Al Franken
01:24:19 Share

Yes, I have actually stayed at Airbnbs from time to time. And truth be told, I do really like them. I'm being totally honest right now that I've had great experiences with them. Yeah. I mean, you can have your look at you go get your own place, get your own pool, your own living room. You're not going to walk in an elevator. You're not going to see people when you're walking around in your undergarments. Yeah.

Yes. And if you don't understand what we're talking about, you should go online. What we're saying is you have a house with a kitchen and a bathroom and it's just for you, tailored for you. You liked your Airbnb over a hotel. Yes. And I do think I've had relatives stay nearby and sometimes it's very nice for them to do an Airbnb and have a little house and they're not underfoot. The last thing you want is your house guest to say, excuse me, um,

Where would I find a towel? That's a toughie when it's because they're naked. Well, it's like the 1800 time you say on the towel rack. Yeah. Thank you. I was going to look there. People don't even think hotels sometimes just go, hey, I'll go there. I'll get an Airbnb. So you won't regret it.

David, so Al Franken, remember when we interviewed, I'm doing Chris Farley, remember when we interviewed Al Franken? Hey Al, remember when you were on SNL? Yes, Chris. So Al Franken, you're going to like this one. If you like Jim Downey, you're going to love Al Franken. He was a mainstay writer, producer, and performer on SNL for decades. Yeah.

Stuart Smalley, he did. He was in a lot of sketches as well as writing for years and years. And we go into, we do a deep dive into the whole political stuff we wrote in terms of George Bush Senior especially and Ross Perot. So there's a lot of process in this one. I love that word. A lot of process of how you do SNL. Hey, I'm not going to be upstage. What the fuck? We forgot. Oh, wait a minute.

Who cares about Al Franken? We gotta get our looks. We don't look the same anymore. Thank God.

We've done too many episodes. We're getting punchy. We've done like 50 of these, 60. Anyway, Al Franken, yeah, he's a good friend. He's an ex-senator. He always was very politically astute and very into politics. No surprise he became a senator. Now he's out back on the road doing stand-up, and we have a nice chat with our friend Al Franken. I knew nothing about politics, and I'd go, what is that? Who's that? That's someone who's a senator? And he goes, why don't?

even know this yeah you said who are the dummy crats i didn't know anything when i got there i still don't you know it's better to stay out of politics at this point just everyone's so angry and sad even our president i just pay up on the mega republicans we've got more mega and the mega republicans take over countries in such a time everyone goes like this huh okay al franken here we go it's a good listen roll it

You blame Doc. You sign on Al. No, Al is on the phone to Putin or something. Yes, I really... Is that Putin? Putin, but I wouldn't do it if I were you. I just think we can come and say, oh, I got to do a podcast. Okay, fly on the walls. I got it. Fly on the wall. Putin called Al to say, how do I get SNL not to make fun of me? We were going to call our podcast The Al Franken Show. But I said, but why? He's only going to be on once. And they said, okay, but... Me, Al Franken.

Ladies and gentlemen, you're listening to Fly On The Wall with our very special guest, SNL legend and Senator Al Franken. Thanks for inviting me. Of course. Al, there's so many things in your career that we're looking at to talk about. Your new nickname is the Touchstone. I did Saturday Night Live, you know. I do know that is a big chunk of it.

Yeah. We want to go with a deep dive. Our other name for the podcast is The Hot Seat. So welcome, Senator. We really grill them. I've heard you grill. We love our room. We're the worst two hosts I think we've been voted, but that's okay. That's okay. We're terrible, but we know it, which is kind of helpful. That's the charm. Yeah. That's the charm of you guys. That's what people love about you.

Yeah, I didn't go to interview school. Right. They say you have no qualification. We're like, well, you don't need them. It's a podcast. You don't need anything. You have a chemistry between you. Yeah. Is that a little Ed Wynn? It's an obvious friendship and affection for each other. For each other. And very funny. Thank you. Each of you and both together.

I don't know what I'm doing. No, it's not Stuart Smalley, but it's some other kind of character that's sort of sweet. I'm on the Upper West Side of New York right now. I think I'm just channeling left person I ran into. Sweetness. There's something about you. Dana, Al is very smart. He went to Harvard. He also got an 800 on the math section of the SAT. I don't think that's out of a thousand. Al did not get an 800 on his math. You know, my

My mom said that on a I once did a radio interview in Minneapolis and my mom, her apartment had burned down. And so she had to come with me. I was promoting a book. And so we're doing a radio interview. And I said, OK, mom, you're not being interviewed. We're like in the green room.

Then I had to go to the bathroom and then I come back and I go, where's my mom? And she's being interviewed and she's going, Alan got an 800 on a system. Within 20 seconds, you pulled that out? Within 20 seconds. Yeah. Wow. But okay. So seriously, so you're a math whiz or a brainiac? I mean, what is that about?

No, I was just good at math and up to a point. I mean, I was just – I peaked at, you know, Algebra 2. I mean, I was not – I took calculus freshman year, and I went, what – I have no idea what this is useful for, or I don't like it. And then I became a comedian. I have to say, I was good at math, Al, and when I went –

one of those didn't click with me. And I think people that are good at all math is very interesting because it was like algebra, geometry, and then one of them I stopped at and said, I don't get it at all.

And then they go, wait, then you're dumb. And I go, well, that doesn't. Anyway, I was in the Minnesota comedy sketch scene back. Was that a big scene back? It says that's where you start. Where you got that thing. There was a thing called Dudley Riggs Brave New World, which was like a third city. It was like, in fact, Del Close taught Tom was in Tom was in their troupe.

Tom was in. OK, and I'll give you an example of, you know, Tom Davis and I met in high school and we started performing together at this theater. And we went to like an open that there weren't mics. It was a little theater. And we were able to get on and the owner liked us and we were able to do shows there.

And Tom, I went off to college and Tom became a member of the troop and got the training, the improv training. And anyone who's interested in comedy, I would do that because I'll give you one example where it really came in handy. Remember Julia Chow bleeding to death? Yep. Okay. So Tom and I wrote that and we're looking for an end.

And in improv, you're taught to look for objects because you're out there on the stage with nothing and you're improvising. And one of the techniques is to find objects. And at the end, we were looking for a blow for the scene. And Tom said the phone.

you know, there's there's the kitchen phone. And so, you know, Danny, as Julia Child is going like, oh, the phone and the emergency call 911 and and Danny picks it up and starts to dial. He goes, it's a prop phone and throws it down and dies, essentially. And that was like, you know, it was really it.

You know, Tom and I as a team, each kind of complimented each other in certain ways. That was one of the ways he did. So people are listening to your to this broadcast. Podcasts are really interested in comedy. And and young people ask me all the time, should I do improv class? And I go, yeah, yeah, yeah.

And we always say, get in a kind of biker bar and try to do five minutes. That's the path. Stand-up is a lot rougher. Black biker bar. Whoops. You know, Al, that was one of the best sketches ever. That was one of the top, top.

most memorable sketches just well that was one that peaked on air you know how you know how you had something and you were just going like oh please peak on air please and we that was one of the you guys will attest to this if something worked in dress it was in air right and that worked in dress and it was walter math that was the host but we didn't have the blood quite right

And we held it because we didn't have the blood quite right. It's still kind of killed. But and here's the thing is that that it was an insecticide sprayer underneath the counter and the special effects guy was running it. And because Tom and I had written it and we went to the special effects guy and said, Can Tom

run the right. It's like part of the job. You got to get it right. And and the guy, you know, it's a union job because now but but they love love Tom. And so Tom did it. So Tom and Danny time those spurts. And and that's, you know, and then, you know, is one of those things where you're going like, oh, please get it all on on on air. And it does. And you go, yeah, yeah. Whoa.

