Alec Baldwin
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Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's because they're naked. Well, it's like the 1800 time you say on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there. I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it.

Okay, Dana, I'm wondering why no comedians have their book named Always On. Right, because almost all comedians are not always on. They're off. Buddy Hackett would cry himself to sleep every night.

Sid Caesar would go to the beach and go, should I swim out, boys? No, comedians have- Does that mean kill themselves? Yeah. Comedians have a- The ones that are always on cry themselves to sleep. Let's put it that way. We do have a rap, we comedians, as being like sad sex and like obviously damaged. But I hate it. It's sort of a running theme. It's not true. Yeah, I don't know. I mean, I think-

You know, having a rough childhood, maybe being on the kind of a little kid in school, you get a big old chip. Having a chip on your shoulder is good for the arts. I'll show you, motherfuckers. Well, there's a couple that come to mind that are very...

like internal in real life, but I have to say you, at least I like to hang out with the ones where I don't have to extract the comedy from them. Like you're just very sort of the way you are anyway. I think I'm like that. And, uh, I like that easier than like pulling teeth to get someone to say something, a modicum of humor.

It's very interesting, the relaxation and confidence. Like, what is it kind of about? Like, if you walk in a room and it's like, say it's Lorne and Steve Martin and Alec Baldwin, and maybe just throw in Obama and you take a chair, you know. Obama's in there? No, I'm putting a table that might intimidate you. And then how much can you be yourself?

No, it is hard. But sometimes I turn nervousness, I goose it up and I'm extra clowny. It's really sick. David Spade, was that as good as it gets or what was the name of that TV show? I thought you were the funniest guy in it. Lauren goes, you know David Spade. And then they all look and I go, beep up.

I just go right in there. You go right in, too. I don't even go, hey, man. I go like this. I go, isn't that special? I'm Bob. You're Dana. Calm down. We don't need it. Pull my string. Just be Michelle. Be yourself. Alec Baldwin, I'm excited about.

Alec was in the room you just mentioned, that fictitious room. That fictitious, scary room. Alec Baldwin is a force of nature, man. He is a very, you know, he played football in high school. He's a big guy. He's built strong. He's one of 37 brothers. I know Billy Baldwin. I know Daniel Baldwin. There's Stephen Baldwin. Yeah.

Yeah. And there's a... If you go to the town they grew up in and you just meet people at the store, I'm a Baldwin too. I'm a Baldwin. I know a Baldwin. When I open my show, I go, any Baldwins here?

A couple of them out? Alec Baldwin. So we're really happy to have had him on the podcast because he has his own lane. I love that phrase. You have your own lane. I have my own lane. With his history of Saturday Night Live, going from movie stardom and loving Saturday Night Live and hosting it 17 times. He has the record. Good God. And then many guest appearances, just regular cameos he did. And then he also...

did Trump for four years. We thought he's like, I, I like this word, a de facto cast member. He has a huge history with SNL and we wanted to break that down. I'm also fascinated by the Baldwin brothers and where they came from and how, how do you have four sons like that? They're all kind of cool looking and they have really cool voices. Like,

I'd like to meet the dad. Yeah, my kids are fine. I don't know where they came from. You know, genetics is strong. Am I doing this? Yeah. Because Alec and everyone's like, hey, listen, here's how it's going. Alec Baldwin has the best voice. Yeah, he's cool. Hey. He was my third show, Dana. How many shows were you on with him, do you think? I think he hosted at least twice. It seemed like he was in the studio a lot, too, doing guest spots. So he was just around. And he will talk all about how he made that pivot later.

He still is a movie star, but he really, really loves sketch comedy. He said, I want to do this. Yeah. And he ended up being brilliant at it. So he was in Beetlejuice. He was in Glen Gary, Glen Campbell. What was that one? Yeah. I am the bald one from the county. He was doing the Hunt for Red October when he hosted. And that's what he was. He was promoting that or Miami Blues or something. But it was great to meet him and watch him.

Just be better than me immediately as a sketch player. I know. His Tony Bennett is amazing. Yeah, he, as Lorne would say, he knows how to land a laugh. You know, he knows his way around that. Did I even comb my hair today?

It's called a hat, David. There's four right there. God damn it. Just don't, just punt on it. You know, just let it go. I just put this on. Heather, get my comb. Look, I'm not going to show this to anybody. It's in the calm room. Kids would cry and scream and run away. Why, daddy? Why is his hair like that, daddy? God damn, yours is maybe worse, but you have a hat, smartly. Well, you know, I work out and I sweat. It's a long story. I don't want to go into it now. Jesus Christ, they did the whole thing like that? Listen, David. Heather, get the 12-way mirror.

Yeah, get the special spritz. Get the special spritz. And I can tease that up. I know it's maybe inappropriate. Only me and James Cameron have one. He practices avatar in it. I don't like to see myself from the side. How do you practice avatar? I mean, see how they all look from every angle? They're like... I don't know what I'm saying. They're in the water.

Well, we had a very, a lot of interesting things were said today. So tune in. Alec is not shy about having an opinion about everything in life. He's very interesting to talk to. And it was great to revisit all the Saturday Night Live stuff, all his great movies. He's quite a talent, an American original.

And it was so much fun talking to him. I would listen to this one if I were me. To sum it up, I've been to Aspen. It says on my shirt. What are you getting for that? $100? I work for Aspen. Yeah.

- No, I just like to let the world know. - Has been, you add an H to that? That's stinking thinking. - I've been to Has in Colorado. - You're good enough, you're strong enough, and gosh darn it, people like you. - That's like a roast joke. I think I saw you in Has been. - Has been. What's the name of your special again? Personal lives? What is it? - Nothing personal. - Oh, nothing personal. Yeah, so anyway, Alec Baldwin, ladies and gentlemen. - Here he is.

I feel like I died and went to comedy purgatory here. This is great. It's heaven. Comedy purgatory. Okay. Well, I think we're in. The jury's out. The jury's out. Yes. We shall see. We shall see. But it is good to see you. I'm just by the end of this show. You too. Good to see you. Yes. Good to see you, Alec. You too. I've been listening to the show and I...

I listen to the show. When you guys do the promos at the beginning, Spade, you're very good. You're a very good pitch man. Oh, yeah? You're a one. Your voice is clear. You have the right emphasis. You're a born salesman. Oh, fuck yeah. I have told him that from the beginning. He thought I was kidding. Like, he has a voice, and it really cuts through. That's why I let him do most of the exposition. He does. He does. He should just stay away from it.

He should just stay away from hair products. That's what he should stay away from. Don't even look at my hair today. I can't. I can't. Your hair is like a boating accident. I don't know what's wrong. It's like fiberglass shards sticking out. It's like a spider web. Yeah, I know. I'm fine. I was jealous. I was jealous of Alec Baldwin's hair pretty much from the get-go. Alec, I was just looking online to see

First of all, who you were. And secondly, what... I think you were my third show. I was a writer and it was your first show.

And so it was either my third show. I think the second one was Dice Clay, and I think you were third. Do you remember this? Does that make any sense? I just remember when I met you, I was terrified. When I met you, I was terrified. Why? Well, because you come from that school of Letterman and other people where if you get into the comedy thing, it's like log rolling.

If you try to be sharper than them or as funny as them, or you try to like battle wits with them, you know, who's going in the water. I'm going to the water. Oh, that's nice. And you're so, and you're so clever. Like Dana is.

and kind of does all these silly characters. And Spade, you terrified me. Whenever you would walk in, I would like stiffen. No, that's... Wow. He's going to dine out on that. I thought I'm going in the water today. Well, they see right... He's like a combination. He's got some Dennis in him, that sort of wit and cunning. Dennis Letterman. From love. Ellen DeGeneres. Yeah, Ellen DeGeneres. Sharp. It is true. I am... Yeah. Yeah.

I agree. Thank you, Alec. When you came to host, I was very nervous just because, first of all, honestly, you weren't the biggest star there because you were starting out, but we had just seen Hunt for Red October. They also...

uh sequester the writers to see a new product from the host and that was i think miami blues right and we watched that and so you just could tell i've said on other podcasts you knew alec was a star you walk into that meeting i think you had a black turtleneck good looking good hair which i'm incredible hair yeah and then good voice just too much going on angered me and then um

Very cool. Like the show. Too attacked. Yeah. I really lay down on that one. Attacked. Well, in the first week, I never said this before, Victoria Jackson, the second time you hosted, I've never said it to Alex. She said, I'm not going to do it this week. I'm not going to do it this week. And I said, well, what are you talking about? I'm not going to fall in love with him. Speaking of you. And then by Friday. What's funny? Go ahead. But by Friday, she said, he looked at me with those blue eyes.

Otherwise I fell in love again. She didn't realize that I'd already fallen in love with Hartman. I wasn't loving Hartman. Yeah. The great film. You know what's funny is, as you know, is that when I first came on,

You have to make a decision or you have to recognize something, which is either you come on and your career is so iconic, like Stallone or Schwarzenegger, where they're going to make fun of you as you. Or you do your best, I mean, with varying degrees of success to just become a member of the company.

and do the sketches and it's not really about you and sending you up it's you need to be a part of the group and so when i came on that's what i realized is that i'm not schwarzenegger you can't lampoon my essence so i just thought i would try to be uh you know one of the gang there and i always came back people said why did you host so many times i said because that was really

in the beginning of the heyday of me doing films, mostly, like all the 90s, I did movies. Yeah. And I said, movies are challenging. Movies can be challenging, but they're so fucking boring. It's unbelievable. It made me bored to death. And I said, I went back to SNL all the time because it was fun. I wanted to have fun, and it was fun. Yeah. I think maybe that comes from him doing plays, Dana, because...

I think Alec, I've read you really like doing plays and that's another version of doing a play in a way you're, you're live, you're with other people, you're playing off everybody. It's happening right then.

But now that I have seven children between the ages of nine and eight months, I'm going to sign a deal to do a play for like the next 10 years. I'm going to be gone every night. I'm sorry. I'm in the car at five. I got to be at the theater early. You do have a bit of a cheaper by the dozen vibe going.

That's good, but you came from six, so it's thematic in a sense. Do you come from a big family? Five. And you grew up again, where did you grow up? Well, from Montana, but then grew up basically on the peninsula, you know, south of

San Francisco. Yeah, I thought you were from the Bay Area. Yeah, middle class, stacked kids, two years apart, like the Baldwin boys, pretty much. I guess that kind of because you do have a very 415 vibe about you. Very 415.

