Punkie Johnson
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's because they're naked. Well, it's like the 1800 time you say on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, Hey, I'll go there. I'll get an Airbnb. So, um, you won't regret it. I'm a nibbler Dana. And I think you are too, but you always know me that I just have to keep the energy going. Um,

And I think because I learned from my dad, pistachios are a good source of just, you know, nibble, wake you up. They're always delicious. I actually named a character in a movie I did called Master of Disguise. The lead character's name is pistachio. That's how much I love pistachios. Yeah. Well, wonderful pistachios have literally come out of their shells. It's the same taste. It's delicious, but...

It's a lot less work. As you know, cracking them open can be a little bit of a job. Less cracking, more snacking is what I say. That's what I say. That's what you say. And I'm going to use that when my wife goes to the store. Wonderful pistachios. No shells. Flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors, including chili roasted. Honey roasted. Mm-hmm.

Sea salt and vinegar, smoky barbecue. Sea salt and pepper is one I like the most. And I'm going to try this jalapeno lime. They don't have a red, red necky flavor just yet. Yeah, look at him there. Red, red necky loves pistachios. I like to crack things open and put them in my mouth.

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who was a cast member for four years on Saturday Night Live and just left the show. And so she's going to tell us all about her experience on Saturday Night Live and other things. The good and the bad and the in-between. I don't think we've had someone off the show that we talk to him so quickly. We've talked to people

while after or years after most people have been on it in the past but we're just hosted we had nate bergazzi just hosted uh the week before yeah so you know it's still fresh in her brain and uh she's pretty cool about it i mean you know it's obviously a roller coaster there we know but she's got a lot of energy she's got a lot she's pretty hilarious to talk to about it she's she says so many funny things without really trying just in the way she describes

the environment, how she interacts with Lorne Michaels is really funny. And her whole presence is just extremely entertaining. So I would listen to this one if I were you. And it is interesting. She's hot off the show and we get like a first blink

feeling from a cast member what it's like it's funny she's like dana can you imagine she's like i see lauren in the hall i go hey wait up i gotta tell you something about read through and i'm like what are you doing what how could you ever to confront lauren about anything she goes no i do it in a funny way he knows i'm not i'm like straight up i just yeah she had kind of an interesting relationship with lauren it's really funny the way she describes it it wasn't what i had kind of afraid of him we didn't

- I didn't really know him. He wasn't Lorne Michaels then, or at least he was Lorne Michaels, but now it's like, well, he is her godfather. I think that's what she refers to him as. - He was a locked door. That's what it was to me. Like you walk by his office, "Is Lorne in there?" "Yeah, why?" "Nothing." "Keep walking." - What do you want? Don't break stride. Don't pick stride. - Don't dart your eyes over. There's no meeting. - No, no, don't meander. Get the fuck out and get down to your office. - You're doing circles. What are you doing? Get out of here.

Get out of here. I'm looking at the host board. Who's the host next week? Not you. No, get out. Get out of here. Hey, Marcy. Yeah, hey, Marcy. Marcy. I'm just kidding, Marcy. All right, well, here's Punky. I think you're going to have a nice time listening. Enjoy. Enjoy.

Punky, we've already started, but Punky, I'll just tell you this, but this could be a bit that I'll sell today and after. But this is the same sinking feeling I get with Zoom is when everyone's waiting and I can't get on is when I leave a parking garage and I put the fucking ticket in and then arm doesn't go up and everyone behind me, I'm like,

What's going on? And then you, and it pushes it back out. And I go, I did it. And everyone's like, what the fuck are you doing? I did my job. I did my part. I did what I was supposed to do. I pressed the button. Yeah. And that, and then. But the thing still didn't go up. Exactly. And I'm trapped. Everyone's mad. And there's a mob behind me. I know. You try to tell them I'm not going anywhere. I literally can't move. I go like this. Like I can't try to make signals. Right.

You got to press the call button and wait for somebody who wait for this spirit to come and help you because nobody, nobody's actually really behind that damn button. By the way, low urgency when you press that button, they're like, hello, I'm doing this from home. And you're like, well, that doesn't help me. I need you to walk out here. Let me ask you two a question.

When you're parking your car in a parking garage. Yes. This is not like the way I like to let the podcast just breathe on itself. Yeah, it's sort of just. Do you go to the roof? Do you say, fuck it? There's a couple of tight ones. There's people everywhere. I just go get me straight to the fucking top of the garage. Wow. But you guys are down there in one and two trying to squeeze in people honking.

I made that up. But are you a topper or are you trying to fit in like... You know what? It depends on how new or how old my car is. Oh, interesting. Didn't Lauren buy you a car? Lauren buys everyone a car.

No, no. Now, thank you for telling me. Now I'm going to text that motherfucker and be like, hey, I heard some shit about you. Where's my car? Lauren buys us a car at every beginning of each week. It's a Dodge Dart 1968. It's vintage. Chevy had it before you.

No, we didn't get a car, Punky. The type of car you have is important. I think he replaced it with cell phones. We got news. I got a brand new cell phone every year. Brand new iPad. What? And I got a brand new computer, I think, last year. Oh, I got a brand new desk last year. Painted my office last year. Wow. That's bullshit. Okay, we got a yellow pad, a legal pad. We got a number three pencil. The number twos are more expensive.

We had a number three fucking pencil 1980. Where is there? 70, 50 years ago. That's a great, that's a great Lauren impression. He's so, he's so chill. Um, um, I'm either chill or I'm not chill.

