Justin Theroux
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's because they're naked. Well, it's like the 1800 time you say on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there. I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it.

Da-da, da-da, da-da-da. Justin Theroux. He looks a little like James Bond. He could pull that off. He's like a cool, slick dude. He has a really cool fashion sense. He just has a... He's just cool. He is...

unintentionally enigmatic like he's just been around all these great things but he doesn't he's not at every premiere you know or anything he just keeps kind of a low profile low thirst level he's not out there as cool friends i think when i was out there about two summers ago we went for a walk in washington park to see everyone on drugs in the summer and uh

I think Gigi Hadid had a birthday party that night he was going to. He's like, oh, you wouldn't want to go, but there's this big birthday party. I go, yeah, that would be horrible. I think I'll just go to Chili's with my friends. Did you go? Dana, I don't jump when you say frog. Do you understand? I'm very unpredictable. Well, Gigi Hadid called me. Oh. What's up with space? Why, were you there? No, I don't go anywhere. I'm a shut-in. You know that. Anyway, I cornrowed my hair for no reason. I didn't go. I just went to Outback.

But Justin Theroux, Ben Stiller told me, because we're friends, that he's kind of the man behind the scenes that's influenced a lot of comedy in the last 25 years. And especially Tropic Thunder, which to me is probably the most brilliant, along with Hangover and...

And Will Ferrell, Anchorman. Those are the meat of three temples in the last 20 years. And since the knots into the teens. Those are the ones. So we break down Tropic Thunder and talk about how it's problematic in 2023 and whether it should be or not. And Mel Brooks and movies. And that was really interesting. I wanted to ask him about, you know, I met him. We didn't talk about this. I think I met him at Jennifer's when we were watching.

We'd watch The Bachelor and do goofy stuff like that. But I think he was there and I think they were just about to get married. And I wanted to take him off guard at the beginning and go, okay, here we go. Justin Theroux, first question. What are your thoughts on Jennifer Aniston? You have one hour. What a great beginning to make a move. Wait, this isn't gonna be about that. But he did get pop rods a lot. That's a hassle. We didn't even get an L. That's just my thoughts on it.

It's always hard to be in a situation like that. And then they're always up Jennifer's ass and she's very good about it, but man, she gets hounded out there. Well, the line in the sand for me is like, say you go out and you're a celebrity and maybe it's at the restaurant, this and there, but at your house, they're outside the gate or wherever it is, 24-7. Wherever you go, they just follow. That is a gilded cage. That's a tough one. Yeah. I mean, I fought through them to get over to your place today. I dream about having it. Anyway,

This is Justin. He's at White House Plumbers. White House Plumbers with Woody Harrelson. We talk about their friendship and that movie and him playing G. Gordon Liddy. That's out now. Well, here he is, Justin. And you'll get to know him. I just choked and almost died. Nobody cares. No one rushed me to save me. These fucking people. You're off the charts with energy today. I am? Yeah. That's because I had chia pudding.

Popeye and some bike in it. You know, my first stand-up bit was Popeye getting kicked in the groin. Oh. That's Popeye getting kicked in the nuts. Did you say groin or nuts? Groin. No, crotch, I think. This is me in college. Here's my, I'll do one of mine. Here's my first joke. I got a new car. Well, it's not really new. It's an old UPS truck. I got it so I can park wherever I want. So you could whatever you want? Park wherever I want to.

Because UPS trucks used to just park. Oh, yeah. Like Amazon. I can't walk you through all of them, guys. That was a 10 out of 10. That is not in your current set. No, it might come back. I just wanted to. Best of. Welcome. Welcome to the podcast. Ladies and gentlemen, our guest today. You are. He's a real. Let me tell you something. First of all, Dana, to get get off on the right foot.

This is not some sort of puff piece like Smartless. Oh, yeah. Your precious, precious Smartless. This guy's gone about once a week and just tear me to shreds. And I'm like...

And I saw Jason Bateman a couple nights ago and I said, it's a really terrible feeling because you can't, I can't punch back. You know, like there's no, I can't, they're on the air. They got the fucking bandwidth. You know, they got three against one. Jason, Jason wasn't even at dinner. I don't know what happened. Hey, I was there very early. I could have gone, hey, come on, you guys. I just, that was a horrible Sean Hayes. No, they're very nice. They're great. Yeah.

Justin, remember when I was on? Remember, I'm sure you watched it a hundred times. He said, I saw Spade. And then he doesn't say where he goes. We were at both at a seafood restaurant. And he talks about, I go, do you mean Koi?

And he goes, yeah. And I go, isn't that a sushi? Who the fuck calls it a seafood? It's one of my favorite. I laughed so hard at that. It is a seafood. Now whenever people are like, what should we get? I'm like, let's go get seafood, Japanese seafood. It's hard to, you got to identify what the restaurant is. So how, what's up today, man? What are you, how are you? I'm good. I'm in New York City. I speak to Sean Hayes, just saw his play the other night, which was fabulous. Good night, Oscar. Oh,

It's so good. I'm plugging him now. Who's in it? Who's in Goodnight Oscar? What's the storyline? It's about Oscar Levant, a sort of famous pianist, humorist, and raconteur. And it sort of takes place on the evening that he has to appear on a Jack Parr show.

The best play I ever saw. On the Jack Farr show? I'm not a theaterite, but my wife, I mentioned her twice now, fall in love with the theater in recent times, now that we're old. But we saw The Freeman in London, and it blew my mind as a play. You know, theater is one of those things, there's nothing better when you see a good play, and there's also nothing worse than when you're watching a bad one. And so it always makes you feel like there's...

You're spinning a gun with, you know, two bullets in the chamber. You know, you think, oh God. Now, when you, when you go, when you go last night or whenever to see Sean and you know ahead, it's probably going to be horrible. Do you do any prep work? No, I, I, no, I, well, I was a big group going, you know, like the smart list guys all went, obviously it was an opening night. It was a big fanfare. Um,

And, you know, it was like a real who's who of people and of funny people too. I did see that. I just saw you on that and I was looking and I know that Smartless has a, Dana, they redid a Hummer and they put Smartless all over it and they drive that around the country. So to let them know, they go, it's the three guys and they pop out like the tank out of the top. They are the cool kids. And if it was high school, if life is high school, they are definitely the cool kids at Chimney Corners.

They're great though. Whatever that chemistry is, is very funny, which I would also argue you guys have as well on your podcast. They're very, thank you. Very likable and smart. I just watched Justin in the Watergate show. It's called what, Justin? It's called the White House Plumbers. White House Plumbers, yep, close enough.

And he's on that and it's going to be on what? HBO. May 1st. We're just getting right to the plug. No, I'm just going to say this because I just saw it and you look a lot like the guy in it that plays G. Gordon Letty. And I watched one last night and I started one this morning. So I got a feel. I don't know where it goes, but I would say it looked like A, a lot of fun. B, it looks super fucking cool. It looks shot cool.

And who is the director on that? Is it Dave Mandel? Dave Mandel from Veep fame. SNL writer. Yeah. Old SNL writer. That Dave Mandel? Yeah. That Dave Mandel. Dave Mandel from Veep? Yeah. And SNL? Holy shit, Dave. Did you swap the cameo within the first two minutes of White House Plumbers? Was he come into your office or Woody's office? He comes into Woody's office. Yeah. Yeah.

Which is P.S. Jim Downey is who we're talking about. He does a, he was sweet enough to come in and do a cameo. And, and we all got to bend his ear about early SNL days. Oh, he is the greatest talker ever. So much fun. You could just sit there and listen to him. You know, I mean, I'm sure to you guys, he was sort of, I guess, more intimidating, but, you know, when some, you know, that the thing when someone's, I guess, kind of your, was he your boss or no? I mean, he's a writer. No, he was head writer when I first got there.

