The Secret Growth Strategy of Multi-Million Dollar Entrepreneurs: Building Relationships
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let's be serious no matter how good you are marketing if you don't have any sales you're still out of business i would actually bring a third one in there uh marketing sales or branding and i think today branding is what people say about you when you're not in the conversation and so if you can establish a good brand it makes conversions it makes conversations it makes marketing far easier but if you've got a shitty brand

and you're really good at marketing, then all you've been able to do is amplify a really shitty brand. So I would say branding comes before everything. And then I'll be focusing on the solution of who my target market is, and therefore the sales. The marketing is just amplification.

Welcome to the Home Service Expert, where each week, Tommy chats with world-class entrepreneurs and experts in various fields, like marketing, sales, hiring, and leadership, to find out what's really behind their success in business. Now, your host, the home service millionaire, Tommy Mello.

Before we get started, I wanted to share two important things with you. First, I want you to implement what you learned today. To do that, you'll have to take a lot of notes, but I also want you to fully concentrate on the interview. So I asked the team to take notes for you. Just text NOTES to 888-526-1299. That's 888-526-1299. And you'll receive a link to download the notes from today's episode.

Also, if you haven't got your copy of my newest book, Elevate, please go check it out. I'll share with you how I attracted and developed a winning team that helped me build a $200 million company in 22 states. Just go to elevateandwin.com forward slash podcast to get your copy. Now let's go back into the interview. All right, guys, welcome back to the Home Service Expert. Today is a very special day because Steve Sims is...

He's a mentor. He'll be at the Freedom Event. He's one of the realest people I know. He doesn't really care what people think. He wrote Blue Fishing, which was absolutely phenomenal. I don't think there's anybody that could get access just by asking like Steve. You're going to learn a lot from him. And he wrote Gopher Stupid.

and build something extraordinary. He's an expert of social media marketing. He's amazing on stages. He's an event management advertising specialist. He's based out of Los Angeles. Speaker and coach stevesims.com, stevedsims.com. Been doing that since 2014. CEO and founder of SD Sims. He started that in 2008. And Blue Fishing, looks like 2008 to 2019.

He was labeled the real life wizard of odds by Entrepreneur Magazine for his experience with teaching the art of communication and helping businesses accelerate their goals. Steve founded the high-end luxury concierge and has spoken for Harvard, the Pentagon, and Fortune 500 companies. He's also a well-known author, and it's a pleasure to have you here today. It's an honor to be here, pal. It's always a pleasure when I get to hang with you.

I'm excited. I don't even know where to start except you've done so much in your life from your dad laying bricks to living in Hong Kong at a bar, just the tough guy letting people in and going and setting up people's dreams that they never thought was possible, whether that's going on a spaceship or having a meal in Rome. There's so many stories, but what are you doing now?

Up to today, and what are you excited about in the future?

All right. And I'm actually going to edit something that you said earlier, which I know you don't believe. So I'll come to that in a second. As a bricklayer growing up, I knew how to work hard. You know, like all of you guys, all of everyone on this circle that's listening to Tommy now, we know what it's like to get up at four o'clock in the morning. We know what it's like to go home at eight o'clock in the morning, eight o'clock in the evening, and then do it again the following day. We work what we need to do.

But I wondered if there was another way. And so I went out of my way to try and speak to some of the most successful people in the planet and go, look,

I can work hard, but how can I work smart? And that was the key that I tried to optimize. So I went out to try and get this. And I noticed the first thing that all successful people have, and it's a trait across the board and across the cultures, which can often be a barrier, is a successful person's relationship to time.

Now, you actually said earlier about, look, you know, your time is important to you and who you're spending with is important. And you want people to understand that if you're spending time on like the Freedom event, it's because it's important to you. Now, you made a statement earlier about Steve's real, he's authentic, and he doesn't care what other people. I actually care a lot enough to know that I can't help everyone.

I can only help those people that are ready to accept it. I love nothing more than just being able to go, you know, why are you doing? And then burying down into someone's business and going, well, have you thought about doing this? But there's nothing worse. And we've all been in this situation. I know you coach people where you give someone the way out or the way up. And then you speak to them in six months time and you go, where are you? And they go, yeah, I haven't got around to it yet. And

And that hurts. So I'm very, very selfish with my time, very selfish with my energy and focus because I wanted to talk to people. I knew I had to give them something.

So I ended up developing out of just, you know, by de facto, this concierge firm. And I ended up getting people married in the Pope by the Vatican, closed the academia, the gallery, a museum in Florence, set a table up for six for dinner, and then had Andrea Bocelli come in and serenade them while they munched into their pasta. I've had people playing on rock stages. I've had people having the rock stage come to them. I basically did anything that you wanted to give you a better cocktail story,

purely so I could spend some time with you in that relationship to understand how you were successful. And as you've already said, I wrote a book, didn't expect it to take off, was very surprised it did. Wrote a second one, and now I teach, train, and coach all over the planet. And I am stunned to be at Freedom24, honored, and I'm bringing it. You are going to bring it. I think the, what would you describe freedom?

about a person, an entrepreneur, an influencer, a person out to win, their ability to be misunderstood, the ability to tolerate that, the ability... I think that's a trait that few and far between people actually can cope with. It is, but there's an old saying, kind of like, you know,

Have the wisdom to know what you can control and have the intelligence to understand what you can't. And all of those people that are out there throwing hate at you, and let's be serious. I remember a friend of mine once said, be so successful you get haters. You know, both me and you, we get those haters. We get those, it's a scam. Really? Why? Why do you think it's a scam? Because I've been doing it for 25 years? You know, you always get those people that like to sit there and look for the excuse to

You can't control them and you can't help them. So you've just got to be able to know the difference that if someone's throwing some dirt at you, that's because you're up there. I remember the famous line by Bruce Lee, everyone attacks the person with the ball. If you're getting attacked, you must have the ball. So you've got to understand what you can actually challenge and what you can't and know the difference between the two. I love that. Bruce Lee said that everybody attacks the person with the ball. Yep.

