Fred Armisen
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's because they're naked. Well, it's like the 1800 time you say on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there. I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it.

Fred Armisen. When I think of Fred, I think of sweet and nice. Yes. When I think of David. Porcupiney. I'll get back to you. Look at this I got on my phone. What's up?

It's just audio, isn't it? I got to take this. I got to take this. Yeah. Uh-huh. Oh, a million Deutschmarks. No, bitcoins. No, flip it for polka dot. Okay. Sorry, I had to take that. Fred Armisen. You better get a show on Netflix. You got a lot. No, everyone makes fun of my phone because it has that. So I really stepped into it and just said, no, I owned it. Fred Armisen, sweet.

I just saw a sketch of his I'm going to ask about, but I just saw a sketch of his that's hysterical. He's got a... And he was in the bubble. Fred's in the bubble, and I didn't recognize him because he's wearing a wig. And I said, oh, are you playing a character? I don't know how acting works. Anyway. Fred is extremely versatile, and his...

His thing is music. He's a real musician and he's a real drummer. Oh, yeah. He would sit in on Seth, right? His comedy is always very rhythmic and musical. What about mine? Yours is you're the king of snark. That's it? After all this time, that's all I get? Didn't they used to call your brand of comedy snarky? Yeah. You know, Dan Aykroyd said snarky and I never had heard that term.

I mean, I don't know when it came up. And that was way, way back when I was on the show. He goes, you got snarky down, kid. And I was like, snarky? I thought it was a Canadian word. I don't know. I like when an adult, he's like 18 months older than me. Listen to me, kid. He seems older because he was such a legendary. We took over Spin Magazine for a month at the old SNL. And I got to interview Danny Aykroyd. Oh, yeah. All right, sir. Fair enough, sir. And talking about Moonballers and all the cool things I liked.

Fred Armisen. Fred Armisen. We keep getting drifting off. Does every dialect. He does every musical style. And he's just everywhere. He works like crazy. He's always in stuff. Yeah. You know? And we got to sit down with him. And now you get to. So plug it in.

crank it up and break it off squeeze it hone it shine it pluck it wax it smack it on the bomb freddy armisen freddy armisen go

It feels like, Fred, you're the first cast member. Are we starting or is it... Start this shit. Wait, can you hear me okay? Like, is the mic working okay and all that stuff? I can hear you. Unfortunately, yes. Can you hear me, Fred? Yes. Crystal clear. Can you hear Spade? Can you... Can you... Me...

Now, Fred. I can't trick a trickster. Bits. Of all the cast members of SNL, you had the widest range of ethnicities, or whatever the word would be, that you could play.

Like you could play like any, anything from all over the world. What was that about? It's just that, um, keep your answer to one hour. Exactly. My mom's Venezuelan. So, uh, and my dad is, um, half Korean and half German. So I think that there were, you know, they're, they're immigrants. So I think somewhere in there, as far as the DNA goes, that that's how it worked. You're all over. Yeah. But you're not offending anyone because you're, you're,

a part 1% of something. So yeah, that's a good idea. And it just, that's just how it worked out. And you know how it is over there. Like when they have, you know, a role for you in one of the sketches, you just, you know, try to do it. You know, I played Tony Montana and a sketch. Hmm.

you know i don't know if i can do that now i was i whenever i do that because i enjoy doing scarface the tony montana accent i go i'm doing al pacino's bizarre cuban accent and that seems to relax people like i'm not making a statement about right people from from cuba it is it is tough if you're just trying to mimic something or mimic a look which is the whole thing and

Some are offensive and some aren't when you're just going, I'm just trying to do my best to represent that person, whatever that is, voice, hair, face, wigs. And then sometimes a wig will be counted as offensive or something about it will be offensive. And then more and more as time goes on with me and Dana, not, not as bad with you. Maybe it was a little tougher. A little, but then I'm, I think it just got tougher as the casts kept going. So as the years kept going, that kept changing and it probably will keep changing. Yeah.

It's getting tougher for sure. I think so. But I think there's stuff I've looked up with other, I call them bandmates, your bandmates from that era with Line Em Up. It was as good as any cast by far. I mean, you had Maya, you had Amy.

You, Seth. You had Billy Hader. Yeah. You had Jason Sudeikis. So you had an all-star. Andy Samberg. And you guys could get away with a lot in 2005, I think. Yeah. Not so-called getaway. You could expand your comedy appetites, and then it did evolve into wherever it is now. And get away with stuff. And get away with it. Sounds kind of negative, David. No, but listen. First of all, I apologize. My voice is so sexy, but I think I might...

I don't know. What? You may have COVID. No, I don't. I don't because I did. No, Fred, stop spreading the rumor. I, I went to James Corden yesterday and they gave me a test, so I don't have it, but I just feel, you know what? I just, I'm a hard worker. That's my crime. Oh, I work so hard. I'm going to do my, Fred, you get it. My Christoph Waltz. I'm doing my new Christoph Waltz impression talking about that. So you're a hard worker. Yeah.

And that's when I was in Dusseldorf, people would say I looked like a crazy person on the street. And this is just him in real life. He's not even... He's like, you're kind of like him, Fred, in a way. Like, you hit these rhythms. You do stuff that makes me so happy. And I don't like rankings anymore because people ask us, what's the best? What's the second? I'll just say you're one of my favorites because you're...

You never pushed their all such quirky stuff.

And even you and Bill Hader's Italian, fake Italian guy, which I love that sketch. Just how you just, you're playing it so real. It just says the guy eating. Like I could listen to that forever, but shall we go back to the beginning? But Dana, coming from you, I mean, you know, like walking the halls of SNL, you just came up all the time as like the gold standard of SNL.

how to have like an incredible first year. I cannot believe even your first year. Oh yeah. He came out of the gate cold open and never looked back. Once I had the late, once I had the lady, I, I was, I was okay. But, uh, you came in as a feature player. So, and also it was different back then that the show, there was only six of us.

Me, Phil, John. What? Of main players. No wonder you got fed. Six little birds in the nest? Yeah. You got so many worms. Michael Winslow.

You fucking made fun of me on Kimmel. I'll talk to you after the class. I did it once because you're a fan favorite on Kimmel. And then every time I did it, they laughed. So, you know, I'm a comedian. So I'm like, it's like, okay. I go, I'm David. I'm sad. Grr.

that's pretty good actually anyway but but david i did not mean also i i doesn't i didn't want to overlook the fact that you how great you were on snl as well i didn't need to swing back

back just you didn't want to gloss over that no thank you buddy but i will give it up that data was the gold standard when i got there he was already crushing it and then he just with characters and mow down yeah yeah thank you we're recording right this is recording okay good just want to make sure put it for your clip reel this is called gold no but uh i don't know where to start with you and i want to get to a lot of things i hope you don't have much to do today um

I have like, I think four minutes and then we gotta, we gotta wrap it up. Oh, you got a hard, fast. I have a question for him, Dana, before he gets, before you get to really young stuff, he hasn't really answered anything yet. Uh,

We just talk over them. But Fred, one of my favorite things that I did not see live, but I saw today was such a great monologue when you, when you acted out you doing a play about how you got SNL. Yeah. Like a one man show. Yeah. It was so, it was so weird and quirky and interesting. And I loved how Dana, he does Lauren's voice in it.

And of course he does it really horribly and nothing like Malone. Like a mafia boss or something. Yeah, he does. I went to his office and he's like, hey kid, come on. That's all written by Seth Meyers. That monologue. Oh, for real? Top to bottom. Oh, it was great. Because I thought, I just, you know, when you do that, I picture it at read-through. Sometimes monologues for people at home don't get put up at read-through because they're not even...

written until Friday. But if you do it at read-through, I was thinking, fuck, he's got to move around and stand up. Yeah, yeah. Read-throughs where you move around are tough.

Yeah. You can lose the crowd quickly. Also, Dana. Or in the performance on Wednesday. Fred would go, because you walked off the stage and you went up to someone in the audience. Yeah. What did you ask her? Don't answer. You know, like, what do you think? What do you think? What do you think? What do you think? And she just, that was a real person, right? Yeah, that was a real person.