And that's not really Dana's boss. That's my boss. Wasn't, but, uh, I was, I was more, I was scared of Lauren in a way, like most people are. Jim was pretty, he was, he was pretty approachable, but I'd be more nervous about him now. But yeah, he, when he came on our podcast, he called me the day before and I was driving. We talked for an hour and a half and I said, you've just done the podcast. Now we have to do it tomorrow because he, no one could talk like him. But, um,

Yeah, I just wanted to overall, it's just researching you. You're like, you kind of do everything. You're very light on your feet. You do a lot of voices. You do a lot of characters. You do a lot of comedy. You do a lot of drama.

I don't even, I just want you to comment on that. I don't want to go like, was this your career plan? But you do do a lot of stuff, Jason. I do a lot of stuff. Tripping upstairs. I mean, obviously lucky to a large extent, but I kind of,

I don't know. I, I, I owe a lot of it to sort of just having a short attention span and that I can't, when I do one thing for too long, I get kind of bored and I think, oh, I don't want to do that again, or I don't want to do this again. Um, and then I just sort of, and I'm, I guess, patient enough that I can, I can go without doing something if I don't, if there's nothing, I really, that's perking my interest, you know? Um,

So I'm not one of those people that feels like, oh, I have to be working all the time just to be doing something. So I'll go for stretches without work, but sometimes cooking something up in the lab, writing something, or I'll do just sort of an animated thing. I don't know. It's weird. It's been a very bizarre kind of, I guess, career, but it's sort of just...

It sort of has... Well, it's a little bit. If the word gets out, kind of like, what can't he do? Well, could he write our script? Yeah. Could he direct? Sure. Will he produce? Maybe. Can he play an Irishman with a good accent? Can he... It's debatable. Can he write Tropic Thunder and then be in a Mulholland Drive or whatever, David Lynch film? So it is like, it's hard to pin you down. It's great not to be pinned down. I think it's the best kind of career ever. I think that's...

And it leads to some more interesting choices sometimes to kind of not be able to be typecast in certain or just seen in certain ways, you know, in certain lights, I guess. That's a gift though, because there's very like, even in the comedy world, some people go, oh, why didn't you do that comedy movie? I go, first of all, if they want a comedian, they start with these top five, no matter if they're right for the script or not, they just go out to them. And then after that,

If they want this kind of comedy, they go to me. If they want this 2% different from that kind, they go, because people go, oh, you should do stuff like Sandler. But that's a gift. You're doing a lot of different things and that's not always up to the actor. Yeah. I mean, it's gotten better. I mean, as we all know, like, you know, when you first start out,

you're you'll take anything you know it's like you just need to you need to be seeing how things are made and you know so i started out and i did like i was an extra on like maybe the worst soap opera in new york's history you know like and a lot of people do that you know you get the extra work now it was a half hour soap called um loving good call i remember loving do you it was kind of like a younger soap it wasn't like you know sort of must see

But it was, and I was an extra on it. And then they gave me, I played a drug dealer and they gave me a couple lines. But it was really, you know, that was more just, and it's also hilarious because, you know, those soaps are usually written by, you know, guys who are much older and, you know, they're trying to write like cool drug lingo. So I had like lines that were like, yeah.

You know, like, oh, let's give him this stuff and he'll get a really good buzz on. You know, like. You got the scratch and the lettuce. You know, whatever. So it's like no drug dealer in the world speaks like that. It was funny. I was actually doing it with this other actor. I learned a big lesson. We thought, oh, this is so terrible. So let's kind of send it up and make it.

you know, like let's just, so that when we watch it, you know, a week later when it airs, you know, we can all have a giggle. And so we sort of did it sort of bad, you know, like, like, Hey, this stuff's going to get you higher than a kite. Like this stuff's really good, you know, blah, blah, blah, blah. Then we went and we watched it like a week later and it,

we were mortified because the writing didn't look bad. It's like the other actors didn't look bad. We looked fucking terrible. And it was because we weren't understanding the medium of it. It's like, if you're going to try and be funny, do it in the medium that you're supposed to be funny in, not on a daytime soap opera. You know what I mean? It's like, no one's going to think that it's a sketch show, you know? So. You never know what they're going to like though. Sometimes like, Oh, you guys are awesome or get out. I mean,

Were you ever fired summarily from a show? I luckily have not been fired. Just immediately showing up. How many times have you been fired is the real question. I've never been fired. I've been fired, you know, really fired. Dana's always getting fired. What does that look like? There's a lot of firings going on on.

Well, I was surprised they let me get in the costume and go in the fake helicopter with James Farentino. And then they said, hey, come down here. And a hundred crew. And this is in the eighties. And they said, yeah, we're going to let you go. So I had to walk in front of everyone. No. Like the old TV show. Shame. Shame. Oh my God. I've been on shows that are things that people have been fired off of. And it's always kind of like.

to call them afterwards and be like, hey, that was fucking not cool, man. That was fucking- You always have to take their side. What the fuck was that? It was nuts. Even though you were the one lobbying to get them off. Even though you were horrible. You fucking- Well, James Ferentino was high as a kite, literally coked up in straight vodka. We were up in the fake chopper and he had a smile when they started approaching the chopper. So I kind of felt like, I think Jimmy kind of said, I think the kid's got to go.

But I sucked. I sucked and I was so happy to get out of there. I did it to make money and that's never a good reason. It's always the worst decision when you think like, this is smart for my career or this will be good money. Like it's every time I've done that, I'd make a terrible, I usually...

Can you share when you might have done that? No, I mean, it's because you don't want to appear ungrateful, you know, because you're also, you know, you're also happy to be working sometimes, you know, but it usually doesn't pan out. If I have learned that lesson, which is, you know, it has to have, I have to be

be wanting to lean into it creatively, you know, and find it enjoyable. It seems like if you, have you been through a period or is this sort of so-called the most offers you're getting right now? Or was there periods hotter? It seems like you just have this very even trajectory. I just kind of have, I just kind of bump along, you know, like I don't, I don't, in a good way, I don't think I've ever had that like,

overnight anything, you know, like there's, there's no been like, there's no moment where I've ever been like hotter than ever. It's just kind of like, I've just been sort of slow and steady trying to win the race. You know, I've been obviously a lot of friends of mine and, you know, have had that thing where all of a sudden Hollywood's wand taps them on the head. And the next day they're fucking everywhere. And you think, Holy shit. And I can't even, I don't think my, my nervous system would be able to handle that kind of a thing.

You know what I mean? I see you have a trophy. Look at Dana. He's got a trophy behind him. What do you think that's for? What? Boxing? Yeah. That's boxing? I can't see. Cheerleading. Oh, cheerleading. Pretty close, David. I'm not. Oh, last place. Last place. No way. I won't say you're a hoarder, but you have a lot of stuff going on in this game. It's just in my office. If I put the camera around, it wouldn't look.

This terrible If my I'm a complete mess I'm just at a room somewhere That's nice and tidy Can I ask you Just for a second Cause one thing is about Your physicality Like you can really Look good You and David Have that in common You can look good With your shirt off And then I heard You were a breakdancer And my son was a breakdancer So he had a few questions For you So when you were 10 How many years Did you do it?