So, you know, blue fishing was really about the ability that you had to just open doors and create really these dreams that people didn't know they had access to for the ultra wealthy. But they're so afraid. My favorite three letters, Steve, is ASK. And very few people are willing to do it. And you might get some no's, but I find that I get more yeses.

A lot of yeses. And for some reason, especially as you get more wisdom and knowledge and more time under you, you feel this need to help out young people that are looking for their way. And I find whenever I find somebody in their 50s and 60s and 70s, as long as I listen, come with great questions and take notes, and truly appreciate what they're telling me, and they know that I'm probably going to implement what they've told me, they'll take as much time as I need.

What do you think it is about this innate characteristic of just the ability to ask? Well, here's a funny thing, and I can help you really easily for a start. I've never met a successful person that won't answer a question, but I've met a million imposters that will shy away from it.

So when you dare to go up to someone and go, look, you know, hey, you know, you're the top of the tree. What would you tell what would you tell yourself 15 years ago that would help you get there that I can implement? That person will actually take the time and go, I'm fella. And you made it. You made it very clear. If you want a great answer, ask a fantastic question. That's classic Jay Abraham there.

OK, so you've got to ask a great question in order to get a great answer. That's the first thing. Again, second thing, understand those people that are successful, they're yearning to help you. And the final thing is you're not going to get any blood cuts or be rushed to the hospital if they say no. OK, that's the first thing you've got to get over. No's don't hurt. You walk up to someone and you go, hey, can you do this? And they go, no.

All right. Now that's one element. Get over the fear factor. There's a, there's a friend of mine, Noah Kagan. You probably know him from AppSumo. Whenever he's raising capital for something, he goes on a hunt for as many noses he can get in the morning before he does his pitch. And he will get into his Uber and he'd go, Hey, what's the chance for me getting like 25% off of the rate of this Uber ride? And the Uber driver would be like, uh,

No, we don't do it. And they walk into a coffee shop or they pick up his bagel and they go like, hey, can I get 50% off the price of his bagel? And they'll be like, no. He gets so many no's on his lead up to that raising meeting that he's immune to that negative effect. But here's one thing I learned very, very, very early on. Never ask a question where no can be the answer.

So if I went to you and I said, hey, I want to borrow your car this afternoon at 4 p.m., can I have it? That's asking you a yes or no question. And you would say no. But if I went, oh, I'm in your area, I've got to get over this. And I start building up the value and the story of why I need your car and then go, look, I hate to ask you, but I am thrilled to help you out with anything else. What do I need to do to help you help me?

Now that's actually getting into a conversation. You can't stand there and go, no, because you now sound like an illiterate moron. I haven't asked you a yes or no question. I've positioned it. What needs to happen in order for this to happen? And when you enter into a conversation, you're not getting a no.

But I am stunned how many people still today. And I think social media has a lot to do with it. They're very quickly embarrassed by rejection and they look at a no as a rejection. So if you don't know what don't want that rejection, don't ask that question. And you said time. And I'm realizing now how important time is, is, you know, I woke up.

I'm 41. And I know it's a blink of an eye. I'm 51, then 61. And then you're thinking that, am I at where I should be? And there's one thing I know that no one could take away is the experiences, except they could probably take those away for Biden because he doesn't really know where he's at. But so time, who have you studied and taken the biggest lessons away about time? Who do you really look up to that you think is not just an influencer, but they're living their best life? Like I look at,

There's so many people I look at that look good from the outer world. And you'd think, man, they must be the happiest people in the world. And I know behind closed doors, and I don't know this to be true about Tony Robbins, but he's one of those guys that has 100 businesses. I don't know if he's taking personal time. But what are your thoughts? Who's mentored you or just you've studied and just taken away some really key characteristics and just really good people?

Takeaways. So I've worked with captains of industry. I've worked with people that have owned things like countries. I've worked with everyone from Elon Musk, Richard Branson, Elton John, some of the biggest names and people you've never heard of.

What I am is I am a sponge. I am an eternal student. I never want to be an expert. I constantly want to be a student. And you know, the funny thing is I've sat down and I've had conversations with Ray Kurzweil, Peter Diamandis, Elon Musk. It's really smart, sharp people that I've gone, wow, I never thought of that.

And then I've ended up speaking to like the, uh, the bus hop at like a hotel or the, or the way, uh, or someone, I remember going to a party in Beverly Hills and this was only about two years ago. And it was just after, just after COVID. So maybe a year and whatever. And, uh,

The party was shit. The party was a full of, can I look at me? I'm important, you know, and I didn't want to waste any time there. Now the downside was I had decided this in 15 minutes of a vibe. And then when I came out, so many cars were turning up. They couldn't get my car to the valet to get me to let me get home.

So I was just stood by the side and there's the valet guy there. I was chatting to him and we just ended up getting into it. And I said, oh, you know, is this what you're doing? He said, yeah, I had to do this now. And I said, why, why, why do you have to do this? Just curious with the way he had put it.

He had actually got involved in a printing company and lost his ass on it. You know, tried building it over four to five years, been working on it, and it had all gone wrong. And he was so interesting. We literally walked up into the car park, sat on the curb for about an hour and a half, just me and him chatting. And I said to him, I said, you only lose when you stop. You just got educated on what could go wrong.

You know, it's almost illegal for you now not to take that education and do something about it.

