#417: Turning The Tables: From Breakdowns To Breakthroughs in Business & Life with Heather!
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When I started podcasting, an online store was the furthest thing from my mind. Now I'm selling my group coaching on the regular and it is just so easy all because I use Shopify.

I'm on this journey with me. Each week when you join me, we are going to chase down our goals, overcome adversity, and set you up for a better tomorrow. I'm ready for my close-up. Hi, and welcome back. I'm so glad you're back here with me this week. Okay, so one of the things I was thinking about this weekend...

I got to spend some time with a lot of my girlfriends. There's like a birthday season. Do you have that in your life where it feels like all of your friends have a birthday within the same month? So this weekend there's three different birthday parties. So many birthdays happening. It's crazy.

And one of my dearest friends in Miami wanted to know if I voted thumbs up or thumbs down on a date she was having. So she wanted me to meet up and vet the date. There was a lot of places to be this weekend, a lot to do, all crazy and ridiculous and super blessed and grateful that I have amazing friends. But I'll tell you, I definitely make my friends a priority in my life. And people ask me all the time, how do you have so many great girlfriends? How have you kept them so long? Where you...

Where you put your energy is where you'll see growth. Right. So if you invest in people, if you make them a priority, I didn't want to go to all these birthday parties this weekend, but I knew it was important to them. Right. And so when you show up for people and you make people a priority, they do the same for you.

and if they don't those are not your people right so if you want to have great friends if you want them to be important in your life and make you feel great you got to do the same for them so i've been showing up all weekend i went and vetted my friend's date thumbs down and just a quick note on that it was funny because i had recently seen her out with another guy who literally looked at her as if she was the only woman in the room

And I used that juxtapose and comparison when I saw her out with this other guy who looked at me the exact same way he looked at her. Like we were just, you know, people, which is fine. And he was super nice and fun. But the way this other man looked at her, nothing else mattered. It was so obvious. It was beautiful actually to see when someone has so much love in their heart and their eyes for someone that you can feel it.

That's how someone should be loved. And for me at 49 years old, I've been married. I've been engaged twice. I've been divorced. I have a child. I've gone through a lot of experiences and I'm clear on what that looks like. And you can feel it. And I could feel it for my friend. And when I explained it to her, she's 10 years younger than me, never been married, no kids.

and hasn't had all the life experience I have, I was able to share with her, listen, this guy is great, super fun, very attractive, very kind, funny, smart, cool.

He's not your guy. And she knew in her heart of hearts, but that's why it's so important when you bring people into your life, before you start asking for their advice, before you're picking them to vet people in your life, make sure that they have the knowledge that you need, right? Take a hard look. There's plenty of people in my life. I would not ask for business advice.

There's certain people in my life I would ask for relationship advice. There are very few people in my life that I would ask for business advice, right? So just be clear on people can be just amazing friends, but not someone you go to for advice. That's fine too. Just be very careful who you ask for advice. Never take direction from someone who hasn't been where you want to go. One of my girlfriends has an amazing marriage and she's definitely one of the people I always go to when I'm dating someone and I have questions.

she's acing that part of her life, right? She's not killing it in business. So I don't ask her business questions. Be really intentional about who you seek advice from.

It's going to impact you in a very, very big way. And also be really aware who's a champion for you. Surround yourself with people that want you at the table. Surround yourself with people that save you a seat. And if you don't have those people, fire them. Go to another room and find new people because they are out there. And as you show up as that most powerful, real version of yourself, you'll attract those right people to you. I promise you that. Meet a different guest each week. What is it like to change?

When I started podcasting, an online store was the furthest thing from my mind. Now I'm selling all my digital courses and coaching on Shopify. It's so easy all because I use Shopify.

Shopify is the global commerce platform that helps you sell at every stage of your business from the launch your online shop stage to the first real life store stage all the way to the did we just hit a million order stage? Shopify is there to help you grow. Whether you're selling scented soap or offering outdoor outfits, Shopify helps you sell everywhere from their all in one e-commerce platform to their in-person POS system, wherever and whatever you're selling. Shopify's got you covered.