Like a couple of years or? I did it. I was really young and I did it. I really loved hip hop and I really loved break dancing and I did it. I want to say for, I mean, you never stop really, do you? But I was probably hardcore into it for like two or three years, maybe. Okay. I have such an appreciation for it. I mean, it really is floor gymnastics, power moves. It teaches you how to use your whole body. It's, it's,

He asked, were you more of a top rock or a footwork guy? I was a pretty decent popper, so sort of popping and locking. And then I was good at floor work. I could definitely backspin, headspin, headspins a little, and then I could windmill. I attempted a windmill like a year ago, and boy, did that not go well. Even to just do a little...

floor work is really exhausting. What's a freeze? What was your best freeze? Yeah. Oh, I could do a freeze up, you know, on, you know, sort of up on my, you know, with legs up, you know, sort of. Legs up, you hold it. Yeah. Is that what it is? You spin and stop? It's hard to describe breakdancing on a podcast. Yeah. I would freeze in a position where my cheek was on the floor, my arms were sort of up like this and then my legs were sort of

bent. You're just holding a pose on the floor that takes a lot of strength. And did you have a crew name? Yeah, Sergeant Pop and the Bionic Breakers.

Sergeant Pop and the Bionic Breakers. Bionic Breakers. I think I read for that. I thought that was a sitcom. That's all I got. But I do think that physicality stays with you, you know. I mean, I was a runner in high school, distance runner, and I still like to get that feeling of working really hard cardiovascularly. Have you tried sprinting recently? Because

Cause that's hard. Recently. Um, I still could make a case. I don't know if they do it with CGI, but I would say Tom Cruise sprinting and mission impossible in his mid fifties, uh,

That's a lot of good stuff going on. If that's real, his hip flexors, a lot of stuff has to be working to sprint after 50. I had this sort of delusional and still kind of do, although I'm snapping out of it a little bit, this sort of delusional when I'd watch like sports, like the Olympics, for example, like someone on like those rings, what are they called? Or the pomfers. I would sort of always watch and go like, I could do that.

I mean, like if I was like set up in an ideal situation, training camp diet, all the rest of it, I could do that. And then, you know, like, or, or like swimming, I'd be like, I could do that. You know what I mean? Or football or baseball. You know, I just, I had this like in my head, like, I know that I bet I could do that. You know, I did gymnastics in high school and I did the horse. I did the rings and I really, I didn't know. And I did.

The parallel bars. Oh, yeah. Why do you think I'm such a fucking piece of machinery? Could you do the Iron Cross? Could you do the Iron Cross on the rings? Well, Dana, that's the fake thing they do with CGI. I just wanted to get context. I could do where I'm on my, like an L sit on the ground. Not a V, but an L. You know, you're on your fingertips, stick your legs out. I could do a...

I do. I was best on the parallel bars and then, um, pommel horse was tougher. Could you do that thing on the pommel horse where, you know, you sort of go like dead bump at legs? Yeah. Cause I was all obviously upper body strength, but my, um,

legs were puny and weak. And then I also did, what was it? Oh, the parallel bars I did the best on. The, the rings are very hard because you have to sort of dislocate when you flip around and it's very hard to do the first one. You gotta trust that you're going to ruin your shoulders for life.

And then dated my coach. No, I have a quick question about your break dancing, which I'm just going to the phones. The question is, do you carry a slab of...

We did. Yeah, we did. I was cool. That's a must. That, and I remember, here's what I remember my breakdancing days. We always had a slab of cardboard with sort of duct tape together. Cause you have to, you know, you try and find like something like a refrigerator cardboard thing. And then I remember,

walking around endlessly with a huge radio and the enormous amount of money it would cost to buy those fucking D batteries. Oh, the batteries get fucked up. You know, that went in the back. Oh, yeah. They take like 40. Yeah. And you got to go get a pack and it's like so much money. And then you play it for like two hours and all of a sudden the tape starts slowing down when the batteries go like... I said I hear pop. Yeah. Yeah.

Jumpstart. You don't stop. I know that whole song. Yeah. So anyway, can we talk about for a few minutes about how you became who you are, like your childhood, just a little bit. Cause I don't know where you came from. I know your mom was actually, um, um, a bit, well, no, it wasn't a big part of my, I got, I don't even know where to begin. I, I got arrested when I was a real kid for vandalizing cars. And I, um,

Um, and part of my sentence, uh, cause they obviously can't send a 12 year old or 13 year old to the flammer. Um, my sentence was that I had to do this summer program in Washington, DC, which was break dancing. Um, so you were sentenced to break sentence, sentence to a lifetime of dance, you know?

Um, but no, it was like, it was like a weird thing. I did these like summer programs. Like, I mean, I felt like I was always in like some summer program for summer school or summer. Were you in trouble more? Was that a one-off or were you kind of in trouble with the law a little bit? I was a juvenile delinquent too for a while, but not. I wasn't like a juvenile delinquent, like, you know, like any high criminal activity. It was more just kind of, um,

I was extremely hyperactive and unfocused. So that would always inevitably lead to trouble. Like I would just do things impulsively like a lot of young boys do, um, where you just do something stupid. You know, like I remember I threw a rock through a cab window once, like, I mean, but it wasn't, it was, wasn't like, I was like, I'm going to fucking throw this rock through a cabin. It was like,

oh, there's a rock. Now I'm holding the rock. What would happen if I threw this? And before that thought had finished, it was already through a window. You know what I mean? Like it was that kind of hyperactivity, I guess. Impulse control. I guess a boy's brain. ADD used to be called ants in your pants. Ants in your pants. Yeah. So that was the diagnosis back then. I'm a nibbler, Dana. And I think you are too, but you always know me that I just have to keep the energy going. Um,

And I think because I learned from my dad, pistachios are a good source of just, you know, nibble, wake you up. They're always delicious. I actually named a character in a movie I did called Master of Disguise. The lead character's name is pistachio. That's how much I love pistachios. Ooh. Yeah. Well, wonderful pistachios have literally come out of their shells. It's the same taste. It's delicious, but-

It's a lot less work. As you know, cracking them open can be a little bit of a job. Less cracking, more snacking is what I say. That's what I say. That's what you say. And I'm going to use that when my wife goes to the store. Wonderful pistachios. No shells. Flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors, including chili roasted. Honey roasted. Mm-hmm.

Salt, sea salt, vinegar, smoky barbecue. Sea salt and pepper is one I like the most. And I'm going to try this jalapeno lime. They don't have a red, red necky flavor just yet. Yeah. Look at him there. Red, red necky loves pistachios. I like to crack things open and put them in my mouth.

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My mom was a writer. He was a lawyer. He was a Vietnam veteran and then went into law when he got back. And my mom was a writer for the Washington Post, a columnist or an essayist, I should say, for both the Washington Post and the New York Times. Was she writing during Watergate? She wasn't. She started writing in the 80s, you know, but she did take me into the, you know, that big sort of

enormous, you know, that was famous from all the presidents, man, that big war room. She was in one of those floors. Oh, those are cool. Yeah. This is when I was really little. She would, yeah. She like stuffed me under the desk and it was 6 trillion ball typewriters and, you know, amounts of cigarette smoking.

So another thing that Flynn Filler told me, I can't remember his real name, that you're a great illustrator and I know you studied visual arts and stuff. Just another kind of thing you can do. So when did that start? It started when I was really little. I loved drawing. So I ended up going to college for both visual art and drama. So I graduated as a double major. And

And when I got to New York, I actually was doing better with the visual arts stuff. Like, meaning like I wasn't doing like, you know, I wasn't like a painter and the, you know, I wasn't like doing landscapes or anything. I would do like big sort of murals, graffiti type stuff. I worked in a bunch of clubs and, you know,

you know i would do graffiti wall and nice did you ever yeah are you like basquiat then sort of like and yeah it was more sort of like an anime sort of graffiti style sort of a hip-hop blah blah blah you know like phil hartman had that i know i've read that he was designed album covers and stuff yeah yeah so it's weird yeah i know yeah you did all time faves logo what's that

Ben Stiller's production company. Oh, yeah, I did. It's right at Argo. At one point. I just jump in with some nonsense and everyone goes, what? Well, I know. It's so cool. I mean, do you still, they would call it in the old days, doodle, just when you're talking or trying to come up with something. Do you do little drawings and stuff? I'll do little sketches in the margins or something. Yeah.