Yeah. Yeah. And then she doesn't know what to say. So she finally goes, you think I'm lying? You think I'm lying? She goes, no. And you go, don't answer. Please don't ruin it. Part of the show. And then you keep asking her and she just says something else and you go, God damn, you ruined it. You walk back.

All that was so funny if you want to look it up. Thanks. But what I was going to ask you guys is where at read through, what space did you go to to do stuff where you had to walk in? Because you know how difficult it is around a table. Where were you when you had to sort of act something out? It was kind of over by...

Cheryl Hartwick on the piano. There was just a little wedge of a space there. Yeah. And I did one once. I really didn't like to do it because it felt like you're trying too hard, but I did one once with Ben Stiller.

playing Bono. I was playing the edge and Dolly Parton had to stand up and we stood and did our little sketch there. You know, that was the one I remember for you. Did you stand up a lot or move around in the, I'm the same. Like I did not like to do it. Cause it was just also, you know, three sketches before you're sort of thinking, okay, where do I have to go? Where do I have to walk to? And then like, but it was sort of over by, by,

this is kind of by the piano, but in between those doors, there's like a main, these two main doors before you go into that writer's room. Yeah.

in there looked like a little bit of a stage kind of. Yeah. But God. Oh, the entrance to the writer's room. Yes. Kind of, kind of in front of it towards the table. But we had so many fucking people jammed in read-through room. I mean, it was, if people at home can picture like a big sort of square where everyone sits around all the main cast and Lauren and the host. Yeah. Host and Lauren were by the window. I got to sit next to the host when Dana left. But before that, I think I sat behind Dana. Yeah.

And then do you know where you were in that thing? Cause it was like three deep, like people were stacked in there. At the table. I was diagonally across to the left. And I think I was at the same place every year, which I liked. I was like, once you pick a place, you kind of stay there. And, and, you know, for people at home again, it's, uh,

it's like three or four deep and you have every department, you have a rep from every department. So wigs will be watching a sketch like you do. And you see him scribbling going, Oh, this is going to fucking suck. This guy has eight wigs in here. And then music, if you need them, Cheryl hits the piano or maybe geez in there and they help a bit, but you're right. It, it, you know what? It, it,

You don't want to be sweaty. No. And so if you get up to do a bit, everyone's like, this better be three times as funny as it was sitting down. Yeah. Cause you've got to walk up to that spot. That's the hard part. You got to like a five hour read through and everyone's like, what are you doing? Cause you're snaking through with your little script and oh, he's moving up there now. Excuse me. Excuse me. Let me get the ukulele. And it's, it's, if it bombs, it's even 10 times more sickening. Awful. Dead silence.

Yeah, that was on a nerve scale of one to ten. I mean, where was read-through compared to the actual show? I mean, it had its own terrors. I mean, you know, it went so long that sometimes it just got, you know, you just get sleepy as it's going. Five hours, right? Yeah, yeah. Four, five hours? That kind of dissipates after a while. But it's the build-up up to your sketch that, you know...

Oh, you see it coming and you're like, oh no. And then something kills right before it. Oh my God. Just fucked me. Oh my God. Yeah. I'd see like right before it, it's like Adam's new song. I'm like, no, come on, give me a chance. Or something where you think it's brilliant. Something that you think is brilliant. And then when you get there, it's the exact opposite. And,

And that silence is the worst. Yeah. When they don't bite in the first joke that you think is really great. You think the premise has been set up and you get your first thing and it's, it's less than nothing. No, there's, there's disdain. So consciously in the room, you were waiting on nine pages of pain. Yeah. When Tom Davis, well, no names, but when Tom Davis would write like a 17 pager, um,

And some of them really worked. And if it doesn't work by page four, and you feel the whole wave just tap out, everyone leans back. Yeah. And you just go, oh, and if you're in it or if you wrote it and you're like, please, God, let me just go on the next one. Don't even, don't do this to me because I don't want to be like, yeah, just swinging hard. And everyone already just said, no, not on this one. No, nobody, even your best friends are like, it's not clicking. And they kind of were quietly going. Yeah.

So Fred, since we're on SNL, because you were on it, so you come in as a feature and then in two seasons, you go to the main company. How was that journey? How did that change? And what begot that? I felt lucky to even be there at all. You know, even that first show, I didn't know that I was going to get on, you know? So, yeah.

I kind of liked, there was like less pressure to be a feature player. Just this kind of like, it's okay if on a couple of shows I play an elf or something.

Or you're not on at all. That happened. That happens a lot. Yeah. And we had a lot of cast members. So it's kind of nice. I kind of liked sort of easing into it. And then, you know, however many, that was like two years later, it was like a nice, I don't know. It's like, it's a good feeling to, oh, I guess I'm actually part of the cast. But it all felt like just a lucky break every step of the way.

And not exaggerating, even the audition. Even the audition, just being there up on, you know, where people do the monologues.

I was like, I cannot believe I got this far. Terrifying. Can't believe that I'm actually on the stage in front of Lorne Michaels. I was starstruck by Lorne Michaels. And they sit in those little seats where the audience at home sits during the monologue in the little chairs in front. And the theater's empty. The studio's dead empty. And it's a death march. What were the... I don't really know your journey...

Uh, just to go back a little bit, well, I, cause I want to talk about your music career and your, your music, musician, musicianship. I just had a little pop earlier. He's a musician and drummer. And, and then you start, did you, how did you get your stuff together that ended up auditioning? Were you going to theater groups for three years or what was that journey from music to comedy? Um,

I was doing music for a long time, like all through my twenties, I was in a band and that's all I was going to do. We broke up. And then I started making videos of me interviewing bands and stuff as different characters. Yeah. I'm sure they were weird. It was weird. And, you know, and I knew the band, so it was just a little, it was kind of, and all of a sudden that video and it was on VHS, like sort of made the rounds and,

And I started to, um, uh, I would be asked to be on some variety show, you know, some like Cornelius, Cornelius street, you know, something where there's a couple of comedians and some music. And, um, I just started doing characters. I just, uh, I did this, uh, one character who I auditioned with Fedecito, like a Timbali player. It was like Tito. Yeah. And yeah, that one. And then, uh,

Somewhere in there, it fit into stand-up shows. So there would be all these regular stand-ups, and in it, there would be this one weird thing. I would just do a character. I don't think there were any jokes.

And that was something that I could, um, sort of use as an act. And then Bob Odenkirk. So I started doing this at Largo in LA and I would do Fedecito. I did this self-defense expert. I did a bunch of, um, characters and, you know, this scene was like where like Zach Galifianakis was, Nick Swardson. Oh, Largo was great. Yeah. Largo is amazing. It was kind of like the only place I performed at. And then Bob Odenkirk, uh,

had me on a pilot for a variety, a sketch show called Next for Fox. It was just a pilot. And I did these characters and, you know, there were sketches with, you know, everyone, there was like, you know, a cast and everything, but I had enough, the pilot didn't go, but I had enough video to send to SNL.

So we sent to Odenkirk help you with that because he's a big deal at us. No, he really, he's responsible for me having all that, all of that together. And before that, I was just, just at Largo. He was the one who sort of made the work that I did legitimate to be on a Fox pilot. Sure. And he could spot that you were good.

He, yeah, he was. He's great too. He knows all that shit. He's amazing. Goes and does like three other great sketch shows. Yeah. Incredible. Yeah. And then from that video, this, um, we sent it into SNL and, uh, Marcy Klein saw it. She sorted to Lauren. And then next thing I know, Marcy, uh, who's going to be on our podcast. She's coming on. Yeah. She knows where all the bodies are buried. Oh yeah. I mean, she really, you know, made sure that Lauren saw it.

The video. Yeah. And from there, then I just, you know, came into audition and I just did this. Was that like five years? Sorry. Just that timeline of what? Between musician and... No, it's like four. It's like four. So let's... Of...