Wow. So you actually platformed it and then said, let's wait until we get the blood spurt thing. Yeah. And that was really rare, right? Yeah. Oh, yeah. I would work no matter what. But, you know, but that just adds to it so much to make those things work. Perfect. So much part of the joke. And then it goes boom, boom, boom, boom. And that's he's saying something funny. The blood comes out perfectly and it just builds, builds, builds. Yeah. And you know what that feels like.

when it just works on all cylinders. You know what it feels like when it peaks at dress, too. That's a sick name, too. And there were years where we did not tape dress. Oh, really? So you didn't have a fail-safe then? Well, yeah. For the repeats, sometimes. And now they do, of course. And so...

Al, when we were there, let's say 91 to 96, I think we did tape just, I never really saw them. They didn't really do anything with them, but maybe they did tape them. I don't remember. No, I think certainly in the repeats, I don't think they changed it for the West Coast unless something happened.

I think they do that now, though. They say they'll see it in the West Coast, a better one. Like, wow. Yeah. What a luxury. I know. I know. Al, can I just for a second, something about you and Tom, because it's always interesting, Origin meetings and how you guys were partners before.

in crime for so long. Like, do you remember like it was eighth grade PE or did you connect with them right away? Or do you have any kind of McCartney Lennon esque thing? It was obviously connected 10th grade. And I changed schools. I, uh, went to the public school system until 10th grade. And then my, I don't need to go why I went to this all boys private school, but, um,

it ruined my life but anyway let's just say it's shoplifting yeah and so and then we we would have chapel in the morning it was like this school uh founded at the turn of the 20th century for a school for protestant boys and they started letting jews in in the 50s to get the sat scores up

And so let that just lay there for a second. Well, yes, that's actually truer than it can possibly match. But sure. So I get there and Tom makes an announcement. So the reason I said that about the religion was that we had chapel in the morning and they had a big pipe organ. You sang, you know, these hymns.

and christian songs okay yeah yeah and and when i the first week i got there i just didn't sing them and my math teacher asked me to stay after uh after class and he said to me uh mr franken you want to go to a good college right and i said yeah he said well uh and you're gonna need good math scores for that right i said yeah i'd sing the hymns

Jeez, blackmail. And then I sang hymns, and I loved singing hymns. You know, almighty fortresses are God. Oh, yeah. Did you ever sing Onward, Christian Soldiers?

That was kind of catchy. Onward, Christian soul. And I didn't mind. I didn't care. But anyway, so after the hymns and some, you know, faculty would there be announcements? And Tom was really funny. And he would organizations would send him up to do announcements. So like the first week of school,

I went up to him. I said, you're really funny. And then we started doing stuff together. We started doing announcements for the, you know, meeting of the chess club or something. And we did all kinds of, of just, we did Karnak. We did just, you know, all of that stuff. They let you do it, huh? And they let you kind of screw around. They loved us doing that. I mean, it was fun and we, it was where we really started in chapel and,

Could you, there's been people mentioning, you know, 75 to 80 and specifically Jim Belushi,

And I just want to get your take. John, sorry. Oh, Jim mentions it. Yeah. But John, sorry. Sorry, Jim. I apologize. John Belushi apparently was sort of an intimidating figure or he became one. But anyway, our friend Jim Downey talked to it. And I'd like to hear your take on, you know, season three and what was going on with John, you know?

Well, I heard Downey's interview with you and it was great. I'd recommend that to anyone. And he mentioned a time that I think he was referencing. Then this was my memory of it. One of the Charlie's Angels, Kate Jacks with Charlie.

Jacqueline fair or Kate Jackson. I think Kate Jackson was the host. And I only referenced that was, I remember that was it. And he was very bad off then in terms of drugs. And so he was terrible in dress. So Jim and I had written a sketch and,

And I said, we got to just go and talk to him. And Jim was intimidated at the time more. And I just knew Belushi from the get go. And I just knew that he could be intimidating, but he wasn't going to.

do anything. So I, we knock, not to you, not to the state wrestling champ, but go ahead. We'll talk about that later. Well, uh, I was hardly that, but so anyway, we go in and I go, John, uh,

You know, let's run lines on this sketch because, frankly, you were pretty bad and I didn't know. And he just goes like, get out of here. He makes a fist and and down, you know, and I'm going like, no, no, I'll tell you what, John, we'll just read them to you so that they'll sound familiar when they're coming out of your mouth. And

And that's what we did. We just read him the sketch over and over again. And he was marginally better. You know, this is kind of his worst point. And but I never saw him actually.

do anything other than, you know, physically to intimidate anyone or other than his bearing. And he he wasn't, you know, he wasn't great to the women in terms of that showing respect and the women writers and stuff. So, yeah, it

but God damn, he was funny. Yeah, brilliant comedian. I'm just sort of curious, like, what were the things he was taking and how did it affect his performance? Was he taking cocaine where he'd speed up or was he drinking so he'd slow down? I think it was mainly cocaine at that time. You know, it's funny, when I first ran for the Senate, one of the first interviews I had, I thought SNL was going to really help me. LAUGHTER

Oh, yeah. I thought this is great. This is a feather in my cap. Everyone. Oh, yeah. They did bring up a lot of your sketches, didn't they? Go ahead. Yeah. So my first interview is one of my first interviews. The reporter says, yeah, when you were at Saturday Night Live, did you ever do cocaine? And I say, hmm, what's that? Yes. Yes. But and then I say, but I only did a little cocaine.

so that I could stay awake late enough to make sure that Belushi didn't do too much. Good luck. Good one. And which was a joke. And most people recognize as a joke. But

The media, I've learned, has a vested interest in not getting jokes. So the guy kind of wrote it up as Al Franken conceded that he used cocaine while at Saturday Night Live. Breaking news. Said that he only did a little so that he could stay awake late enough to make sure that John Belushi didn't do too much. Belushi later died of a drug overdose. Yeah. Connect the dots. Yeah.

Yeah. And so anything I ever did. Oh, my God. I think of there is one line in a great sketch comedy killers. I don't. Were you guys around? I think I was. It sounds like. OK, comedy killers with the Jeopardy like game. But the premise was and Downey and I wrote this. And I'm sure and other people kicked in. You know, it's one of those things where people kicked in at the table.

So it was just the categories were like cancer, the Holocaust. Yeah. Kennedy's, you know, that kind of thing. And so there's one joke and Rosie Schuster wrote this joke. So this might have been earlier than why or maybe she was going to learn Michael's ex-wife. Yeah, it was. Yes. Yes. And the it was Jeopardy like so. This would have been a bad Hanukkah gift for Anne Frank.

And then what was a drum set? Yeah, that was. And so I later told that joke like I'm telling it now. And so that gets like Al Franken told jokes about the Holocaust. Yeah, this is coked out of his mind and he doesn't care about the Holocaust. Yeah.

Al Franken. You should have said he told pretty good jokes. Yeah. In one of his cocaine frenzies. Yes. The Holocaust joker Cokehead also said. I don't know about you. I don't know if I want this guy running the country. He feels cocaine and the Holocaust are a joke. What else does he feel? It reminds me of those political ads we used to do. Yeah, those are the best. Go ahead, Al. Yeah. So funny.

Robert Half Research indicates 9 out of 10 hiring managers are having difficulty hiring. If you have open roles, chances are you're feeling this too. That's why you need Robert Half. Our specialized recruiting professionals engage their skills with our award-winning AI to connect businesses of all sizes with highly skilled talent in finance and accounting, technology, marketing and creative, legal and administrative, and customer support. At Robert Half, we know talent.

Visit roberthaff.com today. I had a kind of a Gap Girls story, but it's really just about the Gap Girls set and Paul McCartney. I love it. I think I remember this. Okay, well, Paul McCartney, for your listeners...

The first thing that was rehearsed on Thursdays, we shot promos maybe first, but the second thing, maybe the first thing rehearsed was the music because the music set was the music set and was there. So you didn't have to bring a new set. So when Paul McCartney came to play, everybody at 30 Rock knew he was the guest and knew when the music rehearsal was. So 8H was filled with people for the rehearsal. And Lorne goes up.

and asked Paul, I'm right there, you know, and he's going up to Paul and he says, could you do Hey Jude? How would Warren say that? Could you possibly find your way to Hey Jude? It's just like a really, really, really big hit.

