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Welcome to the Moth Podcast. I'm Larry Rosen, Master Instructor of the Moth, and your host for this Independence Day episode. The term "the American Dream" is often attributed to author and historian James Truslow Adams. Adams spoke of a nation in which every person can first attain to the fullest stature of which they are innately capable.
and second, be recognized by others for what they are. In this episode, we hear from someone who worked to achieve both of those aims. Juan Rodriguez told this story at a Moth main stage in 2015, with the theme of the night was "Don't Look Back: Stories from the Teenage Years." Here's Juan, live at the Moth. Sitting outside this house in Nuevo Laredo, Mexico, I was feeling tired, I was sweaty.
but most of anything I was really hungry. I mean, I've been on the bus for 18 hours. But I was there, I was excited. A few blocks down is the USA, the land of plenty, the land of dreams that I hear so much about. So my dad came out of the house, still talking to this lady. I didn't know what they were talking about, I was only 15 years old. My dad comes to me and says, "We have a deal. She's going to bring you across the border for $50."
I said, "Great, let's do it. That's what we're here for." So he said, "Give me more instructions." He said, "Just get on the truck and don't say anything." So I did. Got on the lady's truck, sit down. We drove up to the bridge. Thirty minutes later, I'd reunited my family and I had my first hamburger at McDonald's in the other side of the border, Laredo, Texas. So summer was over. I went to high school.
I remember that day like if it was yesterday, you know, my first day working in, I mean walking in high school, walking on the hallways. It was, I was living the dream, feeling all cool, you know, like it was like being on all those movies that I love so much, like Teen Wolf and Pretty in Pink. I wanted to be her boyfriend, but I don't know. All these movies made me dream.
Made me dream the American dream and being there. I thought okay. This is it. I'm here I made it after this everything is gonna be easy, right? So I wanted to play basketball because I love basketball back in Mexico I used to play basketball all the time just playing it made me forgot about being hungry about being depressed So I got a little good at it in high school. I wanted to try out I went to the coach and told him that you know, I think I'm pretty good I don't know what you think he said. Yeah, you can try it out. I
I just need a physical from you." I said, "Okay, I don't see a problem." I went to my dad. He asked him, "Dad, I want to play basketball. Can..." He said, "No, you can't because you're illegal. You don't have Medicaid." I said, "But dad, the physical is only like $25." But he still said no. So I forgot about basketball because that wasn't going to happen. Next in line, it was art. I've always been good at art, just drawing stuff.
But I couldn't fit in. It was getting really hard to fit in. They have a little art club where I tried to get in, but I couldn't because my English wasn't good. So I said, "Okay, that's fine." At that moment, I started to feel like these words, you know, not having the green card was going to define who I am, who I was at that moment. So I got a little scared, but I said, "Okay, you know, it's going to take a little work. It's going to take a... We'll be fine."
So one time I got into a fight with this guy because he called me a wetbag and made fun of my accent. And I was really upset that day. So later that day, it was a Tuesday, I remember pretty well, I stayed after school with Mrs. Cordero, which she's beautiful, so it was really easy to stay after school. So there I am sitting on Mrs. Cordero's class and she asked me, "What's wrong, Juan? You look tense, you look tired, you look sad. What's going on?" I explained the situation to her.
what just happened earlier and she said oh don't worry about those kind of people to those kind of people the worst kind of wetback is the educated wetback you just got to focus on your education because that's the key that's what's going to take you places so i said okay let's get to work we started practicing my abcs my vowels and it was hard work after that years and years i mean four years nine years and years but four years you know sleepless nights
with my Spanish-English dictionary translating the most simple of assignments. But I made it. I made it to graduation night. But let me tell you about graduation night. It was magical. It was like having these lights upon me when they say, "Juan Rodriguez." I felt like I won an Emmy, you know? Just walking all cool, feeling like this is it, you know? I'm living the dream. I'm a big accomplishment.
This is it. I was just, that night was magical. I couldn't get enough of it. Then I came to an end and then I got slapped in the face. Slapped in the face by reality. Reality that I couldn't go to college. And later that year, I was accepted to Chicago Art Institute because I was such a good student and I was good at art. But that night that was so magical ended up really sad for me.
So college didn't happen. I said, "No problem, let's move on." My next option was Denver, Colorado. I went to Denver. A friend of mine had a job for me, you know, a job that would pay me $7 an hour, which is not much, but when you come from nothing, that was a lot to me. That was amazing. So I worked at this packaging factory with a lot of people, a lot of Asian people, Mexican people that didn't speak any English. I raced to the top real quick.
supervising manager and but there was something was missing something something wasn't right I mean I spent four years of my life working so hard I think I can do a better a little better than this so uh one afternoon sitting on my apartment balcony I was reading this newspaper thinking you know if I want something better I go I better go out there and look for it it's not coming up it's not gonna come and knock on my door so I was reading to the newspaper and
And while I was reading through it, I saw this ad. It said, you know, we need machine operators, you know, to operate this high-tech machinery to make airbag inflators. That sounded good to me. I like robots. I like technology. So it was awesome.
