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You're listening to part two of my incredible conversation with Ed Milet, the world's greatest motivational speaker. If you haven't yet listened to part one, be sure to check that one out first. Without further ado, here's part two with the amazing Ed Milet.
You grew up as an athlete and thought you were going to be a professional baseball player. And that's sort of what the other people around you thought you were going to do. You were a great player in high school. When you graduated, you went to the University of Pacific in Stockton, California. You played NCAA Division I baseball as a member of the Pacific Tigers from 1990 to 1993. You wore number eight and you killed it there and still rank among the greatest players in the program's history, which started back in 1945. And here are a few stats. You're tied for second in all-time steals with 75.
You're tied with the all-time lead in walks with 116. In 1991, you posted a perfect fielding percentage when you didn't commit a single error in 53 games. You played in 191 games in total, the most all-time. And you had 194 hits in total, eighth all-time. As a junior in 1992, you hit .355 and .138 at-bats, their highest batting average ever in a single season, a batting average that's higher
And Luis Ariza, the Minnesota Twins, who leads Major League Baseball with a .348 batting average. Baseball was your dream. It was what you were good at, and that it was really all you ever thought you were going to do. But you had a really catastrophic injury. You got hit with a pitch, and it formed a tumor in your right calf. The doctors had to remove a small part of your leg to remove the tumor, which they did. And then you went back and played again. The tumor grew back. You had it removed again, and then you went back to play it again. You weren't as good when you went back, but you still could play.
Then it grew back a third time, and they removed it again. Part of it's still in your calf 30 years later, because if they took any more of it out, it would make your leg not even. And thankfully, the tumors were not cancerous. But your baseball career is over at this point. You're 22 years old. You're crushed and depressed because your childhood dream, the one you had since you were a little kid and had worked your ass off, was over. You ended up moving back home with your mom and dad, unemployed, living in a house with
living in the same bedroom with the same teddy bear posters on the wall that were there when you were a kid. You spend your entire day in your room watching Maury Povich and the Jerry Springer show. We're going to talk about your first job next, but before we do, I want to freeze frame it here. We've all had our dreams crushed and have been depressed when that happens, so much so that it's hard for us to function and even leave the house or go to work or even talk on the phone. I have a saying that sometimes our greatest disappointments lead to the best opportunities. You have a saying that
things in life happen for you, not to you. When we experience profound or devastating disappointments in our lives, it could be a divorce, getting fired, getting sick with cancer, or the death of a loved one, what's your advice for getting over them? Great question. First, the mistake I made as a young man, which is what many people make, is I tied my identity to what I did, not who I was.
I tied it to my achievements. I tied it to baseball. And I watched many, many people. Their identity is I have an MBA. Their identity is I'm in venture capital. Their identity is my son is this great baseball player. My identity is I'm a great athlete instead of who they are. And it's a devastating way to live your life, to go through life with your identity tied to your achievements and what you do, because that's very frail. It's very fragile. After that lesson, I've tied my identity to who I am. And so
That's made a really major difference for me in my life. I just will never do that again. I will tell you that everyone's had that experience where one dream ends and you've got to build another one. In the book, I talk about becoming an impossibility thinker.
and a possibility achiever. In life, there's two types of people. 99 out of 100 people operate out of their history and their memory. When you're a child, you're happier than when you're an adult, typically, oftentimes. Why? Because you have no history and memory. You're forced to operate out of your imagination and your dreams. Only 1% of adults do it. Once they get a history and a memory, they begin to operate out of a pattern of thinking that's history and memory-based, as opposed to vision and dreams. 1%, you know this,
Listen, how do you hear the analogy? You are the five people you hang around, right? Okay. How do I even know if they're any good or are they toxic? Yeah, they should go. But how do you know you've got a peer group that serves you? Really simple. Does your peer group operate out of history and memory or out of vision and dreams? When you're around your friends, let's just be real. Most of them are probably going, you remember, remember this, remember that, remember that concert, remember that, remember, remember, remember that round of golf, remember that meeting, remember when you, remember.
