Colin Jost & Michael Che
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Or choose mobile service where a technician will come to you and do routine maintenance right on the spot. Both are complimentary and depend on your location. That's ownership built around you. Contact your participating dealer or visit FordService.com for important details and limitations. We finally got the update, guys, which is incredible. The Saturday Night Live Current Update Stars.

Yeah. Listen, we've had Colin Jost. Ackroyd, who's a big update guy. We had Tina Bay. We've had Colin Quinn. We've had Kevin Nealon, who's an update guy. Dennis Miller. Love update. It's such a fun part of the show. And we get to get to... Jimmy Fallon, too. Sorry. Oh, yeah. Some of the inner workings of update and what it's like being on update versus hosting update. And...

Michael Che has a Eddie Murphy pillow in the background. We do joke about it. Right. And I told it Eddie Murphy story and I didn't even know he had the Eddie Murphy pillow. I saw it was in the background. It was like, uh, they, they couldn't have been a nicer couple of fellas. And, and they're really, really, um,

I mean, I think they're still earning their way. They feel they are. And I think their chemistry is great and they're killing it on us. And now he's done a great job. They have a big following and they have a big show coming out on Peacock. We're going to talk about that's going to be tomorrow night. It looks like so that would be September 12th. Correct? Yes. Yes.

Michael Che and Colin Jost, New York After Dark. We're going to do a live show. It's going to be a lot of fun. And we get into all the ins and outs of the show. So let's get right to it. Here they are. You do not wake up with that hair. Do you like that? I just got a haircut, but I go to sleep with it and don't do anything. Dana and I are going to spend a half hour after angry about this.

I tried to get heights because I knew Owen was going to bring it. I got a lot of product here. I wanted to get heights because I knew you were going to bring it. So I have 18 different sprays and lotions and ointments. There's fillers, lotions, sprays. Do you wash it every night? Like, do you wash it every night? How do you do it? I did. I don't anymore. I wash it every four nights. Thank you. That's a good question. Thank you.

Because I'd strip it down and they didn't say that was wrong. Is Michael relating to this at all? Next day hair is the best hair. We just had to talk to a wardrobe about what we're wearing for this thing we're doing this week. And I was like, what's Michael wearing? And she was like, you know what Michael's wearing. He's wearing a hat and he's wearing a hoodie. Got him. I was like, oh, right. Yes. Is that for the special? I've worn a black t-shirt for 150 podcast episodes.

I like having a uniform. I don't want to think too much.

There's some kind of magic with the black t-shirt and the white comedian. I don't know what it is. I don't know if it's a Carlin thing, but it's like... Yeah, it is. It is, isn't it? There was a comedian who had a joke. He was like, I'm on a diet. It's called wearing a black t-shirt. That's why Dana doesn't. Exposed. No, Dana...

It's a little bit Carlin-y, early Carlin. He did some specials in a black t-shirt. I don't know. I have no brand and I don't have much of a personality. Our guests today are Colin Schroeder and Jake. Let's do the thing about the show up front first. And then we can circle about to it, around. Okay. So, is it September 12th? Because I thought you said this weekend. That's Thursday. Okay.

Thursday, yeah. That's not a weekend, right? Thursday's just a day. Yeah. So Thursday, September 12th, these guys are going to be live.

because they can only do live. It's in their contract. Yeah, right. Is it going to be live for real? Carl Jost and Michael Che present New York After Dark. First question, 9 p.m. Is it twilight or is it dark? I'm not saying it really matters, but is it after dark at 9 p.m. in September? He's at a lie in the title already. Misinformation is the word of the day. Okay. 9 p.m. Eastern. It could be dark. I'm going to predict it's dark. Yeah, I think so too.

6 p.m. Pacific. What time will it be on in Hawaii? By the way, that was a real gotcha question about the title. We're really drilling you. It's going to be live, I guess, live at 3 p.m. Hawaii. We got six viewers over there that want to know.

American Samoans watching. It's a breakfast show in Fiji. You have to get up pretty early in America. Okay, so here's what I want to know, honestly. What is the show? Is it an hour-long update? No, what is it? Oh my God, no. I didn't think so. It's really just an evolving...

It's not written yet. It's very Saturday Night Live. It's like six months away and your guys has, even though it's like in 24 hours, right? SNL is all about just a month is like...

10 years away. So you'll get down to it after this podcast. It is weird that you don't ever write ahead because you're just putting out fires the week you're at SNL. So you're never like, everyone's like, well, you must write ahead a little bit if you know someone's coming and you kind of process anyone that's coming beyond that week.

No, anything you think of in August would never possibly make it to the show. Even though two weeks before, anything you think of will never, ever make it to the show. I don't know. I would always take a sketch idea and go, I'm saving this for Michael Keaton. And they're like, dumb idea. Anything good, get it out. But

But we had like 200 white male hosts in a row. That was like, our problem was like, there was no, every host was like the next guy. So if you have a generic sketch, you're like, we just wrote it for Jeff Daniels, then Tom Hanks, then Alec Baldwin. You know what I mean? So it's very hard to go. And then you have a female host, but you try to mix it up, but it was hard to write different things every week. That was my excuse, by the way. Check that hair.

I don't think it's much different now, though, is it? Yeah, you've got a pretty mixed bag, but...

