SUPERFLY #42 - Courtside at the LAKERS
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It's too close for the players. I feel bad. Five balls came to us. You know what I mean? No. And it's so awkward. Or I throw it back like I'm kind of good. Like, what do you want, a chest pass? There you go. I know those. I got a bounce pass. You're handling the ball more than Bronny. I mean, what's going on? Yeah, and Bronny's over there. Hey, come on, man. And then also when they're standing there to take the ball out one foot in front of you,

This is what they don't like when I go like that. That guy's open. That guy. Nope. Too late. That guy's open. So we're over that guy. We got to get right to it. We can't dilly dally. People told me, don't talk about your hair on the podcast. That's on YouTube. And they also say I look like I slept on my face. And today is not a good example of me not. So fuck them. You look like you slept on your face there. How about that? So. Hmm.

To catch you up, and the only thing I'll say on this whole podcast that will interest you. Right. I want to know. I went to a basketball game last night. Professional college. The Lakes. The Lakes against, who were they playing? I watched some of it. Grizzlies. Did they win? I fell asleep. I mean, should we have checked if John Morant was playing? Yes, we should have. He was not playing. He's not playing. No, no, no.

No. I mean, it's a new age where you have to check first to see if the basketball players are playing in the game. Well, I mean, the injuries are so extreme, right? That's what took him out. Well, I think he's an injury, but there's also a lot of sitting out or whatever they call it, resting and rotating. And, you know, I think Embiid was it got a little hot water for saying I'll be playing every other game this year.

Oh, really? I'll be doing every other podcast. I like the close-up emphasis. Listen, listen. Load management. That's what I call it. Like you always like to say when we read ads. Listen, now listen. You're 7'4", you're 280. Don't start defending. When they started this 82-game season...

Uh, the biggest guy in the league was six, four, one 70. So now they've got guys. I don't know. Bob Cousy. Yeah. Good one. Bob and Rick Barry from the snack bar. Pistol Pete was five, three. Yeah.

Well, he was probably 130. I'll give you that. His socks weighed more than him, ladies and gentlemen. Okay. So anyway, I see what it, what they mean by, you know, resting, but it's a monetary thing, right? They got it. They also, they did rest Bronnie, which I thought was good. Um, the paper towel or the athlete. Good night. Bronnie is, uh, related to LeBron James. And, uh, he's got, uh,

There's the bench and then there's a lazy boy chair that he gets to sit in. People give him, they give him a hassle because they say he's pampered. It's a tough road for Bronny because you don't pick your dad. First of all, I'm here to defend Bronny all day long. I mean, I will defend him. I'm here. Counterpoint. I will defend him in the hotel room.

I will defend them on fly on the wall and I will defend him here on super fly. Um, that was JFK doing Churchill. Anyway, look,

Nepo kid. He did not ask. He didn't pick. When he came from the stars to be born that could I have the greatest basketball ever to play the game as my dad? And then I'm going to be a basketball player too. So I have a lot of respect for that kid. Well, look, he's in the conference. Yeah. Yeah. Don't talk to me about my cream. Don't talk to me about my staffs and my Larry birds and, you know, Jordan, of course, but, um,

So I have so much respect for that kid. Cause the, you know, he, he, I just saw this on the news yesterday morning that they go, Oh, cause I knew I was going to the game. And I said, Oh,

And they said, Anthony Davis will play. And I said, great. Because he got poked in the eye the night before. And he was maybe going to be out. So he played and LeBron. So good enough. Even though John LeBron, it's good enough. And they said, Bronny is doing the G League. But he's saying he's not going to do the away games. He doesn't want to be that far away. So I said, at some point, you have to say, now it's your decision. You have to say, hey, I should rough it.

You know, instead of going, hey, I heard you suckers went to Sacramento last night because he was at the game and he was sitting on the bench. I'm like, Chris, why are these guys? Why is he here? I thought he was. Okay, let's unpack that. We may have to go longer. No. So.

Being in the flow, getting reps like our friends on Saturday Night Live. So if they had a G League for SNL, they would go to the sketches. Yeah, sketches. And they would get go back to the ground like more and more and more. So if Bronny is coming out because it's a it's a pretty deep bench, got a lot of great players and he's playing three or four minutes, he can go to the G League. They call the G League.

And play 40 minutes and get into his flow, into his rhythm. So that's why they send him down there. It's not a demotion. It's just, no, they do it in major leagues. You go down and you work on your swing or you hurt your shoulder. You go get back and you come back. I'm not. Yeah. I'm just saying I'm, I don't know. You're so close to trending right now. You're not a basketball show. No, I'm not. You're hot. No, I'm not.

No, I will. I will say it's funny when, well, Chris Rock is the one who we went together. And so it's funny when like the basketball players come down, sometimes they say hi, you know, and then at a certain point, the game's so long that when they come down, it's like seeing someone at a party over and over and you're like, hey.

Because they keep seeing you because you're right there. And it's so embarrassing because you look away like, I don't want to act like I'm trying to connect eyes. Repetitively acknowledging you, you know. Yeah, it's so gross. It's okay, Cuico. You did it early in the first quarter. I don't need a fourth quarter. Exactly. How many times can you go, hey, what's up? Hey, what's up? A ref came over to say hi.

That was nice. Really? I gave him a few notes, too. I had the concessionaire, the popcorn guy, kept repeatedly wanting me to sign his popcorn harness. Do you know my old joke about Sade, where I say...

shard a she comes to our country with no rules for any like how to say words and letters like she spells it s-a-d-e pronounce it shard a i spell my name s-p-a-d-e but i don't pronounce it ned you know and i go by the rules so behind me i hear hey fucking ned ned and i'm like oh my god it's dennis turn around it's jimmy miller

Oh, Jimmy Miller, which is Dennis' younger brother. Yeah, exactly Dennis, just the brother. Famous manager. He's with Tom Segura, who lost a lot of weight and shaved his beard. And I swear to you, I did not know it was Tom Segura for a second. I go, I turn around, I go, hey, oh, Jimmy, I thought it was Dennis. Then they go.

Tom Segura, wait a minute, shaved and lost a lot of weight. He wasn't that heavy. I mean, what is he down? He wasn't heavy. He's just, I think there's some, uh, movies doing and, uh,

Or whatever. He looks good, but it just took me a second. What happened underneath there when he shaved? I mean, you know, some guys... I knew a guy had a big... What happened? Had a big, big broom mustache. Yeah. You know, and he's like 45, 50, and I used to kind of make fun of my tousled hair, and I go, what's going on there? You know? Does he have one of those weird upper lips where his handsome crochet drops? Garth with a mustache. Yeah, he's like this.