Remember? And they're always in memory mode with you, aren't they? And you're going right now going, God, we do do a lot of that. You have a peer group that's history and memory. My peer group, I have a few of those. My peer group, most of them have incredible histories and memories.
that they could talk about all the time, but that isn't what we do. It's usually, what do you got going right now? What do you focus on? What's your vision? What's the next play? Where are we heading? What are you doing about it right now? They hold me to a different standard. I want to have people around me who have expectations of me that are beyond where I currently am, not constantly reminiscing about the past. So that's one way to make a shift in your life is to evaluate whether you're in history and memory or imagination and vision. Want to be a better father or mother? Lead your family.
by talking often about the future. I've told my kids, I just had my kids on my podcast, it'll be out in a few weeks. Hey guys, we're gonna do something awesome as a family. They're like rolling their eyes. All right, dad. I'm like, no, I'm telling you. Max, you're a gladiator. You're a champion. Bella, you're a superstar.
This family's going to do something awesome. They're like, all right, daddy, but I am getting our family into imagination. What do we want to do? Who do we want to help? My book came out. My kids are like, daddy, there was this shooting in Texas. What if we absolutely gave every profit from the book away to the Uvalde families from the book? I go, I love that idea. And then my son goes, dad, what if we doubled it as a family? And so...
My book's the number one selling book in the world for a lot of reasons, but one of them is all the money's going to those families. That was out of imagination of my kids, as opposed to me going, hey, we're number one on the Wall Street Journalist, guys. Let's celebrate. Yay, what a memory. We don't do that. The last part I'll tell you, I want to talk about ironic. So I got home from college, flunked out. I graduated, but flunked out of baseball. I'm watching Maury Povich and Jerry Springer. Randy, fast forward to last week.
30 some odd years later. I'm shooting a new show I can't talk a lot about, but I'll just call it Change with Ed Milet. It'll be out the end of August and beginning of September on all streaming platforms. Do you know where I shot that show?
In the same studio? A shot in Maury and Jerry's studio. The same studio where I watched all those shows back in the day. Those guys share a studio. It's now my studio for my show. You talk about unbelievable the way life can come full circle. From my teddy bears on my bed watching Jerry Springer and Maury Povich to me now doing my own show in their studio. The same studio I was watching it from. It's incredible.
Let's talk about your amazing career, and we'll start with your first job. You graduate from the University of Pacific with a degree in communications. When the baseball thing doesn't work out, you move back home. You're sitting at home, depressed, unemployed, and your dad was going to meetings every day. And he comes home and he says to you, I got you a job. You say, what is it? He said, you don't get to pick because you're eating out of my fridge and you're showing up tomorrow morning at the Sandimas McGinley Home for Boys. It's a giant campus of group homes for boys who are awards of the court live.
kids who are either orphaned, removed from their families because they had been molested or were there because their dad had been killed. Your dad told you you'd be making $6 per hour and you were going to get your butt there at 6 a.m. And you say, okay, dad, let's do it. So as you're driving down there to Curzio, you don't even know who had hired you or what the job was. You get there, you found out it was a guy named Tim who had been in meetings with your dad. You basically check in a minute after that, you walked in, saw all these kids were getting ready for school and they turned around and looked at you. You're 22 years old and you're there and suddenly you're the big brother, best
best friend, father to 12, 8 to 10-year-old boys. You're taking them and picking them up from school, play with them every day, talking to them about their problems, taking them trick-or-treating and spending holidays with them, which meant being there on Thanksgiving when their uncle would stand them up. Most of these kids were never going to live in another home or were going to be there until they were 18 years old. 30 years later, you're still in touch with two-thirds of them, but your first year there, you're
Your life changed forever. What did you learn there? And how did it transform you from a cocky, ego-driven athlete and help you make $100 million? And what do these kids have in common with the famous all-star athletes that you coach, the people that run countries that you work with, and the famous people we see you golfing with on social media? My boys, when I walked in there, I realized one thing. They have these eyes just like I have. And those eyes just say, hey, love me, care about me, believe in me, and show me how to do better. That's it.
I started my business career there. And when I went into business, I went, you know what the bottom line is? Every single human being, the best athlete of all time, you and I played golf with guys I've known for years that are super great athletes. You know what those guys want? Someone to love them, care about them, believe in them and show them how to live better. And all I've done in all my businesses, all my life, from my podcast to my books, to all of my companies is absolutely try to love people, care about people, believe in them. And in my way with my product, my service, my company,
My message, my information, show them how to live better. Those boys taught me that. And hundreds of millions of dollars later and millions of lives changed because of those precious boys in that lesson.