Or of something if I'm reading. But I also just sort of keep a loose sketchbook. I don't do it that much, but I do like to occasionally when I remind myself if I'm not working, I'll just be like, oh yeah, let's draw something. Do you still own a 64 pack of Crayola, that big cinder block with a balcony in it? No, I hate that. Every goddamn color in the rainbow. I hate crayons so much. I hate crayons.

Because you can't get a solid line out of them. Well, they're just not like a medium I like. They just...

Even when I was little, they frustrated me. I wanted like a black pen or I wanted a really fresh magic marker. I did not want a fucking good one. Fresh one. Fresh right out of the box before the ink starts to run out. Yeah. You don't want a dry magic marker. God, listen to this guy. I had crayons with a sharpener on the back. Oh, wait. Do you think Watergate, you're just saying someone said it.

I did. You know, do you think kids today know that if something bad happens, like if there's a scandal at Disney and they call it Disneygate, like even they say gate about everything, that do you think they know it comes from Watergate? I don't think so. They probably think it comes from, you know,

It's just a thing people say. They don't know what the gate part is. They don't know what it means. It's a weird thing to actually catch on something gate. Because Watergate was one word, wasn't it? Was it a building? Watergate Hotel. Yeah, the Watergate Hotel and Offices. It was just a building. It's a condo. That shitty little building never knew how famous it was going to get. Never. If it had only known. It shouldn't. It was famous, though.

I mean, it is a sort of a landmark in Washington. Oh, I don't know anything. I'm just talking out of my head. So then again, I mean, as far as your own ambition and stuff, so then you're going to become a Broadway actor.

but you did study in college a bit, but you're an illustrator and then you, you just auditioned and started getting work or did you struggle? Yeah, we all struggled just like everybody else. I, you know, it's a good, it's, it's fun to reminisce about because I, I came up with a great, there were other actors that are now we all know and, and we were all sort of in that group and we all sort of started to happen or things started going well at different times. But New York was a,

I think different than LA, you know, LA, I feel like I could be wrong, you know, but LA always like whenever the couple of times I did go to audition out there, um, I would always, it felt really competitive and not good and not like everyone didn't want everyone to do well in New York because a lot of times we're auditioning for theater and things that, you know, it felt like supportive. Like you could see a friend at an audition and be like, Hey, great job. Or I hope you could do well. You know, like it was, it felt like, um,

It didn't feel competitive, you know, whereas LA is, it was oppressive and it is dark and weird. I mean, auditioning there, it just was not, not fun. Yeah. You're driving, you go park in the structure. You then, I mean, just the amount of effort that it took to go to an audition in Los Angeles, you know, it was an all day affair sometimes. And, but in New York, uh, you had to go pick up the script, like in the Valley the day before, and then bring the whole script home, read it, and then go back to audition for three lines in the script.

Yeah, terrible. Or they wouldn't even give you that. They'd just give you some pages. Sides. How am I supposed to do this? And this is pre-cell phones, right? Because I would get lost and I'd start crying. I'd just pull over and go, I'm fucked. My appointment is in 10 minutes. I'm in Culver City. Thomas Guide, yeah. And you'd look for a pay phone. It was a nightmare. Oh.

three youngsters listening yeah it was terrible whereas in new york when you do it it was like it felt like you know dropping off something at the dry cleaners then you hit your audition then you go to the grocery store you know like it it felt like an end more than a and in a weird way you can kind of get more of them done here in new york but it always felt weird because they always be like yeah they want to put you on tape for everyone in la i just always envisioned this

enormous plane that just had tapes dumping off the back of it, you know, just into nothing. You would never hear back from anything. Never. That was so humiliating. I even, they said, you'd be good for a commercial because I wasn't really clicking in any other

So they go, you've got a great look for a commercial. You have blonde hair. I was like, I've got a pretty sweet body, you know? So they were like, and I look young. So I go, still my gymnast stuff was going on a little bit at that point. And then I get this SBV, Sutton-Barthen-Vanerial disease, we called it. And it was a commercial agent. And they would send me out.

you know, God love them twice a day. So I'd go to the valley when it's a hundred degrees wearing a suit and then go in the trunk and get shorts, drive over and you're in college in this one. And you're, and I went up for one year and I did not get one, nothing. So humiliating. It's, how did I fucking ever make it out of that? It was like maddening. Talk about anxiety and sadness. Like

We had to do a podcast just for this. I didn't have it. I was like fucking walking around. Do you remember those auditions that you'd go on where it would be for a commercial and they wouldn't want to tell you what the product was or they wouldn't want to tell you what the concept was. And then you'd go into a room and there'd be like a beach ball, a pool noodle, a funny pair of glasses, and they'd be like, just do something.

And you'd be like, what? Yuck. No. Clown. Jump around clown. They go, we're not going to tell you what it is. I go, go fuck yourself. No, I didn't. I said, okay, what is it? I jump on the beach. Well, ew. Yeah. The worst one I ever went on was actually for Thin Red Line. And it was, although I didn't know it at the time, it wasn't, but it was, and I knew it was a Terrence Malick movie and it was a war movie. And it was the worst audition I've ever had in my life because they-

They didn't, um, they, of course there was no script course. There was no character. There was no whatever. And I go to this office building on 68th street or something, wherever it was. And, um, and it wasn't with him, obviously it was like with some, you know, the second assistant to the casting director. And then they sort of flick on the camera and they were like, okay, just pretend you're in war. And I was like, what? And like, they were like, you can dump over the chairs or pretend they're you're in a foxhole or whatever.

And I was like, what the hell am I supposed to put? Like, so then I kind of got on the ground and I'm pretending I'm shooting, but I don't have any lines. There's nothing I can say. And I'm not going to improvise. I just basically kind of rolled around on the floor for about three minutes. And then, and then when I don't think I can do this, but that's one of those ones you're like, you really just feel like a monkey on a string. You're like, well, you know, you have to at least give me something. Tell me what I'm supposed to do in this.

Right. Just give me an angle. You're scared or more. These people are coming and you got to tell your friends. I know. You made the setup, you know, it's like,

David would have done it. He would have hauled out his microchip box. I'm sure you guys would have been great at it. Hey, Sarge. No, I would have. I don't know about these missiles, Sarge. These missiles? No, there was no missiles, guys. Missiles, Sarge. I don't like missiles. I don't like missiles. My glasses are broken. No, it was Sean Penn stomping around with one of the...

prostitutes in the movie and he's like, we're gonna hook up with this girl and we're gonna pass her around and Michael J. Fox is like, you gotta give me a minute on this here. He was the nice guy in the movie and they were all... Casualties of war, of course. Yeah, great movie. It's so funny that I would even remember that movie, let alone base my whole stand-up routine on it. But...

It's always a winner. So did you, I mean, when did you know you had an ear? Like you could do accents and voices. Were you asked and then just learned I can learn it? Or because it seems like you'd have a pretty big ear. I have some English family, so I can kind of do a couple English accents. Which ones? Oh, I don't know. Well, there's posh. I mean, there's sort of the, you know, the clipped sort of upper class English. Then there's sort of the, me and Barnett are always doing bits on English.

under sort of the Guy Ritchie accent, you know, just like, do the job. All right, let's do the job. Are you going to do the job or are we going to do the job? From like Snatch. Yeah. Cockney rummy. The super working class Brit. Super working class. I got one. The tuppence in me suppence. Exactly. Come on, let's just go. That's my whole audition. Thank you. Call me. Pop round it.