Yeah, I think find your way to hate Jude would be. Yeah, that's exactly right. Yeah. So Paul goes like, well, we're not really playing at this tour, so we don't I don't know if we really know it. And I go, hey, Jude. And he goes, no, no, no, no. And because the lyrics are so like this, you know, the data data data. But I think Paul was actually

I think they were doing that tour. So he goes to the band and he comes back and says, yeah. So they play Hey Jude in the studio full of people there. And everybody is so blown away and moved. And I'm like crying because

because this was you know i was like 16 when hey jude came out and it was that it just meant so much and that and i'm literally where's my life gone i remember being sitting in the car not you know if hey jude was on i just like arrived at my place i waited to the end of hey jude

And I'm just so moved. Okay. They're doing a gap girls. Okay. Now gap girls is going to enter the story. Okay, great. Yeah. So, uh,

We're now we're on Saturday and during meal break, they they have the music rehearsal. So I go, of course, because I can play a Jew and I go on the floor and I notice while they're playing. Hey, Jude, that the gap there's a guard on the gap girl sketch guarding the clothes. Yeah, because they're so the clothes on the gap. The girls get girls get so, I guess, valuable enough to have a guard there.

So but I see that the guard is so transfixed with hey Jude that and I need some jeans and you need some jeans. OK, I got it. And I need some jeans. So I watched during dress. He's still during air. I took two pair of 36, 36, 36.

3630? Yeah, that's what I was at the time, 3630s. I'm short. Well, you have gigantic legs. Remember the night you and Farley would sometimes, in a fun way, wrestle? At least one night, I remember you guys. It was like Godzilla versus King Kong. Yeah. And I didn't really know that I was a wrestler, but your build is very powerful, and Farley was...

And it was like Goliaths colliding. Who actually won that wrestling match in the middle of the night on 17th floor? Well, I think it was just kind of a man affection thing. Yeah, you guys were laughing when you did it. Obviously, everyone was turned on. All the writers also. Yeah.

Especially the women. Yeah. You know, actually Dana, back to that, the gap set, they donated a corner, you know, like I want the set all from the gap and it was all real. So they sent their own security saying, we, we have to make sure this comes back in one piece. Oh, okay. And that's what happened. So I remember cause they told me they go, they got, don't worry all the gap stuff, all the cable crews, everything's going to be still there on Saturday. No, one's going to be able to pinch. Yeah.

And then, uh, I did. I, yeah, I think maybe you had told me that. I think it's a great story. I actually went to the prop master and said, I took two jeans just, and he says, have you guys just throughout any kind of career, uh, uh,

on a TV show or whatever, and then there's wardrobe left over, and there's something that you really like, and then you sort of ask casually, could I kind of keep this jacket? And it's really fun when they say yes, even though it might only be a $20 jacket. Something about free stuff on a set or a TV show. Well...

I never acted in a movie like you guys have. Stuart Smalley. Well, I did, but why would I keep Stuart Smalley's clothes? Yeah, okay. Trading places. I got his sweater was what I was going to say. I was Stone Porter number one and Tom was Stone Porter number two. Did you write Trading Places for me? No, no, no. We were just giving this little part and it was Stone Porter number one.

Porter number one, Porter number two. And we smoke a joint and they took that away because because Eddie smokes a joint and remember in the bathroom, though we are playing stone, but we were no one had seen us in the movie Smoke a Joint. So we're kind of.

dim-witted or did you actually do like a stoner dude voice did you do like a character yeah we're kind of like uh yeah like that um okay we thought that was motivated by them having seen us smoke pot but it was fine it was fine so al you kind of have a reputation like you do risky stuff and i just want to start with this one

Okay, and I don't know if this is true, but it's 1980, Lorne's going to leave, and you were potentially one of the heir apparent to then take over SNL and be the executive producer? Is that possibly true, but you wrote a sketch about Fred Silverman, the then head of NBC, or he was in it? Yeah, that was stupid. Is that folk? Ha ha ha ha!

Is that true? In hindsight. That was not biting the hand that feeds. Did that, I mean, what was that sketch? Yeah, I mean, look, my life has unfolded the way it's unfolded, so. Okay. But that was stupid. Yeah, I didn't think that necessarily that that was going to happen anyway. And I was kind of up for leaving myself also. So I just did limo for the lame-o. And it was just about how...

You know, like I didn't get a limo. I see even Garrett gets a limo and something like that. And but I don't get one. And but Fred Silverman gets a limo. And then I we were NBC was tanking at the time. And I was

couple of like one of the executives attached to the show begged me to do it and and we had the ethic that if it's funny we do it right right that was kind of it and uh so did it come back to hurt you in any way then you're gonna leave the show in the sense that fred silverman has hated me is

Yeah. Ever since. And that he was the head of the network, but no, but now what about when you, I just watched this whole update bit you did about, you came back and I guess it was gene domainian had come and gone within six months. They did a whole update piece was Chevy, the host. Is that why he was there? Oh, he must've been. I think it was like an interim thing. Um,

Where who came back with Ebersole, I think. Yeah, you were sort of making fun of him. And I was kind of making. Yeah, I was ballsy bit. Yeah, I was saying kill the show or something like that. But then a writer's strike happened right after that. And.

But you always did edgy stuff. Didn't you? This is jumping ahead for a second, but just to your not censoring yourself. Didn't you suggest that George Steinbrenner, the billionaire owner of the New York Yankees, who was the host, that somehow he would be in all fours with a dog collar?

And there. No, no, I had him play. I wrote a sketch where he's playing Petey, who is kind of like wears a beanie and shorts. Yeah. And it's just and everyone just

say like Petey you're so stupid Petey and he would just it was all clearly just a pretext to say or you know yeah say stuff to George Steinbrenner like that and he wouldn't do Petey he wouldn't is that the one where Odenkirk and Conan were supposed to go try to keep talking him into doing a sketch or something

Now, this was I don't think so. I did PD and I just thought it'd be very funny.

He had like a beanie with like a twirling thing on the top. Yeah. And he was just wealthy. I think we made him get on all fours in the sketch. I said, I remember going, well, him in the ass. That's right. I think that's it. Yeah. You got him on all fours, kicked him in the ass. And were you shocked when he turned down the sketch? Well, yeah. I mean, he was kind of weird. I don't know if he was the kind of guy. Decent job. We wrote a sketch for, uh,

him and Nealon and Jan and Victoria, where it was just George is Nealon's boss and the two couples are going out to dinner and Nealon offers to pick up the check. And George says, no, come on, I'm your boss. No, no, no. You always picked it up. I'm going to pick it up. And no, I'm your boss. I'm taking the check.

And I know I'm taking the check. And then he takes it and goes, well, I was pretty easy. Yeah.

And then he goes, okay, I'm taking it. I'm taking it. And then it just escalates. Yeah, yeah. He was good on the show. And Jan kind of goes, ah! You know, he was one of those. And Steinbrenner was very good in it. I just remember him going around 8-H asking people where they went to college and like, you know, Penn State, oh, good school. You know, Cambridge, oh, nice school. And then he came to me and goes, where'd you go to college? I said, San Francisco State. His face went blank and he just turned and walked away from me.

Really? Well, San Francisco State, I guess it wasn't a sexy college. God, that makes me think George Steinbrenner is a dick. Or a guy who just loves higher education. You know, I mean, it was just a funny school that I went to. San Francisco State is a fine school. There are stories that you always feel like everyone's heard, but I don't really know the George Harrison legendary visit story.

I'll give you a choice. Either that or talk about the character, the brain tumor comedian. Okay. I'll do Harrison real quick. We're both, yeah. So this was an epic thing. I missed it, but he comes to SNL in what year, like 90-whatever?

I am probably not 90. I would have been there at ninety five, nine, eighty eight, something like that. Conan is there. And I was discussing Conan. And basically, George Harrison shows up at on the 17th floor. He and Lauren are going out to dinner. OK, George Harrison's here. George Harrison, they're going out to dinner. You come they come back.

few hours later and he is just drunk and so now it's like 10 30 11 i love it and as you know this is tuesday night this is tuesday night and that's right night show gets written and this year i was one of the producers or and uh he starts to play the piano

Fun. A gift. In the read-through room. And everyone just is like gathered round and George Harrison's playing the piano. A Beatle's playing the piano. And it's going on and on and on. And I'm going like, the show is not going to get written. And so I just go to Phil Hartman.

