Side Stories: Sky Poop
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Did you know that you can watch Last Podcast on the Left and Side Stories on our Patreon right now? Yes, that's patreon.com slash lastpodcastsontheleft. But over on TikTok, you can see the hottest, tightest, funniest clips from the show right there. It's TikTok. TikTok. It's at LP on the left. It's the same as our Instagram. You already follow the Instagram. Why don't you go follow TikTok? But it's on TikTok. Yeah, because...

is believe it yep so just go check it out watch it go send our podcast to china i love tiktok the crocodile it's my favorite tiktok that's the only one he knows there's no place to escape to this is the last on the left side stories that's when the cannibalism started side stories yes ready to shit and fuck

Ready to fucking shit. Which one do you prefer? Oh, I must shit first. Yeah. Although it does kind of ruin the energy. Hold on, baby. I got to shit. Honestly, she prefers it. Yeah? I think so. Then holding it in? Yeah. Well, she doesn't know I'm holding it in. Exactly. But yeah, it's ruining my time. It's ruining your time, but what about her time? Let's get to the content. I just want to say someone asked me, my wife,

asked me over the phone how my new... Because I'm medicated now, as you can see. Yeah. You've been taking some stuff. You're looking good. Look how chill I am. Yeah, you got a tie-dye shirt on. I don't think it's really... Backwards hat. Weirdly, I don't think it's affected my rage. And then she asked me, like, how do you know...

if it's working. And I said, oh, it's working great. And then I had explained to her when she got home from being out of town, she was like, have you noticed my mouse pad's all cracked? Oh yeah, what'd you do there? Did you punch it? I shattered it. How? Sharpening knives while watching body cam footage.

I was like, this is... That is borderline illegal. I was sharpening a knife. That is like... I mean, this is... I mean, maybe we should cut this out. Watching police footage. Yeah. Of Karens getting busted. Man, it is, you know... It's how we relax now. It is.

Is them just getting their life ruined? But it's how I relax. I think that so many... Oh, like sharpening your knives? Yeah, I do it for hours. I don't... There's something about the metal on the metal that, like, hurts the back of my mouth. Yeah, even you doing that bothers me. There's a guy who will sharpen them for five bucks each. And this is coming from someone who used to be a chef. This is so much better to give it to the guy. I have so much fun sharpening... Are they sharp? Are they sharp?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And you got one of those like sharpening beating sticks. It's fun, dude. But yeah, I got all because I got too heavy into the dabs this week because I was there by myself. I was talking. I literally presented old boy to Carmi and Wendy. I sat down on the couch. Don't leave town again. I was extremely stoned. I was literally going like, oh, this is the pinnacle.

of revenge films. This is some of the best filmmaking. And they... Carmi knows about revenge. No, Carmi actually... There was like when he said, I want to eat something alive. Carmi stood up, went outside. She ate a pigeon. Came back in. Welcome to Side Storytime. Henry Zabrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. How you doing, everybody? Yeah, buddy. But I still got it. That's what it shows. I could be Zolofted to the fucking hairline, man. But you best not come at me and miss...

Yeah. All right. I'll keep that in mind. I'll make sure I destroy you mentally whenever I insult you, I guess. I could be light on you. Slowly. Just do it slowly. Just do it slowly.

We got a lot of updates today. A lot of show. A lot of show. Big stuff happening. Henry and I had a big night this week. Yeah, we saw Andre 3000 playing New Blue Sun. That was fucking incredible. It was unbelievable. Talk about... Locked up our phones. Fucking got in the zone. Everybody was so cool in that room. Yeah. Too cool. Yeah, the Masonic Lodge. Yeah. At the Hollywood Forever Cemetery. Which we did the very first last podcast and left live show in LA at...

Really? That was the very first show we did in LA. Besides when we watched Haxan at a live theater, we did commentary on it. It's such a cool venue. It was beautiful. Especially with that like Illuminati stained glass window above the stage. No, that was a really good fun. It was like, it's good to dial in. I honestly, I am in a free jazz period. Yeah, well you're like, you're taking flute

Flute mode, which is something you've had for a year now. And now you're taking it to the next fucking level. I fucking love it, dude. Yeah, you love your flutes now. I just fucking bliss out. How about Lizzo? I...

What about her? She's a flute player. She sings words. But she flutes. She flows flute. She sings words. I like it now. Now I like, I listen to the opening section. I can't even fucking pronounce it. It's like Journey to, oh God, I'm not even going to try. Journey to Shindor. But you know what I mean?

It is with Alice Coltrane and Pharaoh Sanders. And I swear to God, I was walking to Alice more. Dude, I was walking to the obviously again, I was home alone. I got stoned on the weekend. I went, I walked down the street and I was just fucking like, I forgot where I was going. Yeah. I'm listening to chimes, dude. And then I showed it to Natalie and she, she had the nerve to say, this sounds like dentist shit.

office waiting room music. No, not dentist. I was like, you got to get in there though. I was just like, the thing is, is that you're too, this is three o'clock in the afternoon. IVF office. Not dentist. Dentist is like news. I thought the IVF office was all being like, get on my pony. No. Get on a pony.

No, you've given up on fucking... I thought it was all about like... You was all just keep sweat. Nah, nah, nah, nah, nah. Oh, well. Well, yeah. But yeah, no, I've been having a good time with your flute music too. I'm slowly getting in. Expand it, dog. Yeah. This is my... I'm in a free jazz period. The light show. Everything's... They had a glass of water on stage and they beamed the light at it. That was fucking awesome. But then also, there was that Carlos Nino's guy. Yes. That everyone... That I was making fun of after the show because...

I now have to eat some crow because on the stream, I talk some shit about quote-unquote multi-instrumentalists because I thought it was funny to do, but apparently that guy, his name was like Hernando De Soto. I forget who he was on the stream. Oh, from last stream? Yes, where he just made crazy noises and shit, and then it turns out he's brilliant. I went to go listen to some of his stuff. He's brilliant. Carlos Nino's like that. So after the show, there was a guy on stage in the Andre 3000 show where the whole thing he did was play pom-frons, and he had like a

Like literally like he was trying to keep Jesus cool. It was amazing. He had a box of rocks that he just stuck his hands in. And then you had the maracas. I didn't understand half of the instruments. He had like a tube. He was going like, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa, whoa. He was spinning in a circle. And I didn't know. I don't even know if that tube was making noise. To be honest, I think it was an energy thing. It's something. So I've felt it.

Right. And then we left. And then I was talking about, I was like, now that guy's got the fucking life. All he does is wave leaves around, plays with rocks. Everybody's sucking this guy's dick. And this guy turned around mean. He was like, that was Carlos Daniel.

Carlos Nino is a legend. And so it was just like, all right, there is brother. I had no idea. I'm sorry, Pedro Nino. I didn't know whether or not, and then he showed me afterwards. I went and I listened to a bunch of stuff with Carlos Nino and it's great. You got to send it to me. It's just all man. But again, you got to get it. You can't, it's not sober listening. Oh man. I do like it in the morning. I'm recording. I'm stoned.

You know, like, unless I'm here, like, the moment the show is over, I got weed in my back. Actually, it's in my pocket. Oh, that's what that smell is. I thought he just gunked. No, no, no. I got, oh, this shit's good. It's pure beauty. Oh, I like these ones because they look like cigarettes. It kind of feels like, these ones are fun because these are pre-rolls that look like cigarettes. And what's fun about them is that you can light them up anywhere.

They're the best. That's bad, though. All right, guys. We smoked a joint in the graveyard. Love doing that. Love doing that. Love smoking joints in graveyards. I was blowing weed at graves. Yeah, man. Being like, fucking dog, don't you fucking get high, dude. I want to put an ashtray on your grave. Yeah. That should be part of your grave. I would love that. Well, I want it in my tomb. Yeah.

Right on, oh yeah, a tomb. You gotta go inside. I want a glass case inside of a tomb. That's my goal. Flute music playing. Yeah. And also Andre 3000. Then I did learn like, yes, his flute playing is a little bit more of the basic side, but he's very, very, it's fun. It's fun as fuck. Whatever he was doing. He gets the vibes. Because then I listen to some real ass flute. I mean, they go...

Man, you guys have to be terrors at eating pussy. Yeah, oh my God. Can you imagine that? I mean, Andre was already good before the flute. Oh, I can't even imagine. Now I can suck a dick. Yeah, no. Can you imagine him working the clit hole with that fucking flute flutist tongue? Oh my God. Honestly, I think it's too much. I wonder if he could play a pussy. Well, he'd probably make the woman go, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh, oh.