I think you are. You have that vibe. I don't know. Harris. I'm an interest. I'm laughing like Kamala, but you said here to your point a second ago, when you came on the show to me, you were a star already. Yeah. And, and, but you acted exactly like we have a new cast member this week. And you said to me, cause you'd done the big submarine movie. And I said, you were kind of going, I don't know about these movies. And you go, uh, I, uh,

I go, what do you want to do? I just met you. We're on the soundstage rehearsing. I want to do this. I like doing this. You think I want to be on a submarine and go, I captain for the rest of my life? Fuck that. You know, so you were. Well, the shit with that is I used to say, oh, I'd love to be in the cast. I'd love to be in the cast. This is the most fun. And then when the Trump thing came and I was in the cast. Yeah. I was in and out in five minutes. I was in and out in the first five minutes. But I was there the first two seasons. The first season I did every show.

Second season, I did nearly every show. Third season, Leslie. Second season, my dad. But that period I was there, I was like, boy, do I regret wishing that I was in the job. Wish came true. Well, that's with kids on a Saturday night. That is a big deal because it gets you on that late schedule. You're gone all day on that Saturday rehearsing. So yeah, that's a tough one. I think when I finished SNL, the Trump thing in 2020 when he lost,

I still have three less children. I've had three children since then. You have a kid every Monday. Well, do you want to make an announcement, Alex? Spade is like, ooh. Now, wait. Do either of you have kids? Do you have kids? Two boys, yeah. And Spade, you have kids? I have one daughter, and I grew up with two brothers.

at dana you only had brothers too right no i have a baby sister fuller brothers i don't even know dennis miller would be say something like christ sakes i can't get the progenies increasing at an exponential rate in the baldwin household i see yeah it's just crazy but yeah it's like this is my project i really mean it this is the thing i get a job and i'm like you know

If it's a week, they're like, come to Vancouver, shoot a movie. Your character's dead on page five of the movie. I'm like, great, I'm there. Can I do 10 weeks? I do a couple scenes. So it's kind of like a flip. But have you seen so far that the siblings are raising each other? It's a clan. It's a brood. And there's the mom and the dad. But the siblings, as they go along, are doing a lot of shenanigans and play. I mean, it's a pretty incredible dynamic to watch.

We had a girl and then we had four boys in the room. Wow. And then we had two girls. And the boys are, you know, I mean, they're boys, man. So it's like you come into their room and one of them standing there out of the shower going, my penis, my penis, my penis. That's what I do. And not only are they singing a song about it, it's a bad song. By the way, I think they're still young. They're not really pulling their weight yet, right? They're not doing as many chores and babysitting as you'd like.

Well, I love the line when you guys were talking with Sherry on Terry and Spade says, you know, we didn't get cars on the show like you, Dana. You know, you're being carted around like Meghan Markle. He is our Meghan Markle. Jesus, this guy. I love that. And my kids have a little Meghan Markle. They're getting carted around. Yeah.

It's hard to stay rich though with so many kids. It's just tough out there because everyone's in a more spoiled world than we grew up in because when I was a kid, I would think, oh, in the summer in Arizona, I bet everyone's having a lot of fun. They drove to San Diego or something. But now with Instagram, you have concrete photographic proof everyone's having more fun than you. They're like in Ibiza and Italy. I'm like, wait, they're in Europe now? Yeah.

I think the change for me is going to be that next summer, we're going to start to go overseas and go away, as opposed to our standard. We have a house on Rhode Island, and we just got a place in Vermont, and I'm like...

I don't want their summers to be just like tennis camp and all that bullshit. So we're going to take them overseas next summer for like five or six weeks and rent a house. We did that. We did that in Italy. Where'd you go? Where? San Casano de Bagna. It's about, it's in Tuscany. Uh, it's about 90 minutes outside of Rome, I guess. And, uh,

You said Dabania? You went to a bathhouse? San Cristiano Dabania. There was an incredible spa there. I'd never seen a spa like that with hot water coming down on you. But I'll be honest with you. It was a bit rough on the kids at a certain point. They were not excited. All they wanted to do was catch air off statues and stuff, like skateboarding, Tony Hawk stuff. I could catch so much air off that. And when they saw the statue of David, they turned purple immediately.

Just this giant naked statue. They just thought it was the funniest thing. So there was a bit of that, but I think to get them out there is cool. I think that the girls might appreciate it more than the boys. I don't know. We're going to go overseas to Europe next summer, and we're going to plot that out because obviously it's a big crowd.

and where are you going because i want to tell the paparazzi can you just hit me with your itin yeah i'll text you i'll text you sit cc me thanks i'll cc you oh yeah but i want to before i forget this which is it's so funny to talk to you two guys and dana people would say to me you know years ago 2016 and that's seven years ago so i start doing the trump thing uh and uh

Of course, Lauren says, it's going to be three shows. Oh, three. That's Lauren. Yeah. He's going to do a great one. He says, there's three shows and it's out because he's going to lose. So it's just going to be three shows. So I come in, I do the three shows. I'm laying in bed.

We fall asleep. We don't have a TV in our bedroom, but I got my computer. We fall asleep and I wake up at 3 in the morning. I check. It says Trump won. He won. Oh, boy. And I wake my wife up and I go, Trump won. My wife literally groans and rolls over and goes back to sleep.

And I sit there and go, now I got to do this fucking thing for the next four fucking years. But you, Dana, I'm not just saying this to be polite. I mean, you were a huge inspiration for me because I would watch, I'd show people Bush. I'd show Bush and I'd say, now watch this. And you'd be like,

Nah, I got that. You know, you do all that phonetics. Yeah. You do those insane phonetics with him. And I say, that's it. You make your own character. Yes. It doesn't have to be some precise. No. I mean, I do the worst Trump impersonation of anybody in America.

But the idea was I thought to myself, what does he deserve? He doesn't deserve. I'm a Brendan Gleeson doing the Comey movie, doing the Comey movie with Jeff Daniels. It's like, you know, I could do pencil necks, not even literal pencil necks, but I could do Bush senior and I could do Perot, but for Trump, it'd be hard. But you did have this, you brought this hulking Trumpism to it, you know, that was just innate, uh,

So what did he deserve? He's a two dimensional guy. And I said, and everybody doesn't understand that, you know, you know, infinitely better than I do that you're firing in the cannon on a live show. Oh, yeah. I'm in front of a live audience and TV cameras. Yes. And I just thought to myself, in acting school, they'd say, watch the performance with the sound off.

So we'd watch the sound of it. You'd see the person you were imitating or emulating in whatever way with the sound of it. With trumpet, it was always like, stick your mouth out like you're going to suck the windshield out of a car. Hold your hands up like you're waiting for someone to hand you a towel. They're like this. But a lot of what I said, I showed people your bush. I said, look at this. I said,

He's doing his own thing. He's come up with his own thing, you know? Well, because we didn't know. We didn't know what there was after Reagan, bumbling Reagan. It was like a technocrat. It was like a flat voice. There was nothing there. And then kept teasing out little rhythms, going in that area, that thing, and then taking it to from not going to do it to not God do it. But the audience took it with me. But I wanted to ask you the terror aspect.

until you get used to it, of the whole studio is, the only time it's quiet is right before the cold opening. Everybody's freezes. In the other sketches, there's movement and slats moving around. 15 seconds! Nine seconds. And then you have all these jokes to land. So I remember at one point to myself, I said, think of the script as suggestions.

Because I would get, when the script was too long, I'd say, I feel like I'm doing homework now, Al. It's too many jokes. I'd rather do less and be playful. But how did you deal with all that pressure? Because it's all quiet. And here comes Alec doing Trump. You know, it's scary. I mean, I'm standing there on the stage.

And we're going to do the, we're going to do the dress. And I'm not, I'm not saying this to be amusing or whatever. We're standing there to do the dress. And I go, I have no fucking idea what I'm going to do. All I know is I got to stick my mouth out like this, put my hands up and say, and then try to do, just do the whole. And he's a guy who back then in the early days, we had this gag where it was like, he was a guy who was always groping.

for a stronger word than he never found. So he'd say, I went to this event with this crowd. It was a fantastic crowd. This crowd was truly, truly fantastic. You know, he just loops back. He's not a lot of verbal muscularity. He never runs into a ditch because he has these little phrases many people are saying, and many people are going to see it, we're going to do it because we know how to do it. We know where we're going, and a lot of people don't want us to do it, but we're going to do it anyway.

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Now, when you did your TV show, how many seasons was Just Shoot Me? How many was that? Just Shoot Me was 148 episodes. I think it was six full seasons. Six full seasons. That's great. I would love to do another TV series, I swear. Thank you for pulling it back to me. Because when Dana showed me his bush, it was in his dressing room. Good night. No, I just wanted to say about 30 Rock, because this is something I just didn't really know the breadth of the awards.

for sweet alec for the 30 rock three emmys three golden globes and seven seg awards too many most in history i think it's a little over the top but i mean that yeah that is that's insane seven when i won like the fourth or fifth time i mean like the next team to run on the table here with your cast at the table they go and the winner is alec baldwin i loved it i was like

Now, come on. Where's that? Where's the originality in this? Well, it's also your peers. I mean, I don't I got one Emmy, but a SAG award. That's all actors giving you the award. Is that the did you feel kind of OK, guys? I mean, I appreciate you. I was very grateful. You know, 30 Rock was something where the first season I didn't want to do a TV series because I wasn't sure.

You know, it's like, as we all know, it's like what's going to come up six years if it runs six, seven years from now. So but I did it. I did the pilot and I go, well, you know, this isn't bad. And I knew I wasn't funny. They're funny because they write to me. I've never said I was funny or a comedian because I don't write. You're a comedian when you write your material. You're funny if you want, like Tina and Carlock and BG. And but I went in there and just tried to play.

People said it was Lorne. It wasn't really Lorne because this is a guy who just is very un-self-aware. I wanted to play a guy that was completely un-self-aware. And he walks into a room and doesn't realize I was coming across. It didn't strike me as much Lorne. You're right. And also those TV shows, yours, first of all, it's in town, which is a gift. You don't have to go to LA. Second, you probably wouldn't have done it if it was not in New York. But

Mine was a sitcom, which is easier hours. Yours is shot like a movie. So some of those days can get really hard. Yeah, it was very tough on the crew. But we kept it pretty cool. It was because the joke was that Tina wanted to shoot everything she wrote. So if your character's sitting down there and Jake McCaskey says, what was your date like last night? She'd go, well, whippin'.

show the date. You don't describe it. We don't describe anything. We shoot everything. We show it. We don't tell. Now, when you did your four camera, what studio were you at? Where were you? I was at CBS Radford in the Valley. You were at Radford? Yeah. Same as Will and Grace. Yeah, Will and Grace came on a year after us or two years after us. Then they followed us on the schedule. But we were around when it was very tough. It was Seinfeld. It was ER. It was Friends. Friends.

