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From the art of the deal to keeping it real. Live from the Simply Vegas studios, it's The Power Move with John Gafford.
back again back again everybody really back again man super shout out already to you know what Colt you get no nickname today we're going with Chris Cutman Connell who threw the super cut up at
After I started talking and started this a few minutes ago and Chris hits me with the, bro, you're not recording. Stop. You gotta stop. So yeah, thank you for that. Sounded good. Welcome to the Power Move. My name is John Gafford. I'm your host to the left of me, Colt Amidon. Yes, it's Amidon, not Amidon. And Chris Connell Esquire.
And boys, we've made it through the year, man. The year is just about up and it's Christmas time, man. It sure is. It's Christmas time. You know, it's beginning to look a lot like Christmas. No. Vegas never looks like Christmas. It doesn't look like Christmas at all. Except for Bellagio. It's not the greatest. It really isn't. Bellagio is the greatest. I've been so busy. I finally got around to decorating the rest of my house like a couple
a couple days ago. Really? I finally got around to it. Yeah, we put the, you know, we threw the tree up with no ornaments on it like Thanksgiving day after we did that. Yeah.
Never got around to putting ornaments on it. And then, uh, and finally got ornaments on the tree like last week. And I finally got all the, all the banisters and stuff done. So now we're done. My wife had that stuff up like the day after Thanksgiving. I mean like all of it. I'm sure. I'm sure. She had a crew that came over, did the lights, everything. I let my kids put up my Christmas tree and it looks beautiful from my living room. But you walk in and my, when you come through my gates at my house, you see into my house and they didn't put nothing on the back of the tree.
I love those memes. Yeah, that's totally how that is. Who's that guy from Maroon 5? Yeah, Adam Levine. Adam Levine. And then Joe Exotic's husband. The front of the tree, back of the tree. I told my kids, I go, you realize people, everybody sees the back of our tree just outside, and they don't care. Well, I figured, you know, I'm sitting here thinking today, like, what are we going to do for Christmas? What are we going to do for the Christmas show? And I'm like, there's got to be so much about Christmas that Colt just hates. There's just...
There just kind of has to be so much about this. I'm not a Christmas person. Things that he's going to hate. And we can further prove that Colt may or may not be a pod person. So I found this article. I sent it out. I mean, do you guys really love Christmas? I love it. Is it your top three? Here we go. Is it your top three holidays? Oh, my God. It has to be. It has to be. I mean, other than people. You know what? I get to see my family, and I like my family. Every year I get a phone call from somebody on Christmas Day trying to work.
Trying to what? Trying to work. It's always one of my Jewish clients or Jewish friends. Like, hey, it's Christmas. Closed mouths don't get fed. Yep, yep, exactly. And maybe they're calling to give you a gift of a big deal. Did you ever think of it that way? I'll take it. I'll work 365. I will too, but it's never been that. It's always stupid. I had to take calls on my wedding day if it was a big enough deal. Well, I took one walking down the aisle. I'm paid for my wedding.
on a deal, somebody was trying to talk to me about real estate. Walking down the aisle. Walking down. I go, this isn't time. They go, oh, that's right. And I sold them a property. There you go. There you go. Well, I figured what we would do is we would go to the manliest place you can find to find real estate.
holiday traditions and see if we think they're overrated properly rated it's something that you do do or something you would never do or more importantly something that colt finds so offensive that i can get him to spin down the rabbit hole on an absolute i just want to say we can just go say everything's overrated and just be done with this podcast family
We're going to break it down. So number one, according to good housekeeping, is create some sort of... Yeah, good. Now you're into it. Now you're excited about good housekeeping. Now you come to life. One of my top three favorite magazines, next to Maxim and Playboy. Now you come to life. I like it. All right. So create a countdown routine, i.e. the advent calendar. Do you have an advent calendar or some sort of a countdown in your house, Connell? I sure do. I have children, so...
You know what's funny, though? I thought this was kind of a neat advent calendar. It's not the chocolates. We grew up with the 25 chocolate calendar thing. And we really look forward to it. And I remember how slow time moved back then. Yeah. Because it was forever until your next chocolate. Like a whole day. It was a whole day. So we can get into the psychology of time, which freaks me out.
But my daughter had one that has little charms in it every day. Yeah. So she opens up his little bracelet. So now she's all blinged out. She's walking around looking like Mr. T because she puts them all on one. Because she blinged it out. She blinged it out. So it's this little advent calendar, just little trinkets. Yeah. I kind of like that idea more than chocolate. So what about you? What say you, Colt? We never do, but...
Somebody gave me one for Giovanni and Giovanni opened them all the same day. It was chocolate. He doesn't like chocolate. So he says, daddy, look, this one's a bear. And then he tells me, throw it away. Daddy, look, this one's a whatever. Throw it away. I just feel the good tidings.
seething through his body right at you like a laser beam. In the Gafford household, we've always had one traditional Advent calendar that has little things that come out and hang on the door, little wooden ornament things and little wooden deal. We've got that one. And in the past, we have done where they get little chocolates or they get, we did a Lego thing one year for Hayden or whatever. So yeah, I
I think having a countdown thing, especially if you have children, is important. It's nice. It's nice to pump the brakes on time. Yeah, it is a little bit. It is a little bit. And I think that's a good family member for them, too. Go out for Christmas Eve dinner. Do you go out for Christmas Eve dinner or are you staying home? Colt, what say you? Oh, no. Both my family and my wife's family, Christmas Eve is the actual party. Everybody gets hammered, drunk.
Have a good time. Kids get presents. Christmas. So you do all the presents Christmas Eve. Not all of them. My wife's family does all of them. We don't, but we do a present. We, we do huge parties Christmas Eve. So, so yeah, so you get absolutely hammered Christmas Eve. So your kids wake up at 5am and you're hung over now. Yep. Oh,
Now see, this is all coming together as to why he hates Christmas. Yeah, Christmas Eve is huge for us. We never go out eating on Christmas Eve. It's the same thing. We have meatball sandwiches, pasta. We'll have the exact same stuff every year. For consistency, by the way, Colt did list a meatball sandwich in his top five. He did. He did.
Chicken parmesan. We went to lunch today, and we were trying to get something light, and the place we were going to eat that was light was really busy. So right next to it was Carmine's, which is delicious. And I look at Colt, and I look him in the eyes, and I'm like, you need to hear this. You don't have to order the chicken parmesan sandwich, Colt. You don't have to order it. It's on you if you do it. I think it's a pretty nice one. We always went for Chinese dinner on the 24th. My wife doesn't open presents on the 24th. We did my whole life.
All of them? Yeah. Is that a Canadian thing? I don't know. It was my parents' thing. We'd go for Chinese food. They didn't want to get up early. We'd go for Chinese food. We would open the presents, and we'd, like, buckle around that night, and it was fun. And do that. Yeah. See, with us, and luckily, we're able to continue the same tradition with my kids because I moved my mom here several years ago on Christmas Eve. We'd go over to my mom's house. She does, like, an hors d'oeuvre thing. She gives them their gifts. They're allowed to open one gift Christmas Eve because the majority of the mayhem is going to happen the next day on Christmas Day. So that's where we go with it.
that. Why is it always a Chinese restaurants open? Because they don't celebrate Christmas. Yeah. There's a Christmas. I know, but like your Chinese clients call you or just the Jewish ones, just Jewish, always Jewish. Maybe, maybe expand your networking. And maybe I need to. Yeah. I don't understand this. Make the tree special. It says, um, for us, I know we try to let the kids get an ornament every year. Um, just to give Gidget one more thing to cry about when they're all gone, uh, is I believe the purpose for that. Uh,
But yeah, I think that's our little thing with the tree. Do you have anything special you do with the tree? We all give our godchildren ornaments every year too. But no, I think people sit there and sing a song around it or that Brady Bunch type of family. We're not that family. My wife has a thing where we don't put presents under the tree until Christmas Eve. Like none of them. None. I like to see it grow a little bit as you go. Because she's like, well, Santa has to bring them. Exactly. Yeah.