He's putting his finger on her asshole to chase the bitch. Baby, let me cover your ears real quick. I got something. Have you met my ocarina? I'm your girlfriend. Andre.

We're incredible. But also, like, his VIP section looked like the cantina scene from Star Wars. Oh, my God. Those are the coolest looking human beings. I don't know how we ended up in this room. I don't know. Like, literally, everyone was so cool. Yeah, yeah. It was fun. It was fun as fuck. It was one of those situations where I was like, am I allowed to be here? I think we should just act like we're not here. I bought a hoodie and I was like, am I allowed

Can I have this? It was fun as fuck. All right, let's get to some, we got some updates. Yeah. What I love about the March Madness bracket that we just did, third decennial, everyone obviously is very popular. Everyone loves it.

But what I also appreciate We made some mistakes I appreciate the rage I received back The Anton Chigurh thing I want to just apologize for right now We just didn't understand It just happened We were excited, we were getting in there We were rolling through it and it's hard to fight

You can't stop in the middle. Yeah, no. It's hard. Yeah. Yeah, because then he got the seed anyway. He won. Obviously, he filled out the paperwork. Yeah. But I think, you know, here's the thing. I think a real person could have beaten the Puppet Master dolls. Well, again. If it was OJ against the dolls, OJ would have won. I agree. I agree. Because he beat. Well, no, we had the Gremlins beat OJ. Yeah.

I don't know. Because I think the OJ is stronger. Gremlins are way more powerful than the Puppet Master dolls. We talked about that. Yeah, I agree. They are way more. That is like not even close. I agree. We're not starting this. But I agree. I'm with you. But that was like one... People said Anton Chigurh. We think we... People... We might have accidentally called him real. But again, I... He feels real. He feels real. He feels real. But he also... His powers are based in reality. But we're going to do... We're going to... We'll come back and fix it next year. But we got a lot of feedback about...

Yeah, man. I was right. I'm throwing that out there now. First thing I'll do, I got an email. Birds. I was intrigued by your bird army question in the newest March Madness episode. Now, according to Alfred Hitchcock, why you chose the birds. Yes. From the film, The Birds. 28.

Live birds Were used during the filming of the birds So I was low balling with 20 grand You were Other sources say around 25 And apparently it was something like 3,000 Were the actual Actively trained birds But even Apparently The 3,000 birds themselves Were biting the shit out of people Of course

You put that many birds in a mix with people? Fucking, what's her name? Vivian Lee, I think. Who was her name? I think it was Vivian Lee. She's some kind of blonde. Yeah. Oh, no. Or it was Melanie Griffith's mom, Tippi Hedrum.

Tippi Headroom? I think it was Tippi. I think it was Tippi. Tippi. I know Jessica Tandy. Jessica Tandy was the old lady. Yeah, yeah. She always is. Yeah. She always fucking is, that bitch. I can't read it. It was Tippi. She's alive. Yeah. No, she's dead. Jessica Tandy's dead, right? Tippi's dead. Are they all dead? I think they're all dead. Yeah, Jessica Tandy's dead, right? She done been dead. That's Miss Daisy.

Yeah. She's been dead. I saw her back there. More like Miss Lacey. Oh, drive your own car, bitch. Shots fired, bitch. She's a wonderful actress. Tippi's alive. Who, Tippi's alive? Tippi Hedren's alive? Wow. We're going to have to fix that. Remember when they did the whole roar thing?

Oh, yeah. And she was why the lion. Anton LaVey's lion was in that that was mistreated. And then that was like all of those like stunts were shot with real lions with just actors who had no idea what they were doing. This is a movie. I think we talked about this. Melanie Griffin's scalp off or something. And now she talks like she does. That's facts, folks. That's fucking facts. And then I got this extremely nerdy email that I'm going to read through just for the sake of

This is a shout out to my other people that are dungeon masters. I'm not a dungeon master because I don't have the attention to detail, but the people within... This motherfucker, dude, on my side. Yes. I love this guy. I want to play Dungeons and Dragons now because of this motherfucker. But I feel like you're not going to want to sit for the hours. Well, you know, I'll drink.

The thing is that people get mad at you. I had a group, my group with other comedians. It was like Jared Logan, Adam Conover, Nick Vatterot. Like we had a whole like D&D group. They got mad if you drank. Really? Oh yeah. Cause you got to stay in the game. What about tunes? Can you put some tunes on? Nothing. All right. I'm out. We had soda. Soda? Soda. Soda's worse than drinking. I get the jitters and too much sugar.

You're laughing at me like I can't say that. Something about the idea of you going on me like, I can't deal with all this jitters. You're drinking and driving. I'm like, Mr. Officer, look at my head. It's steady as hell, right? I'm not drinking coke, but I drive with this one. Oh, you see, that is a Mel Brooks bit. Yeah. Gene Wilderman. But in Mel Brooks' movie, yes. He wrote it. He came up with it. Gene Wilder helped a lot. He did, but then he also famously said, Gene Wilder said, I'm not that funny.

Really? Yeah. Even though he wrote most of Young Frankenstein. He just was acting. Well, he wrote most of it too. Maybe he just was being modest. Richard Pryor helped write Blazing Sands. Let me get into this. So, look at this. Alright. I've been DMing Dungeons & Dragons 5th edition for almost a decade. Why would he direct message them?

Do you want him on your team? Do you want him in your, do you want him in your campaign? He's motherfuckers. Everybody's mad. And I feel, and I feel that it was a good idea rejecting edge choice of 20,000 birds because it would have absolutely destroyed Godzilla. Whoa. I don't know if I agree with that. I don't think so either. And I getting a lot of anger of people, being the idea that we had to, we had to make the, uh, the xenomorph army come and make it neutral and make it all because some people were angry. I mean,

what are you going to do? We were having fun. We're having a good time. Also, please refer to him as

Oscar winner Godzilla. Yes, thank you. Oscar winner Godzilla. Absolutely. Congrats. A formal last podcast on the left. Congratulations to Godzilla. And Godzilla alone. For winning an Oscar. Yeah, I don't care who else won. I don't care who else won. They had a good time. Except I like that Miss Stone. I like that Poor Things. That was good. Poor Things was great. That was good. All right, so. Not better than Godzilla. Not better than Godzilla. Nothing else. The closest thing to a regular bird in fifth edition is a raven.

Right, which has a challenge rating of zero, worth 10 XP. This is the base difficulty threshold for a single bird. If more than 15 birds are in the fight, their official threshold is multiplied by five. For example, 15 birds would be worth 750 XP. 15 times 10 equals times five. 15 times 10 times five. So that's in a bracket.

Yeah. These guys. Assuming Chris Benoit would be a level 20 player character, which is generous considering he would have to be a literal demigod at that level, the threshold for a quote-unquote deadly encounter is 12,700 XP. Even 300 birds risk killing him since that encounter would be worth 15,000 XP. The closest monster Godzilla would be the ancient blue dragon with a challenge rating of 23, worth 50,000 XP. Basic rules. This would put Godzilla in the exact same weight class as...

as 10,000 birds. You'd have to give Godzilla the stats of a Tarrasque. Basically the strongest monster in the base game with the challenge rating of 30 with 155,000 XP before you start to be able to take on 10,000 birds, let alone 20. In summary, 20,000 birds is too much for the bracket, but 300 to 500 birds is a reasonable match and get something like a single Xenomorph or Pazuzu, but not Godzilla. I spent your tax money writing this at work.

All right. I don't agree. As much as I like this guy and I know he's on my side, I don't necessarily agree. I think Godzilla could take out any amount of birds.

He's as big as a building. He's bigger than buildings. I think that if you look at this is parameters of Dungeons and Dragons. He throws rules. In Dungeons and Dragons, there's rules. Aircraft carriers. I know. But in Dungeons and Dragons, there's a way to defeat all of the things that you are coming across unless it is specifically like a suicide latch that you're not supposed to go down. Like, because a DM will make things. Why is there so much math? Because it's nerds.

It's because that's the only way they live. They have to make it quantifiable because it's a game. It's a winnable game. So you have to make it quantifiable. Real life, guess what? There's no fucking rules. When it comes down to it. I mean, there's laws. But there's laws. But just because it's legal don't mean it right. But we're like with Godzilla, like he's one of those guys that like, I think the

X factor here is the fact that he's Godzilla. And Godzilla is going to destroy a bunch of the birds. Because in real life, the birds don't have attack values. The birds. Yeah, they don't care. They're going to get scattered. They're going to be destroyed by his laser. They're going to be destroyed by his fire breath. They're going to be destroyed by a swat of his tail. Go back to Canada. But in the world of Dungeons and Dragons where there aren't rules, unlike...

this realm, this prison that we're all attached in by our brains fed to us by the algorithm. All we have to do is deny the algorithm and then we'll be truly free. The research I'm doing on this new fucking episode series we're about to do is ruining my life. Okay.