Yeah, something like that. It was 2002 is when I got on the show. And then 99 is like kind of when I was making those videos. Like 98, 99. So yeah, whatever that is. Were you ever a straight, I'm sorry, a straight stand-up? Never. You just came on. I don't want to say variety act because it sounds like you're reducing it too much. So as characters, you'd go on and do, but that's hard to find stage time if you don't go in and say I'm a stand-up.

They don't know what to do with you, right? Yes, but there are venues and shows going on that where it works for the show. So if there's like, if, you know, Patton Oswalt and Paul F. Tompkins and Karen Kilgara for doing a show, it's like the one little weird thing at the end that kind of works with the rest of the show. So that was like my... A little paprika at the end, yeah. Yeah. That was like my sweet spot. So...

So I did the audition as Fedecito, that timbale player, and I did him doing impressions and characters. So this way, there's like a way in. He does Liberace. Yeah, yeah. I did Sam Waterston from Law & Order. Can we hear a 10-1 line of that? I can't even picture it. That's such a subtle one, isn't it? The trial judge heard the testimony. Why didn't you call 911?

Why didn't you call the police? Like this, you know. Oh yeah. That's awesome. He just has something like his teeth or something. There's the way that, that it's in his, it's in like his skull. It's very trebly too. Yeah. Almost garbly. Yeah. I kind of want to ask you, cause these are things that pop into my head. It's like your musicality and your,

All that. I mean, it's obvious it's informing your comedy. And is that... How do you find that connection? Like, when I was a guest host, you wrote a really funny musical.

musical thing we're in and I was watching you just tap it out on some little computer and yeah just like I don't know if there's been a cast member who was really a musician like you were and a brilliant drummer I thought we'll get to that later but how does that inform your your stuff or is it just a completely separate part of your brain no no it's just intuitive

It's completely, it was the only thing I knew, you know, like being in bands for that long. That's all I knew was music. And, you know, I did have aspirations to, you know, I definitely had ambition to be on TV, but I was just in bands for so long that that's the only, that's all I had was, you know, the music.

I could do parodies of songs or of a style. The one that we did that you're talking about was like a parody of just like new wave music. The sketch was that there's a Superbowl party. They're watching the Superbowl and then they pause it because like, let's let this new wave band play. So everyone's really upset and it's really new wavy and kind of like, yeah, soft sell or the pet shop boys or something.

Um, but it's just all I knew. And, and just the same way that some people, you know, could talk about their families or whatever, or do impressions for me, it was just music is, is like a crutch. It's like my, my only way in. It's a big plus on SNL. If you can weave in music into something, they love it. Yeah. But like your Sam Waterston is kind of musical. Yeah.

You know, it's extenuating him into these musical rhythms. You know, that's a rim shot. He's like doing a speed, you know, he's like performing for the court, you know. Yeah, but picking that out. It's like you're playing a cowbell. It's one of those impressions where you don't know there's an impression and then you do it and everyone goes, oh, right, okay. Those are good because...

It's hard to break ground in impressions and just come up with a new one. But I think that Lorne is a really musical person. In fact, it's like the first... Thank you. It was like the first... Oh, thank... Oh, hello. It's... Hello, Fred. Hello. Hello, David.

Do you mean as an impression of him or as a person? No, as a person. As a person, I think he's such a music fan that that's where it was easiest for me to connect with him as a person. So for me to talk to him about all the musical guests he's had on the shows...

Interesting. It's such a quick, easy conversation to talk to him about all those music, which I love talking to him about, you know, the bands that he booked. And it's just easy. And he's into it. Like a lot of those were his decisions, booking a lot of those bands. Fred, what do you think of Eagle Eye Cherry? Should we do it? I don't know if the year, but...

Yeah, I did. When I hosted, it was Eagle Eye Cherry. And I go, Marcy, why do I get? I mean, no offense, but I didn't know who that was. And then the next time I didn't. And they go, the formula is big host. We don't need a huge music act. Are you saying I'm a big host? They're like, well, in this situation, it's a little different. No, no, I like the first. I don't want to be the exception to the rule. No. So, yeah, it's fun to have. I always wanted a big band, but.

I remember when both of you hosted. Those were both really great. Did we do something with Miyu and Maya and we were like,

And we were dressed like very snooty and I came to your house or something. Yes. We were, we were this design couple, like this Danish design. So we had all these chairs and the whole job, everything's uncomfortable design of the chairs. Yeah. I love Maya. Maya and I did a song too. Who cares? Um, but back to Fred, Fred, you're going to get to talk toward the end of this.

But I do have another sketch I like, Dana. I'm going to tell Fred just to, you know, boost his ego. Have you ever had someone zone out? A couple. Yeah, a couple of, no, I don't think so. We always have to scream at them for interrupting me and Dana talking when it's their show. So you had one called Kocek, but was that really cut

Is that really, wasn't on air? Yes. That's a Cecily Strong one. That's a great one. But they put it online, which is kind of the same thing now. Oh, it's great. I mean, I wish we had fucking online. Oh my God. I know. Best of Dress? We wouldn't have thought about stuff getting, can you imagine? We used to joke about Best of Dress. Oh, that'll be on Best of Dress because it never gets on. But she was your girlfriend in it?

Yeah. So good. Girlfriend. Wow. Okay. Remember when she kept saying that you go, Hey, we're a couple now. She goes, couple. Wow. Okay. It's so good. That was a really weird one. And it was perfect because it was pretty simple. And you, and Dana, he kept asking for his coat. It's hard to explain. Yeah. I'm like, this is not my coat. God damn. You know how it is. I mean, but it was seemed like it was working.

But I do feel like it made its way on. I mean, Oh, well the fact that I saw it, like, that's great. If anyone can just see it. Yeah. And they, I think they put it online the next day or something. So it's, it has, it had had its own life for sure, but it was brilliant. Sometimes dresses are a little rough on the edges. Cause you don't even know the fucking lines. You haven't done it since Thursday or something or Friday. No, you don't. And you're just doing it live. You're like, I didn't, I rehearsed this once two days ago and we're already in front of a crowd.

it's dress, but you're still like figuring it out. And you're remembering the blocking, the air, you kind of go, okay, I know it a little better. Yeah. Yeah. That's fun. That's the fun of dress. I like that. Yeah. So, I mean, there's also, there are those times where you don't quite understand what, what's happening in the sketch. Like, where am I? What am I in this? Yeah. Do I have an accent halfway through? I did a Jack Handy sketch with Robert Mitchum.

And neither of us knew what the sketch was about. He was a beekeeper in the Himalayas or something. Jack Haney, you know. Did Jack Haney stay around for you guys or no? No, he was gone already. Have you heard about him? Yeah. I mean, also his work is amazing. You know, that really stood the test of time. It's almost like a fake guy. You hear deep thoughts of Jack Haney. People go, wait, is it a real guy? That's what I thought when I got there.

I'm a nibbler, Dana. And I think you are too, but you always know me that I just have to keep the energy going. And I think because I learned from my dad, pistachios are a good source of just, you know, nibble, wake you up.

They're always delicious. I actually named a character in a movie I did called Master of Disguise. The lead character's name is Pistachio. That's how much I love pistachios. Yeah. Well, wonderful pistachios have literally come out of their shells. It's the same taste. It's delicious, but...

It's a lot less work. As you know, cracking them open can be a little bit of a job. Less cracking, more snacking is what I say. That's what I say. That's what you say. And I'm going to use that when my wife goes to the store. Wonderful pistachios. No shells. Flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors, including chili roasted. Honey roasted. Mm-hmm.

Salt, sea salt, vinegar, smoky barbecue, sea salt and pepper is one I like the most. And I'm going to try this jalapeno lime. They don't have a red, red necky flavor just yet. Yeah. Red, red necky loves pistachios. I like to crack things open and put them in my mouth.

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Yeah. David, your camera went dark. I know. David, what are you doing? Heather. Did your lights go out? I probably cut through the fucking. Oh, there you are. You're like fading in. But your sound is good. Jeez, Heather. Wow. Made it worse. Wow. Oh, there you go. There you go.