I say, Phil, watch this. And you remember my desk, my office is right next. Right, right, right. Yeah. So I go in my office and I just slam my door as hard as I can. I didn't see him because I'm inside. But he evidently George like jumped like three feet off the piano bench, came down and then left. And everybody was just furious at me. And I just said, we got it right.

We got to write this show. And of course, Rue McClanahan was the host. No, she sat down at the piano and wouldn't stop that piano. That's that story. And the brain tumor comedian was it's Tom is so funny in this piece. It's you know, we would do the Franklin Davis show, which was a show within the show. And this one is I have a brain tumor and I have this this bandage with a big lump

discolored lump on it. And Al's always wanted to do a single and he's this is, you know, he's got a brain tumor. So, you know,

You're going to really enjoy this, folks. This is Tom. And then I start, you know, you know, you hear about the rabbi. Then give, you know, didn't charge for giving circumcisions. He only took tips. Woof. And then the next next joke I tell, I start to space out. And every joke I always the punch is always he only took tips.

And then Tom behind me would like encourage the audience to laugh. And it was really funny. And Tom was really funny. And of course, we got a few letters. Have you ever watched your wife die of a brain tumor? Have you ever thought of a sketch out where you thought of it and said, no, no, too much?

Too far. Yes, of course. But I can't remember. OK. Yeah, I can't remember. It was few and far between. But let's talk about some stuff we did together. Yeah. Yeah. And Downey, I think I've told you this. Downey had this credo for the for the political material we wrote, which was Downey. It was a moderate Republican, a very thoughtful, you know,

conservative in the best sense, Republican. And I'm obviously a very progressive Democrat. And we felt that it wasn't the job of the show that to we just we felt the job was to do satirical political satire that was well observed, but not, you know, biased in one way or another. So and Downey had this motto, which was

we're going to reward people for knowing stuff but not punish them for not knowing stuff so the point was is that you could watch it and not be a political junkie at all not follow politics very closely and understand it but if you were someone who did there was another layer and that that's that's pretty sophisticated stuff but uh but downey and i were pretty uh

I'm very proud of the stuff I did with Jim and we did so much with you. And Jim didn't say this when we're talking about you doing the Bush cold openings, which we use as a crutch. I mean, I was basically we can always do Dana in one on home base and and down his right. Sometimes we wrote him on and and they were long. Here's the thing that I tell people a lot.

which is in dress. And I, we, those were well-written by and large and down. He kind of said, well, sometimes we threw you out there with nothing. I don't, you know, I don't remember that. Yeah. But what would happen is we would send you out there with something actually well, you know, well thought through, you would get so many laughs, uh,

At will, because you do the you just do your the hand over there doing that. Doing it would spread. Got that whole area. Will get laughs. So we had to tell you between dress and air a number of times, which I don't think anybody has ever told a performer. Don't get so many laughs because we because you're you're not following the through line. Mm hmm.

The audiences and they're losing the through line. And you knew exactly what we were talking about. You knew exactly how to dial it down. And you did every...

Fucking time, fucking time. And which was you knew exactly what you're doing. You had such control. And of course, you helped write those and added to them. And I also want to tell another story about you, which is and I think I've discussed this with you, but

in in I guess it was when when did Clinton run 92? Mm hmm. So Songus was running and Jerry Brown was running. Yes. Yeah. And we had a two week break, which was rare and a two week break. And you said to me, you know, on those

we were about to go on break. So can you work on song us for me? You know, just on the idea of song us and what to do with them. And so I started playing around with his voice and I nailed it. I got it really.

Great. And then I went to I gave a speech at the Kennedy School, you know, on political satire and I killed with song. So I come back and I'm really embarrassed. And I say to Dana, could I do song? And you just went, yep, I'll do Jerry Brown of Jerry Brown. And the thing about you is that you knew Jerry Brown. Yeah.

Part of it is that you went to a lousy San Francisco state and California. Jerry Brown was a great character, but your song was hysterical. Whatever your take was, I remember it killing. It was Snagglepuss with a Massachusetts accent. Yeah.

And he really had a voice that odd. I mean, it wasn't that big a leap. Yeah. Very extreme. I have a question now. When you and Dana were formulating...

uh bush it was it was right before i got there but i just watched a bush dukakis uh early on debate which i don't even know if it's a cold opening it's 14 minutes which is pretty long but it was great it was during the campaign hilarious yeah that was diane sawyer everyone with downy the line which was i can't believe i'm losing this guy yes and yes i wrote that line but the

The line only worked because of this long set. Right. Of Bush rambling. Yeah. Yeah. Well, and it was it was it was Diane Sawyer. Jan Hooks playing a very sultry. Yeah. So funny. Say hilarious. And basically ask him a question. And you kind of go, well, say the course. Thousand points of light. Mm hmm.

stay the course. And then she just went for the first time in this. She just went, you still have another minute. Forty five is your vice president. And he just saw. Well, stay the course. And then bring it down. She does that back and forth with you like three or four times. And finally, she goes, governor. And then I can't believe I'm losing this guy. So that was I wrote that line, but only because of that set up.

set up that line right i think i oh yeah yeah totally the line off the set and i john and the whole stuff and love it's nailed that one by the way that was he was great in that uh sketch love it was great as dukakis and i don't know if i've told you this out but he on election night when bush won love it's called me and essentially conceded

Well, you're going to be doing the president for four years. And he the fake Dukakis conceded to the fake Bush before the real Dukakis conceded to the real. But then I knew I was going to be in the hot seat and I didn't really have the impression at that point. You didn't quite have it. And we did sit down and you started developing that. Well, do you remember the exact moment? Because it was just you and me in a room trying to find it.

And I just said that doing that thing out there with the finger up, the lazy finger, like doing that thing in that whole area. And we both looked at each other and laughed. And that was that was the end. It's very interesting how one little hook and then it went to that. Well, I remember I you're one of the first guests on my podcast. And you said to me, because I laughed and you said laughter is the oxygen of comedy.

yeah yeah oh definitely if you have someone laughing and you're riffing then it is like the machine keeps going so you laugh exactly and i knew i like okay this is great and then uh we had jim downey uh coming in it's like i felt really blessed to have you and jim downey working on it but you seem to be the primary driver instigator of the subject matter and uh

Which we talked about, but it was interesting that when Bush was riding so high, it was 90% approval after his first two years in the Gulf War. It was because of the Gulf War, yeah. Yeah, all the sketches were about how he was impenetrable. And when I did it at D.C. for the Democratic fundraiser, everything was about, I'm going to get elected, and it was just this super happy comedian. He was literally at 89%. Yeah, insane. Well, try to beat me. And that's because he let us out of...

you know, Saddam invaded Kuwait and he put this coalition together, but the coalition coalition, everyone could do it now. Well, it's the guy you're just doing the guy who figured it out.

And not unlike what Biden is doing now, in a way. Come on. We got inflation. People can't get the baby formula. I love yelling Biden. I love his yell. It's so funny. Yeah. We got to find a way to do it.

you know one of my favorite hooks that we we started doing this kind of a couple years ago or something we started trying to work on biden and yeah you were doing it but one of the hooks i like it uh is uh and that's that's no hyperbole

He does that a lot. Yeah. My father lost his job. No joke. That was the first one. No joke. No joke. Not kidding around here. Come on. Yeah. Number one. Yeah. What the guy says. He's killed six million Jews. No joke. No joke. Well, I thought that was a joke. Okay. That was the first hook into him. Now, in fact, is a lot. And guess what?

You know, there's a lot, you know, it went up. I know how to create jobs. I know how to create them. I don't know how to be a job creator. He goes to the whisper and then he goes back to the yeller. But there's a lot there for sure. I'm a nibbler, Dana. And I think you are too. But you always know me that I just have to keep the energy going. And I think because I learned from my dad, pistachios are a good source of just, you know, nibble, wake you up.

