Nikki Glaser
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's because they're naked. Well, it's like the 1800 time you say on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there. I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it. Toyota's national sales event is happening now, meaning it's a great time for a great deal on a dependable Toyota truck.

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A good friend of mine, Nikki Glaser, today. And she is someone that I've known for a while now. Always a good laugher. Always very generous with compliments. She's super fun and funny and loves you. And we've had dinner with her once or twice, all of us together. I think during COVID we did also. And she and I do Las Vegas together, the Venetian. I think we're there again this weekend. Yeah.

But she's a sweetheart. And we got to cover, of course, the roast.

We do a lot of roast stuff. She's so easy to talk to and incredibly honest, but it never has any teeth to it. You know, there's a sweetness to her and it's just fun to talk to. And we talked all about her beginnings and the psychology of trying to be a standup. And then of course, a lot about the roast that is still matriculating around the culture. They don't do them that often. This one was considered the great called the greatest roast of all time. So yeah,

It's smarter than to call it that because then if you go, hey, do you see the greatest Rose of all time? They go, oh, was it? Okay. And then the next one would be the real greatest Rose of all time. But that was a big thing and she absolutely destroyed, got the first standing ovation in the room and wrote some brilliant jokes and she's

walks us through that we talk about the nerves and what jokes to use anyway so it went by fast david said this will be an easy one and he was right because she had a lot lot to say and she's very open and honest i would listen to it if i was someone right now and they're doing something yeah if you like nikki there she's also got an hbo special coming out hbo specials are kind of that was my first one was hbo great place it starts uh i think it's out now uh

It's kind of a prestige thing. HBO is a little more exclusive. Yeah. You know, Netflix is obviously the kingpin, but HBO is still, it's a very...

they don't just throw those at anybody. No. And someday you will be dead is kind of about her jealousy of other women. Um, so yeah, she, she's everywhere now and, and she's, uh, she's trending as they say, she's very open, very honest. She joins us today. Young lady who's out there and she, uh, is, uh, works with David Spade in Las Vegas at the Venetian. They're going to be there May 5th, December 7th. Johnny would do that. Yeah.

And let's please welcome Nikki Glaser. What's the state tax? Are you taxed in your native state? I would never know that. I live in Missouri and I rent an apartment and I don't own a home. I don't own a car. I don't have kids. But I do spend a lot of money to see Taylor Swift and stuff like that. And I eat out for every meal. You don't have a car. So you just Uber everywhere.

I bought my mom a car and then I took her car. And so I'm driving my mom's car. I paid for it. That's a great present. Just keep taking it back. How are your parents around? No, my mom's old car. Oh. Yeah, no, that's insane. How are your parents handling having a famous daughter who's really successful? How are they? Oh, they love it. How does that? They're famous, Dana. They're on her Instagram. Yeah. Well, my parents, there were five kids. Wow.

tons of pictures on the refrigerator. And then as I got more and more successful, eventually it was just all me. And I said, mom, what are you doing? So it would, did she have ambitions or your mom or dad to be in theater arts? Um, my dad is a musician and plays around St. Louis in, um, grocery stores and different like, uh, bars. Don't low ball him like that. I know he feels it.

He hates when I start with grocery stores, but it mainly is groceries. But he's really, he's a great musician. He just, he just wanted a family and safety. So he chose like a career in cable, which was safe for many years. Yeah.

until he got out, right after he got out. Oh, yeah. Yeah. So he took the safe route, and then he really believed in me and always supported me. I knew when I first started it was going to take, I said eight years before I wouldn't depend on them to help me out a little bit here and there. And it was like eight years on the day where I didn't need them anymore, where I got that first check, that kind of thing.

made it so they weren't covering my overdraft fees. Well, I mean, parents normally warn, but in your own mind, and I can talk for David or me, it's like, it didn't seem like a risk, uh,

I was like, well, I'm just going to try this. I mean, were you more like, oh, maybe I should have a plan B and be a junior high school? No, my plan B was kill myself someday. I mean, honestly, that was kind of like, I was like, I guess I'll just, I don't know what I'll do if I don't find an in some way because I tried all the other ends. I tried acting. I tried singing and no one cared to hear any more of that. And I mean, I wanted to go to theater school and be like an actress. And then I couldn't even get booked like in my high school play. I was always like,

you know in the diary of Anne Frank I was Jewish townsperson B and that was my senior year of like this is going to be my role and so I was getting all the feedback that I did not have it Frank that's not townsperson B yeah that's her plan B was just a pill plan B that that was that's the only plan B we've heard I had no but did you guys have a plan B like what was there did you even I

that's part of why I was successful is that I didn't even, there was just no chance that it wasn't going to happen. Maybe I let that thought in for 20 minutes of my whole time struggling. Maybe I just, it never even occurred. I feel like I hear about like Jim Carrey and, and, and manifesting stuff. And I don't, I think I unintentionally manifested this career because I never let in a thought that it wouldn't happen.

Well, I think that's good. I mean, for me, it was like, I think after a few years, I don't know the eras of comedy booming, but at some point I was averaging five to 600 a month, a $50 gig, $25 birthday party. So then I was like, in those days, too bad for the younger generation. I could, that was my job. So now this is my job. I was a waiter.

before this and a damn good one. Yeah. I love waiting tables too. This is my job. So then I just went wherever. But I just thought if this is what I do to make money on planet Earth, this would be a good way to go. Yeah, even if it stayed at that level, you mean. Yeah, I always say a waiter's wage and now it'd be like $2,000 a month, $2,500 a month probably. Yeah, I did the same thing. Yeah, my overhead like you, Nikki, when you start, everyone when they start

is a minimal overhead. So I quit too early. I was in,

Arizona State, but I was working at a clothing store and I was also... You quit. And I quit because I was making 80 a week. I was making four gigs that are $20 a pop and I was like, I feel like I got this because I wasn't... And then I got out of school and my mom was like, God damn. I'm like, listen, I wanted to be a radio DJ because that was the only other thing you could sleep in and then maybe do the afternoon shift and it didn't seem that hard. But I thought, I can't have...

Everything was too tough. School started to get hard. I got distracted by stand-up. What were you studying to be? Were you in school to be something? It was a little early on because I was still in anthropology and things that didn't matter, but it was to ultimately be in...

Advertising. Because my dad was and my brother Andy was. Okay, that makes sense. And advertising is the thing that you go, okay, if I, that was always my fallback too. I was like, because it's creative, but apparently it's even more soulless than what we, like it's apparently it's, you're so creative all day and it's sometimes fun, but it's like, you're ultimately just trying to manipulate people with your art. And that's gotta be kind of depressing, which is what we are doing a lot of times as well. We've asked people this before, but like, okay, your first set,

Yeah. Yeah. And where was it in the day of the first set that you know you're going to go up? I mean, of course it was good, right? Because none of us do it. The first set is always good. Again, do you know how many comedians that would be like just legends right now that just had a rough first set and couldn't even imagine how good it feels to have a good set? Because that is what keeps you coming back is that memory of the good one. No amount of bad ones make you forget it and chase it. But yeah, of course it was good.

It was at University of Colorado. It was my freshman year. And I was like...