It's still, it was more just about bad writing on my part. In the pitch meeting, Lauren goes, David, anything this week? I go, nothing for you, Tom Hanks. Sorry. I'm saving a couple of winners for Alec Baldwin in three weeks. Oh, that's nice. Okay. David and I toured together and he was my opener, one of my best openers. Oh, yeah. And he wrote some jokes for me or added on to the Grumpy Old Man sketch. So he's self-deprecating.

Who's the more humble between you two? Who's the more, Hannah? Me. More humble? True or false, has any of you ever said to the other one after the update, if you ever do that again, I'm going to kick your ass?

- Something toward that, yeah. I think "Jalapeno Business," I was pretty furious about that one. - You were just upset that it worked so well. - The punchline, well, I remember in like run through when you did it, 'cause I'd never heard it before. I don't remember what the setup was, but the punchline was "Jalapeno Business." And I was like, if you tell that joke on air, I'm leaving, I'm quitting the show.

And he did it on air and it destroyed. And I was so frustrated. I was so frustrated. I don't even know what we do anymore. I would have honestly cut it if it wasn't so upsetting to you. And then I was like, I'm definitely doing this shit. Can we know what the setup was? What is the controversy? I'd rather not know. You do not have to.

have to remember at all but um but it crushed it was a funny punch line no matter what yeah it doesn't need it it almost you could say it without context have you ever have you guys ever hugged each other and said love you bro okay yes well one says yes one says no well yeah i was it was definitely um no it was definitely a one-sided hug if it ever happened

Have you ever said, oh, no, here comes Sarah Sherman sliding in again? Yeah, maybe once or twice. Is it a Sherman week? Yeah, it's a Sherman week. It's so funny when people are like, oh, my God, she's really going after you. You're like, I mean, she is, but it's so clearly...

It's like, is there really okay between you and Sarah? You're like, yeah, if it wasn't, it would be crazy. They're like, but she said you lead, you're leading the new Nazi party. And you're like, well, that was sort of a joke. I think. Yeah. Why are they looking for someone? Where's it coming from?

I like everything I'm hearing so far. Is that your one of your sponsors? One thing I find interesting just watching you guys casually and wondering, because I feel like when I stepped off after seven years, my final sketch was the best I ever was as far as just being out of my head mentally. And it seems like you guys at some point in the last few years got so loose and it's really fun to watch.

I don't know the way your interplay and the way you make fun of each other or when you surprise each other with jokes. Do you think the 10 years just kind of wears you down into such a relaxed state and confidence, right? That's my overarching question. I'll be quiet now. But no, first of all, thank you. But also like, I think,

everything that could possibly go wrong has gone wrong. So there's kind of nothing left to be afraid of in that way. Like it's kind of like the confidence of being so bad that how much worse can it get kind of thing, you know what I mean? But it's still, it's still gets like, you know, it's, it's still SNL. So it's still nerve wracking, but it's, it's a lot more fun when you realize there'll be another show next week. And yeah,

And we're just having fun. You know, we were, there were at least a good three years of feeling like it was bad or not working or work. I, I was certainly like personally feeling like I was trying to find it or figure it out and everyone's seemingly not into it. And, and, you know, feeling like, like not knowing if you're going to get fired every summer for at least three years. So, um,

And once we got past that existential dread of doing it and whatever, then it started to get more fun for certainly for me. I felt that way. Is there something when you are replacing someone that there's you feel like the audience is mad that you're there or they're just not ready yet and they got it. You got to sort of win them over after a while.

Yeah, totally. I always feel like it's like the stepdad effect. It's always like, it doesn't matter how good you are. You're not dad to them, you know, and then you kind of stick around for long enough that they start to kind of just know you as the job. They call you dad. Yeah.

Yeah. Remember the Gilbert Godfrey thing about the coming in? Cause he came in in 80, right? Like first cast left that he was like, imagine at the height of Beatlemania that they were like, we're replacing the Beatles. And he's like, that's what it felt coming in as the second after that first SNL cast. That was, that was pretty grim. And then they got, uh, Eddie.

Eddie Murphy. Right, right, yeah. Was Eddie with Gilbert? He came in a little bit later. The show was going on and then Eddie kind of came in as a feature. I was in New York at the time and I knew a guy I'd seen. He said, you got to see this kid, Eddie Murphy at Comic Strip. You know, he's crushing. He's a baby. He's in a crib. Come see him. I go, really? How good is he? I mean, come on. He's no Dan Aykroyd or something. He goes, no, you got to see this kid. And then boom.

Let's ask Michael's pillow. I've never turned to the right side in a zoom in my life. No. Or on update when there's a graphic, I'm always like, all right, I'm going to tell you something about a LinkedIn Danny, which you probably already know, but you know, when you're hiring for a small business, you want to find quality professionals are right for the role.

That's why you have to check out LinkedIn Jobs. Now, when I was getting a job at Bullocks, which is a clothing store in Arizona, they said I had the best meeting and the worst performance. So they would have weeded me out here at LinkedIn Jobs because they have the tools to find the right professionals for your team faster and for free.

That's exactly right. I mean, it is very difficult to know who you're hiring and comprehensively to get them vetted by LinkedIn gives you takes, you know, takes away the hassle of finding new people. I mean, LinkedIn isn't just a job board, David. LinkedIn helps you hire professionals you can't find anywhere else. Even those who aren't actively searching for a new job, but might be open to the perfect role. Do you understand?

Yeah. I mean, listen, I feel like I get it. In a given month, over 70% of LinkedIn users don't visit the other leading job sites. So if you're not looking at LinkedIn, you're probably looking in the wrong place.

