Sean Hayes
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's because they're naked. Well, it's like the 1800 time you say on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, Hey, I'll go there. I'll get an Airbnb. So, um, you won't regret it. I'm a nibbler Dana. And I think you are too, but you always know me that I just have to keep the energy going. Um,

And I think because I learned from my dad, pistachios are a good source of just, you know, nibble, wake you up. They're always delicious. I actually named a character in a movie I did called Master of Disguise. The lead character's name is pistachio. That's how much I love pistachios. Yeah. Well, wonderful pistachios have literally come out of their shells. It's the same taste. It's delicious, but...

It's a lot less work. As you know, cracking them open can be a little bit of a job. Less cracking, more snacking is what I say. That's what I say. That's what you say. And I'm going to use that when my wife goes to the store. Wonderful pistachios. No shells. Flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors, including chili roasted. Honey roasted. Mm-hmm.

Sea salt and vinegar, smoky barbecue. Sea salt and pepper is one I like the most. And I'm going to try this jalapeno lime. They don't have a red, red necky flavor just yet. Yeah, look at him there. Red, red necky loves pistachios. I like to crack things open and put them in my mouth.

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Next time you're shopping for snacks, you're craving something crunchy, something satisfying, ditch the bag of chips and grab Wonderful Pistachios, no shells. Your body and taste buds will thank us because we told you about them. Visit WonderfulPistachios.com to learn more. Dana, we got Sean Hayes today who is, you know him from a lot of things. He's also one-fifth of the three guys on SmartLess.

And I should have given him that joke when he was here. Sean Hayes is the, I think he's right up there with the guy you'd want to, uh,

sit next to it at award show or something, or he will go into a restaurant. He's there like he is. Yeah. Effusively fun up and positive and funny. Yeah, it's true. I've seen him at Koi and that's where I saw him. And we talked about it on smart list, but I've seen him and he's always fun. I'll go to his table. Look on my table. We just do bits and he's always a laugh. Upbeat,

Great on Smartless. I was kidding. You know, he's one, like when we were doing Just Shoot Me. Oh, a few people remember? Thank you. And he was doing One of Grace. I think he was there when we were all up for a...

he was always like smoking me in like the Emmys, like we'd all be up for supporting. But I think one time he and I got up for Golden Globe and it was, I should have asked him this because it was back when that supporting actor was just actor on TV, which is way harder. So you're up against everything. So I think it was me and him and then two people from ER, which is a drama. And then

Gregory Peck. Wow. From Moby Dick, a movie on TV. And so I'm like, just give it to, why are we even having a contest? Cause like a legend. And then he got up to give his speech cause he smoked all of us. And then he said, I can't believe I'm getting a,

an award for a 90 second cameo. I was like, that's all you did. I'm in assault minds for 22 episodes a week. Mumbling my jokes. I can't believe that I'm getting an award for 90 seconds of worse. I'm Gregory Peck. Sorry. Best I could do in a bit. Yeah, that's how he was. And he killed it. Oh yeah. I think exactly. He goes, Moby Dick. I'm going to throw a spear at you. Well, when I was, when I was on the sharing at live, the category was,

for getting an Emmy was variety. So you'd be up against jugglers, you know, people swallowing fish and just a pogo stick star. I mean, someone from AGT award shows the, uh, you know, the inaugural address of the president. I mean, it was the most eclectic, uh,

But after unicyclists, I find, you know, so, but back to our guests, John Hayes, uh, I would listen to this one. If you want to be in a good mood and hear a lot about John Hayes and all, all the stuff he's done, you know, from Will and Grace forward, he's just keeps working and, and smart lists. We are a little, they are like the Borg. If you know the references, the smart list guys are doing very well on their podcasts. Let's put it that way.

And Sean's a big part of that. He's done Broadway. We talk about that. Yep. We talk about everything. And without further ado. Oh, bless you. Here's Sean Hayes. Let's just get through this one. Let's get through it. We are finally talking to a pro. We're talking to a pro. I'm a little nervous. No, no, no. This is wonderful to see you both. David, good morning. Looks like you just woke up. He's stretching. The very first time I saw you.

The beauty of Zoom. He's been up for six hours. No one knows watching. Yes. Dana, are you at home? Is everybody at home? I'm at home, yeah. Yeah, all right. Which is, where are you? I'm at an old folks home. Where are you, Sean? My room's next to David's in the old folks home. We have a knock system. One knock means come over. Two means no, come over to me. Three knocks means what are you having for dinner? That whole thing on the wall, through the wall. I did that with my sister when I was a kid.

Oh, that was your system? Yeah. Yeah, that was my system. My sister used to pay me her allowance to make her laugh. Really? Yeah, the younger sister. And I would get a tennis racket, pretend I was playing it. I don't know. It was, what did you do? My stepdad used to knock three times. That meant I'm going to do something and you're not going to tell anyone.

Oh, gee. Anyway, so what else is going on, guys? So what else is going on? Sean, how's your life? Let's not go down that rabbit hole. My life is good. Everything's really, really good. I mean, I love your podcast. It's too good. It's too good, Sean. That's what we're here about.

It's just as good as yours. I mean, it's just... Do you listen to... I refer to your podcast a lot. I've called you the smart list guys. You're kind of like the Borg if you watch Star Trek 9th Generation. You're like,

The you're like the seniors at Chimney Corner and David and I are with, you know, lunch pails in the in the bleachers. It's like you can never know that smartless guys. No, my my husband is obsessed with Star Trek. I don't really know Star Trek, but I know Borgs. But I was with you guys for the lunch pails.

I'm with you guys. Yeah. I'm like, you know, I'm sci-fi nerd geek, but I, but just not Star Trek. I just never got into it. Well, what, what's your, cause I'm, I'm a little in that area. What's, what's your, uh, what's your area? I love Star Wars. I love like ex machina, like, like single stand. Arrival. Oh yeah. Did you see it, David?

I saw X Machina and that's what I was saying. That was a robot, but, but arrival. I liked it so much. I brought my wife back the next day. Who's not a real science fiction fan was mesmerized by it. So yeah, it's like a very sixth sense. Like if you don't know that all of her flashbacks are really flash forwards, um,

Like I had to watch it again because I thought it was so clever. Is that Amy Adams? Amy Adams and Jeremy Renner. Thank God. Great. Great. Yeah. That was a great one. I love all that stuff. You do? I'm into UFOs. On my algo, it's all about UFOs. Yeah. And did you like how they rebranded it to UAPs, right?