But understand that you're as free as you want to be. Thank you. I feel free. But if you're not, though, you're a fucking victim of the Matrix. You're trapped in the Matrix. You're up to your fucking big chubby eyeballs in the Matrix. That doesn't bother me, though. The thing is, it must bother you because now you know. Now you know for a fact that the Matrix is existing. It's like asking the fish, how's the water? And the fish has no idea because the fish is swimming in the water until it discovers it's in the fucking...

And then it's too fucking late. If I am really stuck into a pod with a fucking tube in the back of my head. It's going to happen. I would rather be in the Matrix. No, but then you're contributing to the lie. You're contributing. I have to remember. Yeah, who cares? Whether or not I free myself from the Matrix, I'm still within it. How did you go from Dungeons and Dragons to the Matrix? It's that easy. Two sentences.

And people play this sober? What? Dungeons and Dragons? Yeah. Thank you, though. Because you do have to remind yourself. Imagine, like, doing Dungeons and Dragons on, like, fucking Ecstasy. That's awesome. It'd be so much room for debate. Like, everyone would just hug and shit. Like, peace, man. So fucking annoying. I can't imagine a coked out D&D session. No, I'd coke. No, coke's bad. Coke's bad. Coke's bad, but ecstasy.

I still feel like... Ass would be the worst. Once the X hits, wouldn't you just want to go dancing? You could do that. You could take dance breaks. I just feel like it would get very... Who knows? People don't... If you want me to be your dungeon master, it costs $500. Yeah, that's fine. He brings the ecstasy, and that's it. And you get a bunch of Listerine strips and shit, and that's it. Oh, you rolled a 27. That's a lot of ecstasy. That's a lot of ecstasy, brother man. I guess the ravens are coming to play.

You know, like, yeah, hopefully. But yeah, honestly, Ed is ready to go. Do you gave out my real email address? You blur that out. What are you talking about with these fucking people? You can't give them my real side stories at LPOTLwhateverthefuck.com.

Jesus Christ. I get that. You just want people to read you directly. I don't want them to have to go through the red tape. So many people already have it. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Finding work-life balance can be tough, but Squarespace gives you the tools to reach your goals and have time to celebrate.

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Oh my God. All right. To be honest, we said before how we had a lot of show today. We don't. But this, another update is the fact that we, we talked about the estrogen poisoning. Oh yeah. Where the guy in the band, that hardcore band, he was the lead singer was giving, I think it was that he was giving his guitarist piles of estrogen in all of these kind of the protein powders that he was getting from his work. And everyone got mad instead of like,

happy. Well, it's just the idea that he was trying to get his girlfriend from me. He was trying to feminize him so he could get his girlfriend. And I actually, I asked a bunch of questions to our listeners. What if she's bi? It's too late. It doesn't work.

Well, because the problem is that really what it does, I got a great, I got a lot of really very interesting questions about HRT and hormone replacement therapy and about how estrogen does not necessarily cause cancer or high blood pressure, but it can reveal if you are sensitive to both. Like you can basically, like if you get cancer while you're doing on an HRT circuit, like it can just more to show that you wore your gene coded to get that cancer and it kind of came to the forefront. But what it does give you is enlarged nipples, right?

Okay. That complete.

And hypersensitivity, your whole body, your skin becomes really soft and your dick and your balls stop working. And then basically you could just get freaked out by it. So basically they're saying that, yeah, five months of unrestrained estrogen, but without the testosterone blocker, which is the other half of HRT, it's not going to do a heck of a lot for you. Okay. But it will make your tits kind of, kind of like. But it takes a while. Yeah, it takes a while. A couple of months. It could take years. It can make you completely, your dick just doesn't work anymore. But you can still pee.

Yeah, yeah. It still kind of works. Then it's just a tube. You know what I mean? It could just be a hole. I mean, nah. If someone's dick gets cut off, can they still pee? Sides stories help, P-O-T-L-H-E-M-A-L.com. Yeah, what's that? What's that? I want to know how that goes. I'd love to know. Well, yeah, people dream or does it spread? They flap it in, right? If you're going to do the full sex change operation. That's different. You're getting a vagina.

Okay, that's a different situation. Isn't a vagina just a hat with a hole with a hat on it? No. There's a lot going on in there. I know that, but isn't it like three holes with a hat, like kind of with like a corsage around it? Oh, you mean, oh, it's, oh, you're talking about you're calling the clit a hat? Yeah. Oh, okay. It's more like a beanie.

Besides stories, LPOTL at gmail.com. We'd love to know. All right, so let's get some stories in here. Let's get some stories in here. You got a scary one. Well, this one is. There's a lot of ways this could go. I have no idea what's going on here. This came in very last minute last night, but this is one of those that I think this is going to be unpacked for a couple of weeks. This is more of a serious story, but we'll get to it. So Boeing.

has been dealing with a lot of problems, right? Because I believe they, didn't they have like the plane that they were just dealing with? It was a Boeing 737. Yeah. That was this, this was that, that the door fell off. Yeah. Everyone, yeah. And then there's been other things too. People ain't happy, right? Yeah. Because people are dying. It's really fucking extremely frightening. Can't wait to go back on tour. JK Ultra, where tickets are available. You can go and see us and we can hopefully fly to,

And live. To the Denver airport, the most haunted of all airports. It's less. They lean in. That's what's obnoxious about it. Yeah. They lean into the whole, oh, the Illuminati might be here, which is being like, well, don't. I'm fucking with my brain, dude. I'm fucking with my brain. I think the world's expanding. But you debunked that.

You had a geologist friend of yours yell at you. Do you want to get yelled at again? I'm just saying I go for whatever. She will yell at you again. I go for whatever is the most fun, buddy. I just got to fucking, I got to, I got to spice it up for me because when we die, there's nothing but blackness. I know I've heard of flat earthers. Henry's a fat girther. I'm angry. I'm angry. And I'm calling the ACLU. I'm getting you sued through the ACLU. So now this story is, so,

This guy, John Barnett, he'd worked for Boeing for 32 years. He retired in 2017. Now, he was doing this civil law...

With Boeing. Some people are connecting to the fact that he worked as a whistleblower where he came out in 2010. He was a quality manager at the North Charleston plant. They were working on the 787 Dreamliner. And he said in 2019, he came forward and he said that the there were under pressure workers working at this plant that had been deliberately fitting substandard parts because of how backed up they were.

And so they were put bad parts on planes. He said there were serious problems with oxygen systems, which could mean one in four breathing masks would not work in an emergency. Yeah. And he said they have to start in work in South Carolina. He'd become concerned that the push to get new aircraft built meant the assembly process was being rushed and safety was being compromised. And he said he also said that workers failed to follow procedures intended to track components. Substandard parts are removed from scrap bins and fitted to

planes. They were being built to prevent delays on the production line. They used Dawn liquid soap as lubricant, apparently, in the new FAA audit. You know, but this guy, he ended up dead. He's in the middle. He was just in a hotel room and they found him with a quote-unquote self-inflicted injuries. I believe it's a gunshot to the head. I thought he was in his car. Oh, yes, it was in his car. Yes. Yeah, it was in his... He has a Ram. An orange...

Here's why I call fishing. If you got an orange pickup truck, I feel like you got a pleasant disposition. See, you say this. And I think, yeah, I think like if you chose orange pickup truck VA that you're happy, but it's half Miami Dolphins colors. But I also think that the issue is that you're trying to show other people that you are an extroverted, fine person. But you don't know what's happening on the other side. There is, this stuff is very strange because I saw one comment that

So he worked at this company. None of what he was working on had anything to do with this 737 Max. Yeah. And it sounds like he was in some another. It seemed like what he was more involved with was in a personal civil lawsuit against the company. And I don't know quite what that means.

means. So I believe that what he was doing was he was either, he was looking for either lost funds or felt he was owned owed a certain amount of money, or he maybe felt like the whistleblower status ruined his life. I feel like it might be something. Or he was whistleblowing. Cause he also did something else wrong. And he like was trying to get out of it, trying to flip on somebody else that we see that a lot, but we also, but we don't know. But the thing that is strange is that he died of Nick quote unquote, self-inflicted manner while working on this whistleblower case where

for this very powerful company with many unknown government contracts. See, I always kind of posit back to the Occam's razor. What?