Frazier, Will and Grace. So it was tough.

Veronica's Closet was the only one we were beating. I think because we were still in like the top 15, but you can't keep up with Seinfeld. These shows are monstrous even years later. So we did a good job, I thought, and I really liked it. And it was a super, super fun experience. But it's hard to get that again. I think we got canceled because we only had about 40 million viewers or something. Well, the other thing is I would tell people, like when you have a fantasy,

I'll never forget, I was parsing myself, and we were talking about a fantasy work situation. And this guy, and I start to go, well, and I'm hedging. The guy goes, Alec, it's a fantasy. He said, have it exactly the way you want. Oh, yeah, make it up. And for me, my fantasy is I'm doing the Jack in the Box show.

I'm coming out there. Me and Audrey Meadows come out. We blow a kiss to the audience. How's everybody doing tonight? Everybody good? All right. I understand we have a birthday in the house. And then we let a cake. There's a 90-year-old lady in the front row. This is McGillicuddy. Everybody join me. Happy birthday. We sing. She blows out the cake. Now, the following week, we do the same fucking thing again. Mrs. McGillicuddy is there. It's her birthday again. I just wanted to have

Like a good time. I want to have a good time. I don't want to do the four count. So I'm going to have to go do the thing with Kelsey. We're going to do this sitcom with Kelsey. And I remember standing there. I'm literally standing on the edge of the set with Chris Lloyd and Vali Chandrasekharan. And Kelsey was nearby. And I go, do you guys notice something about this set? And

Chris Floyd goes, what? I go, well, this guy has a lot of money. His wife has a lot of money. And his wife just left him. And I said, there isn't a feminine touch in this whole room. And everything looks like it's from West Elm. It's all very inexpensive shit. West Elm. And Chris was like, yeah, that's interesting that you say that. I thought, we're not going anywhere. They're never going to come to this fucking party. The set was like, we're not going anywhere. We're going nowhere. We're never going anywhere.

We're not even leaving the gate, let alone getting out the grunt bar. This looks a little too crate and barrel to get picked up. I've been in a lot of bombs. Have you? Oh, yeah. I did a lot of pilots. I did a pilot with, because I was thinking about that comedian thing. Folklore has it that Lucio Ball didn't really, really write much, but you'd give her something and she'd create magic, obviously. But I did a pilot with Desi Arnaz Jr.,

called Whacked Out and we're shooting the pilot and we're bombing. And then all of a sudden I hear a voice on this side of the studio going, what's wrong with you people? This is funny. And it was Lucille Ball in her later years.

So Desi just kind of went, okay, mom's here. And then a huge line formed so that people could get her autograph, but the pilot didn't work, but he was very proud of his dad. A super nice guy. Desi Arnaz. Now you, now you both, you live in LA. You're both in LA right now. Yes, sir. Yeah. Yeah. I have a, I have a, I'm well, right now I'm at a, um, uh, a farm bunker, uh, the farm in the north of Santa Barbara acreage. You,

Here's your quiz. Yeah. Here's your quiz. What movie is that? That's Reds. I just watched it the other day. Geez. The other day? Damn, I love that. Yeah.

Yeah, I just watched Reds the other day. You did. And not only did I watch Reds the other day, I'm being very rude now. The moment I finished watching the movie, I hung up the phone and I called Warren and I talked to him about it for an hour. Well, why is that rude? That sounds amazing. No, I mean, I'm not much of a star fucker name dropper, but it was like- But Warren is so mellow. He's so rich, his mind. I mean, he's really, really- Brilliant.

fascinating how did you like you saw it when it came out how how long had it been since you'd seen it and how did it affect you this time I've probably seen it one of the times since it came out in 1980 I've seen it before because I was always hooked on I was really hooked on the on the witnesses on the testimonials I love that technique where they had the real brilliant talking then they come to the dramatization and um

I'm watching movies now where it's like, I don't mean to be so cliched about it, but it's like things you're just never going to see again. It's like movies now. I mean, every movie I do now is like, you know,

Me and Marlon Brando trapped in an elevator for an hour. No sets, no costumes. I don't know if this is true. I don't know if this is true, but I was told that Jack Nicholson wrote a very, he had sort of a thing for Diane Keaton and he wrote a very, very personal revealing letter and he puts it in the book.

that he gives to her in that scene to create all this sort of tension. But I thought he really stands out as Eugene O'Neill. The whole movie is brilliant. Who would make a movie like that about the Soviet Union? I was told he was in a wardrobe fitting and he dropped his pants and said, my penis, my penis. You didn't hear that?

What is that hat you're wearing? Oh, it just says Midnight Toker. It just got too bright. I don't know why it got bright in here. Midnight Toker, Alec, you know that song. Yes. Yeah. It's just a stupid fucking hat. And a Midnight Joker. But anyway, Reds, we have not talked about Reds on this podcast. So that's a bucket list for me. Let's talk about movies. Give me five of your favorite performances, male or female. What are five movies where the acting to you is so...

Un-excelled. Butch and Sundance. I saw recently. I kind of, I have... Butch Cassidy and Sundance. No, I'm not kidding, Alec. No, no, no. I'm not. Listen, Dana...

I mean, I mean, I mean, I mean, David, you're being very sensitive. I was going to say Veronica's closet. Veronica's closet. Veronica's closet. There's a movie there. That's top. Yes. No, Joe. Good. Danny, you first. Give me, give me three, three performances, men and three by women. Give me three by three by three by women. Oh my God. Essential. Essential.

I was just saw a documentary on Catherine Hepburn. So on Golden Pond, she got me very I was very emotional about her performance in that. I heard your Henry Fonda impersonation, by the way, the other day on the show. I listened. What show was I doing? Quite a few shows on this show. I didn't even remember doing it on the show.

I remember a fella like, I do too. You want to listen to me? I'll name him. You want one great film performance? Yeah. Two great male performances embedded in one film. 12 Angry Men. Incorrect. Okay. All right. But a good guess. All right. That's 12 good performances. The Fail Safe and Larry Hagman in Fail Safe. Oh, God. What a brilliant movie. Yeah. Larry Hagman as the intern. And Henry Bonner. Great acting. I want to know what he's, I don't want to hear what he's saying. I want to know what he's thinking.

They're trying to prevent a nuclear war, and Larry Hagman is the interpreter. Do you know the movie, David? I do. I think they redid it. Yeah, but then it probably wasn't very good. I have somebody... I want to ask Alec a question. Well, go ahead. I don't mean to interrupt. Let's finish our list. Well, I just want to insert one thing here. My wife and I have a really...

A love affair with a few movies with one actor. He's not considered a great actor, but the movies are touchstones for us. Three Days of the Condor.

All the president's men. Right. Yeah. And I think the way we were, those movies are movies you can watch a lot. I also loved, you know, Ordinary People that he directed. I've just sort of have a thing about Robert Redford as a producer, too. And Alex not giving it up at all. No, he. Well, no, but I mean, Redford, of course, is of a certain stripe where they where it was discouraged. It's like it's like Cruz doing Magnolia.

Cruz does Magnolia. He blows everybody away. He's nominated for an Oscar, I believe. He doesn't win. But I mean, everybody knows that Cruz in Magnolia is the greatest acting he's ever done in his life. Yes, give it up. And then when he's done with that, when he's done with revealing these darker edges of himself, his agents and producers, I mean, this is my supposition, they sit him down and they're like, okay, are you done now? Are you happy now? It's like Julia Roberts.

It's like Julia Roberts in Mary Riley. Someone sits her down with Malkovich. They do the origin story of Jekyll and Hyde. And she does Mary Riley. And someone sits her down and says, now, whatever you do,

this patented signature smile of yours. You're not going to smile or laugh one fucking frame of this movie. Don't you dare. Right. We're going to go to the computer. So they do the movie and same thing. She's in a hotel restaurant. They're going, are you done now? Okay. Now you're finished. Let's get back to bring back those 200 teeth. And we're going to go to John Wayne. John Wayne played Genghis Khan for one movie.

That that's all you need to know about. Let's say, Hey Duke, we're going to go get back on the saddle here. Okay. I got one. It's courtroom. The verdict.

Okay, there's Paul Newman again. So there's Newman with Lou Matz, who, I mean, I just came today. I drove up to Vermont yesterday and came back from Treat Williams Memorial Service because of Treat Dye. I know. As you probably know. And I was talking to the crowd there and I said, here's a guy who, you know, you go watch Hair.

And here he is, the Dionysian love god, the rock god. He's dancing on the table. He's so fucking amazing. And within a couple of years, he does Prince of the City. And I said, you're going to understand movies in New York, especially in the mid to the great, great film directors at the peak of their talent. I said, we're in Vermont. And I go, the line of actors.

who wanted to be considered to play the lead in Prince of the City or any great male role in a little bit. Well, that line goes all the way to fucking Albany. Everybody in New York wanted that part. Everybody. And Tariq got there. And with Newman, he knew, like, there's my chance to dig down. Now, the Oscars were in 83. I drove cross country for the first time to live in L.A.

my drive to la we're there we have an oscar party and ben kingsley wins for gandhi david's gonna go he's dead he's done no no um ben kingsley wins for god and i've always said that those people who win for biographical films of living people they bring the the mantle of that person into the room too so i'm not as excited you know what i mean are you giving an oscar to ben kingsley's performance are you giving an oscar to gandhi so when newman lost in the

in The Verdict, which I think is one of the greatest 25 performances of all time, we threw our beer cans at the fucking TV. We were screaming in outrage. But you're right. The Verdict, great fucking. And James Mason?

I use it to pay the money pays for my whiskey. I'm whiskey. I love him. James Mason. Yeah. Well, what do you think of De Niro and Raging Bull just as a performance? That's a pretty...

Well, De Niro is someone who is a- He's got a bunch of them, but yeah. Well, he's very gifted, but he also has the great, I mean, he'd be the first to say he has the great good fortune, especially during the genesis of his career of being part of a battery with a great director.

Raging Bull isn't Raging Bull because of Bob. Raging Bull is Raging Bull because of Bob and Marty. And Michael Chapman. I mean, the way they shot it, the way they cut it. I did a small part in The Departed. I did a small part in The Aviator with Leo. And I mean, you're just...