I didn't think that was possible. You know what? Hashtag mansion probs. Hey, Fred, did you, what was your, uh, uh, your team stuff? What was your favorite? Uh, like, you know, I know you had the Californians, which I was watching that, uh,

I got maybe three weeks ago and you came in and there was, you did it so earnestly. Yeah. Your, your guy. And it just, I don't know. That sketch really kills me. And you did others. Do you remember, do you remember the email I sent you, Dana? I, I do. I, I still can't. I, I, David, this is, you're going to like this. Okay. This is a good, this is a good story. And I've told it before, but it's, it's, it's really good. This,

You know, the Californians, it's all about finding directions in LA. Directions in LA. Everyone talks about directions, right? But I had seen Dana. I was with him and we did a standup show in San Francisco.

And Dana was telling me about his son. And he's telling me about his son. He's just like, you know, it's hard to be mad at him because I think he got pulled over or something. And he does this impression of his son and he goes, no, but no, dad, no, you don't, you don't. And from that, as we were trying to do like a California accent, as we're writing the sketch, this...

that kind of came up. It's like, no, but dude, dad. And it's kind of the way that he talks is based on Dana's impression of his son. That's unreal. So I sent him an email before, before it aired. I was like, Hey, just so you know, we're going to do this sketch called the Californians. And,

It comes from your impression of your son. Will you do it? How was your son like do it? I've done different incarnations of it, actually. I'm trying to think. But is this pretty much all we're going to do today?

You know, that's him in the Roman Colosseum, you know, why are you, I like it when young people now say, why are you being so extra? That's the latest thing. Don't be so extra. That's, that's a beautiful use of language, but that, I guess the arbitrariness of that, like,

I think Bill said you got on the soundstage and suddenly you were doing that guy or was it in read through? It's, it was like a common, it was really, it was a bit also we would do at the table. You know, that moment before you're actually reading the sketches, we did it.

Like we would, you know, everyone goes to LA in the summer. So when we came back, we would just start talking like, where were you? Were you in, oh, I was in LA. Like, did you go up Barham? Did you make a left on it? And then they sort of, you know, built up and built, well, we kept doing it. And then I worked with this writer, James Anderson. And I was like, what do we do with this Californians? What can we do with these directions? And he was simply like, why don't we just make it a soap opera?

And so it's such an odd call though. I know, but that's kind of like the magic of, this is so corny. It's the magic of working with writers that like, I never would have thought of that. And just to have someone say, let's make it a soap opera and then it's done. But, um, for, for, for standups who write their own material for, uh, utterly. And when you get on SNL and suddenly somebody is handing you something,

And you go, wow, this is great. Yeah. And it just got handed to me. That was revelatory to me. Like, wow. Or taking your idea and greatly improving it. Like, oh, this is so much better. Yes. So it was exhilarating, really, to collaborate. You go knock on anyone's door and you go, will you read this once? We have a second. And they go, even down. He goes, you know what I might.

What I might do is at the end, there's something funny about if you just don't ever say that. And I'm like, oh, okay. Yeah. And then that's all you get. And then you go and you figure it out. But if they can give you anything, just fresh eyes, you know, and they're all smart. So they're all thinking, what's the best for this? That's such a gift. It's hard to get people to write with you. And they care. They care about the piece being good.

So their advice is always the best advice. Oh, I'd see them if you came off something that someone else had written and it worked. There was like a little quick little party. Yeah, they love you. Kind of backstage, like hugging. Oh man, crushed it. So that was a real high for them. And I didn't really realize till later that at least back then, at least half the writing staff wanted to be performing.

as well they just they were they were in the writer's box for a while and then they you know like bob odekirk you know yeah and then he got out of that now they were both on our conan as well they'd write themselves in just little things and it wouldn't seem to work they would just not that they weren't good but they would be replaced maybe we had too many cast members and uh it was very hard it was because i was a feature player very hard to get on

We had too many mouths to feed, and I think that's sort of the norm now, just too many. How many were in your cast? You were in, like, different casts. I feel like you were... Yeah, he was overlapped to me. You, like, a bridge. Yeah. Yeah. It was tough when I got there, because these guys are... Everyone was a fucking...

you know, first ballot hall of famer. And, and so you got, you know, you're going to do something instead of Phil Hartman. No chance. You know, Lovitz was even there for a little bit. Dana and Dennis Miller and Jan hooks and Nora Dunn were both unreal. So, and then they influxed Farley and, and,

Sandler and Schneider's very good sketch guy. Chris Rock. Chris Rock and Tim Meadows. So, you know, it's just not enough to go around. But that's your memory of it as a viewer. I never thought of that. I was never like...

oh, David Spade isn't getting enough. I was always like, did you see the thing that he did on Update? Yeah, all he needed was something for them to remember. Yeah, and then that's the main memory from it. Never did I think that you paid him enough. And it's better to be in almost less than just make him try to work because I told Dana that the first show I came into, they brought you in a day early to watch the show and Lovitz was all depressed. He was only in two things. And he goes, well, Dana's in six. And I go, I said what you said. I said, I've never seen this show and thought someone was light.

Still, I just think there's that guy I love. Oh, that's funny. He's in that. Couldn't even, was never counting lines or sketches. And then when I got there, I fell right into it. I preferred personally like to be in two things maybe. Totally. You know, or a third as a supporting character. Yeah. To shepherd a sketch, even one where you're kind of the executive producer of your sketch. Yeah. It's very nice. That's why, and I was going to ask you about when you hosted, um,

the difference in that because you have to really let it go. You're kind of in, have to prepare 13 or 14 sketches and then six or eight get cut. So what was that like emotionally for,

For you, when you came back, you did 11 seasons at the time, as long as anybody, right? Yeah. Huge run. And then you come back and host and you come out and do your monologue and they're screaming. It's surreal, isn't it? How did you feel about it? I mean, I loved it so much. You know, like what a highlight in life, just in general. Yeah. But the experience, you know, of...

handing everything over. Like I really was like, I was still in the mode of like, oh man, I got to take care of all these sketches, make sure I write this much. And you're doing so much other stuff that everything is taken care of for you. So all these writers are coming up with stuff. I didn't even have time to think. And then it just turned out great on its own. So I really liked that part of it, of just trusting everyone. And then that worked out. And then laser focused on you.

Yes. And they know you, they know what you like to do and what you, you know, what's going to work. It's such a big transition on the show when you, the audience starts to be familiar with you. And I don't know how many shows it takes, but you see people all the time who come on

unknown. And then they, they turn it, turn it better, better, better. The audience goes, I like you man or woman. Yeah. And then it gives you so much more confidence. Yes. Cause you can feel that they're on your side already, as opposed to, is this guy going to make it? Or is this woman going to make it on the show? And so when did you start to feel that like four years in three years in. I, that's what I was going to say. I was going to say like three or four years in, um, I did this judge, uh,

what was his name? Judge Seidlin or something. And something, he was like the Anna Nicole Smith judge, you know? Oh yeah. Something in there felt like I had to work less. Meaning like, I was like, oh, please, please like this. It felt a little more like...

I could come out and update and it was okay. And you're right. Like there's a feeling of there's like a being familiar that I really liked, but something in there, I don't know, three years or something. Yeah. That, that I think is as pretty typical. And when you were out there with your different bandmates, uh,

It seemed like you, you know, obviously had Garth and Kat with Kristen Wiig, who's a supernatural sketch performer. And then you and Bill Hader, just to me, just had a symbiotic thing as well. We did. You just mixed really well. And was he someone you, when you got out there and the band's playing, you get there doing your tie or whatever it is, and you see Bill, he calms you down? I mean, where were you on the nerves scale? I was kind of okay on the nerves scale.

I don't know why. I just enjoyed it and had such a great time. But being with Bill really...

really felt like uh i was really with my friend like we made each other laugh so much and we just identified with each other supported each other something there was something in that relationship where it just was uh really supportive and fun all the way god he made me laugh all the time i mean everybody did but there was something with him that i felt like we were going through uh i don't know the same experience you know being yeah um do you have a favorite writer

James Anderson, because we wrote so much together. We wrote, we just always ended up writing together. But you know, someone, yeah. Yeah. But you know, but when you're there, I mean, there's so many people who are so prolific. I remember when I first got there, seeing Tina Fey's work ethic was incredible. That changed. Just to see how focused someone could be on writing without ego. That was like a real, yeah.

