Chris Rock
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's- Because they're naked? Well, it's like the 1800th time you say, on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. Oh, I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there. I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it. Hey, David, how's it going? What day of the week is it? I don't know. When did you get to bed, bed hair?

You know what I was saying the other day is there's a downside to COVID and no one thinks that. I know. Remember I said, who is the guy who said, you know what? This is COVID has a downside. Dana and I are doing this because we, I could pull him out like pulling teeth to go to dinner, which has to be within a quarter mile of his house. And then we would talk and laugh. We told SNL stories and we have dinner with Neil and another guy's Michelle. We thought,

There's so many people that watch SNL. Let's try it. Let's just talk about it and bring in all the cast members or music or hosts and bullshit. Yep. We could have called this Inside Baseball because everyone has a variation on a theme so far of their experience. Never forgetting it.

But yeah, I was pretty demanding with restaurants. It is a quarter mile away. But one time you enticed me to Beverly Hills and we sat near the kitchen and had to take pictures for a half hour. Oh, yeah. Yeah. Well, that can happen sometimes. Hey, you know, we're the owner of the way. We think it's a fidget's mile high. Which again, this is not complaining, but the place we go is pretty mellow. I like it dark and quiet.

I like when the busboy comes by. A lot of people will help you at their level. Like he comes by, he goes, hey, Joe Dirt. I go, all right. And he goes, hey, I'm going to give you some extra bread. And I go, all right. Because that's nice of him. At his level, that's how he's helping me. Hey, man, I don't mind that because I was a busboy for three years at the Holiday Inn. We call ourselves table maintenance personnel managers.

- Yeah, I was not a great busboy. They always said, they had a big chart in the back, "Lift with your legs." I'm like, I've never lifted my legs fucking once. Everything is across the table and I have to lean over and pop my spine. - Jesus, so you were a busboy too?

yeah, guy, I tried to be waiter and he goes, you don't got the stuff. I go, what stuff? This is harder. It took me six months. I was a dishwasher. I was a dishwasher. I was, that was the Hobart 3000. I was just bleeding and cutting and sweating. We had the cum sucker 8000. I would eat the food. Uh,

Oh, I ate. Right off the thing. I ate always in the back. I would watch people and go, don't finish that fucking steak, dude, because I'm going to eat it. No, they were just thousands of plates. And then the guy came back every 20 minutes, my first shift. You want to still do it? Yeah, I'm not going to quit because everyone would quit. You know how I got fired? It's because the guy goes...

don't be a waiter. You're not a waiter. And they don't like when you talk to them. I go, but I'm like, you know, I'm sort of an upbeat guy. They go, I don't give a fuck. You're the bus boy. So on Father's Day, it was packed and we were selling shark. That was a special. This is in Arizona, which is so gross. And so I walked by the table and someone goes, how's the shark? I go, I got a mono. I don't eat them. They don't eat me. Can I talk to you? I go, fuck.

So the manager goes, what did I just say? He goes, what are you doing over there? I go, I don't know, killing? And he goes, no, you're not. I go, dude, I'm getting applause breaks. Hey, man, I waited on Rich Little. Everyone back says, Jimmy Stewart. I waited on Richard Pryor. I waited on Carlin. I brought him a bowl of oatmeal. And he goes, oatmeal. Oh.

drop the O and you have at meal. I said, give it a rest. There's no blue food. I gave, I gave Richard Pryor a Denver omelet. I came back to get the plate. He goes, whoever made this omelet can suck my dick. And I never knew if it was a compliment or like, but I think he loved it. That sounds nice. Well, uh, Chris Rock is a good buddy of both of ours. I'm pretty tight with him. He's such a nice, cool dude. He was in your team, your era. And, uh,

But to me, always seemed just, that sounds kind of corny, like an old soul. I just don't see Chris like in high school skipping around or something. He had this wisdom about him and he has this skill set of distilling things to the essence very quickly if you're around him. And he gave me an incredible compliment once because I was at 93, I said, well, I guess I'm going to

leave the show and he goes leave the show they're gonna have to get like five guys to replace you yeah such a sweet thing but that was that was my experience he's a he's a smart guy he's very uh he's very nice down deep he's not like a cool super yeah and he um

I think he's an honest guy and we talked to him. He's very honest. It's like, you know, when he's off SNL and they asked about Lorne Michaels and he says, the man gave me a job. Yeah. You know, there was never any complaining. No bitterness that he got fired. Nothing. He's still one of my tight buddies. So let's hear from Chris. Let's see what he has to say.

Hey, Rock, are you in that sweet pad I saw that was near where we ate? Yeah, I'm in that sweet pad. I told you, when I go on tour, you can borrow it. You can stay. I don't care. Rock said I could stay there. Hang on, Dana. I wet the bed, and so I said I shouldn't stay at his house because I'd feel embarrassed. You still wet the bed. I was a bed wetter. There's no way to get out of a wet bed with any dignity. Ha ha ha!

What happened, dear? But anyway, we'll get to the childhood stuff in a minute. But Chris, a day off for you, not a family day, but a Chris day. Like it's going to be totally off, no emails. You're going to have fun. Does that great Chris day include having to go on a podcast? Wow.