I like in your audition for the war, you're rolling around like an idiot and then you just go, yeah, I'm not good for you. You cut them off from firing you. You go, I'm not into it. I'm not into it. You don't have to call me back. Tell Terrence I'm not good for you.

I'm not going to tell them it's a no-go, but hit me on the next one. So the next time they asked you to do something like that, you just tapped out. No, then you learn to just go, well, I need some pages or something. You do need, you can't. Oh, okay. It's kind of like handing someone a crayon and saying, hey, can you paint the Sistine Chapel? And you're like, no, I don't normally have a crayon.

No, it's actually easier because they go, just paint something. Oh, here's a wave. At least you can make up something. But if it's just a random war, you're like, am I happy for the war? Am I sad? Is it the Korean War? Yeah, that matters. War of 1812. They go, no, it doesn't. Yeah. To me. Oh.

And when do you see, oh yeah, go ahead. I just wonder when you first wrote a film. It was Chopping Thunder, it was with Ben. What? Get out of town. God, where's the applause button? Well, I mean, it was a long road, but it was, you know, Ben used to, me and Ben became friends. I was doing a play on Broadway and,

uh with his then girlfriend and and we and i was a huge ben stiller show fan um sure just thought it was hilarious blah blah so he came to the show and or opening night or he was kind of hanging around the theater a couple times and i was sort of quoting the his show back to him and we ended up sort of becoming friends and found out that we had a very similar sense of humor

And he would, and he was just sort of blowing up at the time doing, you know, with like something about Mary and, and you know. Oh fuck, he's right in the pocket. Yeah, that was the moment that he was like really exploding and people were yelling at him on the street. But when he would come to do, to New York to do like, you know, Letterman or Conan or whatever, he would do these like really elaborate pieces.

bits you know you know like he'd really work on these you know sort of segments yeah um and so i would sort of like help we'd sort of sit around and come up with bits for him to do you know or he would say something like he would go on letterman i remember one he did where he

He said, yeah, I don't really want to talk about the movie I'm promoting. I just, you know, I had to take a break and I've been in France and I've been painting and Letterman's like, oh, you've been painting. He's like, yeah, it's just a little sort of ramshackle place in the South of France. And I'd pay this prostitute and I'd paint her and

you know, every night and blah, blah, blah. And then the reveal was that he would hold up these, these, uh, this artwork that was just done in pasta with watercolors and like glue, like a prostitute, like made out of fusilli. Um, so we'd work on stupid bits like that. When you talk about doing TT, what's that? When did you just discuss under? Yeah. And we said, then he, he had the original sort of idea for it, which was,

um, it was, it was, let me talk about thin red line. It was that period of time when it felt like everyone was going to do a war movie. Like, you know, like Oliver Stone was doing a war movie and Stanley Cooper, there were so many Vietnam movies in a row. Um, yeah. And the press at the time for them was very sort of serious, you know, and all the actors, when they would get interviewed would be like, uh, it's intense. Like, you know, they said, you know, when we shot, uh,

Oliver wanted us to be in war. And let me tell you, it was war. And it made us giggle. And so he had the original sort of joke, if it was the one-line pitch to me, was--

let's do a movie about a bunch of actors that come back to LA after making a war movie. And they all have PTSD from the movie. Um, so that was sort of the original idea. Um, and then I said, it was like, well, what if we just, and also Blair, which was really popular at the time. I said, what if it's like that they go to do a war movie, but then they get caught up in a real war. And that was sort of, that was the sort of the kernel. It's like both moment. Yeah. Yeah.

That's great. And then everything. And then you get good people because... So you get good people because he's doing well. It's a funny idea. The script, it took years of writing that script because I was working at that point and I think I was doing Six Feet Under or something. And he was obviously on Fuego. So we...

we would sort of pass the script back and forth. Like I'd write some, we'd write like a funny scene that had no place to go. Like it was a funny, here's an idea that's funny. Like the first scene in the movie where he's, you know, got his hands blown off and it's the guy going like, come on, you can make it. You know, and he's like, I can't feel my legs. And you know, and he's like, stop it. So I wrote that scene and that just made us laugh. And I don't know, we just sort of tossed it around. And then gradually the script started to,

formulate take shape it was it was monty python s that first thing because you have real violence or you know the the two knights and he starts cutting the arms off the legs off yeah but in terms of ben playing that so serious no man you know i mean we had like a million lines for that you know and i the the the seed the joke in that scene is that

He's an action star, obviously, and that he can't cry. And he's working across from Lawrence Olivier, essentially. And it frustrates the other actor. He's like, you can't even squirt. You can't even get the tears going. What the fuck's up with my man? Is that Robert Downey? That's Robert Downey, yeah. So that's when we sort of pan out to reveal that this is the shooting of a movie, et cetera, et cetera.

Yeah. It's obviously, as you know, just such a huge comedy. There's never been anything quite like it, I don't think. I've never seen a comedy like that. It's also like a huge... I mean, without any jokes, it was a huge movie. Meaning just as far as visual effects. To shoot. Oh, yeah. You had explosives. It was as big as any war movie. I mean, as far as the look. I mean, Ben's such... I mean, he's obviously...

you know does get the credit you know but he's often not credited enough I think with how great a director he is you know he is like a real camera mover knows how to where was it oh yeah where'd you shoot it Hawaii

Was that in Vietnam? No, we didn't do Vietnam. We didn't need the authentic background. Why? We needed a couple trees. Rainforest, we had to make the cast happy. There's two, there's, a thing about a movie, in comedies, probably dramas too, is just these, whatever you call them, word packages that just are transcendent, that are funnier as time goes on, you know? And I think one of them,

That's less controversial would be the Tom Cruise, Les Grossman. I want you to take one step back and literally fuck your face or your own face. Yeah. Which one was it? I'm not sure. But that's the kind of thing. And again, like Monty Python. I don't know where that influence came from, but those type of things.

that nonsensical thing. I assume it wasn't a guy alone in a room, but were you together at that point where you're kind of riffing what that character say or- That character came out of, you know, we wanted Tom to be in the movie very badly and it was kind of,

um he was like well i read the script and there's he's like there's no like studio presence like why don't we create like a studio uh character you know and i just had a really bad experience working for harvey weinstein and so um on a movie that i directed and i i thought shocker and whatever happened to that guy sorry go ahead um i and i just wanted to like

I just wanted to, I wanted to somehow memorialize that bad experience. And, and so that's how I got that character, you know? Wow. And it's even funnier. It's even funnier. Just that, like that Ray, I remember Joel Silver one time came up to me and he goes, hey, was that character based on me? And I go, no. And he goes, damn it. He wanted it to be based on that. Oh, funny. Well, the Popeye forearms and the hands and then Tom Cruise,

which, you know, everyone loved the new Top Gun. I mean, he gets shinier and brighter when I look back and I see him now and I look at him in that movie when he's doing the dance slapping the ass at the end. It's like, the guy is really funny. He's so funny and he's so committed, you know? Yeah. And I remember kind of

because he has some really hard charging lines in that movie. Yeah, you could say. Some really out of control shit. Do you feel at all odd giving him these lines? He's going to say, Tom Cruise is going to say this? Yeah. This is before we had seen him in any of the tests and hair and makeup and stuff like that. Well, without saying the line, which were the ones that were the most scary or you really couldn't use? It was too far. Yeah.