And right at the bottom it said, "High school diploma preferred." So that, that spoke to me, you know, like I could hear Mrs. Cordero's voice on the back saying, "This is what we've been working for. This is you. This is your opportunity." And I remember, you know, all the cards that they gave me on graduation night saying what a great student I was and some of them even gave me money.
So I said, "Okay, this feels good. I gotta give it a try. I gotta give it a try." Called the guy. He answered the phone. First thing he said, "Do you have a high school diploma?" I said, "Well, yes, I do." "Okay, you have a job. Come and see me tomorrow." I said, "Good." I had mentioned it to my dad, and he said, "No, you can't. You shouldn't do this." I said, "Why not?" He said, "Because you're illegal."
He's gonna check your green card, your fake green card, and he's gonna say that it's fake and you might even get deported. At that moment, it just struck pain in my heart again. I felt like, is this who I am? I mean, not having this green card, these words, wet bag, illegal, that's what defines me. That's what defines who I am. I said, I don't know. I just sit down helpless on my couch. I took a moment and I saw the picture of
on my coffee table, imaginary coffee table. I picture my high school diploma and my fake green card. And I sort of try to balance it with which one's got more power, which one defines me more. And then when I looked at my high school diploma, once again, Mrs. Cordero was talking on my ear. Saying, Juan, this is it. This is you. That diploma is you because you worked so hard for it. Because you want to be this person.
but also have fear on my other side. You know, my dad telling me, "No, you can't." I'm not, I have nothing against my dad. I love my dad. Maybe he was just being protective because the danger is real. It was real. I could have gotten deported. So, uh, but at the same time, I feel like by protecting me too much, he was holding me down. Just let me do this. Next day, I didn't go to the interview. I didn't call the guy. I was just depressed working on my packaging factory again.
trying to speak Vietnamese with some guys. But something wasn't right. I had this thing on my heart that I couldn't let go of. Next day, I called a guy. He said, why are you lying to me? I said, what do you mean? He said, yeah, you lied to me about your high school diploma. I said, no, I have my high school diploma. Well, then come and see me. At that moment, I made a decision. I went and did my own decision, tried to define who I am, and I let this green card define who I am.
So I didn't say anything to nobody. I just run down the street, I mean down the stairs, grab the keys to my car and went off. I walked into the office feeling nervous because I knew I had a fake green card on me and my high school diploma that was like a shield. And the guy is like, nice to meet you. Yeah, nice to meet you. Do you have a high school diploma?
I said, yes, I do. I showed it to him real proud because I was proud of who I am. And he said, do you have a green card? Are you a citizen or something? I said, I do have a green card. Sort of nervous. I do have a green card. He said, okay. Just grabbed it. Didn't even look at it. Gave it to his secretary and said, here, make a copy of this. But come, come, Juan. Tell me more about you. What kind of books do you like to read? How was high school for you?
In that moment I feel so good. I feel like I've accomplished something once more. But I still had this little pain in my heart. Knowing that something wasn't right. Here I am. I've been living illegally in this country for 22 years. If you run into me on the street, you will never guess I'm illegal. Why? Because I'm a normal person. I'm a parent. I have three kids. Two girls, one boy. I have a job. I pay taxes. Just like everybody else pays taxes, right?
So, you know, it's been hard being defined by that, but by not having my green card, like those words, illegal, immigrant, feeling like you don't deserve what you have. But I'm tired of living in fear. I'm tired of being afraid, you know. I guess standing here today, tonight, is to prove to myself that I'm not afraid anymore. That was Juan Rodriguez.
Juan was born in Zacatecas, Mexico. In 1992, he came across the river to Laredo, Texas. After graduating high school, Juan moved to Colorado and there in 2018 started a plumbing business. In April 2021, Juan became a legal resident of the United States. He lives happily in Denver with his three kids, Natalia, Anastasia, and Alan.
We first came across one on Radio Diaries. Radio Diaries is an incredible organization that works with people by giving them recording equipment and helping them record and share their own stories. You should check out Radio Diaries wherever you get your podcasts. To close the episode, we'll leave you with these words from the architect and designer Maya Lin. Maya Lin said, to me,
The American dream is being able to follow your own personal calling. To be able to do what you want to do is incredible freedom. From everyone here at The Moth, we wish you a happy 4th.
Larry Rosen is a master instructor at The Moth. After 25 years teaching, directing, and practicing theater and comedy performance, Larry discovered the simplicity, power, and beauty of true stories. Shortly thereafter, he found The Moth. As they say, timing is everything. Juan Rodriguez's story was directed by Catherine McCarthy.
This episode of the Moth Podcast was produced by Sarah Austin Janess, Sarah Jane Johnson, and me, Mark Sollinger. The rest of the Moth's leadership team includes Sarah Haberman, Jennifer Hickson, Meg Bowles, Kate Tellers, Marina Cloutier, Suzanne Rust, Brandon Grant, Leanne Gulley, and Aldi Cosa. All Moth stories are true, as remembered by the storytellers. For more about our podcast, information on pitching your own story, and everything else, go to our website, themoth.org.
The Moth Podcast is presented by PRX, the public radio exchange, helping make public radio more public at PRX.org.