Well said. On LinkedIn, 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours. Hire professionals like a professional on LinkedIn. 86%. That's a good percentage. Who has the time? Dana, you're a small business. You're out there trying to just run a show and you can't just stop everything and try to interview and make calls and bring people. You just call LinkedIn.

It's easy. Bing, bang, boom, beep, bop, boop. Quicker. Post your job for free at linkedin.com slash candidates. That's linkedin.com slash candidates to post your job for free. Terms and conditions, of course, apply. I'm curious, do you have an overriding producer that's helping you with everything? Because

Or do you actually produce like, because cast will come up throughout the week. Right. And kind of go, I got an idea. And who are they? Who do you blame when you kill a bit? You know, I mean, everyone loves to slide in and be front and center with you guys at this point. They got hats on, they got props. I mean, some really, really got hats. Well, they got, they're playing Eskimos. I don't know, you know, Heidi Gar, and they're doing some very creative potent stuff. And so, and you guys are,

very good at playing straight to them. But do you have, is there a political environment about that? I feel like the closer to the end of the season, the office gets more and more crowded, you know, like when the season's about to end. But yeah, I think it's pretty, I don't know. Sometimes we're like looking for them. Sometimes like,

there's times where like we don't have features and we don't understand why like there's like two or three options that we have to like send a reminder like hey if you guys got like features let us know but yeah it's always kind of tricky you gotta ping them if you ever had no update uh features we did last last year remember we had an oops oops all oops no features whatever oops no but that's because it got cut not because we didn't have them

Yeah, I got it dressed. So it was just, we went straight through for whatever it was, like eight to 10 minutes or something. And it was kind of a fun, different energy to, to, cause we'd never done it before. It was kind of fun to feel out. You're like, I've never worked 12 minutes straight in a row, but I did it. Uh, you know, um, when I would do features and if, if there was no Adam doing a song, there was no Farley going, I says, I says, and I'm like, Oh, I'm the only one.

Oh, thank God. And then you get cut. You're like, what the fuck? This is the only time I thought I was the only option. You went with. Yeah. Yeah. Because you guys, I guess, have never been a guest on it. Update. Jay did one feature there where he rolled around to the other side. Oh, that's right. Basically endorsed Japanese style toilets, if I remember correctly.

Yeah, I got a bidet. I was really excited to talk about it, but I couldn't find a new setup to get into it. So I was like, can I just do a feature where I just talk about it for two minutes? And I got to do it. It blew my mind. I mean, it is interesting because it's a little bit like rodeo because you

You're in there in your chair, maybe Chris Rock's ahead of me or something or someone else. And then they go out of the shoot that you make a left turn and then it's 20 million people and all that. And then you come back around. So it's the last time I did Church Lady, I think is with you guys and Colin. It's where I'm in the shoot and then you roll out.

The chair is actually rolling and then you hear meow. And the crowd goes, put your weight for all the, you know, all the love. And then you deconstruct all the goodwill. But it's nerve wracking coming out there. Is it more? Was it even when you were on the show more nerve wracking to come on update than to be in another like a regular sketch?

Kind of only because of that waiting. And then Dennis Miller's out there. Christ, thanks. Who invented the lemonade pitcher? All right. And he's crushing. And you follow it on the cards and then they wait and then push you out. And so the audience doesn't see you. I think at home, if it's still this way where they go to one shop, but you're still out there. And so the crowd starts to get something's happening and it kind of throws there. Does it throw that last joke? Because it's,

they're looking at sometimes, especially if it's like some Bowens coming by in a giant, like moth costume. Wait, what's this going to be in their half list? And you're like, no, no, no. Here, this one last thing I have to say about Hillary. Yeah.

You're like this bone, bone. Hang on, hang on. Okay, bring him out. I have to say that if the update's not going slow, it's a little less nerve wracking. If update is crushing and maybe the first guest is crushing, it's a little more okay. But if it's a bad night, it's less nerve wracking.

Dennis Miller, I think, said, get him next time to me or something on air. I'm like, God damn, dude. Oh, my God. Fucking broken bat single. Dennis saw my cards being, you know, because they flipped through the cards during the break or whatever. He looked at my cards and he thought, Christ sakes, Kirby, I thought you were going to go down in a heap of dog dung. There's not one joke in the bunch, you know.

it's a great joke writer and mine's more rhythmic but so um yeah how many likes how many like spade in america's did you do do you think spade in america thank you for bringing that up um you know it was called the hollywood minute but no after i left yeah well after my whatever did you do it did you first do it on snl

Yeah, no, it was just, when I was leaving, Lorne was missing me, Adam, and Chris. Everyone kind of left at the same time. So Lorne said, why don't you stay? Why don't you stay and do, he was petting me like this. And then he goes, you can just do a five minute segment a week.