No, you know, we had sort of like, Ben's a really smart director. We, you know, if we were to sort of pile the script up in all the pages that were written, it would probably look like a phone book or three phone books stacked on top of each other. Ben is really good at, we would always sort of shoot like,

sort of, you know, an A, B and C category of jokes within the scene and then alternates, alternates, alternates. We had sort of these alternate scripts that we would go, okay, now we're going to do one where you say this. And so in the edit, you know, when we could, you know, when Ben was sort of testing the movie, uh, he was able to see, you know, Oh, this, this, you know, went a little too far. Let's dial it back. And, you know, and it could be something simple, just like too many F bombs in a row or something. Yeah. And so we, you know,

And so he could ride the edit, ride the cut of the movie to sort of find the sweet spot because we would have shot all different, very slight variations of every scene, you know? Yeah. And I think that, you know, obviously a lot of movies have a lot of people involved and it's nice to have one

you know, creative vision with other people with almost exact same sensibilities. That's how a great movie has to get made. It has to be just, everyone's on the same page. Yeah. Someone, I mean, Ben, I think we're the real guardians of that. We, you know, we, I think we both, and by the time we shot that we were both, so we had been with it for so long that we intuitively knew exactly what anything would want it to be. If it had to change on the day, it was a real kind of like, you know, um,

great collaboration. It was sort of a real sort of mini Lennon-McCartney thing that was happening on the making of that. - Wow. - Well, the way everything got in. - It's great. - The way everything got in and there's no one blocking your shit. Like the studio, Downey, everyone's saying, "We're all in on this. We're all gonna do everything. I don't care if it's offensive." And it's so funny. And then even Tom Cruise, to his credit,

finding a spot to be in, you know, not getting out of it saying, no, we'll find something and then doing it. And then I'm sure if you throw him lines, he laughs and just does another take and says, oh yeah, that's funny. Let's try that. And then when it all comes together and everyone's shocked to see him, especially in a movie that's already good. And was Woody playing his assistant? Was Woody in there? What's that? Was Woody? No, I think McConaughey. No, McConaughey. Oh, McConaughey. McConaughey was played the agent. McConaughey. Heck.

Are those two different people? I know for sure. They're the same fucking person. Okay. It's unbelievable. Did you guys, did Cruz break a lot when he said lines like, go fuck your own face or something? He did. I mean, he enjoyed himself. You know, I remember, and then I remember, you know, first then you give him these outrageous lines and then Tom Cruise knows how to sell a fucking line. You know what I mean? That guy is super, now he's playing it like it's a,

straight up drama. I mean, he's not really winking or leaning in or doing anything. He's just playing it like as if he was in, you know, one of his other movies. You know, Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program. Oh, yeah. If you want to learn a new language, which, you know, time like the present, it's always fun to learn when you get older.

I know. And it's not learning a language when you're older, you know, over the age of 20 is difficult. You know, I mean, all the high school Spanish I took a grade school Spanish, you know, all I can say is Ola and hasta luego. So it goes out of your head. So now you have Rosetta stone, David, tell them about it. Well, Dana, you know, more than anyone trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users in 25 languages. Uh, I mean, my gosh, uh,

They have Spanish, French, Italian, German. I don't think you can throw them a curveball. I think they're going to know. What don't they have? The language you want. Yeah. And immerses you in many ways. There's no English translations. You know what I'm saying?

I know no English. You need a Rosetta Stone for English. No English translation, so you really learn to speak and listen and think in that language. That's the whole idea of Rosetta Stone is that it sticks to your head. It sticks to your brain. I learned German out of a book. It just doesn't stick as hard, so this is the way to do it. Designed for long-term retention.

There's a true accent feature. It gives you feedback on your pronunciation. Yes. And of course, there's desktop app options. There's an audio companion and ability to download lessons offline. Yeah, so that's great. Lifetime access to all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off. A steal! And I do think that the off-label thing that... I'm ad-libbing now, going off script.

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Visit buyatoyota.com, the official website for deals. All new Toyotas come with ToyotaCare, a no-cost maintenance plan. See your dealer or visit buyatoyota.com for details. Let's go places. Whenever Tropic Thunder comes up, you know, I get a lot of, you know, well, you couldn't make that movie today. And I kind of,

It bums me out because I'm like, I think you can make that movie today. It wouldn't look exactly like that movie, but I remember kind of taking it hard as you would when people are trying to boycott something that you think is actually on your side or on their side. Yeah.

I remember I lucked out a couple years later after the fact, having a drink with Mel Brooks and kind of moaning about it a little bit. And he just, he sort of stopped me and he just went, nope, look, you have to just make sure the joke is aimed perfectly at the person who's the idiot. And that's your job is to, obviously, we're not trying to make jokes about

anybody except for Hollywood actors in that movie, you know, um, and egos and studios and that kind of stuff. Um, so the minute you're sort of, he was basically, he gave me some comfort around, you know, cause his movies are so brilliant and, you know, you could say equally say that, well, you can't make those movies today, but yes, you can, you know, you can make, you know, his, his jokes. It's weird. Everyone. I think when you see a Mel Brooks movie, you don't think, Oh, well, you know,

Uh, that's really uncool that he would break that. Like, you know, what a horrible person he's batting for. You know what I mean? Yeah. Right. And obviously you're talking about blazing saddles, which, you know, Richard Pryor wrote a lot of, a lot of it with, with him. And, um, obviously all the racist people in the movie are idiots and Cleavon little is the smartest guy in town. And there's some very, very naughty words in that movie and crazy things are said in that movie. But, um,

But, you know, again, I don't know. Well, we talked to Bill Burr about his stand-up because he'll ride outside the line sometimes. And he says for himself, intention matters. Absolutely, yeah. Are you going after a disenfranchised section of the population? Or are you satirizing more privileged people, if you want, or wherever the target is? So I think...

I'm still recovering that you got to hang out with Mel Brooks and talk to him for an hour. Just for a minute. It's not like we had a salon going in the West Village and we're lounging around smoking. I like that Steve Spielberg, Steve said he wishes he didn't take the guns out of ET. I just read that too. Yeah. Yeah. I thought that was interesting that he would say that. Yeah. It's a weird thing, you know, like, you know, they,

people, it's just censorship is a weird thing, you know, like, and it, and people are genuinely, I think, afraid to write things and perform things and do things, you know, because no one wants to get their head chopped off, you know. Sure. You don't want comedy to turn into the same five jokes that everyone's allowed to use. And then, so when you go outside and try to break some ground, I guess there will be more pushback than normal, but yeah,

As long as it doesn't ruin your life. But I, the intention, again, you're trying to be funny. You're trying to be this and no one's out to get someone. Yeah. There's, um, in actually I was watching this Oscar Levant play with Sean Hayes, uh, that I was watching the other day. Um, that I saw the other day, he has some great lines. Oscar Levant has some great lines where he says things like, you know, there's no such thing as a sincere joke. You know, you can't bring the house down with a wholesome gag. You know what I mean? Like it's something has to be dangerous about it. You know, um,

And catch people off guard and the element of surprise. And it's not what you think they're going to say. And it just, just fun. I mean, you know, we're all in the same, but it's nature is not respectful. You know what I mean? Nor should it be, you know,

What about Zoolander? You did Zoolander? You worked on that with Ben? I worked on two with Ben. Evil DJ. And I was the evil DJ. Full makeup. That looked like fun. And that guy was breakdancing. That's actually, I was breakdancing. Did you breakdance? Yeah. I had the breakdance fight with Owen Wilson, with Hansel.

