Bumper boat fights and great marketing Ep.5
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From the art of the deal to keeping it real. Live from the Simply Vegas studios, it's The Power Move with Jon Gafford. What's happening, everybody? What is happening? Welcome to another episode of The Power Move here, as always, with Chris Connell, Esquire. And with...

The one and only, scotched up in the middle of the day, Colt Amidon. Welcome. Cheers, guys. Yeah, you just can't get enough. So, man, Connell, I wish you were at lunch with us today. Oh, God. The one thing about Colt I got to tell you is, you know, it's a gift. You can always just seem to say the wrong thing. Unintentional comedies. Yeah, what came out of his mouth today was he goes, he ate one point. I don't remember what we were talking about. I don't either. And this is the thing. John takes whatever and just totally...

No. He says it before he goes, because apparently I've lost the ability to turn anything on. Immediately it's like you go right to the wife, right? You have to. But do you?

Do you? I don't know. John is that friend that he doesn't have the dirty mind, but you have that friend who has a dirty mind, so you can't say anything without it turning into that. That's John, right? I'm pretty sure you said some things that kind of forced that hand right there as we go along. John's going to create the deep fake of him just so that the moment won't be lost to the annals of history. Dude, I can't. You know, the deep fakes are crazy.

I can't wait. I cannot wait for the deep fakes to take over because then literally we can come on here and say whatever banana town thing we want to say because you can just go, if it doesn't, if it misses. It was fake. Yeah, if it's a miss, it's, you know, deep fake. That's what you get. No, yeah, R. Kelly would be like, no, shoot. No.

That wasn't CGI. Yeah, it wasn't me. CGI. Yeah, that deep break is crazy. So the problem is that we already have an absolute society run by people that have no discretion or ability to discern truth from fiction.

Right? You get people and they send you links. Like, oh my God, look at this. Look what's going on. It's like in the link it says, you know, fake news.org or whatever. Like literally it's some website. It's a kid's basement in, you know, wherever. CBD, yeah. And, you know, they're just like, look, it says that Bill Grapes is trying to come after Mark Zongerbong. Yeah.

It's like, there you go. It wasn't me this time. It was like brilliant. Chris Khan. That's, that's a sign. That's my signature move. And nobody can ever take it from me because Bill grapes or Bill grumps and mink Zingerberg or bonk Zongerping or the guy that everybody's afraid of from Facebook, you know, the, the, the fourth Reich, you know, whatever, whatever's happening, you know, the guy putting chips in your vaccine or whatever you think it's happening. Um,

Those people that write in all caps and scream everything they say on the Internet, they are just going to be fed a 24-hour stream of everything that they want to hear and say. Well, you know, the power move is actually brought to you by the Dunning-Kruger effect. I was going to be like, by the war of the worlds, by HG Wells. It's the sponsor we have. Speaking of which, they made the Pfizer vaccine. It's now FDA approved. Right.

So where do you go from here if that was the holdup?

I don't think that was a holdup. I think now... So there's this interesting thing with people that say they doubt evolution, for example. I don't want to get into religion, but people that say, I doubt evolution. I don't believe evolution exists, even though you can kind of watch it happen under a microscope at a macroscopic level, right? So we know that things evolve. There are things like Down syndrome that are a form of evolution. People just don't understand what evolution means. It just means gradual changes over time. And if they fit, then they work better over time, and that's what's going to kind of procreate, whatever. Yeah.

There's this old saying that if you found a fossil record that completely bifurcated two periods in time... Wait, wait, wait. What's that word mean? Did he just say bifurcated? I did. Okay.

Can you use it in a sentence? So people say, oh, why are there these big gaps in the fossil record? 5 million to 10 million years. And John's about to be an archaeologist here soon. He's going to understand how time and fossils work, whatever. But at the end of the day, you said, okay, if you found one that was 7.5 million, perfectly bisected it, now you just have two gaps in the fossil record.

So at the end of the day, it doesn't matter sometimes. It's just going to double down on what people. Colt, are you still, are you asleep? I think Colt's asleep now. Did I just kill him? No, no. I was just going to say, I mean, but it causes blood clots now, right? No, but now all of a sudden. That's the new thing, right? The FDA is now in on the conspiracy. So that's what I'm saying. When you find something that splits it in the middle, right? When you find the thing, the gap, the thing that gaps what you were worried about.

Now that's just another layer of the conspiracy. It's no longer. Oh, can we agree to one thing when it comes to this real quick? Yes. If we were a band, Colt would definitely be the bass player.

Can we agree with that? You guys think so? Fucking, I'm the face of it. God, I'm the lead singer, I think. He's like triangle, triangle, tambourine, all kinds of different sousaphones. I'm going to be like, what's the little redhead that plays all of his music by himself? Beck? No. The newer Carrot Top? No, no, no. He's redhead. That's awful.

It's funny you mentioned, because I want to talk about that today. It's funny you mentioned, so you said people in their basement. I don't know if you happen to see this, but this is where we're at now, boys. This is where we are, the modern economy. Two kids in Texas, 9 and 11 years old. They're minting Ethereum, cryptocurrency, in their garage. They made $32,000 last month.

You know, good for you guys. You know, it probably took the people in the Stone Age a while to, you know, pick up bronze and figure out why it was valuable, but...

That's how I feel sometimes. I don't get it. I feel like a Stone Age guy a lot of time. Your NFTs are worthless to me. I don't understand. Okay, let's talk a little bit about that because I actually bought NFTs this week. I did this. I bought NFTs. And here's the truth. I bought crypto for the first time to purchase the NFTs. And I got to tell you, I felt like my mom trying to Zoom.

Absolutely. So after we met with the crypto mafia the other day, one of them gifted me 25 of these coins. He did? Yeah. He just got gifted that? He just gifted me 25 bucks worth of these coins. They're a buck each. And I'm sitting there and I'm like, oh my God, I feel like one of those people that got their first Beanie Baby. Oh my God.

Oh, man, this could be my moment, right? I look at it as like pogs and stuff. I mean, I don't know. John sat there for, what, 20 minutes? I did. Trying to explain to me. I'm like, I comprehend it, but I don't comprehend it. Like, where is, I guess, like, you know, he's like, well, tangible, intangible. Like a Michael Jordan trading card, right? Like, I actually have it. Like, you're showing me something that's a picture of –

And they're selling like we saw one that was selling for 500,000. Well, the, some of the crypto books, crypto punks are like half a mil. Yes. American dollars. It's wild. It's, it's crazy. And you know, and what I was trying to explain to Cole, and this is, this is what, this is kind of what I got from the, from the general consensus from those guys is essentially on mint day, which is what we had last week. We minted our chibi dinos. If you're watching this chibi dinos to the moon, buddy, to the moon. And, uh,

as we're going through this, I'm kind of learning on the fly, like literally learning as I'm flying the plane. And so you go in and you mint your dynos, all right? First you got to buy the crypto, which is a whole nother thing. And that was where I was literally like, felt like my mom getting on Skype. But you mint your dynos and like there's certain combinations, like there's randomness to it. There's only so many combinations of certain things. And different traits that you can have on your dyno

are rarer than others. So if you get something that there's only 65 possible number 23s, there's only 65 possible of these eyes and you start combining those rarities, well, your dino starts moving up the charts on the rarity. They sold out 10,000 of these things in 40 minutes.