Um, right. But regardless, like he stays in that, in that lane. So, you know, you don't know what level of chill or not chill he's on. Cause he don't stay talking. Here's, here's him mad. He goes, what, David, why do you think that, uh, didn't work at all? I go, Oh, the bed I just did. Yeah.

where do you think you went wrong? I'm like, uh, I don't like this question. Cause I know you're mad, but he won't, he doesn't act mad. Doesn't act anything. Oh, he's very, very chilled. Did he ever say to you, are you still with the show? Cause I thought that I just wondered, you know, you're walking down the hallway, still with the show. He used to say, I would just imagine him getting into the elevator by himself and just cracking up, just laughing, just making someone feel bad. And then I don't know how long would laugh really hard though.

He's funny. I used to mess with him a lot. I used to mess with him a lot because he loves that. Like I was one, I was one of the people who just wasn't afraid to interact with him. Cause everybody act like, Oh, when he comes, everybody gets crazy. Like he's the principal or something. And, um, that's what,

I did a bit and it bombed. I mean, I bombed so hard. It was so embarrassing. And he comes, I'm sitting in a chair and I'm just looking like, damn it, I bombed. And he's walking up the hallway and he's just looking at me with that Lauren look. And I said, you know, I forgot, I said something, but I know it was trash. I know it's cut. I was like, don't come walking down the hallway with that shit. And he busts out laughing. Yeah.

I think he would appreciate he would. He doesn't like you to kiss his ass. I think he definitely likes a little bit of pushback, you know, and I I'm terrified. I'm a people pleaser and I'm passive aggressive. But once in a while I would ding Lauren and I was shocked myself, but he didn't seem to be bothered.

You know, it's like I think I told him something one day and everything is such a blur to me. So not everything is like, quote, quote, quote. But one one one day we were just sitting there and we were just having a good time. And I looked at Lauren and I was like, what are you doing?

He's like, I think I drove him crazy to the point where he just started ignoring me. He was like, I don't have time for this shit today. I don't have time for your games. I don't have time for your stupid little quotes today. He's just like, get out of my face. Because I would mess with him. I would call him Mr. Michaels.

He's like, don't call me that. My name is a horn. Then I started writing him letters and stuff. And I'd be like, hey, Godfather, you know, I love you. Were they delivered? I mean, how were they delivered? Yeah, I would give it to him. I would give him stuff like through his assistants and stuff like for his birthdays and Christmases and Valentine's Day and stuff like that. And I would get him really unique gifts. Like, I know he owned goats, so I got him a goat daddy shirt.

He's a goat dad. Oh, yeah. He's got goats up in New Hampshire or wherever. I keep him at 88. Right. Mm-hmm. You know what that means, Danny? One day I asked him for a present for his birthday. I said, hey, can you buy me a goat for your birthday? Yeah.

Oh boy. I'll come visit it from time to time. He just, he just, he just shake his head. He's just like, funky is on another level. I don't know what's wrong with this girl. You ever catch new people calling him Lauren. They think his name's like a woman's name, like Lauren. So if you go, Hey Lauren, I'm always like, I, I don't correct him though. I want, yeah, Lauren it's Lauren.

Does it, did you say it feels fuzzy now? I mean, you just got off the show and you did four years and you were hilarious on the show because I've been watching a lot of your clips. You killed hard on that show. I'm pretty sure, you know, like, you know how it is, David. Every week is a new week. Like you got to act like the week previous didn't happen at all. So the previous week has to become a blur if you want to try to be any type of way successful the next week. So only good is your last show.

Yeah. Yeah. But also like, I'm happy you said that. Thank you. But I, SNL was just, you know, I've never grew up in sketch. I've never like went to a sketch school and I didn't, I didn't really feel like I fit. Like I didn't feel like that was my zone. You know what I'm saying? I just think sometimes that show is for people. That show is for a different type of person. Like I'm crazy. I'm more like out the box and just, you know, I'm, I'm all over the place, but that is like a structure thing.

that's a structure. Like when I got, when I got to that job, I was just chilling, you know, minding my business. And, you know, I came from standup. So I was just thought everybody else came from standup. I started having conversations with people and everybody was like, oh yeah, we went to school for this. I'm like, y'all went to school for this? To be here?

Oh yeah. You went to school for this. We were both standups too, Punky. We were just standups as well. But the Groundlings people like Phil Hartman and stuff, they came in with sketches that were done. I mean, they were just ready to go right on SNL. So that was kind of cool for them. Yeah. That's a hard job, man. I got...

I could write you a 32, 33 page pilot faster than I can write you a 10 page sketch. You can write a 32 page sketch. I did. My first sketch was like 17 pages. And they go, Lauren's like, what the fuck is this? I'm like, no one talks to me. I don't know what I'm doing. I'm sure you had like a Heidi Gardner. Like there's people I think that have.

training in sketch. It's very good. She's already polished. So they come in with no surprises, really. I think someone was saying it was Heidi. And then we had our own Phil Hartman and Jan hooks, the people that came. So you could tell someone who was better than the comics right off the top, you know, and then you had to learn, write a sketch, learn,

how to kind of act. It's not even like regular acting, sketch acting. It's a different muscle. Could I just point out one thing that it was, it's just a great sketch. The Couples Counselor with Jake Glingenhall,

You know, and you got to play two, you know, the schizophrenic, two different flavors and you're going back and forth and you're just hitting it so crisply. I don't care how funny the lines are. You still have to just hit them. So I don't know if that was who you, how that came about, but there's an example of a standup being used properly in a sketch and being a sketch player. Yeah, it was a,

Well, that's a job for you. That's I mean, you know, you have you have fun and you have your ups and downs. I whenever I was given opportunity, I did the best that I could over there. You know what I'm saying? Right. So it's a lot of miles to feed. It's a lot of miles to feed over there. It's a lot. It was like what I think, like 22 of us. And then you add the PDD guys because they when you was like 11 or 12 of you guys. Right.