Like, really not doing well mentally. I had an eating disorder. I was, like, on death's door, literally. I was about to die. And I was praying to die because it's just a miserable life. You can't eat because that's part of the disease. You're hungry all the time. You're cold. No one wants to be friends with you because they think you're, like, on a diet trying to look hot even though, like, that's the last thing you're trying to do. You're just, like, stuck. It's, like, it's the fucking worst. It's having...

a terminal illness and everyone blaming you for it and thinking that you chose it because you want to be hot. It's like, it sucks. Choosing to be hot. Yeah. Well, it's because it starts that way, right? Like you get, you do a diet and it kind of works. You get some attention. And then I went as I do fucking, but I just couldn't, I went bananas and didn't even eat one of those a week. And, and just, uh,

And so I was really good at it, but then it got really bad. I was hospitalized and stuff. So I went off to school to get away from my parents who were monitoring what I was up to with not eating. And it was already my plan to go out of state for school, but then I caught this eating disorder between deciding to go out of state and leaving for it. And I was hospitalized during the summer at home. Jesus.

It's rough, but I tricked them all. Got out, was like, I'll eat enough and I'll go to school. I'll be responsible. All the doctors are telling my parents she's going to die if she goes there. Like, there's no question. I was like, yes, like, let me. This is hell. I don't even know how to get out of this. I don't want to get out of it. Like, it's just, it's fucked. But then because I looked so scary, this is my theory, because I looked so scary and no one wanted to be my friend.

I just became like loud and like funny and like told stories and, and violent, like, you know, when we're introducing ourselves around the dorm or at the sorority, I was like rushing a sorority. I looked like a skeleton, like it was crazy. And, but I just was so funny that people started forgetting the way I looked and wanting to be friends with me or I just amped up. Yeah. And I'd never done that before. I never needed to do that before. I kind of just always wanted to be not noticed. But at this point I was so noticeable by the way I looked, I couldn't not notice.

get ahead of it. And then that was when I started hearing like, you should be a comedian. And I was like, huh? Like, is that what it, what I don't, I knew about standup, but I didn't pay attention. It wasn't, I liked SNL. I liked Seinfeld. I liked friends. I liked Conan. That was like the pillars of my comedy obsession, but I didn't get into standup. And then I, um, I like Googled it in my dorm room and was like, is it true? You were inspired by John Bonet. Yeah.

And her early success. I didn't put the joke in my special, which is coming out May 11th. May 11th? What's the name of it? HBO. It's called Someday You'll Die. And it's Saturday, May 11th. So it's already out now by I think the time this is airing. So just go check it out, HBO. Someday You'll Die. But I cut it from the special because...

I had too many jokes about wanting pretty girls to die. And so I had to lose one of them. So it was, you know, the joke is a true story. I've always been insecure, always wanting to be the center of attention, not knowing how to get it. I feel like that's faded as I get older and realize it's not that fun. But initially, I was always like, who doesn't want to be famous? Do you guys relate to that? Your friends in high school or middle school? But mine were like, not really. We don't really care about being famous.

And I'm like, what is everything? I think now, I mean, a younger generation, cause everyone is famous in their own way with Instagram, all that. But I, I said this to Jerry Seinfeld. I checked with my wife once a year. I go, honey, did I ever say I wanted to be rich and famous ever?

Really? And she said no, because I was just trying to win the club. I was trying to get to the middle and then get to the headline. I was just thinking like that. It was too abstract that I would be famous, too crazy that I could be on TV. And it hurt me in a lot of ways throughout my career. I never was able to.

Really take it in. So Dana, what motivated you was just becoming a headliner. Like that was the first, like I just want to be able to make a living, a good living, a decent living doing standup and making people laugh. Yeah. And I came from a track and field cross country background. So I was also really, really competitive, but not in a nasty way. But when Robin Williams was there,

And then he left to do more kid Mindy when he came back, which I said many times, I don't know. He would levitate the room as I call it. It looked like he wasn't trying. It was explosive. I just thought, well, there's a standard. So I kept saying, I've got to get more.

And I was horrible. I would have one joke after like a five-minute setup for a while. I was like, oh, I see a short setup. And then a lot of, you know, it took me a long time. But man, did you, you figured it out. I mean, so quickly. You got to this level. Yeah, I mean, but relatively, like you had it from being like bombing wildly on stage to figuring out how to elicit the kind of laughs Robin Williams gets. And you figured it out. And yeah.

But that's so interesting to me, because there is a difference. I think for me, being famous is just like being loved. It sounds vapid, but at its core, it's just like, I just want love and acceptance. I want to be able to survive in the world because people like me already. It's just a survival instinct. I want to take some vapidity away from it because it feels like... Vapidity. I just want everyone to... Is that even a word? I just want everyone to...

you know, um, I like that. You're already, you're already walking into a room and we have the benefit where people know you and have mostly a positive opinion, or at least you're not scary. At least when you walk up to people or you say, Oh, your kids are cute. They don't think you're a psychopath. They're like, Oh, this guy or any situation you can say hi to people or you can,

and they kind of are off guard already. They're not like, hey, fuck you. Don't walk up to me. Yeah, well, doesn't that make sense in an evolutionary standpoint of like wanting the whole tribe to know who you are and care about keeping you around because and having some stake in your existence? I mean, it comes from, it makes sense where it comes from. But Dana, I think I also have that in me too, that competitive nature that I didn't know because I think I'm the same way of like, I'm not like,

throwing a remote control if I lose a video game kind of angry competitive. But I am viciously competitive. And you realize that when you do things like the roast, which is like, I was just thinking about this. This is like the day after, two days after the roast.

And like immediately you walk off stage and everyone's like, this was the best. This was the second best. This was like, it is a ranking thing. And I'm like, oh my God, that's why I like roses because I want to, I finally found a way in comedy to like compete. And in a way that I feel comfortable competing, like I can't compete maybe in other ways in comedy. Um, and I don't look at like going up at the comedy store against people as a competition, but this is like, you have five minutes, everyone's doing the same thing. It's the same task. And who's the best. Yeah.

And yeah, it brings out that nature. The real thing is you have five minutes. Everyone's doing 23. It's so true. Oh my God. I texted you during the roast. I go, is everyone going fucking long or what's going on here? Well, it was interesting. They told us like, you know, football players are getting three minutes, uh,

Belichick's getting two, you know, and then you're getting, you're getting six, you're getting, Andrew's getting six, Jeff's getting six, and everyone went over because the laughs, you don't account for the laughs at the forum, but I will say they were like, I thought they were going to be a lot more strict about, you can't do this, you know, you can't say this, but the,

get this. I'm sitting. So I have my set, like I'm down to the wire, right? I've been working for a month on perfecting every fucking word, every transition, everything makes sense. Finally get it down, submit it. I'm, and I mean like under the wire, then rush to the red carpet out of the red carpet. I go, do I have time to go to prompter to see what this fucking looks like? Even read through the prompter in the prompter room, all the comedians, all the people on the dais are in the room. So I'm like, can they get,

like so i'm reading through kevin's behind me i'm like kevin hart will you not look at but he couldn't see over everyone's shoulders anyway so it didn't fucking matter so i was like i was can you raise the monitor and so he um so i'm reading through i like um and then and then rushed right on stage i sit down kevin comes up to do his set first uh open and he does one of my jokes

Classic roast situation. Do you think he saw it on the prompter or just parallel development? That setup sounded like I thought he stole it. No, no, no. Yeah, no, sorry about that. Parallel development. Yes, obviously. But I was just like, how did they not catch this? But the truth is, the writing team is getting jokes last minute. Kevin chose his jokes very last minute. They're entering them in. No one cross-checked it. So his joke is that Tom...