Shopify helps you turn browsers into buyers with the internet's best converting checkout, 36% better on average compared to the other leading commerce platforms and sell more with less. Thanks to Shopify magic, your AI powered also star Shopify is constantly teaching me so much things that I never knew about conversion. I am not a master on any of this selling online. I'm a master in coaching people in the things I do, but I did not know how to convert it. Shopify is always sending me tips, tricks,

and offering different partners and solutions for me to improve my conversions, which means ultimately drive more revenue for my business and diversify my business. Thank you, Shopify. Shopify powers 10% of all e-commerce in the U.S. and Shopify is a global force behind Allbirds, Rothy's, and Brooklyn, and millions of other entrepreneurs of every age.

every size over across 175 countries. Plus Shopify's award-winning help is there to support your success every step of the way. And it's so good because businesses that grow, grow with Shopify. Sign up for a $1 per month trial period at shopify.com slash monaghan, all lowercase. Go to shopify.com slash monaghan now to grow your business no matter what stage you're in. Shopify.com slash monaghan.

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So today I wanted to share a chapter from Confidence Creator and give you some color on each one of the topics I'm going to get into. Okay, so my first book is called Confidence Creator. If you haven't read it yet, get the Audible, because if you're listening to me, it's still your girl. I narrate it. I love it. Confidence Creator, Heather Monaghan, get the Audible. Okay, chapter 19, Turning Tragedy.

into triumph. A little over a month after being fired, I heard that a former coworker of mine was fired from the same company. I called him immediately and he sounded so scared and sad. I understood how he felt because only four weeks earlier, I felt the exact same way. I told him what I did and how I got back on my feet. Over the past year, people have shared with me their own personal stories about getting fired and how they dealt with the adversity.

I started compiling those stories and put together a list of techniques that help me and others get through difficult times like this. When people tell me they've been fired, here is the advice that I give them. Okay, number one, this is good.

By the way, I'm going to give you some additional color. Feel sad. That's super important. And I gave myself that grace. This is not me reading. I'm just giving color. But I definitely gave myself grace, at least for a day. I was a disaster, bawling my eyes out. I felt so bad. I was having a pity party. And I think it's important to do that.

It was really, really painful. I was very, very hurt. However, you can't stay there that long. Okay, now I'm going back to reading. First and foremost, it is necessary to give yourself some time to feel hurt, upset, and angry. I certainly felt that way. I cried for two days straight. Oh, I guess I was wrong. I thought it was one day. I guess it was two.

Anytime you suffer disappointment, you will struggle. Don't skip this step. Don't pretend you aren't feeling these things. Let it out because it's the first step you need to take in order to bounce back stronger. Fact.

facts. Give yourself some grace. Oh, this is a good one. Have a 30 day plan. I broke my plan down into weeks. Each week I had specific goals I wanted to accomplish. And each week was a step that helped me to get to my ultimate monthly goal. Everyone's goals are different. So come up with a plan that fits you and what you want to accomplish. Write it down because seeing it in writing makes it visual and makes it real. Hold yourself accountable. Crossing the days off on a calendar helps too.

You will see yourself getting closer to your goal and feeling better. Most importantly, have faith that things can change for the better. They can. Your entire life can change in 24 hours. Literally, you can meet a new person that could open up an opportunity or sweep you off your feet or you just never know. Literally, everything can change in 24 hours. Stay optimistic. Stay open. One of the cool things, this is not in the book, but one of the cool things when I look back and think about that time, the 30-day plan, the best

biggest takeaway now that I look back on it were the surprising things that showed up in my life like the opportunity to go on the Elvis Duran show and then him speaking conviction and belief into me that I could write a book and then me googling how do you write a book and figuring it out and now me sitting here right now reading you the book that was just an idea something that I didn't even know was possible back then in every moment things are changing in every moment

You're learning something new, gaining access to information you didn't have previously, and that changes everything moving forward. Okay, next, keep a journal. Write down what you're doing each day. Write down how you feel. List your fears. Describe what actions you want to take each day to improve. When you set a goal to lose weight, you weigh yourself daily and keep yourself on track. It's a process. It's no different than when you find yourself trying to get through a difficult situation. It's the equivalent of taking your temperature each day and