And I did. Why does that help? But because I'm, well, are we going to get into it? We're going to do it. I love it. UFO to UAP. That's right. So because, because you have, it's almost like we need to, when politicians rebrand things or like people in this country, it's because they're onto you or something. So UFO is a really identified flying object. How is that different than,

Unidentified aerial phenomenon. Phenomenon. It's the same thing. Why did we repand it? Listen, J-Lo is Jennifer Lopez. She switched it, but I know what was going on. She was the same person. Yeah. Yeah, and you can identify her like that. It's a very similar situation. We asked...

David told William Shatner, one of our guests, that he believed in UFOs. William Shatner, he was 92 at the time. He did a 10-minute thing about mirages in the desert. Very clever, very articulate. And I'll never forget that. So when you say you hear about... What is mirages in the desert? That they exist or don't exist? Well, just that...

Of course you're going to see things you can't explain. You know, I think it was not pro little Martians. I can't believe there's not one, you know, do you like Star Trek? Yeah.

No, like I like the Star Trek movies, by the way. I like the movies that JJ did. Yeah. But I just did. I don't know the history. So I couldn't I don't know, like the relationship. Anyway, I digress. But anyway, UFOs. Yes. I want to know what you believe in. Do you believe there's aliens are here? I totally believe. No, I don't know that they're here. But I believe all the stuff that we've seen, like the footage and stuff that the military has. They have to have come here. It just doesn't. Did you see Prometheus?

Yeah. Did you, David? What's, can you use it in a sentence? David Lee. Prometheus. No, I thought there was a spelling bee. No, I, I, uh, did I, is that with ex machina's boyfriend? Fassbender? Yes. Oh yeah. Are they really dating in real life? Oh yeah. Yeah.

Oh, no. He's married to somebody else. Yeah. Alicia Vicklander. Yeah. Vicklander. Good one, David. Wow. That's terrific. I look dumb. So that's the idea that aliens have visited and maybe seeded us all 2001. Well, were you, Dana, are you a big fan of Prometheus? Because I have a little scoop.

Well, I am a big fan and I don't think they're going to make another one unless you've got a scoop. No, I think they're... No. But I have a scoop about... I don't know if it's true, but I heard that the reason why people had... They cut out a big section of that movie. It's what I heard. I don't know if it's true. Okay. Where they explain why the engineer, the big alien at the end came and started. So...

they explained it through the Bible that Jesus was gone. You know, the Bible, they don't talk about Jesus for like 30 years or whatever it is. During that time that that engineer plucked him from earth, took him back to their planet, teach them how to teach to how humanity should go. And that locked him back down. That's why in the Bible, he pre-appears at one is thirties. And then they get it wrong because people are still treating each other like shit. So the engineers come back and want to swipe at the whole earth away and start over again.

So it's like a little Bible thing that they cut out there. Right, right. Yeah, and it was Ridley Scott's explanation for why Jesus was missing in the Bible for so many years, which I think is really a great idea. I didn't get any of that. I did see it. I was going to say, is it Ridley Scott? I watched The Passion of the Christ two nights ago. And? Can't beat it. That was a pun. No, it's a...

It's a joke from the movie. Yeah. That was the tagline. I don't know. It was on the posters. Anyway, Catholicism is very, very interesting.

So, yeah, I grew up Catholic. Did you guys grow up Catholic? I'm a lapsed Lutheran, but now I go to Catholic church with my wife. Lapsed Lutheran. Well, I go like that because I see the friars there and I go, hell, I go like that. They go, you could get it. I don't do the way for it. He says you could go up and cross your arms and get a blessing. I never, even as a kid, I could say something, but we'd have to cut it.

We'll cut it. We'll say we'll cut it. No, I can't. I can't take the risk. No, I was a horny gay kid. You can say that. Yeah, I can say that. Yes. And I know where you're going.

at 13 or 14 years old. So I was, and then that's when all the news came out about the horrible molestation in the Catholic church. But for me, I would have killed to date anybody at the time. So that's all I'll say about that. I thought you were saying, why is Jesus always like in a loincloth with a 12 pack? I mean, right, right. Uh, you were going to say, why aren't these priests eyeballing me? Were you changing your outfits?

I didn't say it. Okay, I'm just saying that's a normal scenario if you're a kid. You don't know. No, no, you're just a kid. That's all. Most stations are horrible. I wasn't saying like

Anyway, you're like, I'm just a kid. I'm just a kid. That's not sexy. I'm going on record of hating all child abuse. I'm just, you guys can win. Yeah. I'm anti child abuse. I have to say it. I am anti child abuse as well. Yeah. It's something you have to proclaim. And I'm anti podcasts that wander into child abuse and make jokes. I hate it all. Okay.

We're all in sync. But I grew up Catholic. And so we were forced to go to church and CCD classes, like we're Bible classes as kids. But yeah, I never really got into it. There was two chapels. And me and my oldest brother would always be like, bye, mom. We're going to go to the other chapel. We were just playing in the backyard of the church.

Oh, you didn't go to the chapel. Well, there were five of us, and if our parents slept past 9 a.m., we knew we didn't have to go. So we would be like, we may not have to go because we have to put our church pants on. Right. Which my brother Scott, we shared a bedroom. We had to put church pants on, and we didn't want to be seen in the neighborhood with our church pants. So we would be completely flat in the back of the station wagon, hiding. I think the outfit for everybody that works at Home Depot is church pants. Ha ha ha!

I think that's what you have to buy to work there. And also Best Buy. Yeah, Best Buy. Yeah. Those brown. I know. Yeah. That's that Dennis Miller line that I think was a little class warfare. You know, Christ sakes, if you're 40 years of age and you still wear a name tag at your employment area, you may be thinking of another career. Another vocation. Yeah.

For vocation, you know. I mean, any time you do that, David is just like, I've seen it all. I like it. I jump in. I piggyback.

I could listen to you do 8,000 impressions every single day of my life. I do Dennis now with more of a clenched jaw because he's incredibly successful. He's very relaxed. He's very good with money. Yeah. And he's kind of like this, very soft. Okay. You know, might go shoot nine holes with Mikey Douglas. That sounds very much like him. Got a couple shekels in my pocket. You know, not saying at all.

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I like that a lot. You're kind of in the army, not literally, folks, but when you go through the gauntlet of SNL with a cadre of people, you're forever kind of bonded just because it's the most intense experience you can have in show business, apparently. Right. You did 2001? You hosted...

