Episode 388: Lee Trink: Gen Z Snowflakes, Helicopter Parenting, and the Crucial Lessons of Failure
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Hi guys, it's Tony Robbins. You're listening to Habits and Hustle. Crush it. Before we dive into today's episode, I first want to thank our sponsor, Therasage. Their TriLight panel has become my favorite biohacking thing for healing my body. It's a portable red light panel that I simply cannot live without. I literally bring it with me everywhere I go. And I personally use their red light therapy to help reduce inflammations in places that

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A S A G E.com and use code be bold for 15% off any of their products. All right, you guys, we have a very special solo episode today. I am joined with one of my very dear friends, Lee Trink, who is, I would say definitely not a shrinking violet. So he'll make a wonderful foil for, for this episode. Uh, so I just ask how is it a solo episode if I'm sitting here, like it's already not solo. We,

We call it solo episodes because it's more of, I pick a topic that I think is interesting to talk about or just kind of like to delve deeper into. And I'm a piece of furniture. Yeah, you're like my foil. That's why we call it a solo. But you're right. At this point, we should probably just call it like a duo episode because you are technically a person as well.

sitting here. I would think so. And you're on camera. What do I know? Well, let me tell you just a little backstory. So the reason why we called it Solos was I used to do them with Shawnee, who used to work with me, who I adore. But Shawnee got a very meaningful job with Jews Talk Justice.

So she hasn't been available. So I haven't really been doing solos. I've been doing more like fitness Fridays. And now I'm just kind of going back to like doing some solos and we're going to kind of go back and forth. Right. And how we used to do it was she was not on camera because we didn't have access to have all these cameras. So she would kind of sit on the other side.

But now we have more cameras, hence you'll be visually, you know, you'll be seen to the public. I also want to tell everybody that if you have not yet subscribed, please subscribe. I should have said that at the beginning. Always give us comments. If you like Lee, hate Lee, think he is... Join the club. Yeah, you can just kind of like... Add yourself to the list.

He has a lot of opinions, and I thought he'd be a wonderful addition to the solo slash duo episode. So anyway, thanks for coming. Sure. Thanks for having me. You're welcome. So today's topic, what we're going to delve into, is something that me and you talk about a lot, so I thought this would be a good place to start, is I really want to talk about Gen Z. And the reason why is...

I'm under the impression and my belief is that I believe that we have a real problem with Gen Z. I think that we as a society have been, we are building soft people like this generation and the generation to come are becoming more soft and more soft. And I just saw a recent study or I've spoken about this before about on a recent study, which was

that 800 people who were interviewed for a job, 20% of these people of like, these are business managers, were saying that 20% of the people that they were interviewing wanted to take their moms or dads to the interview. That they would not- Hilarious. Yeah. They would not go alone. I mean, I've heard the statistic and I think

What's amusing also is like, that sounds humiliating. Like I couldn't even think of something more astonishingly humiliating. Not only the ask for it, but having my mom sit there like, Lord knows what she's going to say. Well, no, but like that's our generation. Like I would never even think in a million... Like we used to be afraid or not afraid. We'd be embarrassed to take our parents places. But like...

I think that's more when you're younger. I think as you get older, you're not as embarrassed. But I will say that what's happened in not just the workforce, but in general, that we are breeding soft people, soft children that are turning into young adults, that are turning into adults, that they're unable to have the coping skills, the ability to adapt to the environment that they're in. Because what's happened is we are creating the environment where our kids live.

should be in versus allowing our kids to adapt to the environment outside. We're doing the opposite. And we are indulging them in these triggers and these, you know, feeling every emotion. And I think the pendulum now has swung so far that people have become really soft and they are not able to even,

adapt and like live in like today's time? Look, I think part of it, look, I am, I would say I am a, actually a very big proponent of Gen Z. I ran a company, built a company that was a Gen Z company, was not only was our audience Gen Z, our talent with Gen Z, our employees were mostly Gen Z, FaZe Clan. And I think we've failed to

that generation in many ways. And then they have some of the idiosyncrasies that they've created themselves or that maybe a product of that may be a different point of view. But so number one, despite maybe some of the things I'll say negatively about them, I'm actually a big proponent of Gen Z. And I think it's important to understand them in the context of how they grew up. And I think what you're talking about is it. If you're a generation that grew up

with participation trophies as the norm and weren't taught resilience, weren't, you know, were so protected by helicopter parents, by, again, sports. Sports is something that teaches people discipline, expertise,