That's the big act three fight scene between me and Hansel. Oh, it's always great. Um, did you go when Woody, uh, Woody is in your new show? Did you go when he did sign it live? I did. I went there and saw that. It was hilarious. No, you did. It was good. It was fun. Yeah, it was. He, um,

He's, he's, he's, uh, him and Owen Wilson, the people I've met, there's such a cool kind of, I don't know, Texas frequency to them. There's something about. It's so funny when you do, I would actually like to hear your take on this Dana. There is a version where you can impersonate Woody, Owen, and McConaughey probably all at the same time. Yeah. There's something they should all hang out together. I think they do. Yeah.

Yeah. No, you were fine. I don't care. She's not even mad at you. Then like, I mean, you sort of slip into more of a stoner kind of like, that's what I don't like about. I don't know. I don't do impersonation. Woody is like, he's, he's still, he's so, he's really cute. You know, I was looking at him on the show. He still has those dimples and there's something just amazing.

uh, incredibly likable about him. I think you two are great in that. Is this as foils for each other? We're kind of like, uh, you know, it's, you know, we in, in life and in this show, you know, we're very much, it's a very sort of odd couple relationship, you know, um, you know, feel is going to answer, you know, like, and it's just, he's,

he is a very kind of i mean in the show he's more sort of uptight gruff whatever um but yeah set you know howard hunt howard hunt from the cia yeah we just we laughed a lot he's a very fun guy to work with he's he's very sort of infectious and he's very very very laid back in a way that i wish i could be you know he's so he's one of those guys that can jump to set like 12 minutes late and 15 minutes late be like oh hey whoa

why is everyone, oh, okay. There's no judgment about it. He's like, oh, we're already here. Okay, cool. Yeah, he was like that even on SNL back in the 90s. There was almost like he, what am I supposed to do? It's all kind of thrown away and then he just lands it perfectly. Exactly. He doesn't have, I feel like he has no cortisol in his system whatsoever. He just doesn't. It's just great for him.

We had a running gag when he hosted when I was a cast member, and I was just kidding with him because I liked him immediately. And the running gag was, you could never be depressed, Woody, the rest of your life because you know me. You actually know me. And so that became a Ryan thing. He sent me a frame photo with that phrase on it. You know me. You know me. How could you ever be sad? Just think of it. Just all that kind of, but he's so great.

So I know that Justin has a favorite. We'll let you go in a second, Justin. Do you love After Hours? Dane, do you remember After Hours? After Hours. It's a Griffin dude. Griffin Dunn, the best. Jeff Goldblum, Michelle Pfeiffer. Am I crazy? No, not Jeff Goldblum. It's him, Catherine O'Hara. Oh, God. It's such a great cast. Scorsese's one sort of comedy, I guess. Who's Michelle Pfeiffer in?

What are you talking about? She was in Scarface. We're talking about Scarface or After Hours? I'm talking about After Hours, but I think I'm talking about... Michelle Pfeiffer was amazing in that. Don't gang up on me. Whoa. I started knowing what it was because I knew, what's the one with Jeff Goldblum and Michelle Pfeiffer where they go out all night? Isn't it? What's the one with Michelle? Do you know if I'm... Is that even a movie?

Are those people? Dangerous liaisons? No, that was John Malkovich. I'm just guessing. I wanted to know what's on Justin's favorite film list. You know, I always hate that bet, your favorite or films you revisit or films that stayed with you. Young Frankenstein, if we're talking about Mel Brooks, is definitely on my cap. I stole a big bit from Young Frankenstein for Tropic Thunder, actually.

I mean, that's- You did? Well, you were influenced. The Beatles were influenced. Influenced, yeah. There's the scene where Jack Black gets tied to the tree to kick drugs. You know, he says, no matter what, don't let me off that tree. You know, I'm cunning, I'm baffling, but don't let me, blah, blah, blah. That's kind of a lift from young Frankenstein when he goes into the room with the monster and he said,

don't let me out of this room. No matter what I say. No matter what I say. So it's in the same universe, that joke. And then of course he goes in there and he's immediately pleading. It's all in vaudeville. It's all in vaudeville. At some points, everything has been done. Cape Fear. Yeah. Cape Fear. A recent guest, that was a movie. Sarah Sherman from SNL said she watches that all the time to cheer up.

The second one, the De Niro one. The second one, I think, was the second one she meant. Not the Mitchum one, but the- That movie is so good. It really is. Do you remember in the Ben Stiller show, he did that sort of fake, I guess, fake trailer where it's Eddie Munster and Cape Fear? Yes. Yeah, he is the Eddie Munster of all time. Yeah.

that's why that, that show, cause he had left SNL. He talked about it here. And then he suddenly, I was at that Emmy awards and then he was so shocked that he won best show, but it was, it's another show that stands the test of time. I know. He was a group of writers, performers, Bob Odenkirk. I mean, Jesus is Manson. He did that Charles Manson. It's so hilarious. It's so funny. Come on. I'm Bob Odenkirk. I'm Bob. So good. Oh, you're so good.

So as far as SNL, should we cover that for a second? Yeah, let's cover SNL. I was texting with David yesterday. I was like, I've never been on SNL, so I don't know what to, you know, because I love listening to podcasts. But I, you know, massive, massive, you know, I haven't said it at the top, Dana, but

David already knows I'm a huge fan of him, but also likewise you. Well, that was... We heard that you liked our podcast, at least I threw David or something, like week three. So I immediately... Yeah, you were early. ...was really happy as being a super fan of yours. And then, like, he likes our podcast. I mean, it is like... SNL, I mean, it must be a curse to be an SNL cast member because I'm sure you get, you know...

bombarded with questions, you know, about every aspect of it. What's it like working live? What's the thing? What's the most scary thing? And then of course, probably the worst thing, which is like, you know what you should do? No one make a great SNL bit. You know, it would be great on SNL. You know, Dana, I have one funny sketch idea and I want to go host and just do one sketch and leave. I can handle that. Well, just do a guest spot. Just do a guest spot. I,

I know, but it wouldn't make any sense because it's not topical. No, I said just do a guest spot. I don't want to... Just do a walk-on. There's a lot of those walk-ons now where it's like, oh, look, there's Fred Armisen. He's not a member of the cast. He's not hosting. He's just walking. Or Matt Damon is playing this character. I'll be Christopher Walk-On. You know, I saw a great walking sketch where he's watering plants. He's a gardener. And talking to the plants. I might be lying again. Yeah, and he goes, they're cactuses. And he goes, cactuses...

are intimidated so i put googly eyes on him he's got a skinny guy he puts googly eyes on him then he keeps saying googly eyes and it's hysterical perfect googly eyes perfect for for a walk and make him say you were on snl with kyle mooney he was doing some strippers he just called me up and said hey can you just do it was a walk it was technically a walk on it was nothing um meaningful oh

But this is the only thing we're going to air of the whole podcast. So that's it. Hi, Dana. What's in your mind? I think Justin Theroux really wants to host the show. That'd be terrific. I'll reach out to those people. That's the last. I definitely don't want to host SNL. That to me is absolutely. Really? Are you too scared? I get so scared by that. I mean, and then I even like when I, you know, Amy Poehler used to always be like, come to, you know, UCB, you know, when she was doing it here in New York.

And it would make me anxious. You know, I loved it, but it felt like watching trapeze work, you know, with no net. And it just made me so anxious. I much prefer kind of being able to go away, learn lines, really rehearse and then just come out like that. It's so seedy or pants. The idea to like,

On a Monday, you're kind of like, hey, what's the idea? And then by Tuesday, you're kind of fleshing it out. Wednesday, like, let's read it. And then by Saturday. No, it's crazy. It shouldn't exist in some ways. Did you ask Woody? Did he need any help with writing any punch-ups on monologue or anything? No. I saw him on Wednesday and he's like, it's going to go well. But he was like out partying. He's like, it's going to be good. It's going to be good. Oh, yeah. Love it.

no i did a little a little punch up when he went on sort of did a walk on a zoolander but um yeah i don't know it's to me it's like and then when you see people who are genuinely relaxed doing it because you can kind of tell people who are unreal not relaxed doing it you know not that their hands are shaking or anything like that but but it's normal but like phil harman when you'd see him you'd go

he had this kind of, you know, plant your leg, say the line beautifully confidence that was so just like nice to like, great to watch. And then obviously you guys, you know, like your delivery on, you know, Hollywood minutes and, you know, there was just a kind of like when you can tell people are a having fun and be at least appear like they're not nervous.

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Phil was like, he was like we hear Dan Aykroyd was. Like he almost was, well, he obviously was a pro and he was in so many things and he had this binder and he was, he could memorize, he could read the cards really well. But then in between scenes, he'd be reading a book about Evinrude outboard motor schematics. I don't know how that happens. Like, how can you, I don't know. I would just be in such a state of distress, I think that.

Um, I don't know. You don't have to do it. I, I totally get you. I mean, it's hard to host it. If I host it and there's a sketch somewhere you could do an Irish guy or British guy, I'll try to bring you in just for one scene. One thing.

Yeah. If we need a guy to lay on the floor and act like he's in the army. Yeah, exactly. We're going to do a whole sketch about that. My worst nightmare is improvise. We go, we don't, we're not going to tell you what the sketch is. Not going to tell you what the sketch is. Just give me a beach ball, a pool noodle, and just send me out there. Well, aside from his new show,

He also owns Ray's bar. And I want to thank you for coming down today and talking to us, Justin. Thank you for having. And I will see you on my next trip. When are you coming to New York, David? It's all pretty top secret, but you know, I'll call you in some other channels. Send me the file. There's only one other thing besides leftovers, which I think is a brilliant show. Mosquito coast, all the stuff you've done. It's so, you have such a cool career.

And then you did this thing with Norman Lear where you did those live. It was all in the family and stuff that, that I thought was, was going to be a train wreck, but it really landed beautifully. Yeah, it was great. And it actually, you know, it's become sort of an annual thing. Um, I mean, talk about, uh, I mean, I really can't take credit for that show. That was an idea that I had where, that I imparted to Kimmel who then, um,

turned it into this sort of, you know, Super Bowl winning football team of talent, you know. You got a lot to pick from if you keep doing, you can keep doing Partridge Family, Happy Days, whatever you want. Well, I mean, we can, yeah, you can go, we can keep going, but I mean, Can I play Fonzie? Everyone's like, everyone every day is like, why aren't you playing Fonzie? Chachi, Chachi.

I'm already down as Chachi. That was quick. Chachi was cool. Chachi loves Joanie or what was their show? What about Ralph Mouth? Ralph Mouth. Do you remember the beginning of Happy Days? And then I'll let you go.

He takes the salt off. No, he has the salt. They put the salt shaker top back on, but they put it really loose and he pours it on his fries and it all goes over it. And he just looks back to camera and keeps chewing his gum. Um,

I'm like, he didn't even give a reaction I thought was genius. He didn't, you know what I mean? He didn't go, whoa. I love that that's like your brand out, like, and it's like, and he doesn't even react to the salt. That's where I go, I can do that. Pour it out of the... He's my guy, yeah. That's my Uta Hagen. That was your moment that you realized, like, I can do this. Yeah, I go, oh, do nothing? I can do that. What was your early comedy? Not to prolong this, but I'm...

I'm having a great time. Your early influence besides me. My earliest comedy memories are Mel Brooks, but also my dad making me stay up to watch SNL with him, you know, Belushi, Aykroyd, Gilda Radden. 100%, same thing. Life of Brian, early on Animal House, SNL. Holy grail. Holy grail. All those are unreal. And then Gildersleeve.

getting into Eddie Murphy trading places and those kind of things. All those old movies that were just funny, Caddyshack, all Bill Murray. And then into Ghostbusters. All the things, just all my guys I liked. I'd follow them to whatever movie they were in. Cracked me up, made me laugh. Steve Martin albums. Steve Martin. Huge stand-up. He probably takes his comedy seriously. Like,

Say again? Steve Martin apparently takes his... I've met him once, but not in any meaningful way, but takes his comedy very... He's a master of... He's sort of a student of the science of the comedy and the bit, which I admire.

Because he's, I mean, the jerk, obviously. When he came out and deconstructed the idea of a comedian with this guy in the white suit, I'm a wild and crazy guy. I'm sure somehow it influenced me humbly saying that because he didn't really have jokes. He did two minutes on just his character asking for a blue spot. Can I get a blue spot? And the commitment of it, you know,

you know, uh, that was sort of this brilliant new move. And then there were Robin Williams was around. Richard Pryor was around, obviously George Carlin. And then it kept going to Kennison and on and on. But, uh, I love comedians. I do too. It's terrifying. I mean, Dave, you're so, I always, when I've seen you perform live or until on Netflix or whatever, it's like,

you have that, that ease. That's just so, I guess dry, but it's also so fucking funny the way it's this, there's a musicality to it. Like where you sort of drop in these little, and then, you know, that you sort of like go to sort of, and I don't know how you do it. It's a magic trick to me. So I don't really want to know how you do it, but very much. We just found a little extra time. Well,

What's that? We just found a little extra time to talk to you. No, David does have an incredible like throwaway casual thing and little phrases. And there's, I see Nealon in him and Dennis Miller and, but he's his own, own man, but.

They were really influential. He's kind of pretty special. Yeah. I have to go out there and scream and dance around. Make two voices. And David's so lo-fi, and it's very cool. I admire that, too. Because I just like, Richard Pryor says, if you're bombing, just start pushing energy. I was doing it last night. Just throw it out there. I was having a slow patch, so I started talking a lot louder and moving a lot more. I go full JonBenet. You slow them down. There's not even any jokes in there. It's just all energy.

What's up? I'm people. Yeah, come on. You know, whatever. Just energy. Cause if their energy is going down and you reflect it, then the souffle just collapses. But you just push back. Well, they used to say, Dana, Don Rickles used to go, look at Ed over there. He's like, I want a cookie. And you go, these aren't really jokes, but if they're set in the form of a delivery and. Oh no, Rickles was the greatest because he just sounds like a joke. Ed,

Ed doesn't know the show started. Put him in the corner and give him a cookie. Yeah. See, now he's happy. It's just all rhythm. And you go, I think that was a joke. And Dennis Miller used to, one time he said, I sometimes will throw in a word, even I don't know what it means. I just make it up. And just because it sounds like with the rhythm, that's the funny part. And everyone laughs. And then they go, I didn't even get that one. I don't even, but it just, you know.

It sounds funny. All right, Justin, I'm going to go. So you guys stay on for another 10 minutes while I drive off. We're going to talk about you, David. Thank you, Justin. You're a good dude. Great to meet you. And I'd love to see you in New York. David and I will come out together. Please come when the White House plumbers. It's on White House Monday, May 1st. HBO or on Max or whatever. Or HBO Max. Woody Harrelson.

As Howard Hunt. And of course, Justin Theroux as Gordon Liddy, a very gentle kind of boring character. I mean, that must have been his. He lit himself on fire. He ate a rat. I mean, this guy is something. So that's that's that's going to be awesome for you. So anyway, anybody got anything else? Anything else? I miss him already. Greg, Annette, Heather S.?

Don't read who else is on the Zoom. Heather S. All the producers that are on the Zoom. This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts. No joke, folks.

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