Oh, Saturday Night Live? Yeah. You hosted Saturday Night Live. That's the theme of our show. No, did you host Prometheus? What do you think we're talking about? No, we hosted 2001. That was released in 1968. That's what I thought. I was like, wait, Space Odyssey? Oh, you're right. No, yeah, 2001, it was like the, who was, I

I think Shaggy was the musical guest and it was. Shaggy. Yeah. Shaggy. I can't believe Sean Hayes is on Saturday Night Live. Here he comes out for his monologue. Oh, hello. Oh, that's right. He did that. Gotta love kids. Did Scooby ever talk or did he just go? No, no.

That was it. It's not that much. It is. It's a word. It's a more, it's more than your dog can say. Oh, fuck. You got me there. Hey, guess what? Lauren asked me once, what, what is, what's the deal with Scooby-Doo? Why, why, why do the kids like it? And I say, it's the first time they're watching kind of something that scares them. They,

That's still very playful. It's kind of a horror. It's a horror show to a two year old. But as a kid, did you watch it as a kid? Yeah, I did. I think I, it was, I don't know when it first hit. I think maybe I watched, when did it first come on? I don't know. I don't know, but I couldn't get into it. What? We had this conversation the other day. What cartoons did you watch? I watched Tom and Jerry because there were no words. I didn't have to concentrate and that's it. Well,

I go back to Felix the Cat. You can look it up. But that was the first cartoon. I watched that. Popeye was around in the 60s. Johnny Quest was sort of considered cool. I'm not doing that. El Cabong. There were some very silly Hanna-Barbera. What? El Cabong. Wasn't it some donkey with a guitar would beat people up? Really? Yeah.

I don't know. Look it up. El Cabong. That's milk. Well, let me ask you TV shows as a kid. Yeah. Cause you're a little down the ladder for me. So it'd be like the 70s.

uh no yeah i got same ladder just further you'll climb up to my point at some point i bet you watch brady bunch yeah i watched brady bunch i watched i remember well i remember watching a lot of sitcoms like breeze company and cheers when it first started but my mom used to make me uh record uh the cosby show for her every thursday night because she would go bowling

And so, you know, I was raised by, my mom raised five kids by herself. Dad left when I was 15.

Super, super young. Sounds like your mom left, too. God, I wish my I wish my dad had left. I'm sorry for your loss, Sean. But that would have been terrific with five in our family, too. But daddy stayed. Couldn't get daddy out the door. There's worse things than daddy leaving. And that's daddy staying. Right. That's probably true. That's another podcast. Can I ask you a question? How many viewers did Cosby the Cosby show have at its peak?

I have no idea. What is this? A trivia show all of a sudden? Just answer. 50 million. I don't know. Yeah, it had to be a 10. I'm still laughing at David. It sounded like mom left too. Yeah, she went bowling while you guys fucking fought for tater tots. Mom just made me her surrogate husband. Yeah. She told me that when she was 50. I went to therapy. You were my surrogate husband. Wait, tell me. That's so interesting. My mom, when she passed away from Alzheimer's, was like,

three four years ago she i i kind of took on that role too because she would i think she would think of me as her husband or something it was really interesting and and and then funny because alzheimer's you know you go through all the crying and the crying and the crying for years and years and then to get out of it you can only make funny like it can only be funny in order to yeah anything can be funny even though it's horrifying that is a horrifying situation

Was your mom kind of happy? There are certain people with Alzheimer's get very angry and mean and nasty, and some are kind of silly and happy. Yeah, she was paranoid and angry. And then once you got on the other side of that, then she was pretty pleasant. My mom was funny because she would point to a little plant next to her table and she'd say, have you met my friend? Yeah.

Yeah, my mom, one time I walked into her bedroom and she left a crap in the toilet. And I go, I go, Mom, you gotta you gotta flush the toilet. And she goes, she pointed she pointed out she goes, that's not mine. I don't know whose that is. They come in here. They do that. And I leave it. Alzheimer's talking. Yes. And of course, and then I start laughing and then she starts laughing. It was and you don't know if she's clowning you or not.

Well, no, she wasn't. She was full on.

Hey guys, Newsflash came out yesterday. They had an AI study, 7 million, blah, blah, blah. They found out that men, it happens to be Viagra, that take Viagra on any kind of regular basis have a 70% less chance of getting Alzheimer's. Oh, like it's a preventable drug? Because it's all about blood vessels and getting rid of plaques in the brain. Yeah. Yeah, it's just, I don't know. David's looking up either his bank account. No, I'm listening intently. Yes. David's looking up his bank account.

David's interested. What about Viagra? That's interesting. I don't need it. Do you guys need it? Only if I go to court. What are you talking about? You don't need it. Only at dinner. Sean, that's so silly. What a funny question. I get them at the gas station when they go. They're right by there and they're like, hey, grab a boner for the road.

And I'm like, why are they right here? Someone's just like, oh, I might need that. I'll get that one. It's from Twizzlers. And it's like, it's not real. Who has an original Viagra erectile dysfunction joke? Anybody? David must have one. Sure.

I don't think so. There's a billion of them. No, but I have to take other stuff. I don't take that. I have to take a thyroid thing. It's the first thing I do every single morning. Sexy, go ahead. What happened to your thyroid? I don't know. Yeah, low. Low. So you're tired, then you get the pill. I was like, why am I exhausted? And then I went to the doctor. He's like, oh, it's just normal. You just need to get aged. Number two? And then I take...

a bunch of supplements and a little baby aspirin because I get AFib. I love talking about medical stuff. So if you guys want to talk about medical stuff. Dana loves it. All day long. Me too. We like science fiction and medical stuff. You might be my new best friend. Yeah, take a five. No, I'm I look 40. I'm actually 46.

Oh, self-declared? You're 46, but you read at a 48-year-old level. I identify as a lower number than what I am. The guy's got a noggin on him. Medicine. Yeah, I'm good with cardiovascular disease. Anything with bypasses or stents. Did you read about this new thing that you could put into your heart? Oh, man, I forgot what it's called. Love. It's brand new.

I guess you wouldn't know about that. You have to have a doctor do it. I actually had to take it out. Oh, you did? Now you want it back? Oh, no. Oh, no.