Now, fast forward from that conversation, he's got a very, very powerful event business where he prints all of the stuff and does all this creative, and he's very successful. When you fail, you become educated. When you're educated, you become experienced, and that's how it goes. So I've met people that I've gone, this is going to be a great conversation, and gone,

well, that was dull. I remember I'm hanging out with two of the sharks and I'm thinking, I don't know how you're in a position to sit in that chair and talk to people. I really have no idea. And then I've spoken to some other people that have been like in jail or, you know, criminals, you know, that have said, well, we work on this. And I'm like, that's brilliant. You know, it's illegal, but I see how you do. I see how your mind works.

And so I like to get the information from as many different people as I can. And then I'll judge to whether or not it's impactful to me. Very powerful. You know what I find? I've been podcasting a lot and I enjoy it. I enjoy the content. I enjoy that. This is my way of socializing. This is my way of learning. And I've noticed that

I can't read the same amount of books because now I got 10 books just showing up on my desk of people that's sending them to me. And there was a time I was reading one to two books a week. And what I find was I worked with a consultant, the most impactful consultant that I'll ever have in my life. His name's Al Levy. He changed the destination of my business and my personal life. And he said, I need you to stop. He goes, if you do not stop learning and implementing,

and start implementing. No more books, no more ideas, no more bullshit. You've got 20 ways you want to do things and you continue to learn at this pace that I've never seen anybody, but you're also reading a lot of bad information. So either you're going to work with me and listen to me and pause your learning and implement these things, or I'm not going to work with you.

And that was 2017. And it changed my life because he's like, we're going to do it my way. And if you don't like my way and you don't think my way is working, but my way is tested. It's true. You could talk to any of my hundreds of people that I've made successful. And although I like getting educated, I, I choose to have it through conversation. I still am a big reader.

And, you know, I got the Wall Street every morning, the printed out Wall Street. I was reading all about a lot of cool stuff today. You know, the S&P 500 and just all the stuff going on in the world. But it's actually not like depressing. But what do you find as far as learning? Are you getting more from stages, more from conversations, more from podcasts, more from books? Where do you find your happy spot?

right now, Steve, today? Yeah, well, as you pointed out, I was a doorman of a nightclub in Hong Kong. You know, God made me big and ugly and it seemed to be the perfect job for me at the time. But as entrepreneurs, we see opportunity and I saw the opportunity to see people and learn from people. And I've always wanted to learn, but I realized something very quickly. And of course, that experience you're talking about, you can only have that experience because you went through it.

I started reading a lot of tech books, you know, implement this, action this, build this. And I had all of this wealth of information, but I never had the time to actually implement it. And everyone's got a different opinion. So I started a rule and there's different rules I have, but I read two business books. Usually I can go through those pretty quick.

And then I'll read a story. I'll read some kind of like whodunit or criminal or kind of like, you know, some spy novel or Da Vinci code or something like that. Because the second we stop dreaming and imagining, then we stop creating.

And the whole point of this implementation is because someone else came up with it. So why don't you become the source of that creation? So two business books, then some kind of fantasy book. I always do that. I'm reading a Daniel Silver book now on, and it's just getting into like the Vatican and there's some, you know, big scandal going on. And it's just a spy kind of novel, but it loses me and allows me to picture who the characters are.

Now, once you've got that information, it's worthless until you poke it. And Ari Mizell, he's a mutual friend of ours through Joe Polish. He always used to say, get going, then get good.

And there's too many people that read all these books and go, right, well, I'm going to build some funnels. So I've got to read 30 books on funnels before I start. Try one. You learn way more through things going wrong than you do through reading them in a book. Because what worked for this guy may not work for you. You may have a different temperature, a different tonality, a different style. And so it may not work for you. So get going. Try it.

and then get good. Give you a final on that. You said about podcasts. I remember speaking to Jim quick and I said, look, I'm going to do this podcast now. You know, what do you think, Jim? You know, should I should I start doing a podcast? He was like, yeah, yeah, yeah, do it. And he introduced me to a friend of his. And I still to this day don't know what a friend did. But the guy turned around and said, that's a great idea. Do 16 podcasts before you upload them to Apple. 16 is the magic number.

call me before you put them up and I was like okay so I did 16 podcasts and I thought it must be the algorithm it's always the algorithms isn't it I thought it must be the algorithms there's got to be something what is magical 16 so I phoned him up and I went right I've done 16 podcasts he said great listen to every single one of them and ask yourself would you dare to release that

And so I started going through them and they were crap. And I guarantee you, Tommy, the first podcast you ever did, quite

quite frankly was compared to what they are now because we get better with experience so when i listened to these 16 podcasts we rescued four of them and i said to the guy to be honest with you i only like 40 went load them up and i went what about these algorithms he was like what algorithms if the podcast is don't release it and that was his advice so get going get experienced

And you can always go on there and delete it later. You ain't got to worry about it, but do that. And that rule of thumb should be based on your social feeds, on your Instagram, on your podcast, on building a business plan. Anything that's not attached to a nuclear warhead, just try it and go from there.

You know, this is probably the one common thing I think I've talked about on every stage. It's this idea of one day, one day, when it's right, one day, or it's today, day one.

Could today be day one? Why do you got to wait for that wedding before you start walking and deciding you're going to measure your, I wear this aura ring, measuring your steps or whatever it is. And everybody's got a reason why they can't, you know, after this, I'm going to do this after, you know, we're not ready for this yet. And I've always been the guy like, we're probably going to shit the bed. We might fail, but at least we're going to die trying.

