Side Stories: The Tragic School Bus
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Shop now at GearRents.com. Hello! Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the brighter side here to check in with you, see how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air fryer in the bathtub but nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first? Then the brighter side podcast is for you! Oh yeah!

Each week we take nasty, dooky, stupid, dumb, stinky, no good, doo-doo factory, boo, caca-like topics and try to find the brighter side. Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chained to a bed in Russia? Um, at least they have free health care. That's right. So start your weekend off right every Friday with The Brighter Side on The Last Podcast Network. You beautiful babies.

There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. Oh, shit! Lose that stride. You can lose that stride. We gotta dig deep. We gotta dig deep, boy. You're looking at me. Is this the beginning? You're looking at my back, boy. I'm trying to cut all the way through.

This jungle, looking at my back, feeling the steps I take in the mud.

That's what you do, Eddie. That's what I do? Come behind me. I come behind you and I cut you down. And I get in the mud. You get in the mud. Maybe I was just trying to smoke your head. What's going on? Why did you, is this your new Easter? What's going on here with your head? Oh, you're talking about dyeing my hair? You dyed your hair. It's called a middle life crisis. Midlife crisis. In a way. But I'm not there yet. I'm still not saying 40 is middle.

No I think I'm going to make it to a solid 92 Oh you think you're going to make it to 92? Yeah because I'm going to be mostly robot I'm going to be replaced as much as humanly possible With exoskeletons Anything that I can science wise That's allowed Two huge new tits

Oh, that'll help you. That's something to live for. See, the thing is, first off, first correction I'm making, gonna add some top meat to these breasts, right? So I can get some benefactor. Round them a little bit. Oh, round them. No, they need rounding. And then, like, then I can get a benefactor that will pay for all of the other things for me to get. Robot legs,

Robot hands, robot cock. You are the benefactor. I know, but then at first, I'm sucking this guy's dick. I'm having crazy sex with him. I'm fucking giving him. Obviously, the goal is you give me new breasts. I give you a titty fuck anytime you ask, right? Because that's the arrangement. And I will do that for him, right, over and over and over again until then I'm obviously mostly robotic. Then I kill him and take over his home.

All right. This is a plan, Eddie. And that's why I dyed my hair. Oh, no, I dyed my hair because I as I'm giving a New Orleans funeral to the rest of my hairs. Oh, is that what's going on? They're dying. And so I'm going to party my way as they as the hairs jump from the front of my head to the top of my asshole.

I'm trying to look at how much breast implants cost for a man. I mean, I think that there's only $4,500. You could do this on your own. You don't need this other guy. Yeah, I can put that on credit. I can put those on layaway. I think you can get one and then get the other later on. You can get them both at once. I'm just saying, I'm not going to kind of drop it. I want to see how one works, how one feels. I wonder if you can get a temp.

That would be great. If honestly, I should just wear a bra. Get a bra with two fake boobies. Glue them to yourself. Okay. Shave your breasts first. Of course, you're going to have to shave them. Yeah. Unfortunately, that's why I think, don't think this is going to work because if you try to titty fuck someone, it could start a fire. The thing is also, if you shave my tits now, right, they just look like breasts. Yeah. I wouldn't need. You might not need this surgery.

Welcome to Side Stories. My name's Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. I don't know. I'm just saying I would like, I'm looking for investors in me. Yeah. And so anybody that wants to kind of come and set up shop in here, this is a fixer-upper. All right? I got a bad thumb. This has got to be replaced. My fucking shoulder's hurting me. All right? Honestly, I'm permanently hard.

Really? Yeah. Maybe that could be your new thumb. Honestly, it's really hurting my, it's hurting because it's rubbing against my zipper. Oh, and you can't jerk off because your jerk off hand is out of commish. Look at this. I've been having to use my fucking, I've been having to use the couch. Really? Yeah. That's one hot couch. Get that thing fake breasts.

Imagine that, how wonderful that would be. Right on the armchairs, you can just sleep on them all day. God, that's fucking an awesome idea. And you can just stick your face in between them as you're sleeping. Yeah, it's like, oh, what's that, honey? Take out the trash? Maybe I'll just sit here and... Wow, dude, that's the fucking... Fuck all this! Still on the couch! Copywritten TMR

with a circle around it. Last podcast of the life, LPOTL. We're putting that down there. Fake tits with the couch. Couch tits. That's incredible. Yes. Couch tits.org. Oh my God. Natalie's never going to see me again.

Oh, wow. Side stories is crushing it this week. Already we're coming up with new stuff. Got a lot of stuff to get to today. First of all. Can I just say something real quick? We can go past it. You're allowed to talk as much as you want and as long as you want. I would like to give a nice congratulations to the Florida Panthers for winning the Stanley Cup.

First time ever, Miami has won hockey, and I'm very happy for them. That is all. I just wanted to say I love you, Panthers. He's allowed to have this male moment. I didn't even watch a second of hockey this year. I'm just happy they won. This is Florida love. This isn't even hockey love. If I could be honest...

Fuck hockey. Wow. Yeah, I don't even care about hockey. I don't give a shit about hockey. I never liked it. But how does this help Florida? How does this help the Sanchez voters? How does it help them? What do you mean? They already dropped the Stanley Cup in the ocean. Dude.

It's not even 24 hours since they won. Well, at least they don't play football. They would have dropped the ball. I don't know, man. Well, great. Honestly, congrats, Florida Panthers. Go get them. Go puck yourself. You go out there and you go. I hope that you slap those pucks around. They just threw it in the ocean. That is the dumbest thing. That is the single dumbest thing I've ever heard.

I've ever seen. That's very stupid. Can I take what he said back? Congrats, fellas. I love you very much. Yeah, because he just threw the Stanley Cup into the ocean. Do they all drink out of it and piss and shit in it? You know what? I don't even know any of their names. Yeah, God knows. Yeah, it's like Slobodan Milankovic and the other guy. I keep saying that name.

There's another one over there. Yeah, they're all Chechnyan. They're going with him like, I'm just happy to see. Wow. Yeah, they just threw it in the water. That's really stupid. They just threw it in the fucking ocean. Really stupid. Hey, Florida doesn't have nice things. They are going to end up becoming the Atlanta Panthers is what is going to happen.

Congrats, boys! Good work. Thank you for bringing it back to Miami. Or bringing it to Miami. Good work, guys. Now, I covered the Karen Reid trial clumsily last week, and I did make one, an actual mistake. Now, the reason why I'm bringing it up is because we are now in the middle of the verdict.

Like they're doing the verdict finding area right now. It could be out by the time this episode comes out. By the time, honestly, it's what's going to happen. By the time this episode is going to happen, we're going to know whether or not she is innocent or guilty. But I have got a really good, the main correction I wanted to give was that it wasn't Karen Reed who,

that texted how's long to die in the cold that is what i thought and i was confused because i'd listened to a lot of coverage i did listen to hours of coverage but so she didn't write that no i was that's why i that but honestly that's why i was confused i was like why is there an even issue here so it was written by jennifer mccabe who's a friend of the albert family which were the guys that own that

house that no one came out or was interviewed in or like the idea of where the mysterious party happened with the big connections to the Boston police. That's a big fuck up, Henry. Yes, it's a very big fuck up. Thank you. Yes, it is. So, but that's why I don't normally do this. So, so she's got to be innocent.