It kind of, I was like, that's the way to be. That's the way to be a writer. She was, God, she was so good. She can churn it out. She can just write great jokes. Just one after the other. Yeah. I don't know. She has some kind of frequency that just, they come to her. She reminds me of Steve Martin in many ways. I don't know why. Yeah. Just kind of put them together in some ways. You know, they write great books and. Yeah. Yeah.

They're intellectuals, but they don't wear it on their sleeve at all. No, there's a humility to it. Yeah. But it's still effortless somehow. They just sit down and then all of this stuff starts coming out week after week. I couldn't believe it. So yeah, she does. But everyone, Seth Meyers is also sort of selfless and works really hard. Like he would just work throughout the whole night.

Were you hired as a writer performer? No, I was just feature player, just feature player. But you know how it is. We just, we write. Sure. I'm just saying, cause Dane and I, we asked people because I was a writer performer. I didn't want to be a writer and they wanted me to be more than they wanted me to be a feature player and Schneider, same thing we hired together.

But Dana was hired straight cast because he's such a home run hitter. And then, but no writing, but that kind of sucks because everyone writes. Yeah. So it's like, who decides it's a weird decision to go. You're not a writer, especially feature. Cause you're just,

scrambling to get on so you have to write an update or something no one even knows you yeah we just accepted it I mean it's really just the platform of being on SNL if you were a main player Phil did get a writing credit because he had written Pee Wee's Big Adventure with Pee Wee Herman oh bad bad apple rotten to the core but I never added that a problem with it but I what when oh yeah remember when he goes I'm a bad bad apple rotten to the core oh yeah that was me Phil was

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So do you mind if we go back a minute and just talk about your drumming? Because I'm just a big fan of drummers and I have favorite drummers. And I loved your special stand up for drummers, for drummers, where you just go through at the Great American Music Hall in San Francisco. Yeah. And all the kits set up and you did all the styles. Yeah. So, so great. Did you get a lot of feedback from other musicians and drummers about how? It's like exactly the same.

first of all thank you that's very very kind of you and um you know i i love drumming so much it's like the biggest part of my life and you know that's how i got into and whatever showbiz or entertainment yeah i just still love watching drummers i still love playing

And, um, the, the things people have said to me, it's like, that was my goal. I was like, I just want something where like drummers can come up to me and feel like they're part of an inside joke that they can, you know, have like a really heartfelt conversation about like, oh man, I'm, I'm a drummer and I know exactly what you're talking about. And it's really, that's really gratifying. And that, um, that whole thing with the drum kits, um,

was just like, it visually looked cool just to have all these old kids and go to the 80s. And you go one after the other and play all these styles. I mean, it's such a singularity as a standup special. It's like completely its own thing. But thanks. Thank you. I love the way you play. I just would call you just very musical. You have a heavy foot.

You're very light on it. You're very organic with it. I just like to watch you play. Some drummers, you can kind of work with them a little bit. Like, are they going to make it with you? I feel very relaxed. Wow. What a thing to say. That's so kind. All sincere. I just wonder, the drummers that inspired you, stood out for you. I mean, people, Pepsi Coke, it's always, for my generation, with a friend of mine, it was Ringo Starr.

or Rolling Stones. Charlie Watts. Charlie Watts. I like you. Like, you have to be one or the other. You're either Charlie Watts or Ringo Starr. That was like back in the 70s. And who were some of your favorites? Well,

My favorite, like the guy who like I really emulated was Clem Burke from Blondie. And the first time I ever saw him was on SNL. Whoa. And he's cause he's like, cause you know, he's he dresses like in a little suit. Like he looks like a mod and his drum kit is set up. Like it's like this red sparkle kit, like a very flat. Yeah. And so the aesthetics of how he was, I was like, that's a great way to be. So he was like, he's like my favorite drummer, but to your point, I love Ringo. I think he's,

I think everybody loves Ringo. I think there's like a myth that like, there's some controversy about it. He doesn't have a bad rap, right? He doesn't rap. He's not good. What's the myth? No, the myth is sort of like, well, you know, he's people talk about him. Like, you know, he's actually a great drummer. Every drummer I know loves Ringo. Even privately. They'll go, no, those are expressive fills. He's great. Everyone loves him. Everyone loves him. You put on, she loves you on YouTube.

live remix and the way he goes to the lower tom I know he's a left handed drummer just this little fill like he did these little fills and they were so electric and he gets shinier and brighter just like the whole band does for me personally I think that it was such a

that is still hitting the sand. We were trying to comprehend why and how that happened. Yeah. That much great music in 72 months with these four guys. Yeah. He was perfect for them. And everyone knows that sound. Everyone knows, you just, you can picture, you can hear his drumming in your head when you think of any of their songs. You know,

Yeah, he stylized to the song. So when you're playing with your bands and you came up kind of Devo, Clash. Yeah, yeah, yeah. All that stuff. That type of sound. Yeah. And what is it? I'm doing Devo going. Don't, don't.

And you're kind of probably a ride-the-pocket guy with some fills or you just- No. How would you describe yourself? Ride-the-pocket guy. Well, the ride-the-pocket is a- Yeah. Like fewer fills. There's this thing that happened in- Fucking lingo alert. Yeah.

Say again. You integrate the fills into the beat. Yeah. That's exactly what I was going to say. In New Wave and in punk, they had this thing where they would do these busy beats, these beats that had toms in them throughout. So it wasn't a fill. It was just like...

So the toms were in it without like a crash at the end of it. It was just like, that's what the beat was. And that's how I learned. Alan Myers from Devo played like that. So yeah, it was just part of the beat. But it was all, none of it was complex music.

time signatures. They were all four, four. So I'm really into like four on the floor. Just keep the kick drum going. I like the simplicity of that, but yeah, it's like busy, but those aren't fills. Can you play to a click track in a studio? Does it throw you or does it help you? It helps. It's frustrating. I'm like, I actually, I don't think I'm great at tempo. I think I speed up.

So sometimes I have to, especially during the pandemic, there was like a lot of stuff that I had to do to a click, but now I'm used to it. So it's frustrating. - So for people who don't know, it's like that, that, that in your headphones and on the fourth beat you come in. - Yeah, and it sounds like this on the headphones.

Is it like looping? It's just so that you don't lose the tempo. You know Lederman over there at Seth? Yeah, yeah. Yes. He's like the producer of Love Strong. Do you find yourself drumming like if you're driving a car or just drumming with your mouth? Yeah.

Yeah. Or tapping away. All the time or tapping on your keyboard, fingers, just doing a beat and stuff like that. Yeah. Me too. Yeah. When you're driving. I just love rhythm. Yeah. Yeah. What about you? Who's your favorite drummer? I don't know. I think over time there is a...

The most mesmerizing thing I watch a couple times a year, there's so many Buddy Rich solos. There's one, I think it's in black and white, whatever. To me, his just technical skill

is so mesmerizing. Yeah. And that solo that he does. And he did it over and over again, but it builds to a certain way. And he's got the snare going from super fast to like just down to nothing and then right back again. And then he's doing all the fills and all the stuff. But, you know, I was listening to Fleetwood Mac the other day because I have a car stereo that blows my mind. And I just go, man, I love Mick Fleetwood.

He has a sound and a pocket that's so simple, but it really weights all that brilliant melody. So I kind of, I go for the band. Yeah, it's so bassy. I mean, obviously John Bonham, everyone says him. I still don't understand him. I don't know where he got his sound, like his kick drum. The value of that with his snare blows my mind. You know, just the sound of it and how it was mic'd. I know. You know?

People keep trying to explain it. People keep trying to explain him, his style or how he got that sound. And I've heard so many different explanations. So I've heard people say, well, he's actually very jazzy and he plays lightly. It's the way he tuned his drums. And I have no idea. I'm the same. I have no idea how he got to be that way. Keith Moon, I love. Keith Moon, I could listen to forever. Love Keith Moon. Just couldn't imagine anyone better.