excellence, stick-to-itiveness. It teaches you so many things. And as soon as you give people participation trophies as a thing, you've now kind of undermined all of those lessons that kids are able to learn. You're taking away the, you know, you're not congratulating people on their effort anymore. You're basically just saying because you showed up,

period, you win. And yeah, it's great to show up. And we always talk about showing up as half the battle. But then where is the effort to take it? Not everyone could be a winner. You have to have winners and you have to have losers. Now, what I'm curious about, like, where did the pendulum swing so far? At what point did things end up becoming so different than how our generation was? Well, I think it's because people were looking to protect

right? You're trying to protect feelings or your, your potential. Where did that come from? I think it's this, and it's partially indulgence. It's, it's, and I think this is not, not to, you know, not to get sidetracked, but I think it's, it's,

part of a problem of like the entire society where we look at almost the weakest or the slowest of the pack. I mean, think about it from the term of Darwinism. What we've started to do is we started to say, hey, the kids in the back, why doesn't everybody in the front slow down so the kids in the back don't feel so bad?

And at that moment, if you look at just that moment in time, what a wonderful thing you've done to preserve the feelings of the kid in the back, right? So if you look at it just on the lens, but if you pull back, now what have you taught the rest of the kids? What have you removed as a lesson for these kids? So I think-

The thing that drove even the ideology behind it was maybe something benevolent, but it really created, I think it had unintended consequences or just ignored consequences that, I mean, frankly, I think knowing the way we grew up,

Duh, right? I know, that's my point. The way we grew up, but I'm saying, let's say, remove us or our generation, let's say, from today, right? Do you think, you worked with so many of these guys at Faze Clan, that is the Generation Z, and do they feel like,

Like, do they even know how it used to be in the sense that they have become soft or they don't even know any different, right? Because that's all they really know. And why, what I don't, what bothers me is that when people are excellent, we are made to, not we as in me, but I'm saying they are made to feel bad.

or less than because they're now making people who are worse than feel bad about themselves. That's what you're saying. Like the people in the front should now slow down to make the people in the back feel better. Yeah. Now the reality is if you, if you look at the environment of phase client, like from the talent side, these are all people that excel, right? These worst. So, so they're, they're almost the exception to the, to the rule or, or to the commonality because just by helping, you know, Bill,

building that brand, creating the energy behind it, that's excellence that did that, right? Like that was different than the pack. So I think that a lot of them would look at it and kind of have a similar reaction of understanding it, right? But what we're talking about is what's happened to the masses. Why are people being kind of left behind or why are people lagging? And so, yes, there are lessons that I have had experience in working with that generation, but-

I happened to have worked with the people who excelled and the people that kind of were at the front of the pack. - Were outliers. - And stayed at the front of the pack. And frankly, again, I'll go back to sports. I think sports is, I think back to the things that I learned playing high school football.

taught me a lot of things, maybe not even in the nicest way, right? My, you know, coaches are tough, but those lessons are really important and they're transferable. And when you, you know, when you eliminate those from kids, when you try and create so much safety, then you kind of screw up somebody's trajectory. Like that safety is a bubble that they grew up in and a

bubble that they will need to live under and why that bubble is, can my mommy come to this interview? Because I need that bubble. I need the tether. And to that, just for the sport, the sports analogy to me is really important because sports to me always has been a place where people have learned...

team building, discipline, patience. Like you need to work hard to become really good at something. Practice. Investing in yourself, right? Like you have to practice a lot before you get to that game. And what's happening now are,

all of these, like, we're actually bubble wrapping the kids before they go. Or when a coach is not nice or screaming, parents are calling the coach and berating the coach and, you know, or just... It would have never dawned on me to tell my parents how mean my coach was. It would never dawn on me either. I mean, this is, you know, maybe this gets cut out. I remember one of the coaches, they took...

His move was he would literally take somebody's helmet and kind of kick them in the chin to like – I think it was like a shock and awe campaign. And listen, I mean, maybe that's extreme and maybe that should be for underprivileged. I've heard some really crazy shit. But like our coaches were brutal. But guess what? It works. Yeah, like we're better for it, you know? Oh, I mean, listen, I always say that like if I –

I think we're trying to eliminate the obstacle of failure, but yet it's failure that makes you successful. 100%. And it's because it is the act of...

of picking yourself back up. Of course. And doing that repeatedly, right? Like that's not a one-time thing. Like, look, we live in a world where people get kicked down all the time. And if you don't have the coping mechanism to deal with that, well, you could disintegrate from it. And so this is where we come back to this whole thing of- But there's also, to me, like an exacerbating factor. Okay. Which is the,

The internet, social media, the speed in which and the world at your fingertips also teaches a lesson that compounds the problem, which is everything is moving at light speed. I want it now. I want it yesterday. I want, right? I have it. I want to watch it. I have it. I want the information. I have it. Whatever it is, I don't have to invest it. How is that building soft skills?