And it won't be update. You just do whatever you want. I don't know why I never tried to update, but I said, uh, okay. So he goes, you can do field bits. You can do anything you want. So we just named it something stupid. And then they gave me one writer and I was sort of separate from the show. So I did a Hollywood minute once, right? But I went to the world series. I didn't feel bits, which are fucking way harder than I thought.

you know eight hours of shooting for a two and a half minute bit maybe and then came back and then that was will ferrell came in and those guys so i sort of overlapped with them but i didn't really get the same bond i had with the other guys because i wasn't really doing sketches i was just on the road and do it so okay that's a good question in my memory i'm trying to remember what what because i remember watching those and but i don't remember when what the timeline was that it felt like it was

I saw, you know, I knew it for years really well. Yeah. It may have only been for like a year, right? It was just one year. And, uh, other than that, it was just fighting for update bits. And, uh, we did love doing update. Like you were saying, it's funny that I'm, you're on the other side of it. And, uh,

dana and i did a lot of update bits it's so fun but it is scary that last few seconds when you're in the dark and then you go if i just go there that's 20 million people i'm just i'm i just i'm gonna get there soon but yeah or you could just walk out and go ta-da and you'd be on camera but it's hard not to do that it's like a psychological thing does it ever matter like whether it's something that you've done a bunch of times or it's something that you're trying like the feeling is it is it more or less nerve-wracking either way

Well, I think if Dana was doing Church Light, I think he'd be more confident. But if you're doing a new bit, it's scary because you have to sort of get them to bite within one or two lines and run with it. Like if you come on a costume, they kind of know what you're doing. I think I got pushed out. I was Jeff Foxworthy. And they kind of were thinking, it's already funny because you've got a little look and I have an accent. And then I think I was saying, how do you know if you're a tornado or something at first? Yeah.

It was an AIDS joke. This sounds horrible. But I was like, if you have it, you might be the AIDS virus. And so I changed it to Ebola. That was a big discussion. Yeah. Because Downey and of course Downey was probably the one going, just do it. I'm like, Downey, you're always the one pushing us out there and daring us. And then guess who gets fired? It was not you.

They're like, he's a year later going, Spade was a good kid. He was a little too rough on the edges. And I'm like, that's when you told me. No one, no one watching at home is like, I bet that was a downy. It's only writers later that go, was that Jack Handy or downy? So overall it's fun not to take over. That was, it was fun. And it was, it's very scary and you want it to work. Lauren's thing is, I don't know if he always said this or not, but he's, his,

view i guess now is like that you you can't be a star on the show if you if you can't be a star on update like coming out and doing a feature like you that if you know that it's really rare for someone to become a star if they if they don't score in a feature on update but i don't know if that's always been that's interesting i didn't hear that he just told me where you live is important

So it was, and he also said about stars that are in too many movies. Well, what I've learned is they can't miss you if you don't go away. Right.

The minute you get hot, you can feel yourself getting less hot. That was a good one. Following his rules, there's like no way to act. If we wrote down all 200 rules. Oh, there is so many. They're brilliant. Some of them are just making me think. Have you heard this one? And I've said this before, but I thought it was... I can't even believe it's Lawrence. He says...

marriage is a prison that everyone's trying to escape into. He just has all these things that I don't know where they come from. But my dad said, marriage is the only game that two can play and both can lose. I was like, Jesus, he's right after divorce. Thanks. He also said the fucking you're getting isn't worth the fucking you're getting. I'm like, thanks dad. It's my fourth birthday. Can we just eat the cake? But,

But I think that's a great thing to say about, about update. Like they have to buy you on your own, not in a sketch. You know what I mean? Like just we like you or we don't. Yeah. And that's kind of a, that's kind of an interesting thing to say. I agree. And people said, I've never heard that before. Actually. That's actually, that's a good one.

Even if you made it up, I like it. I had a reverse thing because church lady had her own set and was in home base. And then sooner or later, it's where characters, when they have less heat, then they pop out. They go to die. Church lady doesn't have a set or a show all of a sudden. She's just rolling out. They go, weren't you the cold opening guy? And you're like, he had a giant set. He had a theme song. He had movie star guests. Now he's just next to call. He's got one minute.

The wig is not like the original wig, no matter how hard and how great that staff is. You never get back to the original wig. But I just want to clarify this one thing, that you guys do literally surprise each other during the live show.

Yes. You play practical jokes. And that, when did that start? Cause that's the, I think that really creates a lot of big hook. Yeah. It's, it's huge. Cause it goes to your relationship. The first version of it was, we had a lot of jokes that were like way too harsh. Like the audience just wouldn't,

laughing oh and the other guy was just way too hard yeah they just wouldn't like we would think they were funny and we but just audiences would they would just die so we were like for one christmas he's like let's do a grab bag where for christmas we give each other a joke that was too harsh for air but and since it's christmas we get to tell it anyway i think we did that and it

the jokes that bombed killed for some reason, just because we offered that sort of context. Yeah, it's so great. New life. Yeah. So then Colin was like, oh, wouldn't it be funny if we just did like a joke swap where we wrote jokes for each other, kind of just heightening the game. And that's kind of how it started. And so I'm thinking he's trying to set me up and he's trying to write jokes, you know, get me to write like soft jokes so he could write harsh jokes. So I wrote really harsh jokes. Yeah.

And he did not write harsh jokes. The first one, I kind of just like overshot it and then it just became what it is.

Yeah. I think it's really interesting that the idea of clarity, you know, that when you did that little setup for it, then the crowd went crazy. It's very, it's a sketch, right? And it's standup. Anytime I watch young standups, it doesn't go over. I go, they're just not quite sure what you were going for. So it's very, yeah. I mean, even like in standup, we could talk about a sketch idea that bombed at dress rehearsal and it can be

be really funny when you're hearing it. And people are like, how's that not on the show? And you're like, well, we definitely tried. And it was pretty clear non-response. You guys have that lane. You're on, you're currently on SNL. And so, yeah, you can talk all about that. The audience is always going to lean forward about that inside baseball.