Yeah, that's true. That's true. All right. Cook together on Christmas morning. Nope. No. No. I think this was, okay. This would not be written if it was written in sports illustrated. This is obviously a good, good housekeeping. Cause you know, most of the time, if you've got small kids and you still get to go through this, you're going to be up deep putting shit together.
Oh, yeah. And you're still there. That Barbie Dreamhouse, son, don't call me because nobody helped me. I'm not helping you. It's just how you're going to have to get through that yourself. So, yeah, traditionally, you know, I was the putter together of things. Get that one screw that holds the battery. And let's face it before the car is so small. Yeah. But let's face it before the card starts, you really just got time to throw the cinnamon rolls in a good cup of coffee anyway. That's all you got to go with that. Number five, take a family photo.
That's pretty nice. Yeah, I think... We do it... Yeah, I'd say we do that 90% of the time. We do Santa Claus pictures. We had to... For my mom...
Our family's whole thing is you have to do Santa Claus pictures until you have kids. Then it can pass off. So if you're 30 with no kids, I was doing it at, you know, my brother was doing it at 30 years old, Santa Claus pictures. That's kind of what we did. So you have to send mom a Santa Claus picture until you have an offspring to replace said children in Santa Claus. Yep. So we do that. And it's funny. A lot of friends typically not actually like a hired Santa. It's just a guy with a white beard on E Street. Something random. Yeah.
Yeah, exactly. It's not a real Santa. Can I sit on your lap? We were passing and my daughter goes, they kind of creep me out, guys that are Santa Claus in the mall. And I sat there and thought about, kind of creepy. Yeah, because they don't like the smell of bourbon. Whereas you do, Cole. Whereas you do. I'm like, I bonded with Santa. Speaking of this, I got a question because I thought this was a little strange. Have you guys been to the Summerlin?
Like Christmas thing at the ballpark? Did you go out to that thing? Did you go out there? Oh, no. It looks nice, but it's like 50 a person. But here's the problem. It's too nice. Like we went out there Friday, and no offense, but I think that in itself summed up the difference between Summerlin and the rest of Las Vegas, which is it essentially was nothing more than a giant Instagram backdrop.
backdrop is really all it was. It was, there was no soul to it. I'm like, as I'm walking around, I'm like saying everybody in Summerlin sold. No, I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm not saying that. I'm just saying, I'm saying I tell, I tell people, I tell people, I tell people when they ask me what the difference is between Henderson and Summerlin, I tell them it's the same difference between Dallas and Houston.
And you go to Dallas, and there's going to be a guy with a $3,000 hat on that's got $50 in the bank. You go to Houston, there's a guy driving a pickup truck with 100,000 head of cattle, and you have no idea.
And I think the money is a little more hidden in Henderson than it is in Summerlin. And Summerlin's very flashy. I totally agree. Did you watch Yellowstone? I did. I might have to stop watching Yellowstone. I might have to stop because literally my visceral gut instinct in dealing with people in business when they're difficult is take them by the bar and string them up.
That's my instantaneous response. That's already my default. The last couple of years. My default emotion. I want to become a cowboy now. I know. You want to get into a question? Pretty badly. How could you not? How could you not? But back to the Christmas thing on the pictures. Opportunity Village, I don't think you're in any danger of losing your money because I love the kitschiness of Opportunity Village with that little train and the stuff. For Christmas, I'm not.
I don't want perfectly packaged. Yeah. Perfect. I want kitschy. I want kitschy. I don't like sterile in general. Yeah. Unless it's Santa. I'd do a sterile Santa. I'd prefer that. Just sanitize. Sanitize Santa. Sanitize. That's it. That's it. All right. Next one. Send letters or cards. We were just talking about this. We were just discussing the Christmas card and the...
So let's talk about Christmas card etiquette. Like when you get them, how long do you keep? Do you keep them through the whole holidays? Do you have that whole thing covered? Do you find yourself, if there's a card attached to a gift, do you keep the gift attached to the card? I mean, you're on my, you're on my very lovely Christmas card. Thank you. You didn't know you sent me one. You probably didn't know you sent them out. I didn't know we sent them out. Did I send any of you them out? No. Not yet? I don't think so. I think we, no, I don't think we got them. I don't think so. I got John's. I mailed them like on Friday. See, we are-
Me and my wife, we're just not that type of family. I wasn't the last couple years. I always mean to be. So this year I did it early. I said, no, we've ordered the cards to mail out. My wife has two or three years of cards that were never mailed out because by the time we got around to it, it was like –
I'm not sending February. I will tell you this, and I'm not one that does it, and we probably should do it more. I am all about the funny picture Christmas card. At least you're making an effort. Remember when I dressed up as a cholo and had the suicidal tendencies hat on? I think I do. The bandana. That was my favorite. We set those ones up. Yeah, that's high quality Christmas card. And I think even we did this year because we just had those pictures taken for something that we did. Yeah, we got yours. Yours and the kids. It's just a very sterile family picture. Yeah.
I felt no effort for that. And honestly, if you got it, I appreciate you getting it. You look nice. Look at it. You don't have to keep it. I mean, if I send you something funny. So I think, I think Christmas cards have a much greater effect when they have some level of humor or self deprecating. Yeah. I like, I like when they're cute personally, but just, yeah.
I appreciate getting them, though, because I remember everyone who sent one so far. I did, too. I've gotten a bunch of them. I remember every single one. How did you? Because that became your Christmas gift. None from Amidon, but it's okay. Honestly, if it's up to my wife, my kids won't even get presents. God, what a gem. She's a national treasure. She really is. Just hold her close to you. And I'm not either. We don't. That's on John at Lunch. We do not give each other presents, me and my wife.
This year I was like, oh, I found something you want. I'm going to buy it from you. Guess what? It showed up three days later. John and I just want to make it difficult for our wives to buy us presents, but that doesn't mean I don't want a present. You know what I did this month? I made it easy on her. Whenever I had the impulse to buy something starting from about Thanksgiving, I just texted her.
So Caitlin got me that. And what I did is I went and bought everything on her list indiscriminately. Okay. Yep, yep, yep. I'm like Ron Burgundy. I just read whatever's on the teleprompter. Bang it all down. Yep, exactly. I went Christmas shopping. Dyson hairdryer? Bam. Two nights ago, I went Christmas shopping. I walked out of there with two coats for me, and that was it.
I feel like we need to do, I mean, forget a show. I think we need to do a whole series into Colt's family. Let's do like an MTV style Cribs or like Follow Me. Listen, I'm telling you right now. It would be Davidoff Cigar Bar. If you are by chance listening to this and you're any type of television producer,
Follow Colts favorite around with cameras. How could this not be a number one hit? It's like Al Pacino and Scent of a Woman. Don't lose them, embrace them.
