Home
cover of episode Johnny Knoxville

Johnny Knoxville

2022/2/23
logo of podcast Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

Fly on the Wall with Dana Carvey and David Spade

Chapters

The hosts discuss the appeal of Airbnb over traditional hotels, highlighting privacy and personal space.

Shownotes Transcript

Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's- Because they're naked? Well, it's like the 1800 time you say, on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there, I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it? My kids loved the Jackass movies. They loved them so much. Of course.

They were obsessed by them. And then they tried to do some of the physical stunts. Let's just say I'm very well versed in ER language. My kids had 28 concussions. Yeah. You know, Knoxville, that coming out, he got offered SNL. We're going to talk about that. But that coming out was so breakthrough, so crazy. Yeah.

what he was doing and I loved it so much. I was like so jealous, you know, to see how cool it was. - Well, the other thing he did great, and I can't remember which movie it was, but they put him in prosthetic makeup as this grumpy-- - Oh, "Bad Grandpa" or something? - Yeah, and he was really skilled at that. And I assume a lot of it was improvised, but that made me envious. I would love to be in prosthetic makeup out on the street, kind of annoying people. - Yeah, and letting them step on your nuts.

Like he had his nuts hanging out all the time from his shorts and then he would bump them into people. He had a permanent vice grip installed. It was called a hooter clamp. And so he had definitive consistent pain on his testicles all the time so that when he would get on the set to do jackass, he wouldn't feel like scared at all. So he also had an electroshock therapy apparatus. Jesus. Called a zone vest. And that would give him just small little kind of

I'm making this up. No, I was like, God damn. I love this element of, I'm so glad I was around for this part of show business. Shoot the rehearsal, look at our hair, be authentic. It'd be like Frank Sinatra coming out, takes off his toupee, Dean Martin comes out, you know, they do a breathalyzer test on him. Yeah. You know, you want to see- I wish, Behind the Curtain. Behind the Curtain, that was the name I wanted for the thing, but you went with the bug. Yeah.

You gotta have a fly in there. Why an insect? Why, I know you hated the part about the fly in the wall 'cause the word fly kind of grosses you out, right? Well, I haven't met a person who's like, "You know what I really like? "I like puppies, kittens, and flies." You know what is really an underrated animal, the fly? Like-- Is it an insect? No, Dana, that's-- Don't you watch Planet Earth's channel? Let's look at a clip.

From Planet Earth where they say, no, it's a filthy fucking bug that hangs out on turds. Right. And not necessarily walls. Right. So, but we, you know. So, we made that up. Well, we had Razzmatazz. Razzmatazz was good. Don't write me a letter. Remember Razzmatazz was going to be one? Oh, I like that one. Yeah. Because it's sort of vague and nothing. And that's showbiz. Oh, yeah. That's showbiz. I thought that was great. You liked that too, didn't you?

Well, how did this piece of shit squeak through? Piece of shit squeak. Yeah, you could do that if you spelled shit differently. So it's like, hey, piece of squeak through. Everything for a while there was like, that could be a title. It's like, I remember one I thought of. It was so fucking stupid.

I can't remember. Well, that's like working on your 8x10. When I came into Hollywood in the 80s, I used to meet people like, yeah, I've been working on my 8x10 for about eight months. Are you writing anything? No, I've been working on that 8x10. So, like, just sitting around for days trying to think of a pithy name. Oh, yeah. It's kind of like, you know, I did a corporate date once for a car company and they drove me out in a go-kart or I drove a go-kart on stage and stuff or you come in in a gurney and I go, guys...

I got to do an hour stand up. That buys me like six seconds of goodwill that I came in in a harness. Ladies and gentlemen. And then it's like 10 minutes later. It's like. Yeah, you're right. Yeah. Believe me, I have a special coming out. I'm looking at it and watching the editing on. God damn. Anyway, we should get back to Johnny. What is the team? Sorry. What's that? Finish the thought. I'm just woke up. What's the name of the special? What's the name of the special? Fly on the stage. Yeah.

It's such a good title. We got our big laugh. That's it. That's it. All right, Johnny Knoxville. What's the funniest thing I've heard this morning? Fly on the stage.

No, Johnny, I was just telling Dana, that's Dana and I'm David, that... Johnny, welcome to the most casual podcast you'll ever be on. I'm excited about this. Thanks for having me. Johnny, this is called every question you've ever been asked and you're going to get asked again. Literally not one different one. We intentionally studied Howard Stern and all the other shows and we want to ask identical things and I'm going to comment as Howard throughout the interview.

You don't have to think this. You could just check out for the next hour. You guys were great on Stern the other day. Oh, did you see? Yeah. Yeah. I listened to it Stern constantly. And I, but I, I heard your guys show and you guys were great. Did you like that? I kept trying to leave.

I kept going, all right, Dana Howard, thanks for coming by. And he's like, what are you doing? I go, well, it's an hour 48. What are we doing? I need some mystery. David's production company is called One Foot Out the Door. No shit. I don't know if that means anything, but he's always kind of wanting to leave. He's a little fragile. Do you have a light in your face right now, David? No.

No, I look good. You do look good. Anyway, yeah, you did Howard Stern. Did you get in there at 5.30 in the morning kind of thing too? Yeah, yeah. I got up at 5.30. It was there by 6. I'm so spoiled. I never have an alarm at this point in my life, so it freaked me out. I was up at 3.45. Every second I checked the clock. Whoa. Yeah, yeah. When you know you have to wake up, it gets in your head. Yeah. He would text me. Stern would text me and go,

I wouldn't sleep if I were you. You better be fucking funny in the morning. I go, God damn. What is it? Who cares? I don't remember what I said. Johnny Knoxville. Is that your real name? Yeah, let's get to it.

Philip John Black is my real name. Mine's fucking Gary Gonorrhea. Mine's Dana Garno, and I switched it to Dana Carvey. Dana Garno was my stage name, and I hated that. Early days of stand-up, please welcome Dana Garno. No, that's because everyone said it wrong, right?

Oh God, yes. That's a tough one. But Clash is- That sucks. Johnny Knoxville is- That's a cool name. That goes off the tongue nicely. Johnny Knoxville. It's very nice. I was going to be Scotty Scottsdale. I'm from Arizona. Yeah.

And then everyone said, nothing will make you cooler. And I said, all right, I give up. His website is called Perennial Senior. I don't know what that means, but... Me? You, you're always the kid. I don't care how old you are. But you'll always be the kid. You'll be boys. You're like Johnny Carson. Johnny's so excited. He's like, I hope they just never ask me one thing. This is going long enough and I don't want to answer anything. No, I can listen to you guys all day. You're so funny. I have some sort of like...