And that allows you to see that you're getting better, even if you don't initially feel any better. This will become your roadmap to rebuilding your strength. At the end of this process, the insight you glean from your notes will empower you in ways you can't imagine. And by the way, I still go back to those journals and I feel so strong now when I go back and see how weak I was in that moment. So being real and vulnerable with yourself, it

It's going to give you power moving forward because now when I go back and read that, I know you can't connect the dots looking forward, but now I can connect them looking back. I didn't know I'd write two books. I didn't know I'd sign with Harper Collins leadership. I didn't know I'd become a top 50 keynote speaker in the world and speak at Saudi Arabia, the largest tech conference, right? I didn't know any of this stuff was going to happen. But now that I look back, I can look at that Heather,

the day that I got fired and give her a virtual hug and say, hang in there, kid, things are about to get so much better. You can't even imagine. And I want you to have that same excitement for you. Okay. Um, remember that you've been here before. It may sound depressing at first, but identifying another time in your life when you've been hurt helps, um,

After I was fired, I went back to look at my divorce journal to see where I was at different times and how I progressed to eventually move beyond the pain. You gain strength by reading how you previously overcame adversity. It reinforces the idea that you can do it again and you will.

Express gratitude. This is huge. Shifting your perspective and expressing gratitude will help you accelerate your progress and get you closer to your goal of feeling better. Every morning when you wake up, write down three things that you are grateful for. Do it for a month. It can be something substantial like your children, friends, health, or something small like a good hair day or a beautiful flower you saw on the way to your car. It

I do that all the time. I love that. Taking the time to stop, look, and appreciate the beauty all around you in your life

Gives you so much more to be grateful for and attracts more great things into your life. Do what feels good. Super important. Take the time to enjoy songs, smells, walks, exercise, being outside, separating from technology, meditating. I need to get better at that. And spending time with those you love. Find out what makes you feel good and do it. The more time you spend doing the things that make you feel happy, the

the more happy and positive experiences you will bring into your life. Create the momentum. Spend time doing what feels good for you. You're worth it. Open up. Sharing what happened to you with others is huge. Your mess becomes the message. You will be shocked to learn how many people want to help you and want to be there for you. Simply, if you just ask.

If you share your own story, people will share theirs. Put yourself out there. The universe has a funny way of giving you what you need, but you can't sit back and expect it to fall into your lap. You need to take action.

Look for a silver lining. Getting fired was like a punch in the gut. But after some time, I realized how my stress levels decreased once I was fired. I was calm, wasn't rushing around. I was happy to wake up each day. I was able to appreciate my son and my fiance at the time. I have actually ended that. I ended that relationship years ago. But when I wrote the book, I was engaged again behind the scenes.

And see how absolutely amazing they truly were. Both of them continued to blow me away with their support. That was for sure.

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for fall dressing now that fall is right around the corner. I'm so thrilled to hear from one of our favorite sponsors, Jenny Kane. They are the experts in classic elevated wardrobe essentials, especially iconic and super luxe sweaters. Jenny Kane is a California brand through and through, and their staples make getting dressed easy.

Effortless. Think minimalist and refined with pieces like cozy cashmere sweaters and noteworthy accessories to elevate versions of your everyday basics. Jenny Kane has everything you need to take the guesswork out of getting dressed, not to mention the most incredible home essentials, too. Their sweaters are the quintessential must-have item, and I'm eagerly stocking up on all their transitional knits and fall-ready basics like the cashmere cocoon cardigan. The cocoon is the perfect cardigan. It's oversized, super soft, and goes without.

Find your new uniform at JennyKane.com. Our listeners get 15% off your first order when you use code CONFIDENCE15 at checkout. That's 15% off your first order. J-E-N-N-I-K-A-Y-N-E.com. Promo code CONFIDENCE15. Let getting dressed be one of the things that you worry much less about. Embrace your summer aesthetic with Jenny Kane. Find your new uniform at JennyKane.com. 15% off with your first order.

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Okay, live in the present. Really key here. It's so easy to get ahead of ourselves or get anxious when thinking about uncertainty in the future. Don't fall into the trap. You want goals and you want to work towards goals, but live in the moment and live in today. Realize that you are living in this moment and this moment is yours. You are exactly where you need to be. Anything is possible today.

