cover of episode The Keys to a Long Term Relationship & How Our Minds Are Quirky - SYSK Choice

The Keys to a Long Term Relationship & How Our Minds Are Quirky - SYSK Choice

2024/10/26
logo of podcast Something You Should Know

Something You Should Know

AI Deep Dive AI Insights AI Chapters Transcript
People
D
David G. Myers
G
George Blair-West
节目主持人
Topics
节目主持人:研究表明,说谎,即使是善意的谎言,也会对健康造成负面影响,降低免疫力,增加患病风险。 George Blair-West:长期关系的成功并非完全依赖浪漫爱情,更重要的是承诺和对伴侣的接纳。浪漫爱情往往是短暂的,而承诺和接纳能够帮助伴侣度过关系中的挑战。他认为,在热恋期做出结婚决定是危险的,应该在冷静期过后再做决定。他还提到,制造爱情是可能的,通过一些亲密行为,陌生人之间也能建立感情。 David G. Myers:人类的思维方式存在许多偏差,例如过度自信、误用直觉以及潜在的自我中心主义。人们往往高估自己的能力,误解他人的生活,并且倾向于喜欢与自己相关的事物。他还谈到注意力、直觉、行为确认以及潜在的自我中心主义等方面,并解释了这些现象背后的原因和影响。 George Blair-West: 长期稳定的亲密关系并非完全建立在浪漫爱情的基础上,承诺和接纳才是维系关系的关键。热恋期的情感容易冲昏头脑,不利于做出长远的关系决定。建议在热恋期过后,冷静地评估彼此的性格、价值观以及长远发展,再决定是否步入婚姻。 此外,他还提到,通过一些亲密行为,即使是陌生人之间也能建立感情,这说明爱情并非完全取决于命中注定,也可以通过后天的努力去培养和维系。他认为,在一段关系中,双方需要互相理解和接纳彼此的缺点,并努力去改进自身,而不是一味地指责对方。 David G. Myers: 人类的思维方式存在许多偏差,例如过度自信、误用直觉以及潜在的自我中心主义。人们往往高估自己的能力,误解他人的生活,并且倾向于喜欢与自己相关的事物。 在注意力方面,他指出人类只能同时关注一件事情,多任务处理实际上是注意力在不同事物之间快速切换。在直觉方面,他认为直觉是自动化的思维方式,既有其优势,也有其局限性。人们需要在利用直觉的同时,保持理性思考。 在行为确认方面,他指出人们的预期会影响他人的行为,以及人们对自身的认知也会影响自身的行为。在潜在的自我中心主义方面,他指出人们倾向于喜欢与自己相关的事物,例如名字、生日等。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why might lying be bad for your health?

Lying is stressful and lowers immunity, making you prone to illnesses.

Why do arranged marriages often have higher satisfaction levels than love marriages?

Arranged marriages emphasize commitment and lower expectations, which sustains satisfaction over time.

Why do people often think others are having more fun than they are?

Social media highlights others' best moments, making daily life seem less exciting by comparison.

Why is it a myth that washing mushrooms makes them soggy?

Mushrooms do not absorb water when washed, contrary to popular belief.

Why do people tend to be overconfident in their abilities?

A certain level of optimism is necessary to take action and achieve goals.

Why do people often marry those in similar professions?

Shared experiences and mutual understanding can foster a sense of connection and compatibility.

Why is it important to have aligned personal values in a relationship?

Misaligned core values can lead to substantial conflict and make relationships difficult to sustain.

Why do people often feel happier after small acts of kindness?

Engaging in small acts of kindness boosts mood for both the giver and the recipient.

Why can't humans multitask effectively?

Human attention can only focus on one thing at a time, despite the illusion of multitasking.

Why do people often misuse their intuition?

Intuition can lead to irrational decisions when not checked by reason.

Chapters
Lying, even white lies, can lead to health issues due to the stress and lowered immunity it causes.
  • Telling even white lies can bring on a cold or the flu.
  • Concocting a lie and covering tracks is stressful and lowers immunity.
  • A study showed that truth-tellers had fewer health and mental health issues.

Shownotes Transcript

From a very early age you were likely told not to lie. Lying is bad. And it seems that one of the things it is bad for is your health! This episode begins by explaining how lying affects your health – and not in a good way. https://newsinfo.nd.edu/news/32424-study-telling-fewer-lies-linked-to-better-health-relationships)

The idea of marrying someone for love is a relatively recent concept when you look back through human history. Today, it is often the__ primary__ reason for marriage. Yet if you look at the divorce statistics, love may not be the magic ingredient to long term relationships. While we are not likely to go back to arranged marriages, there may be something we can learn from them, says psychiatrist George Blair-West author of the book How to Make the Biggest Decision of Your Life (https://amzn.to/3gQPTyD).) Listen as he explains what really works in keeping a relationship together – and it isn’t romantic love. 

The human mind works in odd ways. For one thing, we tend to be overconfident in our abilities. We often think other people are having more fun than we are. We also tend to like things simply because they remind us of us – like the letters in your name or the numbers in your birthday! Here to explain all this is David G. Myers. He is a social psychologist and professor of psychology at Hope College and author of a book How Do We Know Ourselves?: Curiosities and Marvels of the Human Mind (https://amzn.to/3fqyP1Z).)

Every good cook knows you should NEVER wash or rinse mushrooms, you should brush them. That is because mudrooms soak up water like a sponge and that ruins them. But what if that isn’t really true? Listen as I explain. Source: Harold McGee author of On Food and Cooking (https://amzn.to/3UeclA2)).

PLEASE SUPPORT OUR SPONSORS!!!

INDEED:  Get a $75 SPONSORED JOB CREDIT to get your jobs more visibility at** https://Indeed.com/SOMETHING**)  Support our show by saying you heard about Indeed on this podcast.  Indeed.com/SOMETHING.  Terms and conditions apply.

SHOPIFY:  Sign up for a $1 per-month trial period at** https://Shopify.com/sysk**) . Go to SHOPIFY.com/sysk to grow your business – no matter what stage you’re in!

MINT MOBILE: Cut your wireless bill to $15 a month at https://MintMobile.com/something)! $45 upfront payment required (equivalent to $15/mo.).  New customers on first 3 month plan only. Additional taxes, fees, & restrictions apply.

Learn more about your ad choices. Visit megaphone.fm/adchoices)