Before we get to SNL, a couple questions. Yeah, yeah. So, like, Jackass, huge in our family. Love it. Kids, two boys. Had a few injuries. Not blaming you, but it was BMX skateboarding. But they love Jackass so much. And I just wondered if for you. Danny, he thinks he met them. Did he meet them? I think I met them with you one time, Dana.

You met Dex. Yes. You remember it was you, me and Patton Oswalt. Yeah. At the 50th anniversary of Paramount. And we took a big photo. Yeah. Yeah. Where were you standing? Like everyone in show business was in these bleachers. Oh, I was in one of those. They bumped me for the next one. I don't know who I was standing next to. Montel Williams? Yeah. Yeah.

I got up in the stands and it's, you know, it's just Meryl Streep, George Clooney, it's everybody. And then I'm next to Billy Bob Thornton and Billy's so eccentric. He goes, you're the one I really wanted to meet. I'm so glad you're next to me. I go, really? Not Jerry Lewis? Right. He's the coolest. Yeah, that was a real thing. Kirk Douglas was there. The attack of the super chins. I remember John Landis was there and he was...

He was really funny and just talking so much shit. Very rebellious and funny. But it was like we were in boss because when I would look at old photos, black and white photos of...

movie TV stars from the 1940s and 50s. I knew they were all dead. There was a certain darkness to it. So I said that to Billy Bob Thornton. We're just going to be down in a hallway and we'll be long gone. He goes, yeah, yeah, I know. We were really into the darkness of that photo. Right, right, right. Hey, I have a peppier story. Johnny, I did this... I did this... Same fucking picture, I think. And it was for Paramount's like 90th, right? So I think they do them every 10 years. So I squeaked in on one. And it had...

It had scaffolding. So it was like on the Paramount lot and they met you in a holding area. And I didn't believe that everyone in the picture was, it was 90 stars, right? It's kind of what you guys did. Yeah. So everyone was a big fucking monster star. I couldn't believe it. And they were all there.

So I go in the holding tank and we go to get a drink and they go, oh, we can't serve drinks because most of everyone's old and we have scaffolding. And I'm like, fuck, what a buzzkill. So luckily, Spadoodle Doo has two Jack Daniels airplane bottles in his sock for emergencies. Right. So this was an emergency. So I get up there and I'm getting on the scaffolding. It's Jim Carrey, Sharon Stone, Michael Dutton, you know, everyone, the same thing as you guys. I think Mickey Rooney, Dana's buddy was there. So...

Anyway, I get up there and Harrison Ford is some, for some reason, down the scaffolding from me. But while they're like loading Liz Taylor on a crane or whatever they're doing, I'm sitting there and then I have my Diet Coke. So I'm going to get my little Jacques Daniels out and have a little nippy nip. So I go like this, you know, I snap the top out of my sock. I go and Harrison Ford's ears go up like a Labrador goes.

Like a Doberman, you know? And then I go, uh-oh. And he looks over and he walks over and he goes, you got any more of that? Oh, okay. And I go, I go, Hey, this is going to trend. This is great. So I go, fucking first of all, Harrison Ford is the coolest dude in the world. So I, I immediately am excited to talk to him. He,

he's just like nervous too he's like time to kill he goes you got any more of those and that's when my star fucking collided with my alcoholism and i go no it was it wasn't even a contest no han solo went home empty oh can you believe it he had a solo cup billy bob thornton got me a beer same thing oh he did well we had a little cocktail after the thing afterwards then i was so starstruck by jane fonda

She was leaving and I tried to get a selfie with her and her whole being collapsed. So if she's listening, I'm really sorry about that. Billy Bob Thornton said, you like another beer? And I'm like, okay. And then I go, Jane Fonda. And my wife's such a fan of hers. And so anyway. Right. Well, let's focus on Johnny. Not Johnny yet.

I, I dreamt. Yeah. Johnny, we're going to have too much of Johnny in a second. So I go, here's my little drink. And I go, glug, glug, glug. And then I looked down the scaffolding when I slowly felt the second one. And I think I see him lift his fedora up and he looks at me and he's like shaking his head like you motherfucker. Cause I had another one.

And then I go, oh, okay, sorry, David. I love him so much. I didn't know that was another end to that. I know, it just kept going. But anyway, so then I think we worked it out later. But anyway, back to Johnny. Johnny, my question for this as a father with kids.

Like I was terrible at watching my kids go down on a skateboard down a giant hill. My wife could look, I couldn't look. One of my kids, we named him the heart attack kid 'cause he was, there were 23 ER visits. They both had five to six concussions, multiple fractures. They're fine now, they stopped.

And I just wondered, are you, when your kid's running down a hill or looks like they're going to fall, are you just like a normal parent or are you so acclimated to stunts that you're like, oh, I've seen someone fall downstairs. Steve-O did that. That's no big deal. Or how does that, that's my question. Yeah. I'm oddly enough, a real helicopter parent when it comes to safety. Me too. You know, however my sense of humor is and how I deal with them is one thing.

But if they're on a swing when they're little or climbing on the monkey bars, I was right under them. And I know I just that's just how I am. And I guess I know how I the last thing I want for them is to get hurt. Right. Because you've been hurt and, you know, like any parent. But I was a little more cautious with them.

Right. I didn't want to be Captain No all the time, you know, so you're sort of like, it's okay, we're okay. They're in a homemade tree fort above a street, climbing around. So I tried not to control them too much, and I had a sense of humor about it. They bought me...

They bought me a book when they were like 10 with mom and it was called Worst Case Scenario, like how to survive a bumblebee attack in an airplane, stuff like that. So it became kind of a runner that my imagination gets away from me and I was very protective in that way, but not to prevent 23 ER visits. Anyway, David?

Yes, Johnny, you gave the right answer. I've got a question and answer thing right here. And that was the right one. You passed the first question. Second of all, when you do this, first of all, I love Jack as growing up and I wanted to hit you up. You know, I see you out and about sometimes you're always very cool. And, um,

I wanted to hit you up in the early days because it, Jackass looks so fun. I wanted to go there. And then I realized I'm such a colossal pussy. There was really nothing I could do. Um, I can skateboard a little bit, but I thought there's no stunt. I couldn't do the full circle skateboarding, you know, uh, David, there was really good at anything. That's the whole idea. You know, we're not going to have you. If you're good at something, you are not doing that stunt. Oh, I like the thinking. Okay, good. Yeah.