I want the fans to tell us, should we do, I know we're a little long in the tooth, but should Mike and I do Wayne's World, a sketch at the 50th? I just want them to answer in the comments below. Yeah, on the comments on YouTube, yeah. That's a good idea. And also, should I shave my beard? Because that'll be less comments. But the whole story is I grew this beard

Because it sort of can shape your face a little more, you know? Totally. It's a good trick. And then, but it got gray overnight, so I didn't like that. But I got one compliment. That was what I always used to say. I got zero without it and I got one with it. So I said, the ones win and I will keep it. And so it's here for now. Oh, and a side story. I went back at halftime. Who's there? Sebastian. Was he? We just interviewed him. We just interviewed him. Oh, I love that guy. Yeah. Yeah.

You're coming backstage to hang out with the players over there. He was really laughing when we were doing our bad impression.

Should I go get some scallop potatoes? There's a guy on the bench. He's a bench sitter clipping his toenail. Everyone's clipping their toenail. And it really, the character. It's pretty funny. Yeah, because his character, you know immediately like he's completely upset that someone has band-aids on his toe. Everything's annoying him. Everything is annoying him. I get an Uber. I walk out in the street. Hey, are you Gagak?

Speaking of gag, I went to the pharmacy and I was buying some adult liquid refreshments beer. And anyway, sure. So the woman has an accent. I don't have any. I love immigrants. I am one. And she's wearing a mask. And so this is not a routine. It's literally what I heard. What?

You know, I mean. Oh, she's got a mask on. A mask and an accent. And I'm trying to interpret it. You mean you need an ID for the beer? That's what I heard. You know what's funny? I'm not even offended by your accent because I don't know which one you're doing to be offended yet. No, I don't know what it is. Yeah, exactly. But I do this for myself and it did not upset her. I started giving her the same sound back. Oh.

So she would go, and I'm just standing there. There's a line behind me. And I just go, and she understood me. She was asking if I wanted a receipt. I want to meet the human beings.

that go buy some potato chips and a beer and want to get the receipt? Give me that receipt. Are they writing it off? I mean, what did they want? I mean, hey, then you drive to Warren Grant's office and go, here's my $2.99 ruffles. I bought some Cheetos at a 7-Eleven last night. Can we get some kind of double deduction on that? Yeah.

Yeah, yeah. Also, then you look at TikTok and the most filthiest thing in the world other than toilet seats is receipts. Something about them is like poison and filthy. Yeah, that's funny. Also, that's funny, but back to the game, the last thing I'll tell you is- I want to hear it. A, when you get those courtside seats gifted upon you, because I didn't buy them, but someone let us use them from Brillstein. And then A, you're too close.

it's too close for the players i feel bad we five balls came to us you know what i mean like no and it's so awkward or i give them i throw it back like i'm kind of good like what do you want a chest pass there you go i know those i got a bounce pass you're handling the ball more than brawny i mean what's going on brawny's over there hey come on man and then um

Also, when they're standing there to take the ball out one foot in front of you, this is what they don't like when I go like that. That guy's open. Nope, too late. That guy's open. So we're over that guy. And they love that. And then also Rock reminded me that I didn't know when Michael Jordan hosted that we all went to McDonald's at lunch because we used to go under 30 Rock. And he goes, I miss the days when we go to McDonald's with MJ. And I go,

Tell me we went. And I don't remember. He goes, we all went. You could have gone. I don't know. He said, no, whoever was in the last sketch of the, before lunch, we always go to McDonald's me and rocks were eating poison all day. And so we went down and I think he just said, I'll go with you guys. And we're like, Oh my God. But did, did he had to be a big recognize? I mean, I was like, yes, yes, it's him. I was in the video store sketch. Yes, it's me.

Anyway, that was exciting. I'll tell you my quick MJ story. MJ, that's how close we were. Love that guy. You know, he's the most competitive athlete in history. So he just, uh, you know, and he has kind of an intense, uh, you know, he's six, seven or whatever. He just looks down at me and he goes, uh, do you golf?

And I go, oh, you know, a little bit. You know, what do you shoot? Well, I don't know. I mean, really, without taking a mulligan, I'd be lucky to break 100. He paused and said, well, you're not very good, are you? He sensed your weakness. I know. And he sounded like Jon Hamm in that moment. You're not very good, are you? But anyway, that's what he wants to play you and beat you.

I know. And I go, I had no ego about my, my golf game. You know, I'm better at croquet. Okay. How about a quick game of cribbage? Yeah. Why don't we, you know, play Stratego instead? I was good at Stratego. I bet you would be with your photographic memory. What a fucking nerd I was. Oh yeah. And now a word from our sponsors at Betterment. Do you want your money to be motivated?

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Is it tomorrow night or is it tonight? Oh, excuse me. Fuck me. It's tonight. Edit it. Edit it. Doesn't get show business. No, I like it better. You don't understand it. You know, I will say this. Let's talk about this fight because we'll be able to. I will say. Predict. We can stop saying Jake Paul's a YouTuber. He's fighting a YouTuber. This guy's 6'3", chiseled, 240 with.

you know, round the clock trainers for the last five years. That's not now fight Mr. Beast. Okay. That's fighting a YouTuber. A little out of shape, a little squishy. Uh, isn't training all day. He's had six, eight fights, something like that. He's fought, he fought, um,

Some MMA guys, right? He fought. Yeah. I can't remember which boxing isn't their number one thing. And then he's fighting guys in his forties. Now he's moving up to late fifties. Um, but yeah, I don't, I don't look at him like, look, if it's not Tyson, I go in tomorrow night. Um, what do I do? I'm fast. I'm quick. I duck.

Could he make contact? Could he make meaningful contact with me? I don't know. Meaningful. Would my punches land and hurt him? I don't know. No, anyone who goes in a ring with Mike Tyson, because he could have old man strength. You know, old man strength is different than young man strength. And so you are risking really getting hurt. So I have a lot of respect for Morgan. My dad.

used to get mad. We'd wrestle or something. And he'd throw me down. I'm like, that's old man strength. Like, I'm like, Oh, he's way stronger than I thought. Like, you don't think about it. Yeah. Why is it old man strength? And then eventually you're too old and they go, no, no, that's, that's not old man strength. Old man strength might last till 60. And then it's like, yeah, I think Biden isn't, isn't going to give those two guys a good fight. I think that Trump and he just were staring at each other, shaking hands.

And neither would let go and they were squeezing. Come on, man. Be serious here. I'm not kidding around. Trump's like, gonna squeeze it, never gonna let go, gonna squeeze it. That was not reported. You know what Trump does? He goes over. He does that one. I know. It's a power move. You go over.