Who's next? The way he is so busy, but it's so part of the music. Yeah, he's like a genius. He's fun. It's like it's fun to listen to him. Playful and fun. Yeah. Oh, David, I feel bad. We won't talk about drummers. I just, I'm sorry. Jesus. Let's talk about Tinder and how to meet a gal. I'm kidding. I'm looking at his Google. Fear of heights and he feels bad for everyone he's gone out with. I think I have one of those. Yeah.

Are those your quotes? These are quotes, yeah. Fear of heights. I feel bad for everyone you've met. I feel less that way. I mean, that quote's been a while ago, so I feel less that way as time has gone on. I feel like I'm not married, so I feel like I'm not nailing it somehow along the way.

That's not true. That's a, that's, that doesn't have to be the end point because some people do get married and it doesn't work out. Yeah, I know. So, so go easy on yourself on that. I thank you because it is tough because it is, it is, if you really think about it, it's very hard to sync that up perfectly. It's very hard. But I would say that's true. Yeah. And Dana did it right. And that's why I got to deal with Dana because he,

he's had the same beautiful wife. I was a terrible single person. It's just, I would feel so sorry. Cause the, no woman who wanted to be with me was carnal about it. If they want a boyfriend, he's cute, you know? And if I was there for other purposes, but, um,

I really enjoy being married. I like having a friend. You meld into each other. She listens to the podcast. Yeah, she's our eyes and ears. She's my confidant. I run everything by her just because she knows me since 1979. Oh, that's so nice. And she enjoys this podcast. And I go, really? Because I can't listen to myself bloviate. But Fred, can I... Bloviate. You're...

you're an emotional character and you're a sensitive character. And I remember you, like we all are, we're clowns that are wounded, but whatever it, whatever it came from. But I want to ask you first, you, you sent me an email after you left SNL and you kind of said, how do you process no longer being on the show? Speak to that. Yeah. Because like, like I, I like the experience of being an ex cast member because we all get to go back and do stuff, but you know,

Because I used to, or still do, admire ex-cast members. I like how they go on to do other stuff. You know, there's something about that tradition, whatever it is, movies, other TV shows. I was like, what is that life like? And, you know, just seeing how Molly Shannon was afterwards and she'd keep working on stuff. And then just...

Just watching your career, same thing. I was like, what does Dana Carvey do afterwards? And then every year there's a new feeling. Like, okay, I'm still kind of there. I know a lot of those cast members. Then another... I'm talking about SNL. Right. And then it just turns over. A couple more cast members. And in about four or five years, all of a sudden, it's all new people. And you start to see people you do not know. And so...

That feeling, that's what I was asking you about. I was like, what does that look like? What does that feel like? I kind of like it, but every year that goes is just like you're further and further away.

you know, from, from like the, the actual, you know, the blood, the meat of the, of the show. How about hosting when you don't know anyone? It's just so much different because you go, I wish I could host when I was on the show. And you go, I know how this thing works. I know how everyone is and be perfect. First time I hosted, I knew a few people. I think second time I didn't know one person. And then you feel scared. Like, Oh, I feel like a real host for it.

What does everyone do? Who's that person? You know, people talking to me. I don't know if they're a cast member. I don't know if they're a writer. How do you handle it, Fred? When people or other performers or people come up and sort of, you know,

tell you very, very flattering, sincere things. Like you're in that mode now, I'm sure if you run into cast members now somewhere, they would be Fred Armisen, I got to tell you that sketch you did. And it's all, it's all a surreal circle and it's still going.

And the fact that we're, we're part of the continuum is sort of where the gratitude comes in. But how do you handle people? Just Fred Armisen, get out of town. It's so nice. And people are really kind. People are so nice about it. They say all the right things to remember all the sketches that, that, that I love. They love doing deep cuts. Someone will mention, you know, a dress rehearsal sketch. Yeah. I love it because that's the way I was when, you know, I,

I got to meet whoever, Chevy Chase, you know, whoever it is, Lorraine Newman. I'm the same way. So I like that. I like that tradition. And just people are just, are cool. I don't know what it is. When they get excited, it's nice. Also, while they're talking to you, they're figuring out other things you've done or other sketches. And you also, because when they walk away, they go, oh, I didn't even think that.

But that's cool. Like, I just saw your new girlfriend sketch where you played Regina or something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Goddamn, that was funny. Also with James Anderson. That was like an intellectual. I just like, you know, someone... It's... That's...

people who don't like to do small talk, like every conversation has got to be deep. Yeah, exactly. I know. That premise is just so great. And it's well done. Rather than just church lays out there. She's a religious nutball. No, it's fine. I mean, every era has its own style. It's just evolution. Once you get to SNL, even back when I was there, you're going,

fuck, every sketch has been done, you think in your head. Right. And then it's been 20 more years of just new sketches, but it's hard to crack the code. It's like writing a song. You go, this is kind of like that one they did. This is kind of, it's hard. I know. And the game of which cast was the best. Yeah. Forget all that. Yeah. The current cast is always the best. I agree. And also for every cast, there's always a great enough people in it that you could pick out stuff that is, you know,

Yeah. That's fantastic. And I still watch writers. They still look at, I know Dan Bula is a writer there. That's the only one I think I know, but these guys come up, I watch the sketches, even if somehow it doesn't work,

I look at the writing and go, shit, man, that was a good idea. Or they did it pretty well. There's still good stuff. And they probably get hammered right now about it. Because every present cast, people are mad because the old one's gone. Yeah. But I watch all the time. If you can do... You were kind of like a jazz player. I'm just using words loosely. But if you can do dry, smart stuff and make it kill with huge laughs, that's always a real rush.

There's some things are more rock and roll and more high energy and pushed. And some are kind of subtle and a little different, but when the, when you hook the audience on SNL and one of those, it's really fun. I got it with Carson. That was, it was a very, for my part in that sketch was very dry. Did you have some favorites kind of, it's hard to ask people their favorites. I don't mind like, um, the way you envisioned it and the way it turned out, you know, I think, I mean,

Because the thing is, as much as I could take credit for it, I got to give credit to Lorne. That's why it's easy to talk about. We do too. He's the guy who, on paper, it looks like it's not going to work. And he's the guy who goes, let's put it on and see if it's going to work out. And for me, it was like this...

comedian I used to do on Update who had no punchlines. He just would open up a newspaper and just point out the headline. Can you do that on command? Can you do 10 seconds of it? It's just kind of like, you know, pick up the New York Times. He interrupts himself. Yeah. And it's just him going like, look at this. Congress is going to donate, it's going to have like $8 billion for the Ukraine. You can't. What? You can't. There's no...

On any other day, if any of us, and he just keeps going until there's no punchline. It's just pointing things out and being outraged. It's really fun. Then another headline. Anyway, God, it sounds like I don't mean to pat myself on the back about it. I feel bad. You got to like some of them. Come on. No, that's a skilled thing. If you try to do it yourself, it's difficult.

It's kind of a skillful... Well, if you can get a weird bit like that and get it to work, it's a fucking huge victory. Yes. And the fact that they put it on update, I just feel like there's no jokes in it. But we do give Lorne credit for stuff like you just said. That he will go for the really weird, dry things sometimes. He likes the rock and roll things. He likes a mix. He likes big laughs. But he also...

Let's just see if it works. Everyone has a Lauren impression officially. What, what, what's your take? I like doing the one, uh, I like doing the one of the, of like the warm greeting. So like if, if everyone comes out to dinner, you know, uh, there's this thing that he does where he sort of, uh, is super polite. And if he saw you, he'd say like, hello, Dana.

Hello, David. Like a very warm... Yes, that's a frequency I've not heard. Uh-huh. No. Everyone always is doing this. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, yeah. No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. You know, that's an exaggeration of Lorne backpedaling because you misunderstood what he was saying. All I'm saying is that this and that. Oh, you mean we shouldn't put it on? No, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And then you get them back.