It's the greatest joke I ever got for update and they wouldn't let me do it. And you're like, okay, what is it? Exactly. And it's also too, like that version of the sketch is like 15 seconds as opposed to four minutes. So it makes it a lot cleaner and faster. A lot of times it's just one joke and then we kind of stay in there too long. But for the joke swap, once we've kind of figured out that if we just offer up the context,

of a situation then almost anything could work then it just became like well how far can we go and just have fun with it dana i don't know if you remember i had i had a uh dirty dirty bit on update and i was so sure it was going to work this is so horrifying here we go i don't know if you guys go i don't know if you guys go to read through but um at read through i uh i do it it's basically it's dirty so it's like different ways of of uh masturbation so i'm like

Oh, who was it? Buddy Whackett. I did all these ones about the Yankees. And then we did Tommy Boy that summer. It didn't even get past read through. Yeah, that was in Tommy Boy. Yeah. So Cameron Diaz, what the jokes were about her, maybe she was the host or something and it didn't work. And I was like, fuck. And then in Tommy Boy, I go, hey, can I cram these in here? I'll just, I'll give them to Farley.

And it made no sense in the scene. But the movie's about brake pads. So we're like, let's just, let's take a break from talking about riveting brake pads. Yeah. And so we put those kind of things in and then,

It's so rare to find a new home for it. But like you were saying with your joke, maybe think of that. Like you just look at it from a different angle and you go, oh, maybe this will work. Bada boom. By the way, both, both Tommy boy and trading places, I would argue, and also both the Dan Aykroyd, um, maybe, but both have plots that you would in no way, like third acts, third acts that you would never think are going to land in a comedy, uh,

One is orange futures, right? In trading. Yeah. And break pad merging schemes in time away. And they both work really well. You're like, whoa, how did those go get pulled off? Yeah. Even a pitch would not have been green lit. I think it was green lit first. And then they're like a movie about break pads are like, say no more.

in Ohio. You're right. Usually broad comedies are really straining in the third act. Like, just get this fucker down, man. Because we've done all the jokes. They're kind of smarter plots than you would expect. And I feel like it's a good example of the audience will go with you for if it's actually well thought out. Yeah. Some movies that are good and funny, I don't remember the plot. You know what I mean? I just go, what was the pitch?

I don't know. I just thought those guys were funny and the movie's funny. And I'm like, it's got to be something wispy. What's the newest Dash Pass annual plan benefit?

Ah, that's what we're here to talk about. We're going to talk about it. Go start talking about it, David. I am right now. Watch this. Max is now included with your Dash Pass annual plan. You know what I mean? You can stream Max with ads. That's up to $120 value. Included at no extra cost. Terms apply. See doordash.com slash max for details.

Wow. Unlimited zero cost delivery fees on eligible orders. Members only exclusive offers or menu items. Yeah. You get, you get a lot of benefits when you do your DoorDash Pass annual plan. Yeah. By the way, what's your dream night in? What would you do? Um, I would say I would probably watch the Gilded Age on Max. It's new season with my wife.

And I would have a soda or a light beer and get a cheese pizza. Yeah. Okay. So I would watch. I was doing this last night watching The Penguin. And that's on Max. And when I order Dash Pass, Door Dash, I get, yeah, pizza's a favorite. And I get some diet drinks, no names.

And I get basically food that to stuff myself, maybe a burrito also. Yeah. Um, it's a guilty pleasure. It's a guilty pleasure. I mean, you could watch, um, the house of dragon and we're dash past order some sauteed dragon. Right. Yeah. That was a joke. Usually when you're in, that is a good time to order in. And so you can pair up stuff with your shows if that's fun. Uh,

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I mean, maybe, maybe today. I think you can. Do you find the audience is looser recently in a way as far as jokes that are a little outside the lanes? Is there kind of a. I think it's sort of like I think a lot of times it's us like just people in the industry kind of fear what.

is possible by backlash. But so we kind of like pull back and then blame the audience for what we think the audience is going to react. But I think

I think people are the same as they've always been. They just want to laugh. If it's funny and they trust that you're being fun, I think you could get away with a lot. If you mean well, yeah. Yeah, if you mean well. Where it's coming from, like what is a, you know, yeah. The intent is rarely what they think it is. Like most comics are just saying, even if it sounds horrible, you're just trying to get a surprise laugh or get something.

you don't really mean anything. You're just like, this is a curve ball joke. And then. Yeah. What's that? Maybe out of desperation. Who knows? It could be anything. Of course. That's always. Yeah. I think you do get exhausted. Trying to second guess yourself. And, you know, I don't know. I don't know the first person to say, oh, you can't say that, you know, or we can't, well, we couldn't do that. It's so funny, you know, but I do think you get exhausted by that notion. And then you just start.

Just saying whatever you want. No, wait, by the way, go ahead. Made me think of, because when I went home to Staten Island, like a little while ago, I saw that I had DVB compilations, I'm sorry, VHS compilations of SNL from the period you guys were there. And that it's so crazy that you were in it. There was a special called the bad boys of SNL. Do you remember that? That was spade.