The Occam's razor. I don't know what that means. What that means is that the simplest explanation is likely the one that is real. Yes. I live my life by that. I just didn't know there was a name for it. Two possible explanations. This is good. They're Wikipedia. The explanation that requires the fewest assumptions is usually correct. Another way of saying it is that the more assumptions you have to make, the more unlikely an explanation. So all the other ways, always you have to say it might have to work.

So in my mind, use common sense is that if Boeing wants to whack somebody, I weirdly think that there would have to be some form of paper trail.

that you would find because money's going to be paid. Something's going to happen. It's so hard to get people. Look at all of the stories. It's a rogue dude at Boeing if Boeing has anything to do with it. All of the stories we have covered about people who have hired hitmen. Guess one thing hitmen are not good at. They're not having a board meeting. But guess what hitmen are not good at? Keeping their fucking mouths shut. Really? I thought that's like their biggest quality. You'd think.

But so many people hire a hitman. And what we also know, it's never a hitman. It's always a police officer. Yeah. It is always an FBI agent. I mean, I imagine Boeing has access to real hitmen. I imagine that it's not the private contractors. They could talk to like fucking BlackRock. They could talk to somebody. Yeah, of course. They have access to all of these things. But I think that it's

It would show, in my mind, that these corporations care too much. They don't care. They want to win in court. They want to win in court because if they do, then everybody has to, quote unquote, shut the fuck up. Also, you don't think that they don't have these courts?

like bent over backwards over a fucking rail. Like I think that they're not worried as much about these court cases. I think that they're willing to go destroy a bunch of people's lives in order to win the court cases. I think it would be difficult to set up anonymously a way for you to whack somebody from inside Boeing. But at the same time, you have this guy that's been working with this company for 30 plus years who knows all of the executives. He knows all of these people on the inside that all benefit from

from the company doing well and not having the stock crash and because of all these people coming in because of safety concerns and them losing all their contracts and shit. So it could definitely be some rogue, what you said, some mad executive

Or is he driven to suicide by all of his old buddies, everybody he's ever known? Hates him now. Yeah, ripping him to shreds because he came forward and started talking. And I'm sure they ruined him somehow. Oh, sure. He could have been cheating on his wife and they told her, you know, they could have, you know, used a company card to go to Bolivia. All you gotta do is fuck up one time that you kind of, they let slide back in the day, but now they don't want you to do that anymore. So then they decided to ring you up for every single crime that they just want to get you for. You know, that's, that's the thing.

So that could happen. So I don't know. But it's not like chill. No. You know, and it doesn't help. So we'll see. A lot of stuff's going to come out. John Barnett. Yeah, John Barnett. Charleston. Good place to...

Commit suicide? I wish I did. You did that. I said it. You said that. And I held myself before finishing my sentence. But you didn't. But I finished it. You finished it. Because I know you very well. You know me well. I know you very, very, very, very well. I take it back even though I didn't say it.

All I know is if I was Airbus, I'd be like, yo, fucking who do you love? Hey, man, we can't even get a pizza delivered here. Never mind. Whack somebody. Yeah, it's not good. So hopefully, you know what? I'm hoping that Boeing learns a lesson. I hope that we start getting other people building airplanes.

Like who? I don't know. I looked up. There's a whole bunch of other things I've never heard of. Well, yeah, there's many companies. Embraer. I thought it was just Boeing. Oh, hey, though, but you can't actually, you know what? Now that I'm seeing this, we can't really. Guys, I can't even think that we're mad at Boeing. Look what they said.

We're saddened by Mr. Barnett's passing and our thoughts are with his family and friends. Oh. Oh, what a relief. God. All right, so they're fine. It's not Boeing. Here's some peanuts. He must have been sad. Yeah, here's some peanuts. Biscot. You want a biscot?

But yeah, we don't know anything about it and it's super fucking horrible and I can't wait to get on a plane. Yeah. I got more airplane news. Yay! Yeah. The in North Tonawanda, New York. You ever hear of that? No. It's by Buffalo. Is it Tonawanda? I have to hear. Tonawanda. If you guys say.

One thing about this fucking name. About this county name. Because, yeah. North Tonawanda. Tonawanda, actually. Now I'm looking at it. It might be Tonawanda. Because I made the O make the same sound as the A. Yeah, I think it's Tonawanda. Only in English do we do stupid shit like that. It's true. It could be Tonawanda. I think you're correct. But I tell you what. Tonawanda, I'm going to call it now. I prefer it to be Tonawanda. Norte Tonawanda. You know why I like Tonawanda? Because, honestly...

there wouldn't be if Wanda would take a diet. That's right. Yeah. And I, you know, it's like when Wanda's yelling at you and you're like, I don't like your tone of Wanda. You better relax, Miss Sykes. Okay. Well, what's happening? So they're apparently, they don't know how it's happening, but this woman in North Tonawanda, her house has been covered in shit three times. Great. And they think it's just where airplanes fly.

release their shit valves. Now they do this over now, North Tonawanda, Tonawanda, Tonawanda. Now this is right. And I believe this is near Buffalo and we have wonderful friends in Buffalo. Courtney, Caitlin. Hello. We love you out there. Um, but you know,

Who else is from there? You know what Buffalo's like, right? Amy Mann's from there, I think. Yeah, that makes sense. She's cool. Yeah, you could see it goes in sort of the humorous music, but you could see them choosing Buffalo as being the place that they squirt with shit. It's more north than Buffalo. Now, the reason why they squirt it with shit is it because...

Of Doug Flutie or... No, no, they like Doug still. It's a... You know what? And this seems like something that would happen in Syracuse, first of all. Yes. I don't know if you've ever been to Syracuse. Oh, yes. It's great. Yeah, I do. Every day's great. I dislike Syracuse. I mean, not the people of the people. The people are great, but I stopped to buy liquor in Syracuse once when I was heading to Buffalo. Mm-hmm.

saddest liquor store I've ever been to my whole life. I'll tell you what, the one thing they got plentiful of in Buffalo was liquor. Yeah. And so this poor woman, uh,

She's been dealing with this for over a month. And I got this from WIVB4. Thank you so much for reporting on this. Really good work. I love this comment from the woman who got smeared with shit. Her name is Gwen Eichler. She told the News 4 that she's concerned about letting her dogs out at times. She had to get a power washer. She says, there's nothing left to see except for my Facebook post.

which have been prevalent because when I first put it up the first time, everyone went, what? I put it up the second time. You got to be kidding me. And when I put it up a third time, everybody went, oh, you got to go win a lottery. But the fact that it happens to this woman and other people in town are upset because

But no one else has reported this happening to their house. Yeah. It just hurts. So it could be some kind of elaborate prank. Well, she's smearing shit on her own house. Well, not just smearing it. You have to make it look like it fell from thousands of feet. See, that's kind of fun. So then you go up to the roof. Yeah. Collect all of your shit in a bucket. Literally just throwing it on the roof. Throw blobs down there being like, I'm breaking down the planes. Yeah. It's shit.

receives. I'm decorating the house. I'm going to change the world. You're going to stop blowing over my house. Well, she, you know, Henry, you got to be calm because Ms. Eichler said there's no comic belief. This shouldn't be happening. This is not funny. I contacted the mayor. There's nothing funny about it. If I were the mayor of a city, airplanes are dumping their honey pot. This shouldn't just be happening. All right? I want this to stop.

My neighbors wanted to stop. Yes, but you know who doesn't want to stop it? The birds. Is this the picture of the shit? Yeah. It doesn't look bad. No, it's just slacked shit. It's just a bunch of shit droplets. It's nothing good.

Yeah, there's shit droplets. It's not birds because if it was birds, it'd be white. I got my hat with shit on earlier on the way, on my walk into work today. My hat with shit was white shit. You know what's nice about that? It means you're about to come into money. You think so? That's what it says. That's a, that's a, the old superstition. I prefer to keep my money clean. Keep my cum off it. This is also from, this is from Susan Terry who also lives in Alice Street. Ruin a piggy bank. Susan Terry says, we'd like answers. We would like to know if it is human or if it is bird.

The chances of it being burned for the flocks to fly off three times in that spot? You could see an airplane having it on their computers that this is their drop spot. This is all just absolutely paranoid shit covered Buffalo women. Here's the thing. An airplane, I mean, like, let's talk physics, okay? Because, like, an airplane's flying. And if it releases the shit, that means the shit's going to keep going. No. You know, it's going to go backwards? Yeah.