I'm like, I can skateboard good. We'll put bees on your dick. Well, that's it. You can do all that kind of stuff. What's that? You can do all that kind of stuff. Requires no skill to have bees on your dick. No, no, no, no. All you got to do is a lot of milestones. All I have to do is stand in one spot or hold on to something. I've really narrowed it down to those two things. I do good. But like people that we bring in, like most of the time, like celebrity guests,

They don't, they can just be peanut gallery. They can just be funny. We don't, we won't go out. Some people, we make a decision not to go after. We'll have that discussion before. It's like, okay, we're not going to go after. But like in this case with Eric Andre and Tyler, the creator of Machine Gun Kelly, Jeff knew them. And I was like, Jeff,

do they get the full treatment and he's like kill him i'm like okay they get the full treatment yeah yeah i like that that you talk ahead of time because you have to because sometimes uh celeb types are a little more frail and fragile uh it physically and ego wise so they wouldn't love it uh but if you know them a little bit they don't know how to take it like i i've pranked people

In my private life, a friend of mine who was an actor, I don't want to give a name, but I kind of went after him like I went after my guys. And it hurt his he was confused by it. And I was a little obsessed with it. I kind of because it was making my other friend laugh.

And it ended up hurting his feelings and he was just confused. I'm like, okay, I can never go after civilians again. I felt like a monster. So there's a very hard line of people I will go after and people I won't. Yeah. Cause in the movie, when you, it looks so fun and everyone laughs at the worst pain it is. They just laugh so hard and they're also like used to it. Like I think,

In the movie, that guy, is it Aaron? Aaron gets a lot of it in the movie. He always gets a lot of it. He's like the whipping boy. He's a very important part of the show. He's like the nail with the schlemiel, the schlemiel. He's the schlemiel. That's what I was thinking. But he...

When you... I think Dana saw it too. He wears a cup and then they try to test the cup and they rack him in the nuts. They have Nagano, UFC guy, punch him in the nuts. I thought more that would break his whole cervix or whatever's down there. I don't know. Hip bones. Whatever's down there. Whatever. I don't know. I'm not some doctor. Yeah. You're not an MD. Oh, and then they did...

The worst was the pogo stick because it's an inexact science. And I think it, and then it started bleeding. Does he have any central nervous system? I'm like, this guy keeps, I go, this is the same guy for four in a row, a softball pitcher, a punch. And then the pogo stick was just like, hey, fuck it. He's not getting hurt enough. Let's just try it. Well, we filmed that.

On the same day as the softball pitcher, for some reason, Jeff and I would schedule these things on the same day. So he was taking a lot of trauma. And there is a cut of the pogo stick bit that's seven or eight minutes long. That is hilarious because the peanut gallery is just murdering Aaron the whole time because we've been filming with them all day and we love him. But he has a way of setting everyone off.

And the peanut gallery was just murdering him. And it was so fun, but we had to cut it down just for the film. Yeah. Aaron, Aaron gets gold.

Aaron gets gold, but yeah, he does. He does. I mean, for, for the purpose of your movie, he's great. And I thought you would be more like Seinfeld and just sort of be in there and let the craziness around you. But after a little bit, you got in and I said, Oh good. He's getting in, which is tough because we're all getting older. I don't know. You're 80. I have no idea how old you are, but you're a, but you're a 72 this month. You must, I'm fragile for absolutely no reason, but you have to be fragile because you just got your ass kicked over and over and over for work and

And I think that you still do it is cool. It's hard, but I'm sure people might want it and you have to do it. Do you feel like that? Do I have to do it? No, I, you know, God help me, but nothing is more fun than filming jackass. And yeah, I did take some shots in this film. And also,

I backload my biggest stunts till the end of the film. So I had like three big stunts left to go after the bowl. But after the blow, just...

I broke my wrist, my rib, I got a concussion, a brain hemorrhage, I spent the weekend in the hospital. Took me a couple months, three months to come back online, really, in my head. So we had to cancel all the rest of my stunts. So it's like, I didn't get to take as many shots as I wanted, but maybe that's good. It worked out for the best because I've taken, I've had a lot of concussions and my neurologist is like, I think you're done with concussions.

You know, Dana, I think we have a connection. We've been friends for a long time. And for this episode of Fly on the Wall, we've partnered with eHarmony, which isn't us. eHarmony is a dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. We are not dating. I want to clarify that. But the connection is what you want in a dating partner.

just someone like, if you found someone that listened to this podcast, that's somewhat of a connection. And then you sort of build on that. You want someone with some common ground. Yeah. It's not, it, look, if you want to connect romantically over, you know, super fly or fly on the wall, uh,

It just makes us happy. You don't want to be watching The Godfather and the person next to you goes, this movie sucks. So dumb. Yeah. You want to connect on all issues and harmonize in life. Similar sensibility, similar sense of humor, and similar sense of sense. I don't like when they watch The Godfather and they're like, everyone in this movie is so old. I'm like, they're 40.

Watch 2001 Space Odyssey. Too much of this movie is in outer space. I don't like it. When do they land? When do they land? Why is that stupid red light acting so silly? Who's friends with a robot? We know dating isn't easy. That's why we partnered with eHarmony because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find someone who gets you, someone you can be comfortable with.

Mm hmm. Yeah. I mean, the whole idea is you're going to take a compatibility quiz, helps your personality come out in your profile, which makes all the profiles on eHarmony way more interesting and fun to read. So I think this is the goal of dating sites. And I think eHarmony does great. It's just finding somebody you're compatible with.

So get started today with a compatibility quiz. So you can find some and you can be yourself with. Get Who Gets You on eHarmony. Sign up today. Robert Half Research indicates 9 out of 10 hiring managers are having difficulty hiring. If you have open roles, chances are you're feeling this too. That's why you need Robert Half. Our specialized recruiting professionals engage their skills

with our award-winning AI to connect businesses of all sizes with highly skilled talent in finance and accounting, technology, marketing, and creative, legal and administrative, and customer support. At Robert Half, we know talent. Visit roberthalf.com today. What I was curious about is the, Dave mentioned the word fun. I mean, I don't think I've ever seen

people that joyous in the world like after the stunt in the world well that the loudest sustained laughter i think that's the flip side to jackass is if the guy does a massive hit and it's just massively hilarious and fun and jumping around and screaming so it's joyous right

You know, a lot of that comes from sometimes it's it's really funny and sometimes we're doing something really dangerous and a lot of nervous energy comes out and everyone. Yeah, but it is everyone, even though we're giving each other hell and people get, you know, have PTSD and everyone loves it, even though that they don't know what's going on. And I'm just.

killing them all day long they love it yeah well it's like such a fun thing with dudes and that's why it works everyone laughing is all fun i mean even movies like grown-ups when people say if they like those movies it's like oh you guys are buddies and you're all goofing around and we should have had a half hour uh blooper reel at the end because that's that's the stuff people love you know yeah because if you're having fun the audience is going to have fun it's just like watching someone on a talk show if the person's on a talk show having fun then everyone watching is going to have yeah

That's right. Yeah, my last question for Jackass, and we'll talk about SNL, was Machine Gun Scarecrow. Machine Gun Kelly, I thought you could have made him like a scarecrow and put him out because he kind of looks like a scarecrow. He has a definite Ray Bolger vibe to him. You put him out and tie him down to a thing and make all the birds come...

pick at him. But I guess... If he's tied down, then it's just... Then we can do any number of things to him. Once he agrees to that, you change it. Yeah, yeah. Okay, well, we'll tell him it's about birds, but as soon as he's tied down, we can do anything we want to him. But he is a tall, lean man.