And then you get them back. But you can't imagine SNL without Lorne. I just think he's the, he's obviously the linchpin sensibility wise. I think the, the Ivy league guys come in,

And they respect his intellect. They respect him as a smart person. And he has that. And he also likes, you know, stand-ups that kind of shoot for the fences. Yeah. Before we go, I always... No, we don't have to wrap up because I'm having so much fun. But I always like to ask our guests three things. Sure. Just to... I like to put Fred...

I'd like to put you at like, you know, eight, 10, 11 years of age. So a toy, and you don't, if you don't have to answer, you don't have a toy that you remember that you really liked as a kid, a bicycle that you might've got and any music or television show or film that really rocked your, blew your mind.

In those formative years. So you're saying eight, well, like what grade is that? Well, I always say five to 12 is the formative years. So like kids, like being a little kid. Yeah. I had Rock'em Sock'em Robots to get you started. They didn't last long, but that really blew my mind. Rock'em Sock'em Robots. I would say...

I think I really liked, I had like $6 million man action figure. Yeah. And it had, there you go. It had so many details to it. Like you could add so much to it. Yeah. Yeah. Put on little helmets. Yeah. Little helmets. And then like the eye and the eye, you know exactly what I'm talking about. The eye, like you could look through the eye and it sort of like blinked. It had like a, it didn't have a light, but like a sort of lens. And then if you rolled off his skin off of his left arm, it,

There's the mechanics of his bionic arm. Yeah.

It was really cool. It took a lot of imagination because it looks cool, but it doesn't really do much. So you've got to kind of make your own scenarios in your head, which is good. Would you put it in dirt and stuff and make a little trench? Yeah, it would be like a little, I don't know, like a rocket ship. Some rocket he was in, you know, I don't know. Some vehicle of some kind. So there were a lot of things you could get for it that I really liked. Bicycle, I had like an...

I'm thinking of the word Apollo. I had an Apollo something like a yellow one with like a banana seat. I grew up in the suburbs of New York and I remember endlessly riding with my friends and I was really young, but there was no sense of like, Hey, be careful. None. Tell us where it was just not a helmet in sight. Nothing. You know, main streets like with traffic and me and my friends would just ride around and forever.

All afternoon. Not even be careful. Nothing. Oh yeah. Nothing. Yeah. And wipeouts. You just had to get home like squeak, squeak, squeak. Your legs bleeding. Yeah. Wasn't it? If you can look back at it in a sense, memory say that way, when you had your, I had a stingray kind of a knockoff, but you get on your bike.

and Saturday morning and you start going and the wind in your hair and you're, you're pedaling this bike. And then if you go shoot hoops or run around a park or a school, your bike's just tilted over and you go and you get your bike with your friends. It's just sort of magic. Yeah. Yeah. And the aimlessness of it, like also being with your friends and you're just, yeah. You know, yeah. Going up hills and yeah. Yeah. Yeah. That's it. Just like laughing with them when it's not a school day and you've got the whole day to see what's going on.

It's getting dark. I remember the getting dark part. That's kind of like, all of a sudden it's like, there's no lights and your friends look different in the light. You know, you got to get home. You're supposed to get home and it's getting darker and darker. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. The best, the best. It's funny that there's dirt involved. I feel like there's a lot of dirt, like fields. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Park where there was mud. Someone made a little dirt jump. Yeah. Yeah. I could do a wheelie. I could do a wheelie for like a quarter mile.

Really? If you had that kind of a very light chain? Yeah, I had a BMX bike. So once I got up, I was a skateboarder too. I don't know if that helped, but I could do a goddamn wheelie. And I thought it was King Cock. I had medium dick energy. King Cock? Was that a doll that you had too when you were 10? You know, like King Cock. That would have been a great doll. You know, Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program?

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and hasta luego so it goes out of your head so now you have rosetta stone david tell them about it well dana you know more than anyone trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users in 25 languages uh i mean my gosh they have spanish french italian german i don't think you can throw them a curveball i think they're gonna know what don't they have the language you want yeah

It immerses you in many ways. There's no English translations. You know what I'm saying? I know no English. You need a Rosetta Stone for English. No English translation, so you really learn to speak and listen and think in that language. That's the whole idea of Rosetta Stone is that it sticks to your head. It sticks to your brain. I learned German out of a book. It just doesn't stick as hard, so this is the way to do it. Just don't type.

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There's a true accent feature. It gives you feedback on your pronunciation. Yes. And of course, there's desktop app options. There's an audio companion and ability to download lessons offline. Yeah, so that's great. Lifetime access to all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off. A steal! And I do think that the off-label thing that... I'm ad-libbing now, going off script.

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You just visit rosettastone.com slash fly. That's 50% off, unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com slash fly today. You know, Dana, I think we have a connection. We've been friends for a long time. And for this episode of Fly on the Wall, we've partnered with eHarmony.

which isn't us. eHarmony is a dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. We are not dating. I want to clarify that. But the connection is what you want in a dating partner. Just someone like, if you found someone that listened to this podcast, that's somewhat of a connection. And then you sort of build on that. You want someone with some common ground. Yeah. It's not, look, if you want to connect romantically over, you know, super fly or fly on the wall, yeah.

It just makes us happy. You don't want to be watching The Godfather and the person next to you goes, this movie sucks. So dumb. Yeah. You want to connect on all issues and harmonize in life. Similar sensibility, similar sense of humor, and similar sense of sense. I don't like when they watch The Godfather and they're like, everyone in this movie is so old. I'm like, they're 40.

Watch 2001 Space Odyssey. Too much of this movie is in outer space. I don't like it. When do they land? When do they land? Why is that stupid red light acting so silly? Who's friends with a robot? We know dating isn't easy. That's why we partnered with eHarmony because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find someone who gets you, someone you can be comfortable with.

Yeah. I mean, the whole idea is you're going to take a compatibility quiz, helps your personality come out in your profile, which makes all the profiles on eHarmony way more interesting and fun to read. So I think this is the goal of dating sites, and I think eHarmony does it great. It's just finding somebody you're compatible with.

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So Fred, also just, I like either TV shows or movies that blew your mind between 8 and 12, whatever. I don't know if this was 8 and 12. I think it might be. It could be 13. There's no hard, this is just a conversation starter. For some reason, Planet of the Apes jumps out at me. Yeah. Of like the idea that like, I thought about Planet of the Apes all the time.

So there was the movie, but there was still this sort of, there was still like in my head, I'd be like, wow, the Statue of Liberty and wow, they took over. And, you know, there were these intelligent. Dude, when you saw the Statue of Liberty at the end, were you like, what the fuck? Yeah. That was unreal. I was like this. Yeah.

No way. Where are they? I know. Rod Serling, I guess, came up with that. Did you notice after the spaceship crashed that they walked across the desert for like 20 minutes having philosophical arguments? Yeah. Charlton Heston and the two astronauts. And then they reveal...

The monkeys riding horses. Yeah, with the nets and they're all grabbing them and stuff. With the nets and the music. Yeah. That was, you know, Bill Hader, your bandmate, he mentioned his one was Taxi Driver. What? Yeah, that's the movie that blew his mind. He saw it when he was young. I mean, very dark. No, I saw it when I was probably 25. I was a grown up. I was a grown up writing.

I wouldn't understand how crazy that was. I didn't know me scared or sad or something. Yeah. Bill would have been like 10, 10 years old or something, but he always, you know, I was like powder, you know, I'm like very sensitive. So I couldn't handle those movies. Yeah. I saw a taxi driver. I can't blew my mind. No. Bill Hader. Yeah, I know. No, no, no. This voice is so interesting. Yeah.

And then he, he went into a Daniel Day Lewis in, um,

there will be blood that was, his voice was so transformed because his speaking voice, you don't, wouldn't imagine he'd have such a range that he has. Yeah. Cause he's kind of like, Hey, how are you? And he's, yeah. It's not enough that I, but, um, no, what about, what do you, what do you think goes on in, in, in Bill's skull? Like where, why can you do that? Like, what can, why can he do that with his voice that he can go that deep, but he talks up here. Yeah.