I, there's a lot there, but the key is, is that she was very, very intoxicated. Oh yeah. They're saying a little bit is that we don't know. Could be a group murder. They, that we're saying we don't know what happened. And then also the weird stuff about the textic change, um, between the Albert family. There's the guys that own the house showed that one of the uncles told everyone to say that the guy never went into the house. Brian Albert, cop house owner replies,

Exactly. For two years, Brian's son, Colin, a known hothead, was kept off of witness reports. After a text between him and his sister proved he was there that night, he started to appear back in the statements, which is also interesting. Also, she was sending weird, flirty texts, as Karen Reed, to another one of his buddies, John O'Keefe, the man that was murdered in this instance. And it's really weird. It's very complicated, but that was the main fact. Everything else I was fine on. Yeah. Yeah.

But I just got that one fact wrong. No, no, I'm glad you corrected yourself. Yeah, because I tried to... Look at me. I'm just this incredible, present, moisturized, so moist. My head's on a swivel and I'm just so...

I'm here and you're blessed to have me. You look horrible. I'm supposed to be working on my self-esteem. Oh, I'm sorry. I'm sorry. You look fine. It's the immediate correction that's worse. The immediate correction actually doesn't make me feel better. You look like you celebrate Feaster instead of Easter time.

This is called, the hair dye is literally just trying to feel something. All right. And just trying to feel something, trying to feel inspired, trying to feel full energy. You know what? You know where you see the difference? Yeah. I went down to Melrose with Jackie to go for good put costume shopping. So we went to look like dumb stuff for costume shopping. Yeah. And normally when I'm on Melrose Avenue in Los Angeles, I'm treated like,

like a narcotics officer. Yeah. Like, they view me, they look at me, and they imagine I'm here to tell everyone that they're all on double secret probation. Yeah, just disguised as a Satanist. Yes, they have no idea that they do. There's just something about my aura. Again, it's the Zebrowski coming through with the senior, the Henry Senior face that is coming through. But when I had the hair dyed, people said hello. Really?

People said, people like offered, they were like, oh, you should check out this thing. And it was like, you know, it was some outfit that a hole for the dick for it. And I was like, thank you for thinking that. I want that. Yeah. You know, like that's so nice of you to think that I'm a full deviant because that means I'm young. I'm like euphoria me. This is me, Henry Zebrowski. Euphoria Henry Zebrowski. Oh, my nipples are out. It's so cold in here. I need heroin. I'm going, I gotta go to math class.

When people said your hair was dyed, they meant like it was dead. It is still there. But you notice there's more hair than there was. No, you look great. You look great. It's literally my job to make fun of you. Is it? Is it, Rob? It looks great. Well, you were biased. You're forced. No, it does. No, you do. I do actually like it against all odds. Yeah, I know. But I stand here stronger than I was yesterday. Stunned.

Stronger than yesterday. Oh, we have one last little piece of information about the Karen Reid trial. Oh, there's more updates? There's one little thing. This is really what they talked about. So we talked a little bit about the discrepancy about the broken taillight on this car. Because they're talking about the reason why...

that they think that he was struck and killed was because they have this like broken taillight. But the problem was, is that they didn't find the glass until days later and they had to dig it out from under the snow and it was super sketch. And then there was one police officer that said that they believed in previous material filmed outside of the home, the Karen Reed home. They had saw that the SUV had a cracked taillight already. Now this is where they, the Commonwealth of Massachusetts said,

They had presented a video in court showing the seizure and control of Karen Reed's vehicle, vehicle that the claim that hit O'Keefe. And it shows Trooper Proctor, who is the head of the entire investigation. He's the one that was texting all the mean shit about Karen Reed to all the rest of his guys. He said he never went near the damaged taillight. Instead, they claimed he was on the other side of the car investigating the other undamaged taillight. It wasn't until a day later that they did find out that the fucking video was inverted.

So the president, they literally like they fucked it up. The defense detectives agree was inverted and claim they didn't feel the need to present it as it was the proper way. So like basically it showed that he was looking at the wrong side of the car. This dude's fucked. I mean, you know, I Karen Reid, we'll see what comes out of this, but it is very it is one of the most compelling pieces about the idea of a like of a trial based upon police corruption that I've seen. Well, who knows?

We'll see what comes out of it. So yeah, that was my main huge fuck up. All right. For the weekend. I feel like I could have done much worse. You're allowed to correct. You know what? You're allowed to be wrong. This isn't news. You're right. You know? You're right. But people get their information from me. That's... First of all, anyone getting your information from Henry, I don't know. You might as well get your information from...

A dog on the side of the road Speaking of a dog on the side of the road Let's cut into this first news story This is pretty horrible Oh yeah Yeah, you did this Good segue Yeah, isn't it nice? Do you like bang bus? Do we do trigger warnings or tigger warning? There's no tigers in this story I was not a big bang bus person Because I hate leaving the woman behind on the road Was there ever a bus?

Yeah. Oh, okay. I thought it was like a car. Well, I think it was a van. I think it was a van. Yeah, but it was the bang bus. But yeah, but I always felt sad when they left the woman. It should have been the slam van. Yeah, I mean, that would have been nice. That would have been better. Or how about the love bug like Herbie? Yeah, yeah. Have sex in the VW bug, right? Yes, we know what bang bus is. Rob, he has pulled up many images of bang bus. I know. Google search. Oh, that's what that is. Yeah. Now, but what if I told you there was a bus full of animals you could have sex with? I'd say...

You're a monster. So the Adams County SPCA rescues animals being used for bestiality from a tailor towed by a bus. Now, the reason why I'm even covering this story is that it's gross, but mostly just because it's a tragic bus. It's a tragic bus. Now, this guy, is that the cartoon? Good. It's a tragic bus. This guy, Sean Hirschbein.

Love this guy. He is living a nomadic-like existence inside of this bus. Now, it's a yellow school bus with a makeshift trailer attached to the back of it. Now, it was found in a highway pull-off in Adams County last week. This is in Pennsylvania. God, what a great state. Yeah. And if you look at... I love Pittsburgh. I love Philly. We know we do. Also, we're coming live to Philly, but I think that show is sold out, so it doesn't even matter. Yeah. Unless they... Yeah, they can't even get their money back, can they? No, they're screwed.

So we'll see you in Philly. It's going to be fun. But this guy, he had this person was they were they were investigating this broke down bus on the side of the road. Now, with this guy, Sean Hirschbein did is that he'd scrawled his phone number.

On the sides of this bus So he could be easily available to get to Because he said he lived with animals And he said that what he does Is 24 hour tires and animal shows Okay So he could do animal show with his many many chickens So the whole inside of the bus Was filled with an entire I am going to say chicken tenement house

It's all chickens. It's all chickens and roosters. It's absolutely jam-packed with chicken shit. It looks absolutely horrifying. We're looking at pictures right now. But there was a trailer attached with that and a horse and several dogs in the back of this trailer. Now, people, when you go and you look up the number, Sean Hirschbein's number, we don't have it here. I believe it's 8-6-7-5-3-0-9.