When I was there, it was more than Dana. And then yours is probably 11 or 12. I was there with six, you know, six, six cast members. And then we had Kevin Nealon and Dennis Miller as feature or Dennis did update primarily. So that was Kevin. But yeah, it was just,

Victoria Jackson, Jan Hooks, Nora Dunn. Those were the three major. And then it works. Everyone has a lot to do. Well, you get on the show a lot and then the, you get used to doing it. But, uh, when you came in, like you, can you walk in there? Who, who came in with you?

That was their first year. Who was in my class? Yeah. Four years ago. So Andrew Desmukes, who was a writer and he got bumped to cast. And then Lauren Holtz. She she came in with me. I forgot. I think I think she's from Carolina or something or whatever. But, yeah, she came in with me as well. And was Marcelo.

Marcelo came in, I think, two years after. Oh, okay. Yeah, his class was Marcelo, Devin, Michael, Molly. Okay. And then the year before that, I think it was James and Sarah that came in. And Molly just stepped away also. Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes. Okay. Yes.

Yeah, that's a lot of people. It's a thing. It's a big decision. You know what I'm saying? And I feel like with me and SNL, I feel like it was more on a mutual thing. I can tell you right now, my February last season, I was like, nope, I'm done. Just about. I was like, I'm not going back to it. What was fueling that? I mean, what were you feeling when you felt like? You know what? It was like the season before that, I questioned it. I talked to my team. I was like, look, you know,

I don't really know if I belong at this job, so maybe I should step away. And it was just like, you know, but I told him super, super late, like right after I found out I got to go back. And it was like, well, we don't want punky. You need a plan. You can't quit your job. So I was like, all right, all right, let's go back. OK, let's go back to work. And I had a tremendous first half of the season.

You know, I had a writer and I think I got like three or four sketches on first half. And usually I only get maybe two or three on the entire season. So I'm like, oh man, I'm killing it. Like this is my season. But then my writer left.

Oh, my God. When Ben Silva left, I went down. I spiraled because he's gone. And, you know, everybody's you know, everybody has their group. You know, you can't you can invade them if you want. But they already everybody's already had their familiarity. Everybody invades this. And I couldn't break those walls down. And I had special moments after that. But after that, I'm like, if I don't have Ben, then I'm pretty much like what happened to him. Why did he take off?

He got married and his wife moved to Los Angeles. And, you know, for the most part, he just wanted to be with his wife. I was like, Ben, no. He did? You, wait a minute. You want to be with your wife? He wanted to be. I was so bad. That's not a good showbiz answer. But how did you, how did you write with him? Did he sit with you and then you're riffing and then he'd go piece it together and you'd punch it up kind of thing? Or, or did he hand it to you? Cause he knew your voice.

So I am the type of person, I'm goofy. Like I know how to just play around with stuff. I'm really, really not to say I'm a writer because I can write, but my brain works very differently from everybody else's. And I can feel that all the time. I feel like my IQ is all over the place. And I feel like sometimes people don't get me when I am delivering information. So Ben, he just knew how to speak punky.

So if I was telling him something, he knew how to put it in SNL format for me. And if I try to put it in SNL format. That's the hard part. That's the hard part. Yes. He knew how to take all of the scribble scratch that I was delivering out my mouth and turn it into some real understandable words. This year, Dell Technologies' Back to School event is delivering impressive tech with an inspiring purpose.

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And then after the meeting, and you're not even thinking of writing it because you don't really know how to write it and you're just like treading water. And some good writer walks up and said, hey, I like that idea. Do you want to write it? And you're like, thank you, Jesus. Someone that knows how to write a sketch is going to help me. They go, I see how that could be funny. And then that's a gift.

And if that guy leaves, like you're saying, because I see there's factions. I'm guessing it's like high school. These guys write with these people. These cast members mostly write. Sometimes someone will write a full cast that you get in and you have something to do, but it's not like...

The old days, you'd be like, I have a funny character. Sometimes it's very selfish. Let's say Sprockets. Mike is going to write a sketch that's basically Mike Myers scoring and everyone just is in it.

That's one way to do a sketch, and those work on SNL. And then there's conceptual cast sketches where the idea is just bigger, but everyone's playing into the idea. So everyone's kind of scoring, but just the idea of the sketch is funny. Right. So there's both of those, but it's hard to get those ones where just you score, and you need those now and then to survive. Yeah.

Well, you know, so like soon as soon as everything happened or whatever, like the news broke or whatever. And I, well, of course we knew way before the news broke, but I, I text Lauren because I, every pitch,

I be saying some wild shit in them pictures. Can you give us an example? Yeah, I'm going to give you an example. I text Lauren and I was like, look, you know, you know, I love you. I appreciate everything. You know, it's only four men in this business who's like really believed in me and really made a way for me. And it's in Lauren is one of them.

And I was like, but you know, I'm sorry to tell you, pitch going to be boring as fuck without me. Because you never know what the fuck I'm going to say. You know, I'll be saying some crazy shit, you know? I think it's nice, Punk. You have a direct...

line to lauren i dana that just struck me as we had to wait outside his office there's no way to just talk to lauren so the fact that there was only access to a number is nice you'd have to call him yeah you know operator give me a line on four four seven five feet five yeah oh this is is that lauren no he's not here yeah so he's just my guy i he just he's just always been like super supportive and just like

You know, the one reason why I really, really like him is because everybody kind of tiptoe around there. Nobody really wants to tell you what's really going on. And I'd be like, I don't have time for this bullshit. Somebody just tell me what's up. Lauren is going to tell you what's up.

He not play no games. He gonna tell you how he feel. He gonna tell you why your shit was trash. He gonna tell you what you could do to fix it. You know, so it's just like, he was just always just honest about everything. How did they find you? I was just curious what they first, the show. That same thing. That same thing. I was wondering. I was like, what the fuck?

Because there's a Comedy Central special or what was it? What got you? You know, you know, just being in this, you know, I'm, you know, I'm from New Orleans. I, you know, I always knew I wanted to do comedy. SNL was not on a vision board because.