And I think that that one quality is what changes people's lives. And it's never the right timing. There's not the right, you know, the kids and the wife or the husband, and it's just not the right time. And that's okay. But you learn more through failure than you do through success. I don't know who said it, but it was, I think, quoted by some Japanese guy that he said, the best time to plant an oak tree is 100 years ago or today.

So, you know, you said you're 41 years old tomorrow. You'll be 51. I've thought that forever. And so I don't wait. You know, if I'm sitting here and I go, oh, I really like that. I'm ordering it. I'm driving over to get. And Claire's like, what are you doing? Oh, I saw this. She's like, well, don't you want? No, I'm going to go and get the thing and see if it bloody works. And so that's always been my philosophy. We guarantee.

that we're going to die. We know we're going to die. As much as Peter D. Maness is out there saying we're going to live to 150, good on you. But at 151, you're out. Whatever. One day, you're going to die. I've got this feeling in me and this obligation that when I do die and your life flashes in front of you,

I wanted to have an intermission for just how busy it is, an intermission for popcorn. That's my dream. When I'm on my deathbed and my life flashes in front of me, there's an intermission because it was so packed. I had a health scare a few years back, and it was tough, but I had a conversation with my wife, and I went, you know, if it goes tits up and I go now,

i've lived 10 lifestyles you know lifetimes i've done that i've been out there i've got cut i've got bruised i've fallen down i've got the medals i've got the education so life is for living not for surviving ah that got goosebumps that's powerful

How many events have you, you've got your own events, you've been at a lot of other events, you've been to small intimate events, you've been to massive packed, you know, thousands of people. What would be your favorite event and why?

So I'm very picky. I never ever thought I would be a speaker. That's the first thing. You know, my whole premise, I'm not really that good with people. I don't like crowds. I don't like being mobbed. So I like to avoid too many people. But I always, and I'm very fortunate for this, is I've always questioned the audience.

Now, I came from a bricklaying background. I know what it's like to get wet, cut up, and people trying to scam you on the info. I know what that's like. So when I meet people and they're like, well, actually, this is a service industry that does this. But I'm like, that's my peeps. Those are my boys and girls. So I get really jazzed up when I'm actually talking to people that I can have something to do with. When I was younger, my dad and my granddad were always in pub fights, OK?

Therefore, I was in pub fights. But because I was a kid, I was always getting beaten up. I never knew how to fight. So I took up martial arts to actually learn how to fight so I could walk into a pub and quite simply annihilate it like a Jason Bourne movie and no one would be able to touch me. And something very funny happened when I learned how to fight. No one fought with you. When you walk into a bar and you've got that aura that says, look, I don't want to fight, but if I have to fight, I'm going to fight.

When you've got that all, yeah. When you're ready, people sit and they walk past and they look for the victim. In two weeks time, I'm actually speaking to, and I think it's something like about 200 dojo owners on the West Coast of America. Now, do I have anything in common with dojo owners? If it hadn't have been for them taking time to teach a kid how to defend himself and gain that confidence,

I don't know where I'd be today. So I'm really jazzed about going into that room and going, look, I want to help you because you don't realize it. What you do may be helping another one of me somewhere.

So I like to connect with the audience and to be able to do that. I had one gig that, and this was maybe like about seven years ago. And, you know, I'm not cheap. You know that I'm not cheap. And the gig was just not my people was absolutely just, I had nothing to do with these people whatsoever. So I was trying to be polite and they were like, oh, we really went. And I went, well, actually I doubled my rate.

I literally doubled my rate thinking to myself, that'll be it. They'll turn around and they'll go, well, we'd love to have you, Steve, but that's a little bit, the buggers paid for it. And I actually showed up

And I'll be honest with you, I had a horrible feeling. I had sold myself to people that couldn't action what I could teach them because they were in real parameters of what they were able to do. And I felt cheap. And so I always vowed that I would not even double in my rate if the audience doesn't work for me. And if I cannot help Joey, Billy, Bob, Susan, Mary, someone in that audience to become different and excel, I won't take that gig anymore.

You know, it reminds me, and I love that. That's a really good lesson. I got invited through the private equity company we're part of to come speak at their event. And it's something where they don't really ask you, they tell you. And so the story goes like this. They said, what are you going to wear when I got into Manhattan? And I was wearing this black shirt and a pair of slacks. And I said, this is what I brought. And they were like, well, you could get away with it. You're the founder.

And that morning I got up, I went to Nordstrom's, I got a purple jacket, white pants, and it was pretty outlandish. I just saw the mannequin. I said, give me that. And when got a haircut and I walk into there and this is the limited partners of a company that raised billions and billions of dollars. This is all the investors. They're all wearing black suits. They all got their laptops, not emotional, all black.

Really high IQ. It's financial engineering is what they're good at. They don't know blue collar. They don't understand what it's like to own a business. They're really, really powerful investors. And I look at the guys with my company and I said, what do you want me to talk about? And I'm watching these guys go up, financial, economy, macroeconomics, the conditions of the marketplace, inflation, what's happening in the micro markets. And I'm going, and Doug looks at me and says, whatever you want.

You have no slides. You don't have to do anything you don't want to do. Just get up there and tell stories for 10 minutes. And I'm like, shit, no one's applauding. No one's making eye contact. These are not my people. And so I go up there and I just, I'm like, guys, I'm not a professional speaker. I didn't get the memo to wear a black suit. I'm a blue collar guy. Didn't come from much.

And I'm really proud to be part of this company. And I made them laugh and I told them stories about my mom and I didn't have anything, just one slide that said A1 Garage Doors. And they actually stood and applause when I got off. I don't feel like my message necessarily resonated, but they liked that I was authentic. But I was like, it's so hard for me when there's an audience that I don't have anything to give. You know what I mean? I just, all I have is stories and I think stories do well.