I don't know why. I didn't know that, but that's something. He did a lot of things. He was sat further in the chair. He put his left side over for his stomach maybe coming in. So he's leaning in with a lot of leverage with his elbow here. And Biden had to go way over. Oh, weak arm. And he's like here bringing him in. So yeah, Trump knows all the moves. So does Putin. And that's why they either love each other or hate each other. I don't know. Something's going on. I saw a video of Trump walking in the old days when he was president the first time, walking behind like,

Like some guy in Saudi Arabia that's a king at the bottom says, you are not allowed to touch the royal king. And everyone walks around like this and Trump goes, hey, there's my guy and hits him on the shoulder as he walks by. I know. And everyone's like,

it's just a rule breaker i know later on he's like hey this guy he got the the king of saudi arabia got and got him in a headlock and like yeah you're terrific i love everything you're doing here you got a lot of sand look at it it's a lot of sand um but uh anyway jay paul listen i just who's gonna i just i don't want to predict i just want to see a fake fight

It's two minute rounds instead of three. It's eight rounds instead of 10 or 15. The gloves, I think, are 14 or 16, bigger than regular. Like this. Yeah. So you know what? Like, let's say you and I, we're going to fight for charity. Yeah.

And they're going to pay us. How much would you pay to take punishment from Carvey? No, I'd be too much. I couldn't take those. You would destroy me. No, you're scrappy. The thing is, I'm angry. That's the only thing I go for me. And I go, I go, my dad left me. Then it all comes out on you instead of my dad. There's only one thing worse in the world than the dad leaving the house.

And that's the dad stain. Oh, yeah. We both will coin toss this because we didn't really love it. But I think. Yeah. Okay. I think here's another problem, Dana. You know, boxing, you're pretty, you're an official. I like it. So what I don't like about this, A, it's not a sanctioned fight, Heather. This isn't like a real fight. This is an entertainment fight. They call it an exhibition. They call it an exhibition.

Exhibition fight. Shorter rounds. Shorter rounds. And you know what? Tyson gets paid per round. This is my problem. This is why people go, he's better in the first round. He's going to knock him out. No, no, no, no. Jake Paul made it staggered. This is what I've heard. Allegedly. So he gets more the longer the fight goes on. And what's happening, he's going to get tired or as long. And Jake Paul's no puss. He's a huge dude. So-

He could knock, you know, so I don't know. I know if Jay Paul survives it and 57 comes to bite, uh, sweet Mike Tyson, who I'm a huge fan of, um, in the ass. And that means once you get gas, you know, that's the word is gas. Like once, once you get gas and you can't really get your arms up, then you're really vulnerable, you know? So, yeah. Uh, I can see Tyson getting knocked out. Yeah. Because, uh,

I just think if he's not going to give it all, he fought Roy Jones four years ago. And it was more than a push fight, but they were obviously discussing like, let's give him a little fun, fun, fun. It was what Apollo Creed and Drago was supposed to be.

An exhibition. You know what I mean? Hey, goof around. You know, hey. Okay, let me do Drago just for a second. I must break you. I must break you. One of the great lines in... I love Stallone boxing. Drago was a great idea. That was a great... Oh, yeah. And he's chopping wood in the forest and that guy's on a... He's all wired up on a treadmill. He's with Elon Musk coaching him, you know. Yeah.

Benching the SpaceX. Yeah. Yeah. I would say split decision then in eight rounds, you know? Okay. And what if that is, we'll go next week. We'll say what happened. Tyson will be very, very magnanimous after the fight, you know? Listen, listen, I don't have any hate to Jake Paul. I don't hate him.

You know, he came to fight. You know, he said, I was scared. I was scared. I had been fighting in a while, but I just, you know, I got my boxing gloves on and I just went full beast mode, but I think it was a good fight. At the end, nobody got hurt. We got paid a lot of money. A lot of money. It's on Netflix. I'm going to watch. Yeah. Netflix has got money. I hope they got. Everything's changing, David. Not a pay-per-view. So I think they're going to get paid by the stream.

Let's talk to Ted. I would say they got upfront guarantees for Netflix. Upfront guarantees. They're not going to take a percentage of the gate. We should have had Ted on to promote it today. Damn it. Dumb. Dumb. Hi, I'm Ted Sorandos. Hello. It doesn't sound like that. If you say the name of who you're doing, you're halfway there. Hello, I'm Ted. I'm Ted Sorandos.

Are you doing Elon Musk this week on the show or no? You know, I never know. Last week they said on Thursday night, like at midnight, would you like to do Elon? And so I said, I'll give it a shot. So anyway. Right. You're a hired hand. They work, they tell you what to do and you do it. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it's just, um, you just try to do it. You, you, you take the source material and you try to extrapolate it, uh, into a character and make it kind of fun. What are you going to do? I don't know.

Oh, before we get to the headlines, did you, I did my SNL photo shoot we talked about last time I was going there. Did you do yours and how was it? Yes. It was nostalgic. You know, I got Molly Shannon walked in and then the director, David LaChapelle saw us together and goes, okay, you guys have chemistry. I'm going to put you two together. So then Molly got a sequin red dress on. She looked great. And

And then he's up there and he goes, put your arms around her waist and get close up with Molly. And I'm like, is this okay? And then he goes, put your hand on her mids and then put your hand up like I'm Steve McQueen or something. But she was adorable. She doesn't care less. Kate McGinnon was there.

Was Kate there? McKinnon? Was she? Yeah. Oh, McKinnon. Yes. Kate. I just call her Kate. All the people that were there. And what happened was,

Walken was there as in Christopher and he was, I was walking there. How great. And, um, no, no one's paying attention to him. He's reading a book on a couch back where my big, big room. So I just kind of sat next to him and started talking to him. He goes, he goes, uh, after a while he goes, I'm a huge fan of, of chopping broccoli. Uh,

Did he say that? I said, really? Yeah. Oh, that's a good one. How do you chop it broccoli? But anyway, he was so much interesting and fun to talk to. He was fascinated by my iPhone. He doesn't have one. He kept saying, I got to get me one of those, you know, because I was showing him pictures. First one. Oh, it lights up. So this is the fun part. Like I had done this sketch with him when he was hosting. Jack Handy wrote it that we're like aliens on this spaceship. And,

And we come down to earth in peace, but our door that lets us get down the ladder always kills a farmer or something. So we come out and they're all mad at us, you know? Oh, right. I remember that. Remember that one? So we just accidentally kill someone. We come in peace, but they're all angry. And then before we run back into the spaceship, his character always has to say, let's.

get out of here. And then we'd run up in the spaceship and he's laughing his ass off. So after the whole photo shoot, the whole thing, he's leaving. He's like 20 feet away. He turns to me and says it with full walk. And he goes, no, he does not get out of here. And

He just was laughing. Oh, my gosh. What a fun fucking moment. I know. How can we tell him how big he is, man, to us? Does he know that everyone just is, like, mesmerized by whatever he does? He just has no... No, he doesn't wear any ego. He's just fascinated by people and things, though, and just...