I'm just like, everybody told me my whole life, you'll never be on network TV. So I was just like, okay, well, I'm never going to be on network TV. I had some nice friends. So that was just never there for me. I never thought that that was possible. So one day I'm just riding in the car. I had just left my wife or whatever, and I'm just driving. I'm like, my life is over. And I'm driving across the country. And as soon as I'm just like going crazy, my phone rang and it's my manager. And he was like, Hey,

You ever thought about being on SNL? I was like, what? He was like, yeah. Do you want to audition? I was like, what? He was like, yeah. I was like, okay, I'll do it. And I was just like, they're never going to hire my crazy ghetto ass. That's what I said. I just gave them crazy, just goofy ghetto shit. And then they hit me up with the recall, I mean, with the callback. And I was like, they like that shit.

They're like, "Yeah." I was like, "Okay, you could send the same shit or you could revamp it." I was like, "No, I'm going to revamp it." I was like, "Give me time." So the first time I sent six characters, next time I added six characters to it and then I put a clip of my standup at the end. Because I'm like, "Hey, look, if I'm going to be in this competition, I'm going to come for real." Everything, yeah. Throw it all up. Throw it all up there. And then once you get in there, you start seeing familiar faces like, "Oh, we did Just for Laughs together."

I don't really know anything about Hollywood business. So when I'm at Just for Laughs, I don't even think SNL was in there watching. But they had people from SNL, scouts and everything. Word gets around, yeah. Yeah, yeah. So I think maybe from that, it was buzzing from that too.

You know, Dana, when we did Lights Out, I used to go to the comedy store a lot when Adam Eget, you know, Adam Eget was there and he would kind of run the place. And then I think he told me about Punky and then I saw Punky there. I'd see you in the hallways. And then I think you came on Lights Out a few times. Yeah, that was fun. Lights Out was super fun. Yeah. Yeah. We did that twice. Yeah. I got it. You know, Punky, I wish we had clips now because...

Those clips would float around. Just an exchange between me and you on there would have gone out as a clip. That was like two years early for that. So Punky was already getting the word out, and those things all help. You're on their panel with other comics. They say they're with you. Adam's talking about you. I'm talking about you. And then you just never know whose ears are open to that, and you just get momentum, and then somehow it gets...

To Lauren, it's great. I love that. Yeah, you look, you tell me, listen, ever since word got out, you know, that I'm not going back to the show. My phone and opportunities have not stopped. Like, it's crazy. I'm like, wait, what's going on? What's going on? Like, well, people know you off the show now. So, yeah.

People like, what's up? She won't do this audition. She won't do this cameo. She won't look. You can work on something else. Yeah, right. And it's, you know, it's a little bit. It's going to be very different, but I'm excited. I'm super excited. I'm working on a movie that Lauren is also helping me do. I'm putting together my special that Lauren's also helping me do. So my relationship with the show is still strong. We just we just mutually we just understood that it wasn't my zone.

And this is not like leaving the show in the early 90s. There's so many outlets for you to do your work. Live streaming shows, doing special, whatever. So you've shown on the show that you can stand and deliver. If they give you a chance and you're out there, you're scoring, you're killing with Colin or whatever you're doing. Yeah.

you've got the credibility. So now, yeah, I could see that your phone's going to be ringing a lot. It's just... Well, I'm happy y'all ain't seen the sketches that bombed. Thank God we have something called the dress rehearsal. Let's look at a clip. I put Punky Johnson, SNL, and they do... Worst sketches. No, it's all great sketches. Oh, my God. But that's... Wow, horrifying. I had, like, two sketches that went bad. I just... Oh, God. You know...

You know, I'm this. First of all, let's get it. Let's get it out there. I'm dyslexic. OK, so you put a dyslexic person out here. Let's get it out there where they got to read stuff. That's about 10 to 15 feet away from them. Yeah, it's sometimes as far. Yeah. You're like, wait, what? And then sometimes it being brown. I'm like, I can't see brown. Yeah, but I give me fucking yellow or orange. Yeah. Give me something jumps off.

Fuck, that's so funny. Farley taught me how to squint. He goes, all you have to do is lean into the cards and squint as hard as you can. I go, I don't think that looks good on camera. And then you go back and watch it, but like, oh, I guess that does look normal, but it doesn't feel normal. So when you're out there, you... Feels nuts. Yeah. I was just like, there were times where I had to like, like one of my sketches that bombed so bad, I did, uh,

the lady who had like the seven part series on TikTok about how her man. Right. I forgot her recent TC. Right. And while I was doing recent TC, I had to be like driving, looking, pressing buttons, fixing the mirror, reading the cards. I'm like, I am totally dying. I was like, can I bring a bell or something to get out of this? Can I pull the eject button? Get,

Get the next sketch ready. Get the next thing ready. I'm going to get out early. Oh, that's so true. When you've got too much business going on and you're trying to peek at the card. Oh, was it supposed to look like a tick tock you're saying? So you're trying to, the cameras, like the, you holding the camera. And when you look at that, you're really right. You're supposed to be looking almost into the camera, but you have to look at the cards. Yes. So it's a bit of a cheat already. Yes. It's a bit of a cheat.

I could not get that sketch together to save my life. You're like, I'm going to crash this fake car. Can we see that anywhere? It's out there somewhere. I might pull it up. It'll be funny. It's one thing

Like, nobody ever had to come tell me my sketch was cut. I knew when my sketch was cut. I would text Dennis up and I'd be like, I know that shit cut. You ain't got to tell me. And he'd be like, well, thank you for telling me, punky. Thank you. I don't have to let you down. Nah, bitch, I know. Yeah, fuck. Horrible. I know what I'm doing.