So you're like, "Hi." You're so fucking thrilled to be in the Departed. - The Departed by itself on its own is unreal. - Could you describe for a second what it's like to be on a set with him? Is it just 'cause he's so focused, so likable? What is it about being around him and being directed by him? - Well, you know, you get from him, maybe I'm superimposing this, like he kind of telegraphs to you that we're gonna do your scene here where you're outside the door and I got a pipe and I'm talking to Leo through the door. Like, "How would it's work?"

And he's naked and he's pissing in the jars and he's in the other room. And you know with Marty that you're smart enough, or at least you're smart enough to know. It ain't about you.

So let's get four or five good takes. Get your pipe lit. Get your lines down. Get your angle to the camera. How are you going to play? The door is here. You don't talk to a door because it's not the person. So you're kind of playing out and you're doing everything you need to do. And you want to get it over with quickly because you know that Marty wants to get in the room with Leo for the rest of the day. Leo naked, pissing in the bottle. Leo with the matted hair. Leo

You get it. It's not about you. It's not about you. So you want to be efficient.

And then they go off and they go like with the departed. We did the departed and, uh, you know, it was like, uh, Jack and, uh, uh, Matt and those guys, they were the stars of the film. I just came in. I mean, I play my little notes. You know what I mean? That's it. Just like a rat, like a rat. I remember when Nicholson went for that rat face. It's very bold in that moment in the departed, but what's your favorite Nicholson movie? Um, hard to say, but I got one. Go ahead, boy.

Let me hear yours. Maybe I'll, if you're right there with me. I'll tell you if you're right.

Of course you will. He's a mind reader. Of course you will. Go ahead. What is the name? Now I'm blanking out because of you guys. Five Easy Pieces. No, no, that's close. I like that movie. And not Chinatown, although I love Chinatown. Not Chinatown. I love Chinatown. How much better can you eat? What can you have that you don't already have? The future, Mr. Gitz. Ha, ha, ha.

John Houston impression from Alec Baldwin. My favorite story he told me, Jack, was that he's on the set and it's Polanski and Houston and Jack. And they're shooting these scenes between the three of them. And he said that there's Polanski holding forth and he's talking and talking and talking and talking.

And finally, he's finished talking. And he said that Houston pronounced his name Romain. He called him Romain. And he said that Houston, he said that Houston looks at Polanski and says, he looks at Polanski and says,

Now, Ramon, there are really only two directions. A little more and a little less. And I thought you want to know something? You're fucking right. You're fucking right. Yeah. Well, let's let you guys say something while I look up this. OK, I got I got my offshoot one while you're Googling. You tell me if it's me with me. Go ahead. No, this is a different one. This is a Poba Greenwich Village with I ain't going to be a fucking T-boy, a bed bug, Eddie.

With Eric Roberts? Eric Roberts. That's a good performance. It's a little not the obvious, obvious one, right? My favorite, my favorite. Don't skim it. You're skimming me. You know what? Okay. How about Deer Hunter for him and Walken?

Deer Hunter for De Niro and Walken. This is this. You do a great De Niro. My favorite Nicholson is Ironweed. Ironweed with Meryl Streep. My favorite Nicholson. That movie makes me sob every time I cut sob. I'm going to watch that tonight. I'm going to watch that tonight. Ironweed. I was going to see it, but I was sick that day. Do De Niro? No, I'm not going to do De Niro because you're probably doing better. No, no, I don't do a De Niro. I don't go in places where someone's already. Oh, you know what, Alex?

When you did De Niro, did you're the one that was doing a little bit, little bit? Well, we would do a little bit. My favorite was we did the Joe Pesci show. We did. We did the mock. We did that on Pesci. But the other thing was the mock opening of Goodfellas. And I mean, I love going home to my neighborhood in Massapequa. I didn't do De Niro. I go my own neighborhood in Massapequa. And it was Frankie the Fish.

And it was Louis, the Louis, the limp. And then they get to the guy that goes, and it was Tommy six times because he said everything six times. I'm going to go get the papers, get the papers, get the papers, get the papers, get the papers. I was in that cold opening. I was I was out of focus, Jimmy.

Out of focus, Jimmy. Oh, my God. I remember I just saw this on like Instagram. They were panning. They pan around like every fucking person. The cast is in it and they go around. Everyone's got a different bit to do. Well, the when I go back to archivally and watch stuff. I mean, I watch, you know, I watched when I first came on there. It's like, you know, very little of it stuff I'm in.

except when we did the stupid thing. The only time I ever cracked when we did the show, and I think this was really the only time, was with Hartman. And we did this thing called the environmentally sensitive model.

which was a take on The Wild One. And I played the Smarlin' Brando. And one thing I do is Veronica Victoria Jackson's there and they have her all dressed up and her boobs are like two garbage cans sticking in her face. And she has a little sweater on. And I walk up to her and she goes, can I come with you, Johnny? I take her sweater and I go, and I pull it down and I go,

Yeah, you can come in. I have to get a good look. So I ripped the sweater off. But then in the end, Hartman had played the lines, like every masterful actor, he played the lines and threw them away until the take, until the end. And we do the air episode. And the guy says, boss, we got to go.

I'm going to ride off with his daughter into the sunset. And he owns the chemical company. And his henchman comes and goes, boss, we got to go. Tank number seven's blowing too. And all of a sudden, Hartman, who'd thrown the line away, turns around with this perfect whine in his voice. And Graeme finally tells him, he goes, take me with you. I just heard Phil for a second. That's really...

Take me with you. He just did this horrible whine and I literally fucking cracked up. So good. Yeah. He wasn't, don't you love him? Oh, we're going to, we're going to do a tribute show to Phil to talk about his greatness. In September, it's one or two dates at the Groundlings, but you could zoom in and talk to us about him. He won a Sailing Nice.

Bill Hader and Will Ferrell. So many people have mentioned him as a touchstone and just the guy who could do anything and we miss him. And so I just heard him for a second and I got a little emotional. Like, I mean, you captured it. The Sinatra report. Oh, fuck. Oh, yeah. I got chunks of stool bigger than you guys or whatever. Listen,

Luther Campbell, he turned to Chris, can't understand the word. I'm just getting pops and bangs over here or something like that. Yeah. Oh, I, I, I, I mean that when I go back and look at the show, that's what I look at. I look at this fucking guy, but like guys who could really, really, you know, will and Sherry and, uh,

You guys, Hans and Franz. My kids love Hans and Franz. I think that's fucking hysterical. That's very flattering at this point. No, they do. I watch my show, my kids listen to it all the time. Yeah, if you like that kind of stuff. What about you with the fake, with the bad soap opera guy? You've got Canker.

Remember? The east of Vegas. This might be the first show you were on because I remember Bad Soap Bar, but Green Hillie where- Yeah, but the dog, my tongue and the dog's mouth. You're kissing everyone. Yeah, yeah. And well, Canteen Boy was probably later. Was that, that was early on or no? With you and Sandler? So with Sandler, so it was a while ago, Sandler. Maybe 90, 91. It was probably early on because Sandler came on, not your first show. He came on probably by the time you were there, second or third show.

Canteen Boy was a fucking hilarious one that we all loved. You were cool for doing it, even though it took some... Back then, it was only letters. You could ignore them better. It's not direct Twitter. Yeah, we got a lot of letters about that. What was that woman's name who was the standards person? She had like an English accent. It wasn't Audrey Pert. Was she British? Yeah, Audrey Pert was British. Dickman. Yeah. I don't know if she was...

exactly standards but was it truly pert dickman was she i believe she was audrey pert dickman and she was quite a character lovely lady well i love she i love when she would walk in in my earliest days i found the process so funny she could come into lauren's office or wherever they were for the uh for the notes and she's been like and now you can you can't say bowls

But you can say you can say pussy and you can't say you can say scrotum. You can't say dick. She'd have a whole list. Yeah. And here was this woman like right out of Mary Poppins. You can't say suck or blow, but you can say fillet. You can say gobble the goo. You can't say spladoodle. You can say fisting.

But you can't say anal digits. Sorry. You can say streaming ropes of jizz. Yes, you can say fisting, but you must cut the back half of the line up to the shoulder. You can't say that. Good take. You can say squirting, but no, you can't say squirting, but you can say squirt.

So for sweaty balls, did she give you notes for sweaty balls? I mean, that, that sounds, I just, I just wrote in their wake. I mean, I get in there with them and I thought, I don't want it. Literally I'd sit there and keep this stone face and do it. And people say, Oh, they love that sketch. I just thought, I just have to go with them. I have to, I have to, I have to get into their frequency and they were so soft and so sincere. And so I thought, just imitate them, get into the vibe of the show. And it were, cause there's sometimes you do sketches and,

And you lose the rhythm between the live camera and the audience. One minute you're acting for the theater, you know, and one minute, the next minute you're not. I remember one time I played a guy who gets shot to pieces in a foxhole. It's like a World War I movie. And I grabbed this guy and I'm like, you know, Jimmy, I want you to do me a favor. Tell my wife and my kids that I love them.

He's like, I will. I will, Captain. I will. And he goes to walk away. I go, Jimmy! And I pull him back. And everything I say is progressively more absurd. I'm like, Jimmy, I want you to tell my brother-in-law that a man that's paralyzed can never be more than half a man. You know? And it keeps escalating. Yeah. And it keeps going so bad. Like things you could never. Do you focus on that, which is cancellation now and things you could never do like that?

Oh, yeah. I did an Asian character in 86. I had no idea it could never fly now. But on the third time we did it, Candice Bergen was the host. And then we addressed it. And she said, well, you are a bit of a racial stereotype to me in character as this Asian character. This was 86.

And even back then, it did get a little bit of noise. But I lived in San Francisco. I live near Chinatown. So I'd known this guy. I talked to him occasionally. He had a pet. Gina, that's not an excuse. OK, that's that's. I live near Chinatown. Did you do the one 40 years ago, folks? Hold your did you do the one where you were a cop and you were sickened by a car? And you threw up?

They ran the hoses across the stage. Up our pants like me and Fallon. And up my arm. And I said, kid, listen.

You're going to have to get used to bodies like this, whatever the fuck it was. And Jimmy, and Jimmy, of course, was at the height of his cracking up in the middle of the stretcher. Yeah. And so he's like snickering and snickering. And finally, so he sees the body and they had us hold our hands up in this very theatrical way because the little nub, the little nib of the pipe was coming in the palm. So Jimmy would go like this and then this huge, like,

garden hose projectile vomit spray would come out and then him vomiting makes me vomit. You know what I mean? So, but I want to say back to your Asian stereotype that ironically- I apologize. Thanks. No, no, no, no, no. It's okay.