They're always delicious. I actually named a character in a movie I did called Master of Disguise. The lead character's name is Pistachio. That's how much I love pistachios. Yeah. Well, wonderful pistachios have literally come out of their shells. It's the same taste. It's delicious, but...

It's a lot less work. As you know, cracking them open can be a little bit of a job. Less cracking, more snacking is what I say. That's what I say. That's what you say. And I'm going to use that when my wife goes to the store. Wonderful pistachios. No shells. Flavors come in a variety of award-winning flavors, including chili roasted. Honey roasted. Mm-hmm.

Salt, sea salt, vinegar, smoky barbecue. Sea salt and pepper is one I like the most. And I'm going to try this jalapeno lime. They don't have a red, red necky flavor just yet. Yeah. Look at him there. Red, red necky loves pistachios. I like to crack things open and put them in my mouth.

Come and eat some. Come and eat some. You could do that. Spice lovers go nuts. It's time to get spicy with Wonderful Pistachios' newest no-shells flavor, jalapeno lime with a wide range of flavors. There's a Wonderful Pistachios product for every taste bud and occasion. From enjoying with family and friends to taking them with you on the go, which is what I do. I always have them in the car. Savory, salty, smoky, spicy, or sweet Wonderful Pistachios.

No shells. Flavors are delicious. Snacks that consumers can feel good about. Yeah, next time you're shopping for snacks, you're craving something crunchy, something satisfying, ditch the bag of chips and grab Wonderful Pistachios, No Shells. Your body and taste buds will thank us because we told you about them. Visit WonderfulPistachios.com to learn more. You know Rosetta Stone, the most trusted language learning program.

If you want to learn a new language, which, you know, time like the present, it's always fun to learn when you get older. I know. And it's not learning a language when you're older, you know, over the age of 20 is difficult. You know, I mean, all the high school Spanish I took, grade school Spanish, you know, all I can say is hola.

And hasta luego. So it goes out of your head. So now you have Rosetta Stone, David, tell them about it. Well, Dana, you know, more than anyone trusted expert for 30 years with millions of users in 25 languages. Uh, I mean, my gosh, they have Spanish, French, Italian, German. I don't think you can throw them a curve ball. I think they're going to know what don't they have the language you want. Yeah.

It immerses you in many ways. There's no English translations. You know what I'm saying? I know no English. You need a Rosetta Stone for English. No English translation, so you really learn to speak and listen and think in that language. That's the whole idea of Rosetta Stone is that it sticks to your head. It sticks to your brain. I learned German out of a book. It just doesn't stick as hard, so this is the way to do it. Just zoom tight.

Designed for long-term retention.

There's a true accent feature. It gives you feedback on your pronunciation. Yes. And of course, there's desktop app options. There's an audio companion and ability to download lessons offline. Yeah, so that's great. Lifetime access to all 25 language courses Rosetta Stone offers for 50% off. A steal! And I do think that the off-label thing that... I'm ad-libbing now, going off script.

is that when you learn a language and you learn to pronunciate the words in that language, you start to learn about the people who live there and speak that language. Sort of a subtle, intuitive way of integrating with the culture. A little different, yeah. Don't put off learning that language. There's no better time than right now to get started. For a very limited time, Fly on the Wall listeners can get Rosetta Stone's lifetime membership for 50% off.

You just visit rosettastone.com slash fly. That's 50% off, unlimited access to 25 language courses for the rest of your life. Redeem your 50% off at rosettastone.com slash fly today.

And then we had Perot was dropped into our lap to just follow that sequence. Well, remember that I just saw Perot. And I got a tape. And we went in Lauren's office and showed you Perot. And you said, oh, there's a three-dimensional...

fully fledged. There he is. Yeah, it was like Sarah Palin and Ross Perot are sort of bookends of three-dimensional comedically already funny characters that just walked on the stage. Perot was like next level funny as a character. He was. And then we did a cold opening. You wrote the very first one and it was a very funny take. Do you remember? Yeah. It was basically him saying you don't have to pay me anything.

yeah yeah but if we gp uh gross domestic product goes up four percent i get a billion dollars yeah it was like he gets a taste yeah and then he called the next you know he called on monday at 9 00 a.m of course and we got in at 2 p.m and a receptionist the goddess

on with him and you and i were on and he was not interested in the writer at all he was yeah yeah of course of course but he would he at least he seemed to be a good he was a good sport about it i mean he he said you know here's an idea i think most yeah go ahead this is a great idea you go out and campaign as me and i campaigned as me so it'd be two of me campaigning all over the place

I mean, he just thought that was the precisely what he said. Yes. Yes. That's exactly what you don't have to write anything with it. I know. And no. And well, you played both Perot and Bush and Lucky Spade got full circle. Yeah. Got to be in the wide shot.

as as as fucking wide shot productions david had to get the hair the nose the ears the suit everything to look like pro i'm so stupid i didn't even know what was going on i thought am i doing perot i go i guess dana can't and do the magic of tv and bad luck he could and uh i do remember seeing pro on something and obviously i wasn't a political guy and

I was like, Al, what you were saying is if you're just a casual viewer, you get, you know, I understood the cold opening stuff. I didn't get the second layer of jokes, but I was just, I wasn't political. So I didn't even really wasn't about Republican Democrat. I was just going, is this funny or not? Whatever. And they were always great. And then when Perot was on something on the weekend, like a meet the press, I accidentally saw Perot.

I thought, oh, look at this little clown. This is hilarious. And he was like, someone gets to go do a stand-up act, you know, because he's already funny. And he was a little pipsqueak, and I go, oh, maybe I could. And that's how out of it I was. By the time I called Smigel and I said, hey, is there any way we got it covered? I'm like, hmm. I got it down. Probably even more fun than George Bush Sr., at least this phrase. You're not listening. Can I finish one time? Yeah.

Just that to me, that's like, you're not listening. Can I finish one time? Or are you getting it right? Can I finish? Can I finish? Can I finish one time? You're not listening. Can I finish one time? It's like James Brown or something. Can I finish one time? Hit me. Well, that's the thing is that you, you know, your impressions are musical in many ways. Yeah.

It's all chopped. It goes all back to chopping broccoli. Chopping broccoli. On the first show, once I had them. She chop. She chop. She chop. I know. I have no excuse for it except that I think I'm trying to make myself laugh and then it just makes me laugh. Someone going, can I finish one time? Are you going to rub me? Can I finish one time? But he did say something like that.

Well, it's all making yourself laugh. That's all it is. People ask me, what is your favorite? You know, what's your favorite moment from Saturday Night Live? Wow. 15 seasons you did. And I say that my favorite thing on Saturday night was three in the morning rolling on the floor laughing with the writers, with the cast members, just and part of it.

you know, Woody Allen once said that writing a comedy is either easy or it's impossible when it's easy and it's your frigging job is what you're supposed to do. Yeah. So, uh,

this stuff is making you laugh and, you know, and it could be Downey on a riff. It could be you coming up with, you know, you and Nealon doing Hans and Franz. It can be bye bye. It can be, you know, and you just are going like at that moment of creation that someone's doing something and you just it's so funny. But the added thing of

We just did our job really well. Sometimes that rewrite table, it could be four in the afternoon or four in the morning. And if someone cracks the code on something and everyone starts laughing and then everyone riffs on it, that's the funnest time.

Cause everyone's good at the table. So everyone's throwing in something good from right and left. And you go, wow, this is really jumped this sketch way ahead of where it was. David. I saw David tell the other day or a couple, a couple of months ago, actually at the comedy seller. And I just said he was at the table for a year or something. And, uh,

And he do you remember the Bobbitts? You know, she cut off his penis. Yeah. And I think and I was doing a Stuart with, I guess, Myers was the guy and Rosie O'Donnell was learning to Bobbitt. And I, I had a line that I didn't have the punch to. And I go, So how did it feel or has this feel now? And and a tells line was it itches.