I want to talk about dreams. In 1985, Jim Carrey was an actor struggling to pay his rent. And one day he wrote himself a check for $10 million for acting services rendered. He did it at 10 years in the future and kept it in his wallet. 10 years later, in November 1995, he found out he was cast in the movie Dumb and Dumber and his paycheck was $10 million. When I was 16 years old, I'd go into the Porsche dealership twice a year and sit in a 911 and tell myself one day I was going to buy one. 15 years later, after a company went public, I bought one. After
After three years at McKinley, you went to work at World Financial Group. When you started, you were completely broke. You and your wife, Christiana, were newlyweds. You lost your house when the bank foreclosed on it to make ends meet. Christiana had to quit nursing school and get a job. She found one as an assistant at a credit repair place. And shortly after she started, goes down to drive to work and her car is stolen. But actually, it wasn't stolen. It was repoed.
Three days after that, you had your power turned off and then came something worse. Your water was turned off, which meant no cooking and no showering. So you and Christiana would go down to the pool at your apartment complex and shower in the freezing cold water. There was no shower door. So you would literally have to hold up a towel while she was in the shower. You went a month with no water, three months with no power. It was embarrassing. You were ashamed. You were living a nightmare. But you'd have to go out at work and pretend you'd be successful and sell a dream to people. At one point, you didn't even have a cell phone.
There are times you went to the money machine and you prayed you had $21 in the bank because the money would only spit out 20s. But even though you're completely broke, you and Christiana would walk on the beach and see these beautiful beachfront homes and tell yourself that one day you would have one. Can you tell us about the contest you had set up for yourself, flipping your keys to the valet and the $4 tips to the doorman? And as part of this, how important is it to actually step into your dreams and to actually experience them? Your mind moves towards what it's most familiar with. And
And so back in those days, I would still go dream. We'd look at houses and say, babe, I'm going to get us one of those someday. And I made these agreements with myself. I want people to begin to touch their dreams. And by the way, that could be that you want to have a charity you start. And once a week, eventually you serve in your church or your charity. It might not be a house or a jet or whatever. But what I would do is I'd set up these little contests with myself. I'd say, babe, if I make X, Y, Z this month, or I make this many sales, we'll take one day, just one day because we couldn't afford it.
we'll go to the Ritz-Carlton for a night, which we'd never been in a Ritz-Carlton. I've never given my keys to a valet. I've never stayed anywhere. I've never had a great steak. I never went on vacation as a kid. And so I would, if I didn't hit the numbers, we wouldn't go. But if I did hit it, we go, Hey babe, Ritz-Carlton, get the cheap room, get the deal. And me and my little bride, we drive down there. I hit my 10 sales that month. I made my 7,000 bucks, whatever it was. And we take 500 bucks, man. We'd get a room. This is back in the day where you could do it.
at this number. We'd get a room. She'd go get a massage. I'd go play golf and meet a bunch of rich guys and see what they thought about. We'd have a bottle of wine and a nice steak that night and dream. And just for a day, we'd touch our dream. And then maybe a month later, I'd do it again and we'd go to the La Quinta Resort. Maybe a month later, we'd do it again. We'd go back to the Ritz-Carlton. All of a sudden, after about six, eight, nine months of that, you start going,
I belong here because you belong in your dreams and your mind moves towards what's your most moving. So now that I've had these little doses, I'm like, I want more of this. And over time, then I'd start looking at houses. I'd say, babe, there's an open house. Let's just walk up and say, no, no, no, they'll know we can't afford to go. Nah, nah, nah, nah. Let's go up there. Let's walk around. Just, you know, let's kind of brush our teeth and brush our hair and walk in there like we know what we're doing. And I'd see these houses and we would dream. And the more I was in those environments and around those people in these places,
I started to believe I belong there because your mind moves towards what it's most familiar with. And I think you need to touch your dreams because the more you touch and the more familiar you become, the more you gravitate towards them.