That's unique. I think that's kind of unique. That's a real physical, it's like there's talent, but there's something physical going on. Like something's wrong with him. Yeah. Yeah. He can go into Howard Stern like really deep. Yeah. He goes really basic. I found that really hard. And I found, which a guy you did too, Obama difficult for a long time. Oh, your Obama is great. Because the baseness, but I finally got it. That's what we got to do. Think about Obama.

You got to stay calm. We're going to be fine. There's no reason to panic. No one's got to do a thing. So I finally do them now, and now I feel like I got them. But back in the day, it was like so down here. We didn't know them as well, I guess. No, when I first four years, I did them, didn't work at all. Even his second term, a little more, but I can do them now and everyone...

he's successful we love him he's no drama Obama so he's just to me he's just the coolest guy that's what he was save the drama for Obama did you watch any for music since you're a musician one last question what was your first like record you bought or the love you mean as a little kid as a little kid I bought

Do you want to know a secret as a 45 in 1960? Yeah. Cause I want to hold your hand was sold out. Yeah. It was, do you want to know a secret? And I don't know if it's please, please me. I don't know. Anyway, 45. Yeah. Wait, listen, do you want to know a secret? Do, do, wait, where did, where did you grow up? I, I from Montana, but I grew up in the peninsula, San Carlos, 20 miles South of San Francisco.

And the Beatles came on Ed Sullivan and I went down to this little record store. I must've stole some quarters from my dad's pants. I don't know where I got, I think it was 50 cents for a 45. And I remember it was, I was disappointed because I wanted, I want to hold your hand. And I saw her standing there, you know, but I had three older brothers, so they probably had them already. I don't know why. I just picture you for you. I picture you buying LPs for some reason. Yeah.

Later, yeah. In the very beginning, we were buying both, but all of us were buying albums later. And my brothers were. They were older than me. But in the beginning, it was a 45. Wow.

Wow. Kind of hip. I know I'm so old, Fred. You wouldn't believe it, Fred. I go way back. Don't let this face fool you. Wow. So you were getting 45s. In early days. And I bought a Beach Boy album with my brother. And we had a band called The Surfers. And my kick drum was a clothes hamper. And my Hardy Boys book was my snare drum. And I stole drumsticks from Mickey Hart's drum store. The guy was in the Grateful Dead.

Wow. Yeah. Welcome to my podcast. What's your first drum set, by the way? Like...

Like a weird mix. I think a Japanese made sort of, I think it was like a knockoff of a Gretsch. So it had that sort of, you know, pearl inlay to it, but it was like fake and cheap, but it was, it was, but it was great. I loved it. I love my, my kid. It was like a, you know, we got it used. My dad got it for me.

And first record, I think my parents got me The Candyman by Sammy Davis Jr. Oh, really? Yeah, yeah. That's like the first memory of me. I mean, I think I was really little, but I think that's right. The Candyman. Yeah, it's a great one, though.

Yeah. It is great. Yeah. Yeah. Oh yeah. Sammy Davis was genius. There's a documentary on him, you know, just, and so such a great drummer and great dancer. Talk about entertainer. And then my parents would get me Beatles albums during the seventies. Like they were already broken up, but then I'd get solo albums and stuff like that. Which one rocked your world? Ram. Yeah. Paul McCartney. Ram. Ram. Ram is, that's my favorite album ever.

Really? That's a masterpiece. Yeah, I love that album. Yeah, it is brilliant. That is probably his best solo album. McCartney? He had gems on every album. I don't even know Ram. I love McCartney. That's how much I love him. It's this 1971 album that is, boy, that blew my mind. I still listen to it. It's like a weird, it's like a hip, it's like a weird, like country-ish, hippie kind of, it's an experimental album, I would say.

And he won't play those on his tour, right? No. I don't think I've ever heard one song from that album. Are you familiar with Arrow Right Through Me from Back to the Egg?

I think that's... Ooh, baby. I think... It's one of his best songs. Because that horn part... Oh, cool. The horn part at the end is insane. Wow, this is making my day, Fred. Because it turns around weird. Like, it doesn't land on... Yeah.

Yeah, Arrow threw me. God, it's so good. Oh, got it. Fred, you made my day. Someone else knows Back to the Egg and Arrow. Oh, come on. Come on. Jeez, that's awesome. This is the greatest podcast ever. Anyway, Fred.

We love you. We just say that now. I'm old enough now. I just say I love you to grown men. I love the both of you. I admire the both of you. I look up to both of you and I love hanging out with you guys. Thank you for chatting, buddy. It's a lot of laughs. And let's have a lazy dinner one of these nights in LA somewhere. We'll run into you at Largo. Yeah, I feel like the three, both of you, I feel like we do run into each other once in a while.

I bet we did. Through Largo and this sushi restaurant we go to right near Largo. I like you never say it. It doesn't matter. Well, I don't know if I'm supposed to say it. There's no one there. If you go with Sandler or Conan, there's nobody on the street with cameras. It's just very mellow. Great place to have a conversation and hang out. Fred will go and Dana will buy.

Okay. Please do. Oh, baby. Thank you, Fred. Oh, I love it. And you did the horn part at the end. Oh, I love that part. Yeah. So much fun, Fred. Thanks for asking me to do this. This was awesome. All right. Love you, brother. Love you. Okay. Bye-bye.

Hey, what's up, flies? What's up, fleas? What's up, people that listen? We want to hear from you and your dumb questions. Questions, ask us anything. Anything you want. You can email us at flyonthewallatcadence13.com. This is from Chris Height. Question for us. Thank you, Chris. If an SNL bit is cut from the show or is passed up, can you resubmit it the next week? This is a good question because this... Thank you, Chris.

You know what it is? The truth is you've got to be careful when you submit because if it doesn't get on, it's got to stink on it. And it's just loses about 30% of its punch for the next time because a resubmit, what they call it. Are you resubmitting this? It's already got a negative connotation. I did receptionist. I don't think it got on. Oh, because David Bowie. Oh, right. Yeah. And so, um,

So I resubmitted it, but got it on with MC Hammer. And then I got on with Roseanne. But he's kind of, did you get cut from the show or just didn't get it on? No, it got lost. Actually, it was different. It got on and made it through read-through. And then David Bowie wanted to switch parts with me.

And that's when I said, I don't think I can. And then it dropped. Yeah. Yeah. Rough. So I resubmitted. Ground control to Mr. Spade. Called me in the hotel room. I called him. Oh, God. This is the things of SNL, honestly. Just when I hear David, he taught me how to do this dance move once one night in New York with Dennis and John Poe. Oh, right, right, right. He is, I don't know. I say-

No one cooler than David Bowie was. Fucking A, what a stud. Nobody cool, just such an artist. And was pretty, pretty fucking cool, dude. Like gave everyone a minute. Very nice, charming. Likes comedy. Oh yeah. Was it my young comedian special? Not because of me, but he was in the audience. Really? That would make me nervous. Is that fucking bananas? Gandhi's in the second row. How do you feel about that? He's like, I like that Rob Schneider.

Schneider was on it with me. Drake Sather, Jan Karam. We had a fucking big stoler. We had a great run there with Dennis hosting this next fucking kid. What am I, Glico? Dennis was the host. Okay, this next guy, okay. Some people think he's funny. Let's see if it's true or not. This ties into Schneider. He was there. We got the HBO special that got us.

Got seen by Lauren's office. If something's cut from a show and you resubmit it, change it or recast it. Yeah. If a new host comes in, I think Cowbell might have been cut or didn't make it until Walken came and made history. I got a fever. More Cowbell. That's probably a top 10 sketch. Yeah. I think, oh yeah. And so yeah, resubmissions are tough.

But eventually, hopefully they get, I actually wrote in when Seinfeld's the host, McCartney coming in as a receptionist show and it didn't get on. So they didn't even give it to him. You know what I mean? It has to get on first, then they go to him and say, will you do it? But it didn't get on. So you guys, thank you for your questions. Thank you.

This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts. No joke, folks. Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.