But he's, you know, you go back to Deer Hunter and just, and then you think about, oh, and then Wayne's World 2, he was in that, you know. Oh, shit, yeah. But I enjoyed talking to him and others. For our viewers at home, the photo shoot is a photo shoot for a magazine coming out for the 50th, right? So they want the 50th anniversary, get some,

It's not all cast. I thought mine would have 100 people because they say, you're on the West Coast. They're going to do New York also. But they might have done one or two days in each place.

Ours was same situation. It was a white box. Is that what you and Molly got into? You go into a white box and then that's when you do your kind of single shots. But up in the big, then they build this massive set and they take these big wide shots. And by the way, and guess what? The magazine is a regular size magazine, New York magazine, but it's going to fold out to, I think, five or six panels.

So to see all 60 people, you have to fold it all. Oh, is it 60? That's what I was told. Oh, I don't know. Cause I kept going, what are we doing here? Cause mine only had about 10 or 12 of us. Yeah. Our seem the thing I was at a host. You had a walking in it. We didn't have hosts. We had like 20. We're walking. Cause you know, he said he, I was in Singapore, you know, I ordered some food.

And the waiter comes back and says, it'd be so much better with more cowbell. Oh yeah. He still loves it. He gets hammered with cowbell. Yeah. That's number one. One time he said, he said, I ran into him somewhere. He goes, the movie Joe Dirt, you know, a lot of, a lot of people you wouldn't think saw it and come up to me and talk about it. Too many people.

Too many. So he said, I said, we might do another one. He goes, count me in. And then he actually did do it. The stud that he is. And I don't even know. I swear the first one, I can't even tell you he read it first because he just showed up and we sort of talked about it, but he's going to do whatever he's going to do anyway. But he sort of thought of it as a kind of a fun thing.

situation because it wasn't like a heavy movie, like probably like Waynesville. Like, yeah, anyway, he's a perfect go-to guy if he will go to, because he's very hard to even get ahold of kind of like that bill. Well, he doesn't have a telephone. He doesn't have a TV. He doesn't. I go, what do you do at night? And he says, well,

magazines i read magazines yeah yeah so sky mall all the new ones he's so eccentric but he is a he's a charming funny uh person to hang out with and um it's fun seeing everybody there you know just lots of we didn't have any hosts we had uh love seeing mulaney uh mulaney bill hater the guys are just like martin short we just crack up no matter what

What's going on? That was fun. You know, we got in that, we did our box photo. They had me go in there and do the thing where you do your own shots. We all laugh because you couldn't look stupider. Like at a certain point, he's going, maybe one with your hands in the air, grab your ear, put your own dick in your mouth. I'm like, okay, let's just get this done. Like you, you, you walk in there going, I just want one like this. Cool. And by the end you're like, yeah, I'm John Bonet running around with like a bowler hat. I know. So, so,

Then we go to the structured shot. Like you had where they go. Like the big set. But it's all like thought out. Like they have a blueprint. Okay. We're going to put Amy Poehler is up here. Yeah. You're down there and there's 80. So we, we did that. And then of course that's the funny part. Cause everyone's just yelling back. Cause he's yelling. They're all yelling for us. There's like 20 people watching. And then we're all yelling to be funny. And then that was funny because of course everyone's,

saying something good. And then it wasn't that bad. It was about two hours, three hours. Yeah. I mean, I was in the box getting the picture. And so when you get in the box and he's there and there's people all around him and he's got the camera and yeah, he's doing all that. And yes. And up and down and squeeze and look and left. And he's not looking at me. He's just looking off camera and just pressing the button at the monitor. Yeah. And I didn't realize it was the monitor. So then I, Oh, okay. Yeah. I ruined that.

So, yeah. But he goes, can you jump? Can you jump? That's what he told me. And I go, not really. He's like, okay. Because I'm trying to save myself. And then while we're up there, I'm just laughing the whole time because everyone there is funny and everyone's yelling something funny. And you can't stop anybody. And so it was just audience member laughing at everybody. Other than that, okay, now I guess we can get to some serious news. What's going on? David.

At this time of year, I'm just going to say this, and you can say whatever you want. Of course. Maybe you're looking back on all the amazing memories you have from 2024, especially if you're in love. Maybe you're already looking ahead to your plans in 2025. I'm doing a French accent. Go ahead. I'm doing a French accent because that's the language you love. And maybe those plans involved are getting engaged to one you're in love with.

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Right now, go to BlueNile.com and use code FLY for $50 off your purchase of $500 or more. That's $50 off with code FLY at BlueNile.com. BlueNile.com. Michelle, nope, it's not about you. It'll be a surprise. Now, the holidays are coming up. I don't know if you know this, Dana, but it is October and then it will be November. And then that's the holiday season. Yeah. They include, we include...

Halloween nut. So between traveling, having your family around, we've teamed up with Ring and it's helped them. Yeah. You know, because Ring cameras, which everyone knows. Everyone knows that. That's a household product at this point. You want to catch these merry moments because there's a lot, a lot of times I see online, there's funny videos.

And a lot of them are from Ring cameras. People leave the house, something funny happens. So you always have that. So from Ring doorbells that alert you when gifts arrive at the door to indoor cams that let you check in on pets to see if the creatures are stirring at home. Yeah, you can check in on your lovely dog. There's alarm kits that deliver peace of mind during your holiday travel. Ring has your whole home covered.

Wherever the season takes you, you're always home for the holidays with Ring. And I have Ring cameras. I think almost everyone does. Yeah, and you can talk to your dog through Ring. You can do whatever you want. We have people...

come to the door and it doesn't even, you don't have to be home. You just talk to them and say, Hey man, you know, just, uh, rob the place. If someone's at your door, you know, they're there. I mean, it does seem very good if you, you know, want to stay in touch with loved ones. Yeah. They're easy to install. Even Heather can do it. I can't, but Heather can do it. Who installed? Oh, Heather did. Yeah. You just plug it in. No, you just, you place it anywhere you want. You can have a couple, uh,

you know, it turns off the mic. If, if you want, you can adjust it. You know what I mean? And then the old that's indoors. You could do all that. And then you got the video doorbell, which everyone knows. Someone's at your door. Bing bong. You've hear it. You can answer the door. Um,

Speak to delivery people. Yeah, right. Exactly. You can see a high up and down low with the head to toe video. So you kind of really, you know, and tell them where to leave the packages. What can't it do in terms of this? I like that head to toe. That's a good description because I don't want to just see this. I want to see what am I dealing with here? So I had to ring.com to find the latest deals on ring video doorbells, cams,

and alarms and shop gifts for everyone on your list. It's a good gift. Hey, David, why do you want to learn a new language and where would you use it or how would it come in handy? Well, if I tour the road, I would go to mostly English places, but sometimes I want to go to these other countries and I do feel a little insecure about going without knowing a language.