But it was really awkward. They're like, you speak in front of way more people than 130 people. And I'm like, I can speak to 10,000 people that I resonate with without even thinking. But you get me in front of a small crowd of people that just don't appreciate maybe what I've been through or what I'm going through. It was just awkward.

It's a disconnect. It's a disconnect and there's no synergy. And you and I both know, because we do speak at that, you know, I've spoken at, I remember the smallest crowd I've ever spoken at. And I thought I should have checked the details. I flew up to Tesla and I had to speak there. And I thought, wow, there's got to be 12 of their directors. They had me speak at an event for 12. I walked into a room and there were like 12 people around and they were like,

When you're ready, Steve. And then I think the largest crowd I've spoken at is probably about 8,500. And so, but luckily the Tesla people and the large crowds, if I can make sure there's the synergy, you can feed off that energy. You can feed off the questions.

But when you're there and it's a disconnect, it's hurting you and you're doing a disservice. And again, come down to this time. We can all buy boats. We can all buy cars. We can all get a house, whatever.

But you can't buy time. It's not for sale on Amazon. It doesn't exist yet. So you've really got to value that above absolutely anything else. And don't sell you. That's the worst thing you can do. Sell you. That's why I've always been the guy in the black T-shirt. That's why I'm going to turn up at your event in the black jeans and the black T-shirt, because that's the way I've always been. And I don't want to be fake, artificial or flaky. I like that rule.

You know, I didn't think I could buy time until I really started working with Dan Martell that we talked about before this started. Yeah. You know, I thought it was shallow, and I'm a very humble person. I'm like, I don't need a driver, and I don't need a chef. I'm not lazy, and I know how to make my bed. And he said, do you enjoy it? Do you love driving? Do you enjoy cooking? And he goes, is it the money? And he goes, it's not the money because...

you're looking at it as dollar bills instead of percentages of your wealth. He goes, if you don't love it and it's not something you need to do, then don't do it. And that's it. And so now I get more hours back and he just, when we got off the phone, he said, your problem is you see opportunity in everything like me. And you feel like you're going to let people down and your word is your bond. And we talked about reprioritizing, renegotiating, and don't put 10 out of 10 effort in two out of 10 opportunities.

Just because you can doesn't mean you should. You're going to lose billions a year. You're going to lose billions. Not lose, but opportunities because you're only one person. And I think I've become at the highest echelon of delegation. But at the same time, a lot of people think they're going to become, they're buying into a friendship. And that's just not how I operate. A friendship means we like and get to know each other. We go have a beer together. We're going to hang out. And that's not always business. I try to match both.

But it's a lesson. And I wouldn't say I know you're a sponge. And I try to be a person that just there's certain podcasts I've been on that I'm like, I can't even air this. Like I'm trying to pull shit out that doesn't exist. And there's certain people I just I don't get along with everybody. And I don't know. It's a lesson that I'm going through. But at least I'm wise enough to know I'm the dumbest guy in the room. At least the rooms that I'm trying to hang out at.

And that's good. You know, look, there's the classic line. If you try to capture everyone, you capture nobody. Whenever I'm in a room, I try to have one conversation. There can be 200 people in that room. There can be 12 people in the room. I want one conversation to have made that night fruitful. And if I get to the point where I've been in there half hour, 40 minutes, and I haven't met that person, that's when I bail because my time is important. And if I leave anywhere, then it's got to be to be able to create impact. You're not being selfish, right?

Okay. Or maybe you are, but it's a good thing. You see, when you jump on a plane, the stewardess or the steward or whatever the correct thing is now.

Yeah, exactly. They never say stick on someone else first, do they? They say look after you first. You have to look after you. And if you can eliminate certain things that don't make you smile in order to give you 10 minutes to be able to focus on what does, then that's prioritizing your time. And that's smart and that's intelligent. I agree. I was on Grant Cardone's podcast recently.

I want to say months ago, and he asked me a pretty interesting question that I want to hear your insight on. I have my own view, and I feel like this could go both ways. What do you think is more important, marketing or sales, and why? Ooh, ooh.

You know, I would. Yeah, no, that is a good one, because let's be serious. No matter how good you are marketing, if you don't have any sales, you're still out of business. I would actually bring a third one in there. Marketing, sales or branding. And I think today branding is what people say about you when you're not in the conversation.

And so if you can establish a good brand, it makes conversions, it makes conversations, it makes marketing far easier. But if you've got a shitty brand and you're really good at marketing, then all you've been able to do is amplify a really shitty brand. So I would say branding comes before everything. And now I'll be focusing on the solution of who my target market is and therefore the sales. The marketing is just amplification.

I want Xavier to save this part. I'm going to send this to Dan Antonelli because he'll love this with what my buddy does branding. And I think that's so powerful. You know, I was talking to Dan earlier about the Kardashians. They didn't have a product to sell when they started. They were entertainment. And I just feel like being your genuine self, you know, there's these kids that watch people open presents. I mean, that's what they do. And I think so many people...

are so afraid. A story that, you know, Dan Martell, and I'm not trying to talk, I just got off the phone with him. That's why he's kind of top of mind is he's got a trainer and the trainer is supposedly like in the absolute best shape. He's got an eight pack, low, low body fat, looks absolutely incredible. And Dan said to him, well, why don't you take pictures of you with your shirt off and post them on social media?

And he goes, I'm not one of those douchebags. I'm not douchey like that. And he goes, well, who's that guy on the wall? He goes, oh, that's Arnold Schwarzenegger. He goes, yeah, I knew that. But why do you have him on the wall? He goes, well, I mean, without him, I followed in the footsteps. Like, he's just the god of working out. So he changed your life by in a bikini on stage, Mr. Olympia. And he goes, well, yeah. He goes, so wouldn't it be selfish to not post pictures of you and what you've accomplished?