Brady got out of his divorce and then he's been fucking around town so much his dick has CTE. And mine was about masturbating to him to research for this and my clit has CTE. But on mine, I have like a tag that I'm like, okay, that makes it different. So I'll just blow past the fact that I do the same joke. But I'm also like...

At first, I'm just my face. I can't even I'm on camera. But how do you get it off the prompter that I mean, during the show, you can't get it off the prompter. No, it's a live show. There's no producer to call. We're on stage already set. There's I don't have I'm like, do I talk into my lab and think maybe someone hears me? I don't have an in the air to hear if they hear me. Jeff, Jeff Ross, who's a producer, comes and sits down next to me. I go, I have the same joke Kevin just did.

And I can't take it out of the prompter. The prompter guy is not going to build. I haven't worked with him enough to, Hey, if I do this, just go to the next one. I had it set.

So then I'm looking at one of my friends who's in the front row and she knows my set backwards and forwards. And I go, and she's like deer in headlights look too. And I go, what do I do? And she's just like looking at the carpet. Cause we're trying to think of another joke that will fit coming out of Tom. You were on my fantasy team last night and then transition after the CTE, like into something CTE without saying it like,

Can you jump the line without the prompter freaking out and blowing your rhythm? No, but that's the thing. I'm like, I don't think I can't because I'm like, I don't even know. And then I, and it would ruin my flow entirely if I stopped and go, Hey, can you, and then I go, okay, maybe I'll just say the joke and go, um, that would have gotten better had it not been already set, like address it. But then that's like, do I need to, I've never performed for even this big of a crowd before it's at the forum. So it's like, I don't know the dynamics of the

the sound and what people like. And so, but then I did the math on it. I was like, okay, there's enough time between me and that joke that they might reset. Like they'll subconsciously knows that isn't as funny as it would have been without hearing it, but maybe they, they won't be able to place it. I think so. I mean, I just noticed it and I went, oh, oh, well the head didn't talk to the tail. That was just, and there was going to be, no one's going to be like, she stole that.

Other people talking about how beautiful Tom Brady is, how attractive he is and stuff like that. Or is he gay? How can you not have overlap? There's going to be bumps. Definitely. And I was surprised that there weren't more like when I submit because after that happened, it was one of his first jokes. And so the rest of the time I'm watching his teleprompter, like where else? Like what am I going to do? Like it was just that moment of, you know, live TV, which obviously you guys are used to where it's like,

I got to make a decision and let's just see if it's the right one. But you have the best line of the night. Which was? I thought it was the most clever. It was hard hitting. But it really made me laugh out loud. And that was, how does it feel? I won't even say it.

That when he can kick your ass while he eats. Yeah. Oh, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. I'd say that I talk about Tom Brady. Now, Giselle, his ex-wife, is dating a jujitsu instructor. I was like, that's got to hurt knowing your ex-wife's new boyfriend could beat your ass while eating hers.

I like that you don't say eating her ass. I'm glad that you like that because I was like, oh, did I even say that? Poor Giselle. Well, it's so outrageous, but it was constructed really well. Thank you. And you said hers. You didn't say ass twice. There was a reason it was palatable. Thank you. That really means a lot. Well, I'll just tell you a point. It doesn't matter that you're on the thing. I thought you won the night. You saw how Kevin Hart reacted. If there is a competition, there isn't. He was a good reactor, though. He really did give it up to you.

You know, me, me, not no money line and all that. I mean, he sincerely in that moment was giving it up to like, that's how it's done. It doesn't get any better. So you must have felt good after that. I mean, amazing because you guys know, like,

We are all kind of in competition sometimes. And for another comedian like Kevin Hart, who definitely has achieved that level of success by making things about him and probably not making it about other people and shining the light on them, that's how you get there, to use that time to break... I mean, he literally went up and was quoting people's jokes, just saying them again. He literally, after I got a standing ovation, which I didn't even know about, he goes, I want everyone in the room, in case you didn't see it at home, Nikki got a standing ovation, to give me that...

Like, I know why he was doing that because he wants to build me up. It wasn't so that people actually – it was designed that way. And I thanked him afterwards and I said, I know you didn't need to be as generous with, you know, the laughter and saying things afterwards as you did. He did it for everyone. And it was an example of what I want to, like, be more like in this business. It made it more fun. It made it very likable too. Yeah. It's –

it's a way to keep Fallon, you know, when you go on his show, when you do stand up on his show, he comes, which is terrifying. And it, you kind of do, you don't go up cold, but you're coming back from

From a commercial break, it's obviously, it's like all of a sudden this person just standing there who's no one's seen. It's like kind of going up cold a little bit for an audience. But he comes out before, warms them up, tells them, I love this girl so much. Like even if he doesn't. Oh, yeah. And then he is like cackling at his desk and just his silhouette moving. He probably isn't even making any sound, but he's giving us that. And the audience is watching him to decide how to feel about me subconsciously. It's the way that...

I feel about YouTube comments, which I hate so much. I hate that everyone gets to just comment on things all the time. And David, I always when I talk about this, I always say how you you told me that the Hollywood Minute, what it was showbiz. Yeah. Hollywood Minute on SNL was the only time like

like celebrities got roasted or like kind of got made fun of or ridiculed. Correctly like that. Yeah. It was all people magazine and all, everything was like fawning, fawning. Yeah. But that was the only place for it.

in the 90s? Yeah, no one could shit on them. And look at it now. That seems insane that that would be the... It didn't exist before. Now we're an angry mob. Yeah. YouTube comments are constantly there to tell you how to feel about a video. Even I'm a pretty savvy consumer and I feel like, I want to watch content and really make my own decision about how I feel about this and not be influenced. But then a little YouTube comment pops up and if it's like...

you know, if it's one of, if it's fly on the wall or whatever, commenting like one of the greatest things I've ever seen. And I see a little check Mark next year. And even if I don't know what it is, I'm like, Oh, someone with a check Mark thinks this is the best thing. I like, I like this more no matter what I just do. Even me who knows that it's trying to get me to like it. So that's what, uh, I think it's really detrimental when it's negative. But when Kevin kind of co-signed, uh,

It really, I think that's why there's been this fervor afterwards that I've never felt in my career before of people being like, you had a standing ovation. You were the best one. I'm like, thank you, Kevin Hart. I mean, I did well, but that really, that boost helps so much.

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It's hard to have no glitches. It's hard to go through a set. It's hard to go later. When they introduced you, I said, fuck yeah, she's got to go soon because Andrew Schultz, who's great, and by the time they got to him, I forgot he was going on. I'm like, oh my God, he's still, he's got to follow every joke. I told him. And he still did great.