And, you know, they sold a lot of Beanie Babies. And Ty made some of them more rare than others. I get it. What is... All right. Well, here... Okay. So let me tell you why I went with these guys and why I think this one has some legs. And I'm not... Again, I admit right here, right now, in front of the world...

No idea why anybody does anything anymore. No, no, not at all. Including coal. If I don't get it, I don't think half the people get it. We're not going to get it. So I go, and so you mint your dynos. I did get some in the top 5% of dynos. I'll say that. I got pretty lucky with my little run because I did 10 of them. And the cool thing about these are, like, I don't get the CryptoPunk thing. There's no, they just exist in space. You have them on your phone. You have them in your wallet. You can't do anything with them. I don't get that.

But like with this, he's doing something tangible because Sean, the guy that minted these, owns Jersey Champs. So there'll be like an actual merch tie-in with these things. He's also gone to get some NBA players to then kind of captain these teams. And he's going to bring this from the – it's almost like – It's like a trademark, I guess. No, no, no, no. It's not that. It's like this. An easier way to explain it is like this. It's like –

The CryptoPunk ones that are selling for a ton of money, they're like baseball cards when there's no actual baseball players and or baseball league. Right. All right. What he's doing with the Chibi Dino ones is he's created the cards, but now he's creating the actual sport, the actual players, and the actual league.

So he's creating something tangible offline that will give these hopefully some value going forward. Hey, Kanye made shoes that sold out. What do I know? Yeah. What do you know? That's it. Like I see Sean, Sean, you know, this guy that, you know, that we've met. I'm going to have him on just to talk about this. Sean's a very smart kid and he's making tangible, but like this thing you showed me today, I mean, honestly, stuff like 1980 computer made and,

i don't i just that was the thing that's the question that i had you know time and time again with nfts is what do you do with it i don't see here's the thing though just like anything with a a current demand i i look to that and this goes for real estate this is that warren buffettism right it's what's your moat what's preventing somebody else from getting into that valuable piece of real estate if you don't have an economic moat in my opinion i'm not interested like

The other, like, like diamonds. I don't think there's much of an actual economic moat if you can't continue to control supply. Right. And geopolitics aside, the DeBeers company owns a warehouse full of diamonds. And they just release them as they will. They release them as they will. They're not actually terribly scarce. Right. Right. It,

And, you know, people have certain feelings about gold. I'll show my cards here a little bit. I don't think gold's worth a shit. I go, gold has some industrial applications. It's got some value for jewelry. But it's not actually valuable, right? Food's valuable. Ammunition's valuable when necessary. Gold is that thing that people just kind of always agree is valuable. See, that's a great point. That's why NFTs have value because –

Scarcity builds value in things, and the reason that gold has any value over any other ore is because it's more scarce than the other ores they mine out of the ground. That's why. It's perceived value. Does that help, Colt? Does that help you? No. Not with this. People still want jewelry. Honestly, I can wrap myself around a lot of things. I think we all can. And I'm...

This is what I deal with every day. If you walk across the ring with your chin out, buddy, you cannot be surprised you get knocked out. You hear that? You hear that, LeBron James? You hear that, LeBron James? Colt threw down the gauntlet, LeBron James. But I think we're all smart enough, business people, and we understand things. This is something amazing.

I honestly, I sat there and I kept telling him, I understand it. I don't understand it. I don't comprehend it. That's the beauty of a free market is that you don't have to invest in it. If they made it a global currency and all of a sudden you have to imagine it was the Federal Reserve and you're like, you can just print money. I understand why people take umbrage with those kinds of things, right? Right. If you're forced upon it. But having these things that are outside of your, you know,

It's not going to affect your house value. Right. So those are the things where you have to pay attention. These are other things that people invest in. People have always bought sports memorabilia and baseball cards and gold and other commodities or whatever, options, things that don't exist, right? They're a contract. Well, it's funny you talk about that. And this is Dan Fleischman, who's a partner of mine in Ever Bowl. He runs a mastermind group I'm part of.

But Dan is making a huge investment. Actually laid it out to the elevator syndicate last week into this new thing, which is cards and coffee. It's coffee shops that sell high end sports cards. This is a billion, billion dollar interest. I mean, if you I'm sorry, business, if you look at what some of these cards are selling for.

It's insane. It's almost like there's so much money now, and everybody has so much money, they just have no clue what to spend it on. Well, a lot of, and let's just be honest, a lot of times young men, they have these things when they were kids. You just loved Wade Boggs. You know, when you were a kid, that was your idol. Like, I got to hang out with Jose Canseco.

Oh, a couple months back. How was that? It was very interesting because I wanted to talk to him about like Ricky Henderson. He only wanted to talk about his MMA career. Shooting his finger off? No, he didn't. That was totally fake. What do you mean that was fake? He's got all his fingers. What? Well, I'm sure you can sew it back on. No, I think that was faked.

was it somebody was and i didn't bring it up to him because that's kind of was not burning on my mind he wanted to show videos i kept looking at his hands i'm like because i didn't remember i don't remember how bad it was or whatever but i don't i don't notice you know you said wade boggs i actually got to catch in a game where wade boggs was hitting really i was yeah when i was on the apprentice when it was done uh you know for a hot second while you're still on television before you get fired and then going to the next season you're a

And I got asked to be in this celebrity baseball game in Tampa. Do you want to be in the celebrity baseball game? And it was like a bunch of dudes that could play. Wade Boggs was there. Jim Lariat's, a bunch of old Yankees were there. It was Wade Boggs' event. And they had a bunch of current, like, Tampa Bay Buccaneers. Like, at the time, Mike Allstock was there. A bunch of other guys. And they had a bunch of weird celebrities that you would never know could play baseball. Like, Bryan Cranston was there. Oh, really? And you know who could ball? I mean, straight ball who could play was the principal from the Breakfast Club. Could ball. Oh.

Oh, you get the horns that that cat could play. Right. He's passed away. Yeah, I know he did. But, but we're at like Desmond Howard. I mean, there's a bunch of like really famous people there. I'm like super scrub. So I get there and I'm like, okay, uh, you know, what are we going to do for, they look at me and they go, what do you play?

And I'm like, dude, I haven't played baseball since like 15. I'm just here to look good and wear a jersey. They said, okay, what did you play when you played? I said, oh, I was a catcher. They said, great, you're going to catch. All of our knees are shot so you can catch. I'm like, okay, all right. So like sixth inning comes around. They're like, Gafford, going in. So I go in.

And first of all, my dad had come down. It was the first part of the story, which is great. My dad had come down to see this because, of course, this is a dream. We're playing in the Yankees' park there in Tampa where they have spring training. And I go out to batting practice, and it's operation don't look like a jackass. That's all I'm trying to do. And I'm taking cuts, and I'm connecting with everything, but I'm not going to lie. The ball probably making it past third base. I'm just trying to look like an idiot. I go back to the stands. My dad's like, you've got to drive with your hips. I'm like, what?

Dad, that ship has sailed. We've lost that. We've lost that. But God bless them. So anyway, I go into the seventh inning, and they bring in a guy named Bob Feller, who is about, at the time, mid-70s. He was a legend at the Cleveland Indians. They bring Bob Feller in. I'm like, take pitch. The Cleveland Protectors? Protectors or whatever it is now. The Cleveland Constantinople? You know what? Trust me. If this cat was still alive, he's calling them the Indians. I'm going with it. I wouldn't disrespect Bob that way.

So anyway, Bob's throwing me kind of moon balls and I'm catching them. It's all good, right? And everything's good. Bob makes it through two batters and he's done. He's just tired. So they take him out.

Who do they call in? They go for the, they call it goose gossage from the New York Yankees who is gooses in his sixties and can still throw in like the eighties. I bet. Yeah. I mean, he's popping the glove. I'm scared to death behind the template. And so here's the scenarios that sets up. Cause fellow obviously gave up some hits. I look up, I've got, I've got a Michael Stott. Who's the fullback from the bucks. He's calm a train he's on first. Right. And,

And up comes Wade Boggs to the plate. I'm catching. Goose Gossage is pitching. My mom is, I have pictures of this that are grainy. You can't tell me because my mom has a new camera, quote unquote. Rule of thumb. When you go to a life changing cool thing, make sure that somebody else is taking photographs other than your mom with her quote unquote new camera. It looks like it was, all she was missing was the thing and the thing held up.

Old-timey portrait. You can't tell anything. Like, well, you moved. You're blurry. This was a picture of Billy the Kid. This is my son John playing baseball. Exactly. So anyway, Bog smacks one to deep right. I'm sitting there, and he's going. And I look up, and A-Train is now coming, and he's coming around third. And the guy that's been playing out in right field is coming home with the ball.

And I had that instant thought of George Costanza in Seinfeld when he was playing, blocking the thing and injuring Bette Midler. And I'm thinking, it's almost baseball. It's almost football season. I'm going to try to make a play on Allstott. He's going to kill me, but I'm going to twist his knee. And then I'm going to be public enemy number one in Tampa. So I ended up stepping out of the way. But, dude, talk about being able to do some childhood stuff. That was a pretty epic day. Yeah, I think it's weird they're letting you throw –

bangers at 80 miles an hour in a celebrity game. Well, I mean, I think those guys come out and they're there to win. They're there to play. You'll never lose that competitive experience. Although what's funny is the softball, they call her the lion. She was a

won a gold medal with the U.S. softball team, came out and she pitched an inning. Jenny Finch out there throwing her hands. No, she struck all of them out. Every pro she faced, she struck out because they're throwing the rise ball. They're not used to seeing the rise ball. Would you rather go against a major league pitcher or Jenny Finch in the prime? Major league pitcher. Yeah.

Yeah, because, I mean, they're closer. That thing's rising. That's scary. There's no chance. They're 15 feet closer. Yeah, there's no chance. It's coming quick. They're at, like, 45 feet or something as opposed to 60. Yeah, I think, I don't know. You got no chance yet. It's equivalent of a 100-mile-an-hour pitch. Easily. But that thing coming up, I played baseball. I played, like, serious baseball. Do they call it baseball in Canada? Did you curl?

You know what? I have curled. That's the question. I have curled. Of course he has curled. How are we not asking that? Are you out with the brooms? You know what? I have the brooms. Do you guys think that? Colt's just asking me questions so he doesn't say something fucked up. Because now I'm thinking, could we get good enough to be an Olympic curling team? Absolutely not. We were having a discussion. If you had to pick one sport that you think you could get a medal in, what's it going to be? Me? Oh, fuck.

Winter? Oh, man. Curling. I'd go pretend to be a, you know, I don't want to get into that. Winter. Yeah. Winter. What one would it be? Women's wrestling. Is that where you're headed? It would be in a male category. I'd get mollywhopped in women's wrestling, but I wouldn't like weight. I don't know.

What do you think you could do? Summer. Summer Olympics? If I had to go and try to medal in something. Shooting? I don't know. It would have to be shooting. I'm going to go with... I don't think I have any chance. It's the only thing you got a chance in. I think speedwalking.

I don't think you know how hard that is. Yeah. No, but I think if I spend a year doing it, I could do speed walking and maybe learn how to ride a horse. I feel like, like I,

They did a lot of them. The horse should be getting the medal. I feel like the horse should be getting the medal. Okay, I'll give you that one. Bruce Springsteen's daughter, no offense, but your horse did 90% of that work. You know what? I'll give you that one, actually. I do look at jockeys and go, oh, you really kicked that horse properly. Are you along for the ride? But you know what? That'd be hard to be –

90 pounds. That was a hard part of being a jockey. That was starting to sound like Winnie the Pooh or Tigger. Oh, I could do that. Do you know how hard it is to do basically anything in the Olympics at any level that's outside amateur? I'm sure you saw it. It's viral. There's a video of the ping pong guys. When they go around the table? And the guy is actually going around the table. That's bananas. I was the Boyd School of Law ping pong champion for 2010. I can appreciate. Yeah.

I am a Boyd School of Law. That's not Hooters University. That's William S. Boyd School of Law, unlike Twin Peaks Academy. I feel like Twin Peaks would have better ping pong tables. Yeah, but no, I'm sitting there. I love ping pong. I play tennis. I play racquetball. I play batting. And a lot of these sports are all the racquet ones. So watching these people with these little paddles going at that level. It's been in a time. It's like you don't understand. Your brain has to be completely reprogrammed. I think I'm attracting people.

Racketeers, we'll call them. Can we call them racketeers? People that would play with rackets? I think raconteurs would mean something else. Well, it means something different. I know it does. But I went with racketeers. Racketeers. Not racketeers. Racketeers. And ones that would play with rackets. Webster, come on. Let's get this in there just to make me look better. But I got two guys on the team right now, one of which is on the Nevada national tennis team, and the other guy is on the United States national paddle ball team.

How do you wind up with that? Well, paddle – so not to disparage any of his accomplishments because that really sounds amazing. Here it goes. But paddle is a sport that I just kind of learned about, and I'm a racquet – you know, I'm a racquet-tour. And so – See, it just flows. Webster. There's like one paddle court in town. You know what paddle is, right? Yeah. It's kind of like racquetball, but – P-A-D-L or whatever it is. So I didn't even know about it. It looks fun. It's kind of like a mix of pickleball or tennis or something. Yeah.

So the more, like I played for the Las Vegas Scorpions for the team handball club. Now, Americans a lot of times don't know what handball is. Handball is the one sport that if Americans started to give a shit about would be gold medalist every year for the rest of time. See, I'm going to argue that I think there's a lot of sports that if America cared about. No, no, no. This one in particular. I agree. Do you know what European team handball is? It's in the Olympics.