And boy, it just, when someone does something like that, you know, it just, it's such a gift to have that table. And then sometimes the table is so deadly. I get three in the morning. Well, I just remember like a lot of food, like guys around the table and some women, of course, on 17th floor, uh,

And I'm thinking it is kind of like nothing's going on. Like it seems like the deadest space in the world. And there's Chinese food or pizza. Everyone's leaning back in their chair, tapping the pencil. Window is cracked one inch because everyone's dying in there. And you can't believe there's going to be a show. But you told me once out, you told me that I peaked at read through.

And that really helped me going forward. Sometimes you try to get it on so hard in your first year that you literally never get back to it. You've peaked at read-through, and you definitely don't want to peak at dress unless you're at war to get it on air. You want to leave a little something. So there's a lot of inside baseball about that. If you have an insider with Al, if Al's writing with you,

And you're a read-through. I think it's a little easier to pull back because he's going to be in the room saying he's going to bring it up. So you at least have a partner there. There were years that I was in the room. And I've been seeing here Downey kind of talk about the most fun he had at the show was when he just was writing.

And not producing. And there was a little... It was nice to be able to go in there and express your opinion on what gets picked for read-through and stuff like that. But also, yeah, there's something nice about just being a writer, too. And also, I was performing every once in a while. Well, as a cast member, you want to hook up with someone who has Lorne's ear and Lorne trusts, you know...

Sure. In the room after the read-through. That's always a nice thing to do for people who are just beginning cast members. A little tidbit. Al, we can't go without talking about Stuart Smalley. I remember the Michael Jordan one was probably such a huge home run. That one's... That was a peak on air. One of the greatest sketches, yeah. Yeah, that was... You know, I mean... Kill killer. Well, and he was...

I think he was cracking up or something too much or something in dress. And I just said, just dial it, you know, and he understood it. I mean, so here's a guy, you know, he's a very, oh, you know, remember when Lauren hosted or produced the ESPYs?

I don't know if you remember. Maybe you weren't around for that. So he sponsored, produced the ESPYs. And so I was a presenter and I did this joke and it died. And I thought it was a great joke. And this was the year they did the second three-peat.

Right. The Bulls did. So I went up there and I just said, and remember, this is a lot of athletes and a lot of people in sports. But I just go like, you know, a lot of people are saying that Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player who ever lived. Well, all I can say is Michael Jordan.

And it just laid there. It's not the right crowd. They just going, he has proven it. That was their attitude. Who the fuck is this guy? I remember that laying an egg so bad.

And I went, oh, okay, this is not a comedy crowd. Jordan at that show running around was such a big deal. That was so much fun. Was he kind of the biggest guest in that way?

Jordan, that one, and we were there, I think. I mean, I in a way, I mean, he's I remember that was the first time we were fielding NBA players in the Olympics. And I just said to him, so how do you think you're going to do? And it was like him and magic. I mean, you know, it was like, yeah, and he said, oh, and he was so confident.

And of course they just kill everybody. Yeah. And without even trying really, it was, but I, I just remember the, the, the exuding confidence, uh,

And the competitive, he had a moment with me. He goes, do you golf? I go, well, a little bit here and there. I go, but I'm lucky to break 100. And he paused, he looked at me, and he's towering over me. He goes, well, you're not very good, are you? That's unnecessary. That's unnecessary, Michael. Well, he's famously competitive. You don't seem very athletic. Yeah, you don't seem very athletic. Yeah.

He bets a lot on golf and he bets like each hole and he bets, because I golf and I'm not very good either, but it's fun. The stories you hear from caddies and these great golf courses where he comes in and sweeps people and he loves it, loves it. He's just always looking for some action, which is great. It's a cool thing about him. People love him.

Michael Jordan well I think athletes athletes just kind of blow our minds old movie stars when Robert Mitchum came on Charlton Heston or Wayne Gretzky Wayne Gretzky showed me how to hold a hockey stick Wayne Gretzky got on his knees and and laced up my skates and showed me how to do that so there's moments yeah you're like damn and the musicians as well

Yeah. I wasn't there for Peyton Manning, but I thought, did you see that show? I wasn't, but I thought he was hysterical on the show. I saw it. He was fabulous. Yeah. There were a number of these guys who were just really, really good. And some of them were lockses.

Like, yeah, but they're almost funny being loxes. Do you remember a piece that we were at? Tom and I wrote this kind of figure out who was there, which one of you were there? Hurry. It was Joe Montana. And he was Walter Payton. Well, yeah, but on this one, Joe Montana, who was kind of a lox.

um we just thinking out loud thinking out loud that one yeah yeah oh yeah it was it was uh it starts off with uh phil and jan and he's trying to get her to stay the night

And and it's that cliche of he says something and then you hear what he's thinking. Yeah. And then she says something and we played it. Tom and I wrote it so that you thought that was the sketch that that we thought that was the comedy. And if you're watching it, you're going like, this is kind of lame. This is a device that people use a lot. And then his roommate comes and Phil's going, oh, no.

And he says, this guy, you know, my roommate is the most honest guy there is. And then at one point he goes, you know, he says, it's nice to meet you. And then his thought is, it's nice to meet her. And then the last line was, I'm going to go upstairs and masturbate. And then I'm going to go upstairs and masturbate was his thought. Right. And my God, it was so funny. And it was partly funny because he was a locks.

And he was competitive with himself. I was told that he wouldn't come out of his dressing room. At the end of the show, he thought he didn't do well, that kind of thing. You're a football player. What are you talking about? But I got to play catch with him. He did fine. He was funny. There was no way not to do well as an athlete. Bill Russell did well, did really well. I just...

I did a roast with Peyton and I didn't see his SNL, but I thought it would be fun to have Peyton in there. And he crushed it. He's crushing, you know, they wrote him jokes, but he delivered them. He was great. He got huge laughs, huge applause. He's always, he's got a very light, funny thing about him. And that's why I think he's,

in all these commercials and does that Manning cast. It all works. You know what I've discovered in comedy? Some people are funny and some people aren't. Is that really? In all your days, that's what you've come up with? Yeah. Do you guys think, like, you were there at the beginning. There's 900 of us, Dana. That was, you know, one of Lauren's great things. There's only, about funny people, there's only 900 of us on the planet. Ha ha ha!

And it was kind of like the perfect number, right? Yes. Since Al, you were there in 75. I just want to ask you this question. Was anyone cognizant of the idea of taking a football player or a dramatic actor or whatever and forcing them to become a live sketch player? The reality show aspect of

of "Saturday Night Live" that sustains it. 'Cause if you see a football player or a singer trying to do this and they're kind of bad, it's still compelling, you know? - Yeah. - 'Cause they're-- - Absolutely. You know, the first one we had was Fran Tarkenton. - There you go. - Oh, wow. - And that was Franny's idea. That was my wife's idea. - Because of the namesake a little bit? Fran Tarkenton and Franny. - And how was it? - He was very good.

And it was Vikings quarterback for the audience. Yeah. Yeah. This is this going back a ways. And, you know, he wasn't the greatest who had ever done it, but

um he was he was very good and I remember Belushi for that we did a cold opening where Belushi's like a coach we did a football some a lot of football themed thing and Belushi made me go back to his apartment and read to me uh Dick butkus's autobiography and I had to stay there like all night you know hours while he read this thing

And he worshipped Dick Butkus, who was a linebacker for the Bears. I did a TV show with Dick Butkus and Bubba Smith called it was with James Farentino.

And it was this helicopter cop show. Yeah. Airwolf? No, no, it was an airwolf. Blue Thunder, the cop show. Blue Thunder, yeah. I played the Daniel Stern part. And what did you play on it? I take some Viagra for that. I played the sidekick in the back of the chopper with a helmet on, Clinton Wonderlove.

just another frustrated observer. Like I wanted to be out. Clinton Wonderlove, that was your dumb name. James Ferentino would have a styrofoam cup full of vodka and he would smash the pages of the script on the thing and yell at the crew like Scarface. What year was this? What year was this? 1920? I just took stuff. In 84, I had no confidence that I could be on Saturday Night Live really. So when people said, I luckily got cast in things, I just did them and they were a complete waste of time and I got fired because

But I got into the outfit, went into the fake chopper. They're going around blowing steam at us. And then they said, Dana, come down the ladder in front of the whole crew.