Because, you know, you're performing. I love the lady, but I really love Steve. I know. Yeah. So you had to do it. Anything for Steve. Rock and I came in together. Yeah, thank you, Rock. Almost anything for Dana, but anything for Steve. No, but you guys were the junior varsity who outdid the varsity. But we had a junior varsity team consisting of Farley, you, Sandler, Schneider, and David. I mean, it was an incredible team.

junior varsity team that was being trained to take over when we left in a way, right? No? It was, yeah. It's amazing that, yeah, Farley, like Kobe Bryant, came off the bench. People forget. Yeah. Oh, yeah. We do a whole show and we go, hey, how about this guy, Farley? I don't even know why they hired us because normally they bring in the new people when the old people are, you know, not doing great.

You guys were in rare form. I mean, that was, you know, that was the beginning of a 18, 20 person cast. When I came in, it was like basically four feature players or there were six total. And that was the beginning. And now there's like 21. So it never went back to just five people being the cast right after that. No, I don't think so. Yeah. I went the other night and I couldn't believe how long the,

The credit roll is, yeah. Don Pardo's like, Jimmy Fallon. I'll rope this on SNL? Like, I couldn't believe. It's like, how many people are in this cast? We started, it was just so people know, I came on at the end four shows of the previous season. So Rob Schneider and I got hired to write for four episodes.

On those four, Dice Clay was the host. We had a couple of good ones. Alec Baldwin's first show. And then when summer came, we got picked up. And then that's when Rock and Farley...

Came right, Rock? Were you a full cast or were you a feature player? Me and Farley got brought on together. We were the new guys that year. Yeah. So we were all sort of new together. Yeah. So we got close offices and we, Rock, who people don't know because he's tough on TV. So am I. I've come off like a hard-ass athlete before.

But Rock is a nice person and I was sort of out of my element from Arizona and we gravitated just because we were kind of in over our heads. Like everyone is there, I guess, when they start. Yeah, I mean, well, you know, they always had that thing. It was the stand-ups and the improv guys. Yeah, yeah. And the improv guys were more technically prepared for the show, right?

But the standup guys, because we write our own material and we live and die by the crowd, we were more, I thought mentally prepared for the show. Like, cause the show, yeah, the show is killed or it didn't kill. Yeah. Like we could, you know what I mean? Like the standups, I thought,

We're less into the politics of who likes who and who's close with Downey and who's close with Lauren. That's like improv guys because they're thinking they're in a group think and stand like Sandler to come from writing on the show and this by force of nature, make himself

you know, the biggest cast member. Only a stand-up could do some crazy shit like that. Yeah. I think I got on, I caught on to Sandler. We always thought he was funny.

But Chris, Dana, you, we all know great comedians that never pop or never make it. And I'm like, I watch a guy go, this guy's better than me. And I probably make more, you know what I mean? They're just, they don't get discovered. And when you see Sandler, I think it was somewhere around crazy spoonhead where I'm like, this fucking guy does not run out of ideas. He does not stop. And he just fucking crushes. It's, it's every week. It was a new one. I'm like, God damn, this guy's got it. He would, he would crawl around on all fours.

down the hallway, I'd be in my office and I'd hear a little knock, and he would come in so gently and so quietly, but he wanted me to introduce Opera Man 'cause he'd done it once and they didn't what, you know? So that I, from updates somehow I introduced it and it was separate and he had a little stage.

And that was the beginning. But when I first saw Sandler, his likability and charm, let's just talk about him for a sec. He'll hate if he hears it. Just sitting in a chair and leaning back. Hey, it was like, whoa. And the girls liked him. Let's face it.

and then he's adam sandler but i was the original pete davidson he was yeah pete davidson great comic but i am fascinated by who he has sex with i mean that's a big part of my life following that thing i'm at the show i guess i can say this without getting whatever let's get let's go and uh

So, you know, I'm at the Kim show. By the way, Kim was incredibly funny, right? Yeah. Great. And I'm just sitting backstage. I was like, who's it going to be? It's like, it's not me. It's not me. I'm like, she's probably met Blake Griffin already. It's like, you know, maybe Pete. This might be it. Really? I mean, it's sort of pushed to the front because Colin Jost is married. It just sort of gravitates. Yeah, right. Colin's married. I was like. You'd be good though.

No, I'm more of a Chloe guy. I'm more of a Chloe guy. Oh. Well, the language starts like this. They're just friends. Plus, I'm friends with Tanya. That would have been too weird. Oh, yeah. That would have been too weird. But they always say they're just friends. Then they say they enjoy each other's company.

They're hanging out. You see the trajectory here. They're both lovely people, by the way. Pete Davidson is very charismatic as a person. I really see why women would like Pete. He's funny. He's cool. He's got a great voice. He's really tall, too. How many funny tall guys are there? Tall trumps most things. Yeah. Most things. Rock, I have a question about when you did your first... When your first...

Do you have questions prepared? Did you guys actually... Yeah, we care about you. My goal was for you not to be bored. So you got an SNL and then Bring the Pain really blew up, right? Oh my God. You know what I mean? So I have questions for you that I'm actually curious, like as if we were hanging out. Yeah. But if you want us to ask about anything, let us know. I'll answer anything you want. I'm curious about if Rock felt if it was not fair, but...

I did one weekend update in my first four shows and it scared the fuck out of me. We all weren't really actors. We hadn't done much. So Rock's first show, they were so salivating over Rock to come in and do all these sketches they couldn't do that. I remember, I think they overloaded you with so many Confederate sketch, especially. Yes.