Yeah. He took a good punch. He's lanky. He's the definition of lanky. He showed up and he's got a tattoo of the skull and jackass skull and crutches on him. So it's like, if you got that, you're getting the full treatment. Yeah. He got a good smack. And I love when it's never when you think it is. And that's the funniest part. You set them up for a different bit and then something else happens on the way, which is great. Yeah. This is my last question before I go to SNL. And I'm sure you've been asked this, but like my son had showed me

A long time ago, the one about the guy gets the, puts the toy car up his butt, you know? And that was so, that was so huge in our house and all over the country.

the way it played out it was played so straight with that doctor and everything do you ever like did you ever get ideas for stunts and don't even and then you reject them out of hand even to yourself like it's like what is rejected when are you like oh we could do this to this guy and then electroshock him there and then tie it hang him up do you ever kind of go no no that's too much you don't even pitch it um well i wouldn't like i write most of my ideas by myself and then i'll

pitch them to jeff but in the room terrible things get thrown out you know how okay a brainstorm session you know funny funny in the room things that you'll never repeat to anyone just like comedy writing yeah with murdering air in some way you know uh that poor guy yeah yeah so yeah a lot of shit gets thrown out it's just we know it's and we're not going to do it but

But sometimes if it's so far over the line, but it still makes us laugh, we'll try to figure out how to do it. And sometimes you can reel it in just a bit here and there and it can work. You start by saying, okay, they're naked. Now what? Yeah, yeah. Always funnier with their cock out. Goddamn, I would never show any. Yeah, first we take a sledgehammer to their balls and then they go down the gauntlet. And then the denouement.

The worst one was probably for me to watch. The cringiest was putting the queen bee. Where did you hide it on his wiener? Like you put it under his ticket? Yeah, I put it under the shaft. I placed it under the shaft.

you where that is exactly got it queen bees like this come save me and and then he lets all the bees out if people haven't seen it and all the bees come immediately in the guy's dick and i'm just like that's the one where i go i can't even and he's getting stung and stung and screaming it was steve-o right

Yeah. Yeah. Steve-O. God damn. He did meditation and he thought he could like overpower, you know. Pain. Yeah. He told me that before. I'm like, okay, we'll see how that meditation can do it for you. Jeez. Did he get paid in teeth whitening? No.

Anyway. He's got some big teeth. He's got some tooths. He has a new set of teeth for every film. Oh, he does have great teeth. I have an entree question that's very generic to begin our discussion about you and SNL. What was more terrifying, being on the rocket, going into the water, whatever you're most amazing, or being on the bull in the latest film,

Or coming out as a host. What was your nerve factor when you, Johnny Knoxville, were you cool with it? Or is it usually people, you don't do that. Well, anyway, how'd you feel? Yeah, I would definitely rather ride the rocket or stand in front of a bull. It was nerve wracking because I have a fear of speaking in public.

Right? And like the audience, I was like, that really freaked me out. And it's SNL and it's not something that I do a lot. It's hard to figure out. You don't really know what you're doing. No, because I didn't. And I

And I remember we were going over some bit and I was talking with Fred Armisen and he was really sweet and helped me a lot. Is very. And I'm like, I don't know kind of what to do here. And he goes, you don't have to do anything here. It's like it's it's it's not about you in this one. It was I was focused on the I was like the straight man and I wasn't realizing it. Right. Yeah. Just little things like that.

um well that calms you down a little bit if it's the the funny is like happening around you and it's funnier if you say stay straight yeah stay straight like don't uh so there was a little of that trying to get used to that and the the rehearsals helped me a ton everyone was very supportive uh i know a couple of bits that i did that

I wasn't really doing that well in the rehearsals. And, you know, Lauren gave me a little pep talk before about the cream will always rise to the top or something. I don't know. Oh no. Terrifying. Yeah. Yeah. It's like, Oh, so I'm, I'm down. There's cream. I'll be here. Yes. You're going to bring it up. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, there's almost nothing you can say. It's just because coming out for the monologue, Dana and I are standups and, and,

And when we go back and host that monologue, even I'm sure Dana would agree. You're like heart speeding, like shit, man, this is so different. Cause it's so loud. When you come out, that band is so loud and everyone's going crazy. And this, and you see the jib camera come in and you're like, shit, this is it. But, but I will say it's, it's fun to bring it up because it goes back to Don Paro, but yeah,

Your opening monologue descended in the cast doing a prank and it ended up with Don Pardo kicking you in the balls, right? No. Or was that the first sketch? Seth Meyers was out there next to me and he was supposed to hit me in the balls at one point. Oh, okay. Like in my monologue. Right. So when I got to a certain word, that was his...

That was his signal to hit me in the balls. But like three words before that, I hit him in the balls. And I absolutely smoked him. And he wasn't expecting it. And he could barely perform the next scene. It was just a perfect hit. Wait a minute. You don't need much power if it's in the right spot. You go on the show.

And because of Jackass, there's going to be a lot of people getting kicked in the balls. Now, so Zeth Myers was not ready for it or you just, you did, or you didn't, he wasn't wearing padding or how did that happen? I didn't tell anybody I was going to do it, but I thought it would be funnier if he wasn't more spontaneous if I hit him. Holy shit. And I was right.

So you improvised that. I was right. So not telling anyone, you go out to host SNL, you're not telling anyone the secret plan. He's supposed to kick you in the balls. You preempt him. And then he's kind of, he's out of it for about the next 10 minutes or the next sketch. Yeah. He was really, he could barely walk. Oh my God. I've done it. You've been ever been looking for your keys. You go where and you tap. You're not wrong. And you just drop to the ground and go call work. Right. It was crazy.

I'm going to wear a cup. We're going to have dinner someday, but I'm going to wear a steel cup. You guys are safe. We're safe. Okay. But so Don Pardo, I was doing a deep dive this morning. He did not do a fake kick to you, Don Pardo. No, no, no. That was Seth Meyers getting. Okay. God, the web, fucking web got it wrong. They confused Don Pardo because I thought it'd be so great. Oh, I love Don Pardo kicking you in the nuts. Kicking Johnny Knoxville.