Why would that be a of your hard work and dedication and to inspire other people? You gotta look at through it from a different lens.

Totally. You know, you don't know who you're impacting. I actually spoke at an event in Vegas this week and it was for that top producers of this real estate company. And I said to them, I said, look, you've just won an award and a certificate for being the top producers. What are you going to do with that? And there was a few people that I got, oh, you know, you know, I'll stick it in my drawer. So I'm like, post it, you know, get a picture of you getting it. Because if I want something, I want to know I'm dealing with the top person.

I want to know I'm dealing with the best of the best of the best. You know, when you're having heart surgery and you walk into two doctors, one's got a diploma, the other one's got nothing. Which room are you going back into? You want to go into somewhere where they've got proof that they know what they're doing. And someone that's working on their body should absolutely say, look, I look like this. I now look like this.

Let me help you do the same. You know, let me give you the chance to be the best version of you. 100% in today's world is not douchey. There's almost an obligation that you need to be able to look out there and go, hey, I'm the solution to your problem. I'm not trying to sell you. I'm your solution. And that's what you should be focusing on. Have you ever heard of a guy, Robert Cialdini, a psychologist? He wrote the book Influence and Persuasion.

He was in here two days ago and he's 80 or 79 years old guy, sharper than attack. And he taught me so many things and he's the biggest guy I've ever met into philanthropy. What's crazy to me is like, he lives in a small condo and he gives all of his money away, all of his money. Like he lives in this, the most modest lifestyle you could ever imagine and

And I was talking to somebody about two weeks ago and even nuns and Mother Teresa, there's got to be some type of selfishness, even if it's to get gratitude towards oneself to do stuff like that. I'm just I'm wondering, like, I'm not I'm big into philanthropy, nothing like Robert. And I'm not going to compare myself to people. But, you know, where do you think this.

This idea. I mean, I feel the gratitude. I feel the giving. I want to be a person that's known for a giver, a go giver, and just...

But also like, I like my house because it's experiences. And I live in a big house now because I had my dad's 70th birthday, my mom's 70th birthday, Bree's niece, third birthday. We create these, you can't put a price on experiences because I've also lived in a 800 square foot apartment for four years in the past five years. So I'm trying to understand from your perspective, like this idea of giving and philanthropy at the same time,

I don't know, you know, live your best life and be able to have freedom to do what you want when you want. And the money's a tool. It comes down to Dan Martell talking about the smiles and if it makes you happy and if it doesn't make you happy, don't do it. I'm a great believer. And you, you've actually proved that in the last amount of comments you've been making, you've not talked about money.

And whenever I've spoken to successful people, the more successful, powerful people, they don't look at the money. It's like if you bought a diet book. Now, I know you're on this mad and I've been watching the pictures and congratulations on you working on your body to get your body fat down and to get toned and get as healthy, best version you can get of yourself. But did you get that from buying the book?

Or did you get it from implementing the action steps to actually do the exercises? You see, you've got the body you wanted from putting the action in. If you want a big bank account, you don't get it by looking at the bank account. You get it by working on shit that gives you that bank account. And so I'm a great believer that money is a byproduct of what you do. And the only one that money matters to is

and this is probably why I get canceled, is poor people. You know, you walk up to Elton John and you offer him 10 grand, he's not gonna look at you, but you walk down the street and you offer someone 10 grand, they're gonna bend over and say, whenever you're ready. The bottom line of it is poor people focus on money, successful people focus on the emotions, the feedback, the experiences, the impact. That's what they focus on. I remember having a conversation with Elon Musk.

He's not a great, hey, what did you watch on TV last night? His first question, first question when I was in front of him was like, what are you working on and what's the impact it's going to create? That was his question. Bang, straight in. And I had to answer it and I was put on the spot. In today's world, and I remember actually reading up on Mother Teresa, she said there was nothing better than seeing the person die with a smile on their face.

knowing that she had put it there in the last moments. You know, for her, that was everything. This is your life. It's not a dress rehearsal. It's not up for review. You don't get any points on the way to the pearly gates as to how well or bad you did. You're dumb.

So you need to leave the lead the best life for you. And what can create that smile? What can help you? Is it donating to these charities? Is it going here? Is it supporting this? Whatever it is that makes you grin and smile, do more of so that you can go home in your big ass house because you earned it and get a good night's sleep so you can wake up in the morning and do it again. That's how it should be.

Let me ask you, I know you're... You know, I enjoy drinking. And that's a fact. I've just literally... I've done things I don't want to do. I've gotten up earlier than I like. I did legs yesterday to the point where I almost coughed up blood. Harder than I've ever worked out. And I've been doing things I don't want to do, but I'm not done drinking for the rest of my life. But I'm also not going to have those three-day bingers that I... I mean, I think...

At a certain point in my life, Steve, I can give you a run for your money. And what are your thoughts on that? Because I don't think you're ever going to be like, I'm giving up alcohol forever. Here's the funny thing that's going to actually make you smile here. We're actually now just going to dispel a myth. I love a good old fashioned. I love a well-made whiskey cocktail.

And I've done two speaking gigs. I went out for dinner last night with friends and we had a little family party here over the weekend. Many social occasions during that. I had three drinks.

You see, you get to a point where I like to wake up at 7 o'clock in the morning or 6.30 and see this. I like to walk around my home with my dogs. I don't want to be in a hangover. And you do get to an age where it hurts more and more and more. We're not 20 anymore. We can't get drunk one night, wake up in the morning and go out again the same night. I want to remember the day. I want to remember the actions. But...