He scrawled his phone number. Apparently the number went to various adult-oriented websites where it showed that Sean Hirschbein is a fairly, if not popular, but self-confident male sex worker. So hold on. You call the number and it goes to a website? The idea of the website was the number was connected to a bunch of websites and a bunch of

escort websites for this man, Sean Hirschbein. But it was male escorts, right? Yes. Yes, it was male escorts. And he's the escort? He, whoop. Now, he was working with a, working with is a, I'm going to say that

loosely he was one of his co-writers with someone named deanna huff now it seems like he was slowly but surely grooming this 15 year old girl that's kind of where all these things kind of came from and he sent to her a bunch of pictures which is again if you i don't recommend flirting with a 15 year old girl if you're not 15 years old as well but i would say that if you're not don't send a bunch of pictures of a guy sucking horse dick no because it's like i would say bts tickets

I would say something like, you know, go see. Don't talk to men on the internet. Go home. I think is a good thing to write to them. Yeah.

You're right. You're right. Not, hey, you want to go see If with everyone's favorite Ryan Reynolds with me. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Right? Again, great, but if you were to ask a child on a date, you'd take him to see If with Ryan Reynolds, and he's even said that. Yeah, Ryan Reynolds loves that. Yeah, and so- He's like, bring the children to my movie. So you got to, yeah. And make sure they're not your children. I'm Ryan Reynolds. Find a kid to bring. Yeah, yeah. I saw that.

It was weird. He kind of put it in the middle of a Mint Mobile ad where he said something about, he's like, find a kid, bring it to If. Yeah, yeah, yeah. By the way, we have to do a Mint Mobile ad in a little bit. We love them. We love Ryan Reynolds. We love him. We love Ryan Reynolds. I love the movie If. I'm just saying it was a suggestion that he made and I don't think it's got nothing to do with Mint Mobile. He's just the owner of it and the main advertiser for it. Now...

So, we've got to get back into this. So, it was bad, right? So, what were the dogs and the horses doing in that trailer behind the school bus? I believe they were putting makeup on and getting dressed. Now, a passing motorist noticed Hirschbein 50 and his traveling companion huff that were broken down at Oxford Township. Now, this is all according to PennLive.com. Oh.

They found the bus. Oh, there's the phone number. I can't read it. There's the phone number. Yes, it's 716. So go look it up. Oh, great. 716-428-

We will probably have to bleep that out. But it's in the 716 area code if you're curious. Yeah. You can go check that out. Right? So the cops went in there and it was really bad. They went inside the bus. They went inside the trailer. They saw the fact that it had four dogs, a horse, and a bull. Betting everywhere and it was really bad. They then went and realized that he was using this app called TextNow speaking to this juvenile. All this shit was going. It's just...

Really, the long and short of this story is this man had a mobile, and you said a bad term, but I'm going to say out of respect for the animals, a brothel that he was driving back and forth. What did I say? A whorehouse. I don't think I said it. It sounds like you said it. And I said that was disrespectful. That was disrespectful. I said boarhouse. Yeah, boarhouse is cute. Yeah. Did you say? No.

No, they went... It's just not good. I do really want to talk about it. They went, they brought the animals in, they checked them for signs of abuse. They all had it. None of it was good. It's just the... It turns out the way they were getting all of the animals too is that they just went on the Facebook marketplace and anybody had an animal to get rid of, they would just pick up. And so they've been using this as a sort of loose animal modeling agency for a period of time and it looks like business is about to be closed. Now...

It's crazy because who were his customers? People in the 716 area.

But that's not... First of all, he was arrested in West Virginia. He was. And he was doing it in Pennsylvania. This is a part of the reason why this is actually a very complicated case. 716 is Buffalo. That was where he was originally located. Yeah. Because he did move... And his girlfriend. That's funny. They're endangered. And that's unfortunate. All right. But the story, it's...

It's very complicated. That's why I'd say like, go read it on your own. You'd love this. He moved back and forth across the country. Often this man has been doing crimes, sex-based crimes for a very long time. And he's been arrested several times. He's done this back and forth. And one of them thing that is extremely, it's extremely difficult to figure out how to catch somebody who's done a bunch of different crimes in like four different States over a very short period of time. And he's traveling anonymously in a giant bus.

Now it's registered to him in Georgia But he had sold it, he bought it back It's like all this kind of shit That's one thing I don't want You bought the bus after it was used As the quote unquote bestiality bus And then what, you took a bunch of blind kids to the park? I mean, it's definitely You get a discount I don't know if they did Yeah, you gotta remodel it Cause you have all these blankets, you're being like, what's that smell? Nothing

What's that sound? No, that's my animal sound pack. He's a regular heel Cassidy. Neal Cassidy. Neal Cassidy. Of the bus. Further electric Kool-Aid acid. And heel as a dog's heel. Yes, heels are. Wow, Eddie. Wow.

I'm so glad we did this story Get on the bus Yeah they gave the dogs Tragic bus Yeah they gave the dogs rape kits And they found out that their vulvas were That's what I was going to skip I feel like that's the kind of information that people Expect to hear on side stories Well I'll tell you what If they wrote it in the paper I know

If Penn live, the Patriot news decided they wanted people to know this. Yes. Yeah, exactly. I, who am I? Yeah. I mean, I tell you what, my vulvas are just swollen thinking about it. So it's really bad. They call it the worst thing to ever happen in Gettysburg.

All the ghosts of the Civil War men just like sitting there all the years like, do you? And they're just sitting there like smoking as like ghosts watching a guy fuck a horse in a field just being like, so this is what this for us defending this grand union. This is what the future has.

You know the 3,000 to 5,000 horses were killed in Gettysburg and this is still the worst thing? To be honest, I bet those horses would rather have just been shot in the head. And they're like, hey, you know what? Honestly, why don't you just end it? All right? I'll die the old-fashioned way. What?

Not the old way. Oh, God. Well, I wanted to cover that story. That was all you. But we got it out. Honestly, it was really just about the bus and having it be a whole industry. Yeah. That this guy has been running for a long time. And it's irresponsible. Yeah. So let's get into Cult Alert. Heel Cassidy. Heel Cassidy. Write it down. Let's write it down. Live from Northland.

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choose your tone, enter what you need and get auto generated text. And that helps you save time. I know I'm sitting on about two literal wheelbarrows filled with horse pics. Now, part of the issue has been is a lot of these pictures are getting stopped at customs because some of them do depict various world leaders in horse-like circumstances that seems to be

pinging a lot of these custom agents accounts. Now, so what I've done to do is like, so while I'm trying to work on hand smuggling these horse picks over various country borders, uh,

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Now, I don't normally like to cover boutique cults, especially ones that are on the internet, because largely it... You're giving them advertising. It gives them advertising, but this one's really funny. Yeah. And that's why I wanted to. Now, this is one, it's got one of my favorite names of a cult that I've heard a long time. Profundity yours! Now, it is, they could still end up, who knows, like...

I guess legally, I have to say, I don't know if you'd call it a cult or not, but it sure does fucking seem like it. Now, this group is running out of a small town in Texas called Marietta. Marietta is about 130 people. But this group, Profundity Yours, started by the effervescent Linda Good McGillis.

which started around 2014, has essentially taken over this entire small town. They bought the only restaurant in town. Oh.

Right? So they're now... They're using it for meetings. They bought a ranch called the Emerald Sun City of Lights Ranch where they are now... A bunch of people are living on this land and they are not allowed to talk to their families because, again, if they talk to the families, they don't get the light energy inside of them that they need to get. Now, this woman... Now, Linda Good McGillis...