I almost got SNL hadn't had a black cast member like nine years. Most people think I'm the black guy after Eddie. I'm actually the black guy after Damon Wayans. And Living Color was killing it at this point. And there was like a bunch of whatever SNL so white articles or whatever. And then I got hired. So yeah, there was like this immediate

saying, well, like, you're going to do some Eddie Murphy stuff, right? Like, I don't do any impressions. They brush off all the old Murphy sketches. That's a lot of pressure. You know, the Eddie Murphy type stuff. I don't do any impressions. I don't do any voices. You know what I mean? Like, I do what I do. I mean, you know. But so, yeah, I guess there was pressure. You have to do act and you have to look at cue cards. And, you know, just being in one sketch, you're terrified all week, or I was. And you have to inch your way in

And you were like hosting that first time because I remember you were in a lot of sketches. They're pulling you every which way. You have a million costume changes. And the scariest one was I was a soldier in the Confederate soldier. I don't know what the sketch was. You were the first black general or something. I don't know. And Franken wrote it. Franken. And he was fucking roughing you up. No one should have to work with Franken the first year on the show. Never.

That's what I was getting at is he's so tough. What are you doing? It's like, okay, you've been on two years. Now you can work without breaking. He's great. He's an amazing guy. He's a little intimidating because he's very blunt. That wasn't very funny. You have to get used to that.

He's the white Lou Gossett Jr. from Offensive to Hill. 100%. What you gonna do, mayonnaise? Mayonnaise? Mayonnaise. Because I remember that sketch. He's the Jewish Lou Gossett. Rock, but was it weird? Because I didn't really think about it that way. But In Living Color is doing great.

You must feel like you're almost stuck on SNL because it's like, fuck, I should be on. I did. I mean, I loved it and I loved you guys, but it was a weird...

you know i'm sure jackie robinson used to like go to harlem after the games with with the dodgers and it's like right happened in uptown why am i here with uh peewee reese good reference when you went on in living color you finally went on there did you were you uh was it fun or was it not fun at that point no but i finally got there the waynes were gone keenan was gone i was like i didn't know that i don't even know what the hell i was on i was on

But it was weird. I got to work with Jim Carrey and Jamie Foxx was there. You know, all of that SNL and Living Color, it was just for me to make friends and to kind of learn about writing and writing on a deadline. All of that was just training. And, you know, I was supposed to do stand-up. Thank God. It's a humbling boot camp that just reminds you that everyone got there because they were good and then you're immediately shit on.

And you're like, it's like a wake up call. Like, oh fuck. I'm not the first guy to like, maybe, you know, the show wasn't perfect for me, but you know, Julia Louise Dreyfuss, Stiller, you know, it's like a lot of people that,

Jim Carrey, I auditioned with Jim Carrey, you know? I mean, and I thought, well, they gotta pick Jim Carrey. Guy's insane. But then he killed on "In Living Color." I auditioned, the night I auditioned, the night me and Sam were auditioning, we were at the Chicago Improv, and Dana Gould was so good. Oh, wow. I left the audition. Yeah. Like, I didn't even stay in the meet and greet. Sam Fred guy. Yeah.

I was like, okay, this is over. This guy. Smart, funny. Smart, funny, like whatever. Like this guy is so much better than me. I am out of my league and I left.

And later that night, Lorne, you know, whatever, found out what hotel I was in and told me to come downstairs and basically told me I had the show. I didn't even like that's how good Dana Gould was. Like, let me get the fuck out of here because I'm wasting my time. I think with Lorne, it's it's it's it's like almost a sports analogy or something. He's looking at people can play well together a little bit. You know, I actually I asked him that.

In reference to Dana Gould, it is not, but Dana's had a great career writing on The Simpsons. Fucking great, great specials, the whole thing. Lauren said the thing, I said, what did you see in us? Because I was like, what did you see in me and Sam? Because we both were like, what the fuck are we doing here?

And he said, well, you guys had original thought. Yeah, that's a big thing is writing. They always look at the writing and I don't think that. We both had like a joke somewhere that he hadn't heard before.

I love that. And that's why he hired us. What would be like, at that time, didn't Sandler's have the thing about who's guarding Wilt Chamberlain? The Wilt Chamberlain thing is one of the greatest pieces. Pieces of comedy. That should be an NFT. Explain that. It should be an NFT. It was so original and so funny, but I want to know what your signature thing you might have had or your go-to. And that moment,

your most surefire bit, you know? I had a bit about going to an abortion rally to meet women that I knew were fucking. I remember that. That was pretty radical. That was radical. In 1989, 90. It's like, whoa! Well, Rock came with more hype than Sandler, I think. I think Rock, when I got there, everyone was telling me, pss, pss, pss.

And I also heard a lot of hype about Farley. And then we knew Sandler from the Valley. So me, Schneider, and maybe Dennis, maybe Dana were helping saying Sandler's funny. He came soon after. But it was weird. Like first, you know, you can tell if people had game. And sometimes you can just tell around the office. You can tell it right there. But I definitely was looking around that place going,

Everyone's great. It's on. I mean, when you go down to Jack Handy, talk about original thoughts, every Jack Handy sketch, I'm in read through going, you're fucking shitting me. I should quit the business. I don't even know what I'm doing. He would hit the weirdest ideas. Yeah. I remember Mike Myers, just shit that didn't get on. I still remember it to this day. I'm like, what the fuck?