One thing about me, I know when I'm trash. Okay. And I'm not about to even sit down and wish for the slightest redemption. I mean, I'm like, I'm not even gonna have the opportunity to fix that. So let me just tell y'all, I know that it was trash and we good. So they go to the commercial and you quietly get up, you get a smattering of applause and then no one high fives you. Crew guys look away. You walk that long road. No one makes eye contact. No one makes eye contact. Do not. That,

Now that is a walk of shame. Yeah. Do not walk by the monitor where Lauren watches that video village. Oh, everyone's like, oof. Yeah.

But I'm, you know me, I'm just like, I'll go, I'll go walking through talking shit to everybody. You'll go, even if you want it on, I'm cutting it. It's too much work. I'm cutting it. It seemed like you had a personality that could navigate the nightmare that SNL can be. I mean, you seem resilient just hearing you like I'm trash. We're good. Yeah. Cause it's just like, you know, it's a, it's a thing of like, look, you know,

I feel like if I got this job maybe 10 years ago, I would have been better because I would have had the momentum. I would have had the energy. I would have had the stamina. But getting that job at, I think what I was like 36 or something. It's like, you just...

You just be like, all that shit just roll off your back. You be like, I don't care about none of that shit. I don't care. Just give me my sketch. Let me go. You know what I'm saying? But if I would have started that job at 26, I would have been bouncing off the walls in that moment. I'm trying to make friends with everybody. I'm talking to everybody head on. I'm in everybody's office. You know, what's going on? What you guys doing? You know, you got some treats? Give me some snacks. You know, and they're just mooching and shit. But I was just too old for that. Just mooching.

Shit. Funky, do you ever do a sketch? I was the opposite. I'd do a sketch, it would bomb at read-through, and I'd be back there going, waiting to find out what made it, going, maybe they think it's like a fixer-upper, you know? They can get in there, and if they put every single writer on it, I think we could get it going. They're like, yeah, we could do that with every sketch, but we like the ones that are already kind of done. Well, the thing is, sometimes you would have that feeling, too, because there'd be some sketch,

some sketches that Bob at that table and they'll pick them anyway and fix them. So why, why wouldn't you think maybe this time it could be you? Of course, maybe. I'll tell you, I see you fix that sketch while you can't fix mine. I'll tell them. Yeah, exactly. Fuck. I got a nugget of an idea in mind too. It didn't, it didn't expand the way we thought it didn't grow.

But you guys could fix it. You're smart. That's why talk shows, you know, fake talk shows worked. Go ahead, Pucky. Yeah, yeah. No, I didn't mean to talk over you. Oh, not at all. I'm just saying that home base of fake talk show or stuff where you're looking right at the audience as a stand up, you know, being obviously on update is just right out there in a restaurant sketch in the corner underneath the bleachers. It's got to really be great.

was probably the best for me, but also the hardest because I honestly could not see them damn cards. I couldn't see him. That's it. Oh my God. You know, so, you know, how did you manage it? Well, then also what is I'm a standup comedian. So when I do comedy on stage, um, I'm talking to the whole crowd. I'll go here. I'll go to the side, to the middle, to the other side.

So when I was doing up, whenever I would do update, I would communicate with the crowd instead of looking at the cards. Yeah. And so I would look at the card, look at the crowd, go back to the card and they like, punky, you have to just keep reading the cards. But my, my muscle was, would always be standup comedy. When I went into the chair, my muscle would kick in. Yeah. So I just, you know, I'm not, I'm not a deal. I look at file updates.

Right now when you're talking, you have an energy and a realness that isn't exactly the same when you stay on cards for anyone. So I see why you do that because you're in front of a crowd like this is where I know what to do and the crowd's with me because it's like a sprint, Dana, as you know, you do update. If you don't get out of the blocks and those first jokes don't work, it's a long update. Yeah.

If they don't buy your bit right away, it's very hard to get them to buy it toward the end. You're like, fuck, I want the first joke to get a laugh. They get the concept, and now I'm just going to roll. But man, when you're working up there, it is tough. You're like, fuck, am I bombing an update? You're looking over going, it's not going to make it. Oh, sick. I did an update where I played Michael Che's ex-girlfriend who came back. Basically, the premise was like...

You know, Michael Che's ex-girlfriend, you get me, you sweep me off my feet, you pull me out of my apartment, you give me this lavish life, and then you disappear. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Do you have to run that by Che before we, oh, sorry, go ahead. No, no, no. I didn't run it, you know, we run everything by the writer, our writing boss, like the head writer.

They're like, do you think Che will be all right with this? I don't know. Just write it in the seat. Okay, fine. I'll write it in the seat. But it got picked. But at dress, at dress, I just, the first line off the top, I don't know what happened. But I said the whole first line wrong. And man. Oh, no. No.

Exactly what I'm talking about. And then you're all, you go, just give me one more take. And I got this and they're like, Nope, we're off and running. Digging out, man. Just digging out of a hole, you know, doing the dance. I mean, but the audience, if they feel it's kind of authentic, there's a line where, when I was watching you perform up there and, uh, Michael J is such a great and Colin, they're both great straight people.

to their guests. And they're seeing the fun. I mean, you're on a roll. It's a stand-up. They're just feeling it. And, you know, that's when it's electric. That's what you want. That it feels alive. It doesn't feel. It feels alive in the room. I'm going to always remember my first update. It was like, you know, SNL is one of those things where, you know, your sketch...

can die a thousand ways, period. Like, there's so many different ways it can die. It's so brutal, yeah. It could start dying on a Monday night. Like, damn, we ain't even been through the week. I'm a fucking sketch dad already. Before read-through, it's dying? Before you even...

It could die a thousand ways, right? So I had this sketch that I was doing. I was writing a song. And then they hit me up at 3 o'clock. 3 o'clock in the morning, my first year towards the end of the season. Punky, you can't do that sketch. You can't write that song because Chris is writing a song. I'm like, it's 3 in the morning.