Side stories, LPOTL.gmail.com. Let's not talk physics. All right. Because you and I have no idea. But I feel like the shit would keep going forward. No, I think it goes back because the plane is going forward. The plane is going forward. The velocity. Theory of relativity. So they could be dropping it in Buffalo, but it's landing in Towa. Also, really close to Canadian border here.

These could be Canadians dumping their shit in America. I can almost guarantee this is Canadian stuff. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. I can fucking I got water over everything. I can fucking guarantee. I can fucking guarantee this is Canadian shit. Yeah. Check it for maple syrup. Trying to let Buffalo know it ain't good. Yeah. Guess what, man? We know.

You don't need, we don't need Canada to tell us. And guess what? We're proud of the fact that Buffalo is shit. Yeah. Because that's us. You already got the better view of Niagara Falls. Yeah, whatever, man. Go fuck yourself. Guess what, man? Niagara Falls ain't that great either. Whoa, I love Niagara Falls. Ain't that great. Lady of the Mist, shout out. Ain't that great. Take a ride.

Blue ice. Yes, it's blue ice. That's what I heard about this. In aviation, blue ice is frozen sewage material. That's why I don't think... Yeah, it would be blue if it came from an airplane. It wouldn't be brown shit. They don't just shoot liquid shit out of the back of a fucking airplane. This is a catapult situation. This woman needs to look at her vendettas.

Who is she made mad? Because I can guarantee if there's a quote group she's involved with, she might be on the off cycle. Right? Because my mom rips through friend groups. Yeah. You know what I mean? Because I've always been like, oh my God, would you believe Barbara is my best friend. We're like soul sisters. When I first met her, I knew because you know why? Because she's from New York and I'm from New York. And that means, oh, you know how that is? We just came together. And two weeks later, it's like, Barbara's my personal enemy. If I could.

I wish I could cut the brake lines in a car, Henry Thomas. And I'm just being like, mom, you can't even find, you can't find the brake lines.

Look at this here from Blue Ice. I'm sorry. No, no, no. Blue Ice. Airlines are not allowed to dump their waste tanks mid-flight and pilots have no mechanism by which to do so. However... Leaks. Leaks sometimes do occur if in the plane's septic tank. We got to talk to Boeing. There's a pistol blower. But also... There would be blue. Unless... There would be blue mixed in with the brown. Unless there's a helicopter and a pilot's just hanging his ass out of the side of it.

Nailing that bitch. Yeah, man. I mean, yeah, that's the other thing. I think there's something vindictive. There's a very expensive...

hate crime happening here. What, against just like old Buffalo women? The elderly. I mean, you know, the hate crime's called time. Also, she's old. It could just be leaking out of her. Yeah, she doesn't even know. She could be fucking carpet bombing her own front walk having no idea she's got the squirts. Yeah. Because you get numb back there. Yeah, and also, no one's shitting on the dogs. Can you tell if you're shitting later on? If it happens in one house three times...

It's not an airplane. It missed that house. And it misses that house. And it comes straight after you. It's Alice. And she's not wearing an underpants.

Alice doesn't shit here anymore. So we're blaming the woman. Yeah. That's the official last podcast on The Left Take. I'm glad we worked through that. Yeah, you're going to have to get on clean in that. I don't know if it's a flight, because I haven't seen any sort of responses to this by airlines. Because no one's saying, yeah, we're the ones dumping the shit. Yeah. Because they're just, they're too proud. Gwen,

When will this stop? Her name's Gwen. Oh, well. Yeah. Who do I think was Alice? She lives on Alice Street. Ah, that's what it is. It doesn't matter. Yeah. Alice Street. She's big. Part three calls on it. I, if I could, I would poison Barbara's food. But then I realized, oh, that's my food. Oh, I can't poison myself. I'm not good with poison in the tunnels.

27 documented incidents of blue ice impacts in the United States between 1979 and 2003 It ain't happening no more I don't know if it's happening anymore Unless shit's leaking but we'll find out We'll find out whether or not this is a Boeing thing Yeah I don't think this is happening This is not what's really happening to this woman She needs to get to the bottom of this I think it's too easy of an explanation I think so too and it doesn't really make a heck of a lot of sense What's our new term that I learned today?

whatever the fuck. Occam's razor. Occam's razor. Use your Occam's razor. You're

Your deductive reasonings, your common senses, your gumptions. He might sound dumb, but he's saying good words. Let's get it in there. No poo-poo. There is poo-poo, but it's not airplane poo-poo. No airplane poo-poo. If there were blue spots, we'd talk. Then we'd know it's airplane poo-poo. That lady, the shit, is coming from inside the house. From inside her ass. Fly from your grave.

Now, this is a, okay, this is a good story.

Two women. There's nothing left in that cup. A little bit. Suck it on the ice like Dom DeLuise. Yes, that's how I feel. It's great for audio. All right, two women. You know there's going to be trouble.

So two women propped up their roommate's corpse in a car to withdraw cash at the bank. Now, I personally love this. I love it, too. Because they said they had his permission from back in the day. Two Ohio women. You love Ohio women. I love Ohio. Technically, I do love Ohio women. Yeah, they discovered that their elderly roommate. I'd say woman. No, Julia and Lear are cool, too. Yeah, I like Ohio women. We're good. It's a taste.

Now, their elderly roommate had died in the home that they had all shared. But instead of immediately reporting it, because that's not fun,

They placed his body in a vehicle. He had propped it up as if he was like totally fucking chill and hanging out. They drove to a bank where he did use his services. Yeah. And then they use his corpse to withdraw money from his bank account. But they did it from the drive-thru teller just so people know they didn't like put their arms in a jacket and walk them in. And that's where they're lazy. Yeah. Because even I would have lied. That's what I would have been. I think that's what they should have done. Do you want to say the name of this town?

I could do it. The Ashtabula. Ashtabula, Ohio. What did we say? Ashtabula. What is Ashtabula? Is it Ashtabula? Ashtabula Police Department. Ashtabula. Ashtabula. I mean, who knows? The women, identified as Laureen Ferallo and Karen Cosbohm, found 80-year-old Douglas Lehman dead inside his residence where they both had also been residing. They could have seen it coming with his name. I wonder if they were all fucking him.

That's hot. Yeah. They placed Mr. Lehman in the front seat of his car and they drove to the bank where they withdrew an undisclosed amount of money from his account. It is further alleged that Mr. Lehman was placed in the vehicle in such a manner that he would be visible to bank staff, right? Which is just fine. But he said right here,

Which is where this all hinges on. The bank had allowed this previously as long as they were accompanied by him, according to Leaf Chief Robert Stell. But he talked, probably. Yeah, but maybe it was like, you know, come on. So maybe I feel like if they see enough, like, if you're slack-jawed in a car, and they look at you, and there's two ladies that, I guess, have been sucking you dry. Yeah. I'm still positive that they're all fine. You think so?

I hope. I don't think so. I want to see how old they are. I want to see how old these are. I hope that they're all fucking. That's what my dad did. My dad lived with two women for a long time and he didn't have to pay rent because he was making love to them. Yeah? That's what he said, but then it kicked out. How old were you? I was, when I was a twinkle in my father's eye. Oh, okay. I was cum. That's what that means. Okay, gotcha. Oh yeah, oh yeah. Here we go. Look at these ladies.

For certain he's fucking these ladies. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. Look at him. He's probably paying the rent, too. Oh, yeah, buddy. Yep. They had it made in the shade with that pink lemonade. With that old man's dick. Now, these women, they just figured this was his last will and testament. Everybody's mad at them for using his corpse. But weirdly, I think that's exactly what he would have wanted. I'm... Yeah.

I feel like he's like, yeah, sit on my face one last time. Take my corpse out. Play with my dick and balls. Take me through the fucking in and out. Drive through. Take me to the bank. That sounds fucking great. I want to say right now into the camera, into a microphone. If I'm 80 years old and I got two roommates and I die, you take me to the bank and empty it. Fuck it. Who gives a fucking shit? If there's nobody else there, Julie's left you and you got nobody to give the money to. Who cares? It's going to go to the government anyway. You take it. Yeah.

I say the same thing. If I end up a weird man living in a railroad apartment with two strange ladies that I'm balling out in order to fucking pay for the rent. Get it. Like one last sizzler night on me. Yeah. Go to the fucking go pop it open, man. Go pop a bottle portal over me. Fucking put your titties in my face. These ladies look so nice. They are not.

They're absolutely not nice. I mean, this one, the top lady looks nice. No, you're incorrect. This one, the bottom one doesn't look nice. I'm going to disagree with you entirely. This lady looks like the lady who lives across the street from me, and she's got like 10 rescue dogs. Yes. One of them, you can't see. His name is Wonder. It's very cute. My one thing is that those are also the ladies that change on the internet.