She says she's the second coming of Jesus Christ. Even though she looks like the second coming of Roddy Roddy Piper. And she does... She's more...

Rodney Dangerfield than Christ. She believes that she is the great I am, that she is connected to this energy, the I am, which is the I am stands for the intergalactic alliance of masters, which is the ascended masters, a group of super powerful people up in the sky. Dude, I once, one of my buddies from high school, he disappeared for a while, started worshiping this mountain. This Mount Shasta. And then he came back and he was hanging out with this dude named I am. Now I am is a common thread.

in a lot of cult talk. I am has been around since like the 1950s. There was a channeler. I forget her name that worked on the, I am energy. This has been around for a long time. You're blowing my mind right now. Yes. And it's, but it's a common phrase and a trope within cults and cult leaders to use because it sounds like a thing. Yeah. It sounds like a thing that would be real, but we will. Marcus has said that I wasn't allowed to, but I finally allowed, I'm going to be doing my channelers thing.

episode series at some point. I don't care if you all fall asleep because I'm fascinated with Chandler's. I think they're great. He died, by the way. Who? Chandler.

Oh, Bing? Yeah. Man, there's like five people going down for that, too. Oh, yeah. Everyone's going. I mean, every time a celeb like that dies, like they got the guy who killed Hoffman, the guy who killed Philip Seymour Hoffman. He's in prison forever. Oh, yeah. They're coming for him. The guy who killed Michael K. Williams. He's in prison forever. Yeah, they're coming for him. When you kill a good celebrity...

You go down. They want you. Yeah, they'll want to come get you because they don't want that ketamine, dude. So, McGillis, she believes that she is channeling these alien energies. She's the alpha. She's the omega. She doesn't like the word alien. No, she says it's racist. Yeah. Yeah, she says that it's racist. Yeah, they have to say extraterrestrial. The alien's racist. So, it was bad calling them a bing-bong, which we said is the B word for aliens. You can't do that with them. All right? Never with a hard G.

Now, McGillis, she said they bought... The thing about her is that she's completely batshit nuts. And really what's bad is that she's preying upon people that are looking to fix their...

trauma. So she started as like a group, like it started as this sort of like loose hangout group. And then slowly has become profanity yours of the last several years. Her husband was arrested for her heart, Mark Allen McNeely. He reportedly, he was her common law husband. They were together. He's currently serving 12 years on a child pornography conviction in Montana. So everything is coming up. McGillis, the great, it's a great family. You want to be involved.

Oh, and when he gets out, he's going to join them. Oh, of course. Yes, yes, yes, yes. Now, she now knows that people are paying attention to it, and she's getting really angry about it. But the thing about Linda McGillis is the way she works... I was talking about this with the crew right before we started recording about how...

If you're in a cult that has a physical location, I totally fucking get it. Like, that makes sense. I think getting into a cult on a... Like, going to a... Or going to some... Going to a guiana, right? Like, that kind of makes sense to me in a way. A beach or a volcano or a mountain or a forest. But if you get got over Zoom...

I don't understand. If we're doing cults remote here, I got to say zoom or Texas. I don't know, dude. I think no, this, all of this is over zoom. It's all over zoom and Facebook. And, but they now have a ranch. They are making it physical, but just this idea of being like, we're really going to be like, Oh, we're going to have a cult remote workers.

You know, like, oh, I think that they have to return to the office. And I'm sorry if that makes me a boomer about cults. All right. If you want to be in a cult, you go to a commune and you suck a weird man's with permanent sunglasses dick just like everybody else. What does she say to these people? So she does these communiques where she talks about and like,

I tried to pin it down. And a lot of it, it's about how like light is energy and you need to let it inside of you to transform. And you have to give me money for me to teach you these things to in order to quote unquote change your inverted solar coding. That's like one big term she uses. Another term is again, the intergalactic alliance of masters, like the concept of that there's ascended masters, ascended masters in the world of channeling is like, this is also kind of come from Madame Blavatsky, this concept that there is,

I know this information. Like if this is the term, when you see ascended masters, it's a cult leader saying, yeah, I know this information, but it's not that I'm special. Is that I've been granted access to,

to a group of special secret intelligences, often referred to as Ascended Masters. That'd be like a term. So they are, when someone says Ascended Masters, that means a group of people that are telling you what to do, do a bunch of bad shit to a bunch of people. It's a group of people who doesn't exist. Okay. Because they're over there.

Right? It's blaming your cult on being like, I wish that I could change the group's bankings. I wish that I could, but according to the Ascended Masters, this is the only way we can go towards the light. That style of stuff. So she's doing that, but also one of my favorites is that she says that we will get out of the belief of God

Right? Because God is not the belief. It's I am is the belief, but God, because God stands for generator, operator, destroyer. God is just I am fucking like consigliere.

Wow, generator operator destroyed. Yeah, I saw that. I was like, that's fucking awesome. That is kind of cool. Yeah, that's metal as fuck. I was like, I want that shirt, dude. That's fucking awesome. But yes, she mostly rambles. But the reason why we also covered is that she is isolating people. So it's guarding them to the point they're starting to round up. Yeah, they're doing that thing. They're doing round up. And there was a guy named Siren Warner. I don't know how you...

When it comes to TikTok, like investigators, I'm never that into it, but this guy actually has some great cuts on this cult. And this guy, I can't speak for the rest of his material, but this is a great video. Okay, great. And so what he did was he clipped out about how they, what they do is ramble about fucking people.

I mean, they're not even rambling. I've been keeping tabs on a New Age religious group in Texas called Profanity Yours, and I believe there's reason to be concerned. It's not that I think all the middle-aged members in matching uniforms are dangerous. They seem pretty tame. I'm not too concerned about the nonsense language they speak. I'm not too concerned about the nonsense language they speak.

Yeah, so they just start talking to me. She's got good, like... I also don't understand why every new cult woman leader, they all sound like Aunt Patty from The Simpsons. Oh, yeah. Because she is like...

I need you to understand what the type of energy is here. We need to find a balance in your energies. I really, there's something about that, though. Like, you know, I do respect women who talk like that. I feel like it's a new pattern. It feels like you know something. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, yeah. You sound like a fun waitress. I remember one time I was,

Delivering baby furniture for a while Baby furniture rentals Back in Florida Things that people ask for People just arrive with a bunch of weird baby furniture And threw it on the lawn I'll be back here in a week you cunt No it's baby furniture rentals It's like an actual business in South Florida Because old people live there And people visit them and they need to rent a crib

But I remember I'd spend these long-ass days going around, people yelling at me, calling me fat, calling me hammered all day long, trying to get me fired. I hated it. And then I had a really long day one time, and I remember the last one was in this shitty neighborhood, and it was just awful, and I couldn't, I was like, damn it, this is disgusting. And then I put a crib in this woman's house, and she was the nicest one of everyone. She's smoking a million cigarettes around all these kids, and then she hands me $10 at the end of the day, and she's like, go buy yourself a pack of cigarettes.

Like, no, ma'am. I'm sorry you scared me straight. But she gave me the biggest tip I got the entire time I worked there. I don't know what it is, because they love... You should see the mansions I put fucking cribs in. I know. They love. They love. A lady that sounds like that sounds like somebody you can trust for some reason. It sounds like somebody who's lived a lot of life. Oh, too much life. Too much life. But McGillis has lived too much life. And that is what you know as the Elohim, or

in the younger myth of creationals. This is my, this is what I'm talking about. I listened to this for three hours and this lady talks a nonstop clip about the idea that we are in, we need to separate our two realities that we are in one reality where we're here at now, but there's anotherality where we're up and down. And like, she's saying all this, like it's, it is, it's,

It is the most horse shit I've heard. She sounds like a computer with lips. I've read Dianetics and it's made more sense. Like it's that, like LRH was, the more and more I see. You love him. More and more. You love LRH. He's your favorite. They just don't fucking get it. They don't get it. LRH is the only one who did it right.

He did it right. Him, Joseph Smith. Yeah. He did it right. They knew what they were doing. They had a plan. It was creative. I mean, Joseph Smith didn't really have a plan. He was just sick of walking, and he saw a lake, and he was like, Jesus was here. Joseph Smith was a very, very skilled con man. I would put him up. I still view probably, it's like...

He's in the Cotton Man Hall of Fame. You think so? Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. He's living out Rushmore. He's met, and what he did was truly like, because Mormonism is still one of the third, I think it's the third biggest religion in the world. Mormonism? Yeah, it's huge. Mormonism is huge. Is that why all those books are in the hotels? That's because of a deal with Hyatt. Really? Well, that's something else. What was it? The Mormon, I forget why. It was something, there's something with the Book of Mormon. I don't remember.

I'm not going to act. I'm not going to say confidently why I know. Okay. Because I don't know. Fair enough. But they did something. You learned off of your Karen Reid mistakes. I try to. I try not to talk. If I'm talking out of my ass, it's because I'm trying to. Yes. Yeah. If I'm not, I'm trying not to. Speak with confidence. Yeah, it's every day. How do you think I got here, folks?

How do you think I did this? So what's going to happen to this woman? Nothing. Nothing? Right now, we'll see. Right now, it's just the beginning. Something will happen. Some sort of bullshit is going to end up coming out. People are just mostly getting concerned about the fact they are currently isolating themselves. Is Profundity Yours like a religion? Profundity Yours! Profundity Yours! No, it is Profundity Yours, a society of diverse humans coming together now to co-create a new environment. One of the... Oh, wait, actually, let me take it back.

Profundity yours is a society of diverse humans coming together now to co-create a new environment. One of the empowered gratitude and heart-based living as one with the earth. Each one of us contributes wisdom, experience, and limitless perspectives on a new way of being, living, and participating in life.

We choose to live by higher morals, ethics, honesty, and integrity. We encourage heart-based. It's heart-based living. That's the thing. It's heart-based. All right. Through building strong foundations of trust, genuineness, and authenticity. Our community grows and we expand through offerings and love blessings of others as we walk hand in hand with each other in humble gratitude, grace, truth, faith.

And love. So that's who they are. Cool. Their mission is to live as one with the earth. Whole heart, whole mind, whole soul, whole spirit. Promote, apply, embody spirit. A.K.A. Peabody means nothing. Purpose. We bring the wisdom of the ways of the ancients to the present reality whilst letting go of the modernization enslavement by living our ancient futuristic knowing. Yeah. I wish. If I could just live my ancient futuristic knowing, I wouldn't need to have a job. That's what she's saying.

That is actually, that's not, sounds nice. I just don't know how, I guess we have to, the first thing you're going to want to do is going to go down, you're going to get me a pack of Paul Moles, and then you're going to call my ex-husband, and you're going to tell him, go fuck yourself. He's coming, he loves it. Oh no, that's my ex-husband. This is my current husband. I love what he does. I don't care about the child pornography because children grow. Ha!

And then every child becomes a lady. And then it's... Then it's game on. Then we can all take a piece. Sorry, I'm getting a message. Live from Northway.

School is back, and Dick's Sporting Goods has what you need to win your year. Shop the hottest styles from the best brands like Nike, Jordan, FP Movement, Adidas, and Stanley. Stop by your local store or visit dicks.com for fast shipping. Now you're ready to win your year. This is a Reese's Peanut Butter Cup sound experiment. We're looking to find the perfect way to hear Reese's so you'll buy more of them. Here we go. Reese's. Reese's. Reese's.

Reese's. Reese's. Hey, get out of here, you little stinker. Reese's. Reese's. Reese's. Peanut butter cups. That breathy one sounded very creepy, am I right?

I love crazy people. You know who else is crazy? It's Danica Patrick. I love Danica Patrick. I did not know. So Danica Patrick, who is a Formula One driver, right? Thank you.

Wasn't that what she was? She was like beautiful. She did both. Isn't her thing? She did NASCAR? Yeah, she did both of them. Isn't Danica Patrick, she also like, but wasn't she like famous for a while? She was the first woman to do it. Yeah, but now she's apparently She was awesome. She's completely

completely insane now now apparently she went she got she did her lizard people podcast apparently i didn't know about any of this yeah so sad she had a long thing about how she believes there's another another again it's these terms that come up so think about this they treated her like shit think about all the stuff that i just said right about like i said new earth blah blah here's here's what danica patrick is saying people in the past quote unquote found solution for cancer but they were

killed off. We're seeing the uprising, like, quote, new earth frequency. People getting murdered over free energy technology. 5G is poisoning us. You're also saying here, obviously all the UFO is fine, all the UFO stuff is real, that's kind of the new, that's unfortunately, I'm going to have to say that that makes sense.

In the next four years, the celebrity reptilians will all shapeshift into their true forms because of these so-called truth love vibrations. Those who do not wish to show their true forms will quote-unquote transmute into the light, a.k.a. pass away. So they're going to die, right? So according to her, Justin Bieber is going to accidentally shapeshift on stage in front of thousands. He canceled his tour. He's not doing it. Honestly, you know who's going to do it? It's fucking Taylor Swift.

Who's going to flip it on all of us. We got to be free to her. We're going to be afraid of her 2028. You know who she used to date? Who? Aaron Rodgers. She dated Aaron Rodgers. Oh yeah. Oh yeah. No, they're all crazy, dude. They're all connected. It's so weird. Taylor Swift is next, dude. No, she's not. She's going to flip her people. She's going to flip them. She's doing great. She's fine.

She's gonna flip them She's way more than fine I'm just saying, yeah, she's doing fine I'm just saying, we gotta watch her Everyone's watching her I'm saying, but we gotta like With one foot in to the mania One foot out I don't mind the music, I don't even care about the music I don't like the music, but I respect her as a person She has too much strength And we gotta be careful I think she's good Good human is a better way to say it How do you know that?

Because she gave a bunch of money to everyone who works for her. Yeah, but that's just so they don't snitch. Snitch $100 million to everybody. So she doesn't snitch, dude. That's fucking body money, dog. That's hide money, body. I don't know what they've got going on backstage, dog. Man, who cares if she's giving out $100 million? I don't know, man. Everybody's got a price, don't they? Yeah. Wow. You give me more, you can treat me worse. My price is exactly $7,000. $7,000.

Exactly Alright, so Danica did do a bunch of mushrooms Yeah We have an energetic responsibility to clear all of these energies and basically we have to stop telling kids that Santa's real and say that ghosts are real I agree with that, to be honest with you I don't like the Santa Claus thing I told you my perspective is go deeper in Why are we just lying to children? They should just get used to it now Mommy bought the gifts Daddy worked hard

I fucking bought them. Not Santa Claus. There's no fucking elephants. You're not having a child. Elephants, elves. We're not having kids. This is why we're not having kids. You know also why we're not having kids is that I also saw three, I mean this, three different stories in the last month of a kid killing their parents. There was one, it was a Mormon kid that was, that transitioned to

a girl and then flipped out and killed her parents in cold blood, double tapped both of them and then almost shot, killed her brother. Then there was another one. It was a young girl who was 15 years old, stabbed her mother in her sleep because he said her mother was trying to deny her blackness. Oh my God. Um, Dwight, she was white also by the way. And then, um, and then another kid shot his mom and his dad. I was like, Ooh, I'm, I got to get this vasectomy. Yeah. I have got to get this shit. It,

Because it is. Yeah. Because the whole. All right. A toddler has now shot someone every week for two solid years in America. We've got to be careful, man. We got to fucking. This is what I'm saying, dude. We got to be careful. We got to be. He's kids, man. For two years. Every week. A toddler has shot somebody in America. Shit's too hard here. Toddlers. What? Four and under? Yeah. Yeah.

That's wild. Shit's too hard here, man. It shouldn't be like that. We should say, oh, toddlers are at the height of playing with blocks this year. Like, that shouldn't be. It should be, oh, toddlers have loved the letter G the most this year. I'd say, at the very least, we should make it harder to pull a trigger.

I think you should have more hand strength. Yeah, yeah. I don't think a toddler should be physically able to pull the trigger of a gun. That's a little too easy. Unless... Now, hear me out, Eddie. Every toddler gets a gun. Oh, okay. That makes sense. The only thing to stop a toddler with a gun is a good toddler with a gun. That's a great idea, Henry.

That's a good idea. I appreciate that. Alright, one in five toddlers gets a grenade. Listen, one in five toddlers gets a grenade. Let's see how it happens. One in five toddlers is a grenade. Fuck yeah, dude. It's like crack. That'd be fucking awesome. Yeah, what a horrible week. So yeah, go, go, go. We gotta be careful. So there was a couple weeks ago we were going to talk about

Something that we decided to skip Whereas a woman in California was mauled And killed by a black bear Oh yeah, because she had got into that She got into a car accident That's the story And then the bear came and fished her out of the car While she was laying there dying Yeah, and it was the first time a black bear Has mauled someone to death in California Yeah Alright, and so But apparently the story has now gone deeper The bear...

was stalking the woman for months so this is the same story this is the same story it's a black bear so if it's a different story i mean it's the only time a black bear has killed someone in what's her name her name is patrice miller 71 year old patrice miller um she's a black bear was harassing her for months and ended up breaking into her home and killing her

What the living fuck, dude? What did she do? Did she pirate like Winnie the Pooh? No, she was just bad at taking out her trash, unfortunately. That shouldn't be punishable by death. No, well, in bear culture it is. She used to call the bear the big bastard.

And she always say the big bastards coming to my house and stuff. And everyone, and everyone would talk. She'd always tell people about the bear that was coming to her house all the time. And then she went missing for a couple of days. So this is not, I'll just clarify. This is not the same story as the, the accident with the bear. Yeah. It's not the car. It was a, it was the, it was, it was the bear attacked her in her living room. Okay. So now when I'm looking at this, is that so she knew that this bear was coming around and,

Yeah, it was just hanging around her house for months Now, she knew it enough And she knew that it was coming after the stuff Her garbage, right? It appeared that the bear had been Probably been there for several days And been feeding on her remains After it killed her This is crazy, she installed steel bars across her windows To try to keep the bear out Before it broke her fucking door down He said that the bear broke an It's a black bear too Black bears usually don't kill people

So this is like a big fucking weird thing. What the living fuck? This bear had a mission to kill this woman. Whoa. It had a vendetta against her. Well, it's like it hurt him. I bet she would come out and scream at it and throw cans at it and shit. Like, ah, get out of here. Yeah. You dumb bear. Get out of here. For months. Wow. And then one day that bear is like. Snapped. It's time to regulate.

That's like the first thing you thought. It's just like, yeah, baby. Guess big bastard is here. Now this is the big bastard's house. Yeah.

And then it just fucking, like, and then it ripped her to shreds. Holy shit. Yeah, pulled her from her bed into the living room. Oh, that's what it is. They first thought that maybe it was attracted that she had died in the house and she was, like, attracted to the smell. Yeah. That's what they thought, but no. No, the bear broke in her house and fucking killed her in her bed and then ate her in the living room and fed on her for a while. At least it was just sitting in her living room eating her and shitting all over the place. She didn't go to waste. No. No.

No, she didn't. But that's like... So then they put the bear down? Of course they put the bear down. Was it sitting on the couch watching TV? It's a man eater. But at that point, is it just living in the house? Is it taking showers and is eating out of the fridge? If you break into someone's house and you eat them, you don't get the deed. I feel like you should. I feel like if you cannibalize the people, that's your house. That's your house.

You've consumed a thing. Isn't it true that if you get the deed in your hand, it's your deed? No. That if you get the deed... It has to be signed over to you. Why isn't there every movie? Isn't there a movie in television and cartoons? Are you talking about Tombstone? Have you seen... Yes. But is it a deed? That's what I thought. I thought you could take a deed. Times are different. It's mine. Now, like, if you crack open a safe, it's like, now your house is mine, old lady. Right?

You're talking about a time that was like 10 years ago there were slaves. That's when that was going down.

A lot of stuff's changed. But yeah, apparently in town they never saw bears back in the day, but now they're everywhere. Well, this is the truth. This is across California. Bears are like, because what's happening is they are making a comeback, which is good in one way, but it's bad in another way. It's because we're destroying their environment and they're moving more towards the cities. They're running out of their actual food in the forests and they're moving towards the cities looking for food. And that's kind of like what we're seeing. We're seeing in our neighborhood that

We're getting a massive influx of coyotes. Coyotes are fucking everywhere. It's because they're leaving the hills and they're coming down into the valley. Yeah, that happened a lot during COVID, but now it's happening again, which is weird. It's because they're running out of natural food or something is happening that's bringing them out. And they're fine. I guess with a coyote, you can just kick it in the head and it'll run away. Yeah, no, you can beat a coyote off, but it's like five coyotes you can't beat off.

No, because if I got five coyotes, I need a baseball bat. I'm beating off coyotes all the time. That's different. And they are wily. You're trying to ingratiate yourselves to them. And that's the difference. Call me the load runner. Yeah, yeah. And like, I like that guy's house. I draw a giant vagina on the side of a mountain. Yeah.

Oh, shit. That's called vore. Yeah. Being sliding into that. All right, let's see what else. Hack me, Fleshlight. That's... All right, we got a couple other... Do I have other stories here? How long have we been doing?

What? How long? 50 minutes. God damn it, Rob! How long has it been? How long has it been? 50? 50. 5-0? 50. Well, listen, before... I just want to talk about this for two seconds because I know something's going to happen before the end of the week. Yes. And I just want to bring it up. We're studying this. We're going to find out what's going on. But there are two astronauts stuck in space because Boeing fucked up again. Dude, Boeing also sort of semi-admitted that they do... They have... There was like a representative of the company that said he believed there had been like...

what's the term, like, revenge-like behavior from Boeing towards some of the whistleblowers. It sounds like it's not just straight-up whacking them necessarily, but it's ruining their lives, which is leading them to commit suicide or die of weird diseases, but it's also, like, I'm starting to... I don't think Boeing... They're not killing them, but they're giving them diseases. LAUGHTER

I think that Boeing is not doing well. Yeah. And I think that they're just so important, you know, and they just do so many things. And then the astronauts being left up there. I know the astronauts technically sign on to die. Yeah, I guess so. But it's been a long time. They don't sign on to die. No. They sign on and saying, if I die. Yeah, then I'm fine with it because I'm an astronaut. But there was a leak before.

before they left. Well, do they go... This is actually sidestorieslpotlgmail.com because I'd love to talk to somebody who knows more about that. Yeah. Because I feel like what it is... Well, this is very much a developing story. Very much so. And I would love to know if...

If there is, as I imagine there is a series of protocols that you have to fulfill before you could take off. And then I also wonder if the pilots themselves are like, oh, that's an issue we can handle later. Or are they just not told? Like, are they not? Is that the thing where they're looking at it and they decide to go ahead because, oh, hey, actually, maybe this is like a thing that we can fix up there. Yeah. Because but I don't know if that's how that works. I imagine if anything's broken on a fucking space shuttle, they would stop it.

But maybe they can't. Maybe it's too expensive. Maybe it literally gets to a point where once the train's rolling out the fucking station that you can't stop it. I don't know. Yeah, I mean, what are they supposed to do? They're fucking up there. I mean, they're fucked. They're scheduled to come home on July 2nd. So we'll see if that happens. So why are they going to die? Is it just because they just have no more resources and they're just stuck? There's a helium leak. So they're losing like...

So they can't talk in funny voices to each other and they're going to lose morale? Yeah, I think that's what it is and they're both going to commit suicide. No, I don't know. I don't know how fucking spaceships work. All right? I'm not. They're either just Boeing apparently.

They're going to stop asking us to come in and consult. They said maybe we shouldn't break our NDA right now, but actually it's been eight months. Yeah, no, we've been consulting on a lot of the new Boeing craft, and they've asked us for a lot of our opinions. I came in, I was like, yo, Wyatt

Isn't this shit leaking helium? And they're like, I'm sorry, Ed. We'll make it leak helium. Poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke, poke. He brought a pencil. He just stuck a bunch of holes in the helium balloons. I don't fucking know, dude. I told him, hey, why don't you make space shuttles not stupid anymore? Yeah, man. Don't make them fucking dumb. Fucking whatever, dude. Put a fucking, I want a flaming skull on one, man. Goddamn space idiots.

You don't know how to fucking run a business, Boeing. Fuck you, dude. I hope these astronauts live. I like astronauts. We all like astronauts. Remember the insult, your mother's an astronaut? Yeah, what was that? That never made sense to me. Why was that? It's like a compliment. That's a weird one. Right? Your mom was an astronaut. Yeah, why was that a thing? Maybe it was because it was close to the Challenger.

So your mother died in a fucking explosion? Your mother's an astronaut. Right here. Okay, this is what it says. All right. Astronaut. His mom was a spaced out junkie. Oh. A druggie, therefore being all messed up. Is that what they really say? They don't just say your mom's a fucked up junkie? Yeah. They don't just say that? Because I feel like that's way to the point. Astronaut's a really nice way of saying your mom's a junkie. It was made famous by white men can't jump. Yeah, I remember that. That's right. Oh, yeah. Your mom was an astronaut.

Hey, leave my mama out of this. Yeah. Yeah, because that's the thing. It's like, oh, me saying your mother's an astronaut is just another way of saying you're all fucked up. Mm-hmm. Well, and we learned that. Did you ever hear that Big Bird was supposed to be on The Challenger? We talked all about this. Oh, yeah? We did. We talked. We did a whole breakdown. I did it with Marcus. Oh, okay. I was going to say. I did a whole breakdown with Marcus about how we believe. I do forget everything the moment I walk out of this room. Marcus and I talked about how he believes that life

But literally American history would have been different if Big Bird was killed on the Challenger. Oh, yeah. Like, if he had exploded the Challenger a lot of shit. And then we brought up all the various ways that everything else could be different. You know, I saw the Challenger explode. Yeah? Yeah, when I was a kid. I was in preschool. And they all brought... I was around Orlando. And they brought us outside to see the space shuttle launch. We saw it explode. You did nothing to stop it. I did nothing to stop it. I probably took a nap.

I guess that's another NDA broken. NDA. No dogs allowed. No dogs allowed. Not on the tragic bus. The tragic bus. All right, let's do some listener emails. Now, Eddie brought up a really gross thing last week, but not a gross thing, but it was like a inside view to Eddie's mind that I didn't understand. And apparently you tripped into a whole world. Now, you said your favorite thing in the world is the thigh meat.

That is above the end of a thigh-high sock leading up to the top of the hem of a short skirt. You said that that was your favorite thing. Not my favorite thing, but I really like it. But you like it a lot. I like it a lot. You like it a lot. I like it a lot. And guess who else really likes it? Lots of people. The entire island of Japan. Ooh. Apparently. I like Japan. According to a listener.

The thigh-high socks to skirt hem strip of thigh meat actually has a name in Japanese because it's so fetishized. Zetiai Ryoki. No, I don't know how to correctly pronounce it, but I do know how to wear it. And I know that it gets me laid by my filthy weeb of a partner. That's party listener number two. I don't think that's that difficult. Sorry.

But listen, number two, all right, listening to the new episode right now, and I'm so glad to finally have something to email you on. When Andy was talking about the area of exposed thigh, when someone wears knee-high high socks, it's also called absolute territory. Okay. It was a big time. It was a big term. I saw my early days in 4chan's anime board, which I think really derived from Neon Genesis Evangelion. I can totally see that, right? Yeah.

The higher the stocking and shorter the skirt, the more powerful the absolute territory becomes. I can see that. There's nothing cuter, sexier than a glimpse of skin. Happy to continue to see Eddie be a man of taste. Look at this! Yep.

People are with me. I think that's great. It's fine. And you don't like it. You know what it is? I'm not into the schoolgirl aesthetic. It doesn't have to be a schoolgirl skirt. It's very much so in the realm of the schoolgirl territory because of the socks and skirt. What are you trying to say to me? I'm just saying it's not wrong because a schoolgirl can be 30. Anyone can wear it. Girls go to school at every age. Women go to school, right? You don't got to be. You can be 40 and be a schoolgirl.

If you dress like one, if you go to school, you learn to read. School woman. School woman. Every woman loves to hear that. I'm here for my GED. Yeah, all right, you school woman. Don't you look at my sign name.

Hey, you should have left it out. You should have left it out. Yeah, there's the absolute territory. Yeah, it is mostly, yes, I believe this. It is coming from, it's a Catholic schoolgirl uniform aesthetic that I think comes from your high school. I went to Catholic school. I think it literally comes from your high school. Wow, that's crazy. This is from back in the day. Not high school, grade school. Yeah, this is an

old idea in Ed's mind. Wow. Yeah. We learned something. I learned something. About yourself. Yeah. Because I like legs and I like meat. I love legs. I like meat, but I like all of it. I like all of it too, but if I were to order it, not on a menu, like number one, number two, legs be in the top five parts on a woman. This is also how they did it on the tragic bus.

because you know what they say my dog's four legs no waiting no all right here we go this is a concerning email all right what is it they're all concerning by the way this one is very concerning okay all right of course i'm writing to you now because of the latest episodes now how is it that i have a child that is a cannibal it's not really that black and white

They're not a practicing cannibal. They've never actually consumed human flesh. However, they have had cannibalistic urges since they were a toddler. When they were two, they would say things like, I would like to eat somebody. I'm going to eat you. I will gobble you up.