And it's never too late, but it's also never too early. I mean, I should have done more when I was younger. This is Rosetta Stone we're talking about, and you should try to get in on this quickly because you probably learn quicker when you're younger. Definitely. Right?

You learn about cultural appreciation. You appreciate cultures when you start to learn a language and go to the culture. And also it's good for your brain, David. It does wake up your brain. Like I, I do like to study stuff about comedy and when I'm on the road and trying to memorize stuff, but yeah,

Definitely don't use the brain like that anymore. And I think it wakes it up and it's very good for you. You know, like you travel more. If I even go to Mexico, which is very close, I don't know if you know where it is, Dana. It's straight down from here. Straight down. I thought that was Hungary on our border. You thought it was Canada or Chechnya. Yeah, Canada is up and then Chechnya is down. Anyway, I'll look it up.

Yeah. Listen, this is a trusted expert, Rosetta Stone. 30 years, millions of users, 25 languages off. Let's just say a few. Spanish, French, Italian, German, Korean, Chinese, Japanese, Dutch, Arabic, Polish. I mean, good Lord. It immerses you in the way to think in that language. That's what you need. You get all the hits, how they speak.

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For 50% off, visit rosettastone.com slash fly. That's 50% off, folks. Unlimited access, 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com slash fly. Today, man rushed to hospital after stuffing 15 hard-boiled eggs up his bum.

it's a good one to start with I like you reading it yeah I know why we started that was a cold read this is the most important I literally said put them in order of importance of like what's sort of news this week what's just stupid this is number one this is it I guess wow that was a good cold read man rush this is for people only listen to this show there's a guy holding his rectum area can I say that

And a photo of a dozen eggs. And I guess they're up as behind. Dutch man. It says hospitalized, but I feel like it would be more rushed to the hospital. After inserting 15 hard-boiled eggs in his behind, while under the influence of drugs. This caused abdominal pain. No shit. Prompting emergency omelet. Shells or no shells. Shells or no shells. Heather wants to know. Can we get this guy on the phone?

Despite the unusual nature of the situation, doctors weren't baffled. They were able to treat him successfully.

Patient made a full recovery and even ate the omelet. Okay, this is an obscure impression. This is Bobby Kennedy to Jack Kennedy in 1962 when the Cuban Missile Crisis was going on and maybe we're going to blow up the world. He says, what do we do when the world asks why? And so that's what I do. The world asks why. I don't care what drug they are. Why so many eggs?

There's no drug called, oh, this is the ass eggs. Okay. Yeah. Let me try ass eggs. And after about 12, I know in my own experience, that's where I put a cap on it. I barely ever get to 12. And then there's three extra ones and someone's like, listen, while we're here, there's three more. Why don't we just go for the record? I don't know, man. Can I insert something here that I needed to mention? Yeah.

before we go to the next thing. So on the show, there's people who kind of take care of you. So, you know, there's Jody's designing all the wigs. This is on SNL. Oh, we're back to SNL. Sorry. No. Yeah, go ahead. On SNL. And I keep forgetting to mention her, but she has a very cool name. Her name is Inga Thrasher.

That's a pretty cool name. And she, what does she do? She gets my wig together and does all this stuff and the pinning and the glue and everything. And Morgan's my wardrobe person and Jody. And of course, Louie is the prosthetics guy. Maybe as we always say, best of the best over there. I just wanted to put that in. Yeah. They're all, they're all great under pressure because they're just used to it. It's all there is, is pressure in the show. It's a, it's a, it's a,

Welcome to Pressure Cooker. I'm your host. Welcome to. Okay. All right. Next one. Let's see. I would watch Pressure Cooker, that show. That's good. Okay. I'll read this one. 84-year-old doctor. Oh, my God. Another one? What? Ram's colonoscopy scope. Who is? Why are we starting with these? A scope up the rectum of unmedicated patient.

and couldn't hear ma'am screaming because he didn't have his hearing aid in. So the doctor didn't have his hearing aid in,

routine procedure turned into a frightening ordeal for a patient. The patient woke up screaming during a colonoscopy and the doctor didn't realize what was going on because the reports say that he didn't have his hearing aids. Your eyes were team couldn't communicate with Prasad either. And finally, the doctor is accused of allowing an unlicensed surgical tech to perform. There we go. Including colonoscopy scope. There we go. The guy at the end, like,

Dana, this is the news. This is the only thing that happened this week. This is what's going on. I want to follow up. I want to know what happens to this gentleman. I want to follow up on this in the ensuing weeks. So you're getting your colonoscopy. I guess, so now you're in pain. They can't watch you scream. You don't really even need to hear it. You're going, ah, and he's so involved and no one in the room

It must have been a real ragtag operation because no one else is there to tap him on the shoulder and say, this guy's screaming. I can hear. Yeah. And he screamed, but then the other guy was unlicensed, so he doesn't give a shit. So it all sounds a bit.

What did he go to a community hospital inside Disneyland? I mean, what's the thing? I mean, you know, they have anesthesia. They go count backwards and then you wake up in the bed all cozy. No, no, you're, you're, you're in a real place. That's what a real place. Yeah. I was at a Laker game once for going back to that. And one of the guys fell on us and the guy next to me took the worst of it and they took him to the Laker game hospital underneath.

There's like a medical center. So maybe it was done there. And you could shoot hoops while you're in the bed. Yeah. You just go in there and then just sneak by the weight room and grab some bike and in out of a bowl. Okay. Next one. Anything other than a colonoscopy we will take anything, anything without related to literally. Okay. Okay. This girl, I saw this happen the other day and I couldn't film it. This is not me filming it, but I had this exact same thing happen. This is someone getting on the freeway and

And there's a woman on a bird scooter in heels. This is Heather on the way to work. Yeah, that look. That's Heather. Yeah. So she is riding, if you can't see it.

No helmet, regular woman, just on her way to work. Heels dressed up, carrying a purse, I think, and going to work by taking the freeway. Yeah. Oh, she had her phone dangling on her arm. Another distraction. And I saw a guy on the freeway doing this. And I thought, what are you doing? Like, you can't even just in a car, you're unsafe.

And then all it takes is just brushing against this poor woman. No, I don't. In New York, they have these lanes now. So you cross the street and you have people coming like 40 miles an hour. They're basically motorcycles. They don't have helmets. They're like electric bicycles from Citibank. And other vehicles are just wishing by. And then in LA, they don't have a helmet. They're in traffic. So I don't understand how this became a thing. But I think.