Yeah. And they become something else when you meet them. She's a sweetheart. This is not a sweetheart. That is a nice woman. Lorraine Ferallo. Which one is she? That's Lorraine Ferallo. They took a corpse out of a house and they strapped it into a seat. Like, yeah, I think that's Karen. That's Karen. That's Karen. I'm sorry about what happened to your name. No, don't be because they all have to change. I have one of my good friends, Karen. I mean, this is a fact. She understands she has to stand up for herself as a Karen. It sucks. That's how it is. You have to be extra good.

I think it should have happened to Jones. Oh, like the name Joan? Yeah, I think all the Jones should have had their name ruined. Oh, here comes the regular. See, Joan to me is fancy. I did know one Karen in high school and we didn't like her. We called her Fish Face. Well, I hope you're doing well, Fish Face. Hopefully you're not a whistleblower for Boeing because they are going to complete that for you. See, these guys are not hot. All right, this is my thing. I think they're fun ladies.

And I think that their actions are entirely excusable. Okay. But I don't think that they're nice ladies. And I understand why it's a crime. Before I get all the emails, I know that it's a crime. It's fine. But also, I feel like at the same time, if you already fucking look at this guy.

Oh, yeah, buddy. Cool breeze. If you look at this motherfucker, he's got some reflective glasses on right now. He's got at least six guns. That guy is getting his dick sucked Wednesday through Sunday. He doesn't give a fuck about his debit card. He does not care what these women do. She's just frowning, thinking about how, like, I guess the dick train is pulling out of the station. These guys are all leaving, but they're not nice. They are technically villains. You can't trust them. Don't listen to him, Karen. He doesn't know what he's saying. Karen, listen.

You just got to understand, time is not going to look unfavorably upon you. Lorene is definitely the mastermind, by the way. Even if you don't think Karen's nice, Lorene's the mastermind. Now, you're just saying this. You're going to fucking grab him and put him in your car and drive him to the bank. I don't know. I don't want to. Karen, come here. Help me with these legs. I don't think this is the right thing to do. Shut up, Karen. All right, I'll help. You do need the money. Karen, help me.

I'm going to miss his old balls. I'm going to miss his bad breath. Should we drink before we drive? Yep. Now that I think about it, it is good to get relaxed. Yeah, these bitches are fucking coming for you, dude. So be careful because they are sizing people up left and right. I like them.

Me too. I don't think this is really... I'm not saying them being bad doesn't mean that I don't like them. If this guy has no next of kin, I see no crime. That's what I'm saying. I utterly agree. And if he does, then she'd care enough to know when he dies. Yeah, man. Your fucking... Your grandfather is Eiffel Towering two women each night. You should be there hanging out with him. If he...

the choice to not have children. If he had more time with his grandkids, he wouldn't have had the time to ball out these women and fucking do whatever it is. Probably some form of working on price picks. Maybe making his money on price picks. Or at least taking another free apartment. I mean, who knows? But he's making all his fucking, he's making other money. And you know, you gotta get in there. You gotta fight for the rights to your grandfather's dick. Yeah.

And think about it, now he'll get his ashes Yeah And then take this guy to the Caribbean All these fun places you should have went when you were alive But you didn't, you forgot about him And then guess what man, his dick did the talking Well he's dead now

He's fucking dead now. What are you going to do? It doesn't really matter. Nothing. Shout out to Karen. Love you, babe. Thank you, great. Eddie, if she shows up at this studio, if she shows up in your life, if this woman, I'm looking at this woman right now, if she shows up at your apartment, I'm really afraid for you. I'd put her to work.

Yeah. Backbreaking work. I bet she'd be good to fucking take care of Tootsie and stuff. Tootsie's been having lots of problems at night. Dude, she's going to kill Tootsie. She's going to take Tootsie's corpse into the vet to get the Klonopin that they give Tootsie. You know what? There's no way that she's not going to go get that dog Klonopin because she can get it. Tootsie needs a Klonopin. She's having night terrors or something. She's walking around all night. But do you think that Karen, this fucking beagle-eyed woman... I'd make her sleep during the day and stay up

all night with the dog. Ha ha ha.

So you turn her. You want free rent. She don't got to suck my dick. You turn this old murderous woman. I'm hiring her. You're going to turn her into a night nanny. Yes. For Tootsie. Yes. The other dog that's also on the verge of death. They're both on the verge of death. I would like to see the race to death that her and Tootsie have. And we're off. Here's the starter pistol. There you go. Oh, and they both had heart attacks. Perfectly done. Now let's take her to the bank.

$15. Do we have time for another story or is it time for letters? We can do one more. Eddie, give me one. All right. This one, we don't need to spend much time with it because it's still developing, but I feel like we need to talk about it. These two dudes blew up

a woman's house with her child inside of it. This whole thing makes no sense. It makes no sense. Stephen Glosser and Caleb Kinney last year, this is over a year ago, in 2023 in January, this is in Richmond Hill, Georgia. If they say that differently, they need to go fucking deal with that themselves. God knows. My mother's from Richmond Hill. Really? New York. Oh, okay. Well, who cares? The...

But these guys, they really hated this woman. They blew up her house. And her kid. And her kid. They really wanted to kill. They wanted, but it's not even, they settled on blowing up her house. They were going to scalp the woman. Yes. And have a python eat her child. That was the plan.

Well, I don't believe anybody should kill anybody. Also, how does anyone know that's the plan? This fool's a wily... Did they write it down? I think that they just told people. I think that you... Look, this is one thing, as I've learned over the years, is that criminals...

aren't super smart a lot of times. Most of the times they're pretty stupid. And a lot of times what they like to do is share all the fun details that they were going to do to somebody. Probably some more than not in a facetious manner. Yeah. But then guess what?

You tell that to a police officer, guess what it becomes? Hardcore reality. Yes. And so you say a bunch of stuff that you think is like funny or you say a bunch of stuff offhand being like, yeah, we're going to get a snipe and release you and they're going to eat the mama and the baby. Also, if you sit in a bar, don't think cops aren't getting hammered at bars. Oh, most of them aren't. Yeah. And then also don't think for a fact that they're not, that someone's not going to flip on you for a fucking second, especially if you've been saying a bunch of stuff about how you're going to kill somebody. These two ugly, evil looking motherfuckers too. Because you'd be surprised, and I mean this,

How many people are anti-murder? There's like most people are like not into you planning and executing a murder. Yeah. So when you tell a bunch of people that you're going to plan and execute a murder, you got to be really careful because you never know if you're not talking to somebody who gets it. Yeah. Yeah.

And they don't have a possible motive yet, but she did have a relationship with one of the suspects. That's a rumor. Well, it's in the People article. Oh, it is. Okay, okay. I thought that was just in the rumor. I read it on Reddit, but it's also in the People article. Got it, but who knows? They could also have picked that up rumor too because they just do whatever the fuck. It's People. It's People magazine. But yes, it sounds like there was some kind of personal motive, but he was obsessed over this. The

Only, again, I'm anti-murdering people. I will keep saying this. No, I don't stand with these guys. But the idea of a Wile E. Coyote style murder is very fun to me. Yes. The idea of like you're going to release a python because also where'd the python come from? It's Richmond Hill, Georgia.

Yeah. It's not like the python. It's not like, oh, natural causes. Well, I mean, they're right by Okefenokee. They're, you know, they're by the swamps as close to Savannah. I guess. And so you don't know where these invasive species are ruining the Everglades. But you're saying that a python is going to work its way up a suburban street and go inside of a home. Well, no, they're going to scalp the mom and then put the python.

in the little girl's bed. That was the plan. I'm saying if they tried to say, oh, the python just ended up in there, what, the python take the Q47? Well, what's the fucking, why are they saying they scalped her? What's the reasoning behind scalping? I think they're dumb. Yes. Oh, that's a fact. And I think that they thought that all of that was going to be a lot easier because that's the other thing that murderers run up against quite a bit is how it is physically difficult for people

to do a lot of these things. It is extremely difficult to scalp somebody correctly. It takes a long time. I don't think they were going to do it correctly. But it takes even just doing it. It takes a lot of energy, friend. Isn't scalping more of a white man thing, too? Yes, we started it. Yeah, we started the scalping. We started it and then they picked it up, yeah. Yeah. Yeah, it seems to be. It's great. So, yeah, these guys are fucked.