That's something I still work on when I start getting stressed out or I start worrying about the future. I remind myself, be grateful for this moment right here. Look around, look outside, feel how you feel and stop putting yourself in the future. And when I do that, I'm instantly happier.

I love it.

I never knew I would speak in Saudi Arabia this year, right? But I've always been saying and praying to God to lay me on the biggest stages in the world and to speak through me so that we can impact, help, and heal millions. I've been praying that for years.

Am I shocked that I ended up in Saudi Arabia in front of that massive audience? No. But did I ever plan for it? Not really. I prayed to have the opportunity to do good and impact millions. And those doors eventually started opening for me.

Okay, take a step back. Think about your former goals. Do you have the same goals today that you did years earlier? People change, and as they do, so does what they want. It's easy to put on blinders and race towards a goal without realizing that deep down inside, you might have shifted lanes. You might not want the same things anymore, but continue to pursue those same goals because that's what you've always done. What are you meant to be doing now? What will it take for you to get there?

Take this time to reassess and modify your goals so they better fit the direction you want your life to take now. You are priority number one. You are the one going through this and you are the one who's going to improve your life as a result of it. No one else can do it for you and nobody has to give you anything. No permission, nothing. You've got it within you. You have to work for it and you have to be your biggest supporter.

That all begins with putting yourself first. Before every flight, the attendants go through their spiel and tell you that during an emergency, you must put the oxygen mask on you first before helping others.

This doesn't mean that you should turn your back on others, but you have to survive first before you can start helping others. Start your survival strategy today. Put you first. Be open to science. Notice what is happening around you. Sometimes the answers to the most complex problems have simple solutions that were always right in front of us.

And when all else fails, remember this is temporary. When you are down, the key is to remember that things will go back up again and nothing is ever as bad as it initially seems. Like most of you, I've had my share of breakdowns, but looking back on all of it now, I've come to realize that my biggest breakdowns ultimately led me to my biggest breakthroughs. And the same will be true for you.

Okay, if you're liking what I'm putting down, get the book, Confidence Creator, the Audible version. I narrate both of my books, Overcome Your Villains and Confidence Creator. Read Confidence Creator first.

So good. I love it. I'm super proud of it. And yes, there are three mistakes in there because done will always be better than perfect. If you like the show, please share it on social media. When you tag me, I repost and reshare and comment on your stuff. I so appreciate your support. No one succeeds alone, including this girl. And if you could leave a review, it would mean the world to me. Until next week, keep creating your confidence. You know I will be. I decided to change that dynamic. I couldn't.

I couldn't be more excited for what you're going to hear. Start learning and growing. Inevitably, something will happen. No one succeeds alone. You don't stop and look around once in a while. You could miss it. I'm on this journey with me.

What's up, everyone? I'm Hala Taha, host of Yap Young and Profiting Podcast, a top 10 entrepreneurship podcast on Apple. I'm also the CEO and founder of the Yap Media Podcast Network, the number one business and self-improvement podcast network. That's why they call me the podcast princess. On Young and Profiting Podcast, I interview the brightest minds in the world,

offering actionable advice to level up your life. I've interviewed marketing legends like Gary Vee and Seth Godin, serial entrepreneurs like Alex Ramosi and Damon John, and even the godmother and godfather of AI, Fifi Lee and Stephen Wolfram, respectively. I've interviewed so many inspiring guests, and I don't really like to put my podcast in a box.

We talk about anything that will improve your life as an entrepreneur. I tend to talk a lot about brand, marketing, sales strategies, and better understanding psychology and human behavior to get what you want. But we also cover things like balance, biohacking, and mental wellness, and of course, hot topics like AI. One

One thing my listeners always say is that my podcast is highly motivational. If you want to get pumped up and take your life and business to the next level, come listen, learn, and profit with the Yap fam. We're young and profiting not because of our age, but because we're committed to ongoing learning and self-improvement. So join podcast royalty and subscribe to Yap, Young and Profiting on Apple, Spotify, or wherever you listen to your podcasts.