I've mentioned to people, they ask me about, oh, the greatest cast, whatever. And I mentioned specifically 90 to 93 because of every, there were too many cylinders firing and it get, you'd have a toots as the cat or Myers do sprockets. You do Nat X, David do this fan Sandler, where you guys were coming up and getting a fan following. I think those three years was like, sometimes I'd sit back and go, man, that show kicked ass. Cause they got the overlap. They got you guys and we're coming up and it's costing. Yeah.

And then you guys all leave and then it's just us. Yeah, we had Phil, we had Jan. We had, you know, it's just like that was a wild time. Yeah, it was insane. I learned more there than I had learned, you know, any other time in my life. And good people, you know. Rock, you're friends with Kanye. Is he crazy? He's an eccentric guy, you know. I do say eccentric because Kanye, I think, is so –

smart like in maybe that Elon Musk way or something because he's so good at what he does. Yeah, I mean... It makes you not fit in.

What kind of, I always go, is he worth it? And I was like, so far. As a friend or just as, as a, just as an artist, it's like switch you through a lot, but you're like, okay, that record's pretty great. Hey, I loved, I love these sneakers. You know what I mean? Is this true? And I, I would, I love that if it is true, but I think he had a prom at SNL and,

with a sketch or something, a music thing, obviously, and there was technical issues. The set or something. He said, apparently, he said, you don't understand, I'm Stanley Kubrick.

So I thought, to me, Stanley Kubrick is like, you know. Yeah, I mean, compared to the Batboys, he is Stanley Kubrick. But to reference, I'm Stanley Kubrick. In the world of rap, yeah. That's an NTF. I'm Stanley Kubrick. Compared to Young MC, yes, he is fucking Stanley Kubrick.

Well, you know, my kids turned me on to hip hop and rap. Now I love it, but it took me a while. But now it's gone to porn rap, which is very interesting.

Hey, it's always interesting. It's got to go. You got to meet the two. They got to meet at some point. It was inevitable. Yeah. It made total sense when it happened. Cardi B was on the Super Bowl commercial Mike and I did. Couldn't have been sweeter and just gentle, you know, and I wasn't that familiar with her music. But meeting her and then hearing WAP, it's like, OK, I got it.

- I got it. - You know what's really funny about Cardi B? A friend of mine's turned me on to her years ago, just from her Instagram feed. And I tried to get her a deal at Comedy Central to do a show, like a comedy show. - Really? 'Cause she's funny.

I thought I'd never heard one rap. She hadn't, wasn't even rapping or whatever at the time. I was like, this girl's funnier than everybody. Yeah. You know what's interesting? You told me that about Nicki Minaj years and years ago. I didn't know who Nicki Minaj was. And you go, I said something about her and you go, actually, she's really funny. She's got a great personality.

And that was the first of me going, oh, really? I like that you look at it with those eyes because sometimes I look at I can't help it when I meet women or and not that you were dating them. But when you just meet women, that sort of easy, funny thing that comes out of them is always really a great quality because they don't try to be like Robin Williams. They're just very funny personality. I love it.

Well, you know, you're a handsome guy, David, so you think you have a chance. I don't think I have a chance. You're the good-looking guy. Whenever we go out, they like Rock better. They always go, why aren't you Chris Rock? And I go, I can't be. Don't you get more handsome than ever, Chris? Don't you get that? Oh, thank you. It's not like you're like...

It's not like you're aging horribly. I'll just say that you're very- We're all doing well. He looks cooler when he gets older. Yeah, if I lean back and have the mic here, I'm in good shape. The neck is not happy with this age, but this is pretty good. You lose volume in your face, and your face recedes into your skull, so you need glasses. This is something Jerry Seinfeld will do eventually.

But can I, do you want to, should I ask you kind of off the kilter question? Yeah, ask a question. I asked you this question last night. Oh. Oh.

Because I'm name dropping. Who did you have dinner with, you guys, last night? Me, Jerry. Colin. Just, what the fuck? Paul McCartney. Good, good. Jesus Christ. Guy O'Steary, Jimmy Fallon, JR. Did they shut down the restaurant or what the fuck? And Aziz Ansari. Which Cheesecake Factory? Zip.

So Paul McCartney goes, you know, I'd like something, you know, a little sudsy on the top. And Jerry goes, I don't want anything with suds. Sorry, go ahead.

I didn't say that as a name drop. I was just feeding Dana. I love that. I do Jerry Seinfeld as a serial killer because I don't think... Jerry has two gears and Fallon does this one gear. But sometimes Jerry goes, when he did his president bit, someone wanting to be president, I think I'm just the right guy for that thing. I think I could do president. He has that do-ba-do-do-do. So I do him as a serial killer. I'm just going to go in, cut your spleen, go down the liver and do the thing. Anyway. Anyway.