But I'll never forget one of the deftest, most unbelievable things I saw on the show was when we did the Japanese game show with Chris. Oh, my God. Know all about it. And fucking Mike Myers comes out and plays the Japanese game show host and was like,

I remember sitting there going, does Myers really speak Japanese? God, it was really good. He nailed it. It was like, didn't he do it phonetically? Like actual Japanese language. He was like, he was like, he was like Olivia. He was so brilliant in that part. And Chris, I came here to see a game show, not be on a game show.

Quacky Serpy Neekoo. And he gets it right at the end. And Meyer's going, Quacky Serpy Neekoo. Yeah, and then they chop someone's finger off that gets it wrong, and he goes...

I, again, I don't speak Japanese. I don't think I'm going to do anything here with you. Oh, and then they electrocute him. They put electrocute his balls. And then I, then I lose. Me and Jeannie Garofalo lose and we chop our fingers off. They hand us the ceremony on that. And you see, we're there and Farley, he's like, oh, good lord. Yeah.

We're slicing our fingers off. Dude, that's such an all-time sketch. That is such a great one. It's potent. It is potent, man. I mean, it just lies. Some sketches are like that. You can't take a look away.

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I know. And it's not learning a language when you're older, you know, over the age of 20 is difficult. You know, I mean, all the high school Spanish I took a grade school Spanish, you know, all I can say is Ola and hasta luego. So it goes out of your head. So now you have Rosetta stone, David, tell them about it. Well, Dana, you know, more than anyone trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users in 25 languages. Uh, I mean, my gosh, uh,

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Now, do you guys, I mean, this is not, don't answer this question if you don't want to. Do you tune in every now and then and watch it? I mean, as alums, do you watch it every now and then? I watch most shows, I'll be true confessional, Sunday morning when I'm having coffee. And then they're all stacked up.

And I'm able to watch. I watch the show that way. So, I mean, I'm honestly, you got eight kids, seven kids. What are you up at? Yeah. You're not, you're not up that way. You can't afford a TV. Yeah. I'm asleep at 1030. I can't afford an iPad. No, I, Alec, I actually watch either Twitter, Instagram, one of my follow SNL. And what they do smartly is,

Every sketch, as it comes out, it pops on your Twitter like the full sketch. So the next day you can sift through and you just can watch the whole one or a chunk of update or someone's bid on update. So it's very convenient and it still counts. I mean, you still get to see it. I wish we had that back then. If you missed the show, you had to wait for a rerun for six months. I believe, oh, sorry to interrupt. Just in terms of the ratings, I think it's the highest rated show.

show on NBC. I mean, in prime or late night. Once they did that prime time thing on the West Coast, when they moved that to prime time, and they do it live both places simultaneously, 8.30 in LA and 11.30 in New York, that changed everything. I mean, they're printing money. And they get a couple billion YouTube views or 1.6 billion last year. And as you know, isn't it funny how over the years, I'm always going to

you know, exalt Lauren. And he's a dear friend of mine, but it's like, how many people have tried to take him down? I mean, how many people have tried to shoot Saturday night and get rid of Saturday night live and kill it off and have somebody, you know, another network and next season, season 49 is a year away from his 50th season. There's no other personality that I know of before we get to the book, that silly book. Uh,

When you're at this point looking back, you go, only Lorne could do all those frequencies. The Harvard people respect his intelligence. He knows how to talk to network people. There must have been so many times like, let's do this pre-tape, turn it into an hour. We should change the theme. It's getting boring. I mean, he's held to this brand all these years, and that's what makes it such a seminal show.

in the history. And I, I just, his understanding was very, his understanding of certain things was frequently, maybe not every instance, but his understanding of the situation was frequently so pithy. Like I, like when I did 30 rock, I knew one thing very early because I'd done movies with people and I, and I did movies back in the days when you had a 10 or 12 week schedule. Yeah. It's not like a shooting a movie in five days like now. And, uh,

And I was there on 30 Rock, and I knew one thing. I said, she's my co-star. She's the creator of the show. She's the head writer. But I'm on camera, so if I have any issues about the writing, I can't talk to her. I need to go. So I assigned Carlock that role in BG, and I'd be going to my room, and I'd say, well, I don't think I want to say that. I don't think I will. Let's say this a little less harshly. Let's say this a little differently. And there might have been one instance where she said to me, well, I really might even do this as written.

And or something where it wasn't like a problem, but it was like it was it was like one moment of of of debate about something. And I'll never forget. We're talking one day later on. And Laura goes, remember, she's German.

Faye is German? Yeah. He goes, remember, she's German. Yeah. And he'd always say things like that. Remember, she's German. Lauren, like a lot of smart people, would take a giant subject and get it down to like four or five syllables. You know, like something like that. He's not going to give you a 10-minute speech about temperament or whatever. Remember, she's German. No.

And that's all he's done. He's the master of that. Yeah. He sends you flowers, sends you presents. It's always a one-line joke. Yeah. What's your favorite Lorne-ism or ones that most people know? Because I have one that I don't think everybody knows, but...

The classics are right or exactly. Those are the simple ones. Mine is you'd be sitting there having dinner at his house and he'd be talking and regaling you with stories of his real friends because his real friends are the ones from the original days, Steve Martin. You'd say Steve. Steve. And Paul. There's two Pauls. Paul. Paul. Paul. Yeah. The other Paul. Yeah.

Left-handed Paul. Marty and Steve came by. And I would say that you're in that posse too.

He speaks. Ed Schlossberg came by. Ed Schlossberg. But my favorite thing was he would, his recall mechanism, his groping thing, which we all have, we have a thing we use to, what I call a recall mechanism. So he's telling a story. As he goes to recall, he'd go, well, it's, you know, it's like that thing where he'd say, it's like that thing. Yeah. And I was going to call my podcast, which is called Here's the Thing. Yeah. We were going to call it, It's Like That Thing.

But then we thought we thought our other show now. But let me ask you this. You guys started this how long ago? You've been doing this how many years now? No, a year and a half. Was this a covid born thing or no?

Not really. It was just that the podcasting world had gotten so, it had this bubble. It grew and it was going crazy. And then I had a little off-label podcast. I had no network or anything. I was doing, David came on. Damn radio. And so David and I are riffing and our mutual manager, Mark Govitz, he does a good impression. Hi, Mark, if he's listening.

said you guys should do a show a podcast so we just thought we'd try it you know because we liked hanging out i moved back down to la after raising my kids up in northern california and i kept seeing david going out to dinner with david and stuff so so then we thought we'd try it and then because we attached the snl theme we don't really know why but for our purposes it kind of got really big we're like damn yeah yeah i loved the guest list i bought away and he used to you two

I mean, I had an address, a different address as rental married to my ex wife, blah, blah, blah, for 30 years from 1983 to 2013. Then after 2013, when my daughter Ireland turned 18, I didn't have a place there anymore. And I haven't had a home there. We would go out there and hotel it for a while when we had, we only had a couple of kids. And my point is, I haven't been out there forever. How is it out there now? What's it like?

It's a little rough around the edges, David, as you would say. I mean, there's a huge homeless problem and a huge crime problem. And so you have to really watch yourself. They say, come for the taxes, stay for the crime. And the weather. And also, it's finally sunny today. It hasn't been sunny, Alec, for six months. And if all these other things are going on, at least give us some sun. It's a little different. I mean, I just like, I'm from Arizona, so I like sun.

this side of the country. I wasn't ever like an East Coast guy, but it's getting a little trickier. Did you struggle? Did you struggle in New York? You didn't like it? I liked it. It was interesting, but I didn't really feel any roots there, any home. So when we had weeks off, Farley would go to Wisconsin, Adam would go to New Hampshire, Chris Rock would go to Brooklyn. And I would just sometimes fly back home to LA and

come back. But, um, you know, my brother was there for a while. And so I'd see them. Uh, one time I saw Alec Baldwin outside of, I think it was by Ollie's in the, uh, West side, uh,

And it was only after I met you once on the one show. Are you saying I'm fat? Are you saying I'm fat? No, you were a superstar. And some guy goes, hey, squeebsquabber, you said something funny from my act. And then you pulled your parka down and you pulled your dick out. No, you pulled your parka down. You can't say pull your dick out. You have to say reveal your penis. This is a tear-jerking story.

Oh, sorry. Go ahead. Anyway, so you started jerking off. And no, you pulled your parking dad. You go, hey, it's me, Alec, from the show. I go, well, I know Alec. Why do you know me? So it was very... I actually wrote on that for a while. It gave me a little street cred. You know what's funny? Was it because I was there? Was when Stern and his wife...

had that benefit of the talk house. - Oh, were you there? - I was there and you fucking killed. You were so funny. - Oh, I did stand up. Thank you. - You did a stand up thing for the benefit and you were so fucking funny.

I didn't even know you were there. The scary thing. You, you were fantastic. How long was it? Was it a tough crowd in your mind, David, or do you remember killing? You know, it was pretty nice because I started, it was, it was very small. It was for Beth, the Stern's animal foundation. And so it was kind of, it was kind of, it was really fun to do, but you know,

I think Bon Jovi, John was there maybe. I don't know if you saw him, but it was all, it was all a little squad out there and it was nerve wracking because it was mostly these kinds of guys. And it was, it was more fun. Oh yeah. By the way, Lauren, of course throws you off because they go, there's going to be an empty seat next to Lauren for Jack. So Jack might come and sit directly in front of you in the front row. And so that makes me feel sick because you know, we've all seen iron weed and

So I, anyway, I do my act. I joke around with Beth. I make fun of her. I make fun of, and then, and then I sort of got in the act at about 30, 40, but it was super fun and got to go to Lauren's after. And what was the joke you made about drugs? It was something you said about scoring drugs or.

Something you said. Maybe it was. Which I literally like sharted when you said that. I don't know. I'll say it and then you'll be like, no, it wasn't that. It was like I said, whenever I take drugs, my loser friends always, whenever I take any pill out of my pocket, my buddy goes, give me one. I go, you don't even know what it is. He goes, come on, dude, I'm married. I go, what does that mean? I go, this one's for a sinus infection. It gives you cramps. He goes, come on, dude, I got kids. I'll take anything. So I give it to him because he wants it to be a Vicodin.