I told him, I said, if we swap sets, this could be a different conversation. Because he's like, you did the best. Don't even fucking try to tell me I did too. And he's being very sweet. But I go, but we know it was about, they didn't have any juice left. And we were two hours into a show. I couldn't believe how well Tom Brady did three hours into a show. I was like, but it was a good time all around. Who did you guys in your career, like, do you feel, were there any moments where,

where someone went out of their way to vouch for you or say you're funny that is like stands out to you. I know you have tons, but. Well, uh, for me, um, I guess Brad gray, uh, and Bernie Bernstein, they were, um, uh,

They just championed me. I had other managers and people didn't get me. I was sort of a cutesy guy. I didn't look like a comedian. I did a lot of weird sitcoms because I didn't know that I'd be on Saturday Night Live in three years. Whoa, really? They were the first ones that said, yeah, you, you, yeah, you've got it. And directed you towards SNL and that kind of thing? Were they the ones that say, this is where you belong? Yes. And Bernie managed Lorne Michaels.

Bernie was Lauren's manager and we were all in the ecosystem there. So it was a lot of luck, but I just want for a second, being competitive, like Kevin Hart, I'm sure is maybe he's like who can get to a billion or whatever is a separate lane from generosity and being, you know, it's like, I can imagine you meeting a version of yourself. Who's like 22 in the clubs and you

you catch something good about her. And I, yeah, Tanya Harding her. You just make sure, well, just to be honest, you probably would squash her. Right, because of the amount of time I've been doing it versus her. Yeah. And you pull out the tricks and then the baton.

But yeah, I am. That's why I was talking like the Jean Benet story that I didn't get. Like I'm threatened by girls who are like younger and prettier and, and I can see potential in them. Like, of course I want them to go away and to get, you know, get a boy, like, you know, Brittany Murphy out. I hate to, I'm making obviously a joke, but I want them to get a boyfriend who controls them and then they don't get to succeed and be in reach their potential. There's a secret deep part of me that yes, because when, if the,

to me, this is survival of the fittest. And if she's out there, then that's one less spot for me. And people say there's room enough for everyone, but there is a threshold for how many people people can know. So there is, you can say it all day. Everyone can be famous, but we don't, not everyone can, there is a threshold. So there is a spot. If someone goes, another spot opens up. And, but now I fight that disgusting part of my brain that is so jealous and so, uh,

And when I, I challenge myself every time I get threatened by a girl on Instagram, like I see a clip of a young hot girl and she's being hilarious, like Catherine Blanford or what is her name? Caroline Benowitz. These two like cute, blonde, hilarious girls. And I'm just like, what the fuck? And I just want them to not be funny so bad. I'm watching it like, please don't be funny. And it is because it is every time because they're just naturally hilarious in a way that I feel like I'm not. I now instead of,

When I feel like go away, bitch, I posted on my Instagram story and I say this girl's hilarious. I just like I have to do it. It's my rule for myself to like fight that because that people did that to me early on in my career and tried to like, you know, get me canceled in different clubs and told people I was sleeping with.

to get stage time. And I was like a virgin. I didn't even, I was scared of sex. And I was suddenly like this whore that was blowing people, disgusting comics for stage time. And it was, it really held me back. I had to like move out of my home club town because it was like, no one respected me and everyone thought I was stealing jokes from guys. I like that move still works. It's like, she's a whore. It's like, it sounds like it works through the history of time. Yeah.

And it just, everyone's like, what? And, and she was, these guys were right. She's blowing Pauly Shore and he's writing for her. And I was, I was like, I don't know which I should be more insulted by. Yeah.

Not because Pauly's hilarious, but like that. How could you think he could write these jokes for me and that I would trust him to write to my voice? Like it was just like it was. So I try to just do the opposite, even though they're absolutely I really relate to that bully. The person, you know, the people that even bully. What is the phrase rumor monger? Is that the phrase people who cultivate rumors to destroy people? It's easy to do, isn't it? Like.

But schadenfreude, you know, the German word for taking joy in your friend's failures.

So that we all, we all are five years. Oh, okay. We're all 10 years old inside. So there is all those reflexes, you know, it's like toy story. There's a new kid in town, you know, all that. The next Nikki Glaser. It's instinctual. You're being replaced. There's someone younger. They get more attention. They're more fertile. Like these are all the things I talk about in my special, but yeah, it makes sense. Like I remember, um, what was I just going to say the, oh, but yeah,

when my bully in my hometown, like who really devastated me. And I really did have to leave town because she got all of my friend comics against me. Like my club that I started at, like I just couldn't get stage time because she convinced everyone I was a hack whore. And so, um, that's the title of your next special.

Hackhorn. I think that's like the Japanese translation of the one that's out now. That's your poster. Hackhorn. In Tokyo. Hackhorn.

But what I remember, I had told Amy Schumer, we were dear friends, and we were talking about, and she knew all about her, and oh, we both hated this girl, and we're like, oh, you know what? This is going to drive you to succeed. And I finally got to a place where I was doing really well, and I remember texting Amy one day, like, I found out

she's pregnant. And I was kind of like, Oh, she's like got a husband or boyfriend. And Amy just goes, you won. I was like, Oh, you're right. We're not going to hear much from her now. Um, so yeah, that's my new thing is wishing girls pregnant. Yeah. I wish him to get pregnant to get rid of him for a while. Instead of death, just pregnancy. It buys you some time. When we did the roast for Rob Lowe, I saw Rob yesterday. Actually, we did the roast for Rob Lowe. Why did I say that?

um we uh he's because you can't not see him and go like i'm looking at a perfect yeah it's it's jarring what he looks like i'm sure you never get used to it but yeah when we were doing the roast it still bothers me it is he's my john bonnet so when i did uh the roast with nikki that's the only one i've done was for against rob low or whatever it's called it was rob low roast

And then I thought one of the interesting things, I never did it, was the respect and quiet unwritten rule that regular people don't seem to know. When I go to the improv, if Jeff Ross is on stage, I don't go in. And when they're practicing roast jokes, I saw you the other night, you're doing yours.

The other comics that are on the roast step aside on their own. They go, we're not allowed to see each other. Yep. And when you go to the stage, Dana, they were like that day, I'm going to just look at the prompter. Yeah. Rob Lowe is there and they go, we got to get Rob Lowe out before you can come in. And everyone's in on it and everyone understands. Yep. Oh, wait, Nikki's in there. But we don't say it.