Sorry. I could do Paul McCartney. Killed. Killed. Killed. So what do you like? So when you're in that situation with those people, you just look at the table and kind of go, I belong, right? I mean, you're chilling. I mean, you're in that situation. We're in that situation right now. We're all pretty accomplished. That's three. Yeah. Uh,

Yeah, I mean, hey, nobody looks at Paul McCartney and goes, how are you doing, my equal? Maybe Jerry. But, you know, through lots of therapy, yeah, I can kind of relax. McCartney seems like he likes to hang out. Funny people also get a pass. They like little court jesters around. I've been invited to shit out of mostly curiosity factor. They just go, Spade, go.

keep things moving i'm like you know what i mean they like that you're going to say something funny you're enough david you don't have to be a jester you're enough i just got the results back i have to be they told me my therapist told me

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At Robert Half, we know talent. Visit roberthalf.com today. You know, Dana, I think we have a connection. We've been friends for a long time. And for this episode of Fly on the Wall, we've partnered with eHarmony, which isn't us. eHarmony is a dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. We are not dating. I want to clarify that. But the connection is what you want in a dating partner. Yeah.

Just someone like, if you found someone that listened to this podcast, that's somewhat of a connection. And then you sort of build on that. You want someone with some common ground. Yeah. It's not, it, look, if you want to connect romantically over, you know, super fly or fly on the wall, uh,

It just makes us happy. You don't want to be watching The Godfather and the person next to you goes, this movie sucks. So dumb. Yeah. You want to connect on all issues and harmonize in life. Similar sensibility, similar sense of humor, and similar sense of sense. I don't like when they watch The Godfather and they're like, everyone in this movie is so old. I'm like, they're 40.

Watch 2001 Space Odyssey. Too much of this movie is in outer space. I don't like it. When do they land? When do they land? Why is that stupid red light acting so silly? Who's friends with a robot? We know dating isn't easy. That's why we partnered with eHarmony because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find someone who gets you, someone you can be comfortable with.

Yeah. I mean, the whole idea is you're going to take a compatibility quiz, helps your personality come out in your profile, which makes all the profiles on eHarmony way more interesting and fun to read. So I think this is the goal of dating sites, and I think eHarmony does it great. It's just finding somebody you're compatible with.

So get started today with a compatibility quiz. So you can find some and you can be yourself with. Get Who Gets You on eHarmony. Sign up today. So Chris, so I went into therapy with Conan's therapist. I piggybacked on his therapist.

I was in it for five years. Right. So you went through it intensely, right? So what's the headline? What's the takeaway for you? Mine was that I have a hard time taking care of myself. I'm always trying to help other people. That'd be one of them. I bought a guitar for my nephew, a really nice guitar.

And then I had a hard time buying myself a guitar. And I have a lot of money. And I said, God, I'm sick. Yeah, I mean, honestly, this apartment is probably the first real purchase I've made for myself in about 28 years. Right. Since I got that Corvette. Oh, at SNL? At SNL, like...

Like life-changing purchase. And so what was that? Yeah, I know what you mean. Like always do it for other people. I don't know. I mean, what I've learned in therapy is like,

you know, childhood trauma is like some real shit. And you gotta, until you deal with all your childhood shit, nothing, you just, you know, nothing's going to work out for you. You gotta, you gotta start at the beginning. It's like working on a script. Okay. Interesting. Page one. So when I met you, you were a,

a young man, but were you ever kind of like snarky and spoiled in high school? Because by the time I met you, you seemed kind of like this guy, at least in maturity. You weren't bitter. You weren't snarky. You were never in a group with comedians kind of shitting on some other comedian. So I noticed that attitude you had.

as a young man, but I guess the childhood stuff for me, it was like, I had a lot of anger and it, it was in my standup. It was in my characters. And once in a while I'd go off on any kind of authority figure that turned into my dad. But I, I got, you know, I got past that, but I, how did your anger express itself then to you? I mean, here's the weird thing. It's when I was, um, I mean, my child, I was bullied, uh,

half of it the bullying because I was just a little guy and then I got bused to school so I got I was a little guy and I was black right it's hard so it's like I'm getting double bullied I would if I was white I would have probably got bullied too but it was just like ah you're also supposed to be tough probably yeah it was pretty rough right and it was pretty like every day

So I, it's weird. I had a weird temper. I'm going to, it's going to be a weird thing. I was the oldest of seven and I was weirdly smaller than my younger brothers.

So it was a weird thing where your brother's like, hey, so and so down the block bothered me. And I'm like, I got to fucking go protect. Oh, Andre. I told you. And I'm fucking smaller than that. So anyway, one day a guy, a guy really disrespected me really bad, like mushed me at a party and like mushed me and pushed like kind of like kick sand on my face in front of girls and shit.

And I went home, I put a brick in a book bag. This is like a legendary story in my life. - Like bad boys, yeah. - And I fucking swung that shit and smacked this guy in the face with this brick and then stomped him Joe Pesci style. - Wow.

to the point we thought he might die for like even like three days later, every time a cop or whatever would come through the block and be like, we're literally talking about ways of getting meters down south like that would have helped. Long story short, from that day on, as my shrink puts it to me, you have been scared to be angry ever since. So so the guy you saw was

bending over backwards to be nice, 'cause I was so scared of my anger. - Yeah, I see. - I was frightened of what, you know, my shrink,

The good shrink I got, you know, like the top, top guy. There's good ones and bad ones. There's good ones and bad ones, you know, and he broke it down. It's like, we got to get you over that incident. Right. Because you're a nice guy and this guy brought out something in you and you're so scared of that thing coming out of you again. Yeah. That you let the whole world walk all over you. Mm-hmm.