They fired me, and I had to do the perp walk and go just in front of everyone. I go to the wardrobe guy, really nice guy, and I go, I'm a comedian. I'm funny. This is like 84. He put his hand on my shoulder and said, shh, it's okay. It's okay, son. And then he saw me like eight years later in 93. He goes, you were right. What the fuck? Yeah.

What were you doing in a helicopter? I had a very strange route to SNL. I mean, you saw me once right out. You were in 84. I probably bombed. I did, and I blew it. I blew it. I saw you doing stand-up in San Francisco. I probably wasn't. That guy is brilliant. But you know what? You weren't ready. You were ready a year later.

I would just say confidence until you're kind of famous is a wide range of how you'll be on a given night. And if you lose a little bit of confidence, at least for me, I don't know about Dave Chappelle. You know what? Or Robin Williams. But yeah, go ahead. I don't think I was the best judge to do this. You know, I.

I that year, that was the year we came back from being gone. Right. That Lauren came back to being gone. Yes. 85. You know, we picked we picked Lovett's that year where we got a few good people. But I think there are some people that we missed that were really that and

ended up being real huge mistake. It's always easier after the fact to say, oh, why didn't you pick that person? But you, you know, when you see them, sometimes it's too raw or too rough or they haven't developed and you just,

It's an easier miss. It's better to wait. You know, there are people sometimes they'll put them on when they're not ready. They're 21 or 22 and not ready. But for me to get on with Phil and Jan, frequently do the church chat sketch. Rosie Schuster was the one who was helping me form. I had the character, but the platform. Then all these religious scandals happen.

And Al came on and you did Swagger, right? So throughout that first year... I think I did Pat Robertson. Pat Robertson, and then Phil did Swagger, and then they did Tammy Fager. So I have this church-like J.D. Clayton character. I get fat. Perfect. Yeah, and then these scandals start happening. But that was fun, you doing Pat Robertson laughing or crying. But it was a very funny take on Pat Robertson. My Pat Robertson was just very happy. Yeah. Yeah.

That was the key to him. He was just very joyful. There's a woman in Ohio who's just had her diverticulitis cured. Diverticulitis.

funny words or something like that you know but he he was just happy he was a happy christian and you started laughing that was my take on him and then sweat phil was crying and then we closed in on a close-up or something like that and you're just like two idiots not talking just anyway and i heard you maybe it was on it was maybe it was with uh with jim about how

They censored church living and you just became dirtier. Yeah. And it was fine. Couldn't say penis, but I could say throbbing, bulbous organ, willing as a mallet. Naughty parts, sweating and grinding. Yeah. So that it was, it became, yeah, it was pornographic to me. I don't know, but that was a,

Well, all they cared about was, is someone going to complain? Yeah. And they're not going to, they could complain about penis because it's penis. Right. But they're not going to complain about throbbing. Throbbing naughty parts. Yeah.

Dana, the road to getting engaged can be long and full of memories. Oh, yeah. Or it can be short and thrilling or somewhere in between. But the road to finding the perfect engagement ring is straightforward path every time. All you got to do is head over to good old BlueNile.com. Good news, David, on BlueNile.com.

You can create a bigger, more brilliant piece than you can imagine at a price you won't find at a traditional jeweler. The original online jeweler since 1999, they've committed to ensuring that the highest ethical standards are observed when sourcing diamonds and jewelry. Their diamond price guarantee means that in most cases they can meet or beat a competitor's price on a comparable diamond. Every time.

Every Blue Nile order is insured and arrives in packaging that won't give away what's inside. In most cases, can be delivered overnight. You got 100% satisfaction guarantee. Guaranteed free shipping and returns. So you can make sure your ring is the one, the one you want.

And because you want that love to last forever, you get guaranteed service and repair on it for life. These are great deals. I got to say, you know, I mean, you just want to have that loved one pick up that box and go, honey, I don't know what this is. And then you say, well, maybe you should open it. Okay. And then you hear, oh my goodness. I love you. I love you. Blue Nile. She says, I love you to blue Nile.

Yeah, because it's such a nice ring. It's an unmarked thing, but then it says Blue Nile somewhere. Yeah. She goes, oh, you couldn't have. You wouldn't have spent that much. Oh, this has got to be a trick. This is too nice. Yeah, no. Right now, get 30% off. Select Lab Grown Diamonds on BlueNile.com. Plus, use code FLY, very important, to get $50 off your engagement ring purchase of $500 or more. What is it?

That's $50 off with CodeFly at BlueNile.com. BlueNile.com. Okay, when you're hiring for your small business, you want to find quality professionals that are right for the role, obviously. That's why you have to check out LinkedIn Jobs. Everyone knows LinkedIn, but LinkedIn Jobs has the tools to help find the right professionals for your team faster and for free.

That's right. You need good people, Dana. You do, David. And newsflash, LinkedIn isn't just a job board. LinkedIn helps you hire professionals you can't find anywhere else. Even those who aren't actively searching for a new job, it might be open to the perfect role. In a given month, David, check this out, write it down if you want to, over 70% of LinkedIn users don't visit other leading job sites. So if you're not looking on LinkedIn,

You're looking in the wrong place. Well, because they get what they want from LinkedIn. So why look around? On LinkedIn, 86% of small businesses get a qualified candidate within 24 hours. That's one day according to my calculations. That's right. And LinkedIn knows that small businesses are wearing so many hats that might not have the time and or resources to hire. You know what I'm saying? Yeah. They're constantly finding ways to make the process easier, even though it's easy already. Yeah.

They launched a feature that helps you write job descriptions, make it even easier if you want to post something, you know. That's right. Quicker. 2.5 million small businesses use LinkedIn for hiring. Listen, post your job for free at LinkedIn.com slash candidates. That's LinkedIn.com slash candidates to post your job for free. As always, terms and conditions apply.

Andrew Brewer, who is our kind of cool censor guy, he wrote into the podcast because we've talked about him. But we always say positive things. He's always in like a tough position. And he'd always go, guys, come on, you can't do this when you're not saying pussy like that. And I'm like, no, what do you mean? We always play dumb. What are you talking about? Oh, that's right. You had that very...

indistinct pussy. Oh, that's right. You remember that. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, what was that? Yeah, I still have it between my legs. No, it was on Weekend Update and I sort of mumbled the word pussy and Dennis was like, Spudly, I wouldn't mess this one up. You're going to be fucking out of here. You're already teetering on a thread. I'm like, what? Thanks. And then...

And so I said the in and out list, you know, I think the out list was going out after the show, getting a lot of pussy. Oh, yeah, the in was, I was saying, oh, it is not enunciating enough to get caught by the censors, and then the out was going against all the pussy. And then I walk in the hallway, and Andrew's shaking his head, walking me, going, Spade, come here. And I go, what? What?

I have no idea what you're going to ask me. And then he goes, come on, dude. And I go, but it did pretty good address. So he goes, come on, you can't. We got advertisers saying we pull out if he does this. And so I do it and then...

Dennis is right next to me going, I don't know, spud. And so I do it and it gets too big of a laugh. And Dennis is like, it's curtains for you guy. Did you want too big a laugh was trouble? Yeah. Because it means you said it to everyone understood it. Yeah. Well, uh,

But I got along really well with most of the censors. Yeah. You know, Clotworthy, because I know you mentioned him with Jim. I really like Bill Clotworthy. He was a nice guy. Yeah. He was a lovely guy. It's a tough job. He stood by a couple of things I did that were... Do you remember...

uh first you cry uh for the this nbc reporter wrote a book about her having a mastectomy and it's called first you cry and then i did a sketch when we had uh it was first

he cries and it was it was Gilda unfortunately in retrospect has a mastectomy and Bill Murray is her husband and he just goes

you know, it starts feeling really sorry for himself because his wife is horrible. The whole point was it was satirical, which is no, I doesn't do that. Yeah, that is a joke. Yeah. Yeah, that was the joke. And so and

And B. Arthur was her oncologist. And she's basically saying this happens all the time. And the fact that he's got a girlfriend now named Bambi is to be expected. And and Cloutworthy's wife had had a mastectomy. And he just said to me, I love this sketch. Wow. Because he got the satiric point of it.