That's where it comes down to the branding again. You know, people always see me black t-shirt motorbikes at an old fashioned in my hand. Trust me. I'm not having 10 or 15 drinks in a night. Maybe I'll have one, maybe on a wild night. I'll have two. And in fact, I think it was a couple of weeks ago. I had three and boy, did I know it? So I don't want to be that person anymore. So I'm very, very careful on why drink. I just like to have really, really good quality drinks.

in limitations. I love that. You know, if I had, you know, Wickman recently on the podcast, really smart guy, by the way, I owe a lot to Joe Polish. He is really put me under his wing and just for some reason, you know,

just treated me like almost like a kid, like a son. And just really just, he's always just this. So why do you do that? Let's pick on this for a minute because I want everyone that's listening because you're just about to reveal something that's probably the smartest thing that qualifies what we said earlier. Why do you think Joe puts so much into you? And I know about your friendship. And of course I know Joe as well. But I know about your connection. Why do you think he recognized and worked with you?

I think if I had to just off the cuff here, I think he was really big. He got put on the map in the 90s for the carpet.

And that's blue collar. And one of the things he always says to me is you, you do what you say you're going to do. You implement, you're not one of these guys. He goes, I've hang out with hundreds of people. They don't show up. They don't care. They're fake. They don't stand by their beliefs. They, they mold into a, and he just sees me. And when I say I do something, I do it and I show up for him. And I think we genuinely get along together. And I think he's probably met,

a thousand times more famous, richer people than me. But he just likes the fact I'm still me. He knows I'm still going to come in in this black shirt. I have

30 of these shirts and I didn't change. And he sees that I couldn't give you. And the fact that I listen and respect the hell out of him and the feelings mutual. And I try to help him in any way. The question, do you remember we said earlier, the successful people will answer your questions when they can see you're going to action and implement it. And you just answered it yourself. Joe knows full well where you come from, where you go and what you're trying to do and who you're trying to help. And he knows that if he says a B and then do C, he

He knows you're going to follow that formula. And again, it's not a waste of his time, effort and energy. You've now become proof in the pudding that if you follow what you say you're going to do and what's being taught to you, then the effects and benefits going to come. You are a perfect poster child for people doing the implementation from the people I said earlier, successful people. And that's why Joe is so happy to give you his time. Yeah.

Well, I love Joe. And he texted me a couple of days ago. And if you go in his house, he's got these cars that he literally cut apart and put them on a wall, like this old Oldsmobile. And he knows I'm building a pretty cool garage. And he goes, listen, do you want these? And I said, hell yeah, I want these. He goes, they're heavy as hell. You got to figure out a mover. But he does these things, these random acts of kindness, right?

without any wanting anything in return you know what i mean it's it's yeah part of his 100k group or whatever but and it's not like i don't know like i've talked to some people i'm not going to go into names that have been part of his group that are like i've done my tour i've paid back the dues and it's like i don't feel that way i don't feel that way with my relationships of like hey you

Steve, you did this for me. I owe you one. I paid back my dues and now I can move on. You know what I mean? It's like, it's not that feeling for me. It's like, I want real relationships and I don't need a lot of them. I want genuine, real people that I enjoy life with. And you know, he talks about elf, easy, lucrative, and fun. Yeah. And, uh, and I always have this test of when my phone rings, am I excited about it or not? And that's a really good indication of what

is easy, lucrative, and fun. And that time energy or time attention, what is it? Time attention and money, whatever he talks about. It's just, it's life lessons. And he tells me these stories when we're together. And it's just me and him about the people that you seem to look at and admire the most are the most miserable. And they live this lie.

And he goes, Tommy, I've seen this more times than I could count where there's this persona about these people. But yet, and he's got a lot of very confidential things he's never shared with me about the people that look the happiest have addiction problems.

And their lives aren't what you perceive them to be. And they're going through a lot. It could be, you know, porn and sex. It could be drugs. It could be a lot. It could be alcohol. It could be a lot of things that people don't realize what's going on. I would just say when you're picking a mentor, find people who have been where you want to go that generally live the life when nobody's watching that you want to live. And it's really hard to kind of figure that out through Facebook and Instagram and TikTok.

Oh, you need to ask questions. Joe is without a doubt, a weird fella. He could make way more money, but he's got to that point where that's not what's important to him. It's impact. He truly fricking cares. He showed, I don't want to be too nice about Joe. It'll only go to his head and, you know, he can get a bit full of himself sometimes, but, uh,

He's the OG of caring. And he really has done so much for me. He's done so much for so many people I know. And I will defend if I ever hear someone have a bad word to say against him because that's not Joe. That's maybe what you've heard from a competitor or someone trying to shit on him. But Joe is a seriously solid man.

Life gives to the giver. And I've never seen that more than him. And he lives a good life, but you're right. He could make more money and he doesn't choose the easy road. And I appreciate that as well.

Tell me a little bit about the difference when you wrote Blue Fishing. Where was your mindset? I know we've only got 10 minutes here. If you could keep going. All right. I'll make it really quick. So Blue Fishing was a joke and that should be said straight off the bat. I never thought I'd write a book. Someone introduced me to someone. We were at a party. I told him a story about me and Andre Bocelli. They said, well, you should write a book.

A week later, with the help of Tucker Max, I actually had a contract from Simon & Schuster giving me the first right of refusal for me to write a book.

Now, I didn't think anyone was going to read it. And I actually went down and saw Jay Abraham, who helped go through what we were going to do. And I went to Simon & Schuster. And if anyone's ever done a published book, there's all these little boxes. And if I didn't do this, I got paid more money. If I gave up the rights of that, I got paid more money. If I did this, then I got greater residuals. But if I didn't want the residuals, I got upfront this.