And they're all out of it. They're like backlog. Like I, I signed up anyway. It's this new thing you can put inside your heart that makes it like it's a blood. It stopped. It makes it so you don't ever have to have a blood thinners. Oh,

Yeah. I don't know about that. I was on them for, first I was on niacin for 10 years, 3,000 milligrams a day. And then my- Why? Because of the bad heart or why? Just to help with the, bring your HDL, the good cholesterol up. And after 10 years, my cardiologist, who's a friend of mine, I'll do the accent for him,

He's Hindu. He goes, you don't really have to take it anymore. It doesn't do any good. So it was like 3,000 a day for a decade. Then I was on Plavix, a blood thinner for 20 years. And then he said, you don't really need it that long. Get rid of it. Does niacin make you orange?

I've heard that. Is that a lie? My wife took one of my niacins, which is a B something thing. Out of the blue, she took a thousand. Explosive diarrhea, drenched in sweat. I mean, I acclimated slowly. Yeah. But that stuff is nasty. Yeah, I'd kill for some diarrhea just to lose some weight. Here and there. What about Ozempic? Oprah had a special on it. I know. I just saw that she had a special. I watched it for like two seconds. I was like, oh, I got it. Is Ozempic just diarrhea? Yeah.

You know, Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program. Oh, yeah. If you want to learn a new language, which no time like the present, it's always fun to learn when you get older. I know. And it's not learning a language when you're older, you know, over the age of 20 is difficult. You know, I mean, all the high school Spanish I took, grade school Spanish, you know, all I can say is hola.

and hasta luego so it goes out of your head so now you have rosetta stone david tell them about it well dana you know more than anyone trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users in 25 languages uh i mean my gosh they have spanish french italian german i don't think you can throw them a curveball i think they're gonna know what don't they have the language you want yeah

It immerses you in many ways. There's no English translations. You know what I'm saying? I know no English. You need a Rosetta Stone for English. No English translation, so you really learn to speak and listen and think in that language. That's the whole idea of Rosetta Stone is that it sticks to your head. It sticks to your brain. I learned German out of a book. It just doesn't stick as hard, so this is the way to do it. Just don't type.

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There's a true accent feature. It gives you feedback on your pronunciation. Yes. And of course, there's desktop app options. There's an audio companion and ability to download lessons offline. Yeah, so that's great. Lifetime access to all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off. A steal! And I do think that the off-label thing that... I'm ad-libbing now, going off script.

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You just visit rosettastone.com slash fly. That's 50% off, unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com slash fly today. Well, we have another disclaimer. We are pro, we are anti-body shaming.

We are? Yes. Yes. And pro-modern science that can reorientate the brain. What an edgy show. Yes.

I have questions. We could do a quiz, like which one do you want to tackle? Yeah, sure. Yeah, please. Okay. Well, I guess the first one, because I assume you're a fanatic. So I did listen to you guys. What is it? Bill Flarnette and Jister Fluk. Justin. I listened to you guys with McCartney.

Oh, that was a long time ago. You did them before us, but I listened to you talk to McCartan before David and I. Yeah. Yeah. So then I didn't know at the time, like you're like a really great classical pianist. Oh, I, yeah, I studied. Yeah. It was classical pianist. I started when I was five years old, there was a piano teacher across the street and I came home from preschool and my mom said, do you want to take piano lessons? I was like, I literally said, quote, I'm not doing anything else. So I walked across the street and started taking lessons and stuck with it. And then I,

yard work because we couldn't afford anything. We couldn't afford heat one winter. We couldn't afford food a lot of the time. So to pay for my piano lessons, I would do yard work at my piano teacher's house for her and her husband. And her husband was a conductor in the Chicagoland area. And so I would do

doing all these landscaping and yard i was it was horrible and people in high school thought i lived there was this big mansion like in where i lived i was like yeah i lived there like the movie lucas anybody and so i lucas yeah i remember that shot of my high school and so um and so i that side story is already more interesting but keep going lucas i was lucas i went out for football so i love lucas

Well, that's such a good movie. Oh, fuck. I love it. Winona Ryder's first film. Oh, that's right. Charlie Sheen was great in it. Chuck Sheen. Go ahead. So you played the piano and mowed some lawns. Yeah, that's it.

And you wrote a song about mowing lawns, right? That was like a local pop. Turns out I was better at mowing lawns. I went into gardening. I understand that you learned to tinkle the ivories. Oh, Dana's a good question about McCartney though, right? Well, I was just noticing. So you're interviewing Paul McCartney and I didn't know you were a classical pianist. So you did ask me, are you,

You were dissecting one of his songs and you got very into the language of signatures and the quarter fifth note, all that. What's the song? What's that song from the 1990s? Long and Winding Road? No, no. Oh, the 90s? Flowers in the Dirt? Say, say, say. No, that was 80s. Cut out this air. Let me just think of it. It was...

My Brave Face. No more lonely nights. That was 80s. No more lonely nights. That was 80s, but yeah. Yeah. Great. So anyway, it's a great song. Could you sing a little more of that? That's good. Okay. I'm always there. Yeah. Anyway, so he... Yeah, I was talking to him because I'm a music nerd. I'm sure he is. But I didn't know that he never studied music or anything. So I don't know if I made him aware of it.

He wrote like a 3-4 bar, then a 5-4 bar, and then a 4-4 bar, then a 3-4 bar again. So it wasn't in the four that we know. Like pick any most, you know, 99% of pop songs are in 4-4 time, which is common time, which is just four beats. 5-6-7-8, you know? But he would write all the Beatles stuff and his stuff. He would write different time signatures all the time. But if you're not used to music theory...

You probably don't, you know, pick it up like I did. Yeah. But that's interesting. He probably likes to hear that kind of stuff more than. And well, I went into this long explanation, as you know, to Paul McCartney. And then long explanation. He says, oh, I didn't know that I don't read music. I was like, OK. Yeah. He goes, I don't know what you're talking about. Yeah. Which I always find fascinating that people who don't study it are prolific in it.

I don't know if George Martin kind of, you know, by osmosis sort of influenced them. But if you look at Penny Lane and then it goes to all the different timing, even maybe I'm amazed I've talked to real musicians. Time signature changes the beat and also, you know, key changes and all this stuff that makes all the magic. So unreal. Can't beat can't beat talent.

Yeah, we had him on, Sean. Or can you? Our first three things we told him, I think, were compliments. And he goes, well, these aren't really questions. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we were like, uh, uh, uh.