You have to really watch yourself. I tell you what I want. Here's what I want from a motorcycle type thing. I don't want too much noise, like in Malibu where they're so loud, they scare the shit out of me and I almost crash. Right. But I also don't want dead silence like electric because I need to know what's going on. You need to hear someone because when motorcycles come up between traffic. Yeah. It scares a driver. And also you're kind of drifting around or you might change lanes.

It's all scary, Dan. It's scary out there. Go ahead. They're called organ donors. That's a good ending. That's true. Okay. This is Heather. Pay attention. This is for tattoo. Heather has a few tattoos, right? Okay. This is what some people are doing if they're more...

Extreme in that world. Okay. I haven't heard of this. Dermal punch. I have one of those. Anchor. Okay. Sickening even in a cartoon. It's like my act with all these noises. Okay. What's the end game? That's it. Okay.

Okay. Yeah, you can put anything. Like I put a D. Was that what it was? A D? Put a letter that is raised like Braille in your hand. Go ahead. The hand was my hand.

And I, it was you and I reveal it. No. What if it was, it was a D for Dana or Davey, your partner? I don't know. It could, it should have been D and D. We should promote that. But, um, yeah, so there, it's all that tissue growing and stuff. And then you have a, a tattoo or an, you know, you have a little, uh,

Egyptian Sphinx on the top of your hand. Yeah. I don't love it, but that's not my thing. Heather, have you heard of this before? Oh, it's been around. What? Look at how out of it I am. Do you have a tattoo? Well, I just saw that video and I'm like, I have two tattoos, but I'm not into that. You know, like people that do their eyes black, that really might be the worst one that I've seen. That's a more personal thing.

Oh, piercing. Yeah. Okay. You're right. You're right. You see people who go up and up and up and then they kind of have a neck, just a neck tattoo all around. It looks like they have a permanent, a neck brace to me. It looks uncomfortable even though it's, and then they start to creep up on the face and under the eye and around the hairline. I'm like, okay, either you're going to be in the show business or you're going to be on the unemployment line with the, yeah. The only job you can have is working at Arby's or something. Yeah.

Yeah. There's, it's really limiting because I saw on even, you know, sometimes you have a job where they say you have to cover your tattoos. You have to wear long sleeves at work. I saw just even a sports show. I was shocked that the guy had the neck tattoos with a suit on because I, it made me realize, oh, I guess they're not hiring those guys or they're covering it because a lot of people have some stuff.

But I rarely see those tattoos on those shows. There's still some sort of corporate edict where they don't really want. They don't really want them. When I was a kid, you'd see a World War Two guy probably in his 60s by that point. And he would just have an anchor tattoo.

on his shoulder. The old anchor. That was it. You know, and it was like he was in the Navy and he had an anchor. So I think I would just have a microphone tattoo or something or a stand up stage, you know, kind of like the improv stand up stage. I'm obsessed with show business or the name of all your specials down your arm. Even the new one. Heather said your new name. I told him already.

Yeah. Come and get some. Yeah, that's a good name for a special. Now, was that expression around before I started doing it? Come and get some? As a figure of speech? I mean, maybe it's like a fight. Come and get some. Or it's like the mom-pa kettle ringing the bell at five o'clock. Come and get some. That's more come and get it. But also Rackham has been around, but I like Rackham. Okay. And then what's the next one? Let's see.

Hang on, let me see what this is. Oh, I think this is interesting. This is a 3D printed neighborhood. This would affect construction. Let's play it. Oh, that's interesting, yeah. This is a 3D printed neighborhood outside Austin, Texas, where 100 homes were built using AI and robotics. It's crazy. They're made by a company called Icon, who's developing sleek, energy-efficient homes that come decked out with solar panels, thick concrete walls, and a pretty gorgeous living space. But the craziest part? They're actually affordable.

By using 3D automation, Icon can make these houses faster and cheaper than anyone else. They can print the core structure of a home in 24 hours. And although 3D printing tech has moved slower than we thought, it's finally starting to happen because Icon also made the first 3D printed hotel.

And another suburban community in Texas is on the way. There's so much more here, but by 3D printing homes, they could actually solve the housing crisis. Think about it. Prices have skyrocketed because of the supply shortage. So by rapidly increasing home production for a fraction of the cost, young people may actually be able to afford a home. And these houses are beautiful. It's a no-brainer. So fire up the 3D printers and... You know, if they can... Listen, all I got from that, if they can make it fast...

make it cheaper and people can buy houses, that would be great. That's the positive. I mean, the negative is it takes away from

someone who does those jobs you know what i mean well you add someone who makes a house in a redwood grove that has some history to it that was the baby boomers and now you're just uh give me a square cubicle it's like a doll house that's a little larger basically yeah you used to go i like this because it's spanish i like this because it has history now or in new york it's built in 1912 but now it's like give me a uh shelter

literally just get square. Maybe they look cool. I don't know. And maybe they could be, they looked good. They look like real houses. I will probably 30 grand or something. I don't really, wherever you go, there you are. And I've always said to people, you don't, you, you live here in your brain and your body, you know, you occupy a house. It's not where you live. Good night. Little wisdom. Oh, it's true. Sometimes when I used to get,

mad or sad and then I go I'm going to go to Hawaii and I'm like wait I'm still going to be there so you're trying to you're like getting away from your problems but the truth is you're just thinking all the same stuff in a new location right and everything you own owns you back in some way you have to maintain it ensure it use it yeah

Yeah, that's true. I got a lot more wisdom. I'll do it on this episode. Maybe just scribble it down and email it to me. I got a ton. Okay. This was a funny one because, you know, this is late, but at Halloween, people do different, you know, Wayne's World costumes or bench warmers. This one's a pretty good one for a scene in Grown Ups. So not only do they dress up like us, but they did a scene. They put work into it. That's interesting.

This is a scene from the movie you've never seen, I'm sure, Dana. Shot by shot. That's Spade when I had red short. That's me running away. Yeah. That's Buscemi with the cast on, yeah. Kevin James pulls a hamstring. They don't have a lot to work with. It's a small backyard, but it's working. Spade face down in poop. Chris Rock runs like that in the movie. It's pretty accurate so far, Sandler. Oh, Sandler picks up the dog. Yeah. That's heavy.

That's a heavy dog. It's a big dog. Frame by frame. Oh, still going. Oh yeah. The arrow is in the air and there's Schneider. He's excited because he's going to win. That's pretty good. Arrow landing his foot. Wow. Jeez. Isn't that good? Let's get him. Let's get him a deal with happy Madison to do a movie. We've already done. No, do another movie, but that was good for using a small backyard.