The bad boys of SNL. And I feel like it was Spade Rock. Spade Rock, Schneider, Sandler, Farley. Farley, yeah. I think the first, like my first memory of SNL was my family. I think, I don't know if it was the 20th, 20th anniversary or 20 something. It was like some compilation show that was on.

and they were showing Chopping Broccoli, and I could not understand what was happening at all. I was like, what? I don't get it. It just sounded funny. And everyone was laughing so hard. I was like, oh, it must be great because all the older people are laughing. People ask me about, they send me broccoli meat and show Dana. I'm like,

I get people mentioning that to me more than anything else. And I have no idea why. I only did it once on Instagram. I've never seen my family laugh harder than that. That was your first show? Yeah. That's awesome.

That's great. He came out of the gate. Church Lady, too. Church Lady was the last sketch during dress and because everyone thought it was going to bomb, including me, you know, and I killed it, moved up to the and then that came out. Yeah, I got a freaky lucky for a show, but we only had like six cast members then, you know, everyone got to do a lot.

For just a second, because everyone listening to our podcast, just how did you guys, I know you've been asked this a lot, get on SNL, you know, your little path there. This is the final time you'll be asked this. We'll never ask you again. You can make it. You can make it. I did stand up. They saw me. Boom. It doesn't have to be.

but you can pick that one. We're in our office, but we're in there. I'm in my dressing room and Chase in his office on 17. Have you guys done, have a lot of people done it from the offices here? Is that a,

I thought you were on 17th, but the dressing room looks, it's kind of like, have you had it painted? That's your dressing room? Fancy. Got a little round window or is that a prop? What is that? What's that termite doing back there? Some kind of, some kind of. A lot of, a lot of woodwork. The size of his dressing room is, is disgusting. You don't have a big one, do you?

We shared a dressing room for, I don't know, the first five years, but then COVID happened. You see that deep, deep corner in his dressing room? He's not at the other end of his dressing room. You see that deep corner he has behind him? Yeah. Holy shit. He's in a huge... He's in a suite. Look at this. He's in a suite. Look at this. Five seasons. Never seen that. Where the hell? It's like Will Smith's trailer or something. Holy shit. Why?

You have your own bathroom. He has his own bathroom in his dressing room. That's it. Yeah. It's always flooded. It's literally. Colin Jost has Will Smith's trailer on Hancock. What are you doing in there? He had a double decker, I think on Hancock. That's a good one. Isn't that one? I like that movie. It's a great movie. It's very underrated. It is. Yeah.

Jason. So where, where's your, we asked, we had Bowen on recently. Where's your guys headspace right now? Just you're still like, ah, the premier is so, so cares now. I'm not even gonna think about it.

Are you nervous? We barely thought about this live special we're doing on Thursday. Okay, how long is the live special? Is it an hour, hour and a half? That sounds right, right? Oh, ish. Oh, it's live. Okay. And they give you a chunk of time and obviously it sounds funny and you guys can put together a squadron of, it's going to be you guys plus guests. Surprise drop-ins, Jerry Seinfeld. Surprise drop-ins, Chris Rock.

No, we don't know yet. Oh, I'm just saying. I'm helping you guys. Lower, lower. Barry Sobel. Kidding, Barry. Maybe you've seen this next guy on TV. Even though he hasn't been on TV yet, he's not that good. This up and comer is making some noise at the Comedy Cellar. It's his first time on television. You're going to break some people for their debut?

Yeah, hopefully. Oh, that's interesting. Okay. I would love when you go to the comedy cellar and they clearly didn't know who you were and they'd just be like, half hour Comedy Central. You've seen them around. You're like, wait, did a half hour comedy? Premium blend. They just make that up? I feel like someone still says it, like half hour comedy. I don't think they've done a half hour comedy. Yeah, VH1 stand of spotlight. No one's ever seen it. He knows Young Comics.

Clubs and colleges all over the country. Yeah. Clubs and colleges. That's open for Heidi Gartner at the Wilshire Comedy Playhouse. Dana would be bad at this. When you go, I was at the comedy show the other night. They're like, hey, right before I walk out, I always think there's like an MC and they go,

Oh no, by the way. And I'm walking up, they go, you bring up a Bill Squank Meyer. And I'm like, and then I go up and I'm like, all the whole time I'm stressing going, what was his name? And I have no credit. So I'm like this guy, what are you going to say about this fucking guy? Always killing right and left.

He's the talk of the town. I'm not even going to say his name. You're going to freak out. Here he comes. He'll tell you. That happens to me during warm-up. I got to do warm-up for the show. And sometimes I don't know the music, I guess, or I don't know. I don't really remember what their names are. I'm like, what the fuck is the name of that band? It's something I've never heard of and I probably will never hear of again. Hot House Flowers. Hot House Flowers.

We would go through the bands and we'd guess ahead of time who's going to stick around. I'm like Nirvana. No. Pearl Jam. No. Eagle Eye Cherry. Yes. Eagle Eye Cherry. That was when I hosted Eagle Eye Cherry. It took me so long to realize that Eagle Eye Cherry was just a person.

Yeah. Like a band. Cause I never kind of, I just thought it was a band. Oh, Colin. You gotta have a cool name, man. Eagle Eye Chair is a cool name. Wasn't quite enough. And it's a birth name, right? Is he an American Indian? I don't know. I don't remember enough. During the band, I go, here comes Eagle Eye Chair. And then I run off and they rip my Velcro suit off. Hey, we should say this is on Peacock. Yeah. Oh, we should. Yeah. Yeah. Peacock and, uh, Peacock.