We didn't know. We went into a rabbit hole. I was terrified. I was in Wyoming. David was in New York. And I was on vacation. Paul McCartney can talk to you tomorrow. Tomorrow. I was in a shithole with my family. We didn't have Wi-Fi. I was on the road. I had to go up to the Four Seasons. It was $9,000 for a room. Well worth it. What?

Well worth it. Oh my God. So then we had mentioned meeting Paul at Lorne Michaels house in 1986 when I got SNL. Yeah. And he scrunched up his face. I don't know what you're talking about. Oh my God. He doesn't remember. Pull up, pull up, pull up.

So then what happened was you might find it. Get back and come out between you guys interview. Oh, go ahead. Did you ever, did you ever listen to that? Like automated cockpit voice? It's like 300, 200, 100. You're like, Oh my God, we're going to crash. I have my, a friend who sends me air.

airline disasters on youtube so it's happy guys in a cockpit we'll proceed to run by four or five several you know and then we're going down go and then you hear them go um runway's kind of dark and then oh my god yeah worse who wants to live i hate to fly but i fly i will fly yeah but anyway get back came out so we did ask him about get back so that then we were good you know about that did you do documentary

Yeah, the eight-hour documentary had come out. I don't know if he commented on it, but at one point I said, did John ever thank you for your bass lines? And that kind of opened up a lot of stuff. Can I ask you a question being a podcaster? Do you guys, any of you three ever have podcast regret? Like you have someone that's kind of like a Paul McCartney or someone you admire and you really want to, and then later you go, oh, wow.

I wish I'd asked him that. I wish I'd said that. Yeah. That's the part that tortures me. Yeah. But yeah, I know me too. Um, and let me know when you get a guest on that, that doesn't torture you. Um,

You're pretty good so far because you know the game. You know, you know, I'm like, I got to pick subjects because there's no questions yet. There's really only been two questions. Here's the exact question. You're the only actor in human history, as far as I know.

Who played Larry of the Three Stooges and played Jerry Lewis. Yeah. So what was the difference comedically between a Three Stooge and a Jerry Lewis? Did you learn anything? He is the same way. No one notices. Hello, I'm Larry. I'm Jerry Lewis. No.

That's fantastic. Oh, that then, David, you're up next. You've answered my question. I quit watching around you two. You're disturbing my coffee break. That's pretty good. Now do Larry. Yeah, no. Yeah. And then I just played Oscar Levant on Broadway last year. So I only play Jewish guys, I guess.

The Broadway was a big deal. That was a big one, right? Yeah, that was pretty good. Yeah. Didn't you win? You've won Tony's, right? That's the one for that. Yeah. Damn. But yeah, no, Larry Fine was super fun. That was with Sofia Vergara. Wait, what did Sofia Vergara play? She played Moe, and then who played Curly?

She played when Curly, she played. Will Sasso, Sofia Vergara, tons of people, tons of great, great people. Okay. And it was really, really fun. I was in Atlanta. It was so effing hot. Have you ever shot in Atlanta? I did stand up in Atlanta and walked around town in August. Yeah, this is outside 14 hours a day for three months in 110 degrees wearing a wool shirt. That's better than Ozempic to lose weight.

Get a movie in August outside in Atlanta and put down your freaking pills. All right, go ahead. No, no, it was, but it was definitely worth it. It was so fun. I mean, it was, we laughed so hard, but it was, it was a lot of work. Yeah. But I had to shave my head twice a day every day because by lunchtime it would start growing back. I would have five o'clock shadow on my bald head. Oh, really? Yeah. Cause I glued the wig to my head. And so the glue while you're sweating and ugh.

That's when I first met you, I had glue on my head and I was sweating. That's right. Do you remember that? Yeah. So I'm at Lights Out, David's show. All right. And I had just done Al Pacino as Scarface. Yeah. And then you get the wig off and the bald cap and the thing. And you're just, it's always fascinating. What's he got going on up there? Yeah. Where does his hairline actually start? But you were incredibly pleasant. And I liked you immediately. I loved, same, same. It was so fun to meet you. David, I've known for years. Yeah.

David was doing Just Shoot Me when I was doing One of the Greats at the stage right next to us. And we were both walking together, and I left him to walk up to my stage, and I just opened the stage door, and David said, God, you smell, it smells so bad on the lot. And I opened my stage door, and I go, all I smell is a hit. Oh, my God. Yeah.

Fucking, the real story. I used to say to people. Go ahead. You go, Dan. I said to David, fee five, full thumb. I smell an Oscar nomination. That's what he did. Well, when I did. I didn't just shoot me. I'm in. It was going along fine. Then these assholes came along from Will and Grace. And we like, I think Megan.

was right next to my dressing room. We'd have to walk, you know, 100 yards to the stages. Well, yours is closer. But walk over. So we see each other all the time. And then we were doing pretty good. We were by no means like a monster hit. It was very tough. That was a great show and you did great. I have to say, when we're on the same lot as Seinfeld, you know, there was a real heyday right then. There was a lot of shows, Frasier and ER and Will and Grace. Yeah, Frasier. I think what happened, the humiliating, there was two humiliating things.

One, we were, I think the eight o'clock and then friends is maybe the night or whatever show. And then the hammock ones, the degrading name for the eight 30, nine 30 shows were the ones that needed some help. So you go, well, Will and Grace will follow us because they're new. They don't know anything yet. I think that's what happened. You can tell me if I'm wrong. And then something follows like Frazier at nine 30 or whatever. And then after about a year, they went and switched us.

Cause Will and Grace came out of the gate pretty hard. So they switched us. So we flip flop where we were eight 30, I think. So Will and Grace is often running. And then the other part that was infuriating was when I had to walk by all four of your Porsches.

On the way to the set because you fuckers got Porsches. We were gifted Porsches. We were sharing a moped at that point. Wait a minute. How many episodes before you got the car? So the same thing happened to us as it happened to Friends, which was Friends wasn't a hit. I mean, people watched it, but after the first season of Friends, over the summer when they used to play reruns,

friends became huge. And then we started out the same way where nobody really kind of, they were just checking us out. And then over the summer, it just exploded. And so the network that had a network, Scott Sasa, I was called him. I got him mixed up with Sammy Sosa. And Scott Sasa, he brought us to lunch. And then we were, when we were done eating lunch, we walked out and there was four Porsches there. He's like,

Congratulations on the pump. I was like, oh my God. And immediately I thought of selling it because I needed the money. So I waited like, you know, cause why do I want to pay insurance on it? I don't have money to pay my rent. So I was, I sold it like two months later. But you got a decent chunk. You get decent at the B. I know you guys probably renegotiated, but at the beginning you did pretty good, right? Yeah. Not really.