Yeah, it would have been incredible. Was it a knee or was it just like a hand tap? It was the back of my hand in full. I could feel the outline of his cock and balls on the back of my hand. It was a perfect shot. I don't want to brag, but it was a perfect shot. So do you mind going into more detail? What you felt in the behind? That was kind of, you know, he's being a little evasive. He was hanging to the left as I struck him.

Yeah. Did you hurt your hand at all? Was he semi-erect just being excited to be out on the show? No, but there was probably some swelling afterwards. Okay. That's good. Now, Johnny, you're a professional too because in the movie and the show sometimes you just have to get someone and so you know what you're doing. Yeah. You had one take. By the way, that never happens on the show, something that is really unexpected like that and I'm sure it was talked about after you left.

Yeah, that was at the after party. That's hot, though. That's great. Hey, thanks a lot, man. Hey, really sorry. It just got away from me. I don't know why I did that. No, it's okay. We're cool. We're cool, man. I'm really good at half-assed sorries.

Did you remember anybody in that cast that you got along with? You said, I think you said Fred Armisen just now. So that was, I'm trying to picture the era of, because, you know, cast change a lot. So that was Fred, you said was there. Horatio Sands. Horatio, okay. Rob Riggle. Oh, yeah, I did a scene with Rob Riggle when I went back. So that might have been around the same time. Oh, Amy, okay. Who was doing Update, do you remember? No.

Would have been Tina, maybe 2005. She's still there with Jimmy Fallon. It would have been nicer to me. They were so supportive. It was, it was, it was a scary experience, but it ended up being like a totally positive experience in my mind. And it's something about like it being live. It's just like getting in the bullring. It's like, okay, this is what we're, this is what I'm doing today. And you, you, you just, the train's going by and you jump on it.

And then you're off. It goes by really fast. I, I,

it, you know, in my mind. Yeah. And when you host it, just for our listeners, flies on the wall, once the show starts and you're the host, they take you. Like, they grab you. Like, after a sketch, if you have a quick change or to get ready to go, they kind of, you know, you're on autopilot in that sense. There's nothing else you can do. And how did you handle the cue cards? Were you okay with it? Did you try to fake it or did you have a technique? No.

They said read off the cue cards. And I totally agree. You guys do this more than me. So I'm going to read off the cue cards. Once you pick an eyeline and stay with it, it's less disturbing than going to the person, to the card, back to the person. Yeah. You know, especially in an over-the-shoulder shot. I may have...

made that mistake once or twice going off the cards and looking at the person because you kind of want to make a connection with them but it honestly looks better like they tell you just read off the cards

Phil Hartman had a great technique. Sorry, David, where, cause you have three sets of cards if it's two people talking. So Phil would kind of pretend to sort of look away. He'd look behind himself just for a second, casually to get, get the line over his shoulder and then come back at you with it. There was a lot of technique when you're a cast member to not get caught, you know, but yeah, when they're talking and then come back cause they won't be on you. Sometimes I think the host is always in black and,

but, uh, you have to have different colors for the people at home. So everyone knows who's talking. And, uh,

Sometimes right before a scene, I'm like, Sandler, are you green or blue? Because I don't know which, what does my guy say? Because I'm a professional actor. I think I was red for all seven years. Sometimes you can request and they go, oh, you like to be this. And then there's seniority. I always knew it was John Lovitz's car because each letter was, he only had one letter on each car. Mr. Magoo was doing the best he could. You know, Farley had these Johnny's glasses.

Lovitz is like the Aaron McGee of SNL. Yeah. Yes. Yes. Are you jealous? I'm funny. Because I once told John, you know, you're funny naturally. You don't have to try. Really? There's a lot of thought behind it. When did you turn to Mae West, motherfucker? I don't know. Are you happy to see me? It's called acting. Acting. But no, he's the funniest. John, go ahead, David. So, uh...

Yeah, I was saying that Farley wears glasses just like yours, Johnny, and he would go on update and he'd squint so much. We gave him so much shit that we go just wear glasses. Nobody gives a shit. And then he'd wear glasses and squint for no reason. We're like, are you just used to squinting? Do you know what squinting is?

Or what it's for. David, I don't know my script. It's hard to do for me. We'll get into some basics. Now, just bear with us, Johnny, because I'm older. You do... Is you doing the...

Before you got offered SNOW, you were doing some form of jackass. Was you getting electrocuted in the NARDS? Is that what was your first bit? That's the first bit I saw. You're standing against a wall and someone's hitting you with a stun gun or something? Yeah, I did an article for Big Brother. It started as an article where I was going to test self-defense equipment on myself. Pepper spray, stun gun, taser gun, and I was going to shoot myself in the chest.

With a 38 while wearing a bulletproof vest. Jesus. Jeff Tremaine, who ended up directing Jackass, said, well, you should also film it too. And we'll put it in the skateboard video. Smartest thing that's ever happened. Smartest thing. Yeah. So that was your audition tape?

Yeah, I guess it is and not be. There were different factions that came together and it's a story. It's a long process, right? Where you do that and then you do it a little more and then it catches on as you do some more. And then that ultimately gets to Lauren's desk or somebody. We did a couple of skateboard videos, right? Where I was doing like, it was a skateboarding magazine and I didn't really...

i'd known jeff wilde and wanted to write for the magazine but i didn't skateboard but i found my way in by doing stuff in the videos and writing about yeah you know like participatory journalism type of thing and then jeff and i talked and wanted to do a show and he goes i went to school with spike jones let's see if he wants to be a part of it and spy came on board and we had the footage from the skateboard videos

Right. And we cut a little ten minute tape and we took it out and shopped it around and MTV and Comedy Central showed a lot of interest. And at that time, it got to SNL, got to Lauren, the tape that we made. And I met him at the Polo Lounge at Beverly Hills Hotel.

Hello. Which was surreal, right? I was just waiting tables six months before. So you cleared a table by reflex at the poll. You're like the head of show business now. Right. The president of show business I'm sitting across from. And he's offering me three to five minutes each week to do what I do. Yeah. It was surreal. But

We were pretty far along. We were getting ready to shoot the pilot. And shit, do I go on an established show? Oh, by the way, I'm so lucky that he offered. Do I go on an established show where I'm probably not going to have a lot of control over what we're doing? Or do I kind of bet on my friends and me and my friends? And I ultimately bet on me and my friends. And it could have been a disastrous move, but I felt like.