I didn't think anyone would buy my book. So I front loaded the hell out of this thing. And I got paid a very, very nice lump sum. I don't own the content. I don't own any of that kind of stuff. Had I not done that, hey, I'd have been five times better off from that first book. But I thought to myself, now that I've got paid,

I don't care if anyone buys it. I can write the book I want to write. I can say what I want to say. I don't want to catch everyone. I want to catch someone. I want to be able to talk to that one person that's daring to do something different.

When it came out, I thought to myself, well, maybe we'll sell 10 copies, you know, and it just flew out. It got released in different languages, different countries, became bestsellers. All of a sudden, can you speak at Harvard? Can you speak at, it just went crazy. Now you've read it. There's no rocket science in it. It's basic, simple, impactful stuff that can help you generate a worthwhile relationship.

And it did really, really well for me. Skyrocketed me. And I thought to myself, well, that's good, but I'm never writing another book again in my life. And you've read a book, so you know exactly what it's like.

but then covid came across and i got pissed off at how many people were hiding behind excuses there were all these people going oh covert's here i can't go for a drink i can't go to the i can't go to the gym when that fat ass wasn't going to the gym before covet it was the period of excuses so out of anger and annoyance i started blogging i started writing and um coming up with examples of how stupid we are

And I ended up kind of like researching it and putting it into a book. And I went through how you can convert your eyes to see opportunity rather than pain. And like you said earlier, you read the Wall Street Journal because it's got great opportunities. It's not negative. As an entrepreneur, if we can change and adapt and edit constantly the algorithms in our head only to see possibility, positivity, and opportunity, then guess what's the only thing we see?

And it doesn't matter if it's raining. If it's raining, great. I'll start selling rain jackets and umbrellas. If it's sunny, great. Sun cream and ice cream. You know, we see opportunity and possibility. So when the two books came out, one of them was a joke.

that I wrote for me thinking it wouldn't sell. It did. The second one, I wanted to attack people. I wanted to change them and help get that algorithm to work positively. And it's done very well for me. It only came out in October, but it's been doing really well. I love it. And Steve, to close us out, and this has been, I love it when it's a conversation. This is like the best podcast. I didn't

I didn't go through any of my questions, by the way. I had stuff I just wanted to pick your brain. Well, I know when I don't look at those questions, it's a great podcast. You're going to be coming. You know, one of the things I really pride myself on is the home service, the blue tray, blue collar. Some of us didn't have parents growing up. Some of us never were taught financial life.

independence. Some of us never knew how to balance a checkbook. You know, it wasn't easy. I think right now it's the blue collar's time. AI is not replacing the guy fixing your furnace. AI is not going to have a guy doing bricks. Everyone's taking us serious now. Everyone's like, we were essential during COVID. I think it's our time. And we're very passionate about changing lives in the blue collar space.

And you're going to be speaking at this Freedom event. And I can't tell you, like, I don't want people to come if they're looking just to see a cool speaker. I want impact. That's what we've been talking a lot about. I want people to do what they want with their lives and not be a prisoner in their own body. I really, it's not all mindset. It's not all tactical. It's a combination of everything. Talk to us a little bit about what you're going to be bringing to this event. It's September 25th.

It's in San Diego. It's called a freedom event. And you were the first. I really, really am glad you took this on. And I think these are going to be your people. I'm damn sure that my people aren't there to disrupt them and get them doing what they what they know that they can do what they never thought they could. I'm going to be focused on branding. I'm going to be focusing identity. I'm not going to be focusing on anything complicated. You know, if a bricklayer from London can be doing this.

then you're already out of excuses. But I'm going to be focusing on your mindset to be able to focus on you being the difference in great marketing and the solution that person needs. I want you to have less conversations and more conversions. I want you to be able to make choices. I want you, in essence, to have that freedom.

And if you follow what we're going to run through, not only with me, but with you and the other speakers that are there, you'll be able to take that out. And the only one that's going to be responsible for you not being more successful after that event, quite simply, is you.

So come here, get your notepad. Hey, look, I don't run away. So if you want to tap me on the shoulder while I'm walking through the bar or something like that and go, Hey, I need you to ask me a question. And sure. Shit. All of the old fashioned. And I'll answer your question. I want you to be the best possible version of you. I love it. Steve, you're an amazing guy. I definitely want to get to know you more. I, uh,

I'm really excited just the fact that you're doing this. I think we're going to have a blast. So you live in LA? I do live in LA. I travel too much, but yeah, I reside up here in the hills. And the funny thing is when I come home, I've got a lovely gate and a long driveway and

I won't leave the house for like seven days, you know, because I'm done with seeing people. And if I do go out, I'll go for a ride on my motorbike where no one can talk to me or phone me, come back in the garage, and I could almost weld the garage door shut. But yeah, I live up here and I hide. Awesome. Well, it's an honor to have you. Thank you for taking the time to do this today. You are just amazing.

an inspiration for me and a lot of the people that are listening. So thank you again. And I'm looking forward to seeing you in person. See your freedom. All right, my friend. Thank you.

Hey there, thanks for tuning into the podcast today. Before I let you go, I want to let everybody know that Elevate is out and ready to buy. I can share with you how I attracted a winning team of over 700 employees in over 20 states. The insights in this book are powerful and can be applied to any business or organization. It's a real game changer for anyone looking to build and develop a high-performing team like over here at A1 Garage Door Service. So if you want to learn the secrets that helped me transfer my team from stealing the toilet paper...

to a group of 700 plus employees rowing in the same direction, head over to elevateandwin.com forward slash podcast and grab a copy of the book. Thanks again for listening and we'll catch up with you next time on the podcast.