And then I see him cramped over a half hour later and then he gives me the thumbs up. It's different. I'll take it. So anyway, Alec, it's not that joke, but there's a whole thing. It wasn't that joke, actually. I'll send you a link to my specials. It was a better joke. It was a better joke. You fucking asshole. I knew you were going to say that no matter what I said. I fell into that. David has called our guest a fucking asshole. I log-rode you. I log-rode you. So LA, where I lived, I mean, I lived in Venice, California.

I mean, I remember, you don't know Venice, man. I remember Venice. Oh, yeah, Venice is great. You don't know Venice. Venice is a beach. Venice, when they were selling LSD, the guy was on roller skates. He'd be roller skating down going, Sid, Sid, I got you, Sid. I got you, Sid. And we would hang out there. I remember it was like Bright Lights, Big Sydney, literally. It was Jay McInerney's my neighbor. And it was...

It was like Bright Lakes, big city, because I would be so fucking waste. Remember, I always tell people because I'm 38 years old. I don't fuck with it that much. Right. So you party pretty hard. I have my moment. But the point is that in New York, as we always discuss with people in New York, somebody else is doing the driving.

you're on your back in the 80s you're on your feet you walk everywhere 10 bars every street yeah yeah uh uh uh taxis no uber then subway a lot of subway and we would be fucking shit faced every every night i go to la and i start making money and i'm shit-faced every night behind the wheel of a car and i get to like the second

of me doing, I think I had a five liter Mustang. I met Warner brothers and I want to go home because I'm tired. It's two o'clock in the morning and I met Warner brothers and I live in Venice. And by the time I get to the 10 freeway going West toward the beach, I get near, uh, like, uh, you know, uh,

one of those streets there, um, sent and Bella or whatever the fuck it is. And I, and I, and I saw tell, and I'm going to flat now I go, everybody tells me this car will do blah, blah, blah. And I flattened this car out and I'm doing 135 miles an hour.

on the Santa Monica freeway at two o'clock in the morning. I remember I literally thought for a moment, I stopped and I thought, if I had a car accident now, I would just turn into a pizza. I've just become a pizza. And I said, I got to stop. So I stopped, I slowed the car down, got sober, gave the car to a friend. I gave it away. I said, you can have a friend's kid. And the point is, is that, you know, I lived out there

And I lived everywhere. I lived in the Valley, Beachwood Canyon, everywhere. And it's just so weird to me. It was such a huge part of my life. And I never go there. Never, never, never. Do you ever get offered work? Because here in New York. Yeah. Because here in New York, it's easier here because in New York, we've been stepping over bodies for decades here. I mean, it's no big deal to us. I mean, like it is. You guys are all a little precious. We got a bit of Venice is really bad for that. I mean, I'm not making fun of homeless people. They're great. You know, they're not great. I'd be up all night.

And the sun's coming up and then you hear the sand gratings out of the beach. Then you'd hear the power washers where they would wash all the filth off the benches on the oceanfront walk in a truck with a tank on it. And by the time you woke up on Monday afternoon, because you've been sleeping all morning because you were so fucked up, you go out on the beach and everything was gleaming. It was like the little window. Monday afternoon and Tuesday during the day that Venice was like fresh and new. You know what I mean? And I loved living in that slum.

People still love it. I never go. People still, I mean, there's a lot of parts are nice. Not getting specific. Where are you? Are you west or are you east? I'll just give you the central, latitude, longitude. I'm pretty much in Hollywood.

in the hill a bit. It's not even Beverly Hills anymore. As my dad said, kind of sliding down the old fame ladder, huh? But my dad is supportive. Jason Schwartzman had the best line. I did a commercial with him. It's absolutely a horrible commercial.

And I fell in love with him. He said, just sweetie. We did a commercial for Amazon Alexa and it was the biggest fucking waste of my time, but I loved him. And I turned to him and I go, and I forgot, I mean, I knew who his mom was, but I just went out of my head for a minute. I go, where did you grow up? And you saw this pause, like he was a kind of shame and he was kind of awkward. And I go, where did you grow up? And there's a pause and he goes,

uh westwood north of sunset yeah you gotta clarify i'm in uh sunset plaza which is fully fucked i know sunset plaza yeah it's nice i mean parts of it and i have a tenth of an acre i'm not doing too bad it's actually well it's it's quite like land it's a nice house yeah no it's good alec what about that what did he i don't know if he knows about that book burn it down did you hear that

Yeah, I mean, the one where the woman is attacking everybody. Listen, I mean, I've been attacked. You know, I've had people attack me. Oh, yeah. And it's always the same tired. And I mean, let's face it, as you get older, you realize some of it I brought on myself, some of it not. And you must always tell yourself it's hard, but you must always tell yourself that tired trope, which is considered the source. So like I said, if Letterman made fun of me,

If

Ellen DeGeneres, somebody I admire. Chris Rock made fun of me. Then I'd really be upset. I'd be sad. But some of the people that over the years, especially recently, that have attacked me are people who I don't think are funny. They don't have any talent. They're just a bile duct of hatred for people online and so forth. So it's like, I really doesn't bother them. They're not anybody who I give them too much. Because I've been around people. When I gave that image to you, David, of the log rolling thing, I did early. I did Letterman when he was doing the old show.

on NBC late at night. And he could just gut you. He was so clever and so quick. And you were very, very, you know, everything you said was what I call red wire, green wire.

Because it's like in the old episodes of Mission Impossible where it's like the guy's here, he's like, which wire do I cut? The red wire or the green wire to defuse the bomb? When you're caught with a decision, a quick decision that could be fatal, we always say red wire, green wire, my friends and I. And it's like with Letterman, it was like, you know, don't, he's going to kill you. He's in a log room.

And, uh, uh, there's a handful of people I've met, uh, who are just that witty and that quick, like Spade. I mean, Spade is so quick, you know, and, uh, uh, it's, and Tina, you know, and, uh,

So those people did me in. It's a little bit more disconcerting, but there's a lot of them where you sit there and go, is that all you got? You know what I mean? It's a weird one. - Well, some come from a fun place and some feel really going after it. And that's the difference. I've made fun of people on Hollywood Minute and stuff.

I, and I like 99% of them. Uh, I don't do it as much anymore, but when I make fun of people, it's usually with more of a spin and fun, but sometimes it feels too rough, you know, and you go, that one is sort of directly at someone and that's tougher to take. Cause we all, we all go ahead. People. No, I'm just saying I, when people make fun of me, I don't like it as much as when I make fun of them.

Well, it's funny how we all know. We're all old enough to know, especially me. I'm a bit older than you guys. No, no, I'm older than you, Alec, but we'll get to that later. I'm 65. How old are you? Eight. Jesus. 68. You're like a kid to me. No. Are you fucking kidding me? You're like a kid to me. You're like a baby in a crib. You're like a high school student. But you sound like a child. I mean, you sound like a child all the time. You should see this wiener. Hi. Well, I'm...

You sound like an Asian child. Every impression is Asian. Yeah. Do the Asian child. But you guys know, looking back, because we all started devouring content.

Whatever it was, I started devouring the old Warner Brothers gangster movies when I was 10 years old. Yeah. I watched Dean Martin Rose. I wasn't going to watch. I mean, I watched TV up to a certain point. I watched series TV until a certain era. I watched the Munsters and Gilligan's Island and the Beverly Hillbillies and all this other shit. And I watched Mr. Ed and the Ed Sullivan Show and Candid Camera when I was a little boy. Then when we get to what I call the Aaron Spelling epoch,

I turned off TV. I didn't watch. I watched one show. Love Boat. Oh, that's the hotel, which I was on, actually. Hotel. Hotel with James Brolin. But the gag is that...

You know, I watched one show when I was like in high school and I was a teenager. I'd smoke a big fatty out the window of my bedroom and I'd watch Mary Hartman, Mary Hartman. I was addicted to that show. I started getting more into movies. But my point is that we all know from watching Dean Martin Rose and things that when Rickles would attack people, everybody was in on the gag and he always ended it with a little dollop of love, a little PS, I love you. You know what I mean? When Joan Rivers would do her thing, which she could just eviscerate, you know,

She did a lot of it to their faces. Like there's a clip online of her just pissing in the face of all the hosts of The View and saying things about them. It's the funniest thing you've ever seen in your life. But same with her. She knew they were in on the gag and sometimes not, but she was good at it. But there's other people now who I've seen recently, a couple lately, where it just, there is no bottom. I mean, there is, normally there was a bottom.

And now they will say anything. They will say anything. That's kind of tough. Well, we're in the era of, this is maybe the biggest cliche, but if it's outrageous, it's contagious.

So people, you know, how do you be outrageous? How do you get attention? How do you trend? How do you make noise? You know, and it kind of dovetails into these things. This is why I'm quitting. I'm retiring. I'm retiring. I'm done. We got to, if we finally, are we going to trend? We don't, we never trend. I'm retiring. Thank you. I've got a couple of projects that I'm attached to. Yeah. And I'm going to do these projects. And then I really, I realized I've gone from COVID to,

And then of course, a very difficult period of what happened in New Mexico where I was kind of cloistered. I have been home with my kids and left. I either shot in New York, we filmed in New York, or I went away almost never. I'd go like a week, I'd come back maybe twice a year. I've been home with my kids and I drive my kids to school every day. My four oldest ones go to school together out in Brooklyn. They go to a full language immersion program in Brooklyn in Spanish. And-

I'm with my kids and it's like, I rode my kayak into this current and I can't get out. Like, I don't want to miss being with my family, being with my wife, being with my kids. When you got to offer me the check or you got to give me the towering creative opportunity where I'm like, I don't fucking care anymore. Like I've done that. Acting is something which I don't have the same feeling about.

You know, Dana, I think we have a connection. We've been friends for a long time. And for this episode of Fly on the Wall, we've partnered with eHarmony, which isn't us. eHarmony is a dating app to find someone you can be yourself with. We are not dating. I want to clarify that. But the connection is what you want in a dating partner.

just someone like, if you found someone that listened to this podcast, that's somewhat of a connection. And then you sort of build on that. You want someone with some common ground. Yeah. It's not, it, look, if you want to connect romantically over, you know, super fly or fly on the wall, uh,

It just makes us happy. You don't want to be watching The Godfather and the person next to you goes, this movie sucks. You want to- So dumb. Yeah. You want to connect on all issues and harmonize in life. Similar sensibility, similar sense of humor, and similar sense of sense. I don't like when they watch The Godfather and they're like, everyone in this movie is so old. I'm like, they're 40.