We kind of were on to something. It's got to be hard to turn down Lorne. It's got to be tough because it's such a big deal. It was brutal. Because it's so flattering. Yeah. Yeah. You feel like an asshole. It's probably going to fail. What we're doing is probably going to fail. And I'm going to regret turning down Lorne Michaels. Would you have been able to do what you do? I mean, there's some NBC standards, but was it you and your squad or was it you? It was going to be me.

and you know oh yeah tough tough one I wasn't going it's not as fun yeah so I don't have Jeff I don't have Spike I don't Spike's cool yeah Spike has been so he's instrumental talented right just yeah off the ground the beginning because

Jeff and I are just two dopes, but you get Spike Jonze involved. It's like, oh, these two dopes might know something. We didn't know anything, but we got respect because of Spike. We got agent because of Spike. We got an attorney because of Spike. Spike has been so...

uh you know contributed so much to the films and tv show over the years just sure well the the aesthetic and i don't know if you guys talked about this with spike but you guys are out at lakes and rural areas it's never shot too complicated it's very reality show vibe wide shots and um you know it's it that added to it the authenticity vibe of it right well we were never was slight

Thank you. We're trying to decide in the beginning, like, because we're doing skateboard videos, which look exactly like Jackass, right? They were shot exactly like Jackass because that's all we could do. That's how we could shoot like this because we knew how to do that.

Very simply, like a cheap look kind of thing, a band that only knows two or three chords. Right. This is what we do. But Jeff and I were talking like, what do we do? We have a like a do we do I host from a desk and then go out to the street to do certain things? And we talked to Spike and he's like, no, he goes, you're already you're already doing it.

It should look like the Big Brother videos. Another great idea. Yeah, of course. Yeah, because that would have ruined it if somebody went in and slick-assized it and made too many angles. Yeah, but we didn't know. So it took Spike to go, you're already doing it.

Yeah. Well, I checked up your celebrity net worth this morning, so I think you made the right choice. I don't know how accurate it is, but it's very healthy. Those things are never accurate. I know. I know. You never know. I'm just, I'm taking, you know, but I do think that people come in and do films, short films. I don't know. It's a little bit awkward. You're outside the cast and you bring your thing in. I don't know. I think that's kind of a tough position to

So I think he made the right decision, but tough to turn down Lorne. And Lorne was smart to bring you in, of course, and get in the mix. To try to get you. Yeah. Yeah. Because that's a good eye too. Because, you know, to see that and see how interesting that is and how it could be cool because I was hooked immediately and you get Spike, who I think has done some Beastie Boys videos and obviously a bunch of cool things and

And have a starkness to it and whatever the vibe was just that it works and it worked on all levels. You worked, you being out there. Uh, I always thought you were a skater. I was always wondering if you were a skater. Yeah. No, I, uh,

you know i skated like when i was 13 or 14 broke my ankle my dad just took my skateboard and tossed it in the woods because i was going to miss baseball right i always played baseball was my sport growing up in the woods in the toss it in the woods my tony albemore woods are five feet away yeah yeah literally five feet away in tennessee we had a pony in my backyard you know

Oh, nice. Love Tennessee. Love Nashville. By the way, I did talk to Lauren during that time. And I said, really, Johnny, who Knoxville? What do you think? You know, it's all the kids love it. It's sort of pranks. It's physical. And I think it'll be really good with like our young demographic. And Johnny seems like a really nice man. And we're going to like fucking bring him in. And I go, I don't know. He's heating up on MTV. Mike, Dana, trust me.

He knows a good deal when he sees it. And then after you took MTV, he was really mad. No, I made that up. We're going to put honey on John Lovitz's nutsack and just let the bees go to town. Maybe add a skunk. You know, it's up to him. Yeah. Lovitz is going to sit on a phallic shaped child. I know.

We're going to zap his nuts when they walk on the monologue. Two-year episode in 2005, and it happens to the best of us as far as what you can do comedically in this universe. In 2005, you had...

You might be a gay redneck if was one of your sketches. Oh, the Jeff Foxworthy thing. Yeah. Could we do that now or explain that or what that was? You might be a gay redneck if. You might be. That was one of the sketches that I had trouble with in rehearsals.

I thought I was doing fine, but my, apparently my rhythm was off, was not good. And it took me, I know he, I didn't, did, did I do that sketch? Did that even make the show? As far as what I read it did, but maybe it was only in dress. Were they asking you to do kind of a Jeff Foxworthy twang? Is that what the character they wanted? Well, that's no problem. It's just,

I couldn't get the rhythm down. And it sounds moronic to say that, but it's, you know, comedy's standups timing in my timing. I couldn't, I just couldn't grasp that. You know, sometimes it's embarrassing to admit, but what was your first time? It took me 80 shows to get my rhythm down on that fucker, you know? So yeah, go ahead, David. And when I did a Jeff Foxworthy once and it was a combination of,

You know, you have the redneck and then he's got the way that he does it. And I think they're trying to emulate that. And so I was doing the same thing where like, do you go up at the end? Do you go down at the end? I was, I was, you might be the Ebola virus. And it was like, if people see you and run, there's a good chance you might be the Ebola virus. Yeah.

if you if people look under a microscope and see that the zygote and i gave a long description right you might be there's a good you know so it that was the same thing it's like you have there's a couple different uh components to it not just a voice like your southern but your southern might be a little different than his southern and then how his rhythm is how he does it to match and those things they look for and then i've had impressions taken away from me during the week

Oh, sorry. And they give it to Dana. I didn't mean to. As a Ford owner, there are lots of choices of where you get your vehicle serviced. You can choose to go to their place, the local dealership, your place, home, apartment, condo, your workplace, even your happy place, like your cottage on the lake. Go to your Ford dealer and choose Ford pickup and delivery to have your vehicle picked up, serviced, and brought right back.

Or choose mobile service where a technician will come to you and do routine maintenance right on the spot. Both are complimentary and depend on your location. That's ownership built around you. Contact your participating dealer or visit FordService.com for important details and limitations. You know Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program.

If you want to learn a new language, which, you know, time like the present, it's always fun to learn when you get older. I know. And it's not learning a language when you're older, you know, over the age of 20 is difficult. You know, I mean, all the high school Spanish I took, grade school Spanish, you know, all I can say is hola.

and hasta luego so it goes out of your head so now you have rosetta stone david tell them about it well dana you know more than anyone trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users in 25 languages uh i mean my gosh they have spanish french italian german i don't think you can throw them a curveball i think they're gonna know what don't they have the language you want yeah

It immerses you in many ways. There's no English translations. You know what I'm saying? I know no English. You need a Rosetta Stone for English. No English translation, so you really learn to speak and listen and think in that language. That's the whole idea of Rosetta Stone is that it sticks to your head. It sticks to your brain. I learned German out of a book. It just doesn't stick as hard, so this is the way to do it. Just feel tight.