It's three in the morning. This is all I have. Oh, man. Who's Chris? Which Chris? Huh? Which Chris? Chris Pratt? Chris Reid. Chris Reid. Okay. He was the lyricist, you know? And so Chris hit me up. He was like, yo, you know,

Shit, sometimes you could write something cool at three in the morning and don't even know it because I was panicking. It's my first year. It's a COVID year. We can't really communicate with each other because we have these COVID rules and these guidelines. So I was just on my own, just stranded on this island. So I sat down, looked in the news. I saw that Paul Pierce got in trouble for having strippers. He's an ESPN analyst. Yes. So I'm like, I'm going to write about that. Yes.

But then the woman, you know, my girl who I'm messing with, I'm on the phone with her. And she was like, I was like, I'm gonna just write about this Paul Pierce thing. She was like, why don't you just be one of the strippers?

I was like, yeah, I'm going to write from the strip of POV. So she helped me get that whole thing out. And I wrote it in about an hour. And I sent up a wish and a prayer. And it made it all the way to the show. That was my first character. Pineapple Penelope Pierce. Yes. Pineapple Penelope Pierce? Yeah. It crushed. Oh, Peterson. It crushed. Love it. That was my favorite. I had been trying to bring her back.

to do something. I want, I had a vision of, you know, pineapple coming down on a strip pole or whatever, but yeah, yeah, yeah. It died a thousand ways. It's, it's the pineapple show, you know, it's a, to give her a cable access show talk show.

Cable, cable, late, late cable show. You know what? I might have to do that. Everybody loves that sample. Well, the name's perfect. It's funny because just a tweak like that, writing about it versus playing it, and you're like, oh, and then you come alive and go, oh, now I think of 10 more jokes. I know how to do this. Right. And you get a funny look. You get a wig. You get whatever you want to dress like. You can do an accent. You can do whatever you want. And then it all comes together.

Then when they get pushed out an update, they almost start laughing already. Yeah. Oh, it's so stupid. I have this. I envisioned if you have you guys seen Players Club with Ice Cube and Bernie Mac and who else in that shit? Amy Fox.

I don't think so. It's a movie, right? It's a very ethnic movie. Okay. And it's about, it's a movie about strippers, you know, and some of the strippers was just stripping and being gangsters. And then they had another stripper who was in school and just stripping for just strictly for the money. But the one that was the gangster, that's who I resembled. So she had this big, tall, white hair, like white,

do and and some some two pieces that came down and the back of it was super long and these long nails and the boobies out so i was like i just showed snl that and it was like yeah we could do it oh they they go to town on that yeah you give them like 24 hours they're like got it

That's why I see why they win all the awards, you know? Yeah. They're fucking great at that. Yeah. Like in hair, like they, like, they like challenges to you. They want something different. Weird. There's, they get bored. They're like, you go, I have this super weird idea. They're like, yes, because they want to see if they can pull it off. It was insane. I remember when Maya was there, um,

And, you know, this is for the first election or whatever. I mean, not the first, but four years ago when all the stuff was going on. Yeah. And and Kamala Harris, she was playing Kamala. And then between read between dress and live, Kamala did something on TV. She maybe she did like a speech or something. Oh, wow. And she had on a different outfit. And so they saw that. And within like, I don't know, man.

within like what an hour between shows 45 minutes yeah they changed Maya's entire fit to match what was they had directly seen on television wow I'm like I was just like what is going on in this building

The departments are so crack and so aggressive. And so they're like the veterans, you know, what do you want? And the crew too, between sketches, the way they move stuff and you go, they've got 10 seconds, but they always land it. It really is extraordinary. SNL is just, it gets you like this. There is no second chance. During the commercials, the action, when you're in an audience, you get to watch everything.

Everyone's screaming going, go, go, go this way. And they're pushing stuff around and they're like 30 seconds. And Cass isn't even there yet. And crowds looking around like, where's the, who's in this? And the host comes running out and they jump in. They go 10 seconds. Then you're like, where are the cards? What color am I? Green? Did you ever come too late to a sketch? Punky? Like you, you spaced or did you ever hurt yourself? Well,

Or, I mean, Rob Schneider once did not come into the scene. Oh, I remember that, yeah. And it was the cold opening. I'm out there by myself doing Woody Allen. And he's not there because he's supposed to do Soon-Yi. And I'm just by myself improvising, you know, just spaced out. Everyone thought it was part of it. They're like, yeah.

You're like, when does the movie start? You're just talking to yourself. Soon he's not even here and I feel nauseous because, you know, that kind of thing. And then just wait, wait, wait, and there he comes. But the shenanigans of Saturday Night Live. I don't know if I ever came to a

a set late, but I know that I've wrecked a live performance. I remember I got on, you know how the big sketches where the entire cast is in it? I'm pretty sure y'all don't know what that feels like because you've never had to perform with 23 people. Was it really 23? That blows my mind. If I'm not mistaken, it's 23. If I'm not mistaken. I mean, I could be one number off. All right, but still.

But I remember I had to do my part in this big long PTA sketch or something. And then I had to hurry up and run to be ready for the next sketch. And as I'm running, I'm on live TV. The whole top of my head brushes against the next set cameras.

While the person was reading. So if you watch it closely, the top of my head is covering half the television. Oh, no. That's the stuff Lauren does not like. I was just like, oh, God. Carol Burnett show. It'd be better if there was like not a head in the sketch. We could actually see the performer. That would be like a really, really good thing.

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You did just for this ramp up for a second. So how long were you doing stand-up before you got on SNL? Let me see. I got on SNL in 2020. I would say about nine years. Okay. I started at...

I started, I think, June 2011. That was the first time I got on stage at the Comedy Store. And did you work at the Comedy Store before you took the stage, or is that just sort of a rumor? I did. So what happened was, so look, L.A. is different, okay? I don't know what's going on out there in Los Angeles, but every single job interview is like a casting call. I had no idea. So as I'm looking for jobs in Los Angeles...