I mean, sure. Not in the beginning. No. Probably by... When did it really like, okay, this is a hit? Was it year three or what? Season two. Yeah, for sure. So the summer jacked it up and then you came back hard. And then maybe they flipped us after that. But just shoot me is doing fine. It was really like a great, fun time. All of that was fun. I remember I was wondering if we ever were up for the same award because I only got... I didn't get that many...

I didn't win anything, but I list trivia questions. Yeah. Oh, mine's zero, but I'll just, that's a spoiler, but, but I thought maybe golden glove, because we were both supporting actors on comedies and I was looking at all your,

You got awards and stuff. Well, I would have loved to have lost to you. I think you're brilliant. It says Jack McFarlane. Jack had a last name. I didn't even know that. Yeah. Okay. Yeah. That should be a trivia question. Yeah. Well, Finch didn't Finch.

I don't know if he did. Aren't you impressed that I know it was Dennis Finch? Finch was my last name. Oh, Dennis Finch. Yeah. But they called me Finch. And I mean, no one would know Dennis because, oh, George Segal called me Dennis in the show. They always say that you were the Fonz of Just Shoot Me. Yeah. And Sean, were you the Fonz of Will and Grace? I was the Fonz. Hey. You were the funny, overtly funny...

Hey, hey, hey. Hey, hey. Hey. Hey, hey. Remember what's happening? Fuck yeah. That was the only show I ever wrote into a TV guide because I thought D was so funny. Remember D? Rodgers.

Oh, is she younger? And she said a little smart-alecky comment. It's so funny. I thought she was hysterical. So I wrote her a TV guide as a kid, and I was like, where's Dee? By the way, she's a veterinarian now in the Valley. Oh. Perfect. Cat's out of the bag. Here's me on...

You know, Dana, I think we have a connection. We've been friends for a long time. And for this episode of Fly on the Wall, we've partnered with eHarmony, which isn't us. eHarmony is a dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. We are not dating. I want to clarify that. But the connection is what you want in a dating partner. Yeah.

just someone like, if you found someone that listened to this podcast, that's somewhat of a connection. And then you sort of build on that. You want someone with some common ground. Yeah. It's not, it, look, if you want to connect romantically over, you know, super fly or fly on the wall, uh,

It just makes us happy. You don't want to be watching The Godfather and the person next to you goes, this movie sucks. You want to- So dumb. Yeah. You want to connect on all issues and harmonize in life. Similar sensibility, similar sense of humor, and similar sense of sense. I don't like when they watch The Godfather and they're like, everyone in this movie is so old. I'm like, they're 40.

Watch 2001 Space Odyssey. Too much of this movie is in outer space. I don't like it. When do they land? When do they land? Why is that stupid red light acting so silly? Who's friends with a robot? We know dating isn't easy. That's why we partnered with eHarmony because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find someone who gets you, someone you can be comfortable with.

Yeah. I mean, the whole idea is you're going to take a compatibility quiz, helps your personality come out in your profile, which makes all the profiles on eHarmony way more interesting and fun to read. So I think this is the goal of dating sites, and I think eHarmony does it great. It's just finding somebody you're compatible with.

So get started today with a compatibility quiz so you can find some and you can be yourself with.

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Yeah, because it's such a nice ring. It's an unmarked thing, but then it says Blue Nile somewhere. Yeah. She goes, oh, you couldn't have. You wouldn't have spent that much. Oh, this has got to be a trick. This is too nice. Yeah, no. Right now, get 30% off. Select Lab Grown Diamonds on BlueNile.com. Plus, use code FLY, very important, to get $50 off your engagement ring purchase of $500 or more. What is it?

That's $50 off with CodeFly at BlueNile.com. BlueNile.com. I've got a good way to get Dana to do an impression. Ready? Okay, good. Line me up. Get ready. I did.

Sean's other show later, Hot in Cleveland. Yes, you did. Brilliant. And with Wendy Malek, who's so good. It's not even worth talking about. She's so good. Everyone knows it. And I was playing. Was that a Hazy Mills production or no? Yeah, it was. Yeah. And Hot in Cleveland was great. Yep. And we, and I played a haircutter. And who was my nemesis? Was it Regis Philbin? I don't remember. Asshole. Yes, it was. I knew it. Okay.

I was waiting for Dana to go, anyway, you ready for this? Anyway, you ready for this? Who doesn't love Sean Hayes? Here he is, you know. He's been active all these years. He's got so many shows. He's got timing like a watch. You can't believe it. He makes an entrance like nobody's business. Now he's got a podcast empire. It's called Smart Who or Smart Less, whatever it is. But the king and...

Whatever a Broadway or wherever else it goes. It's all vague. I could listen to that. All day. I've turned William Shatner Chinese because I think I signed him off as Regis.

who doesn't love captain kirk he's done all these things he's getting to the moon he goes everywhere he's always in outer space if he's not out of space he's at chili's having a bowl of whatever just on and on and on the emmy's in the uh oh i love re i love i get to visit people or i've already gone to the stars when i do read this i you know and you know you know mike sure then right

Of SNL? Yeah. Well, and he created Parks and Rec. Mm-hmm. Yeah. Mike Schur, he's great. He's married to Regis' daughter. Oh, could you believe that? Mike Schur, the old Hilly doll you could ever have. There he is. I hope he's a good man. You know what? The way I learned Trump was by doing... It was a bit of Regis and then...

Adding in Marlon Brando kind of made me go to Trump. Now, everybody does Trump. But it's like, and then you get, you know. Inside baseball. No, no, it's good. I love that you know how to, I'm fat like you, Frank Caliendo.

Right? It's amazing impression. - Well, his Morgan Friedman is one of those that's gone to this other almost scary level. Like it's not, is this a magic trick? - But it blows my mind the science behind your brain, Dana, and the ability to do that. Like how, the ability to listen and then know where to place it in your throat to mimic something like that. - It's terrible when you've, when I-- - It's unbelievable.

It is terrible when you just say, oh, I want to try to learn this person or someone's asking you to learn this person and you can't do it at all. It's very painful. All I do is listen a lot, you know, and just pray. Because a lot of it's like singing, too. If you sing, you know where to place a note and stuff. I suppose it's similar, right? Like.