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Let's talk about the haters, the people who tell you that your idea is stupid, that your goals are unattainable, or that you're crazy even to try something. When you do try it, they root for you to fail. When you become successful, they talk behind your back and say that you got lucky, and they sit there eagerly waiting for you to have a hair out of place or act like an asshole so they can find a bigger group of people to talk shit about you. What's your advice to those that hear this kind of talk and get down from it? Or it gives them pause to try something or pursue their dreams. And what should we really take away from the haters?
Take nothing from them. You will almost never in your life be criticized by somebody that's doing more than you. Almost never. Most of your critics and haters are people that are doing less than you, trying to be less than you, and they want to project their limiting beliefs, small thinking, small life onto you. Because if you're successful, it's going to make them look worse. And so I'd feel sympathy for them. And I've had to learn this because I'm a real sensitive dude. So are you. You and I, one thing most people wouldn't know about both of us is we're sensitive people. It hurts our feelings when people don't like us. Maybe even more.
I think a lot of people you and I know that are successful have that kind of ruthless, just, I don't give a crap. Neither you nor I have that, Randy, and you know, we're both sensitive people. So I had to learn, wait a minute, who is this? It's never someone doing way better than me. It's always someone doing worse or the same and someone afraid I'm going to leave where they are and make them look bad. And then sometimes they're not haters.
Sometimes it's just actually people who love you who are truly concerned. Like my dad, when I got into being an entrepreneur, was really worried. He wasn't hating, but what he was doing was he was projecting his own small thinking and limiting beliefs onto me. And oftentimes you have to delineate between, is this someone who truly loves me that's just really concerned and they just don't have the capacity and the ability to
project something big in their life, or is this someone detrimental? And the last thing I'll say is never take advice from someone who's not successful in the area you're getting the advice in. So maybe you have a relative who's in super great shape, but they're broke. Don't take financial advice from them. Take fitness advice from them. So never take advice from someone who's not successful in the exact area you're seeking the advice from.
I want to talk about the importance of being a good and effective communicator, which you talk about in the chapter of your book titled One More Inconvenience. You're an amazing speaker. You've spoken in front of 50,000 people before and have a passion for it. And in a recent survey, you ranked the number one speaker alive. But it wasn't always that way. Even though you took a public speaking and drama class in college, public speaking was one of your greatest fears. You were afraid to speak in public or even speak in private. Three people in a room would be hard for you. Early on, when you're trying to give a speech, you were so freaked out that your vision became blurry.
You couldn't even read what was on your card. You blanked out. As we already talked about, one of your favorite books is Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill. And he says that on the other side of that temporary pain, you meet your different self. You did meet that person. Eventually, you became an amazing public speaker. We're going to talk about the value of preparation. And the second time you went up to give a speech in a minute. But before we do, can you tell us about the comedy clubs you went to and the preachers on TV and how you made it a point to go against conventional wisdom and not study traditional public speakers?
And in our search of excellence, how important is public speaking in our careers? And what should we be doing to get good or even better, great at it? The communication part of life is maybe the most important ability that you have is your ability to persuade people. I did not study traditional public speakers. I didn't want to be traditional. What I did study is a lot of pastors. I studied a lot of evangelical type speakers and I watched comedians. The best public speakers in the world are comedians. And what they do that's special is they use silence. They're comfortable in silence. They're comfortable with the...
My Sebastian Maniscalco is a friend of mine, comedian. And he said to me one time, he said that, you know, the funny part, Ed, is in the quiet part after the joke, not when you're telling it. And so I've studied them. I've studied the masters of communication, how they talk, how they walk, where they pause, where they stand, all of those different things. And it's served me really, really well. My number one ability is my ability to communicate.
And I work on that with my kids all the time. By the way, I don't think it has to all be verbal. You might be a great writer. People might just sense energy when they're around you. Here's the one thing I'll tell you about your communication ability. Just remember this. You're always making people feel something. So be intentional about what it is they're feeling. Always. Server in a restaurant who's waiting on you or you're being served by them. You're making them feel something. They're making you feel something. I'm just pretty intentional all the time about what I'm making people feel. And that's made me a pretty good speaker.
You're an incredible speaker. Let's talk about the second time you went up and gave a speech. As part of that, I want to talk about one of my favorite topics, which has been one of the main ingredients of my success, preparation, but not the kind of preparation that most people think about. It's what I call extreme preparation. 99.9% of the time, I'm always the most prepared person in the room. That means if someone prepares one hour for a meeting, I'm preparing five.