And that was that was when you just went. And I was really good friends with all the sensors because I talked to them all the time. Yeah.

Because my stuff was, you know, I had to deal with them all the time. You call down. Edgy. All right, Dana, what else you got for Al, this poor guy? We're moving to the ringer. I don't know. I'm having fun. I know it is fun. Stuart Smalley, we got to that. There's too much. I will have one last thing. You didn't write Reagan Mastermind, did you? That was a great. That was Smigel's. That was Smigel's. I kicked in. Yeah. But...

You know, that had a line that Chippendales had, which was, this is the part of the job I hate. And that was Mike Myers' line when they had to choose between Swayze and Chris. And, you know, so hard, you know, they're consulting and Myers goes, this is the part of the job I hate. So that was one of my favorite lines. I don't think I wrote that in

I doubt he wrote Chippendales. I had one. I get my name was on it, but it was because I sat with him while he wrote it. That's a good trick. I had one thing in it, which was the name Barney. Barney. Yeah. Barney and Adrian, right? Barney and Adrian. Adrian. Barney. Barney. Yeah, that was Nealon. He did that great. Well, Nealon. Nealon.

the greatest attitude player. That was what was great. It was like you just knew Nealon could play attitude. Downey and I wrote a piece, which was and then you think about how of the time it was. It was a toothpaste ad that

which had had Garrett and Victoria and that Garrett Tim Meadows, I guess, and Victoria Jackson. And they're pitching it for the Country Music Awards. And and Kevin is the guy who is receiving the pitch and has to say, no, we don't want to put

And it ends with this big kiss, right? And this is, I can't remember what year it was, but this was not something you would put on the country music awards, a white woman kissing a black guy on the lips. And it was Nealon trying to say no without saying that. Right.

Saying all the reasons it wouldn't work, but just, you know, just. Yeah, that sounds very. Yeah, I can't remember the lines, but you give him attitude and it was just he was a master. Yeah, maybe he is. He is. You could think of something else to do here at this beat. I don't know. That's you know, then I ran for the Senate.

You ran for the Senate. A little birdie told me that you ran for the Senate. Yeah, and then, yeah, look, you guys, this idea of doing that, you've had, I love that you're having writers on. I kind of go by like people in high school or college that are just interested in this or interested in comedy. It's kind of interesting to hear it just straight from people.

Their process or how it happened and why and the whimsy of it all, too. Just like where does your inspiration come from, Al? You once told me, Dana, that no one should become a comedian unless they have to be a comedian. Pretty much. I think show business in general is an emotionally violent sport.

You said that. I wrote that down. I thought that was interesting. Well, your feelings get hurt a lot, even if you're doing really well. And, you know, my touchstone, as corny as it sounds, is like, I'm still making money doing this.

And that's pretty cool. I never lost it. Yeah. Well, because you're one of 900 people who can. Yeah. I just got an update. There's 911. Some Bangladeshis were funny, and we had someone...

uh from medagas who made some people fall out people fall more well guys thanks al thank you really really really interesting and fun so thanks for coming on and uh we'll be talking to you soon thank you guys all right see you senator al franken okay bye-bye

Hey, what's up, flies? What's up, fleas? What's up, people that listen? We want to hear from you and your dumb questions. Questions, ask us anything. Anything you want. You can email us at flyonthewallatcadence13.com. Hey, we got a question here, Dana, and to wrap it up, this is, we get so many questions that we usually say the listener's name, but...

When so many ask the same type of question, we're just going to do the question. They've written about Larry Sanders' show and Gary. Any stories about, yeah. Well, you go ahead. Gary Shanley. Gary Shanley, um...

We all knew Gary for a long time in the clubs, great standup. And then when he did the Larry Sanders show, he asked me to come on it. They were making episodes, but the show was not released yet. So he asked me to come on and be myself, Dana Carvey guest hosting for Larry Sanders.

And we had a scene where he asked me to do an impression of him to him. 'Cause I used to do this gear where we go, "What are people doing? "I don't know what the cat food on the carpet." Which was an exaggeration of one of his rhythms and he's the one who wanted me to do it. Here's the interesting part of me guest hosting Larry Sanders.

Herve Villachez, who was a little person, was a guest on the show, but it had never aired. Even though he was told, he thought I was a real talk show host interviewing him, and he never knew that it was a fake talk show. So that was very funny. So I was on one of the very first Larry Sanders. David? David?

Well, a tidbit, I went to the Comedy Museum. Heather, where was that? It was in Jamestown, New York. And they have the Larry Sanders set there. They have so much. This is actually, I'll give them a shout out. It's a great comedy museum. They have so many things. But they have the set, which threw me back because I did do, I did the third one. Again, like you, I think he was getting people he knew a little bit. He's from Tucson. I'm from Scottsdale. I knew him a little bit.

And through Brillstein Gray, I knew him. I was going to be on his old Gary Shandling show and we didn't work it out. And this one, he said, why don't you play yourself? It was sort of like you where you said, why don't you play a comedian? I had like a goofy comedian name. Then he goes, why don't you just do it as yourself? Do you care? We might just do that. They don't want to play themselves. Janine Garofalo interviewed me and I was a stand-up. It was a funny idea because I was a stand-up and I did...

I was doing his show like on a Friday. And on Monday, I do Leno and I do the same set. And then he goes, you can't do the same set here. I go, well, it doesn't matter. They go, no, no, you have to do all new stuff. I go, no. And so-

It was a big mess. And then they bumped me. Rip Torn goes. Rip Torn. He goes, let's bump that fucking spade and teach him a lesson. Show him how Hollywood works on here. And so they bumped me. And then two seconds later, Janine Groffler runs in and goes, Joe Pesci's stuck in Chicago. There's a snowstorm. And Rip Torn looks at Gary and goes,

And then you cut to Gary going, making his third appearance to David Spade. And I come out and I open with my same joke and Rip Torn just shrugs his shoulders. And that was the episode. It was fucking great. I thought it was so funny. I thought Gary was great. I mean, Dana knew him better in the real life, but...

He blessed my house. I bought a house in Encino, my wife and I, and he wanted to come go through it for spirits and stuff. Oh, really? So we stood outside and waited, and Gary was in there for like 20 minutes. He came out. He goes, it's clean. That's his side hustle? But I would say that Gary, as funny as they come in the show, you know, he was a little bit conflicted for a while. He was up for taking over for Johnny, which Jay Leno did.

And then he does this show and I've had young people, young people email me and stuff. This Larry Sanders show is pretty brilliant. So it broke everything. It broke the office. He really influenced so many people with that.

Whatever you call that style I'd never been on a show like that They had three 16mm cameras And you're doing a take Every take is done There's the single shots And the two shot And he also In between you go Yeah just say something like that And I'll say something like this And yeah really give it to me this time And then you would do it So it was incredibly Good for comedians Because who wants to repeat The same line over and over Sort of like pre-curb You know when I did Curb They say Just get angry on this take It wasn't even about lines Just here's your attitude in this

And then they go whisper to Larry, here's his attitude. I don't know what his is going to be. So I think Gary might have started all that. He started. He in the modern era. I mean, there were other people. It's the Gary Shandling show. He broke the fourth wall. But he kind of lit the match for this modern type comedy. Thank you, people. God rest his soul. And thanks for the question.

This has been a podcast presentation of Cadence 13. Please listen, then rate, review, and follow all episodes. Available now for free wherever you get your podcasts. No joke, folks. Fly on the Wall has been a presentation of Cadence 13, executive produced by Dana Carvey and David Spade, Chris Corcoran of Cadence 13, and Charlie Finan of Brillstein Entertainment. The show's lead producer is Greg Holtzman with production and engineering support from Serena Regan and Chris Basil of Cadence 13.