Designed for long term retention.

There's a true accent feature. It gives you feedback on your pronunciation. Yes. And of course, there's desktop app options. There's an audio companion and ability to download lessons offline. Yeah, so that's great. Lifetime access to all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off. A steal! And I do think that the off-label thing that... I'm ad-libbing now, going off script.

is that when you learn a language and you learn to pronunciate the words in that language, you start to learn about the people who live there and speak that language. Sort of a subtle, intuitive way of integrating with the culture. A little different, yeah. Don't put off learning that language. There's no better time than right now to get started. For a very limited time, Fly on the Wall listeners can get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off.

You just visit rosettastone.com slash fly. That's 50% off, unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com slash fly today. You licked Horatio San's face in Versace Mother.

I don't remember that. I couldn't. What's Versace Mother? This is Johnny's hosting gig from 35 years ago, and I'm asking him to tell me right now. No, I remember Dukes of Hazzard, I remember. I ran to see that one. Dukes of Hazzard, I remember. He was in that movie.

Yes. Well, you've had a pretty big film career too. There's been a lot of movies besides Jackass. Yeah. I'm lucky to have feet in both areas, but... And the Special Olympics one was edgy. Could we do that now? But it was very funny. I read The Ringer. I remember reading that. Special Olympics was on board. Like that movie wouldn't have got made if Tim Shriver was not on board with it. Good. Yeah. So I'm...

I'm proud of that film. I stand by it. One of my son's favorites. He brought it up today. You know what? I think, Johnny, I read that movie. I think what happened maybe, and you would know more, but maybe just on the surface, no one saw it or bothered to see any messages or anything nice about it. They just said, oh, you can't do that. Yeah. That's exactly what happened. Because if you watch it,

you know, it was it was sweet. And of course, we went for it as far as comedy goes. But you had to kind of samurai get the message out there. Yeah. So I mean, I made so many great friends on that film. You know, Eddie Barber now who was in John Taylor, they both appeared in Jackass three, two of the guys.

Eddie Barber was like a Borscht Belt comic. He is so funny. When you do Jackass 3, do you audition these new people? What is that process like? We reached out to people we knew mostly. And the people, and we brought them in too. Jeff and I talked to them, brought each cast member in to talk to them. Because at the end of the day,

We have to get along with you. We liked it. We have to like having, that's the biggest hurdle to get over. And then,

We did a two day test in December 2019. Spike Jonze to his credit is like, "We're older now. How's this going to look? Is this going to look sweaty?" We not only need to test the new people, but we need to test the old guys to see how it looks. And so we did. And that's how we tested the new cast. We just shot it like a film for two days. We did about three or four bits a day. And a lot made the film. So that's- - It's a hard part of it.

is a hard part of it like because you don't want uh people to submit you don't want people getting hurt you don't want any legal problems and i'm sure people say they'd be good they'll do anything for you like they just want to be in it they'll do anything and they'll and you gotta be careful with those people

because it could look a little dark when someone comes in. Like, we'll do anything. Suddenly there's something to fight against, right? It's not as enjoyable to watch as a viewer. Like if you watch the bee thing with Steve-O and he's not howling and screaming and terrified, it's not as funny. If he's just standing there like it's no big deal, there goes the comedy. So we have to hire people who are very honest about their emotions.

Yeah. And if you find something they don't like, then do that. And also the heavyset guy that went down the ramp and flew and kept wiping out. He was he was tougher than I thought he could do a lot of stuff. Yeah, he's very athletic. Zach. Yeah. Zach Holmes. He's done some really naughty stuff. And he's one of those guys that would have done anything Jeff and I asked. And that's a lot of responsibility to have over someone.

And Jeff even took them aside one day. We're shooting somewhere. And there was like a 60 foot platform up there. It was unrelated to us. It was a big one platform, 60 feet off the ground. And Jeff's like, Hey Zach, I think for this next bit, we want you to jump off that platform and you know, we'll put some, uh, into a cup of piss. Yeah. We'll put some, uh, mattresses down. I could work there for you. Yeah. And he, he got so, uh,

upset. He got so sad and scared because he's like, I'm going to do it.

And I was, I was, at first I was going along with Jeff trying to be, yeah, we need you to do that. But I saw that he was really going to do it. And I just walked away because I couldn't, I couldn't do that to him any longer, but he was definitely going to do it. And then finally we let him off the hook. Like we're not going to ask you to fucking jump off something 60 foot high onto a mattress. Well, I just dove into cactuses. Yeah, he does. He does some of that stuff where you think it's too much flying into the cactus. I thought, okay,

could get in your eye. You just never know. I mean, when the guy went down the slide and you covered his arms, you know what I mean? In the oil slide and then he... Right, right, right, right. Yeah. Oh, air. Your lap. And you couldn't, you could snap your head. I mean, my God, I go, you just get lucky. Like, aha, everything's okay. Yeah. I was in the hospital while they filmed that. Oh, you were? Really? After the bull? Yeah. And we had another bull bit.

to do that day. I was going to do two bull bits, but after they took me away in the ambulance, none of the guys are like, fuck you. We're not doing anything with the ball.

It feels kind of like it's, there's a rhythm to it. You know, it's almost like sex. It's like there's anxiety and dread. Then there's fear and pain. And then there's resolution and laughter and relief. You know, each set has the emotionality of these three quadrants. Are you and Spike aware of that when you're editing it? Like...

This is how much anxiety and dread. Now we've set it up and now we're going to show, you know what I mean? Cause it really, really works on an emotional and funny level. Pacing is, uh,

has a lot to do with Jackass because you don't want to put too many like gross bits in a row or too many big stunts in a row. You got to have, if you see something gnarly or you got to have a little palette cleanser after that. And then you got to, we spaced everything out and we have to space the cast out. You don't want too much of this and that. So, spacing is something Jeff and I and Spike really focus on in the edit.

Like there's a little bit with just a little bit of dialogue more than a stunt. It's like, like might end in something small, but it's, it is a little palate cleanser. I like that. I like that. Also the guitar, the crunch of whatever is another genius. Just one more thing that makes it work. Yeah. Thank you. That, that song though, if you listen to it, it's, it's,

It's so different once the lyrics kick in. It's just a beautiful, like wistful song once the lyrics kick in, but it sounds just like some hillbilly hoedown at the beginning. It's something different. The parts you use are high qual. Johnny, there's, sorry. I had a question for Dana. David, I just interested a little bit in just you being from Tennessee and you have some manner about you.