The average podcast host will probably spend one hour preparing for a show. And if it's a popular show, you probably have a team doing the research themselves. I don't. I do all of my own research. And on average, I spend 22 hours preparing for each of mine. And for our podcast today, Ed, I spent 37 hours preparing for this. My gosh, Rick. I don't want to get an A on my performance or for the quality of my show. And I don't want an A plus either. I want an A triple plus. I want my podcast to stand out by providing substantially more details than any other host.
You do. And ask a unique question that no one else has before me, both of which bring me closer to my guests and earns their respect and which makes for a better show. And I want my listeners to tell me they've never heard of a podcast like mine and that preparation details of my show are incredible, that they've never seen or heard something like it either, which earns their respect, gets them to tell their friends about it, which in turn makes me incredibly happy and incredibly fulfilled because I'm motivating, inspiring other people and making a difference in their lives, which is the goal of In Search of Excellence.
let's go back to your first speech. You bombed. And then you had as much anxiety and fear going into your second speech, but you had a different approach. What was your approach to that second speech? And in search of excellence, can you tell us how important preparation has been to your success and give us a few specific examples? And going a step further, how important is extreme preparation, going way and above and beyond what would consider normally great preparation? I'm talking about the kind of preparation that you would spend nearly a week on for a single event or meeting.
The separation is in the preparation, period. For me, the separation's in my preparation, number one. And number two, I make it about them and not me. Extreme preparation means this.
that after I've prepared all that I can, I prepare one more time. And that's the power of one more. So, and then after I've done that, typically I'll do even one more after that. For me, my confidence comes from my preparation, not my ability. And that when I come out there, I've thought through every possible scenario, every glitch, every single element that could possibly happen. When I work with athletes of mine, I want to go to extreme places of, okay, what if you break your right wrist? What if you do that?
We're going to go through every single possible element. Everybody I know that's great at anything. I said Brady earlier, he just out prepares everybody. And so for me, my respect level for like what you've done today, I want to do better because you've done better to prepare than anybody that's ever interviewed me before. So the separation is in the preparation. It is the key to me and about every single business I've ever had.
Let's talk about intention. When you were 28 years old, you went to Hawaii for your financial business. You get up early before the sun rises. You go for a run on the beach and there's a sweating bald guy running towards you who's wearing a Sony Walkman. You recognize him and you knew who he was. Even though you'd never met him before, he had already changed your life. He's about to pass you. You stopped him and introduced yourself and you told him that.
Can you tell us who he was and what he told you and how that encounter changed your life forever? It was Wayne Dyer. And he was the, some of you may not know, he was one of the great all-time thought leaders, one of the most remarkable human beings ever. I said, Dr. Dyer, you changed my life. He stops running. He goes, I doubt that.
I bet you changed your life, but how did I help? We ended up sitting on the beach for 90 minutes or so, maybe a little longer, actually. And we watched the sun come up and it changed my life. And at the end of the 90 minutes, he said, Ed, we had a very deep voice like mine, by the way. Our voices were very similar. He said, Ed, you're going to change the world. And I bet you he had said that to a lot of people. But to me, I was the first person. And he said, and it's not because you got that great voice and your brain's amazing and the way you think and just people feel things from you. He goes, that's not why.
Would you please do me a favor and never base your self-confidence on your abilities or your achievements? I said, well, then what do I base them on, Wayne? And he said, your intentions. Ed, you have a beautiful intention. You have a great heart. You care about people. You want to make a difference. That's why you're going to change the world. So when you go into a business meeting from now on, focus on your intent, get your confidence. Any speech you give, focus on your intent. Any podcast, we didn't have them back then. I always focus on my intentions because that's where my confidence comes from. That was the second person who believed in me.
It took 20 some odd more years, Mrs. Smith and then Wayne. Why? Because what Wayne told me I knew was true about if you told me I was smart or amazing, I probably wouldn't believe you. But if you say to me, your intentions are great and good and pure and honorable, I do believe that about me. And so I learned about the power of intention. Ironically, when I met him, he was writing a book called The Power of Intention.