A lot of cuts, pretty accurate, low budge, but, uh, you know, plus the half of the scene, that was an ACDC song in the real movie, but grownups has Pina Colada in that, in, in the movie, which is also could be the hookiest greatest song. I love, I love the song. It's got a great story that no one even listens to. I've told you this. I know. I totally understand. Oh, we are going to have to cut the music. Oh,

We just got word because it's the Pina Colada song, but we can't afford Jack's shit on this show. Damn. We'd have to pay. Oh, it's good. They did a good job. So just picture, if you like coladas, you know what kind, I'm not going to say it. Don't want to get in trouble. Don't pull us down. Can we just hum over it? But that song, because it's a guy lives with a girl.

And he sees a personal ad about someone that likes all these things. They used to have personal ads instead of Tinder. Yeah. And then he reads it next to his girlfriend. He goes, it sounds mean, but I was sort of bored in this situation. And I said, oh, you like all these things. So do I. Let's go meet. So he sneaks out the next day to meet her and he walks in and it's his girlfriend.

Two things I love about it. One is that it's just so silly and so ridiculous. And two is it's just all these friends are doing it with you. Chris Rock comes in, Shiner. It's just funny. Nick Schwartz, whoever was in it. I don't know. Yeah. It's very charming. It's a charming, funny movie. Movie's charming. Pina Colada's song is charming. And let's keep going. Available on live streaming wherever you get your live streamings.

Kim Kardashian visits Fashion Archive. Oh, this is where they're keeping, not her closet, but where she keeps more of her stuff. I just want to see kind of where I've been and where I want to go. This is everybody in their closet. 30,000 pieces of clothing. I have thousands and thousands of clothes. I think I have like 30,000 pieces. Yeah.

God dang. Photos. Organized. This is so fun to see your style evolution. Fun? I would throw up. It's terrifying. Do you feel like you'll ever sort of style-wise go back to the stuff that you used to wear? Well, I don't know. Oh, that's like my biggest insecurity. I like that she's shopping at her own store of her own closet. It's so easy that I have my closet. And it's just I have my Balenciaga room. And I'm like, okay, cool. And you don't have to think about it. Yeah. I love that.

But I also feel like for a long time too, you've been so dependent on Kanye and the team. When it comes to my style, I mean, I've always had Kanye there as like this crutch to teach me so much about fashion and having that not be there as my crutch to like guide me.

I'm the same way. I love how they're unabashed. Unabashed. They own it. Okay, that's enough. I mean, I'd say...

Well, do you need advice from Kanye? If you say to some kind of designer of clothes, can I have 30,000 clothes, pieces of clothing here? You're going to have a few. Something's going to work. Something's going to work. And then once again, weight management. You don't want to go too thin or too heavy, and then you have 30,000 things that you can't fit into. So she has to be very careful. Or she probably fits in all of them. It just...

Where do you start? I'd be so overwhelmed. I couldn't even see straight because I have a storage unit, literally use nothing from it. Cannot get rid of it. Warren Grant talks about this all the time. Everyone does this. And then one month they lapse and they sell everything, which happened to Kanye. They set, it happened to Paris Hilton. So you have to, it's more stress because you have to pay every month or they just pull it and then they can sell it. And I don't know what's in there, but I don't want to throw it away.

but nobody wants it and i don't want it but i'm scared it's all sentimental yeah i mean i just can't stand buying clothes in a clothing store i just i so i'm terrible i just have black t-shirts and then you know where i got this you just this photo shoot don't you say it photo shoot shot and you walked with it well a guy said i'll see if you can take it and i kept walking

And it was $98. Let's get out of here. Let's get out of here. And then walking, waited for me near his car. We were all leaving. He goes, you're taking the jacket without permission. Badass shoplifter. But I don't know. I went into the gap and I walked around and I don't know. And then you go on the dressing room. I just couldn't find anything. They tell you, Hey, you need anything?

What about now? You're in a different aisle. Now? Yeah, they knock. They knock. How's that pant? How's that pant going? How's your pant feeling? How's your wiener in there? Are you okay? How do you answer to that? How's that pant? It's always singular. It's a horror show, man. I don't know if I'm supposed to put my leg in the hole or where. I need help. I need...

I don't like an overzealous salesperson. Yeah. How about when you're eating and they go, how are those first couple bites going? Yeah. How's that taste? Pretty good. How's that taste? Yeah. Did you chew it? And then how was the chewing? Mm-hmm.

You like our forks? Forks good so far? Forks holding all the food on the fork? Well, wait a minute. Now let me get this straight. You're opening your mouth and using a metal device to shove it into your orifice? Yes. Guilty as charged. And is that going good? So you like the restaurant. That's what you're saying. Uh-huh. And then sometimes you get that sort of almost sexual aggression. You liking it? Huh?

How do you like that calamari? Huh? Want to have more of it? Want some more? I'll get you some more. I like what you're doing with it. I'll get you some more calamari. That's your thing. Get you some. You like jamming it in there? I don't. Can I have your leftovers? What does that mean? Oh, yeah. Taking it with you? By the way, I like when you act rich because you feel like an asshole. I don't eat everything. You want me to put that in a box, right? I go, I want to forget I was here. They're like,

Where are you, by the way, in your fantasy story? What restaurant? With a bunch of food around me like this. The Beverly Hills Hotel. And then I had scallop potatoes and everything. And I eat three bites. And I go, that's good. And they go, you want to take this to go?

And then I feel guilty and I go, yes. Then I leave it on the hostess stand and when I walk out. Well, when I go on one of those Asian fusion restaurants with you, I know I don't really have to order. I don't have to order because you're going to order like nine things. I do order a lot. A little bit. But that's great because I don't have to order. Yeah, and then I go, you're saying everything but the word koi. I know what you're doing. Because I hate ordering and so it's just so cool. I just don't order. Yeah. Okay, so.

We'll do one more. We got time for one more. Pick a really good one. Yeah. I don't know if this is good. What is this? Whatever the best one is. Okay, here it is. I don't know. I don't know what this is at all. Let me see. Turn cussing out bosses into a viral business. And honestly, it's genius. If you've ever wanted to tell your boss or coworker how you really feel, but you don't really want to lose your job, this guy does it for you. You submit an anonymous complaint.

He will show up to your work. He yells at someone. And rip them a new one while also seeing your complaints verbatim. He comes into work every day with the same gray plaid button up with gray undershirts. Heather's scribbling out what she's going to have this guy wear. He has some help, but if they're not in your area, they can also make phone calls to your boss and do the same thing. He has turned cussing out bosses. Okay, stop. Interesting. So you hire him.

You hire someone as a surrogate for you to go in and cuss out your boss. But first of all, this is so asinine because I could see, obviously you'll probably get fired. So I could see this service for breaking up with someone. You hire someone to go tell them, hey, it's not working out in a nice middleman way. Maybe. Is that possible? That's possible. Right, Heather? I'd be hiring a middleman.