Watch 2001 Space Odyssey. Too much of this movie is in outer space. I don't like it. When do they land? When do they land? Why is that stupid red light acting so silly? Who's friends with a robot? We know dating isn't easy. That's why we partnered with eHarmony because dating is different on eHarmony. They want you to find someone who gets you, someone you can be comfortable with.

Yeah. I mean, the whole idea is you're going to take a compatibility quiz, helps your personality come out in your profile, which makes all the profiles on eHarmony way more interesting and fun to read. So I think this is the goal of dating sites, and I think eHarmony does it great. It's just finding somebody you're compatible with.

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My kids all have a very, very, my kids are New Yorkers, you know, so there's really kind of a, there's a Pesci-esque, De Niro-esque, Pacino-esque edge. They're tough kids then. Yeah, no, they're tough. And you, yeah. My son, Romeo, who's the most beatific. I mean, I used to look at pictures of my son Romeo online. He's absolutely the most beautiful boy you've ever seen. And we're in the, last summer, we're in the playroom and I say, listen, pal, we're going to go have dinner. I go, leave the toys here.

So leave the puzzles and the toys here. We're going to go have dinner. And then because when you bring the toys with you, don't eat. So let's leave the toys here. And then after dinner, we'll come back and play with the toys. And he stares at me. It's like an Eastwood movie. He stares at me. He goes, you're a bitch. And I literally start to hyperventilate. I started to grab my chest. And I go, what did you say? And he doubles down. He goes, I'll call you a bitch.

Like, you know, I see your bitch and I raise you one bitch. I call my wife in the room and you realize they get all this on YouTube. So we have their pads filtered. But if they get a hold of my pad and they go on my safari and they go and watch, you know, they're watching Goodfellas. A movie called You a Bitch. They're watching that new series on Netflix, You a Bitch. Yeah.

I call you a bitch. Yeah. So he sees that somewhere and now he's using it with you, which is very ballsy. Sorry, but what age and what size is this human being when he calls you the bitch? Can you take him? Age and size. He's a little, he's the size of a Tootsie Roller. He's a little kid. He's a fucking kid. I have things for dinner bigger than him. It's like he's, no, but my son, my son's, my son Raphael just turned eight. He's getting older and lankier. My son Leo is seven.

My son Romain was five and my son Eduardo is two and a half. He'll be three in September. But my point is, is that it's like watching human development in real time, being around them, watching them change, watching them try to tell a joke for the first time, trying to be funny. Right.

Oh, yeah. To watch when they have some real generosity between them, you know, when they're really together as a unit and they love each other when they're not, you know, when it's not a Hagler Hearns here on Friday night, you know, the it's just something that's very hard for me to understand.

to give up. So, I mean, I want to work, but I hate to leave. Those are nice moments, yeah. It's getting to know a human being from the inside out. Now, Spade, you said you have a daughter? Mm-hmm. How old is she? 14. She's 14. Yeah. And you raised her in LA. No, she's in the Midwest. She doesn't live with me. We'll do a side chat. She doesn't live with me, but we- You can DM later. She's great, and I'm seeing her next week. So, I see her a lot. It's just, it's not the perfect, typical-

- I've been there, I've been there. - You know what I mean? - My daughter Ireland just had a baby, so I occupied that rare space. - Oh, she did? - My daughter Ireland had a little girl named Holland, and that's a tradition in my family, naming her children after countries and regions of the world. - You know, Alec, I talked to Ireland once, I think she was about eight,

She called you a bitch? She said you're a bitch? She called me and then she hung up. I called you a bitch. But I had caller ID. No, Kim, I worked out where Kim did and she had just seen The Emperor's New Groove, an old cartoon movie I did. And she said, would you call Ireland as the llama? I was played a llama. It's online. I'll send you a link. So I call because Ireland is just a little kid that likes that movie. So she talked to me.

Like, I don't even know what I'm saying. But anyway, you get it. It's called I'm a Great Guy. Whatever. That's the moral of the story. Don't you love doing animation? Oh, yeah. And I'll say this without an ounce of irony or sarcasm. People say to me, what do you think is the greatest movie you ever were in?

What's the best movie you ever made? And I went out of hands and I go, Boss Baby. Boss Baby is the greatest movie I've ever made. I had more fun. Those guys, because as you know, the concept, the one line on it is that animation is so thrilling because, and your imagination, keep up with technology.

Because you can do anything. What have you got? So great. And I would do Tom McGrath, who directed and did those things and does a lot of voices in Madagascar, did The Penguin in Madagascar. I mean, Tom McGrath, he made me fucking cry. And I had more fun doing the first boss, and the second one too, but the first one was like the first one, so it was so great. And I love doing animation. Love, love, love, love, love.

I think Boss Baby was funnier than it was supposed to be because I heard so much about it. It was like, you never know with those things. You know, you do it. But the art, I remember sitting in the room. I'm in my kid's playroom. I'm in my kid's playroom right now because the only room is quiet because they're not here. And I remember doing Boss Baby and like a year later, because I never watched my own films. I can't stand and watch my own films. And I almost never do. But I'm sitting with my kids and they want to watch Boss Baby. And I watch it.

And I start getting tears in my eyes. And I call Tom. I go, Tom, this movie is so beautifully done. Like the artwork. I mean, they do. Yeah. And the artwork is so, I mean, those guys, they blew my mind. You still do a lot of that data. Any, uh, I did a couple of secret life of pets. Uh, first one was, was huge. Second one didn't do so good, but I have a ride at universal. I play, I, they basically asked me to do the grumpy old man as a dog. Hey, no,

like the way things are. So I was a basset hound and I had wheels for hind legs. He was sort of crippled, but I just randomly, this is a complete non sequitur. Two of my favorite performances of movie stars. And they're very operatic. They're theatrical. What one is Robert Shaw as Quentin jaws. The book, the book end is Al Pacino as Scarface. Yes. Those are both operatic operatic.

Rhythmic things that just really have always stuck with me. And both movies, by the way, too. Now your boys, you have two boys. Two boys, yes. And how old are they now? 29 and 31.

And are any of them in the biz? One is, it has a production company and he's doing stuff. I've done stuff with both of them, a scripted podcast called The Weird Place. So they've been trundling along. They've done some standup. I think my youngest is really, it sounds, he wants to be a farmer, which I love. I mean, really cross pollinating and growing. Where is he? He's up here at the farm.

Yeah. He's at Farm Aid. He's at the farm. You're into location. We are exactly...

Alec knows LA and he misses it he has to come out could I just on this I just want on this subject because I love movies so much but I just want to say a movie of yours that there's two here that are on our dial for my wife and I the edge anytime relatives come oh we're going to watch a movie and if they haven't seen the edge because you and Anthony my favorite movie to shoot

Because when I was on vacation with my ex-wife, I'd flown to LA and done a read-through with Mamet. And Mamet wrote the script. It was called Bookworm originally. It was much more Baroque before they changed it. And David wrote the screenplay. And we go do a reading. And De Niro was going to play the lead. Oh, okay.

And the character is named Charles Morris, and he's the scion of a very wealthy English family, whatever, very rich guy. And I think that De Niro realized that he was more Stavros Niarchos than he was Charles Morris. So he was not off the Mayflower type. So he bowed out. And I'm on vacation with my ex-wife, and the phone rings, and they said they got Tony Hopkins to play with me. And I burst out sobbing. I thought, my greatest dream to work with Tony. So we go off to the Canadian Rockies, and we shoot it up in Banff.

And I have so many memories. Harold Perrin was in Lost. He played. There were two great lines. None of them by me. So Harold Perrin gets to rehearsal and he sits at the table. We're going to rehearse in this hotel ballroom thing they had. Conference room. And Harold Perrin goes, Anthony Hopkins, Alec Baldwin and me. I wonder which one the bear is going to eat first. And

And he was fun. And then Tony and I, because he's from the same town as Burton. And of course, he's a great Welsh. Richard Burton with that Welshman. He's great with the Welsh. He has a great Welshman raised and trained by the foot of Olivier at the National. He could do his. So we would do dueling Burton's.

We would do dueling impersonations of Richard Burton. And Tony won. The crew applauded him at the lunch table. We would go back and forth sometimes. And finally, he got it down to a haiku. And he looked at me. He did. He looked at me and he goes, I can't do it. Elizabeth would be it.

He did. He literally, he goes, he goes, Elizabeth, baubles and stones. He goes, Elizabeth, baubles and stones, white wine, my beer. That's where it's mine. And then he plants his face in his foot. He passes out into his lunch tray.

And everybody went, that's it. It's over. He's the winner. He's the victor. I had the same thing with him. I did a movie that was not well-received, Road to Wellville. What'd you do? Road to Wellville with Anthony Hopkins. I love Road to Wellville. It was unique. I love Road to Wellville. Interesting. I love that. I was the ne'er-do-well son, but I got to hang out with him and do...

stuff with him and loved him. Love him now. Parker, Parker, right? Yeah. Yeah. Alan Parker. Alan. I love road. Yeah. I love it. You know what? I was used to embarrass myself. Whenever you love a movie that the star considers a misfire,

And I always say that whenever I see Hanks, I say, I love Joe versus the Volcano. And was it fine? And he's like, oh, OK. Like he doesn't really know what to do with that. But what was the other movie you were going to mention? The Edge and what? Well, The Edge and then another one that just...

It's complicated. I thought you were just so funny in that. I mean, you really went... I mean, it was hysterical. Well, I always thought when Nancy Meyers asked me to do that, she said to me...

She said, do you care that Meryl is nine years older than you when you prepare to play her love interest in a film? And she goes, because the men do it all the time. The men have leading ladies that are far younger than them, and they seem to get away with it. And she's going on and on and on about it. And I go, I said, Nancy, I said, my character doesn't want to bang his ex-wife.

I said, my character is still in love with his ex. So that's a huge difference. And I said, and so to fall in love with Meryl is probably the easiest thing I'm ever going to do. I mean, like I'm going to steal your money.

Like, you know, on the set, Mero really was, like, among the most amazing people I've ever met. She's sexy. Now, both of you named someone before we run out of time here. Before we run out of time here. We're out of time. We go as long as we want. No, go on. What's your question? Name somebody you both worked with that really was just a joy for you. In any venue. Movies, TV. Oh, that was a joy? Did you love George Segal?

I did love George. I love him. I love him. It can't help, but he had everyone on his finger. You know, he's so good. Yeah. And he used to make so much fun of me because when, if I would miss a line or something, he'd look at the audience and go,

You know, I used to do movies with Elizabeth Taylor. Now I work with this fuck up. Exactly. So funny. That's like, that's like Mickey Rooney. Uh, Mickey was, it was eccentric and stuff. I would say just where I was in my life being cast as the third lead with Burt Lancaster and Kirk Douglas's last movie, not a great movie, but to hang out with them.