We only have a few more questions. It's a great name for a streaming platform. The gentlemen from Peacock are on ready. Why don't we just call it Big Cock? And then you go, Lauren, where will we do this fun special? And he goes, Peacock, maybe? Do we have a deal with Peacock? I have to say I love it because I can't stay up that late. But I love watching SNL at 8.30.

Oh my God. Yeah, that's right. I mean, that's all we've done in what, like the last four or five years? That's for the oldies. That's us. It hurts. It hurts what we're allowed to get away with too because a lot of times we'll have like dirty stuff and they'll be like, well, we can't do it because we're on an A30. And you're like, ah. Oh, really? That has changed? It's eight o'clock. We're like, we didn't choose that. Yeah, our standards is like way worse now. Even a live streaming platform has standards that not- No, no, not for- No, no, for SNL. SNL.

Because it's at 830. Yeah, it goes by the standards that are on the West Coast. But it's only on Peacock. It's not on NBC at 830, right? No, no, no. The SNL, like the regular SNL, is on NBC at 830. Oh, okay. I'm just doing it. I'm getting it on Peacock. I didn't know it was actually on Channel 4. David thinks his laptop's a time machine. I'm always on live streaming, I got to say. What? What?

What application do I push? I don't like all these channels. We didn't have a channel. We didn't have a TV. We didn't even have a life. Dude, try watching football. I have 85 different pay services. I'm going to do that. You're going to do a lot. Dana's going to drop by this year and just run around and do like a

do like the hat trick. He's going to run a new update. He's going to go to a monologue. He's going to be with the music guest. That's exciting. Are you guys excited about 50th? 50th is going to be fun, yeah. Just to watch. I'm slightly anxious for the show because the 40th was so fly by the seat of your pants and it actually worked out that I feel like the fear is like it's going to be in

You know, if it was a band part, it'll be good. Well, and then how big it is, right? Like gigantic concert at Radio City Music Hall on Thursday when we'd all want to be writing and doing stuff. No, when is the concert? I thought it was Sunday. On Thursday? And then the show's Saturday. Oh, it's Thursday? I don't know. It might be Friday.

or Friday. And then I think the show is Sunday, which I've kind of, Oh, I think it's actually Sunday, Sunday. How much have you written of that? Colin? Oh yeah. Like just like 30 sketches so far for that.

I remember I saw Higgins when I was at the 40th and I go, I like the people, like I know some SNL people that call me and they go, who would I call about what sketch I want to pitch them for the 50th? I go, it won't be on, don't worry. I said, I don't think they're going to accommodate every 700 cast members and say, well, what do you want to do?

I think you get the biggies and then, yeah. I want to do Wayne's World and we finally acknowledge our age. They take the wigs off and it's gray wig. Hey, Wayne, we don't look the same like we did before. I'm 80. And I've just got my pubes. He's got pubes. They're gray. Look, Wayne. Ah!

At the 40th, cutting to Lovitz during the In Memoriam was so funny. You know what he said the other day? He goes, they want to do that joke again. I said, once is enough!

I go, I would do it, dude. I said it might and will be the only airtime. Just take it. And it gets a fucking laugh again. He loved it. Every time they cut to him, it was a laugh. I'm alive. Hello. Jealous? Yeah. All right. We got to let these guys go. Go ask them some one more question then. Yeah, I feel like we've answered a few of your questions, but.

Not really. You guys are, um, I don't know. I mean, I kind of, when I'm on these shows, I always feel like artistic people have a, a thing in their head that they don't, they're imposter syndrome or they're not that good. And I just want to say, you guys are incredible on update. Um,

And really nowhere else. Really great. And I don't know, I, I maybe I'm corny, maybe I'm Mike Douglas, maybe I'm Irv Griffin, but I do like telling people that when I'm, and it's always sincere, but do you guys have, you know, when you come on to SNL, it's been 50 years and there's, there was Norm McDonald. Brilliant. There was, you know, Tina and, you know, and so there is this giant cannon of brilliant people and you guys are right up there now. So, I mean, I put you in there with anybody. Yeah.

Oh, man. I mean, come on. Even if you're lying, I'm still going to take you. I'm not saying the first year I thought that, but I'm saying as you guys have progressed. You wouldn't have made it this long if you weren't good. And, you know, we saw some when we were there and we saw some before we were there. So, I mean, everyone has their opinions, but 10 years is a great run and they wouldn't be doing it if it wasn't killing. I'm just, when you guys come on, I'm happy. I mean, I'm intensely relaxed, you know, because I just feel like this is going to be good.

That means the world from you guys. It's part of why we're doing it now, why we even thought of it a thing to do. So I really appreciate it. We don't mean to embarrass you, but I don't say that to every guest, right, David? I don't say that to everybody. You do not. We haven't had an update team on in a while, but you have not seen it. I just want to

I just was a casual observer. And then I'm like, damn, these guys are getting fucking good. You know, it's like really good. Listen, we're mad about it, too. Now, if you guys. Yeah, we're actually kind of angry, too. Hey, David, why do you want to learn a new language and where would you use it or how would it come in handy? Well, if I tour the road, I would go to mostly English schools.

places, but sometimes I want to go to these other countries and I do feel a little insecure about going without knowing a language. And it's never too late, but it's also never too early. I mean, I should have done more when I was younger. This is Rosetta Stone we're talking about, and you should try to get in on this quickly because you probably learn quicker when you're younger. Oh, definitely. Yeah.