What, European team handball? No, I didn't watch the Olympics. I told you I watched the Olympics. It's amazing. It's the best. It's one of the most fun sports you can play. So I played for Las Vegas' team, and we'd go play San Francisco and Los Angeles and New York and all that. I played for the Las Vegas Scorpions. It was a team here. It just disbanded because the coach, a German guy, it's a very European thing. So a lot of the people that play here, they go play on San Francisco's team or elsewhere, or Phoenix.

What it is, is it's a ball that's kind of like a little smaller than a volleyball. Okay. But you can dribble like a basketball.

And you get three steps and can dribble. You have to jump before a line and throw the ball into a net where there's a goalie. That's it. See, why did I think handball was like hitting a ball against the wall? Team handball. So that's handball. That's like prison yard stuff. Okay. Right? And then team handball. See, I'm gangster. That's why I know that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I was going to say like hard in the yard. Yeah, there's this sport called European team handball. If you took a bunch of D1 basketball players. They would just dominate. They would dominate.

crushed because they're so big and tall and these little european guys you got to be quick and it's very physical it's a really physical hard-hitting game like you can wrap people up from behind it's kind of like lacrosse where americans really haven't excelled or embraced that's coming buddy it's coming my boy is all about it it's coming handball handball is one of those sports that could could make that one day all right i get it yeah it's awesome but anyway so back to you colt

Riding horses in the Olympics. Give the horse a medal. That's all I'm saying. You're saying if you had the right horse, that's all you'd need. And a year. And a year to learn how to ride a horse. All right. I think we should start a GoFundMe for Colts. Are you kidding me? Do you know how expensive that is? For Colts Olympic dreams. We don't have enough money to be in that sport. That's a billion dollars. Question? Yeah. That's all expensive people. You'd be like the Venus and Serena of equestrianism.

poor middle class kid from Utah good for him they'd be like a horse in a dream just a boy just a boy and his horse in a dream and a glue farm that keeps getting horses taken oh god yeah at some point it's not going to be the horse's fault there was a guy yeah there was a guy that went he meddled in winter and summer now okay one guy

I think I could do that being on the horse and the curling team. I think I could be number two. I could be the second –

I think it probably only American. I'm sure. Well, maybe not. I'd be world. There are people that actually curl though. Like it's like saying I'd be a good shuffleboard player, darts or whatever. Like the minute you play somebody good at darts, you realize how bad you are at darts. Yeah. That's all muscle memory. You do it for a year. I think you could, I bet I could be top. I could be on team USA's dart team of I played for a year too. See,

Have you ever seen that thing? You know, we could do a GoFundMe because the dark team would be way cheaper. A lot of pints. Yeah. I don't drink the beer. That's my problem. So what right do you have ever talking about playing dark? That's a good point. I could get drunk. There's like do curling and possibly win a gold medal. If anybody's interested in Colt spritzer or Mike's hard lemonade, dark league, let me know. White cloth, white cloth. You a sponsor. Truly ghoulies. Yeah.

I don't know where this was, if it was a meme or whatever. My wife showed me this. It was like the accurate flavor descriptions for seltzers. Oh, my God. And it was like strawberry. If strawberry had a battery and the battery was out. Or like banana. Drove by a banana truck once. You smell a kiwi while licking the stack off a TV? Yeah. Yeah.

Every time somebody yelled out the word pomegranate loudly while you're drinking soda water. Every time I have one of those sets or those, those, those things, all I can think of is, Hey buddy, you're a, your soda's out. It's like, that's all I think about every time you do that. Cause that's all they all taste like. This is the worst cherry Coke I've ever had. That's true. It's dreadful. I don't get how people drink that stuff. I mean, I will just because it's light and whatever it's there.

Well, speaking of light, Colt, your birthday last weekend up at Park City. How was that? It was light. It was nice. Lit. Let's go lit. No, it was a good time. John does not like Park City. I don't. Nope. I love Park City. Park City. Park City Chili's especially. Oh, yeah. That's all right. Chili's. I'll give you Chili's update because you want a Chili's update coming for you. The demand letter went out this week to Chili's.

For the money they owe me from my card. You know my goal? Here's my goal. I have one goal in life. Get a check from Chili's. No, I don't want my check from Chili's. I want what did Chili's do to John Gafford to be trending? Like I want that search to be trending across the board. So who's that cracker barrel that fired that guy's wife? Remember the cracker barrel employee that got fired and that guy wrote that thing, the management? Why'd you fire my wife? That thing with that guy at that place? No, no, Birdie. Birdie or Debra or whatever. Some guy.

rode into Cracker Barrel and it went viral. Oh my God. It went, I mean, stupid viral. I thought you would know immediately. No, no. So this guy's wife got fired from Cracker Barrel and he's like, after 20 years of service, why did you fire my wife, Cracker Barrel? And then the internet lost it. You know how the internet can do that? Oh, shit, yeah. If it catches a little bit of fire, it's a forest decimator. Yeah. It was on every, if you look it up on your phone or whatever, it is one of my favorite stories ever. And I was thinking about it this morning. I'm like, I wonder what happened to his wife.

Oh, what happened to her? What if she got a good job? Whatever happened to Birdie or whatever it was. If she was going from Cracker Barrel, I don't think she's working at NASA. It was so funny. There's something about it that people just resonated with them. Like, how could you do this to her? I think Cracker Barrel had to issue a statement on it. Oh, God. Like, I think it was a real problem for their business.

That's the best. When things go so crazy that they actually have to give. I'll probably do it for Chili's. Do it for Chili's. Go Chili's. When we come back, let's talk about, I want to talk about marketing a little bit because I saw some stuff this week. Bad marketing just drives me insane. And I saw some stuff this week that was just bananas. So we're going to take a quick break. We'll be back in just a minute with more Colt, more Chris, and probably more Colt. That became a punchline. The Colt started laughing.

Hey, it's John Gafford. If you want to catch up more and see what we're doing, you can always go to thejohngafford.com where we'll share any links that we've things we talked about on the show, as well as links to the YouTube where you can watch us live. And if you want to catch up with me on Instagram, you can always follow me at thejohngafford. I'm here. Give me a shout. And we're back. Back, back, back. Before we move on to talk about marketing, I want to talk a little bit about the Cracker Barrel thing.

that you said that we should have known all about. Cause I didn't know all about it, but I, but I feel like I should have, cause I have this issue, which is I tend to, you know, I'm a man of action. If you will, a, uh, I tend to not sometimes when it comes, it's weird when it comes to me, I will think things through very clearly and then I will act.

When it comes to my family, I tend to act very quickly, which is why I've almost gotten a fist fight in an Idaho amusement park over some bumper boats, which is, you know, that's another. Did you ever hear the bumper boat story? I'm not sure I did. Oh, he was pissed. Okay. All right. All right. Let's start with bumper boats. Bumper boats. All right. So we're in Idaho.

with this theme park. And my wife is, we're like, oh, there's bumper boats. Let's go to the bumper boats. It's going to be fun. Blah, blah, blah. It's fun. Family fun park. And this little, it's called Silver Town. I think it was in north of Coeur d'Alene in Idaho. And

and uh we're there me and the kids all get in our own boat we go out there's this in this redneck this like fat chunky goofy redneck i can't tell from looking at him like this guy and i saw him tell his giant you know overweight wife like like look at these people over here he does his own research yeah exactly exactly you know he is both both an infectious disease and afghanistan expert same politic expert definitely same that guy

So, you know, we get in the boat, we start going in this dude pins my wife against the wall and her bumper boat and they have the squirters on her and sprayed her twice.

It was a cult moment, by the way. Sprayed her. In my wife's head. Sprayed her. I was going there, but I don't have that mind like you, John. That's a fighting word. Oh, God, no. But he's squirting her. There you go. Much better. See what it's like to live. He's utilizing the water spraying apparatus on the bumper boat to squirt water H2O at my wife. And he has his bumper boat disengaged.

positioned in a way in which her bumper is this clear enough? Cannot be. She can't move. No, and I can't get to her. Yeah. And I can't get to her because of where she is. So he just literally, she looked like she took a shower getting off this thing. And I'm yelling at this guy from across the way. I'm like, you need to stop. And he's like, what laughing is like, whatever.

It gets done and we pull back in. I've got my watch off already. I'm literally, I am. My wife's like, my eyes are bloodshot red. My there's, I'm just steaming. Let there be war in tonight. War is about to be declared on the bumper boat land. I go with this dude.

And he said for this wife and I don't, I'll put it this way. I was so mad. I don't even remember the confrontation. I don't remember what I said. I don't remember anything about it. All I know is my wife sent my daughter over to say, daddy, please don't hurt this man. That, that is the only thing that saved this guy. My wife thinking very quickly on her feet was still, please daddy, don't hurt this man. My daughter, because he, of course, that, that snapped me out of it. I'd be mad if someone pinned my wife against the wall and squirted all over her, John. I'd be pissed. Oh,

I buy that one. He's putting her bump and my bump and her bump together. Sweet, sweet revenge. He's joking, but this is something that would come out of his mouth. No. Well, yeah. Now you see how it feels. Every time, I'm just going to start doing it to you. And I just looked up, guys. What would come out of his mouth, John? Yeah, I just looked up. The world record for fast walking was one mile and five and a half minutes.

It's purely off of getting a form because they're really just jogging. Yeah. I totally could do that. If you would like to donate to Colts. You pull a Larry David and lift your feet. Yeah, I'm totally going to be an Olympic. You can't lift your feet. You have to be. Why could be? You have a heel in the ground at all times. Totally an Olympic. Yeah, I could do that. So back to what I was saying. So I am very quick to come to the aid of my wife, and I have been known to at times, and

Do things that overstep my boundary and make situations, let's just call them, I don't know, what's the word I'm looking for? Worse. And for the viewing audience, if you don't know John, he's only about 5'7", 143 pounds. He looks tall, but he's not. He's a small man. It's all CGI on the camera. If you're watching this on YouTube, it's all CGI. I'm not a big guy. But no, so, I mean, is that an issue that either one of you guys have? I'm trying to hear this because I do it all the time. Nuclear. Nuclear.

I had some guy when Ava was young that

that was tailing me in my car and almost ran me and was doing it on purpose. Oh, God. And a little baby in the back seat. You know, I have a little Carrera 911, and I had a baby seat in there. The car had a single dad. I mean, we're on the Harley, but come on. So I don't know if they were just trying to be jerks, whatever, but I ended up stopping my car and, like, running after their van as they, like, flew around me because they were, like, pretending, like, ran me with my daughter in the car. Oh, God.

Which is a dumb thing to do in a country with more weapons proliferating. Oh, dude. Average, isn't it?

I had, that was my only time I almost got arrested on a flight. I'm on a flight one time when Roma was like, Roma was probably two and we're doing the, the kids sit with mom and the three seats over here and the dad's over here on the other side. Enjoying his life. Yeah. This older guy in the front of it, this older man with his wife was in front of it and he stood up to turn around. And like so many times before you see people, cause my kids were really cute when they were little, you see people play with your kids like, Oh, aren't you cute? The guy turns around.

And goes to my daughter and goes, stop kicking my seat. And points at her like that. I...

lost it on the flight. It was like flight attendants having to hold me down and the hallway were on the flight there. Like I, cause cause John's duct tape. No, no, no, no, no. Didn't get that bad. I piped it down a little bit, but I'm seeding. And it was one of the situations where like technically the road they were in, the old guy and his wife were here. And then my kids were a little catty corner behind me. So I'm like pretty much, I love with this guy and I'm leaning forward into the aisle the whole time going when this plane lands, I'm like,

I'm going to murder you. Like, like it's done when we land and the plane lands and I never felt so bad. And I'll tell you why this is why. So the plane lands and the dude just grabs his stuff and skirts off the plane. Cause he's convinced I'm going to murder him in the tunnel. And his poor wife, like he makes, he's running so fast. She drops her stuff.

At which point my son stops my, my now my son who at the time was like five, it starts helping her pick her stuff up. And the lady is like, I am so sorry. I have never been so embarrassed in my entire life. And I instantly felt terrible for her. Yeah. And it was just, it was dreadful. So I almost got in a fight on a flight.

About two years ago, I had to talk to the police. I had to do all this stuff because I hit a guy. Oh, God. On the flight? Well, I didn't hit. So I'll explain to you how this happened. So my grandma's funeral up in Regina, Saskatchewan, Canada, where I was born. I haven't been back to in years. Great syrup there. Great syrup. I'm flying from here to Calgary, Calgary to Regina.

And the flight from... You did fly to Regina. Colt's on a roll now. I'm just going to show you guys how it is because I keep my mouth shut. You guys sit there. Colt's feeling like he was going over to see his grandma's Regina. Where are you from, Chris? I'm from Regina. Everyone's from Regina, Chris. So anyway, I'll call it Regina just for everybody.

So I'm on this flight, and there was a tribal sort of dance or something in Las Vegas, and there were probably 20 Aboriginal native Canadians that were in Las Vegas. And the plane was held up an hour because they were waiting for them. Okay. And so we sat there. So I had a connecting flight from Calgary to Regina, which I was now late for.

Jesus. It's him. It's not me. It's not me. So I'm on this plane. So I'm on this plane, and I don't like to – so I'm on this plane, and I say to the flight attendant, we go to get off, and I'm like, hey, our flight's now late because we had to sit here for an hour. Can you call ahead to this next plane and let them know that we'll be coming on? She goes, no, we can't do that. But go to the front of the plane and try to get off first and see if you can make it on to the next plane. There you go. Next flight.

So I hate when people are like rushing up the aisles. Yeah. But I'm like, so there's about six of us that are late for our connecting flight. Actually. And one's an older lady. I mean like older, like 75 years old. And I get her bag. She said, can you help me? So I got her bag and I'm holding her bag. I'm going to walk it up with her and we're all going to go up.

This pig of a man, just to this day, I would pay a lot of money just to have one MMA fight with him. Just a pig of a man, just a fat flowing over into the seat with his fat pig of a wife. And they were just monsters. They blocked the aisle. And they go, no, wait your turn. And I said, excuse me, just the flight attendant. Yeah, just tell me to do this. The acting person in control on this airplane said we can go to the front. No, too bad.

So everybody starts coming up and I'm like, oh, this is a bunch of Canadians on the plane. The rudest people I've ever met. Because one lady says, well, if you wanted to be up here, you should have bought first class. Well, wait a second. I thought Canadians were the nicest people. Go through Canadian customs sometime and tell me if you think Canadians are nice. Really? So whatever it was, just everybody in that front row was on this Marie Antoinette kick or something. We're on West Jet. First class is an extra nickel. I probably just forgot to hit the button. It's whatever.

So I'm sitting there with this lady's bag. I'm holding it for her. And I'm like, excuse me. And then everybody's all piled up and now it's a lost cause. So this fat asshole in front of me gets in front and then starts blocking the tunnel as I'm trying to walk by.

excuse me can you move over sir you've got it i didn't call him a fat pig but i wanted there is nothing worse than a blocked tunnel vagina oh yeah just a vagina block tunnel i can't get through that to get my way to regina i just can't which is anatomically great that regina's late oh my gosh this guy's blocking this aisle him and his fat wife are blocking this aisle so he every time i go to like go around and he moves into that direction and like you know whatever and so

And so I fake to the left. He's fat ass steps over. I go to walk around the right and he shoulders me into the wall. Oh, so it gives you the head check. I two hand this guy like I'm trying to separate his head from his body. And I two hand. I'm like lacrosse to hand like boom. And I drop him. He hits. He shakes the causeway into the airport. He shakes it. He's so fat. I hit him so hard. He smashes in the wall and drops.

And just, just that, oh God, what have I done? I'm a fat pig. But how much of it was, what have I done? And how much of it was, now I'm going to sue you? Oh, sure, sure, sure. Yeah, of course. So this fat, tough guy calls the police. Oh boy. Meanwhile, I had like rushed over to get to my, my flight. Do they ride horses to the airport? No, flight's delayed. Oh, it's delayed. So the Mounties can get there. So the flight's delayed an hour. So I didn't even need to like get up that front. I didn't even have to have the conversation. Oh God.

But anyway, so I just walk around and come back. I go to check on my flight. They're like, were you in an altercation over there? Oh, boy. They're like looking for you over there. Yeah. What's your definition of altercation? Did you say yes? So anyway, I'm like, yeah. So the police came over. I have to talk to the police. They're like, oh, we can't let you go. This is to go to my grandma's funeral in Canada. What city was it in? This was in Saskatoon, Saskatchewan. Okay.

They won't let me go. And so I talked to the cop. I give him my card. I go, that guy actually hit me first. So now let's go. I'll press charge against him. Let's do this. I'm an attorney. So I talked to the cop and I let him know what happened. He gave me the most Canadian answer I've ever heard in my life. And I almost started laughing because it sounded like something on my kid's softball team. Oh, he was just sauntering, eh? He sauntered over there, eh? He's just sauntering and got in your way, eh? So I told him what happened. He let me go.

So there may be an arrest warrant for me in Calgary, but I ruined that guy's life. And as he's walking by, as I'm talking to the cops, he looks at me like, you look good. I can't hold you. What are you going to eat me? I couldn't believe. People don't get punched anymore. No, they don't get punched enough. People don't get punched. If you get punched once in a while.

You won't realize how much fun it is to get punched. You actually monitor what comes out of your mouth if you get punched once in a while. I think you should be able to punch people. Honestly, I tell that to people all the time. If somebody actually could come at you, you wouldn't be talking like you would. You wouldn't. A little bit of freedom for a tough guy. I've had two people come at me, and luckily... Thanks for taking the reins.

When I went to Regina once, two people come at me in Regina. You got a bunch of guys coming at you. Coming at me. No, but I actually ended up on Worldstar. You know what that is? You know what Worldstar is? Of course I do. Yeah, I ended up on that because somebody in front of Bellagio tried to spit on us and punch us. Yeah, you pay extra for that at the same time. Mispronounced Pornhub. Oh, is that what it is? Kumon? Is that Kumon? What's this? Kumon?

Well, but they don't get punched enough. We told you about Kuman. About the Indian hacker Kuman, my pick. But no, people need to get punched in the mouth every once in a while. I truly, truly...

You guys are lucky because you have wives that maybe might calm you down in that situation. My wife's the opposite. No, okay. You're getting punched in the mouth by your wife. Oh, absolutely. I was going to say our wives won't attack us. Yeah, no. I don't fear the chonkless in my house. Yeah, the chonkless coming out. No, my wife's always like, God always looks out for us because if that would happen to us, like, you know, there's been times, but Regina, I bet it's nice up there near Regina. Yeah.

sure you can find a lot of guys oh my god good talk good talk so i am going to be in the olympics next time do you guys know who craig goliath is craig goliath craig goliath he's a local bodybuilder he lives in las vegas but he is

One of the largest men alive. The guy is an absolute freak show large. I think he's 360 some pounds jacked out of his mind. Just massive, like to a level that you can't understand unless you actually ever see Craig Goliath. Right. So there's been a rash of bodybuilders dying. I just follow generation iron and just, you know, whatever. And somebody, so he put a comment like, oh, it's sad to see this happening on our sport or whatever. Right.

And just the list of people are going, yeah, you're next, motherfucker. Like, why? All these. That's terrible. Why? Why? Why spew the hate? First off, that's a man behind the thing. Obviously, he knows what risks he's taking with his board. Sure. Second thing is, you know, like. Yeah, he would squash you. I would love to see you do anything but run up to him and be like, hi, Mr. Gleitz. Can I get an autograph?

Get an autograph. I'm Jimmy. You know, these guys are such chicken sheds online, right? It's just the culture. It's just so ingrained in you that you get free shots of people. You know what's funny? I was actually talking about this yesterday, which was, you know, I kind of get two kinds of DMs on, I get lots of DMs. I bet you do. I bet you do from Kumon. But I'm saying the negative DMs I get kind of fall into two categories.

And the categories I'll get are number one, like, oh, I bet you inherited everything. I bet everything was given to you. I bet you got it. And it's like, that's ridiculous. In DMs, though? Yeah, in direct messages. Like, people just see my stuff. It doesn't know me. But not anonymous. Yeah, but doesn't know me. And it's like, oh, I'm sure, you know, oh, lucky you, lucky you. There's a lot of lucky yous. There's a lot of it. But the negative stuff I get, I get that, lucky you. And then I get, you know, and then I get people that are like,

what's worse than that where they're like, man, I just, I could never do what you do. I can never see that. I'm I'll never achieve what you achieve. And they're so self-defeating in the first thing. And I think the answer is, um,

For kind of both of those people that had this issue with wanting to tear other people down on the internet. I mean, if you want to look at the core choice of it is, I think people see success or they see the future and they think it's such a big thing. And it's like, I want it all right now. It's like, dude, you can't change the world if you can't even make your fucking bed. And I tell people, like even people that are negative, like I could never see doing that. It's like, bro, you can change something today. You can change what you're eating. You can change what you're watching. You can change what you're listening to.

You know what broke my heart today? I'll tell you what broke my heart today on the lines. I talk a lot about what you consume dictates what you put out. Tell me your friends, I'll show you your net worth. Same thing. But if you talk about...

what you read, all those things, man. Like when I, probably when I was in my early twenties, I loved a social distortion. That was one of my favorite bands, Mike Ness. I mean, I just loved social D man. Love social D course, right? Hang on. This is what broke my heart would ride around screaming the lyrics to social D songs today. I'm sitting there working out and I've got the lithium playlist on whatever my gym and on comes a ball and chain. And I started singing along with it and I started thinking to myself, man,

God, these are the most self-defeating lyrics that are coming out of my mouth about how bad life is, about how downtrodden I am, about how I can't take anymore. And I'm like, holy shit. This was my mantra in my early 20s, which was probably leading to some of my results.

And I had to turn it off. I'm like, I love this band, but do you want me to sue social D? I think we should. But, but the point was, I just, I couldn't even believe how negative the stuff coming out of them. Yeah. But here's my point. And if you're regurgitating that it's affecting you, whether you want to believe it or not. Sure. I listen. It is. Well, I think there,

There's a lot of – that was Dr. William Dyer was big into that, talking about the intention behind things like music. Do you know William Dyer? No. He was like – I don't know what happened to him, but he was kind of a positive message guru from the 90s. The first time I ever saw him on PBS, I just turned it on, and he was talking about like scripture or something. Something came up, and he was talking about it. And I'm like, oh, one of these guys. Never mind. And then he like quotes Buddha. Yeah. And then he quoted like the Bhagavad Gita or whatever. Oh, yeah.

Oh, okay. So he's just talking about global sort of ancient wisdom or whatever. So I listened to him and I always took what he, I thought he was actually a very wise message when I was younger. I wouldn't know maybe now, but he had that sort of thing. Like his son was listening to like, you know, rap or some, some kind of violent rapper or whatever, some like NWA or which, which I loved growing up as a kid. Oh, me too.

But he was like, okay, now, you know, he did this thing about, now, what are the words saying? What are the messages? How strong do you feel when you hear that? And this sort of thing about the intention of words. Yeah. That you don't even realize the amount of negativity. The effect it's having.

I see some of that stuff oddly as positive. I don't know why when I put on NWA or put on EZ. Well, see, I think here's the difference, though. I think NWA, if you listen to the lyrics, and jeez, we're going to get slaughtered for this. Listen to these three white guys talk about NWA. But anyway, the reality of it is, is if you listen to NWA, I think it was just about anger. A lot of it was about anger and exposing. If you watch the documentaries, it was about exposing what was going on in their life. Right.

If you listen to Social D, man, it is self-defeating, commiserating music. And it got me thinking about this, man. If you are someone that is when someone is down in the dumps or someone is at a place where they're low and you feel your role in their life is to say, yeah, this isn't fair and yes, and you're commiserating. Right.

If you're going to do that, you need to do it for people in a very short span. And then you need to start trying to turn that back in a positive direction because you're not helping people by commiserating with their misery. Yeah. You're just extending it. You're not helping people. No. And that's why I always tell people the worst thing you can do when you get out of a bad relationship is go hang out with your friend who just got out of a bad relationship. Oh, yeah. You're spiraling. Because you're just feeding off of each other's energy.

And their energy is everything. You know, the music. Like you said, you eat bad food. You drink a lot, you know. But honestly, like I don't drink a lot because I woke up the next day and it just put me in a bad mood.

I'm in a bad mood. Great Worldstar video. Great Worldstar. I didn't like the Social D like John does. Social D was amazing. That was my jam. That was before my time. Go revisit it and find me a positive Social D song. The music is poppy though. It's poppy. That's the danger. It's all poppy but you're screaming I can't take any more pain. You're screaming. I kind of love songs. If you look at

you know, pictures of you by the cure. That song always makes me feel good. Yes. Even though it's very sad. Yeah. Like there's a lot of very sad music. I did get broken up with once a long time ago and drove around Atlanta. Listen to that. You kind of feel better because it's good to have that commiseration about some stuff. I don't know. Some people, I think hear music differently. I think if the music has,

If it's major chords and it's positive and it's kind of up, it doesn't really matter what the lyrics are if you're not internalizing them. You may be right. Maybe I just have no idea. You probably listen to an array of different type of music, right, where I think a lot of some people don't realize a lot of people just sit there for all day long just consuming this. And, you know, they'll eat bad. They'll listen to this music. And like you said, I mean, how many people just think you're giving everything in life? Yeah.

They'll get on Facebook too though and they'll get on their echo chambers to talk about what a piece of shit she was or what a piece of shit he was. Have you been on left book like Facebook groups? No. Where it literally doesn't matter what the content is. I can predict absolutely every single thing. There's some that surprise me because I'm like it's such a stretch. Right. How you could have got that from that.

But there's so many things. When you jump into other people's echo chambers and watch it, it's amazing, especially if it's not your echo chamber, and just to watch how it spirals and is self-enforcing. Well, that was like the most interesting thing that happened this week was Trump did that big rally in Alabama. And everybody's like, you know, yeah. And then he comes out and he gets, you know, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. And, you know, and then he says, hey, everybody needs to go get the vaccine. And they booed him.

That was wild. Did you see that? I didn't see that. Oh, yeah. The whole crowd turned on him. And all I kept thinking to myself is, what an absolute mind twist for these people and the things. Like, this is the guy, and we're saying this, and now he's telling me something else. Like, what do we do now? But he's literally not the guy, though. You know what's funny? For that crowd, he's the guy. He's the guy, but not him as a person. Him as an individual is not anything to that. No. Right.

It's a concept, right? It's all very abstract. So him doing something, like Donald Trump wouldn't do that. He's like, I'm Donald Trump and I'm doing this. No, you wouldn't do that. That's not you. Like, you don't tell us what you are. We tell you what you are and what you stand for. Yeah. You know what I mean? And that happens with a lot of political ideologies and pundits and things. When our heroes always fall, it's because they're not the thing we thought they were. And that was the whole concept of...

you know, a lot of literature and a lot of things, right. Where you find out the person behind the wizard behind the screen, they knew Cuomo was Italian when they elected him. Hey, I'm not, I'm not sexist. I'm Italian. He's still in there giving his speeches. I'm like, isn't it two weeks up? People will turn a blind eye to a lot of things in life. As long as it doesn't create any more dissonance with the message. Right. Well, that, but that was my, that was my point though. So here you essentially have, if you want to call it a call to personality, whatever it is with Trump, uh,

You have essentially the leader of the cult of personality is standing there and comes out and says something that's completely against what that, I mean, let's face it. Somebody that's going to go to a Trump rally today. He's not running for office. He's not doing anything that there that that's a cult of personality. Yes. And him to say, get vaccinated. These people lose their minds. That's there's gotta be a little ripple going through people's identities this week in the state of Alabama. I think there has to be. Yeah. Imagine just being a Scientologist.