That's very sort of country and it's very polite and sincere. And I just want to, you know, just something about the culture of Tennessee. I'm the only Tennessee person I do is Al Gore. And when I do him, he's a very earnest person.

and sincere man we're going to do better because we have to with climate change and so you have kind of this country i'm not saying dolly pardon but there's a sincerity and likability about you anyway i'm just observing as i've gotten to know you well thank you that's very kind dolly grew up about 20 minutes from where i was so uh have you ever met her and hung out with her

you know this is how this i have social anxiety sometimes right and so i was at yamashiro's oh yeah in los angeles oh in l.a you know yeah yeah it's a restaurant yeah it's a sushi place and dolly parton walks out of the bathroom and i just it was like 10 years ago

And I just froze. And I'm like, I didn't want as much as I wanted to meet her. I didn't want to bother her because I'm sure people grab her. She walks out of the bathroom all the time and I just wouldn't do it. So I froze up and I've regretted it ever since. Right. But I get real social anxiety sometime. And yeah, so that was my. I do that. People do that. I think that's a polite way to go. You sometimes kick yourself, but yeah,

But it is probably the most polite way to go. Is to, yeah, let them be. Yeah, because, you know, you have it both ways. Huh? But if you saw her and she came up to you, it'd be fun. Like, you know what I mean? I would laugh. Yeah, yeah.

I don't think any of us normal people, you know, until you're Brando or something, how do you attach yourself to your own celebrity? I had a masseuse once in Malibu in the 90s, and she was massaging Bob Dylan. And she said Bob Dylan said to her that, I've never caught up with my fame.

You know, he's just, he's just Robert Zimmerman and you're Johnny Knoxville. And so, but to me, you're just really famous. It's like, of course you go talk to Dolly, but I get that. I don't ever think I'm a famous person. I don't have no, no connection to it at all.

And my wife reminds me if I do. Bob Dylan and his zingers. I was born very far from my home and I was just trying to get back home again at the beginning of No Direction Home. Oh, yeah. Yeah. He doesn't quite do that. I love his later stuff. I love his and I love when he does do banter with the audience, some of these bootleg concert films, and he does just the worst jokes.

Hey, did you hear about the man who had five penises? His pants fit him like a glove. This is terrible. Anyway, here's like a Rolling Stones. Here's blowing in the wind. By the way, that's notorious. I saw Adele. She was actually funny. I saw Lionel Richie. They both were doing jokes between like almost every song, but they were working. And I was like, God damn, they have a better act than I do. And they have their singing.

Yeah, Dolly does jokes and they're amazing. She has such great timing. Yeah, she's a charmer. She hosted SNL too. And this was probably, I don't know, 89 or something. She says, yeah, there's like a little boy lives about 10 miles away from me. And I think someday he's going to host SNL. I said, what's his name? It's Johnny Knoxville. I go, you don't sound like Dolly Parton. Did he say that?

No, I made it up. Sorry. Oh, God. God, we ruined it. I was like, oh, my God, Dolly knows who I am? Shit.

She for sure knows who you are. Who doesn't know who you are, Johnny? I mean, but you know, my wife, when I first, someone asked for my autograph and my wife, who I've been with since 1950, she goes, oh, you're famous now. It was so epiphanal. Like, yeah, you mean all famous people are just people. They're just somebody who got famous. He goes, oh, you're famous. Wow, you, you're famous. That's unbelievable. I go, thank you, dear. No, she's listening. I'm just a guy from Montana. I'm just kidding. I'm kidding.

sweetheart. Everyone is just someone from somewhere because they go, oh, I'm just from Arizona. I'm from Tennessee. But it's very rare that people are just born in Beverly Hills famous. They're always coming here. Everyone's from somewhere so they never quite believe it's happening. All right, we should let Johnny go. I think he's been a good sport. Johnny, are you on a press junket? You got five hours lined up? No, he's probably done. He's almost done. Are you going to have lunch? I do NPR next.

Oh, you do? Oh, they're exciting. They're exciting. It's good. Get ready for bees and balls questions. Johnny Knoxville will be joining us next on... Tell us again why you wear glasses. Why do you wear red flannels, Mr. Knoxville? Why the red flannel in the dark glasses? Can you show the audience your penis?

Can you now proceed to the plastic punishment room where we will spray with things until you pass out? Hi, I'm MPR. Can I fit my ring finger down your pee hole? Let's give it a shot. You probably could. That was a real question. I broke my penis once. I broke my penis once.

Who hasn't? And I had the catheter for three and a half years afterwards. It was with a catheter. Jeez, did you forget to take it out? Like bigger than a number two pencil. And I'd have to jam that down the head of my penis. Sick. So it hit my bladder. So you could probably get a AAA battery or your pinky in there. We'll see.

But are you happy every day you wake up then and you kind of, oh, maybe get some coffee. Oh, I don't have a pencil up my dick. God damn what a great day it is. No, but after you film a jackass film, like for me, it's like I got to the end of the film and I'm like, I'm still walking. And I'm very, and I'm not even trying to make a joke. That's how, because you go into it, like not knowing how you're going to come out of it. And it's such a relief that, okay, I'm still walking. I'm still, you know,

Have control of my faculty, semi. I can pee without clawing it out of my dick. Is this your mic drop? Is this your last fight before the thriller in Manila? Or is this you don't know yet? Well, I think we could do another one. But if so, I would step back and try to sit next to Jeff behind the camera because I can't. Like, I unfortunately seen my last, you know, got in with my last bull. I think...

If you're out there laughing with everybody, I think it's okay. I think if you're still part of it and you're laughing and you're setting people up, I think as long as you're in the mix. I would love to volunteer to be suspended by a 300-foot crane. Nothing physical. Just suspended by one foot and kind of swing me over Times Square or something. I'm just throwing it out there. I'm available. Yeah.

But I want a really tight knot. I mean, I want to be really attached. I'll do a show with you for ABC Family called Jackass Juniors. And we have little kids and we just push them into trains and walls and stuff. We thought about, you know, we thought about that. It was just like, it was like, you think about it, it's like, oh, that's a terrible idea. But it's funny.

We're going to call it Ask Jack. I have a show called Ask Jack where no one gets hurt and they just have lunch. It's a talk. Anyway, it doesn't matter. All right. Yeah, it's called Ask Jack's Delight. It doesn't matter now. My agent will contact your people. Anyway, Johnny Knoxville, loved hanging out with you. You're a great guy. You're always nice, quiet in person, nice dude out when I see you. Very cool. And thanks for coming on. It's a pleasure. I really sincerely appreciate you having me on.

Thanks, guys. Next week, we've got John Lovett. Hello. Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. Production and engineering led by Greg Holtzman, Richard Cook, Serena Regan, and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.