Yeah, they just go, you're not ready to go in yet. And in my head, I go, oh, Nikki must be. Someone's in there. Yeah, we don't. That's the strange thing. I've noticed that in this time around, like I'm running into Jeff around town and I'm, you're trying to get a sense of like, how hard are we going? With Tom Brady, can we mention Aaron Hernandez? Can we mention him kissing his kids? Can we mention Giselle even? Can we mention Bridget Moynihan? Can we mention him deflating balls? Like, you don't know where the line is. So I got on an early call and I'm like,

You know, what's the vibe? Like, you just want to get a sense of other people's jokes to see what's going on. You don't know what they are, yeah. But you can't because you wouldn't want anyone to see your jokes. Because you go, am I the one going too far? That's the funny part. Yeah, and then you hear someone going too far and you're like, well, now I want to go further. Yeah, the first joke you hear, you go, oh, fuck. And now your whole set, the bar rises. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

That's what happened to me like a week ago. I'm like, wait, there is an Aaron Hernandez joke? Like, we're going to joke about a guy who hung himself in prison tragically after killing someone because he had CTE, which is what all these guys are going to get on stage eventually. Like, oh, we're going there? Let's, okay. There were three of them, right? Yeah. Yeah. I mean, it was, yeah, there were. Bridget Monaghan said something today. She did? She said, she posted something like, uh,

You know, I would never. It wasn't it wasn't saying her, but she said, I would never let people. It's really what you think she'd say something like that's not something I would do. I thought we would never do stuff like this. Yeah. About and I know because she gets dragged into it. I think one of your jokes. Yeah. But also Giselle took such a fucking beating that I all I wanted was her to walk out at the end.

and get a standing ovation. How cool would that have been? I'm sure they tried to get her, but there's no way. That would have been so cool. Sources in a fucking karate gi. It's Brazilian jiu-jitsu, which I love the Kevin Hart call it karate. It's not about the karate lesson. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I haven't learned one thing. Okay, I have a question, Nikki. Yeah. In the room...

And your vibe, you're looking at Tom, you're watching him. He's a good sport. They say he got mad at Jeff Ross for a second. What's your vibe of how much pain or not pain he was feeling and how much he was expecting these level of jokes or was he surprised?

I think he was down for whatever. I mean, there was, you know, we all agreed not to make fun of his kids and the kissing thing. We all were like, we don't want to bring that into it because it, you know, his kids are in like middle school. Yeah.

We want them to keep that special between them. And so we just decided that was kind of the only one that I was like, hey, we're all kind of collectively not going to do that. And I go, okay, well, there goes half my act. Like so much was...

about that. Because that was the only thing I knew about him. Like that was, when that video came out, I was kind of obsessed with it because my dad used to kiss me on the lips as a kid. And, and I had a bit of like, it went into my adulthood where I was like, we can't do this. And I know we do this as a family. And my other friends would be like, you guys kiss him. Like I related to it. So I had a lot of jokes about that. And then they all went away. But, um,

I forget what your question was. Well, did you feel like that he was. Oh, yeah. You might see that he co-signed for the Giselle jokes and he had a heads up that is where they were going to go to do it. It was so rough. Well, I couldn't look at him because I felt like he even in there's this clip of me online that I'm watching and he cuts to him and he looks devastated. Like he looks really shell shocked. Smile.

Heights. Yeah. And I thought he would be able to fake it more, but I also, I'm like, Oh wow. I thought he was going to know all of our jokes. I honestly, cause he's an EP on it. So I thought he, and he wants to control things. Like I'm sure he's, he's going to deflate some of our jokes by looking at them and, you know, and making a more palatable for him to handle and hold. Um,

And, um, but he didn't. And he, he, cause even when, um, Jeff made the Robert Kraft joke about like alluding to the happy ending massages, he got up and was like, no, I didn't hear it happen, but I, I saw him get up. I didn't know what he said, but I was on Stern yesterday and he said that he was like, no, that's too far or something. And that was a real moment. Don't ever say that shit again. Yeah. That's what he said. Yikes. I would, cause Jeff, Jeff did sit back down and was like, did I cross? Like, was that cause he tried to handle it. Why on God's green earth would it be about that?

What do you mean? Why is he picking that thing?

Because I think Robert Kraft was a hard get to get in that room. And Tom probably vouched and said, they are not going to come after you. You cannot sit in the fucking within a mile radius. No, but that was that he should have communicated better because Jeff would have never, ever overset the line that Tom put down. And he would have made it like he wouldn't have ever. So that wasn't communicated clearly because Jeff was so like, it was like a throwaway conscious about it. Yeah, it was.

But he was offended, dude. I really do think that he didn't expect it. But I was checking in with Jeff beforehand and he was like, he's ready to go. He wants to do this full throttle. Let's go. No holds barred. Just not the kids. Like he can take it. And I go, Giselle. And you're like, yep, he can take it. I'm like, all right. And if you watch a Greg Giraldo roast compilation,

That's all you need to do to watch to know what you're in for. Like, it's going to be that level because we're all watching those and we're all striving for that level of... Of cringey. Of truth and harshness. And cleverness. Yeah, and so for him to ever be surprised at anything is just...

bad planning and you didn't, and you thought you were impervious to it or something. That's insane. Everything we know about Tom Brady as an athlete, his preparation is perfectionism. I mean, he would scream it. So there is a crazy as a Fox kind of vibe here. Oh yeah. I mean, studying him. Yeah. Well, he's very, he's more vulnerable. He's more human. They call him the human robot. He's about the sign or $375 million to be in the booth.

So these little asides and jokes, it's all been sort of said out loud in a vicious way. So I think it's a new day in town for him walking down the street because you kind of feel...

empathy for him. There was that joke. I think it was Kevin Hart. You went eight and nine and you lost your wife and kids. Yeah, it was worth going eight and nine for. Yeah, it was that too. But as far as primality, if you talk about the male psyche and the male ego and what, however that went down, we don't know. Yeah, but that's a very that that made me empathetic toward him. I agree. I think

I think he didn't think that angle of like losing your family would be brought in. Losing family is a rough term. It is. And the truth is he did it. Like he wasn't, he didn't abandon his kids. He's like a great father. I hope that...

he was able to just know that that's not true. And wouldn't you not want that out there? Just the people that casual viewer goes, Oh, he deserves kids. Now that's what I know about him. Like anyone who doesn't, we defined who he is now. You're so right there. This is opening up a world in which he might face more criticism. I do know he didn't go to the after party, you know, like I would go cry in the corner. You would have water, but you know, it's divorce with, with like a,

a total net worth between the two of them, about a half billions. And their kids are living online every day. They're 10 and 12 or something like that. So they're seeing all these jokes. I know. Brutal. But then, so this-

They're already acclimated. It's not out of the blue. Yeah, that's a good point. I mean... It's just their life. And that was when I said some savage joke about... I think the eating ass Giselle joke, which I was scared to even look towards him. But then I was just like, you're Tom Brady. I go, you'll be okay. I literally said that because I'm like, you will. And you did ask for this. And if you don't know how... It's interesting because I wonder...

I'm going on Kimmel layer today and my angle is like, oh, let me read some jokes about me that didn't make it. Like there's a writer's room and so many jokes that, you know, people didn't use about me because I wasn't, people thought, you know, there's more important people to talk about. I'll read those. And so those are coming in right now and I'm like, oh God. Like, and some of them are from my like close friends who were in that room. I'm like, you, you see this thing about me?

that I thought I only saw about myself. I'm having that moment, but I think that's, I feel like it's a good move because I was going to read roast jokes that didn't make it and just go harder on people. And I'm like, no, what if I go hard on myself and it kind of give myself that Tom Brady treatment that I just didn't.