Uh, yeah. And for me, I just get bored or I'm not, I don't feel like I'm at the level of Frank Caliendo as a pure impressionist. So then I just try to abstract it and make a character out of it, but it's enough of the true source that it makes sense. Anyway, no, it's so great anyway. Whatever. I can only do my friends. When you do your friends, you know, it's funny, but you can't use that anywhere except with your stupid friend group. And then if your friend became famous, it would be your impression. God, but it'll never happen. Uh,

We have a question for you. Already? Yeah. Already. 48 minutes in. Look at these notes. Ready? Because you have three people. On SmartList, you have three people interviewing. That's not the question. Okay. But what's the least amount you've talked and who is the guest? Oh, gosh. The least amount. Well, it's usually a sports figure.

Oh, you hang back. Yeah. But I'm more because more interested in their life and their, you know, everyday life rather than the sport itself. But even though I like sports, I love football and Will's getting me into soccer. So I find that you get into soccer with me. Yes. And then but no, it was Clayton Crenshaw. What's his name? The baseball player. Dodgers. Cameron. No, no.

Clayton Kershaw. He's like, who's that guy, Kirk Cameron? I think it was... Clayton Kershaw. He's a super, super great guy. So he was on, and I didn't... And he was an early guest. So I was like... I didn't know what to ask because it was baseball, and I played baseball as a kid, blah, blah, blah. I know the ins and outs. But I didn't really have anything off the top of my head I could ask him. So I Googled while we were talking, and I said...

So I read somewhere that you were left-handed. Tell us about that. What an idiot. That was my one question. Good job. You're like, I heard you bought a Jeep once. Walk us through that.

Why not lease? If you had to stand somewhere, would you rather stand on the mound or a home plate while you were having lunch? That's exactly. I turned into Chris Farley. Oh, you did? You were like, remember when you were left-handed? Yeah. Stupid. Dumb. By the way, speaking of Paul McCartney, that was one of the great Chris Farley jokes.

questions of all time. Was it Chris Farley's show on Saturday Night Live? Yeah, Chris Farley's show. Hey, remember when you were in The Beatles? Yeah, that was cool. You know, the best laugh was, remember when you said, the love you take is equal to the love you make? And Paul goes, yeah. And he goes, bleh.

Is that true? It's the biggest lab. And Paul goes, well, I mean, I like the things that he goes. Yeah. That was awesome. That was awesome. Wait, tell me now. Now let me tell, tell me your, since you asked me, what's yours, what's the one you talk the least David besides this one? Well, the guest has never talked the most.

So we, Dane and I talk the whole time. Yeah, that's kind of like us. But with three people, how do you do that? It's hard enough with two. With three hosts? Yeah. There's a rhythm. We've been friends for over 20 years. 25? Who drives it? Mm-hmm.

It's all, I don't know. It's always different. It depends whose guest it is, you know? So like, like you feel the responsibility of driving it if it's your guest, which is a fun response because you get, you did the research and you look at all, you know, all this stuff. And so, um, I, I enjoy, I enjoy it. I also enjoy getting the shit beat out of me. Like I love it. It's so, is that one of the hooks that people like is that you guys all give each other shit? I guess, I guess so. I mean, why do they like it? That's what I'm asking. Yeah.

well by the way let's go to the phones we wonder the same thing it's because they know you're really good friends i guess and that's what that's what it says but sometimes jason bateman will come up with such interesting questions i almost i almost don't really need i don't need anything else to be said because his questions are really sophisticated yeah yeah and then um you're like

More, you come from the just the... I'm a fan. You're a fan and you're spontaneous. You're like the wallpaper. You're a good laugher.

you're you're so i am we don't like the wallpaper uh but we don't know what they're paying you sean but we'd like to try to see if we could sort of tease you over yeah to fly on the wall yeah we'll match it yeah i i enjoy it turns out this is the dumbest thing i've ever said in my life i enjoy comedy

I mean, I really did. But it is true. I mean... I like funny, fast people, you know? Like, people who are fast. Will is fun. I saw Jason the other night, and I saw you across the room. But you were literally, like, 10 feet away, and there's no way to get to you. Well, no, no, no.

Wasn't it? I saw Jason. He's skinnier and he's got a beard now. He looks cool as shit. He's the best because he's doing a show that he's about to film. Yeah. Yeah, he looked cool. I think you're over there with maybe Justin Theroux. Is that possible? Oh, yeah. At the Vanity Fair party? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, I didn't see you there. Yeah, you saw me and looked through me, but that's fine. So what happened was... That's what wallpaper does. No. No.

You were, I'm like, who is that? Is that new wallpaper? And then I go, and I walked through you and you were a ghost, which was, were you with our net? Yeah. We all went together. Me, Jason and Will went together. Oh, gross. You guys all travel together. Can you hang out together? I mean, it'll blow your mind. The press tour is an ending. Three of a kind. Let me ask you a question about, cause it's pretty, uh,

Jason does Ozarks. Well, it's one singular Ozark and he's done with it.

Ozarks. And he did the Ozarks, which is going to be the sequel. Sorry, we talk. It doesn't matter. Anyway, there was a cat. It was in a bag. Now it's out of the bag. Newsflash. But he may, I mean, it's kind of interesting. Like, so you guys all have production companies, which just one observation. Yeah. So you all started to take show business by the reins. Well, you can start one too. Yeah.

People advise us not to. They just don't think. They said we feel like the fun ends here. Yeah. And the creativity ends. It's kind of like the tram ride at Universal. Yeah, they go, everybody off. Dana and Spade, off. If you're driving right now, take a look around. See all those cars? You can find them on AutoTrader because they have the largest selection of new cars, used cars, electric cars, even flying cars.