Soft people. Because if you think about the first part, it takes, and you just said it, right? Patience, discipline. Right. There's no delayed gratification. That's right. So you don't invest in, there's no kind of routine overhaul.

of investing in something to get to the place. So this is the thing. I think delayed gratification is a whole podcast on its own. I think that is what's happened with social media. We can even do a whole other solo duo on that later because I think that's a big one. But I do believe that eliminating the...

the ability to feel pain or hurt or discomfort. It's naive. It's nice, but naive. I just think it's like, it's unrealistic for life. I think that what happened, this is what I wanted to say, that I think that sports used to be a microcosm for the rest of the world and life.

And that's what was really good for children to be in these team sports. But what's happened is they've actually like made it so it's actually not a microcosm. It's the opposite. They've bubble wrapped these people. They've created their own reality thinking that,

That's how life is. Like your mom's always going to call. Your mom is going to call the coach. Your mom is going to, if you don't like something, you can quit. That's the other thing. How many people have I seen on these sports teams that my kids are on that they don't like something because someone looked at them wrong or they didn't like the coach or they lost or something happened and they just

quit and they never showed up again. And the parent allowed for this. Like never in my house would I allow my child to quit a sports team or anything for that matter, because they just didn't feel like it anymore. They had a bad day, right? Or a bad moment, right? They didn't like it anymore.

Like in my, if you start something, you finish it, you follow through, follow through, follow through. There's been a million different research studies basically saying that the best way to build confidence is through self-efficacy and through competence. The only way to get competent is to do something even when you don't want to. That's how that works. So let's just wrap this up because they're supposed to be, they're supposed to be short episodes.

And God knows with, I have no idea how long that was, but I want to say that I want to hear feedback from people who are listening. What do you feel? Do you think we're building a soft, a society with soft people, soft kids that are now turning into adults? What is your take? Do you think that you still need to have grit? That's how you build grit to, you need to like build grit and resilience by allowing kids to fail, by making, making the kid not, not,

quit because they don't like it anymore. And well, just overall, what is your feeling? Do you feel that we are building a soft nation? That's my question. And me and my cohort here, I think, feel that we are. Yeah? I mean, I definitely think we are. Look,

When you start to hear that a certain amount of people want to bring their parents to an interview, that has to stop you in your tracks and say, what are we doing wrong? There's a lot of these things of what are we doing wrong and start to look for root causes.

And, you know, life's a balance, right? Like, you know, creating resiliency is there's not an endless amount of pain somebody can tolerate. And also not everybody's the same. But in general, this desire to prevent pain from people is...

is having unintended consequences. - So I should also add that besides just like ranting on this podcast, I do like to offer people solutions, right? So one of the solutions I would say is it's not just with, it starts with the parent, but the parent only has, they only have so much say after a certain place, right?

And I would say, like, if you are a parent listening to this episode, you know, it starts with you to role model what you want your kids. Because kids actually learn better from role modeling than from talking to them. Don't be someone who quits. Finish things that you start. You know, don't allow and give in to every single emotional whim.

Your job as a parent isn't to make your kid happy, it's to make them resilient over time. And this isn't just me talking, I am a parent, so I think I could be considered somewhat of an expert because I do it every day, but I actually read a ton about this and I've had a lot of experts on this show. And that is honestly from...

All the different experts I've had, they all agree on camera and off that we are in a crisis here because we are now doing worse as a generation, as a society than the generation before in terms of success, not just exponentially.

economic success, but personal success. So anyway, that's all I wanted to say. Just be cognizant. I would add to that also, some of the things you can do is encourage your kid to play sports because sports, there are a lot of great lessons in. Encourage your kid to play a musical instrument.

Because that's also, it takes discipline to achieve, takes time, takes patience and teaching the kid. And don't quit. Yeah. And don't quit, right? Like sometimes you need to find the right sport or the right instrument. So there's a little bit of leave way you should have, but you've got to, you got to hold your kid's feet to the fire.

on that and make sure they learn those lessons that unfortunately there are some people in some schools that are trying to take away those lessons in the effort for, again, protecting them for things that they don't frankly need protection. Absolutely. And also, I'll leave you with this. And if you are a parent, don't go to the job interview with your child.

That's what I'll have to end it with. Please give us your thoughts and feedback. Always welcome. And thanks again, Lee, for being on the podcast. My pleasure being here for your solo. To be my foil. Yes. Bye.