But when you hear things like that come out of a two-year-old's mouth, you don't really take it seriously. No. As they got older, they confided in me that they were hearing voices. And the voices were telling them to do horrific things, and they felt the urge to consume human flesh. Okay. Of course, we put them in counseling immediately. After a while, they were finally diagnosed with psychosis. They've been on antipsychotics and are still continuing counseling. They know they shouldn't consume human flesh, but they don't understand why.

I've explained why in society you wouldn't do that and the health reasons behind it. It's going to be a long road, obviously, but we will get there all body parts intact, uneaten. I do not fear my child. I love them with all my heart. I do not think that I will ever be consumed. We have a healthy relationship and they're very open with me. Although we do take it seriously, we do joke around about it as well.

Mental illness doesn't have to be scary all the time. It's like a battle of nature versus nurture. And with my child, with any luck, having a good environment and loving parents wins everything.

So hopefully this is one cannibal you guys will never hear about in the news. And I actually think that that is one of the weirdest, brightest lights I've heard in a second. Because what we've talked about endlessly over the years is people like Jeffrey Dahmer, Ed Gein, Armin Mivas. Imagine if there was a place that they could say in a safe way, I'm having these horrendous thoughts. Yeah. And I need help.

So I think that's largely towards the youngness of this kid that they were able to be so open with their parents and the fact that it was happening this early. We now know Armin Mivas had the same cannibalistic fantasies as a little boy. We know that BTK was also having S&M fantasies as a little boy. Just came out of the fucking pipe like that. Just that's how they were.

So that I like, it's funny and it's, it's scary, but there's also like a thing in there. Like that's what real love is, is someone saying to you something like this and want before they commit a crime or do something really fucked up. You're, you don't know judgments. You say, I'm here to help. I'm going to do it first. I'm because you need help. And you're not just fucked up. We're fucked up. So don't slap them a bunch. Well,

Unless it's with a piece of flank steak. Yeah. God, that would help me as a boy. Yeah. Now, do you like, is it good? Like, do you think he should like lean into it a little bit and be like, make them meals that look like people? I think no. Nope. Why not? I think that continues to strengthen the fantasy. Now, what if someone like this showed up to one of your cannibal parties? Oh, when I do the cannibal parties? Yeah. I will gladly, obviously, you know, I'll take their ticket money.

And I'll take a picture with them And that's it I'm not a therapist You know, I can't get in there And if they told me they weren't actually a cannibal And they're doing this as a dry run I've been waiting to eat somebody for years, Henry Zabrowski I'd be like, hey buddy, you know, welcome to the club I'm glad you're here doing this in this way Because if you Can get out of your system Eating a bunch of prosciutto shaped like a butt Mm-hmm

No harm, no foul. No harm, no foul. And if you can just eat it that way. That should have been the name of that guy's chicken fuck bus. It seems like it's all harm. All.

All harm, all foul. All harm, all foul. We got a lot of videos. I think we did enough. I think we've done enough today. I think we've done enough. Can I do a quick plug? Please. I'm going to be doing stand-up tomorrow night in Burbank at the Moose Lodge. You lucky, lucky boy. Oh my God, there's a new stand-up show. Vintage comedy. I don't know what to expect. I'm part of a bunch of comics. We're doing some time. Who's hosting?

Corey Jacobs is hosting. Oh, that sounds familiar. Yeah. He owns Yes Baby Vintage and Burbank and stuff like that. Yes, yes, yes. But yeah, the Burbank Moose Lodge Vintage Comedy, 8 p.m., $10. Come on down. I'm doing like 10 minutes. Maybe I'll run the light a little bit. You know, come check it out. I'll shake some hands. I fucking love to see you guys. That's Thursday night.

What is that? The 27th of June. I'm going to reach out to our listeners and see who's out there in the New York comedy scene because Eddie and I want to do a goddamn bar show when we're in town. Yes. We want to do a good New York bar. And so that's the thing. It has to be good. Yeah. Like you can't suck.

So you have to look at it. I miss the shitty shows. That's why I'm doing the moose sludge. I like a shitty show that's good. That's what I want. I want a shitty show that's good. So book us on your shitty show that's actually very good. We need two microphones. Yes. Because we really want to do something when we're in town. Henry spits when he talks. I talk like a professional. Yeah.

It's a little everyday Begging to be booked in a basement In the worst section of the One of the worst cities in the world And you love the fact that when you get on that stage Those hipsters they might look at you like You're the world's oldest man But they don't know that you invented

The laughter that they are experiencing. All right? And they're going to have to live with the fact that they weren't there in 2006 when we began it all. I mean, we started before then. I'm just saying what they know. Yeah. Started in 2003. But they don't fucking understand anything in terms of these fucking movies. So that show is going to be at the King's Theater December 7th. And so we're looking for our gig on Sunday night.

On December 8th, fuck it. Well, I was thinking, yeah, because Friday night we're going to be in Philly. Friday night we're in Philly doing Side Stories Live December 6th. I think that's sold out, but maybe there might be a tick or two left. Also going to be doing Side Stories Live on September 13th in Chicago at the Park West, which is a beautiful theater. Oh, yeah. Yeah, so December 8th. All right.

Casey James Salango? I know you listen, you fuck. Casey James Salango, yeah! Yeah, he hit me up. He hit me up. Yeah, get us on a show, Casey. Alright, fuckers. December 8th. Alright, I love you guys. Go to patreon.com slash podcast on the left to watch us talk on the last podcast on the left. You will like it. And there's many other fun-ass shit. We got BTS stuff that's flowing. It's really, really good. Listen to No Dogs in Space. Comes out tomorrow!

He's wearing the merch. The new Can series is finally coming out. Can't wait for you guys to see that. They've been working real hard on it. And go to twitch.tv slash LPN TV to see all of our Twitch shows. You're fading. This is good. Listen to the brighter side. We should get out of here before your fucking lungs explode. Glass podcast on the left.com for tour tickets. If you can even handle how good it is and go on to YouTube.

Good Pudcast is live. Yes! The Good Pudcast is live. Dude, a lot of things are fucking shaking down over here. We're working on a lot of stuff. It's crazy. We're making a lot of stuff. July 11th is going to be the Hoop-a-Goo-Goo game special. Yes, we're going to be starting our actual... We're making our own fucking... It's a game show. It's going to be the Brighter Side versus Page 7 on Hoop-a-Goo-Goo game. So go check out Good Pud. Go check out all...

We're fucking shooting, dude. We got our fucking stuff going, man. And tonight on Twitch, you can watch Brighter Side Live at 6 p.m. Pacific, 9 p.m. Eastern. And Spun right before that. Yeah. Be good, you guys. Hellsittin'. Peace. Absolute Territory. Is that what it's called? Absolute Territory. Send in your best depictions of Absolute Territory for Eddie at sidestories at lpotl.com. I don't want to see it. I don't want to know. I like it in the wild. I don't like it presented.

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