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7-15-24 and 9-11-24. And Dell will donate $1.75 for each eligible product within your purchase to ComputerAid, capped at $1.2 million total. For details and restrictions, go to dell.com slash deals. We always say it's like it's as surprising to us as it is to you that like people even listen because we're just...

loser doing like exactly what we're doing right now with you guys. It's like, we just can't believe people find it interesting enough to, to hang in there. And, and we're so grateful for that too. I mean, and it is kind of fun. It is fun. Oh my God. And, and as to your questions, Dan, about like schedules and stuff and lining the three of us up, we'd been hanging out already for decades. So it's like, it's easy. And, and we used it as an excuse to see each other, to start the podcast. Like, why don't we just start one just because of,

just because, because it's an excuse to see each other while we're in lockdown. And we did like two episodes and we did six, then we did 10, then we did 20 and then here we are, you know? But, and it was fun. It's continues to be the time of our lives. I mean, you're smart because you know how to do that. I wouldn't even, I mean, I did a lot of zooms with friends, like the exact same thing, but it never crossed anyone's mind. Like,

how would we beam this out? Or, I mean, that's just somebody has to know something. Yeah. I mean, how did you start this one? I mean, you, right. Same like, Hey, let's do it. We knew how we knew what, that they were out there. Like you were doing it, which was smart.

there weren't that many. And so you were just like, Hey, how does that work? Someone figures it out and there's kind of like the internet, right? It's like, Hey, how does this work? This is kind of fun. You know, that's all. Yeah. Yeah. It worked. And there's a lot that don't work. So it's great that you got one that works. Well, thank you. The only thing I can think is that it's sort of our

art form with a small a where the consumer of the art form with a small a is doing something else while they're consuming what we're doing. Predominantly, a lot of people are driving or gardening or at the gym. But don't they, but don't people watch shows like that now and not on their tablet? Everybody's doing something multitasking. Two things. Yeah. Isn't that, that's, that's why I saw Dune in a movie theater, a stadium theater, uh,

And it was incredible. And it's just all this big sound. And I had to turn my phone off. It's only there. And in church phone goes off. And that was revolutionary because you could be watching a really cool movie and then someone bring, bring. And it's like, well, I found if I watch a movie at home, I will look at my phone and it's horrible. Yeah. Same. Same. Cause you're not at the movie theater where it's not like this is your one thing. Yeah. So at home you're kind of like, well, I can always, let me get some to eat. What did you think of Dune? And what'd you think of Dune 2?

How you doing? Well, Dune. How you doing? I'll do it as Garth. With Dune, because that's a good word for Garth. I saw Dune. They would make it sexual or something. The first Dune was a little convoluted for me. I went to Dune 2. It was in the genre of science fiction fantasy. It's one of the best movies ever made. I 100% agree. By the way, same director as Arrival.

Oh, really? So it just works on so many levels and it's fantastical. The effects, the sound, I don't know. I've already seen it twice. It's already good. Then Josh Brolin comes in like halfway through and he's great. He's such a stud. He is the best. Zendaya's great. The kid was great. I mean, for such a big movie. The kid. Hey, Timothee Chalamet, what's up? He is. He's kind of, he's younger than me. Hey, man.

Listen, man. The director's like, hey, can you bring the kid around? I mean, knock on his trailer. Did they put an effect on Timothy's voice when he would get mad? Shastra! Wubba! Go! He's speaking whatever language. Wubba! Shabba! Wah! How about when they would, like, him and his mom would, yeah, have that kind of power where they can Jedi master somebody's mind, you know? And they'd be like, um...

open the door and you'd be like what and she's like don't touch his arm rip it off kill him and you're like wait what's happening it was crazy yeah i know it's just well done david that'd be a great movie for you to watch in a theater go to the show i saw it oh you can chime in

I like, they're so scared of the sand snakes. Then at the end, it's like HR puff and stuff. And they're like, Hey, we're all flying around on sand snakes. Well, I love their, their, their two miles long and you've got two, two ice picks and then you stand on this thing that's two miles long and command it.

That's a really low IQ centerpiece. I didn't know there were golden retrievers. The brain capacity of this thing, it's as big as an aircraft character. But it's pretty cool. But it's unbelievable. You want to ride one? Yes. I'm getting one. Universal Studios has already got them made. They just haven't got all the electronics figured out, but you'll get on it and

I'm kidding. Were you around for the first Dune, Sean? We're going to let you go. But were you around for the first Dune, which was Sting was in it? I never saw it. Scotty saw it. He likes it for nostalgic reasons, but he said these are farce. Dana, you must have seen it. I saw it. Sting wore basically a diaper in Dune in 1982. I remember that image, though. Yeah. Just a white diaper. Yes, you do. Yeah, I do. Okay, Jeff. Go.

Incredibly tan. That's the only one so far. Gay jokes. Are you offended by gay jokes? We'll take it all this time. I encourage them. I had one. I had two that I stopped doing. Should I turn them behind? I stopped doing them because I just thought. No, I think if you make them, like to me, we're all friends. Well, and Jason are two of my closest friends. It means you're just close. I can make fun of your hair, your body.

Car, whatever. Off limits. Well, it also, I little bit, and we, yeah, when someone is comfortable with certain types of jokes, whether they be racial or whatever, and usually it means they're,

They're the opposite of someone who's racist. They're just like, because it's so ridiculous. Or gay jokes are so ridiculous, this stereotype, that if they're easy with it because it's ridiculous, we'll hope this is coming off right or the screen could go to... No, because you're talking to a gay person. I just think all it depends on is the messenger, who's telling the joke and how is it intended. That's all. Right.

Also, who's not turned on by staying in a diaper? I am. I mean, that's that's a funny thing is that's what I think you'd like. I go, we'd like that. Right. But but I don't know if it's Hollywood folklore, but he made a doodoo in the diaper and they said, we got to change it. And he goes, doodoo. That's not my diaper. I'm like, I do too. I'm going full circle back. I got it. I got my diaper. Somebody somebody comes in here.

Somebody comes in here, poops in my diaper, and then leave. I don't know who it is, but that's what they've been doing for years. Yes. I'll be watching you. Every breath you take. Hey, you could do a song with that. Thank you. I'll try. Lonely nights. Never be another.

Wow. Get that guy on Broadway. Anyway, he could sing, he could dance, he could do comedy. What can he do? He could do a sub assault. He could play it. How about this? A question for you. You've done it all. Is there a movie fantasy for you? A role? Would you like to put prosthetics on and be like Gary Oldman? Yes. Oh yeah. I mean, it's kind of like sketch comedy. It's kind of like character actors. Like,

Philip Seymour Hoffman, Meryl Streep, those kind of people who can kind of transform into people. I love that stuff. I love trying. I may fail miserably, but I like trying at least.

I think it's fun, right? Well, you're doing good. Thanks, you guys. I love you both very, very much. Thank you, Sean. Sean Hayes has been our guest. And let me tell you, nobody's funnier than this guy. He's the top of the box, spotless everywhere you find your podcast, but they don't need my help. They're up to the shots. Nobody beats Joe Rogan, but they give him a run for his money. Call your daddy.

I wish I could. Okay. Thank you, Sean. Thanks. Love you. That was great. Love you. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all this stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts.

Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss Berman of Odyssey, Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.