My family is, you know what? My daughter's the most ruthless one out of us all. And she is so sweet, innocent looking. Yeah, when she heard me even talking about maybe not being able to make the quinceañera yesterday, she came around the corner with a quickness and gave me that. Yeah, like, mm-hmm. You trying me, Holmes? What's up? Hey, Holmes. I didn't say for sure we were going to be able to come. I said maybe we couldn't come. John's like texting his wife. We're going to die now. We're going to die. Oh.
Oh, boy. Okay, I don't even know what this is. You remember how we had the audacity to schedule our anniversary on her kids? Yeah. Can you believe that? Can you believe we did that? Has anybody heard of this? Celebrate Sinterklaas in early December.
Sinterklaas, known as St. Nicholas Day, is celebrated on December 5th when Sint tradition leaves a small gift. Has anyone heard of that? Yeah, the shoe. You barely celebrate Christmas. Is this a Netherlands version? This sounds like something Dwight Schrute would do on The Office. It's a European thing. It's a European thing. All right. Yeah, no, we did it. We used to leave a shoe out. Leave a clamshell underneath the clogs.
You used to leave a shoe out and they'd give you some sort of present. So you've heard of this? Oh, yeah. It's a European thing. Okay. Something about a streusel under your clogs. Spaniard. It's either through my Spaniard side or my Italian side. Whatever it is, it doesn't sound like freedom. No, it doesn't sound like freedom. Tell me what to do two days a year. You get one day a month. You can't tell me what to do. Two days a month. Leave my shoe out. Number eight.
Choose a fun tree topper, which I think, I mean, don't you marry to the tree topper once you buy it? Yeah. They make them too heavy now, though. Somebody had a meme going around that said, I couldn't choose between a star or an angel, so I picked both. It's a picture of Brendan Fraser on top of the tree. Yeah.
That's awesome. Oh, that's awesome. I didn't choose between a star and an angel. Yeah, we go with the star, but they seem to be just getting heavier and heavier. Trees can't support them. Yep. You know what I do? Here's a piece of umbrage I do take with the star on the tree is when they don't give you very much to plug into, you know, because you've got to light that up. It needs a power source. Come on, tree light people. Let's get some slack on the thing. Yeah. Some cost-cutting initiative back in the 80s. No.
give it just carry it over make your life difficult now that's what it is no so i mean i just wanted another extension cord down the back of the tree yeah yeah come on you have to you have to number nine host a movie marathon i think have you watched any christmas movies i watched die hard and home alone that's all you have to die hard best christmas movie ever die hard die hard
All right. Right. Colt. Best Christmas. Home Alone. Die Hard. And then three is Christmas Carol with Alistair Sim. I read the best meme the other day. It said, keep in mind that Kevin McAllister could have called the police at any time and been safe. He wanted the war. He wanted to hunt the men. He wanted them to die. He enjoyed it.
I was like, is he going to just call the cops? Or you can't tell me not one neighbor was there. You know what the best Christmas movie is? It's Friday After Next. That'd be my top one Christmas movie. How is that a Christmas movie? Sorry, go on. DJ Pooh wearing a Santa. Remember the Santa Claus...
Santa Claus robbed them. They put a party on. I hate Christmas movies. You know what the worst is? What's the one where the kid gets her eye shot? You're going to get your eye shot out. What movie is that? A Christmas Story? A Christmas Story. Oh, my God. Could they make a worse movie? No, you got to watch that at least once during Christmas, dude. You got to. I will watch. Miracle on 31st Street? Horrible. Every time an angel dies.
Whatever it is. An angel comes alive. Whatever it is. I will watch Christmas Vacation. Yes. That's hilarious. I'll watch that every time, and then I'll watch. There was one more I was going to say, and I forgot. Must not have been that good. Yeah. So, John, you remember. So I don't want to blow anything, because I feel like this is something people don't know about. If they did know about it, they would be a lot more expensive and less available. Okay. So you cut this out if I'm going to have something on. Yeah, if it's going up, go ahead. But Christmas Vacation is one of the Cinemark you can rent out a whole theater for.
We did that last year. A hundred bucks. I think we did do that last year. We did that last year. We did that last year. It's a hundred dollars. Yeah, we did that last year. And we did that last year. So that was a new movie. That was that one where Russell Crowe's all fat. No, no, no. No, no, no. Me and John went with the kid. We did it. We did it for Christmas Vacation. Yeah, so Christmas Vacation is one of the ones you can do. It's a hundred bucks. And there was something about that movie that we were like, I'd never seen that before. It was either the very beginning or the very end.
Maybe it was a cinematic version. Maybe it was. I don't know. Scrooge. I like Scrooge. Scrooge is pretty good. Scrooge is great. Bill Murray. Bill Murray. Yeah, I wore my Bill Murray socks yesterday. Yeah, so getting a movie theater together might be something that's pretty smart. Yeah, that could be cool. Yeah, you know, again, get the fan together, the people together, and go run a movie theater. I like that. I like that.
carefully selecting a tree. I think this is a geographical thing. Yeah, we did that growing up. We used to get nice Christmas trees, but now everything's fake. Now get a fake tree. I can, I can, I can remember going, I can remember going to like a tree farm once as a kid with like my dad. Yeah. Once Florida,
Yeah. Really? No, dude. Okay, my dad was like into everything. I guess. He was- They have tree farms. Well, yeah, my dad owned a tree farm. That was the point. That's true. Not Christmas tree. No, no, no. Well, they're pine trees. So you own tree farms, which are pines, and then you sell- Pine trees. I'm aware of what kind of trees they are. Are they-
No, it's actually, tree farms are a great business. It costs you nothing to run. And then in every fall, you sell the pine needles to the landscaping people who come and get the pine needles. They harvest them to use for mulch and whatever. And then eventually you cut the trees down and sell them for pulpwood is what you do.
Didn't know that. Yeah, that's a good one. I remember doing that as a kid. But yeah, I don't understand, especially here in the desert. Why do you have an actual tree? A new Christmas tree. Somebody has a tree? Fire hazard. I've never seen somebody with a real Christmas tree in Las Vegas. No, no, I haven't. I saw it...
It was a meme with like Keanu Reeves had one strapped to the hood of his Porsche or something the other day. Oh, yeah. I did see that one. I was like, wow. But no, get a fake tree. That's John Wick. He can do whatever he wants. That's a good point. The question is, I bet he personally killed that tree. I bet he did. Shocker, but I like John Wick. Like a pencil. Yeah, he used dental floss and soldered it down. Okay. All right. See, here's where we're getting to the dark side. We're getting to the dark side of Christmas right here.
Spread a little magic with Elf on the Shelf. I absolutely hate that, and I'm sorry. So my daughter cried today because it was time for recompense.
She touched one of them. She knows good goddamn well that if you touch an elf... You know how much money that just saved for you in presents, though? Good Lord. No, no, no. You touch one. She's two and a half. Yeah. She walks downstairs. I don't know if my kid's smart or just obsessed about this elf, but she walked... I put them all in the tree because I had to go. I was doing morning jujitsu, so I was changing them out. Put them on the tree. There's only four, and she's used to five because my daughter brought hers over thinking she's doing us a favor by having more elves. Oh, God. Like, thanks, Ava. Yeah. Anyway...
I'm still mad about it. You got five to hide? So we got five elves we got to hide every day. So they're up on the thing and whatever. So she touched one of them. But it's always a group outing. You don't split them off. It's a group outing. Okay. I don't know. It's really not that much more. You still have to account for five as opposed to one. Yeah, it's a pain in the ass. You can do 20% as much with five as you can with one. Yeah. So she touched one. So he's gone. So I had to hide him in the thing because he goes back to North Pole. He goes to the hospital. We're like, remember you touched him? She's like...
starts crying christmas traumatization perfect good job you touched the elf i didn't make the rules
My son's such a dick. He went to a house, and they're like, you can't touch the elf. I mean, who doesn't want to grow up in Colt's house? I know. And he sat there, and all he kept doing was walking by, slapping the elf and laughing. And the kids were freaking out, crying. And he thought, he's laughing. I'm like, yeah, that's my kid. We don't do the elf on the shelf. I mean, my kid knows they'll get their ass whooped if they don't do good.
We had, so we gave our off on the shelf and name, which was, I think you have to, I'll give them all a name. Right. And the first one was, uh, it was Henny Denny Dew was that was the name that my, my kids gave this elf. Right. And then of course, from year one to year two, almost planned by Hallmark, I believe you lose the damn thing. You forget where you hide it. Right. Cause you don't put it with the Christmas decorations cause you got to bust it out. Like the kid has to find way before you can't find way before. So that's gonna be different.
So we lose, we lose Henny Denny do. So we're like, what are we going to do? We got to go to another one. And now it's like caught on. So we go to the store and we have to find the only one we can find has different hair color. So originally you're like, they won't notice. Yeah. My household. So then we have Henny Denny Bob. He did. He do was on vacation.
And so then we kind of had to alternate between the two. I don't think they were ever necessarily in the house together, but I got to tell you, there were many, many a night when I would wake up, you know, you're like down asleep. Yeah. In that twilight period, really? And I'm finally just, you know, it's over there. Oh shit. And you're like, I gotta move this damn elf. Fucking elf. Yeah. You gotta come with the elf. And I, you know, look, everybody wants their children to believe in Santa Claus for as long as possible and have that Christmas magic and hang on to it and really love that.
But there was no finer moment in my life that I found out the elf was bullshit because I'm like, I'm never hiding this thing. Sing it again. You're like, this is awesome. I'm done with it. We don't do that. The two things you want to get over is that and having people give your kids gifts that make noise. And real quick, if you're under like eight years old and you're listening to this, first of all,
Go to bed. Very proud of you. Very proud of you for listening to something that's going to help you in your life. But also, yeah, Santa's not real. Let's go cut to the chase and save you some trouble. Stop buying people gifts that make noise. You better make sure your social media guy doesn't cut that up and throw it all over your Facebook. Anthony Romeo, before he had kids, used to love to buy my kids gifts that made like, he would, oh, dude. Ruff, ruff, ruff, ruff.
He would bring it over. Oh, yeah. Just you thought it was the funniest thing ever to do that. Now he has kids. It ain't so funny. So do you buy him now? You should buy him one of those piano sets or. Oh, my God. Drum sets or those relentless. And he's got saying he's got two and one on the way. I should get them all like the whole band. A whole band.
Make it something obnoxious, like something that belts out the whole frozen. There is nothing. The whole song. Just the whole thing. There's nothing more obnoxious than drums. My kid plays drums. He starts, and I'm like, just let him do it. It's good for him. Yeah. Like 30 seconds into it, I'm calling. He doesn't answer. I call my daughter. Go in there and tell him to freaking shut up. I hate drums. I hate the drums. Jesus. You know what? I like to think of it. What's it like living up at the top of Mount Crumpit? Yeah.
How's Mount Crumpet this time of year at the very top? He's going to steal Christmas for sure. Call this dog up there and just plot it. My dog and my wife. She's worse than me. Just plotting it. Number 12. Use a nutcracker. I mean...
Is anybody like feasting on walnuts anymore? My kid's allergic. So I don't know. But I mean, it's nice. I mean, I guess my grandparents always had one. So there's a bit of nostalgia for me. Yeah. There you go. I don't have any. In fact, there's a complete absence of nuts in my house these days with, you know, having two daughters, a wife and a female dog. Oh boy. So keep talking on that. There you go.
Number 13, get in touch with Santa. Having kids write the letter to Santa. Did you ever have kids like me? Did you ever throw a phone? Did you ever do that? Write the letter out? Yeah, but I'm in the stage where I have one who's 13 and one who's two. Yeah. So the two can't do it yet and the 13 hasn't done it in years. Yeah. Kids don't do it. God, you guys make me feel like I'm a shitty parent, but no. Well. Well. Sorry. Sorry.
Sorry about that, buddy. We were trying to make you feel that way, but if that's kind of how the ball bounces... You guys feed your kids three times a day? Wait, what? You feed them? That's a thing? You're just handing out love over them? Did you guys watch the dateline of the family that had like 13 kids and kept them
the duggers or something that was super sad the kid's like 30 years old and he sounds like a 12 year old they don't they don't even know what medication is the cops ask them medication anyways yeah that's dreadful i i do that's not the duggers that was that was the lady that uh that was the lady that in utah that was treating her uterus like a clown car she had like 27 kids and counting or whatever it was it's like come on lady come on now you're just showing off yeah you got to
And the oldest one, I think, just got popped by like kiddie porn or something. Oh, yeah. Because he never had a childhood. Probably. Yeah. Like, I'm serious. You're an adult. Now you're raising these other kids. That's how it works. All right. Well, let's take a break. And then we're going to come back and Colt's going to spread some more Christmas holiday cheer. Hey, it's John Gafford. If you want to catch up more and see what we're doing, you can always go to thejohngafford.com.
We'll share any links of things we talked about on the show, as well as links to the YouTube where you can watch us live. And if you want to catch up with me on Instagram, you can always follow me at TheJohnGafford. I'm here. Give me a shout. Ho, ho, ho, mother truckers. Back from the break. I feel like, you know what?
I feel like, Colt, you're setting yourself up nice for like a Christmas miracle. Yeah, right? Yeah, like somebody's going to come put some joy in your heart. Maybe I am Scrooge. Maybe I'm the living Scrooge. You know what else? God, man. You know what I used to do, I did love, was Ben Crosby's Baby It's Cold Outside, and now these woke fucks make it so I can't even listen to that song. Yeah, that song's dead. But let's pretend. That's a great song. Let's take a...
I like where this is going. Let's take a trip down Colt's life as the ghost of Christmas past, present, and future. So if we go into the past, what's the Colt Amidon tear-jerking moment that you're going to see something that's going to turn you from the optimistic, anything's possible, the world is magical, into the cynical,
No, my kids did, right? My kids did it. Your kids did this. No, I absolutely hated Christmas. Okay, you did. I've always hated Christmas. Why? Because I think it's everybody's fucking fake. Hang on, hang on. You're seven years old. You don't hate Christmas. No, I didn't really love it. I really didn't.
I've never loved Christmas. I don't understand. It's possible. At the time of year, we got stuff. It was the number one thing I looked forward to. Yeah, but like I, we weren't like, we weren't rich. We weren't rich either. No, but you got stuff. That's the only time we really got the things that we wanted. You know what it was, was, you know,
You were dragged around all these Christmas, having to go see people do stuff. Just was not a fun time of year. I'd love that we got off to school. I wasn't a huge Christmas fan. I've never been a Christmas person. I mean, honestly, I absolutely...
Think it's overrated. I think people are fake. I hate running people at the mall that you absolutely hate. And they come up and pretend to be your friend. Like, no, go fuck yourself. You don't like me. If this was June, you wouldn't like me. Like, I just, I think everything's fake about it. I hate having to take fricking days out of my year to go shop for people. Sorry. I don't like you that much. You're spending me on goose chase. I'd like to point out.
Cole does take time out of his life to feed the homeless and do a lot of worthwhile things. So if you're listening to this for the first time, you're like, who the fuck is this guy? Like, A, you're kind of within your rights to think that. But he does have some mind. He also hates Tom Hanks. He does. Yeah, okay, there's that. Did you see Tom Hanks on, what was it? I just saw it on my, oh, Saturday Night Live. God, how obnoxious is that guy? Oh.
Screw him for being friendly. To me, if you want to buy me something, go donate it to the children. I hate it. What about a cigar cold? I'll go buy it myself. I don't need your presents.
I just, I feel like he's getting angry as this goes. I'm supposed to put him in a good mood. Now we're angry. God, no. Cause now you guys are like, I am. What's today? The 23rd, 22nd, 21st. What? I've not shopped for anybody yet. Now you're getting me anxiety. I'm like, Oh my God, I gotta go shop. I haven't got my kids shit yet. Like I'm sure your wife, I'm sure your wife has. Oh, absolutely not.
That's a prevention. I swear to God, my wife will say the kids don't need any more shit. They don't need presents. Like, I have to go buy my kids presents. So you're like that Jehovah's Witness family in the neighborhood. We'd be like, why didn't that kid get Christmas presents? I don't know. He's weird as fuck, though. So, okay.
I'll share my number one thing I remember as a kid, being like Christmas magic, and then maybe it'll inspire Colt, jar his memory to remember something in his dome that was positive about the holiday. But when I was a kid, so my parents got divorced, obviously, when I was about six. And one of the things you should never do is divorce a Southern attorney in a very small Southern town, because you're going to come up South on the end of that divorce decree. So yes, we got the house, and we always had roof over our heads and stuff, but it's
We didn't have a lot of money being kids, you know, and my mom worked very hard. And my dad in the early days, I mean, obviously made up for that later in life with college and everything. But in the early days when we were kids, not a lot of support coming through.
other than like food and house. So as a kid, I started playing drums and at one point I'd gotten my first real drum set, like real drum set, right? But it didn't come with any cymbals and I'd gotten it like maybe three or four months before Christmas. And my mom was like, well, you know, we'll see what we can do. We'll get you cymbals for Christmas. And I was like, cool, whatever. Right on, you know?
So, you know, here I am. Right on. Right on. Was that a symbol joke? It was. Yes, it was. Right on. See what I did there? And anyway, so I'm working through this thing. And so I'm playing my drum set, but I don't have any symbols. And I'm just tapping on the stands where they would be. And Christmas comes around and I open, my mom gives me a gift and I open up a gift and it's one hi-hat symbol. It's one. And I was so thrilled. And she was like, I didn't have the money to get them all.
But I got you this one and we'll see what we can do later on for your birthday. I was so happy to have the one symbol. I couldn't even stand it. Yeah. And then she was screwing with me and actually got me not just the high hat, but also the crash and the ride.
But I was so happy even just to have the one. It was like... Oh, because it's half the puzzle. Oh, dude, I remember that more than kind of anything. Isn't that kind of crazy how these things can mean so much to normal people who have childhood memories about people being thoughtful? Just so people are clear, like, I had the most amazing parents. My parents are the best. They made Christmas great. Again, I just... I've never, like...
You're like, I'm just broken. Christmas music? I'm just a broken man. Oh, my God. Christmas music's the most annoying thing ever. Mariah Carey, you don't listen to that on repeat? No, nothing. She makes so much money this time of year. Oh, my God.
have you seen have you speaking of the greatest memes ever have you seen them with all the goth guys dancing to mariah carey no oh dude i gotta i'm gonna have to pull this up and if you're not you guys keep talking i like it's that good they always use that like that got that uh that's that punk right that uh yeah the brave yes like they're like doing the yeah yes uh no she she makes bank good for her uh
You know, I like the Christmas. I like the snow. I like the days off. We had a good childhood. I had an amazing childhood. I want to hold it away from the mic a little bit just so you can't hear the music because we'll get hammered from using proper stuff. So I'm looking at it. What the? It's just everything. Oh, my God. I like that one when they do it. Okay.
If you haven't seen this, just Google goth people dancing tomorrow. Are they under an overpass? Overpass? Oh, my God. That video has brought so much joy to many songs. So much joy. I've never seen that. Yakety Sax to Benny Hill. So my positive memory didn't bring you into the normal world. Listen to this. Okay, my mother-in-law.
Who's touched. We'll just go with touch is an easy phrase. Like when the South people talk, when people from the South describe people. She's touched. Touched. Touched. And this is what she tells Gidget she wants to do for Christmas. Ready? She tells Gidget that she wants to give the kids, my kids, a Christmas card. And each of them are going to have a penny taped in it. That's what she tells them. Each one's going to have a penny. And so Roma's going to open up hers first.
And then she's going to say, what am I supposed to do with a penny? And then Hayden's going to open his. And just because he's nicer, he's going to say, oh, thanks for the card, Ama. And then I'm going to hand him $200. And then I'm going to say, and because you were nice about it, I was going to give Roma $200. I'm going to give that to Hayden, too.
This was my mother-in-law's Christmas miracle fucking plan. My wife is like, are you out of your gourd? Zero chance this is going to happen. Zero chance. I'm going to set a kid up for failure and do literally the least thing possible. That doesn't deserve niceness. No. It's like a
Fuck you. Complete. This is what you do. I might start that tradition. I might be like, I'm going to put all the gifts. Everybody that I see, I'm going to give a gift. That now has perked him right up. Shut up now. Have your fucking British tip up your ass. Australians or whatever. Oh, it's great service. I left you a penny. And that is the story that perks you up? That's the one that makes you go. I don't like it.
I'm going to watch people's reaction. If they really like love that, I gave him a card with this. That's not necessarily about gratitude because here's the thing. There's a cultural implication about Christmas. Yes. And your grandmother. And it's like you want to have like, here's the thing. As a kid, you look forward to something, right? You have expectations. Now. Yeah.
Yeah. You say, well, look at these poor kids in Turkmenistan who don't get the same. We don't live in Turkmenistan. Turkmenistan. Yeah, but you don't need that. You can go walk down the street and see that. It's our cultural tradition. We don't get things in the summer solstice either. No. So we have a thing. It's Christmas. All media television has a thing where that's –
you can expect a little bit of juice, 'cause you don't have the power to earn income. You're not out there doing stuff. The one time you-- - Well, this isn't China. - That's what I'm saying. - Get to work, kid. - It's also not China. You know what I'm saying? So it's like, yeah, that's the time when you shouldn't-- - You don't celebrate the summer, Solstice?
But you know it's funny in researching this I read an article along those lines Which said what's the worst Christmas gift you ever got this guy was like when I was a kid when I was like little kid and
My parents made me this really custom art set and they kept adding stuff to it. And as they would bring stuff home and go up to the attic to add stuff to this homemade art set they were making me, they'd always make jokes like, we gotta go feed your Christmas gift or we gotta take your Christmas gift for a walk. So instead on Christmas day when they hand me the amazing handmade art set, I was crushed in a puppy.
Because expectation is reality. Expectation is absolutely reality. And I think that's fair. You'll never be hurt. Like I said, you take a kid without the power to earn income, they have a thing because they can't go out and get it themselves, right? No. One time a year, it's okay to spoil your kids. I just feel that way. Yeah, but I think my kids are spoiled year long. Well, that's probably true.
Yeah. Well, they get to live with you, Colt. I mean, what more joy could they have? What more joy could they desire? Start a holiday. I had to force my family to put up a tree. My mom yelled at me one year because we didn't have a tree up. And I'm like, all right. And my kids are like, I don't want to put it up. You put it up. I'm like,
I feel like if you see Colt on the street in the next two weeks, give him a hug. I feel like you need a hug. Hey, how you doing, buddy? If you touch me, you'll get throat punched. Do not hug me, guys. I will throat punch you. All right. Anybody can send me a picture of hugging Colt. I will give you $20. And it cannot be a family member or someone that he knows. Hug Colt. Take a photo. $20 from me. Throat punch. Send me the picture and your Venmo, and I will send you $20 in a way that you can...
Random people can hug Colt in public between now and the new year. Feel free. Amidon. There you go. What did I say? No, I said Colt Amidon. Yeah, Colt Amidon. He's going to be your free kitty this week. Hug Colt. Hug Colt. $20. Send me your Venmo and the photo. And yeah, all good.
Number 14, start a holiday-themed collection. Do you guys collect anything from the holidays? No, I need less to collect. I want to collect less. I'm with that, too. Get it in, get it out. People are collecting. Oh, I get it. My family would collect these beautiful angels and stuff like that. Like the Hummel figures. Yeah, but you know what? I would like to move away from collecting unless it has historical significance. Dude, you would have more collection of anything. Yeah, but it's all cool stuff. I don't need more dishes. No.
No. You know what I'm saying? Well, little figurines that mean nothing other than having figures. I swear someone steals my forks. All right. Someone comes to my house and steals my forks. My problem right now is I'm battling the squishable battle at my house. Time to get rid of them. Dude, my daughter has...
I mean, it looks like the store when you walk. It's that many of these things. And now she's going to the swap meets with them and she trades at the Squishle Mall events and they trade them and hustle, which I kind of like that because she's teaching her how to hustle and negotiate. She's got inventory. Yeah, she's cutting some good deals down there, so I do kind of like that end of it. Number 15, go caroling or host a sing-along? Leave people alone. No one wants to hear your horrible singing.
If you're not Mariah Carey, do not freaking come and carry her. But if someone hits your ring doorbell and they're standing out there, I don't want a lot for Christmas. If anybody sends me a video of caroling in front of Colt Amadeus' house between now and Christmas. You are not getting through the guard gates. Trust me. Anybody call you're not on the guard gate, you're not getting through. Honestly, is that not the most annoying thing? I went to the country club's...
Christmas party. I had Carol right over my head. I'm like, shut up.
Shut up. I want my freaking old-fashioned without anybody yelling in my ear. Oh, my God. No? Not even tis the spirit, huh? No, nothing. As a kid, we would go to my mom's friend, Mrs. Anderson, and we would all go caroling as children through their neighborhoods. And in retrospect, I'm with you. Because there's that. You don't realize it as a kid, but as an adult, it's like if I had a bunch of kids standing outside my house singing,
You've got to kind of stand there in the doorway and kind of nod along and smile. Kind of look at them like, you know, game's on. How long? Is this a whole show? Is this one song? What's my obligation here to stay in the doorway? Yeah, I'm with you. That was, in all fairness, the day before the iPod. I think I have one for you, Colt. I think I have one. Play Holiday Hide and Seek.
My mom hides a pickle ornament on the Christmas tree for the family to find. I thought that was going to be something romantic to do with your wife. I was going to say, I play a little hide and seek. Hide the pickle. Watch the pickle disappear.
That's a completely different meaning of the M&A now. Now Colts starting to like Christmas. Hey, that's a tradition I get by. One time a year. I like it. That and summer solstice. Look for decked halls on Christmas Eve. What does that even mean? Take a stroll and check out the Christmas decorations online.
On Christmas Eve, look around. I do kind of, I appreciate people. That's a Halloween thing to me. Is it? I'd say I like Halloween decorations too. I want the Halloween decorations. Dude, some of the houses like Boulder City, legit. You know what? In Utah, it was always nice because it's gorgeous. There's snow. You probably did the same with Canada. Canada, tons, yeah. It's gorgeous. Christmas lights are like whatever, but in the snow, it is pretty. Yeah, I just appreciate the effort.
like you go full on out i'm not i'm not a curmudgeon about that stuff i think it's great and i i like when they have the parades like when people in the neighborhood got together and did big blowout decorations i thought that was a cool community thing i like i like the boat i like the boat parades i think that's cool too oh those are cool yeah when i lived in l.a they had a uh a street that they did it like it was awesome pretty cool newport boat parade's pretty cool that is cool
Good stuff. Let everyone open one present on Christmas Eve. Again, this is something that, yeah, that's what we do in my household. Yep, mine too. Everybody gets to open the one, but it's never anything good. I mean, I found this. It should be something they can play with that night, no? Yeah, like a remote control car. Like a video game? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Like we go to my Nana's house when I was a kid, and we would all get, and like I had a cousin my age, my sisters, like we all had like cousins our age, and we all kind of got the same stuff. And then you hit to that age when you're like 14. You know what I actually thought just for strictly...
nostalgia getting my son like the old the english leather gift pack the what like english leather cologne with the wood top on the english leather the cologne with the wood top just because like you know you're getting like some brute like 15 and that's what you're what is the christmas present you get excited for now so nothing i can mention on my wife last year so my wife got me the
Troy, 24 karat gold, 45 ACP. That's pretty custom handgun last year for Christmas. So that's pretty solid. Yeah. I was pretty excited. Yeah. Gidget. Yeah. Gidget always asked me, she's like, what do you want for Christmas? And I get that. I get, you know, a wily Christmas smile that she says that I can put under the tree. Yeah. Yeah.
There you go. There you go. That's the game we want. What do you look forward to? Honestly, anymore. And I saw again. That's why I get yearly. But I'll say this. I think.
Somebody put up a thing like, you know, when you ask your husband what he wants for Christmas and he says nothing. It's because Christmas is the joy that he gets watching you open your stuff and the kids open their stuff. That's enough. You know what's funny? It's the little things that you don't think about that make it special. My wife got me this thing. It's an iPhone charger that plugs into the golf cart that I keep on my golf bag. That thing has saved me countless times. And you wouldn't think about it, but it clips onto my bag, so it's always on my golf bag. You just unscrew it, the clip is there.
It's this wire that you pull through. It's like a little tiny pill looking thing. Unscrews. It's got an iPhone charger plugs because the golf carts have a USB. And so there have been times when my phone's not, Oh my God, what am I going to do? I have a charger. Yeah. I'm ready to go on the golf course. Yeah. I agree. It's always my, my wife is an excellent gift giver in that idea that she tends to listen to me all year round and just take notes. So she does. My wife, she doesn't punch me that day. So it's nice. Yeah.
Well, she probably knows the shelters are closed that night. It's weird, too, because she's Mexican. How is she not all about Christmas? It's such a religious tradition. They're about that part, but no. Not the gift gift? Not the gift gift. Honestly, my wife, honestly, I have to go buy the kids stuff. She wouldn't. What about the dinner, though, and all that other part of it? Oh, the dinner, tamales season. Get inside for that. Yeah. We have a good, not Christmas Day. Christmas Day is whatever. Christmas Eve is the party between both families. Okay. Mm-hmm.
Well, I'll say this. Let's see. Leave room for dessert is the next one. So just make sure. So of all the stuff, all the junk that comes out during the holidays, is there anything like you get on that you're like, I can't get off of? Tamales? No. So the number one thing that I do that I've, it's been really helpful the last few years is I keep my workout regimen the exact same. Yeah. Regardless of the day, Christmas day, I still go to the gym. Yeah. Yeah.
But it's the eating. I keep mine the same too. I just don't go. I just don't go. No, no, but because honestly you do feel like a sack of shit because you are eating a ton and boozing every night. Yeah, it's 365 days of the year for me. I love that peppermint bark, the white chocolate with the peppermint. Oh, I can't be around that stuff because I'll crush it. I had three pieces of that already today and someone sent it to me in a gift. And it's over. Yeah. Well, it had like a jar. It was all these designer chocolates to the client or whatever. Yeah.
And one of the things had these peppermint chocolate things. That's it. And I just found myself a crush that I finished a lot. I finished them off. Yeah, no, it's done. What about you, Colt? Is there anything that comes out strictly around the holidays? I mean, tamales. I don't know. Eggnog.
Dude, I dig it. I drink eggnog last night. Really? I've only had half a glass. I've had two glasses of eggnog this year, and I've really let myself down. So here's a funny story. So when I was a kid, my grandfather made homemade eggnog. He would start making it. No, it was really good, but he would start making it right after Thanksgiving. My grandmother, who was a complete teetotaler,
Had no idea what he put in it. He put bourbon in it. That's why grandpa's eggnog didn't taste as good as the poor one. That's right. No, no, no. So my grandmother would be drinking this eggnog all through Christmas and be a little half in the bag the whole time. And like he'd go over and she'd be like, oh, the glass eggnog. I have no idea because she was a super titan. All their kids were born in September. Yeah, pretty much. Pretty much. Pretty much. So yeah, that was always funny that he would sneakily get my grandmother drunk. I was born...
August 23rd, yeah. Right about that time. Never put that together. A little Christmas miracle. A Christmas miracle. Yeah, I should like Christmas more than, you know. You should. Eggnog's half a glass top. Oh, do you? No, you can't drink more than one glass at a sitting. No, no, no. But you buy the light eggnog because it's just half.
No, the light eggnog sucks though. It doesn't taste the same. You can't get a little bit pregnant, Conor. If you're going to drink eggnog, you drink. But I'm saying there's literally 2,000 calories in a glass of real eggnog. You go right for the Southern Comfort brand, son. That's the one you drink. That's the one you drink.
So yeah, 21, this has got to be you because I don't even know what this means. Celebrate La Noche Buena. Ooh. No? No. Many Latinx cultures across the world celebrate the good night on Christmas Eve with feasts from whole roast pig to hot noodle soup. I'm in. The evening often involves music, dancing, and even fireworks. That's what you do. Mm.
Well, this is the Dominican Republic. Is this your big thing? Do you just not know what it's called? No, but that's what we do. But that sounds like a nice bowl of ramen to cover all that. The pig, the noodles. Ramen, so good. I like ramen. I was about to say, if you were about to shit on ramen, I was about to leave. But you know what I ate? I got food poisoning off of pho once. It ruined my ramen. It's like hot water. Oh, God. With chicken in it. Yeah.
It's like boiled in the soup. Okay, let me ask you a question. It was a worst. We drank hot water in Egypt. Have you ever been that sick drinking hot water in Egypt?
Stand corrected. I called it out. There you go. They brought out the pho and with the chicken in it. We're the only ones in the restaurant. And everybody's like, it's a great restaurant, great restaurant. I go, that's food poisoning all over. Of course, because I'm a fat ass. I'm like, I don't care. I'm still going to eat it. And yep, about eight hours later, that was a rough 48 hours. Oh boy. Oh boy. We won't talk about that. I love this one. Number 22. Teach your kids about giving back. I think so much about Christmas becomes giving.
What do I get? What do I get? What do I get? What do I get? And not enough of it is what do I give? What do I give? I dropped the ball on that one. Did you? Yeah, I don't take my kids out to do stuff like that. Candidly, it's going to sound really selfish, and I don't mean it to be because I give to charities as they come up, but that's just to send money. I get so busy around this time of year because everybody wants to close cases. This is the worst month for me because I love Christmas, and I want to slow it down.
It's already the 21st. I don't feel like it's December yet. It's already the 21st. I feel like there's things I have to do and I just have no time. So my problem is because I'm looking after other people's lives and interests too as a lawyer. Dude, I get it. And as a broker, you're worrying about other people's problems all the time. It's hard to be like, I'm going to carve a day out to go. No, no, no, no, no. But hang on. Again, that's why my little system of giving out a hundred bucks a day
Yeah. I'm around my kids. I'm around my kids in restaurants and places where I can do that, and they can see us do that. Are those people... Yeah. They see that happening. What's your concept of charity? There's this old Jack London quote that says, charity isn't giving a bone to the dog. It's giving a bone to the dog when you're as hungry as the dog. Okay. It's like charity isn't giving something when I'm not going to miss it or notice it. Real charity is giving something of myself that... Sure. ...you know, is difficult to give, and that to me is time. No, I understand that. I do understand that. But...
I think that when it comes to the idea of giving things, which is what Christmas is so much about, is the materialism. I'm not going to go into the materialism. I don't want to divulge into a debate on capitalism because I'm a free market capitalist. It's fine. Totally. But
when you really deal with the materialistic side of Christmas, it's good to teach your kids just, you can give away as much as you get. And it's better to give than it is to receive and to give that away. And when you see the reaction of some of the people, I mean, you know, some of the people are just like, hey, thanks a lot, blah, blah, blah. And some of the people you can tell are like, it's a big deal when I hand them $100. And that's the lesson. It's an easy lesson to let the kids learn. Yeah, half of Americans, people don't realize or live with.
living on paycheck away from disaster. Well, dude, case in point. So I idiotically bought the wrong tires for my Jeep when I had it. This is like six months ago I did this because I ordered them online and I wasn't paying attention and then they got shipped to the...
the tire store and I took the Jeep there and I didn't look at them before they put them on and they put them on and as soon as the Jeep came around, I was like, that doesn't look right. Turns out they were the wrong ones but as soon as they put them on, 'cause I didn't check them, I owned those tires. So I had to buy more tires so now I got the new tires on my Jeep but I have these brand new tires sitting in my garage.
and you know me being me hating to lose money so first you put them up for like yeah fifty dollars less than i paid for them thirty dollars and now you know six months later i'm so sick of looking at him in my garage i'm like i don't want to do this anymore so i throw them up on offer up over the weekend for 600 bucks come get these damn tires whatever and the guy hit me up immediately it came to the house
And this guy was like, man, I can't tell you how much I appreciate this. He was like, look, I mean, my tires are so bald. I've, you know, I got, they're going flat. I just haven't been able to afford to buy new ones. And it's just been such a siege and with it being Christmas. And he's like, you just will never know how much this meant to me. And I was like,
Wow. You know, I don't even, here I am thinking I'm getting something out of my garage and I'm helping this person in a way that was profound. It was really interesting. $1,000 worth of tires for $600. $1,400 worth of tires. Oh yeah. Yeah. $1,400 for $600. So he was, he was thrilled. I'm happy to have my garage back and there you go. So, you know, acts of charity can come from the weirdest places that you don't necessarily expect to see them. Or just reflections on it. Appreciating what you do have. They don't always have to be, you know, a straight up donation like that. It doesn't have to be that way.
You hate when people just swap out gift cards for gift cards as presents. I tax my kids when they want to do that. Hayden came home and he's like, ooh, we did White Elephant at school and I wound up with three $10 gift cards at Starbucks. So you want to buy them off me? I'm like, I definitely do. For $25. That was the number. He's like, whoa.
I'm like, hey, man. Whoa. It's the juice, baby. Yeah, it's not about getting what you want. You want to sell them, I'll buy them, but I ain't paying market value. You don't ever go to a check cash place. You think this is juice. I ain't no sucker, buddy. Yeah, learn that lesson now. Build memories, one gingerbread time and time. I don't...
Roma's done a gingerbread house, not something I do. We've done them all. Yeah, we've done them. Make the place settings special when you eat. I mean, do you guys, on Christmas Day, do you go out for a meal? Do you stay home? No, we cook. You cook? I mean, by we, you mean not me. Yeah. I have a real life angel of a wife, so she literally does all these. Caitlin does all these things. I have place settings and Christmas is done and all this stuff. She's all about it. She's taking care of it. She wraps all the presents for the kids. She buys all the presents for the kids, whatever. I'm just like...
Here's access to my bank account. If I stay in Vegas, I go out to eat. If I go to Utah, we do family things. I respect that.
Um, passed down family heirlooms. I got, man, some of my most, some of my most prized Christmas possessions are when I was a kid, my mom was very artsy. So we made these little guys out of clothespins, like wooden clothespins. Like there's a cowboy, there's like a juggler, there's a clown, there's Santa Claus, there's all just little clothespin people. Right. And when my mom divvied up the Christmas ornaments when we were kids, I love my little clothespin people.
It's like the best. I love those. So if you don't think little things like that, Colt, are important or will matter to your kids later, Colt, make that investment and make some stuff like that because when they're adults later in life, they will definitely appreciate it. Same thing can go on with this one is we're matching jammies. We do that too. I told my wife flat out when we got married, I said, look, here's the deal.
I'm never going to Disneyland and matching shirts. I'm never doing a matching Halloween. I'm just, I'm not, I'm not that guy to all go in the Gafford family. I'm not, I don't do, I just don't you find when it's corny though on purpose, intentionally the irony of being, no, I don't. I find it. I find it so incredibly nerve draining. What if I said to you, John, this is a cultism with me. I understand. Let's say we're going to take all three of our families to Disneyland altogether. Okay.
But we're all going to wear jorts, fanny packs, New Balance with high pull-up dad socks. Okay, that's fine. See, that's fine because that's like dressing like, like going out all of us dressed like... A hat with a flat brim. Yeah, I'm in. Hold on. I'm in. Are we talking shit on that? Because I wear jorts all the time. Making shirts that say like...
- Yes. - Some obnoxious, descriptive family trip. - No, no, no, okay, because, now back up, back up, back up, because you just added a whole lot of layers of fun for me. - So your love of absurdity is far surpasses your hatred. - Absolutely, we supersede that. Now if you just say we're all gonna wear the same shirt tomorrow, the answer's hell no. - If it all said con a lot, I'd be all right. - No, no.
Not a law. Solving all your problems. 702 Connell. I'm not doing it. But I will say the jammies, man, if you have kids, we've done the jammies and I was looking at those pictures and they popped up on my memories. It's fun. And it was, it was a nice memory. I'm such a curmudgeon about pictures. I'm like, fuck off. I don't like my picture being taken. It was good. Then I see the pictures and I'm always glad we took them. Took them. Yeah. The ugly Christmas sweater.
I got a couple. Do you? I think we have a couple too. I don't, I think that's a little played out. It's played out. I've never, I think it's over actually. I think,
I think when they started having companies, when you go to Kohl's, there's the ugly Christmas company. And you go and they're really not funny anymore. It was funny when. They were actual just sweaters that some company were just terrible. And now they have like Mr. T banging a goat on them or something. What does this even mean? I got some funny ones that, you know, kind of were funny at the time. And they've lost it. I'm that person. If you invite me to ugly Christmas party, I'm coming dressed normal. And if you got a problem, I'll just go home.
You throw a punch? I get it. You throw a punch, somebody? Come give me a hug, see what happens. 95% of Colt's response. Yeah, just throw a punch. Yeah, so remember, if you can see Colt between now and the new year, and you get a picture of you hugging him, send it to me and your Venmo, and I will send you $20 just because if anybody needs a damn hug during the holidays, it's going to be Colt for sure. Give him two. Don't ask for permission either. From all of us here at the Power Move, except for Colt.
Yeah, from all of us here at the Power Move, except for Colt, we genuinely wish you guys have a merry, merry Christmas with you and your family. And yeah, man, create some new holiday traditions. Go through some stuff you've done. Donate to the homeless kids. Go do some stuff. Do some stuff. And if you've got kids, man...
You know, go balls out. Because if you don't, this is what happens. This is your fate. This is your future. This is like the ghost of Christmas future. Ghost of Christmas future. You have heard your children in the future today on the podcast if you don't do this. My life's freaking awesome. So every day is Christmas. Every day is summer solstice. Every day is summer solstice. Every day is summer solstice.
All right, guys. Well, tune in next year. We're going to get back to our regular schedule. We'll do one show next week. It'll come out on Wednesday, and then we'll get back to our regular schedule of two shows a week going into the new year. Have a great Christmas, everybody. Merry Christmas. Happy holidays and all that. Merry Christmas. Festivus for the rest of us. Festivus for us. Kwanzaa. Kwanzaa. Enjoy. So, you know what?
We're just getting to the show with your parting words, Colt. What are they for Christmas? Go ahead. My parting words? Yes. Again, donate to the less fortunate. Donate to the less fortunate. There you go. Don't end it on a high note, Colt. That's not a high note. Everybody else, stop being fake. If you don't like somebody, don't go say hi to them. That's what I'm talking about. There you go. There you go. 20 bucks a hug. Send me your Venmo. Or a picture of yours. How's Caroline? Hey, it's John Gafford. If you want to catch up more and see what we're doing, you can always go to thejohngafford.com.
We'll share any links of things we talked about on the show as well as links to the YouTube where you can watch us live. And if you want to catch up with me on Instagram, you can always follow me at TheJohnGafford. I'm here. Give me a shout.
