are happy when they have their priorities straight. If you value family time, you value this, you know, as long as you're balanced, it's a food on your table. I've said this a lot, driving an ultra luxury car is,
It's not that much better after your first couple days of having it than it is driving a nice Toyota. No. It's virtually status. Well, again, as I said, when you can literally get to a point when you can drive anything you want, I think you might be surprised with whatever you want. Well, you would, yeah. I think you might be surprised. That's why so many people are F-150s. I know so many billionaires. There you go. Billionaires, people worth $100 million, they're all driving F-150s, Jeeps, stuff like that.
I love this. The good things of prosperity are to be wished, but the good things that belong to adversity are to be admired. Seneca said that. Now, what that means is this is, yes, it's fine to there's a, you know, there's another parable that I'll tell that, that, that explains this better, which is this. A man said, my grandfather walked to his job every day. My father drove a Ford. I drive a Mercedes. My son will drive a Ferrari. Okay.
His son will walk because greatness is built from adversity. It's where it's, it's where it starts. Hard men create good times. Good times create soft men. A hundred percent. And I think that's what it is. So don't be opposed to adversity. This is what the obstacle is. The way is all about. Dive into adversity. Understand the thing standing in front of you or between you and what you want is going to build you in a way to strengthen you in a way that you
Even if you don't necessarily achieve what you wanted, it's going to make you stronger. Right.
I love it. The whole no good thing comes without adversity, right? Like if a Ferrari was $40,000 and everybody could drive it, Ferrari's not cool. It's not a good thing. It's actually kind of a shitty car. No, but I get it. But even if it was, let's say it's the best car ever. If everybody's got it, there's no adversity, then who cares? Well, you know what the best car on the road is is a Tesla.
period i don't think yeah it literally is i got one the other day and i was like man there's no moving parts i think in like dance for you it is infinitely more interesting i didn't like i got a brand new one the other day and i kind of turned away i think when you look at a combustion engine it is a moronic thing relative to what it is
How many times have you heard this and had no idea where it came from? You ready? Luck is what happens when preparation meets opportunity. That was actually from Seneca. That quote's been around for millions of years. I think it was Confucius. Yeah, it wasn't Tony Robbins. No, Seneca actually said that. So everybody's like, oh, you got so lucky. You're so lucky you have that. No, dude, you don't see the grind, the work, everything else, the overcoming adversity behind the scenes that got me to a place that when the opportunity presented itself, you didn't get there.
I don't believe in luck. Luck is preparation. Well, just like the great philosopher Pitbull says, the harder I work, the luckier I am. Right? Great philosopher. I thought that was Socrates, but it's probably Pitbull. No, no, but Pitbull's been pushing it back out to people and they're loving it right now. And again, these quotes. So Mr. 305 is just dropping the heat right now? That's not even his quote though. No, it's not. No, that's what I'm saying. And none of these are. If you go,
watch everybody hit him up for royalty but that's what's so funny is these have been like you just said around for forever hundreds and hundreds of thousands of years i know hundreds of thousands of years about platitudes but thousands of years are you gonna start talking about jesus jesus no but it's it's been around that right but now all these guys are just taken i got lucky this is
but it's it's been honestly 100 not a hundred thousand but they that's what i laugh like everybody's like oh how can you be killed john called the covid spreader over here absolutely killed me no but it's you sit there and it's like oh that guy's a great as gary v says this or these guys all they're saying is the same shit that's been around i say that i say that all the time i go there's there's no new information there's nothing
new it's just it's just a new spin and it's a new frequency on it well george carlin had a good bit on that he goes i've said something no one's ever said before i want you to take that red hot poker and shove it up my asshole he's like no one's ever said that i created something finally original but outside of that there's very little it's gonna be terrible that's what's great about you know this new generation because we start throwing out these guys people half these people only know who they
are. They don't study this. Go to the source. Don't get the remix. Sometimes the remix is better. When is the remix ever better than the original? Name a remix better than the OG.
I mean, anything that DJ Khaled did. That J. Cole one. DJ Khaled. R. Kelly's remix. J. Cole's got one where I love the beat and then he fucks it up and the beat goes really soft after it. But this one just kept the beat hard the whole time. Like that was a much better remix. Only one I can think of. You can relate to somebody else. Right. Like,
Somebody's going to relay a lot more to, let's hypothetically say, Pitbull than King David's version of that Bobby Schmurder song. That's a better one. That's the one. All right.
well then this is the cult this should just it's like it's made for you from kato it's brand for you i begin to speak only when i'm certain what i'll say isn't better left unsaid it's like that's like lincoln right no it well it is because if you think about it lincoln dude he said it's better to the was that lincoln he said it's better does it's better to be thoughtful than open your mouth yeah yeah i think it might have been lincoln i'm not sure but
But yeah, I begin to speak only when I'm certain that what I'll say is, is it better left unsaid? You can't unsay things. And I think more importantly, you can't untype things on social media. Like you got to take a break when something, when you get triggered and you want to write that diatribe on social media, just wait a second. Or even maybe if it's something a little too controversial, you might want to hold back on the like button. Like we have a policy here, social media, like here's, here's our policy within social media.