Which movie? It's called Tough Guys. I know. Did you ever hear my story about that movie? No. You have stories about Tough Guys?

Spade, what do you mean? A dog biscuit or a Girl Scout cookie? You're telling a story. He's got it, but he's up with glycemic. So he's got he's got to eat it. I'm walking out out like no way. Like Sherry said in the podcast. Yeah, it was your turn to pick your turn to pay and fear. And wait, and the waitress is your friend is passed out in the bathroom. Yes.

Sherry was one of our favorites. Yeah. Go ahead. The famous story that the guy brings the stack, the PA brings a stack of glossies, knocks on the door.

uh hands the stack glossies to burt lancaster hands him a pen burke landcastle signs across he goes that doesn't look very good but you have another pen you have a shoppie and the guy calls it yes yes so he signs bert lancaster and he signs all the glasses and so the guy takes the pen the regular pen trots over to uh uh um

Kirk Douglas' trailer, hands him the glossies. He signs to Kirk Douglas and he sees how scrawny it is next to Bert's name. And he goes, do you have the other pen? Can you go get the other pen for me? And he goes running back to Bert Lancaster's trailer, knocks on the door and Bert Lancaster comes out. Bert Lancaster comes to the door with a sharpie and says, I suppose you're looking for this. He knew. Yeah, they had a competition. They knew each other. They knew each other. I saw him when they did the concert version because here for years they've had great success at City Center.

with uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh uh ah the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the the

the season. So they decided to try to do that in L.A. And it was called Reprise. And they did this beautiful, wonderful musical rendition of All About Eve. And Stockard Channing played the Margot Channing role. The Betty Diggs role. Calista Flockhart played Eve. What's his name? Why am I blanking out? Allie McEve.

All right. I wouldn't know what's his name. Tim, Tim, Rocky Hart, Tim Robertson, Tim Curry, Tim Curry, Tim Curry played the George Sanders role. I mean, the cast was fucking unbelievable. But the opening of it was this big, gigantic, tufted,

I want to say sheds or a bed and the curtains part. And the thing is moving toward the audience. And it's Kirk Douglas is the narrator. Wow. Sitting on this bed. And what a way to open a fucking show. And he'd already had a stroke. He'd had a stroke. So his voice was not that bad, but he was impaired, but you didn't care. You're just sitting there going, Oh my God, the opening of the show is fucking Kirk Douglas, who I worship, worship. I worship. He was one of the few,

movie stars who was also a great actor. Those guys had their own production companies. They do their sort of art film and then they do the, the, the studio film. I mean, they were really for, and just sitting, listening to them and the way they teased each other. It was very, uh,

It was just, it was, I, that was me out of body. Like I'm in a movie with Kirk Douglas and Berlin. It doesn't make sense. This was a year before I got SNL. You know, my other favorite Kirk Douglas story is he apparently he's on the set of like the, whatever the movie was him and Wayne.

with John Ford. The War Wagon. Something, I'll look it up. The War Wagon. They're on the set of a movie and Kirk Douglas walks up to John Wayne and he says, The War Wagon. I think it's The War Wagon. It wasn't at The War Wagon they started or was that William Holden? Sorry, I know it was Kirk Douglas. I thought. You can look it up. Look it up. The War Wagon. John Wayne. Alex still trying to figure out how to spell Nicholson. Yes.

He's Googling again, everyone. Hey, he's going to log roll you. He's going to log roll you. While Alec does this, I'll say, Dana, he's the only one of two people with a standing invitation every year to host SNL. Not anymore. Why not? Not anymore. Once I did the...

It's War Wagon. You little bitch. You little bitch. You little bitch. I'll call you a bitch. We watched a lot of movies in our house, Alec. Fuck. Lots of movies. You stunk. I'll call you a bitch. I like War Wagons. There's nothing like a wagon for war. You remember what the plot was? You could put stuff in it and it was impenetrable.

No one could. Who directed it? Who directed it in harm's way? Preminger? Preminger, yes. I saw that recently. Jesus, we're going back. I'm too young for this convo. Could I just insert while you keep looking here? Because this is just to embarrass Alec. Alec was in Beetlejuice. He's incredibly philanthropic based on what I read in terms of really being incredibly generous with his money. So anyway, that's just something that's nice to say. Yeah.

Well, you know, I would do shows. I did jobs, which the whole purpose of doing them were as reservoirs of money for my foundation. Like when I did Match Game, did I want to host a game show? No. I went in there and did the show. We did three seasons and they paid me a lot of money. They paid me so much fucking money. It was amazing. I love hearing that. Put the money in the foundation. I did five years of Capital One. Yes.

They pay me a lot of money over five years, a ton of money gave all that away. Did the Amazon, I would always look for gigs like Amazon Alexa. They pay everything where they pay me at these gigs. And that goes into the foundation. What is the foundation's purpose? What's it named? Mostly arts related. I mean, we have some environmental, some alma mater. My wife and I both went to NYU, but predominantly it's arts to Hampton film festival, New York, Philharmonic, Philharmonic NYU Tisch, where I went to school. But the point is, is that, uh,

But I'm assuming either one of you guys, you know, when you have a good time, it doesn't fucking matter. You can be ringing the bell with a bunch of guys and playing Santa Claus for the Salvation Army on the corner. If you're having fun, you're having fun. And I went to go do a match game. And some guy writes on the internet, he writes the final nail. Oh, like it was a money. Yeah. The final nail in Alec Baldwin's career coffin. They're right.

And I went to do Match Game. Jen Mullen, who runs Fremantle, they were the producers, and Scott, the other producer, all of them. I went to do Match Game. I had more fun doing Match Game than you could possibly fucking imagine. We had a ball. We had a ball. And it was like SNL. I mean, SNL is a different animal because it's much more. When I first did SNL, I'll never forget, like, you're kind of high. You're kind of blurry.

And then finally, Donna, the dresser, grabs me and she throws me in the booth and she says, we got to get you dressed for good nights. And I go, what? She goes, it's over. And I go, it's over? It went by like it was 20 minutes. Oh, yeah. It was such a blur. It is so insane. And then so but other than the intensity of that.

match game. I had so much fun. We have people kind of Horatio was my I always say the edge of the day. So three on top, three on the bottom. And the two closest to me, they're my wingman. Caroline Ray Horatio. I mean, I have people that were my wing. I mean, I could always throw to play off of. Yeah, exactly. They'd always come up with something light and fun and keep the ball in the air. And I and then there were people on the show who were like,

And we just made fun of them. They'd give us an answer and I'd be like,

I don't want to name names, but you can just watch the show. They're going to be like on the air. I go, you've got to be fucking kidding me. That's your answer. Are you fucking kidding me? We were, we were just smack them. We can't, are we living in the age where you can do anything? Like I turned down a lot of commercials in the nineties because it was, you know, uh, wasn't considered, you're not supposed to do commercials. I mean, Jay Leno did Doritos other than that, but it seems like everyone does commercials. Everyone does game shows. Yeah.

We're in the age of everyone does everything. And also people talk about money a lot more and their brand and protecting their brand. When I started in this business, you didn't sell alcohol. No. You didn't sell alcohol.

I don't care if you live in a castle in the northern part of Italy. You didn't sell alcohol. No alcohol sales, no tobacco sales. Remember, they used to fly. Movie stars would fly. They paid you a million dollars for one day to fly to sell Suntory whiskey in Japan. You never sold it in the United States. No alcohol, no tobacco, and all that kind of stuff. And now...

I mean, I did Capital One a long time when we were doing 30 Rock. And when you're on TV, they want you to be on TV more, you know? When you're on TV, you get invited to do a big talk show. But when you're not on TV, you don't. So I got invited to do the Capital One thing when I was on 30 Rock. And, uh...

I'm not saying I'm a pioneer. I'm not saying I'm like, you know, fucking Magellan here of commercials for actors. But now that the dam is broken, everybody does. Well, and they get their own brand. They make their own tequila. It's huge. Hundreds of millions of dollars. You know, these actors becoming entrepreneurs in sort of multi hundred million dollar generational billion. Then there's people who like, if you're not careful, you can't remember what it is they're selling because they're selling like Ryan Reynolds. You're like, you're doing T-cell.

party balloons or does he sell does he sell does he sell phone or phone phone or brand muffins or what does he sell i forget he's an entrepreneur he's just an entrepreneur he just does he just does everything but the problem is we're just we're just jealous yeah well did you i'm just curious for a second you being philanthropic at that level um

I don't know how much money you had at the time, but it seems, is this something from your childhood or being raised Catholic? Or is it a familial thing? Or where do you think this comes from? I've never, the numbers I've seen are just extremely generous, extremely philanthropic. Well, I mean, philanthropy becomes something you're addicted to and you can make a big mistake. I went to a philanthropy conference that Credit Suisse held, because Credit Suisse was a huge underwriter of the full harmonics they invited me.

And I went to this thing at a hotel here in New York and it was in an evening. I sat with all these guys and the guy said, remember, philanthropy isn't about you giving me a million dollars this year. Philanthropy is about me being able to make plans. You're going to give me $50,000 for the next 20 years. Right. I need to be, I need a reliable reservoir, reliable pipeline of money to make, I got to be able to make plans. So,

Don't give me a big check once. Give me a nice check for 20 years. And that's the mistake I made. We gave million dollar checks and I kind of got drunk on philanthropy. You know what I mean? It's a great, you kind of get high. Yeah. Yeah. Let me say something, fellas. My kids are going to come charging through the store any minute now. No, Alec, I got to go. Do you have any final statement? Anything further? What does Alec want to say? I have to get home to my IV. I want to say, I want to say, Dana,

I owe you for my Trump. I totally stole your Nagada. I stole that school of impersonation. No, no, no. Make your own thing. Your Tony Bennett is one of the best pure impressions. The only one that worked great was when he came on. Wasn't that fun when he came on? I watched it today. Oh, when he came on. We cried. He's such a likable character and you guys were great. He's there. He's it. That's a brilliant impression. Yeah.

And my last thing to spade is thank you for not log rolling me and I'll call you a bitch. Okay. No, I had a blast. I love talking. I like, this was one of the easiest podcasts I've ever done. I just love listening to your stories. Great. Really, really. Thank you so much, bud. Stay safe. Stay safe.

This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts. No joke, folks. Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.