I don't even think they have lawyers. But they fucked up even blowing up. They didn't even murder anybody. They fucked up blowing up the house. That was also one of the saddest things too. That's the way you kill everybody. If you can't kill everybody by blowing up the house, you're not very good at this. Maybe they used explosives and not just gas. Well, I don't know. We talked a little bit before the show about how would they get a hold of it. It's actually not that difficult to get a hold of a lot of crude explosives.

Like you can get it. It just how you, it also really shows how you put it all together. Yeah. You know, I mean, it's, and how do you go from killing a girl with a snake and, you know, scalping a woman and just blowing it up? Laziness. Just purely zoomer. It's killing industries. They also, they also mailed dog shit, shot arrows into her front door. These were all proposed ideas. Oh yeah. They allegedly planned to shoot arrows into the woman's door.

Which is crazy. I think they were trying to get her to move. It sounds like they were trying to get her to leave this house. Yeah, male dog feces and dead rats. I think it sounds like they were trying to get... And that's just Jared Leto's Patreon subscriber awards. But these are... I think that they were trying to get her to leave. And I think the way that they don't understand the way you do that is by starting a locavore...

Aerial studio slash tattoo shop slash brewery raise the interest rates of the entire neighborhood. Yes. That's how you do it. The long run. The long way. The old way. I don't think these guys were looking for time. That's how you get somebody out of a neighborhood. You get in there.

You turn the fucking anything that's useful. You look at these guys. You take that bank, you rip it out. You turn it into a bread store slash trampoline store where you go and you listen to the fucking Florence and the Machine or some shit. Right. Is that new music? Florence and the Machine? New enough. You go and you see what's a bad bunny. That guy. Yeah. That's the name, right? Yeah. You go to Bad Bunny's Playhouse and he's got a fucking everybody sitting on twisty chairs or some garbage. Yeah. That's how you get somebody out of the neighborhood. Invite a bunch of Dutch people.

When they all start showing up buying all this fucking elite, like, you know, you know, glasses that they have like no frames or just two square pieces of glasses just somehow sitting there. Oh, those types of stores. Those people ruin a neighborhood. You go to a store with only like four pairs of jeans in it.

Oh yeah that shit will fucking take your whole place down That's how you get her out And you can Well you won't make any money you'll lose everything You need to be trusting baby to do that You need to have collateral just so you can start I'm looking at these guys Stephen and Caleb One's got a huge head and tiny ears The other guy has a tiny head and big ears

They really should have worked together. Yin and yang. Yeah, they are the 69 of each other. You never know who you're going to meet in this life. It's going to end up being your perfect partner. Yeah. And sometimes it's about the outside. Because that's why, you know, it's fun for us. We got Marcus is the skinny. He balances. Yeah, he really is. That's how it is. You always have to have a skinny, unfortunately. So we're the bread and he's the meat?

I think we're the meat in the double down. Yeah. And he's a piece of lettuce laying on top. He's the cheese that binds. Ah, that's what it is. He's the pickle. He is the pickle. He's the effervescent. And we're two pieces of fried chicken. Yeah. That's great. Yep. I feel like it. Fuck these guys. Fuck these pieces of fucking shit. Let's do some listener letters. Yeah. Okay, here we go. A. B. C. D.

There you go. Also, that haunted Ouija board is on its way here. I don't like this. I can't wait. It's a bad idea. We're going to film it all. I am on record. This is a bad idea. First of all, if you're doing any, I really don't want to do any kind of real say on shit. No, I won't make you do that. I won't make you do that. But I'm holding on to the Ouija board.

But why does it have to be here? Bring it to your home. Because Natalie doesn't want it there. And I don't want it here. But I have dominion over this one. You do have slight more dominion. I'm going to bring it to here. No, you'll see. Where are you going to put it? I'm going to make a case for it. I'm going to get a case and we're going to put it in. It's not going to be in this room, is it? No. Because we talk about a lot of evil shit in here. It'll be upstairs. Upstairs? Yeah. In the meeting room? Yeah. Put it in the kitchen. No. Can't haunt the food.

Oh, so now you're saying it will haunt. I don't know what it will do. You just admitted you think this thing's going to haunt. But I'm going to keep it in the quiet room. This is workplace abuse. It's not workplace abuse. It's called content. This is what the work is. No. You'll see. This is not what the work is. You're going to like it. The work is reading about something and talking about it. Yeah, but it's also walk of the walk, Doc. No, it's not. We're going to contain this thing. I don't need to walk the walk. You walk the walk. But you're next to me now. So while I'm walking, you're right there. Fuck you. Fuck you.

There you go. My wife used to work as a sex worker and she had one client who would drop. Oh, because this comes in response to the guy who wrapped in the carpet at the party. Okay. Apparently this is a big thing in New York. I feel like I remember it now. Yes. This is a guy that was a, he's like a, he was a standout in all of these various party scenes in New York where he would just, he squares it's unsexual. He goes by the name of Kevin. He says he's a Trump.

He's a trust fund baby that literally was... He just came for money. He's never had to work a day in his life. He was excited with art world and various punk and music scenes. And so he kind of inserted himself into the party scene of New York City by just wrapping himself on a carpet and have people stand on him. He said that he came from... He played an improv game where he laid on the floor. And ever since then, he loves the view from the floor up. Yeah. But he...

keeps saying it's not sexual, but he says he can't do it as much anymore because now he's getting old and it makes his body hurt. Why don't he just go to a bunch of Travis Scott concerts? Oh, yeah, getting trampled. But he was doing it for art. Yeah. He was doing it for art, not for life and death scenarios. Look at this guy. Yeah, he wears shades and shit. He's an interesting guy. He's kind of like, we went, we came up with a, remember Andrew, Andrew?

Andrew, Andrew. It was two guys that invented, quote unquote, invented iPod DJing that were like, they weren't twins, but they dressed identically. They used to always hang out at the McKibbin Lofts. They were weird. Yeah. Yeah. I remember them. Yeah. That was like one of those. I remember I got in a fight with one of them, not a fist fight, but an argument because I was wearing a shirt that said Coca-Cola on it. Yeah. And he got mad. He was like mad that I was like supporting a major corporation. And you're like, I got this in a thrift store. It's just whatever fits my body. Yes. Yeah. Yeah.

Sorry, buddy. Yeah, this wasn't a political movement. It's a television. It's a fucking shirt I have on right now. I will change later. But yeah, so this guy, this is a furthering of that conversation.

My wife used to work as a sex worker, and she had one client who would drop a few hundred dollars every other week for her to take him to the garden shed, blindfold him, then kick him in the nuts over and over as hard as he could until he came. This is popular. Yes. He never wanted anything else sexual. He just loved getting kicked as aggressively as possible. She doesn't do that work anymore and hasn't in years, but he still sometimes sends a hopeful text message hoping for another kick. Dude, it's just kicks.

Yeah. Let him cut. That's like, if he's not doing full penny, that's not cuckolding as far as I'm concerned. Yeah. You know, kicks, you know, they keep getting harder to find. But truly, like if you're going to get kicked in the balls, I feel like that's got to be easy to have. To pay money to kick you in the balls can't be that hard to find. No. I mean, there's plenty of places that do it, especially in New York City. I'll fucking do it. Will you? Yeah. I don't care if you come. How much do you want? How much? I mean, let's put it out there then.

$10,000. To kick someone in the balls? Yeah, I got fucking, I got clout. If I kick you in the balls, that's going on. That's content. Yeah. And you got to sign a waiver. Yes. A release. No, I'll fucking slam your balls. You have to feel and sign a release. Yeah, we're doing it on the stream. Yeah. All right. See?

Bring them to the studio too. Let's get the fucking guys who love getting kicked in their nuts in the Ouija boards. We'll do it down the street. Yeah. We'll do it down the street. Oh, yeah. I remember this kick me in the nuts guy. You give him 20 bucks. This is sad. Yeah. This is actually kind of sad. Well, I mean, you know, he got money. Yeah, but I don't think he wants it like I want it. I think that this guy, I don't find this sad.

He's made me... Have you remember the guy in the New York subway that used to have the tell me off for $10? Yeah. Where you have a sign. Well, that works in New York. Oh, yeah. I remember one time I was going through and I saw a man in a suit just like he was. Laying into him? Slurs. Ripping into this fucking guy. Yeah, you got to watch the slurs. He's just sitting there and he's just like nodding and smiling. Yeah, being like, hey, man. It's Olympic.

Get your living. I inherited a large grandfather clock, which I believe to be haunted by my deceased father. Now, my father sounds surprisingly similar to Henry's father, who was both hilarious and terrifying. A man who drank too much, became belligerent, and teenage waiters who didn't get his meal right and frequently fell into a rage during family political arguments at Christmastime. What a guy. Ever since we moved this clock into our newer farmhouse, only one previous owner, mysterious and unexplained things have happened near the clock.