Within the company. If you write something on social media that is of a detriment to a protected class, you're going to go. And that includes like when somebody writes something that is blatantly racist or idiotic. Sure, sure. And the first thing it says is liked by this person. That's the same as saying it. That's the same as saying it. It happens a lot. It does, man. It happens a lot. So think about what you're doing.
Think about it. Ten seconds on lips, a lifetime in the heart, right? Like whatever you say, they're going to listen.
That's it. Take it to heart. That's it. Associate with people who are likely to improve you, Seneca said. Will I improve you guys? Yeah. Of course. Of course. Show me your friends. I'll show you your future. Like everybody says. I mean, if you're not hanging around people that are making you better, that's good. And here's the thing. When we talk about people that are going to make you better, I think, again, we've talked about this a lot. If every single person in your friend group thinks exactly the same as you,
You screwed up. Yeah, you screwed up because you're not exposing yourself to alternative ideas to alternative thoughts You're not growing as a human. You're not you just you're in an echo chamber That just is gonna rattle around here the same thing What do you think of the kind of groups group texts with guys have where you'll have a bunch of different people left left wing and right wing buddies and you'll Send memes. I have one that's a LeBron versus MJ
and I got one that's right-wing and left-wing, and I got a bunch of different ones, right? And everybody just roasts each other, but I think guys can do that. Yeah, I think so. I don't know if it's – I don't think women have those. In my experience – There's a lot of sensitive guys nowadays.
What's up? There's a lot of sensitive guys nowadays. No, no, no. But what I'm saying is I don't know if, like my wife doesn't have a chat group with girls where they're breaking each other's balls. No, no, no. Or like she likes this one thing. No, but they're supporting. They're actually supporting each other. They're supporting each other. No, but we support each other by breaking each other's balls. That's what I'm saying. The way different men communicate. Men communicate by having, like I have very right-wing friends and I have very left-wing friends. And sometimes they're all in group chats together.
right it's like fun oh yeah you know you break it up and see what happens yeah but it's but it's not hostile it's not you don't track each other down and start roasting each other because you're friends at the end of the day yeah of course you just disagree on something you can't do any that anymore because they screenshot it crop it and say yeah look at this guy he's an asshole he's a racist he's a sexist he's this he's that you know the people when you're just messing around the whole the
Raiders against the Chargers. Oh, they called the timeout because all these receivers were left open. No, it's because they cropped the screen so you couldn't see the DBs and stuff. And I think that's a problem is nowadays you got to be careful what you're doing because people can take and make and run with it. I can't wait for the deep fakes to come out.
really good that way you can burn everything that's how i'm everything deep fake tom cruise guy you see the joe rogan's chimpanzee hockey team i haven't seen that oh it's good dude the deep fake tom cruise thing looks exactly like tom cruise now tom cruise would be like oh that wasn't me yeah of course you can be like that was a deep fake that was deep perfect way out of stuff you almost wanted to get to that point yeah so now nobody knows so now it's just up in the air how's it me there you go
Seneca said we suffer more in imagination than in reality. 100%. 100%, which is, you know, again, worry, anxiety, all of those feelings. Borrowing worry. It goes back to your ego. Borrowing trouble for tomorrow. All that stuff, man. Yeah.
In most cases, I think if you look back in situations where you've been hurt in life or hurt in business or whatever it is, if you look back at your reaction to what happened, your initial reaction is always worse than the actual outcome. And I think that's human nature. And I think because one of the hardest things to do is to maintain balance.