And every time I went there, it's 50 to 60 people, 70 people in line with briefcases and headshots. And I'm like, is this a joke? Briefcase? Yeah. To be a bartender, you have a headshot. They all had a briefcase, one headshot in it. It was insane. I'm like, I don't have no headshots. I ain't got none of that shit. I got me. But everybody would be dressed like this for a job interview. I'm like, y'all dressed like that for a job interview?

You know, because me, if I'm going to a job interview, I'm coming casket shop. I got on a suit. My hair is done. My eyes are glossy. Like, I'm looking good. Okay? So when I go sit into the interview,

You know, first me and a guy bonded because he was gay and I was gay. So that that that took off real good. And then some chatter. And then he then me being from New Orleans. He's like, oh, you know, we never had anybody from New Orleans come here. And he asked me what my favorite food was. And I say ham hocks. He was like, what's a ham hock? So now we're getting into food and everything talking about outside interview.

And I ended up getting a job at the comedy store. And he asked me if I did comedy. And I was like, I would like to try comedy, but I would like to also not tell anybody. And I want to watch it for a while and kind of just start understanding the politics of it. And he was like, okay.

But then maybe six months later after I got the job, that's when I started showing interest in comedy. So everybody in the building was like, nah, you only want to do it because you see it. They didn't know what was in my heart. So I had to work extra hard to prove to them that I really came to do comedy and I'm not just trying to do it because I'm in the environment now. So I basically just shot myself in the ass.

What was your job at the store? What was your job? Oh, I was a waitress for maybe like, uh, maybe about two years. And then I became bartender. And then it was funny. I did a set last night in there. I love it. Yeah. It's fun in there. You go to that kitchen, you know, the whole drill. So you're in the main room. Start doing spots there again. Well, well, yeah, I can start, I can go back now, but it's super, super different. Like when Jeff, like Jeff is not there anymore, which you could feel that presence not there. It sucks. Um,

um richie's gone now and i think richie was the last bone that there was had been there over 20 yeah adam's gone oh my god adam but at least adam is in austin and the four guys who i told you like really love me adam is one of them oh oh yeah of course yeah adam's talking about i hit him up this morning talking about you that's that's my i got a comedy father i got a comedy king a comedy zaddy and a comedy lord

Which one is Adam? Lauren? I'm my comedy daddy. Um, a Hyman Weinberg is my comedy. Zaddy. Um, Ethan Stern is my comedy king. They Becky is my comedy Lord.

And Lorne Michaels is my comedy godfather. So I got five. I forgot one of them. Look at this, Funky. Hey, that was a good day right there. That's a picture I'm showing from Lights Out with me. I think Dennis Miller and Joe Coy, we were on the same show, right? Yeah, that was a fun one.

That was a great one. We got to bring that back. That was a really fun show to be a guest on because it was just small. No, it really was. Yeah. What is your ideal performing? Like, what do you love the most? Small club, big club? You like working with a lot of comics. I mean, what's your like, like you're probably doing stand up right now. Are you are you doing gigs or are you just chilling? I'm doing stand up right now. But it varies to me. Like right now.

Like sometimes right now, I just don't feel like it, you know, and I hate that feeling because I always feel like doing stand up. But I'm just like in this just in this space that I'm trying to get out of, which I don't even know what that space is. I'm trying to figure that out so I can get out of it. But if I'm doing comedy, I honestly like the intimate settings, low roof, low ceiling. Yeah. With a bath. So like, yeah.

I've done some big places though. So like when I opened up for Colin or when I opened up for Michael Che, you know, they got these, they have these huge venues and those are pretty fun too. Those are pretty fun. But I would prefer like nice, you know, like a cellar in the basement.

Yeah. It's like, yes. That's kind of what it was made for, you know, 200, 200 seaters, 300 seaters, low ceiling. And then that's where we all used to start up. I'm just going to ask you about, I mean, a lot of times people,

Stand-ups don't feel like doing stand-up for a while. And it's sort of good to just get away from it. And then usually the ideas will come pouring in all of a sudden. But are you just a little bit... I mean, what's your state of mind right now? Because you just announced you're leaving the home, but you're busy. Or you just feel... You feel tired? Do you feel energized? Or how are you... Yeah, like I'm just...

You know, my summer went from not being busy to being busy. And I was like, wait, how did this happen? See, this is what I got. I got to start keeping my mouth closed. See, because I keep forgetting that my team, they some goons. OK, so I'm sitting up there. I got nothing on my calendar for the summer. I think I had like three dates to go to like Vermont, blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. And, you know, I call I call my comedy king. I'm like, I was like, my camera did not fill up for the summer. He was like, call you right back.

Next thing I know is Chicago, Virginia, Washington. I didn't want it to get filled up this much. It's like you got a nice little residency at the union. You got to figure that out. Now you got to go here. You got to go there. Now you got this gala and this thing. And I'm like, when am I going to sleep?

So he books them and then tells you you're taking them or does he run them by you first? Well, well, so I got so then he hits up my touring agent and my touring agent just just just, you know, and then I defer to him for everything. I'm like, what you think about this? What you think about that? He was like, if you want to do it, we're doing it, period, because I defer to him for everything because.

Yeah, I just he just I don't feel like he ever steer me wrong. He always give me the best advice. He always hit me up on the side and be and give me like the pros and cons of doing the job and then be like, look, it's over you. But this, you know, that's how we feel about it. Do you travel with an opener? Do you have someone with you? I do have somebody to open for me, which is great. Yeah.

Because we have mad fun. Look, I'm trying to get HBO somebody because I started doing a docuseries about three years ago about just what it's like being on a road. Because I would watch these comedians and they would do their stand-up special. And everything is just, they do their special and it's one hour. And then at the end of it, they do like this 15-minute documentary of Meet the Family and This Way I Grew Up and ABCD.