Your friends walk over you, your family walks over you, your female relationships, like everybody just fucks you over. Because it's somewhere in there they know you, there's a force field holding you back.

Interesting. So I'm like the opposite of you in the sense that in the last year, now I can get angry. I'm not scared. I'm not scared of letting people know how I feel about certain things. My therapy was about that too, though.

Because I was always the nice guy holding stuff in and not really. My aggression, my competitiveness overrode the nice guy. Because people ask me who meet me now, well, did you just allow other cast members? Like, oh, no, Lauren, do their sketch, that kind of thing. There was a natural competition in me. But in my personal relationships, I hated confrontation. Because when confrontation happened at my house, bodies flew.

My dad was just really violent. So I, all my siblings are like that. We don't like confrontation. And that goes too far. It wasn't violent per se, but it was loud as fuck. Yeah. So. But those things stick with you, just loud. Yeah, it just sticks with you. So now, yeah, I can kind of,

I can tell you, hey, I didn't like what you said to me or I didn't like what you, without losing my head, without hitting anybody. Well, that's a home run for therapy. Let me ask you a question. So this apartment, I can't see much of it. So it was a mental leap for you to buy this for yourself, right?

Yeah. Because you were frugal too in a way, right? You wouldn't be the guy who would spend to the hilt. I would say your best manager or agent is a low monthly nut. That is like... Right. You don't want to be doing the fifth lead on... Yeah. If you can keep a low monthly nut, chances are your career will be... Make good choices, yeah. Yeah. Yeah. You don't have to say yet. There's meetings you don't even have to take. Yeah. Yeah.

When the cameo guy calls you up, you don't like a return. I called it fuck you money in the eighties. And I guess that's what it is like, or now it's just, no, thank you. No, thank you. Yeah. Yeah. No, thank you. Yeah. When you said you were married and you go,

I think it's from Iraq that are you scared she's going to take 50% and you go 50 it's 80 now you don't buy yourself much but when you're married didn't we have that conversation at the 40th backstage what did we have I thought there's so much there you told me about the divorce and you said well it's half and you know I just mentioned that other people I'd known in the business and they go well it's half of

you know, community property. And then the alimony adds up to more like 60, 70%. It's about 70. Yeah. Okay. 70%, which is fair.

I'm kidding. That's insane. I always say my ex-wife has made more money off of comedy than Robert Townsend. You also said once, I'm the only comedian that has to drive a cab at night. I'm going to change that to Uber because I'm updating my app.

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What kind of choices are you making now as far as girlfriends and stuff? Or dating? Or like, how are you in just therapies and forming all of that? And I think women generally do like when someone's straightforward, you know? Yeah. I mean, I don't know how. I'm just not as desperate as I've been in the past. Okay. You know what I mean? I'm just not like...

That thing where it's like, oh my God, I can't believe someone's paying attention to me. And then, you know, right, right. And then you're in this weird lopsided thing where you both, you both have one thing in common. You adore her. Okay. Here's the quote. I want you guys both to comment on this quote. Just comment on it. Okay. Whether it's true or not. Men want to be admired. Right.

And women want to be loved by a man they admire. That's pretty accurate, I guess. I guess. I mean, men want to be admired by who?

The woman in their life. By your peers. Well, that too. Yeah. I mean, like when I make the special or whatever, the only people I care about is like you guys. Right. I'm so flattered. Not even comedians, just comedians. I think they're funny.

Yeah, I know what you mean. Yeah. The rest I can. And we know we were in the tribe. We know what like when we see you on stage. Well, I always love how you have the cord and the way you move and you're all dressed up and you look great. The crowd's going crazy and you're just hammering it. I know what work went into that. I'm like, fuck.

And then to throw it all away and just be connected to it. I was really curious about this particular line you had, these anthems. And one was, a man's only as faithful as his options, which it seems like it was just hanging around, but it became quotable with my friends. It's not whether it's absolutely true, but it's just a very funny, astute observation. It's pretty true.

I don't think I came up with it. I think like one of my uncles said it to me. Well, that's coming up with it. And I shoved it in a joke. Yeah. But that's coming up with it, you know, noticing it. And I think I'd use that. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, that one follows me everywhere. Really? Oh, good. Good and bad, you know. Oh, a little too close for certain people. Yeah, it's like any girl you date, it's like, man's only as faithful as his options. They're like, sir, are you out of options? You're like, well. Yeah, I mean, hey. Painted yourself in a corner. I had. Well, isn't that special? I can't get away from it.

No, I'm kidding. Rock, what are the three top things that people on the street know you for? They know me for, I mean, they know me for, it's weird. It's like, especially because of YouTube, they don't even know whole specials. They just know jokes about this or that.

You know what I mean? Like specials end up becoming mixed together on some level. Sure. They don't really just go that joke. You told this joke. Yeah. Yeah. There's a lot of- Madagascar too. I was on a, I did a lot of Oprah Winfrey when, after Bring the Pink. I remember that. So there's a certain amount, you'd be amazed at the housewives that are the, you know, that are into, that know what I do. But yeah.

I don't know. I mean, it's not SNL anymore. It's more movies here and there. I don't know. I'm like...