The first incident was when my German shepherd puppy sat in front of the clock, staring and whining with her ears picked up at full attention. Shortly thereafter, I saw someone walk into the kitchen just beyond this clock, through the family room, and down the hall. However, no one was home but me. It appeared to be a doppelganger of my mother, who is currently living with us. My mother has also said she's seen people walking past that weren't there, and she's not a believer in the paranormal.

Two years ago, I was sitting in bed late at night when an orb gently bobbed through my window, appeared to check me out for a few moments, then promptly disappeared. If this had been my first orb encounter, I would have been more terrified, but at the time, it was more annoying than anything. More recently, I'd heard someone rustling in the kitchen just near the clock when I was the only person home. It sounded as though someone was looking for a snack in the pantry cupboard, and my dad was an obese, towering figure with an appetite for miles.

Last week, I was working in the kitchen preparing food for my husband who had dental surgery sick in bed when I thought I saw my now fully grown shepherd walk past the clock through the living room where the clock resides and down the hall. I proceeded to follow her, calling her name to see what she was up to, only to come to our bedroom where the door was closed and my husband was sleeping. Why does this woman have a shepherd living with her? It's a German shepherd. It's a German shepherd.

After this incident, my family and I have been discussing what to do with this haunted clock, which I don't dare fix since a motionless haunted clock seems safer than a working one. The clock is huge, 350 pounds, close to seven feet tall, and was dearly loved by my challenging and troubled father. I suggested we sell the clock, to which my innocent nine-year-old on the autism spectrum replied, but that might make the spirit of grandpa angry. It was then suggested we give the clock away to a family friend who may enjoy it,

But that also seems wrong since I would then essentially be dooming them to a life of hauntings. Send it to P.O. Box 470, North Hollywood, California, 91603. I don't know if you can even send that big of a clock. No, they'll take it. They'll take it. So, I mean, just like the father, this broken clock is right twice a day. Fancy, fancy logic. Incredible day. I mean, yeah, first of all, all right.

Don't ask advice from the nine-year-old. Don't ever. I question everything you said once you're like, oh, well, the nine-year-old says that we got to do this. Yes. That seems crazy to me. I don't care what's going on there. Yes. I think that don't listen to the dog about the clock. That's the other thing. So just get rid of the clock. Get rid of the clock. If it's not working...

She's taking up space. Also, fixing a grandfather clock is extremely expensive as well. Yeah, of course. Because there's only like 10 dudes that do it. Yes. So you have to find these people with skills. Benjamin Franklin is dead. He has been dead. Yeah. I don't care what anybody says. Yeah. Who needs a clock? I don't care who Dave Dave is.

Yeah, so yeah, P.O. Box 470, North Hollywood, California, 9-1-6-0-3. Fucking smash and party. Never smash the clock. Never destroy a haunted object. Smash and party. Never do it. First of all, it's not haunted, probably.

You were the one afraid. You're afraid of the Ouija board. I'm afraid of a Ouija board, something that conjures spirits. We already have like five Ouija boards in here. I don't like any of them. I have them in my home. I don't like those either. I used to have one that I gave away. But this is why we're a science-based show. Yeah. Spiritual science. That's not real. So every day, come to your spiritual scientist jobs with your boo meter.

and your phantomographer, and then you can show the whole world how there's so many ghosts, and you can laugh with all of your ghost girlfriends, because you don't understand, you fucking idiot. Is that all the ghost chicks are wild for a guy with a fucking...

each kg machine so you gotta fucking go and you show yourself man get them girl ghosts and you could love the fact that you are you're loving you're living and you're laughing with these ghosts and you're living known for fact you're gonna fucking have sex with a bunch of ghosts tonight and then when you come it's just yourself and then you get the blessed silence of being alone in the room here's what i think i think that this man tortured this family

And now even after he's dead, they remember the trauma that he gave them.

He's gone. Let him go. That's what you're doing, dude. Let him go. That's an ergo gore is what you're saying right now. That is literally what we talked about when we did our haunted objects episode. Yes. Yeah. He's gone. He's dead. He's a fragment of your imagination. He's not in the clock. He's fucking dead. Unless you're sending him to us, then he's very much in the clock and we're going to feed him good. We don't have room for a clock. I'm going to put a burger in it. It's a grandfather clock. We are out of space. We got plenty of room. We are out of space. We'll put it up. We'll put it. We're going to put it. I'll put it in the bathroom. A grandfather clock in the bathroom. Yeah, that'll put the bathroom.

No. We'll see what happens. Know what I want? Grandfather cock. Yeah. Send me those. Come on. Let's see them. Sidestories, L-P-O-T-L at gmail.com. Send me, send us your grandfather cock. Go to patreon.com slash last podcast on the left to go and pay to see this. And we'll show you grandfather cocks live on stream. Mm.

I'm going now. We're doing LPN Deep Dives 2 and it's on its own. It's on its own feet. The new review episode is out. People are definitely not upset about it. Zendaya can sing. Zendaya can sing? Sure. Yeah. Isn't she a part of her thing? Yeah.

She's a Disney Channel person, right? How do you think to get the job? Just send me a fucking clip of it and I'll believe it. Get the Disney Channel, watch it yourself. Why are you making these people do your homework? I'm sick of doing it because that's their job. I come in here every day, deliver nothing but gut-busting hilarity. It's called Deep Dives. Yeah, but not this show. Yeah, but the one that you were wrong on. But that was Dune. He's not on Disney.

Go to LPN TV on Twitch. Twitch.tv slash LPN TV. Go check out all this stuff. Honestly, my Tears of a Clown deli meat edition is on YouTube right now. You can go check it out. And we're going to go at it, bro. I can't wait. Summer ham. Summer ham. It's happening. It's happening. We are having a sandwich decathlon. I can't wait to do this. I don't even know what it is yet. You've talked about one of the... One thing I will... One preview is we're definitely going to do a slalom race.

Us seeing if we can hold all of the ingredients of a sandwich together on a hero. Yes. That's one of the challenges. Yeah, but we don't know what those ingredients are going to be. Obviously, it has to be edible. Yes, it has to be a sandwich you would order. And I think that we should be given ingredients and have to make...

a sandwich. I love that idea too. Yeah, something like that. Yes, I love the crafting segment. You know, who eats the most sandwiches? No, we don't like it. I don't want to get sick. No, it's a decathlon. We're there all day. It's quality, not quantity. It's all day. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Excited for this. And so we'll put that, that'll be live somewhere. Yeah, and go check fucking TikTok for some bullshit. And LP on the left. There's TikTok on there. You got to go and look at it. Oh,

The Brighter Side is going to be changing times on LPN TV. Yeah, so we're going to stay biweekly, but we're moving to 630. Yeah, and Spun is going every week, and it's going to be there as well right before. And that's going to start on March 20th for Brighter Side. And that means that Tears of a Clown and Brighter Side will be alternating.

That sounds great. Yeah, that's going to be awesome. And listen to the brighter side. We're about to start doing two episodes a week. Yeah, I love this. Yeah, so is Whisper and so is Page 7. Yeah, we're fucking doubling down for you fucks. Pump it out! We're getting it, baby. We're pumping it out, you fucks! Yeah, man, I'm all about it. You're going to choke on it! Choke on it and die. Go see our show, though, before that happens. Yes, JKUltra. Go check out our last podcast on The Left Live.

It's all the various North American cities we have listed and more. And New Zealand and Australia, of course. Yes. And, oh yes, please. Australia, New Zealand. And the tickets are selling. I'm very surprised. I don't know. I don't know. I'm new to this thing. I was like, I don't think anyone's coming. Everyone's fucking buying the shit out of these tickets. Unfortunately, they have to. Yeah. So you fucking better buy these tickets. You're going to come out there. We're going to have a good time in the store. And we're going to do some different things. A lot of it's going to be different. It's the same. But a lot of it's going to be different. So I'm excited. Yeah. I love you guys. No.

I love myself. I love Henry. I love Rob. I love you. I love Marcus. I love Tootsie. God bless you. And I love this Karen chick. Yes. Well, let's see how she does. All right? Because I think it's going to be difficult. I think she's going to have a rough go at life. Yes. For the rest of her time. And I don't think she deserves it. We'll see. I think she's a difficult one. But actually, big ups to Kevin Carpenter. Love this guy. God does what he does. I mean, now watch him come up with a series of horrible crimes. Right now, he seems fine.

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