I think that's a great, it's a great idea, but yeah, it is sort of like, you know, what are people perceiving about me that I don't see? It's so gross. Because you don't even like, they would never, like the things we said about Tom Brady, we wouldn't, he, you can't even tell him in a, you know, on a zoom meeting of like, here's the areas that we might go to. Like no one did that. No one even said, like,

Because there are things about me I know that I just already read coming in where I'm like, I really didn't know anyone thought that about me. I really thought that was just between me and the mirror when I'm alone. That's why you can't get roasted. I think I got asked to be roasted once and it's good money, but I thought I could never handle it. And that's why I never did it. And I only did it as a host. And in the host, you're in the crossfire. And I think some jokes about me got

traded because we got that last-minute addition, and it was too juicy, so everyone jumped on Ann Coulter. Oh, God, yeah. That's great. So she became the punchy girl. And later I was told, oh, you dodged a few bullets because people switched. I'm surprised you did that. I wasn't really friends with you back then, but knowing you now, I'm so glad you did. But it's brutal. It hurts so much. I'm glad that I kind of got...

brushed over but there was like one one or two jokes about me that afterwards at the after party i just was kind of a little bit like processing and being like wait why did he write like that was that a joke or was that from a real place and like yeah yeah it stays with you a little bit so it's you know but it's worth it because it's the exposure and then if brady's my friend he has he has a shirt on top and underneath he has a t-shirt

And at the end, he unbuttons it. And it's just all the topics that were covered. Giselle Trainor asks. So he just goes, knew it. Yes. Knew it. But yeah, I wouldn't want to do that. I mean, the early ones, the first one that was big, was it Chevy Chase?

One of the first on the Comedy Central and that one, because I don't think Chevy was ready for it. I really saw real pain and real wish I wasn't here. I think now people who do it, I mean, the next celebrity is going to do it. Come on, man.

You'd have to think of the fallows. You do. You have to know. You have to know or don't do it. No one is immune to it. But that's kind of like the person we want to get who thinks they're such hot shit that... There's nothing there. It's everyone. Everyone else can be looked at like that, but not me. And that kind of was maybe what Tom Brady was feeling. Yeah, that's a good one. But now he knows. Well, Nikki, would you rather be...

This is the problem I thought with the Chevy Chase one was Don Rickles and those guys in the old days, if people know, that was the fun roast. Dean Martin, Frank Sinatra, huge stars. And they were little folks. 1970s. You know, and they were fun folks. They're all friends. Chevy Chase, I think it was strangers, hired assassins. So a guy's like, hi, uh,

I'm, you know, whoever. By the way, you're a piece of shit. And now it's too mean because you're like, wait, who's this guy? And so is it worse from strangers or is it worse from your friends? If you were roasting me and it was too mean, I wouldn't even know how to look at you after. Yeah, I felt way worse roasting Jeff Ross and Bert Kreischer. Oh, right. You said he was disgusting. Yeah. I said he was disgusting to look at and I was going to...

lose that joke because I'm just it's so harsh and my friends were being like yeah it's not really you don't even say what he looks like you just say he's disgusting to look at and I go no but that's why it's funny it's just it's so that's the reason I like it it's intentional to be

Who did the sea lion reference? Like go back to the ocean. Oh, that was like the only woman you'll ever make wet is the one who helps roll you back into the ocean. That was your line, right? Yeah. Yeah. It's not a great line. It's just a great joke. And then I had to sit back down next to him and, um, and, and I do love him and I actually do think he looks better. Like he's looking good reason. I love Jeff Ross. And then to tell Bert, I like, Oh, I'm such a fan of your joke. Like,

I obviously, I told Burt later, you know I don't feel that way. And then, but yeah, I think it's, strangers, it's easier to be vicious because I don't know them. Like, I didn't even meet Tom before the roast, so it was way easier to be, to say sociopathic things to him because I didn't, he's just a person, he's just a person on a page to me. Like, he's not real. Isn't Jeff Frost kind of a ladies' man or, you know? Yeah, he does really, he does hot chicks. I met him once, yeah, very young, beautiful woman. Yeah.

He's charming and adorable. And yeah, it's, but it felt, it felt in the past. I wasn't close with Jeff or I guess it was five years ago that I did the last one. And this time I just, I felt a lot, I guess I'm growing as a person because I felt way worse this time around saying these jokes than I ever have. I really never even cared. You know, Tony Hinchcliffe did a good job coming from the crowd. I think coming from the crowd is a great trick.

A, no one expects anything from him. Most people don't know this. No bar. Yes. No bar. Walks out of the audience like, I don't even know what he's doing. And I'm a comedian. I'm like, is he coming on to introduce something? It was so cool. And then he just casually throws a line at someone. And people are like, who is he? Oh, that's kind of funny. Oh, that's pretty funny. And that's really good. Then he gets like Sam Jay and he does, nah, whatever that one was.

And then it was like, whoa, where did this guy come from? Bam, bam, bam, bam, bam. And then that king, king, king, king, king rhythm. Yeah, he was...

Great job. He was amazing. I was blown away. That was like such a moment for him. And yeah, to walk while you're doing it was just, yeah. The truth is the people who do the best on those are the ones that are just like working the hardest tone. Like I talking to people afterwards, it's like, what did you do to prepare this? And we were all just so exhausted. The ones, the people that really killed, uh,

Just tighten and tighten and start a month out and just say jokes and edit it. Thinking about it obsessively working with people all day long and then running it around town five times a night. I mean, I did five sets a night for like a week and a half. It's,

It's not even the same, too, because you're like, these people aren't on the dais. You're telling the crowd, picture Tom Brady right here. Picture, you know, Tom Segura's picture him over there. I would say so. And they're like, OK, it's not quite the same, but you can get a good feel. Yes. Yeah. And I have to explain to a room at the Laugh Factory at 11 p.m. at night, which is mostly Armenians who drew Bledsoe is like it.

So for this joke, you need to know he was injured on 2001. And that's what, you know, like it's exhausting to set it up. So it was fun to go out and do the roast set for the first time without being like, okay, guys, here's, I set the stage. But it's just such a weird set to do just. Right.

Right. Because Tom sitting there is a whole big changes everything. That's how many minutes did you do, by the way? I don't know how many it ended up being, but it was planned to be. It was count. It was in the clubs. It was seven. So at the forum, it was probably like eight, eight and a half with just the larger laughs. But there was like jokes I put in last minute of like wanting to shoot my boyfriend in the fucking face for a lottery ticket to suck his dick. Like that was insane. And I added that the day before. And that was like a high risk situation. Like there were some jokes. I was like, this isn't

even really tested. I don't know if this is going to, it's just, I'm so glad it's over. I mean, don't you guys have those things all the time where it's like so much pressure? Well, it's that kind of pressure. I did observe you. There was a wide shot as the show was starting. Oh, there's Nikki. And I thought I saw you go big sigh. Like,

Like just psyching up. You probably could see my side from a wide shot at the forum. You can see my body move. Maybe they're panning over. I just saw. And I thought that's exactly the frame of mind I would be in like, okay, here we go. It's also just be ha ha ha ha. We have a job to do. I'm, this is part of my career. This, this audience is enormous. You don't want to think about it because the way everything is stratified, this is still playing on Netflix. It's trending for months. So there was, you wanted to go. I,

this isn't important. I'm just roasting that. Fuck it. But then side, you go, no, this is kind of the biggest thing I'll ever do. It's the Superbowl of comedy. Like the amount of, I will never, literally I'll never have a moment in my career. Like I had yesterday, the day after the roast, there's nothing I can do as a comedian hosting SNL announcing. I just had a baby marriage. Maybe if I like start dating Taylor Swift, that's the only amount of texts I will get. Like this is the scale of this is unprecedented for a comedian. Like my special will come out. I won't even get this many texts.

it won't ever happen again like this. And so, yeah, I, but I kind of had a feeling about that. So you can't, there's other opportunities that I've gone, wow, I didn't work hard enough. I didn't understand the scale of that and I fucking phoned it in and I'll never do that again. But this, I just had a feeling this is going to be pretty big. So you've got to work hard. You know, Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program. Oh yeah. If you want to learn a new language, which no time like the present, it's always fun to learn when you get older.

I know. And it's not learning a language when you're older, you know, over the age of 20 is difficult. You know, I mean, all the high school Spanish I took a grade school Spanish, you know, all I can say is Ola and hasta luego. So it goes out of your head. So now you have Rosetta stone, David, tell them about it. Well, Dana, you know, more than anyone trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users in 25 languages. Uh, I mean, my gosh, uh,

They have Spanish, French, Italian, German. I don't think you can throw them a curveball. I think they're going to know. What don't they have? The language you want. Yeah. And immerses you in many ways. There's no English translations. You know what I'm saying?

I know no English. You need a Rosetta Stone for English. No English translation, so you really learn to speak and listen and think in that language. That's the whole idea of Rosetta Stone is that it sticks to your head. It sticks to your brain. I learned German out of a book. It just doesn't stick as hard, so this is the way to do it. Designed for long-term retention.

There's a true accent feature. It gives you feedback on your pronunciation. Yes. And of course, there's desktop app options. There's an audio companion and ability to download lessons offline. Yeah, so that's great. Lifetime access to all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off. A steal! And I do think that the off-label thing that... I'm ad-libbing now, going off script.

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At Robert Half, we know talent. Visit roberthalf.com today. You know, Dana, I think we have a connection. We've been friends for a long time. And for this episode of Fly on the Wall, we've partnered with eHarmony, which isn't us. eHarmony is a dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. We are not dating. I want to clarify that. But the connection is what you want in a dating partner. Yeah.

Just someone like, if you found someone that listened to this podcast, that's somewhat of a connection. And then you sort of build on that. You want someone with some common ground. Yeah. It's not, it, look, if you want to connect romantically over, you know, super fly or fly on the wall, uh,

It just makes us happy. You don't want to be watching The Godfather and the person next to you goes, this movie sucks. So dumb. Yeah. You want to connect on all issues and harmonize in life. Similar sensibility, similar sense of humor, and similar sense of sense. I don't like when they watch The Godfather and they're like, everyone in this movie is so old. I'm like, they're 40.

Watch 2001 Space Odyssey. Too much of this movie is in outer space. I don't like it. When do they land? When do they land? Why is that stupid red light acting so silly? Who's friends with a robot? We know dating isn't easy. That's why we partnered with eHarmony because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find someone who gets you, someone you can be comfortable with.

Yeah. I mean, the whole idea is you're going to take a compatibility quiz, helps your personality come out in your profile, which makes all the profiles on eHarmony way more interesting and fun to read. So I think this is the goal of dating sites, and I think eHarmony does it great. It's just finding somebody you're compatible with.

So get started today with a compatibility quiz. So you can find some and you can be yourself with. Get Who Gets You on eHarmony. Sign up today. What was an opportunity where you felt you phoned it in? I'm just curious. Oh, well, recently I presented at the Creative Arts Emmys that was going to be airing on FXX. So I was just like, I...

I had a lot to do that week. And I was like, I'll just do whatever they write for me and punch it up. And I should have had my own angle. John Mulaney won. I'm presenting it to him. And like the thing I did for that was just so not fun. Like it, I totally blew it, totally blew it. And I'm like, oh man, this would have, this is a room of all like the people in the industry. Like I squandered it and I go, okay, lesson that I learned 20 years in, I shouldn't have learned this this late, but never like,

Treat these things, treat everything at least as try the best you did because you didn't do the best you could do. Are comedians more disciplined now? Because I mean, no, there was always Jerry Seinfeld, at least for me in the clubs and he was super disciplined, but a lot of really good comics would get it.

a set, which is maybe like 30, and then they would do crowd work. And they would just develop a drinking problem and they would go out across the country. And then you'd see them five years later, it's the exact same set. And then we're meeting John Mulaney and Jim Gaffigan and you and Jerry Seinfeld and learning about this idea of treating it like a college essay, like every line and

And then going into the club night after night. I don't know. People did that back then. The successful ones did. Yeah. There's a component to being funny that is like...

just how hard you work. Like you can, we all think it's just, it just natural. And, and, and by it, it is, that's what gets you into it. But yeah, you can be so much funnier by doing things that aren't funny at all and are just really just focusing. But I mean, those guys that you listed, like,

I don't work like that on my standup. I've after this roast, I was like, man, if I worked this hard on my, let's sort of, you know, at this level that I worked at, I didn't, I did for my special that is out on HBO now, but it's like, I didn't give enough time. I worked probably about two months on an hour set, uh,

And this, I worked for a month on six minutes. So for the next hour, I have to work 10 months ahead of time to get this kind of precision. And that's what I learned from this is like, it's, it takes, it takes a month to get up to the six minutes. And that's going to the club, recording, listening to it and changing. And having a script and working with a writer's assistant who's keeping track of, wait, you said this thing on stage, like who's in the room, jotting things down. Cause I don't like listening back to myself. So I just,

For my special, I hired someone to come on the road with me and keep track of what I was saying on stage riffing. That would be funny. I've never heard that, but that's brilliant. I just was like, why am I not treating my specials like I would treat if I was a host of a show? Yeah, or a movie. I need help. I want people to punch this up to make it funnier. This doesn't...

have to be this solo endeavor that I've always thought standup is that I like about standup because it's about control. And I can say, I did this. No, I didn't have any help. I can take all the credit. Um, but it's so much better if you have help and it's the, and you can take credit because it's the smart way to approach it. It's a good way to do it because you're the character. So if someone writes a joke for you, we know kind of what your style is. I think Kevin Hart, a few years back, I was impressed that he'd go to flappers. Yeah. He'd have just

bare ideas, kind of rough ideas. He'd have four or five writers in the room, even though it was packed 200 seats and he would just do it. And then they would sort of yell out and it goes, what was that thing again? And then he would do it again. Then they would go in the little room. They'd have that rented out for the night. And they compare notes between shows, do this, do this, do this. So there are ways to treat it. So it will move faster. It doesn't have to take two years to get, say you need what we had.

Dave, Dave Attell did 35 of standup and five of, and it was great. I loved his special. God, we did too. Nikki, you know, the, uh, I think when I rub low roast, it was just a hair early. Cause when you guys get the benefit of Tik TOK, I wish we had Tik TOK Instagram. There's so many things getting passed on after the roast that I don't think we got back then. It was just like, did you see it? Oh, it'll rerun soon. Um,

You can watch it in like another month, but a it's live. So it makes it more of a, it's a great idea from Ted and B it gets passed around. So you're going to see it somehow. You're going to see your set, Tony, whoever, whoever Tom's best joke about the fucking give me 20 million. I'll, I'll admit I did it or whatever. That was great. Great. Great. Yes.

Yeah, but I've even seen our old clips are being re-closed. Oh, because of its roast? They're coming out. Like, I just saw... No, like, even leading up, their roast clips are just so sticky online. And I've seen a couple of yours, like, they're taking them from now. And, like, I'm getting a boost online.

I'm seeing boosts from like old roasts of just people regenerating that stuff. But yeah, I mean the scale of this, it was everywhere yesterday. It was comedy central is not Netflix. Unfortunately. Yeah. Even I did a special on there and it didn't get seen as much as Netflix. Did your comedy central compare to Netflix?

I mean, yeah. Or HBO. Yeah, HBO. HBO's not global, which is fine because it's about, okay, you might not be able to tour internationally. I'm okay. The Congo.

Yeah, because, you know, I'll go there if they want me. I'll do any I'll go anywhere. I'll take any gig. So I'm kind of glad that and I don't like traveling internationally. I get stressed out by customs. So I'm kind of like, OK, I'm good not going. And HBO has a, you know, a classiness to it that I really like. And they're really selective. So but yeah, there's definitely a difference.

My Comedy Central and Dana couldn't even find. Honestly, no joke. I was like, Dana, check it out. He's like, I got to get online and then I got to join. I couldn't find it. You can find it on YouTube, I think. But that's why that's but that's almost good, though, because that's why when we're in Vegas, I'm like on, you know, at the Venetian. Oh, yeah. We're at the Venetian.

So you two play the Venetian on a regular basis. And what's your next gig? I think it's July. We got July. We got September. July's a little hot. They had me play there. It was 117 the weekend I was there. I think this is the last July Vegas is going to be functional.

What does that mean? Just in terms of climate change. Like it's, we're getting, it's getting dicey. So this is one of the last summers, I think, that town will be inhabitable. But actually it's kind of all indoors at this point. And we'll be there. Yeah, and we'll be there. But still the crowd is wilted. That's a problem. Yeah, they've been out in the sun. But it's such a fun show. But that's why I'm always like, Dave, will you just do bits from that comedy set? Like, I know them. And you can because no one saw it. And I feel the same way about some stuff.

in the past. And I hate it because you go, God, I did it and I technically am not supposed to use them but I'm like, but you can again. I worked so hard on it and then I'm like, and who saw it? And then you do one in anywhere else and you go, oh, these people saw it. Yeah, yeah. And it feels like I did it. But you know what? But with your, you have the kind of jokes that you want to hear again and again. There's like only a handful of comedians who,

You want same with you, Dana, like this, that you want to see bits again, like the it's, it's not just the element of surprise that makes it funny. I think a lot of my jokes are like, it's, oh, it's that twist afraid, turn a phrase at the end. And once you hear it, it's like the, you know, the rabbits out of the hat. But for you guys, I think I want to hear stuff over and over.

Well, I don't know. Last time you saw me, I didn't have anything. I just had bare notes. Oh, my God. You were so funny last time. It was a treat. I'm just doing, you know, I kind of am a sketch player at a heart. So then if I do say Paul McCartney and the audience is hot.

I'll just keep going. Yeah. But I was interested in you guys on the road. So who do you flip a coin? Who closes? Who? Oh, Dave closes. I don't want to touch that. He's because he's David Spade. Yeah. He's fucking David Spade. He's my favorite comedian. I like I start sounding like him by the end of the week. Like that's the joy of working with him is like I absorb him.

his funniness a little bit and I can spin it... I totally steal his cadence. Not even intentionally. It's like when Madonna starts sounding British. You just hang out enough and you just can't help but be funnier around him. And then I get to...

You know, when you're on the road, you just like, after you get off stage, I have to go do a meet and greet and I'm kind of alone. But this, after I get off stage, I just get to go watch my favorite comedian and like, they're doing stuff that I requested. Like, I get to put in requests. And it's so fun. Then I look at Nikki and mention her half the time. Yeah.

Yeah. And he likes a joke. I look over and go, it's so fun. Um, and we got to dinner beforehand and, um, it's just a great weekend. It makes it a weekend. I look forward to saying do it about four or five times a year. When you're solo on the road, really solo. Um, yeah, it's a little lonely. You're in the day of the hotel is so long. And what do I do? So if you do have another person there, the whole energy, you come out,

I remember playing, there was playing a big casino with Dennis and it was starting at eight. And it's one of those things where they come in later, but we, we, we picked out the curtain and all the chairs were empty. It was like seven 58. And he goes, Christ, thanks. Carvey. And we three dog night, all this. Yeah.

It's like, so Dennis, then they rush in, they're finishing their drinks and they rush in and we were okay. But at that moment, you know, we got to let Nikki go. What's your first line? You sit down your first joke. Uh,

I'll probably thank him for sending me an email because that'll get us into some areas. And I really do want to thank him because he wrote me a really nice email when he didn't need to, and he's a busy man. So I'll probably do that. Ingratiate myself. Ingratiation. Good. Maybe talk about my spray tan, something. I don't know. I always comment on just try to get it, kick it off. Whatever's going on to settle in. Just settle in. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Make a joke about how I'm trying to dress like dually, but like the outfit I'm wearing, I just, I'm who do I think I am? Something like that. Love it. Okay. I'm going to set my VCR. I watched you last night spade on a Kimmel. Um, I guess you were on like a month ago or something, something like that. And I watched your set to like be inspired because you are always so great on those. And I watched you before Howard too. I did Howard yesterday and I was like,

what's the vibe I want to go into with Howard? Like my ideal Howard is a spade Howard. And I didn't nail that, but I definitely listened to you beforehand to like get in the right state of mind. So all those take work. The talk shows you got to, those are things you got to plan out a little bit. Absolutely. You got to, you can't just flounder and just go, I'm so interesting. You're like, nope, you got to have a plan and learn that the hard way as well. Won't do that again. I'll just leave it at this as the business side of it.

My head, my final comment is that you're still penetrating the market, not a sexual pun. And you're, you're growing your brand. And I do think this special coupled with the roast and the spot you were in and how you killed. So it's just kind of cool. You are like a, your own company and it's just doing very well. I just want to say that. That means so much to me. And like, just, uh, yeah, the fact that I know both of you is true. I said it on tiger belly yesterday is, um,

is an achievement of my career is like getting to know, um, well, you were my favorite. David told you that because David, he would go to dinners and stuff and people would visit. And then you were always the easiest person to go to dinner with you once. And then we had such a great talk. And then, yeah, I felt like I like was friends with you afterwards. It just took one dinner and it was, it was amazing. That was one of the best nights of my life. Like it was so cool. I'd love to do it again. I would too. It felt like it today. Thank you guys for having me. Well,

Pleasure. Bye, sweetheart. Enjoy yourself. Bye. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all this stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts. Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.