Oh, yeah. Oh, the guy? Oh, it'd be horrible. No, I could say only women can hire him to break up with guys. That's better.

Now, of course it's horrible. I'm saying, would people do it? It's the only thing worse than a text breakup. I would hire someone to go to the IRS and break the news that it's just not happening this year with Tana Garner. Look, I can't make, I'll get you in a couple of years. I would hire a guy to do that. No, that's just not working with you paying. Just, yeah, it's just not, it's not happening this year. Whatever you think you're getting from me. Think again, this is my surrogate. And you,

The guy I'm thinking of is right there on the screen. I will pay. I say David Spade. I work with David Spade. He's saying he's seen what you're doing with the money.

That he's putting in. He doesn't like it. And now he's cutting you guys off. He's tapping out. I'm here representing him. He's yeah. Yeah. He stepped out. He doesn't like what's going on. No hard feelings. He's just not paying anymore. Yeah. Yeah. I had a, an accountant once that he had a little room in his office with no windows and they would put the heat up to like a hundred degrees and

And then we had the IRS guys go in there. They'd be like, okay, sure. That's a deduction. What the fuck? Oh, just to get rid of them. Oh, that's great. Drenching sweat. They're cramping up. It's okay, man. You know, cramping up, write it all off. Just send us 5%. Not a bad idea. Make it uncomfortable. I heard when you go into Burger King, there's those little plastic seats and all these fast food restaurants because they don't want you to stay.

It's uncomfortable. You just get through your lunch and you're like, I'm not real. Let's get out of here. Okay. Let's do some comedy writing. I'll do some comedy writing with you. Okay. There's Burger King. There's Dairy Queen. What's next?

Jack in the box. Jack. I guess that's kind of king, queen and Jack. All right. Well, we wrote something. Yeah. Okay. Jesus can't figure out who to go to, you know, either the dairy queen, the burger King or the Jack off in the box. That was the joke I did in high school for my friends. And that's a good one. Killed them when they were still trying to meet girls.

I saw, and I didn't want to tell Heather this, it looks like they're closing my favorite Wendy's on sunset. I don't know if they're closing it, but they put the green fence and you don't want a green fence around. That means reconstruction or teardown. And when I'm on my street and there's a green fence, I'm like, well, two years starting now.

of trucks, beep, beep, bulldozers, cement trucks, blocking, stop, auto, go around. Ooh, ooh. They're making a Skims near me, which is Kardashian's company. Hmm.

Hallelujah. It used to be called spandex, right? Now she called it skims. It used to be called granny panties. And then spandex. They're like, we have the sexiest, highest-waisted beige underpants. I'm like, obviously selling to women, not men. So it's not... It is what it is. But anyway, they're building it and ripping it down. There's a crane that was 300 feet tall the other day. I go, everyone's stopping me. Go around. You can't drive. Damn. And you're saying they're...

Throwing out your precious Wendy's and putting in Wendy's. Can I ask you a question? Because I haven't been to Wendy's in a long, long time. 60s. What do you buy at Wendy's that's so good? I mean, what's their... Why Wendy's? Dana, speak to that. You're like, you have the floor. You know, it's tough. I love... The problem is there's a Burger King...

across from it, which is really, you know, you're in a fatso area because like on the freeway, they have Wendy's, McDonald's, Burger King, like all in a row, Dairy Queen. So obviously people are like picking, choose your poison. So I think if I had to put them in order, I go to McDonald's the most. But at Wendy's, I would get a single cheese, mustard only. And the fries are not bad. They're not my favorite, but they're good.

Diet Coke. Well, if Bobby Kennedy has his way, I mean, it's going to, there's going to be a lot of stuff about fast food. He's going to. What if he's the guy there with a hard hat going, we're starting right here. Oh yeah. I'll have a double. I'll have a double Wendy's with cheese and a milkshake. No, no, it's me now. You're not getting shit. What is robot Bobby Kennedy Jr. I,

Like a single cheese and a booster shot. You're not getting any of that. But how big would his program be if he's individually in one Wendy's just trying to stop a few people? So it's probably not going to be that bad, you know, unless he creates robots with AI, you know.

I don't think you should be having this food. I think quite frankly, it's poison and you shouldn't be eating it. So I'm here by shutting down Wendy's and get the fuck out of here. David sunset and La Brea. I loved you and Joe dirt, but the podcast isn't working. It's not working. We should have him come on and teach us about nutrition because you need some nutritioning up data. We all do. Uh,

Absolutely. I think it's probably, probably he'll do good. I assume, you know, I'm always in. I'm like, is it bad that I'm eating captain crunch still every morning? Oh my God. That's the word. Shit. Well, available here is the Faustian deal because there are no solutions, only trade offs and policy. Yeah. So,

What's worse? People going to fast food places and dying of diseases and being obese. Or you go to McDonald's and there's a government guy there with a hat on. I'd like you to step on the scale, sir. First. Okay. All right. And here's what you can order. A lettuce burger. Yeah. You should be able to pick. I don't know. It's shitty stuff.

Yeah. But, but I would think people, it should be a treat, not like your staple ideally, because it's expensive. You can get a,

This is educational alert. A sweet potato and some spinach and maybe a little can of albacore tuna for like a buck 50 at a, you know, at a kind of a route. Seven lemon. Yeah. So you can eat. Eat well is cheap eating and fast food. Like you do. You go out every day and you drop like 20 bucks on a burger. Get in that car and you go.

I love everything like you do. Like, you know, you know, you, you, you do and your people, you know, you are. Yeah. All right. I think that's a good bang ending. I think that's good. Also, I wanted to say sweet potatoes. Okay. I know. What are you going to do, man? You like it? You like, you like to live in Cuba, man. They tell you what to do. I tell you what to think, man. They treat you like an animal. I'm here. I want my fucking human rights.

For the fans, anyone who's listening to this late at night, there was when Scarface is getting interrogated, the chief interrogator, I could tell his voice is being overdubbed because I got an ear, you know. And I believe the voice that was used was Mr. Charles Durning, which was an actor from that. Oh, I love. Charles Durning. I was thinking of Bruce Dern, but Charles Durning. I believe that was his name. And he overdubbed that.

man's uh that whatever his he was in the beginning the interrogation scene the beginning of scarface when he first lands in america trivia trivia for the people in the comments okay and i will have an announcement on the show next week that's a cliffhanger okay tyson and five okay i say decision tyson i can't bet against tyson i just can't i can't do it so tyson

Because they're going to make them go all the way, I think, for more money. I think, according to my fake calculations. Yeah. All right, we'll see. See you next week. See you next week, everybody. This has been a presentation of Odyssey Superfly. It's executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Heather Santoro, and Greg Holtzman. Hope you liked it.