being level when the seas are high. It's really difficult to do and it takes a lot of practice and it takes a lot of... Confidence though. To be measured is a certain level of confidence, right? You want to see someone's
There's this thing I like to say that sometimes people that appear inflexible, they want to pretend like it's because they're strong, where in reality they're brittle. Yeah, it's a flex. So I don't bend. It's not because I'm so strong. It's because I literally, I'm going to snap if I do, right? So if you can be measured to a response, say, I'm going to take a minute and think about this. If somebody called you up and said, hey, John, I just smashed into your car, and blah, blah, blah, and your response is,
Let me think about this for a little bit. I want to reflect on it. Because you're pissed off. So much better than telling you to go F off and do something stupid. No, no, no. The whole thing this is written about is you can't control what happens. You can only control how you react. How would you respond if I did something bad, crashing or whatever, and if I said, you said to me,
Hey, let me think about this. I just want to, you know. And that's one of the cornerstones also of stoicism is sometimes you've got to understand not having an opinion is a choice. Yes. Like not, you don't have to have an opinion right away to every single thing that happens to you. You cannot have an opinion. That's an opinion. You can defer it. You can defer it. And that's one of the things, if any of this thing, any of the stuff we talked about today that I can admit personally that I really struggle with, it's that because
when an adversity comes up, this is what I said a couple weeks ago, I'm going to stop watching Yellowstone because when people piss me off, my first instinct is to take them out of the barn and spray them up. That's like my first instinct is take them on the ride. I'm like, maybe I'll stop watching Yellowstone. But yeah, that's one of the things that I do struggle with. And that's honestly where Gavin is a great partner to me in the business is when things happen and I go, like I start to push that nitro button. He's like, slide your hand away from the controller, turn the key back. Yeah.
And let's think about this for a second. And, and, and yeah, and, and I definitely dial it back much quicker than I used to. Um,
But yeah, being very pragmatic in high-press situations, that's not going to the nuclear option sometimes. That's one of the things that I would say I still struggle with on this. So there you go. Well, let's talk about Epictetus because none of these quotes were from Epictetus. He's probably my favorite philosopher. Godfather. Yeah, born in Turkey, lived in Rome until he was banished and moved to Greece and finished out his time there. But I'd actually find some quotes from him because –
I think he's great. I love Epictetus' stuff. And here we go. So first I'm going to read his books are the training weights of the mind. This is what we talked about earlier when I said I had a quote coming up because I knew it was from Epictetus. If you don't invest in reading, and I'm not talking about the Twilight series. I'm talking about you need to make an investment in, I love philosophy. I love it. Honestly, retrospect, if I could have gone back in time and gone to school, I could probably see myself studying philosophy. Maybe you still will. I could see that happening.
But see, here's the problem. I don't need to do that because I can find, I'm studying it now. You are. You do, Liz. You study. The process of academia, though, sometimes gets lost. It's like actually somebody gives you an assignment. You have to draft something, right? No, I agree. But also the social media, YouTube, stuff like that is such a double-edged sword because it's so amazing for stuff like this. And it's so true. I find myself doing it. So I actually registered at CSN because I'm going to probably start taking some chemistry classes. Of course you did. God damn this guy does. That's funny.
That's because you want to be Walter White, though. No, no, no. It's not. He's going to be cooking another RV. I remember I took some. The power move. We kind of went after that. He's like, Cole, I got an idea for us. It's going to be the supercharged power move. It's going to be great. Super power move. There's going to be no more space in the valences. Full of valence shells. Avagadro. No, because there's things where I find what's challenging to me. Well, bio and chemistry in undergrad. I took them in undergrad, biology and chemistry. I thought I wanted to be a doctor for a stupid minute.
So I took hard sciences and they were difficult. Yeah. Far more difficult than the other stuff. So. Yep. No, I can totally see that. Epictetus, where then do I look for good and evil? Not to uncontrollable externals, but within myself to the choices that are my own. Take owner choices. Now I'm gonna skip right into this one because I love this one. I love it. I love it. I love it. I use this.
I use this with my kids all the time. And it's this. Epictetus said, anything or anyone capable of angering you becomes your master. Dude, you want, if your kids, okay, here it is. Look, if you got kids and they're fighting, you want to shut that down in a quickness. This is what you do. And one of them comes in and says,
he did this and blah, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. I'm just going to go, oh, so he's your master. He's controlling you. Well, he's got complete control over you because look how upset you just- Look how powerless you are. All he had to do was say something and you're completely powerless against it. So he must control you. And immediately, dude, no. It is a snapback of epic performance. Yeah, there is no more talent on that. That is just, oh my God. Yeah.
Because when you realize that people that can anger you or trigger you or upset you are your masters. That's your master. So I have a t-shirt. It's actually from Killer Mike from Run the Jewels. Yeah, I love Run the Jewels. It says, kill your masters. And that's a concept that actually means a lot to me at a philosophical level. Where my whole goal is to kill my masters. I want zero masters. I mean that even myself, I want to master myself.
I don't want people to control my happiness or anger, my finances or anything. Your only master is who you create. Your ego creates your only master. If you kill your ego, you will kill everything negative. Let's talk about some more ego stuff, Colt. We have two ears and one mouth, so we should listen twice as much as we speak. You've heard that for a million years probably. Epictetus said that. That's where it came from.
That's where it came. Oh, that came from a meme with Jonah Hill on it. So a lot of this stuff has parallels with Buddhism, by the way. Oh, yeah. If people want to enjoy some of these other sort of things with a different sort of delivery, they all kind of resonate in the same way, but that ego is your enemy. Yeah. It really does. It all comes back to it. No, it does. Just keep in mind, the more we value things outside of our control, the less control we have. So if you are someone that is...
very upset about something that's happening to you right now or around you, you've got to remember you're giving control away to that situation. You've got to harness how you feel about things
To find peace, to find happiness. And the more, again, this is kill your masters, man. The more people and things that have control over you, the worse it's going to be, whatever they may be. That's almost a great way when people are bitching about the political landscape either way and be like, I'm sorry you're a victim. Yeah. I'm not a victim. Yeah, you are. Because you're just triggered. 90% of people out there live in a victim mentality. No, they are. They are. Back to Epictetus. If you want to improve...
Be content to be thought foolish or stupid. This is why this is the number one reason why people don't get good at things. Yep.
Because they don't want to look like the idiot on the tennis court on lacrosse in business in business Whatever else I mean, there's so many times when you have a conversation and you know, I'll give this I love My partner that I do flips with Nick Marietta I love him for this point and we'll have a conversation about something and he'll just go I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah, and just be as matter of fact about it like I'm two years old like I don't understand what you just said and I
I love that about him because so many people, their default response in a business meeting, if something comes up or a concept or something that they have never done before...
A bunch of bullshit. No, no, no, no. It's fake it till you make it. Yeah, a bunch of bullshit. It's, well, I'm going to sit here and act like I know what you're talking about because if I act like I know what you're talking about, then I'm so terrified that you're going to think less of me if I don't understand what you're talking about. And the stuff we were talking about, he had no reason to know. And I knew he had no reason to know it. But again, a lot of people's ego would get in the way.
i think yes sir i had to tell a guy hey can you take me off speakerphone i could tell he's on speakerphone with his client i could do his client and everything i finally decided i go man you are weighing over your head
you're going to look like an idiot asking these questions on commercial this isn't residential yeah why don't you call me when you're not with your client so we can have a talk right like he just sat there and pretended i'm like oh my god and i won't i won't even go show them what's the cap right there because i heard that somewhere yeah lockbox ad and you know can i go in it right now yeah just stupid stuff you're like you're like no
199. He who laughs at himself never runs out of things to laugh at. Epictetus. Totally. I find self-deprecation when it's genuine. I find I am very self-deprecating a lot of times. I like to crack jokes at my own expense. I think the funniest jokes I tell are at my own expense, honestly. Except for maybe that, you know, the foreskin turtleneck is pretty strong today. But other than that. You look so funny. I just want to go like this. No, no. Other than that. I want to go like this. Just pop it out of the top of it. Yeah. Yeah.
Yeah. That was a bit. Yeah. If you don't watch us on YouTube, the visual that he just dropped, Colt just doc, please go to YouTube. There's a reason you should watch this. Colt just basically circumcised his own head. It was a, I can't even explain what just happened, but there you go.
Needless to say, he's still laughing himself, which is great. And we're going to finish this up with one last quote from Epictetus, which is freedom is the only worthy goal in life. It is won by disregarding things that lie beyond our control. If you stop focusing on things that are beyond your control, you will be free. If you like this and you want to continue, if you really want to get like scientific about it,
Read Meditations by Marcus Aurelius is a great place to start. It can read like Stereo Instructions in certain places. It's his diary. It's his diary from ancient Roman times. So it reads a little bit. But if you want something. No, but again, where I normally tell people to start out is The Obstacle is the Way by Ryan Holiday. It's classic stoicism written in a 21st century context.
is a good way to put it. And Ryan is a really smart dude. That book probably changed my life and business in life more than any other book I've ever read. I do revisit it. And like I said, I'm currently reading his book, Ego is the Enemy. I read everything he puts out when it comes to this stuff. Couldn't recommend it more. Wish I got money every time somebody heard that and bought a book, but I don't. But if you enjoy this man,
like we always say if you hated it you know sorry but if you loved it have you loved it tell four people yeah because remember it doesn't matter if you're talking good or bad colt as long as they're talking about as long as they're talking about you see you next time and your sweater
Hey, it's John Gafford. If you want to catch up more and see what we're doing, you can always go to thejohngafford.com where we'll share any links that we have things we talked about on the show, as well as links to the YouTube where you can watch us live. And if you want to catch up with me on Instagram, you can always follow me at thejohngafford. I'm here. Give me a shout.