I don't know. It's like, remember when we were kids and you just see, I don't know, I'm trying to think. Certain people were just famous and you couldn't even figure out why. You're like, why is Charo famous? You know what was hard for me to realize? When people were recognizing me, I thought, oh, it was so great until I heard one person say, oh, I know that guy. He sucks. And I'm like, oh, it doesn't mean they like me. It just means they know who I am. They just know you. I mean, that

I'll tell you this, that Grown Ups is fucking- Yeah, Grown Ups is a big one. You're right. You're right. I don't know what to say. It's literally any young person, my God, Grown Ups. We're keeping the lights on at TBS, I'll tell you, because it's on like- Yeah, TBS plays Grown Ups literally all the time. One and two, one and two. You know what question I got, which you guys might not like? In my last interview, they go, when were you the most famous?

And I thought, I know what he means. And I said, the real answer is right now because everything's accumulation. And then they've seen me. There's fame and then there's heat. There's hot where the phone's ringing on the hook. So I could tell when I was hot, but yeah. I'm more famous now than I've ever been. But in around, me and Chappelle always joke about it. I always go, yeah, back when I was Drake,

That's like, yeah. Drink them up. 2002, four. I was Drake, you know, whatever, from 96 to about 2007. It's like the fourth or fourth special in a row. It was like four specials in a row. It was very Drake-like. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah, there's no million dollar nights now, but there were. Those are, well, Bill Burr, I don't know, what does he get? No, no, no, no, Bill Burr, please. Bill Burr's, yeah. If you can do Madison Square Garden. You're doing arenas. Yeah. You can, you know.

Sebastian does two shows a night at a race. Yeah, unreal. It's unreal. Yeah, I loved it. That guy really stood out for me. I mean, in the last five years as just funnier. Especially you go watch him at the store, you can't not laugh. Oh, I love it. I was in the back of the store and just going, oh my God, who the fuck is this guy? And then I come in the next time I saw his name, I go in and watch and

The funny thing now to me is when people were playing like Madison Square Garden, I think you've played it, Chris. There's these big places you hear of like in Boston, TD Gardens, whatever it's called. There's so many big ones. The Forum. It used to be reserved for like Eddie Murphy maybe and maybe someone else. And now when you hear people that...

aren't even household names to me. And you go, this guy's playing this play. You go, whoa, this is a whole new world where through a podcast or through YouTube or through their specials, where it is a little under the radar, but they have a crowd that comes out. It's pretty unbelievable. It's great. I think the exposure and social media and everything else, they become friends with you. So it's kind of like your friend, nobody, is playing Madison Square Garden.

Yeah. And also, I think there's more. I know in Europe and around the world, they always respected stand up as a high art. But in America, it's the stand ups are becoming the real artists. Yeah. Because in music, music's become a trend.

a producer's medium. So there's not a lot of singer songwriters, there's not a lot of, no one gives a fuck about liner notes anymore. So the people that actually think are the comedians. You know what I mean? Like, so there's kind of a big-- - 'Cause you write your own stuff, which is hard to do. - Yeah, it's like,

You know, hey, I love Rihanna. Tom Segura is a better artist. You know what I mean? He writes all the shit. He writes all of his stuff, you know? Rihanna's great. She's amazing. But, you know, in the tradition, the nerdy tradition of

coming up with your own stuff would you rather date rihanna or tom segura be honest i would rather date rihanna tom segura is a great example of someone that does i won't say numbers but he does a podcast and then i ran into him and he goes we do these live ones so he makes a shitload off his regular podcast and then it's a live one and it's crazy where i go you do not make that in three hour podcasts he's like yeah yeah and then he goes next one we did it doubled i was like

I don't know. His podcast is great. And that's an example of that where I haven't thought when the web first came out, why couldn't I? Could I get a million people to pay me a dollar a month and I'll just go ape shit on YouTube? And that's starting to happen a little bit where someone I don't I don't know Tom's numbers, but I would guess if he charges 10 bucks and he gets 50,000 people on his live YouTube little podcast, he's making a half million.

Yeah, I mean, I understand too, like, I don't want to get too technical. Humans need people to talk, right? So whatever, 100 years ago, 50 years ago, philosophers used to be famous. There's no more fucking philosophers. People used to be religious and went to a church every week. No one goes to church anymore.

So the only place people actually can hear people say their thoughts is through stand-up. It's really how it works. We're the last of the speakers. You know what I mean? The last of the thinkers. Have you seen some of these preachers, by the way, are similar. They walk the stage. They're talking. They're rallying people. They're talking. Everyone's into it. When I'm writing new material, I watch preachers just as much as I watch stand-ups.

Really interesting. You come off a little bit like that. You work the stage, you're like a panther. Well, my grandpa was a preacher, my great grandpa, like all, I have preachers in my family line. Well, you see they're performers. What works, it works for them. They're loud, they give it to them, people listening. They find a premise, they milk it. Yeah. I would, well, my two sons were doing standup and they had, the main problem, so I was around open micers a lot.

And the main thing was lack of clarity in the setup. So I actually put you on one of your special. I said, look at this guy's language, this clarity of really digging into the premise that everyone knows where he is. And then he drops the hammer. So, you know, that that makes sense to me. And obviously, Sam Kennison was a preacher. You could really see that. Yeah. Yeah. One of the best.