Let's talk about the importance to people and the importance of money and how they relate to one another. When most people talk about whether someone's successful, they're really asking if they make a lot of money or if they have a lot of money. You don't. Your sister, Andrea, who was born with diabetes and she's blind, she can see shadows, but she can't see papers and she can't drive. She's a teacher at a Christian school. She makes $38,000 a year. She's on Instagram. She's four feet 11 tall, the same height as her students. You said that she's
Just as successful as you or even more successful, where do we go wrong in our views about money and its relationship to success? And where should money rank in our careers and in our lives? And what's the difference between being wealthy and being rich? Listen, I think having a lot of money is good, and I'm glad I do. I believe I've been happy poor and happy rich, and happy rich is better. But there's a difference between having a bunch of money and actually being rich. Rich is emotions. And the reason my sister's so successful, here's what I believe in life. It's really simple. It's
Success is when your blueprint for your life matches reality. Whatever your vision is, if your vision is to have millions of dollars and you get it, that's success. If your vision is to contribute and help you. My sister's vision has nothing. By the way, I use the word vision and she's blind. My sister's vision for her life has nothing to do with money. It's not a priority for her.
It's service and children and contributing. So she's mega successful because her dream, her blueprint is what she lives. Lack of success is that your dream and your blueprint is opposite of your life. And so whatever the blueprint is, get it. If it's money, great. That's awesome. If it's a part of it, you and I both know we're around them all the time. I know a bunch of people with a lot of money who are not rich. They're poor, very poor, emotionally broke. And so
Sometimes what we think we want isn't. Here's what I'll say lastly. Is it really the money you want or is it how you think it'll make you feel? Is it really the jet you want or how you think it'll make you feel? Is it really the body you want or how you think it'll make you feel? And if you start to focus more on how you want to feel than what you want to get, you'll end up getting all the stuff anyway.
So let's go to the end. Before we sign off today, what final piece of advice do you have for those listening or watching about how to go about achieving their dreams? If you could say one thing to these people, what would it be? I would say work on your identity. That there's this thing in your life called your identity, which is really the thoughts, beliefs, and concepts that inside you believe to be the most true about you. And it's much like a thermostat sitting on the wall. There's one right here. Actually, it's hot in here. It's like 76 degrees.
But if that thermostat setting is set at 76 degrees, it regulates the internal temperature. So it could be 100 outside, and this place turns the air conditioner on and cools it down. If it was 40 outside, it turns the heater on and regulates it. That's what your identity is. So the problem for most people is they've got to, let's say it's money or relationships or happiness. You have different settings. If you're a 76-degreer of happiness and
And all of a sudden you start to have this great relationship and amazing things in your life. You'll find a way to turn the air conditioner on and get it back to what you believe you're worth. If you're 75 degrees, 76 degrees of financial success, and you've got a business going and you're saving money and making money and you're an entrepreneur and you've got 100, 120 degrees of wealth, you find a way to cool it back down and turn the air conditioner on. It'll seem circumstantial. Ah, crypto drop, the market change, rates went up, inflation. I had to loan a friend money.
baloney. It's all coincidental. You turn the air conditioner on and cooled it back to what you believe you're worth. So more than anything, get the power of one more. The second chapter is on the matrix. And I will begin to teach you how to reprogram that thermostat setting so that when you do get to 100 degrees of happiness or 200 degrees, you'll turn the heater on of your life instead of the air conditioner. As you've been
an incredible role model to many millions of people and have changed their lives forever. And you've changed mine as well. Your book, The Power of One More, will go down as one of the greatest motivational on how to succeed books of all time. I encourage everybody to read it and buy copies for friends or family members or colleagues. It will have an incredible impact on their lives and they will thank you for changing their lives. Thank you, Ed, for being an amazing friend over the years and for sharing your incredible and inspirational story with us. I'm very grateful. Well, listen to me before we end.
I bet I've done over a thousand interviews in my life and your level of preparation is unprecedented. I mean, unprecedented. And yeah, we know each other as friends, but you know stuff about me, Randy, that I don't know about me. And that's a level of preparation that I have never seen before. And it's the highest level of respect that you could pay a guest. And my admiration for you has gone through the roof and it was already very high. So thank you for being so prepared and doing such a world-class job on your show. Thank you, my man.