Imagine any time one of these people are... I'm not speaking on that. No, but just imagine... The thoughts and views of Chris Connell do not reflect... Are they like a powerful group still? I'm pretty sure their membership's decimated. Who knows? Sorry, Tom Cruise. Fuck you. I don't know. I have nothing. But those people, when they deviate from the message, that's what they're risking. And they don't. And they won't.

because there's too much wrapped up in it. Because there's individuals that will have differences of opinion about a certain thing, but they'll toe the line because they don't want to be excoriated over kind of not following that. Wait, stop. What's that word? Excoriated. Use that incentive for Darren, please. Excoriated. No, I think you'd get that word. The best part about this is the people that are going to listen to this are going to say, do you learn anything from that podcast? They're like, Scrabble words. That's what I get. I get those words. That's all I get. I think you get that.

Exsanguinated means you have all your blood drained out. Wow. He actually taught us what it is. He's actually using them right, I guess. I just thought he's thrown in. We're not noticing. See, the funny thing is I think he's going to come here at some point and just start making words up. Like idiots, we're just going to nod like, yes, I hear you. Bro, that word was totally cromulent.

That's a completely cromulent word. I would never make up a word that was so cromulent. Well, let's, you know, talking about, talking about evoking emotion. Let's get, you know, I want to talk about marketing in this segment because I got something yesterday that was just such a piece of crap. It was unbelievable. And it was a, it was an invitation or not invitation, but it was like an ad from,

a large trade group that I happen to be a member of. And it was for their statewide convention, which is now on zoom. And this ad consisted of saying that the header of it was, there's no reason this can't be fun. That's all it said. And it said on zoom on these days, and then here's your seven people. And most of them, I don't know. Right. Why would you, you know,

So it got me thinking, you know, as real estate agents, which is what, you know, our core competency in my business is, is we're paid to be great marketers. And so many people are so incredibly backstabbing.

And I just want to talk real quick, like what makes a compelling ad? For me, what makes a compelling ad is that it has to do a couple of things. Number one, it's got to tell you very, very quickly why you should either show up, buy this product, choose this product, take an action of some sort, explains what's in it for you. Quickly. Quickly. Don't make it about me. Tell me exactly, you know, tell me why I should do this. But two, it's got to invoke some sort of an emotion. Mm-hmm.

You got to want to belong. You've got to, it's got to make you laugh. It can even make you cringe. The best ad I ever did is my teddy bear ad. And we run it every year. And for those of you that will never see it, essentially what it is, is it's a teddy bear laying there with a giant butcher knife in its back, bleeding. And I just sent it out on Valentine's Day. And it says, not feeling love from your broker. It's time to simplify. And when I send that out, I get absolute hate mail from agents about how offensive it is.

Which forced me to then put out my public apology to the teddy bear community about how sorry I am and all the things that I'm going to do with my wokeness to not offend the teddy bear community further. And I get more legs out of that than anything else. And I think for me, it's like if you're not evoking an emotion and you're not explaining to me why you're doing it, don't put it out.

That's a great point, John. When you think about that, like let's say somebody was pissed off about your teddy bear. Which a lot of people are. Two years later, when they go, hey, I'm thinking about switching brokerages, they're not going to remember a goddamn thing about it. No, they don't remember that. They just know your name now. They just know the name. I mean, one of the best ads we ever ran was real estate brokerages suck, we suck less. But it's branding, right? Branding versus marketing, right? That's a whole different thing. So that's a part of branding. That is a huge thing.

that's a really valuable proposition, right? Because they don't know why they just know they know the name. Yeah. Do you, do you know why you know the name of all these businesses that you were aware of? Yeah. Cause you're exposed to it constantly and it's just, it's just on the first, it's on the top of your head. And then do you remember if they had ever done anything that you didn't like, unless it was Chili's Chili's going,

Going back to camera one. Chili's, let me tell you something. It's going to turn out like a wrestling promo. Oh, yeah. Chili's. Let me tell you something, Chili's. Margarita chicken.

Trying to serve me eight margaritas and then don't want my car. Oh, yeah. My sound quality policy. See, everything's fine and then you have to bring up Chili's. Like, I'm fine, I'm calm, and then you do that. That's because that's a power move. Power move. We got to get a noise. We got to get a noise. But it is. Marketing is...

A lot of people don't realize that. You sit there and you said that story, and I just hopped on Instagram. Did you see it? No, I did see it, and I laughed because I'm like, he's so true, right? But then you start looking at stuff when someone brings it to your attention, you start looking, and there's a lot of ads like that.

A lot of things. I'm just like, what am I looking at? You're not compelling. You're not invoking any type of emotion for me. It's a fire. And what's worse, you're not explaining what's in it for me. I don't know what you're doing. You've got to. Like real estate agents will send out stuff and puff about, here's my stats. Here's this, here's this, here's this. Tell me what's in it for me. Have you ever read that book called The Secrets of Great Rainmakers by Jeffrey Fox? Yes, I have.

Great book. Great book. He was talking about he was doing this security pitch, this first security system, and there was seven people pitching before her, and she was the eighth, the sales lady. And she walks into this meeting and sees a group of executives downtrodden from the seven prior pitches about how great we are, blah, blah, blah. She walks in and goes, what do you guys need? And they go, huh? They're waiting for this. We have this technology, blah, blah, blah.

She's like, what do you guys need? Where are your issues? Because everybody has a product. It's just, does our product make sense for you? Because if you have holes, we'll fill them. I'll show you how. What do you need? And they're all like, so she got the deal. I know where you're going. Going right back to Regina. Going back.

Back to Regina. He's from Regina. He knows how to fill holes. Well, let's wrap up before we go further down. Yeah, Colt's going to get us canceled, I'm sure. If not today, some point. Well, if you like what we do, man, make sure you like, subscribe, whatever you got to do, and come back and see us again. And remember, if you like us, tell a friend, but if you hate us, tell two, because it doesn't matter if you're talking good or bad. It's when they stop talking, you got a problem. Right? Fair, fair, fair. All right, boys. We'll see you next week. See you, bud.

Hey, it's John Gafford. If you want to catch up more and see what we're doing, you can always go to thejohngafford.com where we'll share any links that we've things we talked about on the show, as well as links to the YouTube where you can watch us live. And if you want to catch up with me on Instagram, you can always follow me at thejohngafford. I'm here. Give me a shout.