The hardest guy to follow. I followed him once. Hardest guy to follow ever. I auditioned for Saturday Night Live and followed him as an unknown in 84 at the Comedy Store. With no MC in between. Sam levitates the room and now Dana Clarko. Death. Death. I have no way out. There was nowhere to go, man.

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find it on auto trader, see it, find it auto trader. So Chris, as far as just fun as standup, how much do you, what size room and what's the situation like for me in a small room where I've got a notepad and I have some bits and I'm trying out new stuff. That is the most pure fun. Um, for me, as far as standup, I mean, it's weird. I'm,

I start next week or the week after I go to, I'm not going to say where, because I don't know when this is airing, but I'm playing a club. Three years. Ten nights in a row in the middle of America doing two shows a night. Yeah, yeah. Trying to get an act together so I can go on tour next year.

That is fun. Once you get enough bits-- - That are working. I mean, isn't the greatest feeling a new bit that's coming together? - It's unreal. - I mean, you still got it. - My favorite time is early in a tour. You've been on stage about 45 minutes. You're killing.

And you know, and I just feel the audience is like, oh, you motherfuckers ain't heard shit yet. You're loaded up. You're happy. Oh, you guys think you just heard a great joke. When you hear this other shit. Your closure's coming up, yeah. Have you ever wrote a bit, Chris, where it came together so perfectly that you thought, man, I don't know if I can write something that good again. I mean, or equal to it, you know? I'll say this, this bit,

When my daughter Lola was born, the doctor hands me my child and literally out of my mouth, I'm like, "Oof, gotta keep her off the pole." It just came out of my fucking-- - Say that again. - I was like, "I gotta keep her off the pole." - Oh, that's right, yeah, yeah. - Strip her pole. - And it was like one of the best bits I ever came up with. It was like, should I just get women pregnant to come up with these things?

Yeah, it's fun. It's like a song. I'm sure you ask any song, you know, people sometimes they're one hit wonders, but there's one hit wonders where I go, this is such a perfect song. Like everything about it is working. Everything. And you go, and you don't want to be that as a comedian. So there's only a few things when you get older that still get me going. It's like, there's a few tiny things in life and one is coming up with new ideas. Just,

Or saying something fast in real life, you're like, I fucking thank God my brain still works because that's fun. And when you still like to do stand-up or still like to write jokes, I'm happy because I know some people that are burned out on showbiz or burned out on that. And they just don't like it anymore, but they go through the motions or a comic that travels with the same hour for about 20 years, which they used to a lot. Same act, same every year you'd see them. They come around to your city and I'm like, fuck, they didn't change anything.

But it was okay. Now it's fun to write and see if you can scrape together another hour that's good. But isn't that... Sometimes I would say I'm embittered by it, but I'm like envious. And I'll just say the Rolling Stones. I'm just envious of people. But we have to create new material. And rock stars can just...

do their top 15. We don't even want them to. And I, I really believe the Stones are better than they've ever been because I think really winding down on a song over decades where you just know it so well and Jagger never stops working. I mean, he, you know, and he can, he's, his voice is exactly where it needs to be at almost 80. But with standup, you're like, I can't,

okay, got to start, fuck, a whole new hour. I mean, it's like. Yeah, and it doesn't get any easier. I'm sitting here right now. I'm like, okay, I literally have shows in less than two weeks. I have fucking shows. Well, there's two things going on. There's Chris Rock Unknown.

It's surprising the audience. Now the expectation is, you know, when they, when they introduce you to make sure they don't go over the top with it. Cause I've, I've been dropping it. Mike's ladies and gentlemen, you know, this guy's going to bring it. You're going to really, you know, what's your, what, what do you want the MC to do for you in the club? He's trying out stuff. What do you want him to say? I just, just say my name, no credits. Just don't hype it up. You know, but I mean,

It's weird because it's like you can't get away from being Chris Rock. You can't get away from being who you are. And by the way, you can't get away from being who you are to the guy introducing you. Right. You know what I mean? Yeah. Because that guy is a comedian and this is what he's going for. I met Joe Coy once 10 years ago with Lovitz or maybe it was 12. And he started tearing up just meeting me.

Yeah.

It's interesting. Yeah. I forget who used to say it. Somebody said at their first Letterman, they sat down and it was like talking to a $5 bill. Because you can't. Yeah, you can't. Letterman was so intimidating to me that the last few years, I would just get on my heels. I'd be in the wings and I'd see them. The last thing I'd say when they'd introduce my name, don't give this show too much respect. Right?

Like pretend it's Bakersfield today just to get past the intimidation of David Letterman. There was something about New York, that theater in him. And I didn't know he liked me. I was intimidated by Biff. Biff was standing. Biff! You know what I mean? And he was like looking out and he's like 30 seconds. I'm like, fuck Biff, I got to go out there? I know. He's so casual. And I'm like, all right, I got to get his level. Yeah, I remember being, I couldn't believe Biff wasn't an actor.

Yeah, oh yeah, because he's on the show. He's the last thing you see actually was Work you really wanted affirmation from Biff Biff Biff you all right go cool. Oh my you know there was a time Biff was more famous to me Fuck yeah, where's your dressing room Biff? All right, let's let him go Dana. We did good with us was so much fun Chris. It's always good. I

This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts. No joke, folks. Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13. Executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade. Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13 and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. Production and engineering led by Greg Holtzman, Richard Cook, Serena Reagan, and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.