And I was just like, man, that shit boring, man. You know what I'm saying? I wanted to show people what it's really like on the road because nobody really want to show what it's really like. Everybody want to show all the ups. So I got the series going. You see the ups, you see the downs, you see the fights, you see the...

the back and forth with the crowd if the crowd do stuff you know one time we was on the road and heard one of our friends took his life man that was a disaster of a night for us and we show all of that just to show people what is really cool I like it yeah and travel just travel car doesn't show up plane does not take it off on time

Oh, yeah. And I mean, it's so stupid because me and my friend Dicey, we have such this crazy dynamic. It's just like we are totally yin and yang. She's so straight. I'm so gay. She's so everything about her just gets on my nerves. But we're best friends. Yeah.

So you actually have footage of this show. You just need to complete it, kind of? Look, we kind of want it to be like, you know, this is the life of a comedian. So where we go to a place, we do what the tourists do, we eat what the tourists eat, and then we perform. And that's kind of like the through line-up. That's good. Oh, that's interesting. I like it.

Got a little more shape to it. That's good. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's super stupid. I mean, it's so funny. And I'm naked the whole time. Is that the name?

No, I don't think you can name it. It should be called Super Stupid. There's something you said that it's just been in the back of my head a little bit. I have no idea why, but a while back during this podcast, you said Strictly for the Money. It just sort of hit me as sort of poetic. And I don't know if that's the name of a show or it's strictly for the money. It just hits me. I don't know. I like that name. When doing a special, how do you come up with

Yeah. The name of your special. Like, do you, do you, because I'm struggling. I have about 15 names for my special right now. Yeah. And I don't know what. The funny part is it's fun to think of them. And then afterwards, no one really cares, but it's fun to think of naming it. And you go, what if it's this, what if it's this something? I know it's hard. I here's my, my people are like, what was your last special? Like, let's all think of one. Here's my, I'll do the first one. Punky. Okay. Punky gets loose or punky on the loose. Yeah.

Yeah, definitely. Listen, this special, like the first 20 minutes, it's tough. The whole 20 minutes, it's controversial. Oh, okay. Take that, Chappelle. That'd be a tough one. It's controversial. Like, I'm really like, you know...

I'm saying some things on that, but it comes full circle. You know, like it starts like really irate and just like, look, this is how I feel. Oh yeah. I'm coming. I start crazy. I start insane. I don't build up to insane. I like it. You got to get them at the beginning. That's a good time to do it. I start insane. And the crazy thing is my biggest thing.

like supporters in this comedy business is old white men you never know your fans they are old they are white and they are men right here and they love my black ass it is crazy how many people like black people don't come to my shows gay people don't come to my shows old white men and they bring their wives and their wives come up and they be like cambridge is happy to see you

to see his punky, I'd be like, how do you in-written old punky? What do you mean his punky? What the fuck?

That's fantastic. As part of that club, I'm a fan, so I get it. It's insane. They just love me. And I'll be like, it could surprise you, the people. It surprises me when I'm on the road because they're like, what do you want to do? I'm like, I think Arizona. They're like, why Arizona? I'm like, because I always get the people in Arizona just always show up and it'd be my old white men all the time.

David stomping grounds. That's me. That's, that's me also. I'm from Arizona. So yeah, it shows we only have, we start with old people. I started there. I'm old. Uh,

Well, Punky, what else you want to ask her, Dana? I think she did a great job. It's great talking to you, Punky. It's great to hear all this stuff. And I think this gives people an insight of how you felt about your time on SNL. If, if Lauren is listening to this, would you like to say anything to Lauren? He's always listening. What do I want to say to Lauren? Um, you owe me your car since I heard about that. Yeah, true. You owe me your car.

He owes me a laptop or whatever. Yeah, you owe David a laptop. Yeah. No, Lauren knows how I feel. I love him. I think I might have gotten into some trouble. I don't know what happened. I said at a show that I wasn't going back to SNL and the world went insane. And

And I didn't understand... I didn't understand what was happening. I was like, what the fuck is wrong? Like, my phone is ringing off the hook in the morning. Internet tags and all kind of articles and reporters want to talk. And I was like...

what is happening? And I was like, you have to confirm. You have to confirm right now. We have to know what's going on. I'm like, going on about what? It's like, well, SNL. They want drama. They want drama. They want it to be, leaving isn't good enough. They want trouble. They tried to make it look like I was saying some wild shit, but I was just sharing experiences in a funny, really goofy type of way. And it just went

So I was just like, the first thing I was thinking about was Lauren, because he's never done anything to hurt me or trash my reputation. So the first thing I was thinking about was him, because I was like, I can't, I don't ever want to piss him off. I'm never going to piss off the people that showed me mad love, you know? But it blew over. That was like my first, I guess, public thing or whatever.

Yeah, it's weird to be quoted in ways you go. I didn't mean that. And I didn't say it that way. And they cut and they paste and then they want to. But, you know, it's an emotionally violent place for everybody. So then there's a drama to Saturday Night Live just because the very nature of live and what it is. So.

Everyone knows that, you know, but now we have a better idea of your adventure there doing this podcast. But if you if you and SNL, I just want to wish all my people good luck. Y'all have a wonderful 50th season. I know Lauren going to put together some mad ass lineups. I know that shit going to be bomb. I'm going to be tuning in and I'm going to be at as many after parties as I can on somebody's table shaking my ass. Yeah.

All right. That's a good summary. That's a good summary. I don't know what else to say after that. Good job, Punky. I'll see you around. Nice to meet you, Punky. Absolutely, guys. Thank y'all for having me, man. Y'all have a wonderful, what is today, Tuesday? Yeah. Yeah. Happy Tuesday, guys. Yeah, thank you. You too. All right, y'all. I'll see you around campus.

This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all this stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts. Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.