Why friendship can be just as meaningful as romantic love | Rhaina Cohen

2024/11/12

TED Talks Daily

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Rhaina Cohen

Rhaina Cohen: 本演讲挑战了将浪漫关系视为核心关系的传统观念，认为深厚的友谊可以与浪漫爱情同样重要，甚至在某些方面可以提供更持久的支持和陪伴。作者通过自身经历和对其他类似友谊的采访，展现了多种超越传统友谊界限的深厚关系，这些关系在某些方面甚至取代了浪漫伴侣的角色，提供了情感支持和实际帮助。演讲中提到的例子包括：一对法律认可的柏拉图式共同父母，一位朋友在另一位朋友与癌症抗争的六年里给予了无微不至的照顾，以及许多朋友建立了超越传统友谊界限的深厚关系。这些例子都展现了友谊在提供情感支持、实际帮助和长期陪伴方面的巨大潜力。作者指出，现代社会普遍将浪漫关系视为核心，而忽视了友谊的价值，这体现在社会观念、政策和媒体等方面。现行政策和制度对友谊的忽视，导致在需要支持和帮助时，朋友之间无法获得相应的权利和保障。对友谊价值的低估，可能来自外部社会压力，也可能来自个体自身对友谊的认知局限。演讲最后，作者呼吁重新认识友谊的潜力，并接受多种类型的亲密关系，这可以帮助人们找到爱、关怀和陪伴，并支持那些拥有深厚友谊的人。作者分享了自己与朋友共同生活和计划未来共同生活的经历，并表达了对未来拥有更多支持和陪伴的期许。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why might friendship be just as meaningful as romantic love?

Friendship can provide care, companionship, and emotional support, fulfilling basic human needs similar to those met in romantic relationships. It can also be central to one's life, sustaining individuals through unpredictable circumstances.

How do societal norms and policies impact the recognition of friendship as a significant relationship?

Society often marginalizes friendship, treating it as secondary to romantic relationships. This is reflected in policies that do not recognize the importance of friendships, such as not granting family medical leave or bereavement leave to friends who provide care and support.

What historical examples show that friendship has been central to human relationships in the past?

In ancient Rome, friends were described as 'half of my soul,' similar to how we describe romantic partners today. In various cultures, there were practices like sworn brotherhood, where friends would undergo rituals to become brothers, and friends would sit for portraits with intimate physical closeness.

How can recognizing the potential of friendship change our perspective on significant relationships?

By acknowledging that friendship can be as significant as romantic love, we can imagine more ways to find love, care, and companionship. This can lead to a more inclusive understanding of relationships, allowing people to build lives with friends and family, not just romantic partners.

What are some modern examples of deep friendships that challenge traditional relationship norms?

Examples include platonic co-parents, friends who support each other through addiction recovery, and friends who provide care during serious illnesses. These relationships often occupy the same space as romantic partnerships, demonstrating the depth and importance of friendship.

Chapters

The episode introduces Rhaina Cohen's talk on redefining the importance of friendship in our lives, challenging the conventional view that romantic relationships are central.

Rhaina Cohen challenges the centrality of romantic relationships in our lives.
Her talk envisions a future where friendship can be at the core of our lives.

Shownotes Transcript

We tend to consider romantic partners and family ties to be our most important relationships, but deep friendships can be just as meaningful. In a perspective-shifting talk, author Rhaina Cohen introduces us to the people unsettling norms by choosing a friend as a life partner — and shows why we're all better off recognizing there's more than one kind of significant other.

Why friendship can be just as meaningful as romantic love | Rhaina Cohen 09:59 Share