You learn about cultural appreciation. You appreciate cultures when you start to learn a language and go to the culture. And also it's good for your brain, David. It does wake up your brain. Like I, I do like to study stuff about comedy and when I'm on the road and trying to memorize stuff, but yeah,

Definitely don't use the brain like that anymore. And I think it wakes it up and it's very good for you. You know, like you travel more. If I even go to Mexico, which is very close, I don't know if you know where it is, Dana. It's straight down from here. Straight down. I thought that was Hungary on our border. You thought it was Canada or Chechnya. Yeah, Canada is up and then Chechnya is down. Anyway, I'll look it up.

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What about Colin's foot? Is it okay? Yes, it's totally fine. Coral mites? Yeah, I've had them. It's a bunch of antibiotics. I mean, there's probably a bunch of scars, but it's totally fine in terms of I have toes and stuff. Did you walk on coral? Is that what it was when you go in the water? I surfed and hit coral, and then I went barefoot for the next five days in dirt and sand, which was a bad combo. It was funny that the Olympics were that far away from the other Olympics. I know. We now go to Tahiti. It was stunning.

You actually need to know the time zone difference and

When it was air. Can I ask you a surfer question for the final final with the two dudes that are out there on the surfboards talking and there's just no waves. I mean, there was a wave and then it's like 15 minutes. It's the Olympic final. We're going to crown a champion. They're on their boards in the water chatting for 15 minutes. There were a couple of people I thought who really got screwed. Like I thought John, John Florence kind of got screwed. Like Jack Robinson beat him. It was great. And obviously a very deserving, uh,

uh, you know, deserving that he moved on, but like John, John kind of was waiting because the waves were so good. And then there was, they just died for 10 minutes and he never got a chance at another wave, which sucked. And also Medina a little bit, Gabriel Medina, he got one great wave and then never had a chance. So I feel like those guys both kind of got screwed. That's right. I noticed that he got one great wave and then that's all. You just want it to be monster waves, but it just doesn't always happen that way. But it was crazy to see, be out there in a boat and watch,

One day it went in the morning from being like four to six feet high to 18 feet within, you know, six hours. It was nuts. What's the biggest wave you've ever surfed? Cause Staten Island doesn't have a big surf scene. Big scene.

If you're looking for hypodermic needles in the surf, it's got a great, great. I would go to Montauk around here if I go. I mean, I've been probably 10, I've surfed like a 10 foot wave is probably the most I've ever done. Are you ripped? I mean, most surfers I find are just ripped because they're just constantly out there paddling.

I'm not, I don't get to, I mean, I'm most. You don't get to do it in a pity. But Michael's nodding that you're ripped. Are you ripped from an update? He is. He's definitely ripped. Well, you're. He's in that chair. He's got his abs on the whole time. He's stressed.

I sit on one of those balls, those Swiss balls. You're like this. Welcome to eat. We know you're relaxed if you do that on one of those Swiss exercises. We'll know you guys are. Okay, how much longer can we have you guys on update? You've got outside projects, you're doing...

Game shows, you're doing stand-up specials. So now there's no reason to leave, right? You can just kind of come and go. There's no reason to stay either. I don't know. I would say if you could just... Are you in retirement? I don't know. I'm trying to do filler. I just wouldn't leave. Okay, you're going to... I just wouldn't leave. All right, let's give a last plug to this gig we got. Last plug. Peacock. Peacock.

September 12th, Thursday, Colin Jost, Michael Che present New York after dark while it's twilight, 9 p.m. Eastern on Peacock and on NBC or just Peacock? Oh, we think it's just Peacock.

You guys are going to be saying what the fuck in this next fucking guy, right? Yeah. This motherfucker. This motherfucker. Some people think he's good. I don't fucking know. Didn't you get bad intros in the day? I mean, I used to get the worst intros. Some guys, some guys think this guy's funny. I don't, I don't know. Maybe. Yeah. Yeah.

What about a college where you go and they're like, we're going to introduce you, and then they read a whole bio? I do that. I always go, that's a corporate gig. I go, hey, thanks, Jim, for reading my Wikipedia page. You always start with the fucking name, too. You're like, please welcome Michael Che, who was on Saturday Night Live. Oh, wait, what? So people should know you guys out there doing stand-up all over the place.

place michael's got you did your special a couple years ago or you probably do for another one yeah fill it up i'm trying i'm trying to figure it out now it's just you know like when the snl season starts it just kind of it's hard to get consistent stage time to where you get really sharp so every time i get a little better i feel like i get a little worse so it's like i don't know when i'd be able to do it maybe winter break

And Colin, you were playing Vegas with people recently? Yeah, I kind of had to switch up a lot of the summer because of like some family stuff and planning and stuff. And so I had to move a lot of dates together. But I did a run all over the West Coast. I mean, I love doing it. I wish I had a little more time to do it. And for a corporate date, what is your price? Yeah. Okay.

And if you can write your own intro, will you take some money off? Okay, guys. Thank you very much. It's been a pleasure, you guys. Have a nice show. I'll be watching. You guys are great. We'll see you on the Peacock special. Thank you guys so much. Very nice to talk to you. Enjoyed it. This is so much pleasure. This has been a presentation of Odyssey. Please follow, subscribe, leave a like, a review, all this stuff, smash that button, whatever it is, wherever you get your podcasts.

Fly on the Wall is executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Jenna Weiss-Berman of Odyssey, and Heather Santoro. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman.