Side Stories: Mystery Meat Pile
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Hello! Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the Brighter Side here to check in with you, see how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air fryer in the bathtub but nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first? Then the Brighter Side podcast is for you! Oh yeah!

Each week we take nasty, dooky, stupid, dumb... Stinky, no good, doo-doo factory... Boo! ...caw-caw-like topics and try to find the brighter side. Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chained to a bed in Russia? Um, at least they have free health care. That's right! So start your weekend off right every Friday with The Brighter Side on The Last Podcast Network. You beautiful babies. ♪

There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. You know what's interesting about Robert Durst? You know, he is... The jinx is great. ...untrustworthy to look at, obviously. But there's a lot of people you find out as you're watching, especially season two.

That everybody thinks he's cute. It takes a village. He does seem like a charming guy in a way. Not to me. I mean, yeah. I mean, we now know from outside, we know that he's not a charming guy. I don't know. How does he make it interesting with a guy who talks like that? Right.

I don't... They found me... Well, he's very frail in season two. With the gun. When you rewatch season one... He had $80,000. Yeah, he was like, I had a little bit of cash with me. It was about $80,000. Jesus Christ. $80,000. Oh, boy. Every single time the lawyers goes, oh, boy. Oh, boy. Oh, boy. Because if you want to make...

Because you know that's a very, very expensive lawyer. If you are making that lawyer go, oh boy, that is, that's up. 50 grand. Boom. 50 grand. Boom. Done. Welcome to Side Stories. It's me, Henry Zebrowski. I'm sitting with Ed Larson. We're talking about season two of The Jinx, which is currently on HBO.

It's not on HBO anymore, is it? It's on HBO. No, it's Max. Max. It's not called HBO anymore. I can't. They have an HBO area on Max. It's not clearly delineated, which is why when I was looking at all the Natalia Gray stuff, I was like, HBO's making this stuff? Yeah, yeah. It's bad messaging. Dude, I got so mad with fucking Hulu is...

infiltrated my Disney Plus. I'm fucking furious on this shit. We can't do this. I come to Disney Plus for my Disney material. I know. We can't do this, Eddie. I don't want your stupid Hulus over here. We can't do this. That's why I got Hulu. I know. I got a Hulu for my stupid Hulus. We know. We know. We can't start today. I got a Disney for pure. We can't start today mad about the apps. Fuck the apps. Because if we start mad about the app,

We're never going to get to laughter because you and I are just going to yell and yell and yell and yell about things. I haven't enjoyed any of these apps since Potato Skins. And that's honestly difficult for him to even say because if he could, he would do tapas that way, but it would just be a bloomin' onion. Yeah, it would be a bloomin' onion. It would be a bunch of jalapeno poppers. That's his version of tapas, which I think is technically fupas. I think that's what I would call that. Have you ever taken calamari anally? Okay.

you've never had it. You've never had squid until you've had a squid suppository. Yes. Inky in my dinky. But I wanted to bring up

a recent thing on the season two of The Jinx. Okay, yeah. It's like, because it started a conversation between Natalie and I. So what has now come, we're on episode two. It's still coming out. Spoilers, Robert Durst is bad at murder. He was good at it, but he had a lot of money. I mean, he was great at it. Well, he was good at having a lot of money and using that to get a proper defense. He got it. He staged an incredible defense. He said, I cut this person up. That's how good his defense was. And then he, I mean. And he got off. Dick to Garen.

The guy who went into Waco. He was very, very good. It's the same dude. Yes, he was very, very good. And so he got him off for his first crime outside of Galveston, which was his neighbor. He dismembered the body. Somehow he got off of that. We now know that he was still implicated with his wife, Catherine, who's missing, and his best friend, Susie Berman, that was shot. Now, this is very... Susie Berman was shot, like, what, in the 90s or something, right? Not that long ago. I want to say 2000. 2000.

2000. Well, she was shot in 2000, but he was just convicted for this. He wasn't convicted until 2022. And so this took a long time because what we're seeing in season two, which I think is really interesting, and they're not paying us at all. No. What did they arrest him for in 2013? They arrested him for that. No. They arrested him for the murder of the guy, his neighbor. That was that. Susie Berman, they never had the evidence to put together on him. It wasn't until they finally got...

This proper, essentially, they're his bro to flip. So Susan Berman was Robert Durst's friend. Now, Robert Durst, just to remind you, he is the, was the eldest son of an extremely important real estate family company, the Durst Company, whatever they were called. They own a bunch of Times Square. They own a lot of Times Square, and I believe they own the Freedom Tower.

Okay, sure. And so they're the ones that built it, I believe. And so Robert Durst, he is the heir to billions of dollars. He's married to a very strange woman that also was his consigliere or was his consigliere. She's now fighting to keep any one of his victims from getting a hold of his, essentially, his inheritance. And his mistress. Because he's worth something like $100 million. It's like the first payment.

It's like a hundred million and they're all trying to go get it. No one can get it. It's the government that had just come take this money. That's because it's will. That's the power of wills. That's the power of like having everything in writing. Kill somebody. No, as long as it's written down in a will, it's still your assets, whether or not you murdered somebody or not, they can come and sue in a civil case to try to get some of your money as a,

an apology for murdering my granddaughter. Like, you know, that's what happened with OJ Simpson. But then he gave them nothing. No, they are, again, they seem to be very good at hiring lawyers. That's his main skill. So he is implicated in the murder of Susan Berman. Now, Susan Berman was his best friend. Robert Durst, you see all these pictures of him hanging out with Susan Berman. Looks like an Altman movie. You know what I mean? Like, everyone's kind of dressed in that weird Woody Allen style. Like, you know, what was that? French people

in New York. Yeah, very fancy. Very moneyed fancy. And they had another... That Long Island energy. The rich Long Island. Yes. Not the Long Island worth hanging out with. Yeah, Rob's family. Yeah, yeah, yeah. My family. Yeah. Alright, so but he was implicated in her murder now. Wait, they have a second best friend. A man by the name of Nick Chavin. Now they were like a triplet set.

They loved each other. They were all best friends. Was also Chinga was his name? That was his name. He went from, he went as his stage name when he was doing his version of erotic country pop from the 70s. His name was Chinga Chavin was when he went as Chinga Chavin. And so Robert Durst, essentially when he was working for the Durst organization for 18 years, he gave Nick Chavins. Cum stains on my pillow. Yeah, cum stains on my pillow was the name of the song. It's great. Dry humping in the back of a truck. This is all the documentary.

Come unto Jesus. Yes, it's great. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And his wife hates it now. His current wife hates all his past and shit because now he's a multi-multi-millionaire that works for this giant marketing firm. Benny's and Beer. Yes, and Nick Jailbait. Oh, great.

Oh, I bet you that holds up. Asshole from El Paso. And then now is that about a person or an asshole? I bet you it's about an asshole. But Nick Chabon, what he is saying is that he for a long time was sticking up for Robert Durst. And he says that he owes his entire life to Robert Durst. Robert Durst, who had access to billions of dollars, gave Nick Chabon

Nick Chavin, an opportunity to change his life where he basically gave his buddy who had very little experience in marketing, one of the biggest clients on the face of the planet. He just gave him the Durst organization. He started doing all of these various advertising things for their real estate empire and made him millions upon millions of dollars. So the what's really kept him out of jail is.

Is this triangle trust? The Durst family does not want to have anything to do with Robert. They have completely disowned him. They are funneling the money because legally, I guess they have to. I mean, they could cut his ass off. But I think that there's something with the way, there's something with the trickle down of the organization, how he's allowed to have access to the money. The dad's probably dead and signed off on it or something. Something had, because now his brother Doug's in charge of the organization. Doug don't like Robert.

No, he don't want none of that because Robert's try to kill him three or four times. Yeah. And he has to have fucking bodyguard at all times. And so this is story where Nick Chavins best friends with Susan Berman and Robert Durst. Susan Berman gets murdered. Robert Durst is probably, if not the only, but the number one suspect in her murder.

What do you do as a group of friends when one murders the other? He said, Nick Chavin said, the one thing is I was trying to hold out was this idea that I, my loyalty to Bob

outweighed my loyalty to Susan. That's what he was saying for a long time. That he had loyalty to Bob because Bob essentially gave him his entire fucking life. Now, also, caveat, we're only in the second episode, you know, so there's no real spoilers here. No, well, there's no spoilers if you look at the Wikipedia. You know what happened. Nick Chavin flipped. Nick Chavin was the guy that was like, they finally got at him. It was through his wife. So...

What do you do when you're with like two best, best friends? It's essentially like. I think every situation is different. Yeah. But like I feel for me, it's like my best friend kills my other best friend. We've now murdered. Once murder's in there, I can't stick up for you anymore. Really? I think if you're murdering, there's a lot of other crimes that I'm not fine with. What if it was a crime of passion? Well, what is it? Are we playing Risk?

That's not a crime of passion. Yeah, you get mad over a board game. We play Monopoly and then he flips out. You know, you get a little drunk, you start wrestling, and then all of a sudden it gets real and then one of them dies. It never happens. Who does this? Tony Soprano and his brother-in-law. That's fake.

It's a television show. What two boys just start wrestling and then it gets serious? Because if two men are wrestling and it gets serious, that's sex. Okay, all right. So you and Cena, you're wrestling, we're drunk, okay? Why are we wrestling? Because we're drunk and we're fooling around. I don't do this, though. I don't play grab ass with boys. I know, but Cena jumped on your back. And you're like, get off me, get off me, get off me. And you throw Cena off you and he hits his head.

And he dies. God forbid. God forbid. God forbid. Now what? Bury his body. Yeah, you see? That's murder, though. But it's murder. It's an accident. Yeah. It's an accident. Yeah. But this is a shot in the head. Yeah, that's different. That's different. If it was an accident, we can all understand. Right? I think we all can understand. Accidents happen. Yeah, accidents happen. You know, so that makes one. That's one thing. That's an accident. That's not murder. Was he there?

We don't know if Nick Chabon was there. No, he definitely wasn't there. No, he was not there. No, he did it. Robert Durst did it for technically unknown reasons, but it just seems like it was because maybe... Because she was going to rat him out. Yes. That's what was going to happen. She knew about Catherine. We don't know that for certain, but we sort of know that for certain. Yeah, yeah. I'm also, like I said, I'm only in the second episode. But there's really nothing that's not revealed by the Wikipedia that's not going to be in the series. I said I didn't read the Wikipedia. Got you.

Why? So you know what happens. Enjoy the series. But I got to talk about the show. So I got to know where it goes. But honestly, I am excited. But so far, it's been great. Go watch it. Man, watching everyone connected to the case.

watched the last episode in Jarecki's house. So fascinating. It was fascinating. Yes. And immediately they all just start yelling at each other. It was almost like a round of applause. You could tell they thought about it and then everyone's just like, that's not good enough. Yeah, yeah. We don't have it. Everyone's like, we have

it. It was kind of fucking cool. Because there was a very big, like, when you read about the trial, like, what they went through, it's interesting because they thought they had him dead to rights because Jarecki was working with the police. So, like, he knew that there was something. But technically, on some level, the defense was trying to argue that that's entrapment. But they eventually, we know the answer is that it was admissible. Well, they were racing.

They were, they were trying, they were, the cops were trying to arrest him before the show came out. For those of you that don't remember Robert Durst at the end of season one, spoiler came out nine years ago. He basically said, kill them all. Of course he knew he was still mic'd. He'd fucking let it all out. I don't know if we still don't know if he did it on purpose. What? Said, kill them all. Of course. He says it was because he was on methamphetamine. Yeah.

Yeah. Apparently, methamphetamine gives you loose lips. But if that's him on meth, what's he on, like, normal? I feel like you'd be surprised how much, seriously, how much meth is featured in casual use. And people use meth

But he says like five words a minute. Yeah, well, it's blinking 10 times a second. So the anxiety is in the eyeballs. But go watch it. I just wanted to have that debate with you about whether or not if I killed somebody, again, accidental, but like a purposeful murder. If you're going to kill my other best friend, we're not friends anymore. You killed my friend. This is a good cover-up saying it into a microphone now so when we do it in real life, people will be like, oh, we'll go back to this and be like, listen. Why do you think I do this? Ha ha ha ha!

It's called information laundering. Yeah. It's important to do. No, if I had to hide a body, I wouldn't come to you. No, please don't. Because honestly, I love a secret and I can't keep my mouth shut. Come here. I get the big one to tell you. Plus, I wouldn't trust you to dig. Marcus is the digger. Yeah, but even he gets tired. He does.

He does get tired. I don't think he's got it in him to hide a body right now. No, he doesn't. But that's how I feel like that's how we know he's completely recuperated. Yeah. No, I got to go to my back home friends for this shit. Yeah. I don't need you guys. Somebody you can get real dirt on. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. No one. All right. We're keeping the updates light this week. One is obviously Eddie brought up the concept of wanting to own a desert tortoise. We got, I never, I never had such a response from emails, a straight up,

up the list of cons. I'm supposed to go to Brad's in Oregon? He's just going to give me one? Don't go to Brad's house. Don't have it. Don't take one. What I love is the laundry list of cons of having a large turtle. Everyone expressed love for tortoises. Everybody was talking about them. They love them. They love tortoises, but they will destroy your entire home. They will dig massive tunnels. They constantly try to escape from their enclosures. Giant horse-sized cottage cheese shits. They will

fuck things. If it's a male tortoise, they will fuck things to death. They will destroy stuff in your house. You can't let other animals near it. They will destroy your grill. They'll fuck your grill. Yeah. And you just got a nice grill. You can't fuck my grill. No. You fucked my grill. I'll fuck you. You haven't even fucked the grill yet. No, exactly. That's your responsibility. I gotta season it. That's yours. Yes. And so, uh,

And then at the very end, they smell. You can get salmonella. They have to be washed. They need a lot of sun and heat. The shells have to be scrubbed. They have to eat very, very expensive, large amounts of food. And by the time they hit 20, they're not even fucking ninjas anymore. Yeah, because who cares if I'm middle-aged?

fucking ninja. There isn't any. Because if you're a ninja, if you're an active ninja, you're going to die. I'm not getting a tortoise this week. This is a talk for maybe 2025. It is. But the pros list basically said turtles, tortoises are cool and they are chill. Yeah. And you're like, yeah, it's a tortoise. Yeah. If a tortoise has zoomies, it's not a tortoise. That's a Komodo dragon. Yeah.

You got sold something wrong. It's not supposed to have zoomies. Yeah. Break that thing off. It's back. It's back. Yeah. It's not good. Yeah, exactly. Get it out of that. Yeah. So it was very funny. There was a lot of people, but yeah, it's still on the table, not off the table, but it ain't happening anytime soon. And then one thing. Oh, no, I'll bring this up. Appreciate y'all here. Yes. That was very nice. Thank you for the information. That's as close as we got. We got some other big news. Yes. Side stories.

Oh, yeah. It's got to come see Side Stories Live. That's right. We're doing some shows. What days are these shows? September 13th in Chicago at the Park West and in Philadelphia at the Theater of the Living Arts. And that, the Philadelphia show is going to be... We're going to have that Philadelphia fever.

a fever that's gonna be on december 6th these are our fridays before our um saturday shows with last podcast i'm so excited the chicago show sold out yes for the last podcast that is completely sold out and so we booked this other side stories the day before so come see us there if you missed tickets for that it's gonna be good park west i've been to the park west before it's fucking it's beautiful i can't wait to go it's beautiful i can't wait you know that's where the um the bears did the super bowl shuffle

Really? Yeah. Oh, well, let's do it. We should do it. As we've got to do, the Super Bowl show. Yeah, and then in Philadelphia, man. I'm excited to do Philadelphia. No, I cannot wait. I'm really, really excited. I'm going to eat myself so many cheesesteaks. We should have them all on stage.

All the cheesesteaks. I think it's a really good idea. We can have one from each restaurant and then we can test them. That's a good idea. People love this kind of stuff. People love hearing people eat on stage that they've paid money to see. Well, tickets are available through the Patreon today.

Wednesday, they're available here. And on Friday, they go on sale 10 o'clock Eastern for all the rest of you fuckers. So come check out Side Stories Live. The last one with the Masonic was successful and we had a great time. Also, people are saying they're blaming the goo that was showing up on the very front of my house. They were saying the slime is very polluted.

possible when little they think that one person trying to explain it away saying that with little dogs drink a lot of water quickly they tend to spit it back up and I know exactly what that is they say where it comes up it's slightly gelatinous colorless odorless puddle I have seen this yeah you have that I do it

You do it? I spit it up like that. All right. When I have. Your house is just covered in vomit. Well, no, it's a film. It's like a film that shows up in a spot. I took pictures of it, but you can't tell. You can't tell? It's not really a puddle of movable slime. We've gotten to the point where the next time you see it, you have to call me and have to come over. I will scoop it up with a. Don't touch it. Leave it. I want to come. I'll come over instantly. This is work.

I need to know what the fuck's going on over there. I don't think you have ectoplasm. We'll see. I think you got carmiplasm. I mean, carmi does make plasms. I've seen carmi's plasms. All right. They are gelatinous. I think one dog. This is a flat. I think one dog makes gooier throw up than the other dog. It's very possible. That's what I think. But it's not gooey.

It's a film. Exactly. But it's a film. Film. We'll get to it. Also, someone was saying here that apparently Steve Buscemi, they saw Steve Buscemi be rude once. Oh, come on. Everyone's seen everyone be, they also, who else? So he, oh, maybe he did get punched for a reason. I mean, come on. That was the most, honestly, one of the more aggravating, uh,

emails i read who did they say was decent let me look at this they were like they were like clear monsters were like they were wonderful them john john legend's fine i like john yeah he's supposed to be very nice he is nice i've hung out with him and chrissy teigen before they're a lot of fun uh jessica alba she has a horrible reputation i saw her eat sushi once oh yeah she has a lot of sushi rolls named after her she doesn't say have you noticed that she doesn't say anything though

You go up to her and you're like, nice fishies! Nice fishies, lady! She doesn't fucking say anything. And I'm like, weren't you in the original Fantastic Four that sucked? That fucking sucked! Yes, she hates that. I was going to say we had a friend that worked for her and she was awful. Oh, well, good. So there's that. Steve Buscemi's great! His wife died! You animal! Maybe that's what his problem was. Maybe he was just taking it out on some guy. I feel like if he was a better guy, he would have stopped 9-11 before it happened.

But that's me. Yeah. So if he was a better guy. He should have jumped off of the. Yeah. Caught the plane and wrestled it to the ground. Yep. Threw it at the Statue of Liberty. That'd be incredible. That'd be amazing. I wish he'd done that. Yeah. Maybe you got it coming, bro. Maybe you do. You anti-Bushami. You're spreading this anti-Bushami hate. All right. Let's look at some of these news.

Well, the first one I just want to go through over real quick is Son of Sam, Dave Berkowitz, The Night Parole, 12th Time. I can't believe that he even had, I guess it's nice for him to get out of his cell. He can go and like go hang out and do stuff and he can kind of go like say hi to people and go like, oh,

If it wasn't for the power of Christ. Oh, Jesus Christ. He saves me. He gives me little crackers. Oh, I love his attitude. His stinky little butt. Yeah. Oh, I love that Indian man. At what point is he no longer dangerous? Oh, he's not dangerous.

yeah he just needs to be in there yeah you just stay away yeah he's not dangerous anymore but he definitely needs to sit in there he's a because now he's 70 years old there is no way people that's too much to get out six too many to get out he's also the son of sam so any if you have a nickname you're in jail you're there if you're if he he held the whole fucking city hostage i mean after they let hinkley out i feel like it's all possible he didn't even get him he tried to kill a

president. Yeah, but he... What are rules? Emphasis on tribe. Honestly, what are rules? That's the rule. You gotta get them.

To go to jail, you got to get him completely. It's so crazy. Just winging him is only a little bit of jail. Just a little bit of jail. Just a little bit of jail. Just 50 years of jail. Nothing bad. 40 years of jail. No big deal. But no, David Berkowitz, he's going to die in jail. Where is he going to go? What is he going to do? I didn't realize he was so young when he was killing everybody. He was. I really just kind of show Sue how much life there is left to live.

Because think about it. He did his most important thing in the 70s. Yeah. And we're still talking about him. And then Robert picked him. We got a little bit of inside information. What if he was training dogs? I mean, that would be a really fun concept. That's a reality show. That's a great reality show. David Berkowitz training dogs for the blind. All right. Now tell him to kill all the long-haired girls. All right. Come here. Come here, Milano.

Come here, little Milano. You tell me, tell the man, tell the man to kill the girls. Show him he can do it. He did it to me earlier. It's hilarious. He's so good. I love it when he does it. He goes, kill the girl, kill the girl. God damn it. They never do this. It's so much pressure. That's the problem. I'm going to give him some propanolol. All right. So what'd you hear about the other fucker? Oh, Robert Pickton. I got some good hospital gossip on him, which I really, really enjoyed. Uh,

I came from Settle, which is a small city in northern Quebec, which is really close to Port Cotillet's institution. The maximum security federal prison where Robert picked him was when he was attacked.

This is also, yeah, a rock to row was there as well, which I actually did not know. Um, when I heard that picked him was stabbed in the neck twice and impaled with a broomstick, I reached out to my friends who still live there. Oh yeah. When you still live there. And one of them actually was in the room when they took him into the AR inside of the jail. Apparently he still had the broomstick.

stuck in his nose so far that it was in his frontal lobe. His frontal lobe was damaged and he's probably brain dead. I've also been told that they had to cut the stick because he wouldn't fit in the scanners and nurses were understandably extremely pissed to have to try and save him. So he still had this one part of wood sticking out of his nose and they all called him Pinocchio.

Now, that makes a lot of sense. That makes a lot of sense. And you can hear the Canadian, oh, Mr. Pinocchio, you can't get inside the MRI machine. That is a big schnoz. You can get a broomstick up there. It couldn't have happened to a nicer guy. The guy that did it, Martin Spike Karras. Oh, his name's Spike? Spike. The guy named Spike stuck a spike in his nose. Also, like, that's such a... You know what they call me? Spike. Spike. Spike.

Think about that. They shove it. That's like a Looney Tunes way of killing somebody. Oh, yeah. Sticking a broom up their nose until they're stupid. Yeah, man. They literally can't move. God, it's fucking crazy. So the guy, Martin Spike Charest, he's 51. He said he, quote unquote, wanted to serve the people by attacking Picton. He's obviously not mentally stable and has a history of attacking other inmates. He first stabbed Picton in the neck.

with a makeshift knife, hid in a closet, found the broom, snapped it in half with his knee, and went back to finish the job. Wow. Yeah, man. Spike was ready to go. I'll tell you what, though. You stab someone twice in the neck and once in the brain through their nose and they live...

Maybe Spike isn't the best name. Maybe you're not the best at killing people. No, no, no. Definitely. He ain't getting out. I'll say whatever I want. What's the opposite of Spike? Ice cream cone. Yeah. Ice cream cone. This is my boy Cone, man. This is my moose. Har from Harva. Hope you like what I'm raising. Stick, stick, stick. Why are you stabbing me in ice cream? Oh, it's just strawberry ice cream. No, it's blood. Just having fun today. Live from Northland.

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Now, this next story I liked because I love a planner. All right. Which one is this? In the good old-fashioned state of Arkansas. Now, an Arkansas man, he was arrested after police had found six homemade pipe bombs were found in his home, which is bad. His name was Lawrence Hickman.

He was arrested last week. Six counts of criminal possession of explosive materials. He's being held in the Benton County Jail on a $1 million bond. Now, he said he apparently decided that he was going to go to the Philippines on a kayak.

It takes harder. You've got to bring more than pipe bombs if you're going to make it across the Pacific in a kayak. Well, what he said that he was going to use the pipe bombs for was to protect himself against sharks. Okay. When they found him, he said he was going to go flee the country in an inflatable kayak.

So he, the police first arrived in December 9th for a harassment call. This was a while ago. They discovered these six homemade pipe bombs. So this is like when the, this is when he was arrested. So now we're seeing the trial come out. That's why the arrest happened in December.

Yeah. So they went in, they had to call the bomb squad. Obviously after a whole thing, they went to go with the going and they, they pull up these fucking pipe bombs out. They're all live. And then they said that that day, a neighbor told police that he was with Hickman who must've been a fun hang. They, he said that he, his vehicle, the, the suspect's vehicle was packed with the inflatable kayaks, a flare gun, bow and arrows, military guns,

military rations, 15 to 22 liter bottles of Coca-Cola, Jim Beam, and two teddy bears that he had bought for his wife to be his quote-unquote co-pilots on the trip. I don't think he was doing well. Apparently, he was on his way to be... You gotta bring water, too. Not just Coca-Cola and Jim Beam. Yeah, it's not good for your pee, all that corn syrup while you're on a raft in the middle of the Pacific Ocean. Now, the Pacific Ocean is also very unhospitable to rafts. It's big.

And it's going to be difficult for you to get out there. Now, I don't think he was thinking clearly. It seemed like what he was trying to do was get out of town before a court date for an unspecified issue. Arkansas is also very far from the Pacific Ocean. I feel like it would have been a long drive just to get to the water. But I think he was going to start from the Gulf of Mexico because he said he wanted to go around Mexico, go through the Suez Canal, and straight on to the Philippines. Panama. Panama.

Yep. This is him? That's him. Yeah, look at this guy. He looks like he already did the trip. He does. He is very, very unstable looking. But he said the pipe bombs would protect him against sharks in the water. And pirates. And pirates. Pirates. Pirates have guns. Yes. He looks like a pirate. He does look like a pirate. He's not going anywhere. He's in jail.

He's not going to go. He's going to go. I guess he's going back on trial for whatever it is that he was going to do. I just like anybody with big ideas. They're looking at he's going to get 10 years and a $10,000 fine. Why the $10,000? Why attach that to 10 years in prison? They always do it. I know it's such a small amount of money compared to the time. There's something about it's like these are the fees that are incurred.

It's like a menu. And you get them no matter what. It's the weirdest thing to me. Yeah, you just get those fees. Because I also think it's their... Because you know how they have like a series of charges? This is how we believe it works, but side stories, lpotl at gmail.com. But I believe that like...

Major charges are put on, and the more difficult you make the arrests, and the more difficult you make the process, cops just throw shit on you. You know what I mean? Like, a cop could put you under resisting. He could put you under any of that simply because he doesn't like you. Yeah, I mean, resisting arrests is an opinion. That's, yes. I hate that fucking law. But they trump that up, depending on whether or not they...

like you or dislike you during the process. Like they decide whether or not they're going to do that. And I feel like this guy might not have been super cooperative because especially because he was trying to go to the Philippines on a raft. Yeah. Which I feel like all of the money you spent and all these supplies, you could have just bought an airplane ticket. For sure. And I feel like I know that maybe you're not yet on a no-fly list because maybe he also doesn't understand that the no-fly list takes some time.

Isn't that weird? That is weird. It takes time. Especially when you're coming from AR Kansas. Like he just gets to, he could have been free. He could have been in the Philippines or whatever. Yeah.

Like where Robert Durst was on his way to Cuba. Oh, geez. You all right? Yeah. Well, Robert Durst was preparing to go to Cuba. Oh, was he? Oh, yes, he was. He had the map and everything. It was extremely difficult. Olivia, like a Rand McNally nap. It's like, come on. What are you doing? The mask. The mask. The silicone mask that he had was really fun. But also, it didn't look like that good.

It looked terrible. Well, if we didn't see it on them. No. You put it on them with a hood, it's a little easier. Do you not think that it doesn't, you don't think that you want that to be as fresh as possible? Do you think that the silicone mask doesn't lose some of its shape if you're taking it on and off quite a bit? Well, I'm sure it does, but, you know, we don't know what it looked like on them. We just saw them holding it. Have you ever seen the real shit? Sometimes they look good. But, like, yeah, the real stuff that the CIA uses and stuff like that,

It looks good. It looks good. We have a whole thing where you can pop on your head. They use them all the time. You put on a hat and a hoodie. I'm not trying to look at anyone. No, I try not to look too close ever. Except when I'm walking around my neighborhood. And then you fucking get up in everyone's face. I'm always staring in people's cars and stuff. Because I don't fucking know what the fuck is going on. All right, here we go. We got another story. I like this because this is a good old-fashioned mix-em-up. We got to be careful. Now...

If you're a Kansas mom, I want you to be careful out there. Kansas moms are getting eliminated by bikers. Oh, yeah. This is very, very... This one here is intense. This one's... It's intense. Before we go too far, you ever notice that about Arkansas and Kansas? What? That Arkansas is just AR Kansas? Yes. I love that. I think it has... It's an easy way to remember it. Wasn't there something to do... It was something to do with... It's just Kansas with more AR-15s. The Native Americans? The Native Americans? They were like, AR Kansas! Yes!

Is that how they talk? No. No, I don't think they talk like Ron Johnson. All right, we'll name it Kansas. I don't think that they talk like they were from Pirates of the Caribbean. Oh, look. I was right. The word Arkansas comes from the Quapaw Indian. By way of early French explorers at the time of the early French exploration, a tribe of Indians, the Quapaws, lived west of the Mississippi, north of the Arkansas River. Their Quapaws, or Quapaws,

We're also known as the people who live downstream. I think that's how you say it. Now, where does the actual Kansas come from? Now I need to know. While you're doing this. You literally yelled at me about getting us off track too much. Named after Kansa. The Sioux family. Okay, good.

Good. So now we're back to it. The wind people. All the fart. That's you and me. Yeah. Yeah. Come over here. It's South wind people. That sounds funny. Come see us after the contact of the desert after eating nothing but weird ass fucking con food for three days. You're going to meet some wind people. Now, this next story is very, very, uh, this is sad, but also I love a mix them up.

Now, these bodies of two missing Kansas moms were found by authorities in a freezer buried on a farm after they were allegedly killed by members of the God's Misfits anti-government group. Now, I don't know why they just kill moms. They had nothing to do with the government. Yeah. But a lot of times these guys, when they have like a multilateral mission statement and it's not focused...

it's hard to really pin down what their belief system is. Well, yeah, because I'm looking at the God's Misfits website. Well, it's got nothing to do with it. But they were inspired by them. They were not. They were absolutely totally separate. There's two separate God's Misfits? This is the mix-em-up I'm talking about. So...

So these two women, Jillian Kelly, the wife of a local pastor, and her friend Veronica Butler, they set off from Kansas on a road trip to visit Butler's children in Oklahoma. Sounds fascinating. They finished off the highway on March 30th, and their bodies weren't found by authorities for another two weeks. On April 13th, four people were taken into custody in charges of murder and kidnapping in connection to the two missing moms. So they were not very good. There was a

fifth God's Misfits member, 31-year-old Paul Grice, was also arrested. So they were found inside a chest freezer. It was located after a two-day excavation of a burial site in a cow pasture. Other items were also dug up with possible blood on them, including jeans, sweatshirts, t-shirts, a black jacket, gloves, ball caps, duct tape, a sheath, black knife, and a black taser flashlight. Again, I'm trying not to help our criminals that listen to the last podcast on the left, but remember...

Split up your hit kit. Split it up. Don't put it all in one place because you can't put all of the evidence in one place. It makes it very easy to get you. And when you're buying it, just buy it casually over a couple years. You really got to plan. You really got to plan. You're at a hardware store. You know what? Extra rope today. Just in case. Then you got it.

It's found interesting. McGrice, the documents also allege that McGrice had asked a witness on April 18th some suspicious questions. He asked the witness how long DNA would last in dirt if it was turned and also questioned if the witnesses knew how to get a guy and his family to Mexico, which normally I heard is go south. Yeah. A teenage witness told authorities that Cora...

But Twombly said at one point the plan was to throw an anvil through Butler's windshield while driving, making it look like an accident because anvils regularly fall off work vehicles. Outside of a Donald Duck cartoon, that does not happen. I've never seen an anvil unless it was at a theme park. This is what we're saying, in a pioneer town. I have never seen an anvil.

Like out there. I've never just seen it just hanging out. I don't even know how you get an anvil. No. What is an anvil for? It's for like making horseshoes, I guess.

Wow. Yeah. That's it. Making a sword, banging metal on. That's what it is, right? Yeah. You've got a hammer. Why is it shaped like that? So it's flat on top and it's super heavy so you can fucking smash. But why is it curved like a sexy lady? Well, I don't know. It's probably for making a shield. Who the fuck knows? I don't know. I don't know. But it is. Oh, anvils are shaped the way they are to assist with the blacksmithing process. Great. Thank you.

Thanks, Rob. Oh, great. Well, so the main beginner blacksmith may look at the anvil and simply see a surface for hammering materials. That's right. Okay. All right. Thank you, Mr. Blacksmith.com. But so these guys were, so apparently the big issue is that these two, one of the ladies that was murdered was having a, a,

child custody fight with one of the suspects. So it seems that these suspects and all the four people that were the suspects are Tiffany, Michael, Tiffany. These are the worst spelled names I've ever heard. Tiffany with one F.

It's typhony. Adams, it's typhony. It's typhony. She looks like a typhony. Tadbert Cullum. Kohler O'Twombly. Tad Cullum. And Kohler Twombly. Right? Now, they're all each one more attractive than the next. Oh, there's two Twomblies? Yeah, there are. Now, one guy with the Fu Manchu looks like he was happy. Yes, he does. He does look like he's very proud of himself. He's like, I'm finally arrested. Yeah.

I knew all we'll take is finally somebody let me get mixed up with the heist. I didn't want to call us the God's Misfits. I wanted to be the Devil's Rejects. But I didn't want to get sued. That's copyright infringement. That's a law I will not break because artists struggle.

I will not take their IP from them. They're hard-earned cash dollar money. But these guys were like, so they just called themselves the God's Misfits, which is lame because they didn't really have an organization. And guess who had a problem with it? The other God's Misfits. The God's Misfits. There's gods-misfits.org. If you listen to the guy that started God's

Because now he's coming out and basically saying like, I'm going to need y'all to understand. We had nothing to do with the recent group execution. We wish for them peace in the Lord. Because what the real God's misfits are apparently are a biker kind of like roving church guys.

thing. Yeah. Which a lot of, again, the guys that killed the two ladies, they do look like they would be in the God's Misfits. They all look like they know each other. They all look like they are buddies. So I'm sure the FBI knocked this guy's door down. Well, because this guy named Squirrel. Now the guy that's the head of the real God's Misfits. Squirrel. Squirrel. Now according to this website. Yes, and in case you're wondering, he is nuts. I love right on. Who is a Misfit? I love this. You read it. You read it.

I got here. Squirrel and wife. Sunshine.

Squirrel's my given name, but not my birth name. I have some health problems that brought my life to a halt. I've had to slow down and do things differently. Then, after 37 and a half years of marriage, my wife passed away. That was the worst hell pain that I've ever gone through. But I rejoice that the Lord has given me proof of the years that she was saved. And I know I'll see her again. So he is Squirrel. That's what he says, man, is that you can call him Squirrel. You can call him anything but late for dinner. Yeah.

But he has nothing to do with this murder. And he is angry that anybody would equate this group of rapscallions to the actual group of God's misfits. And you can tell because they did not register the URL gods-misfits.org, which shows that it's truly God's website.

Because it's an organization. This is .org. Yeah, that's true. Oh, here it says, who is a misfit? In case you're wondering if you're a misfit or not. I am. Ha ha. Ha ha. Yeah. I don't try and do something or someone I'm not. Oh, wow. Cool. Yeah. Yeah. I'm the same no matter where you see me, whether I'm at Walmart, church, or family gatherings. That's the old place I go. Because Walmart's for fun, church is for duty, and family's for fucking. I'm an individual, and I dress, look good.

Talk, walk as suits who I am, no matter who likes it or doesn't like it. This is from the website, God's Misfits.org. I don't try to fit into social circles where I don't belong. No, thank you. And I don't fit into the normal crowd. I'm abnormal. That's what the doctor said about my test results. I don't consider myself normal and never hope to be. Except I live in a little house and I go to church every week.

Which is really not that... But it is interesting. So they are trying to say, it ain't us. It's the other God's misfits. The other God's misfits have not fucking registered a URL, which to me means they're not the God's misfits. They are something else. And I think that they should sue. I mean, if he successfully sues these people, that would be kind of amazing. That would be incredible. That would be America. Because like...

They're selling their good name. Because God's misfits, they're God's misfits. You know what I mean? So you know that they're supposed to be good misfits. Yeah. I don't trust them, but I also understand that. But they work for God. But according to some people, that's like good. Right? But if it was like Jeff Bezos misfits...

That'd be scary. That'd be very scary. We all know that they'll fucking kill any of us. This is Assassin's Squad. Yeah, they'll buy your house and sell it to your fucking enemy. Put your little boys trained to kill. Made blind so they can't tell any secrets. They can't see anything, but they got echolocation. Big bat-like ears that he's been working on.

And all they do is fucking. But these things, they look like little boys. He does look like Batboy Groke. He does. They're little boys, but they were actually just men with perjury trained to die early. They're trained to die early. They want to die early in the name of Jeff Bezos. So they fuck. His whole crew, Jeff Bezos, Misfits, fuck. They suck. They cum. They shit and eat the shit. And they eat on top of the vomit and shit. Right? But guess what? They're not little boys. They're little men. And they're allowed. Well,

from your grave.

All right, so we got meat piled on the side of the road in Ohio. We got four people stabbed in a movie theater, or we got the slingshot shooter. Let's do the meat pile because the other things have more story. Now, the meat pile... It's happened in Ohio, in Washington County. It's just that...

It's a big pile. I know we're going to cover the other stories. We've got plenty of time because this style, this is across, this is in Ohio.

Meat pile dumped on side of the road in Washington County, Ohio. Here's what we know. This is according to the news to dispatch.com. I love it. Like it's like dealing with like, like a international scandal. Yeah. Here's what we know. Grandview Township trustees in Washington County said that a large amount of meat had been dumped along Grandview Hill Road. The person responsible has yet to be found. Hot dogs, ribs, steaks, chicken.

Wait, but this is according to, this is a statement made. Hot dogs, ribs, steaks, chicken. It was a conglomeration of looking like somebody's freezer or refrigerator. It's been 12 days since the meat has been found. And Hunter said the case doesn't contain as much detail because they don't want to tell people because it's still an open investigation. And I mean it. You say, oh, this meat pile. Yeah. Oh, what's the big deal about a meat pile?

It's a big ass fucking meat pile. It looks like Pete's the Hut. And when I love it. Got wet. How about this meat pile? Disintegrated on the side of the road. Also, what do we know? How to get removed. They're like, oh, they try to get it removed. And guess what?

Animals ate all of it. Now... I call it animals. That's probably where their logic came from. Now, also, I want to state that this meat pile doesn't seem to be wrapped. No. It's not like a bunch of steaks wrapped. That's what they're saying. That's what's weird about it. It's just meat. It's loose meat. It did not fall off a truck. Somebody had...

hundreds of pounds of raw meat. I'd say it's probably, it's at least 500 pounds. Yes. It looks like about... It's the size of a car. Yeah. I think you, like, my question is... More, Rob's saying more. It's more, you look at this and you're like,

Who had this? How do you easily place this in a pile? That's what I find interesting too, is that the pile, the construction of the pile is actually quite difficult. I think they built up a pickup truck with raw meat. Yeah, and then they opened the tailgate and they pushed it out. Why? To get rid of it, probably they've had a couple freezers go down or something. A walk-in could have went down somewhere. That's where I would start talking to

or HVAC guys. That actually makes a lot of sense. The local HVAC guys. Where are they working? What is the stinky fridge that they had to go fix recently? I'd also like to know, sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. When you, like, the idea of dumping this amount of raw meat out, like, is this a crime? Well,

Where is the crime? Because, you know, you throw, like, the rest. Like, are these guys going to get in trouble? I think a cheeseburger wrapper is litter, but an actual cheeseburger. It's not litter. Yes. I feel the same way. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Because something will come eat it. I'll throw out the peel. I'll put a peel in the garbage. But if I just have a banana and I don't want it.

I'll throw it out the window. I think even a banana peel is not garbage. I'm just saying, like, the first part of it. The sticker on the banana peel. That's garbage. That's litter. But yeah, but you could take an apple. You could throw it anywhere. Wherever you want. You could fucking eat a bunch of chicken. Those bones. You could throw them out. I mean, bad for the dogs. Bad for dogs. Bad for dogs. You fucking, you cook chicken bones. But you could throw them in a river. Throw them in a river.

Throw all this meat in a river. Yeah, you could throw that in a river. You could throw a hamburger in a river and it's fine. You could throw a bunch of chicken in a river and that's great. Yeah. That's cool. That's how you're supposed to keep it cold in order to eat it. You're being fun for the fish. You're giving them food they can't even imagine. They've never had chicken cordon bleu. They've never had Italian spicy sausage. They've never had...

Slices and slices and slices of soppressata. Or you don't know that it's good. You don't teach them. Why can't they? Why don't we get all the fucking good meat? Yeah, I know they tried to bury the rotten meat, but animals just dug it up.

Which is also like just scoop it up with a shovel. That's the same as this guy doesn't live close to like Gatorland where they can just like really use this kind of stuff. What did I learn from the last time we did a Gator tour that's actually very, very, very, very, very, very bad? To give them meat? You should not be feeding an alligator. Ever.

Well, yeah. Wild one. Ever. No, but like a gator land, they have to feed the gators. They have to feed the gators, but you don't feed the gators. Well, yes. I say you give it to gator land and let them use it. But they can't even do that because I think that they were afraid that the meat would all be poisoned. Where'd the meat come from? It's not wrapped. Yeah. It's loose ass meat. You got to know them. That's the thing that, again, you... I think that's the weird... I kind of know the gator land people. Yeah.

I think they'd take it from me. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. He's a good guy. Don't worry about it. Because the problem with it is that, because what else would you do? This would be a really good way to hide a body. Yeah. You chop up a body and you throw it in a slurry of other meats. Okay. Throw it into a river.

Dogs get food poisoning. Yeah, of course. You're not supposed to put spoiled meat everywhere. Dogs shouldn't be in homes. No, they're not supposed to eat spoiled meat. How is that even a question? Reasons why dogs should not eat spoiled meat? Because they're not your fucking... You're torturing them. This isn't North Korea. A wild dog, I think, would be fine eating spoiled meat. Yeah, every once in a while, but then they probably throw it up half the time. Yeah, they'd eat that.

They fucking love it. All right. So that, I mean, if anybody has any information on this, cause I don't know why it's a crime. I don't know why they didn't pick it up. I don't really even understand where you need. I'd love to hear your theories.

Where is this meat coming from? I'm sure someone knows. And also, if you're a guy with a big dump truck full of meat, bring it over here. We can do it. We'll handle it. We'll cook it all up. We'll do a whole bunch of things. It's going to be fun. Oh, that's a funny little joke that the man said from MSN. A large pile of meat found inside of Road of Ohio. No, it's not your mom. Whoa. Oh, leave the jokes to us, reporters. What the fuck?

These fucking guys. I can't believe that. There should be a union. There should be a comedy union. Now, the reason I want to go back to the HVAC things. Now, spoiler alert to The House that Jack Built, that movie with the serial killer movie. Yeah, it was awesome. The Laws Van Ture movie. Yeah. I loved it. I thought it was a really good movie. But the fact that as a chef, knowing that he was storing the bodies in a walk-in freezer-

Those things go down. Yeah, of course. He was doing this since the 60s? No, it would go down at some point. It would go down at some point. Someone would have to come and fix that. Oh, yeah, I completely agree. Yeah. So, yeah, I think that's my biggest problem with that movie. Yeah. No, I know. Of course. Yeah. It's like he never even tried to store a bunch of bodies in a cold freezer before. Yeah. So that's my problem. So I think that we need to contact the...

Columbus area HVAC guys. And see who's got what. Who's got a recent empty, bloody freezer. Who has loose meat in a commercial freezer? It could be a butcher. It could be... That's a lot of meat in one go. Yeah, they probably lost all of it. I'm sure it was a big hit for them. Well, I know... Remember a while ago, there was somebody who dropped... Someone had put... 50 grand of meat. Oh, yeah. Did you see the one a while ago where someone had put something like...

It was like 100 pounds of spaghetti in a river. Oh, yeah. That was fun. But it actually did fuck up all the fish and stuff. It's bad for them. Well, it's a lot of carbs. Yeah. I think that's mainly the problem. It's because they don't eat pasta. Yeah, yeah. All the time. I feel like if you got a fish used to pasta, I'd like it. Mm-hmm. Because everybody loves pasta. Everyone loves pasta.

Oh, here we go. Yeah, 500 pounds of pasta. 500 pounds of pasta found in Missouri and Jersey. Yeah, that big of a mystery is in Jersey. But that guy came forward and they found the person who did that. Oh, yeah. But we don't know who did the meat pile. Papa Mario. It's me. Sorry. My wife will make a love to Cooper. You ever have a met sausage?

They're good. What do you mean? It's like an Ohio brat. I'm sure there's a couple of those in here. I mean, I've had... They call them Mets. I've had many bratwizers. Yeah, but they're good. I've had many of them. Yeah, I know, but you gotta get a Met sometime. I will. Okay. Alright.

So now we look at this real quick. A serial slingshot shooter. Man, 81. I like this guy a lot. I like this guy. He for allegedly terrorizing neighborhood for 10 years. His name is Prince King. It's incredible. Prince Raymond King. Now, apparently in the small town of Azusa, California, he was

He would use, now I'm going to probably get a lot of Los Angeles. I'm immediately going to get messages are like, it was dangerous. Like I know. Of course it's fucking dangerous. I know it was dangerous. I think a little bit of chaos makes the world a better place. When you and I, I think that chaos, a little spice of chaos reminds you, you ain't in control. Yeah, man. And when it comes looking for you, you got to fight. You got to fight for yourself because our jobs, I believe this.

As growing, sentient, conscious beings moving towards a end goal of death and a chaotic sphere, our goal is to bring some form of meaning to our everyday lives. And sometimes what you have to do and you understand is that you can't, you're not,

You're hazing on the wheel all the time. Yeah, exactly. You can't triumph if some fucked up shit don't have you to triumph over. Sometimes it's important. And guys like this guy remind us all.

that sometimes you got to destroy a bunch of uh fucking windows with a slingshot because you got to but no i i do feel bad because dude essentially somebody could have died but they didn't no one got hurt so that's so we got our claim now this guy he apparently the deu they conducted a quote unquote lengthy investigation what is the deu um dick eggs university university university university

Oh, disability evaluation unit? Is that just to see if you got, like, what does that mean, disability evaluation unit? Just going like, I can see you move them legs. I can see you move them legs. You get out of that chair. You get out of that chair. And then just go, like, flip them out of chairs and stuff. Does he just grab a crutch? The disability evaluation unit? I know you can see. You throw a ball at his face, see if he catches it? All right, so nine to ten years he's been doing this. He's been doing this since he was, like, 71.

Yes. We're just like, what a time to take up a hobby. Dozens of people. Think about this. He started becoming a neighborhood slingshotter at 71. That to me gives me hope. Exactly. Again, how many lives you can live in this one life? It's incredible. Through a decade of vandalism, no injuries were reported. He broke some windows. It's been ongoing for a long time because we just didn't identify who the suspect was. He didn't even hit no one in the ass with it. But he got close.

He scared people. But apparently he got booked into jail. I don't think he was firing at people. I don't think he was actually trying to hurt anybody. They literally are holding him currently without bail. Without bail? Yeah. He never hurt nobody. Yeah, dude. And Hunter Biden's free? I can't believe this. So I guess it's decades of vandalism. I do think that what they're doing is they are making an example of this young man.

Because I think that they want to show the other octogenarians, just because you're 80 doesn't mean you get away with shit. Yeah, you can't turn into Bart Simpson at 80. I know that you're 70 and you don't understand what's going on, but you can't just show up with a backwards hat on a skateboard and act like things are cool. We're going to think you're some incorrigible little rapscallion because you are not a rapscallion. You're an old man. I think they just need to fucking train this guy and use him.

For what? For what? For tactical shit. I think that this man has already chosen chaos. This man cannot be trained. He's 71 when he started being a slingshot vandal. He cannot be trained. He is immune to training. I have no problem with this guy. Well, I am, again, because only by luck.

In the grace of the Lord. That he didn't kill anybody. Because he was using steel ball bearings. So finally, I guess what they decided to do. But they were small. They were small. You could still kill somebody, I guess. I don't know. We're going to get many emails about why. It's a crime. That's how this goes. And that's fine. I mean, you got to take this. I've chosen a side. You're allowed. You're allowed. If there was a jury of his peers, you would be one. They would let you on.

They'd cut you. Yeah, I'd be like, I thought I was one of the jury of his beers, man. I'm fucking hammered over here, bro. Fucking sling it away, Prince. Sir, sir, you are splashing Modelo. He is royalty, man. Sir, Prince King fucking owns you. You're going to need to leave that Buffalo Wild Wings outside. Sir, I mean, I don't even know how you got that in here. I don't know how you're drinking a Stanley Cup filled with oatmeal and vodka.

I like this guy, but it's weird because they appear. So after a decade of property damage, the department carried out a search warrant in King's neighborhood or earlier in the month. And they said that the investigators found an unspecified number of ball bearings on a slingshot. So I don't know. Again, was he framed by mill house? I don't know what happened. I have a slingshot.

Oh, that's awesome. Do you have one? No. See, I only got like a normal one. Like they show here, like the old classic one. Yeah, the fun one. Just stick with the, yeah. But like they have the ones that you put on your hand and you really get back in there. That's the one he had. He had a good one. But that's why it got dangerous because it can kill people. If he was using the one like David had, that'd be fucking cool. Well, yeah, that's a sling. That's a sling. That's a sling, but that takes skill. Yeah, I know, exactly. And you could see that coming. It's hard to do the slingshot like this. You could do that from a car.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. That's a good one with the arm brace. Yeah, it's awesome. That's what I need. Yeah. A wrist rocket. I'm going to go down them. I'm going to do this down Beverly Hills. They're not expensive. No. It's so cheap to cause that much chaos. You know what else causes a bunch of chaos? What? Fight a bunch of doves.

It's releasing them places. Oh, yeah? They're cheap, too. Doves are fucking cheap as hell. Is this an idea you have or a news article we're getting to? No, I'm... No. Just an idea. Outside of the news. Yeah. If you want to cause a bunch of chaos... Peace! Peace! Welcome to my peace! No!

no, peace destroys money. And then what we did, that works. And then all, or like a bunch of mice. People will kill pigeons, but they won't kill doves. Even though doves are pigeons. But doves, a group of doves unleashed can really ruin a recording of some kind. What? What?

Oh, you're just worried about problems at the studio. I'm just saying if I wanted to release, if I wanted to like, you know, sabotage Earwolf. Yeah. It'd be very easy. Well, they did a bunch of wolves. They eat the doves. And that's why they won't have me on Comedy Bang Bang. Mm-hmm. Because they're afraid of what I'm going to do when I get in those offices. Yeah.

A comedy bang bang. That's like when we all get together and fuck each other. No, unfortunately, there's nothing sexual about that show. Now, let's go. Let's do a little bit. According to releasewhitedoves.com, 100 doves could cost $600. Wow. That's easy. To cause that much, to cause all of these problems, that's way worth it.

So you guys, 100 doves is 600, and you only gave me 400 birds to go against Godzilla. We're not bringing it up. No, but this is like even more fucked up now. We're not bringing it up ever again. So this is $2,400. That's all you gave me worth of birds. Hey, hey, there was a budget for the March Madness. That's all you gave me. That's all I gave you. You see, only $6 for a dove? Yeah, buddy.

That's nice. I could do a lot with like 10 doves. Around $100. Oh, some people charge $100 for a single dove, but $600 for a hundred. I'm going to start selling doves. They're only doing that to fucking cucks, dude. They're only doing it to people who don't know the value of doves. I'll be like, oh, a dove costs a dollar. I know that for sure. I don't even know if I can get 100 bars of dove soap. You could buy a living animal.

for a fucking dollar it's not good it's a disposable animal um all right here we go let's get to some listener emails i thought that one of these was interesting so i'm gonna answer some answer some questions about a video i showed on the stream now i showed a video of a german politician by the name of martin neumeier who licks urinals and toilets uh

God, he loves being clean. Now, he's a politician with the FDP, the Freie Demokratische Partei, or the Free Democratic Party, which can be described as the German Libertarian Party. Makes sense. Okay. Merges asked the question of what kind of politician he is. He's running for city council, a beautiful little town of about 70,000 people. Love the urinals. That's not even bad. Not bad. There were toilets. The toilets that he was licking in the video were the toilets of a train station. Oh.

Oh, no. No, not a train station. When you ask, is this sexual? The answer is yes. His caption to the video was him apologizing to some sort of dom for being a loser slave and licking the toilets was his punishment. You know what actually kind of makes me nervous about it? It's not that he had a dom. It's that if he's a sub and he has a dom, the dom tells him what to do. The dom? What if the dom's working for the fucking Republicans?

Ooh. That's what I'm saying. He's got fucking, they got compromise on this guy. I mean, well, he's only running for city council. But you never, city council's where it really counts, dog. On a local level. I don't think he's going to win.

I'm going to go ahead. He used German. Yeah, exactly. I mean, I feel like they're like, oh, I had for dinner. A man of the people. This morning I drink my Vodka Schmeichel out of my yard. Right? And so the pictures of him covered in shit. You might have missed a small detail that he was purposely trying to give himself an Adolf Hitler poo-poo stash.

That is controversial. Once you bring Hitler into the poo-poo... It really is controversial. If you're just rubbing shit on your face, good on you. That's for you, buddy. But if you're doing it because you want to look like Hitler...

I got a problem with it. I'm upset now. Because before, I was going to help you. Unless he's like, I'm made of shit. Look at me. I got shit on my face. That's satire. Yeah, that's kind of fun. That's live in Germany. All right. That's different. That's different. This guy. And so he also mocked the German national hymn, religious text. He covered a dildo and poo and he laid it on top of the Koran. So to the question, is he fired? Not for the licking.

But he might face some charges now for impersonating Hitler. They don't like that over there. No, they frown upon it. And get so mad about it. As they should. Also, we're getting fed a line of bull.

From Red Lobster. What do you mean? Talk to me about this. Much like the nefarious schemes of the oil companies, putting the concept of the carbon footprint on the men, women, and children who walk around the United States of America and the world and certainly not have anything to do with the corporatocracy that runs this. They put it on us. So we didn't eat too many shrimp. Red Lobster, these fucking, after what we've given them as a people, we've given them a lot.

Red Lobster wanted to blame the American people saying that we ate them out of shrimp and we led them to bankruptcy. And they are fucking pieces of shit.

Because they have lied. Because Red Lobster was bought by a private equity firm, aka absolute fucking evil. It was by this firm called Golden Gate Capital for $2.1 billion in 2014. That's a lot of shrimp. They were bought... Red Lobster was worth billions? Yeah, buddy. Golden Gate Capital did so to obtain ownership of Red Lobster's most valuable asset. It's real estate. No, no! This shrimp's a smokescreen, my friend. Yeah, well, it should be the lobster. I know. Well, yeah. Ha!

This meant that every Red Lobster, so GGC immediately sold off all the real estate upon which it operated, was now renting that same space, which Red Lobster restaurants sat for, for about $1.5 billion. So they sold all of the property. So it's for the land. This meant that every Red Lobster chain that had previously owned

the real estate from which it operated was now renting that same space at above market rates. The overpriced rent became a massive line item on each restaurant's budget, which forced them to start making cut to costs elsewhere. Staff, portion sizes, food quality. The kicker is that once it had stripped Red Lobster to the bone and distracted every penny it could, GGC sold off its stake to another company called Thai Union. Guess what food item Thai Union has a huge hand in? Shrimp!

All right. Yes. Thai union is known for circumventing quality controls and food safety. And the endless shrimp fiasco was actually a result of Thai union using red lobster as a place to dump all of its shit here. Low quality shrimp. The shrimp was bad. Yeah. Yeah.

The shrimp was real bad. It was not good shrimp. Yeah, buddy. The story is a perfect microcosm of why private equity is an absolute cancer in society and should get us all motivated to storm these fuckers' offices. So, the San Franciscans sold Red Lobster. Well, they exploited Red Lobster. What do you mean the San Franciscans? Golden Gate. They're obviously from San Francisco. Oh, wow. They're obviously from San Francisco. So, the San Franciscans

bought red lobster, priced red lobster out of red lobster, and then sold it to Thailand, who brought over all the shitty shrimp. Yeah, buddy. And they're like, eat all this shitty shrimp. Yep. And then blamed us for it. And then blamed us for eating the shrimp. Yeah, buddy. I say we go to war with Thailand. And San Francisco. I think it's time to bomb San Francisco. About time. We got to do it. And they are based out of San Francisco, California. Of course they are. They call themselves Golden Gate. You never know. You never know.

It could be out of Oakland. I think that's it. I think we did it. I think we've done plenty of show. And I want to thank you, loyal audience member. Oh, I thought you were going to thank me. No. Yeah, you can paint. I want to thank you, the intrepid listener that stuck with us all these years. And to you, I say thank you. And... I'll shit, Claire. I'm going to cum! I'm going to cum!

I'm going to comb in your mom's hair, you fucking dumb horse. But really, honestly, thank you so much for listening. And our sponsors. We just love our sponsors here. We really, really do. We're going to give up the big shout out to our sponsor, Red Lobster. It's been awesome. We love, I love every day knowing for a fact you're not to blame for the crash of Red Lobster.

No. All right. We didn't do it. You didn't do it. You didn't do it. It was another industry that millennials destroyed. All right. You know what we can live? You know what we can live about and laugh about is the fact that we did destroy several industries, much like what did millennials destroy? We destroyed Kodak. Kodak.

We destroyed Circuit City, dude. No fucking bars held. Yeah, dude. Got rid of... No, Blu-ray's still around. They don't sell it at Best Buy. They don't sell them at Best Buy no more. They don't sell them at Walmart. I buy them on Amazon. You buy DVDs still? Yeah, me too. Yeah, of course. I like physical media. Me too. I absolutely love it. Go to patreon.com slash podcast on the left. You can watch us talk

Do it. Tick tock at LP on the left. Sure. Why not? Yeah. Look at that. This weekend, we're going to be a contact in the desert. It's already sold out, though. Yeah. So find us. So come find us. We're going to be there. We're going to do a little bit of live streaming from the pool. We're going to be doing it out there. I'm very, very excited. If there's anything good to eat in that town, let us know. It'll be fine. But I want to go to some restaurants. I like going to places out of town. Me too. Yeah. I want to see. I want to know where to go. It depends on how much time we have. I don't know how much time we're going to have. I'm going to make that food.

And you're going to go to lastpodcastandleft.com and you're going to buy live tickets to see us in Australia. We are sold out in Chicago. Come out to Seattle. It's next month. Honestly, we've only got a couple tickets left. Come and buy those tickets. It'll be great. We're going to Australia. We're going to London. We're going to Reykjavik. Come see us. Side Stories Live. We plugged it. We're coming to D.C. in July. Just come. See us.

Why don't we laugh a little bit? And, of course, come to the Side Story shows. We're so excited to do these shows and try them out. We did our practice show here for the Netflix Festival. Fucking crushed. Sold out audience. We're going to do Chicago and... And Philly. And Chicago and Philly. And Chicago's going to be, what, September 13th? And Philly is December 6th. It's your favorite time to go to Philly. It is. Well, it's fine.

The last time I was in Philly in December was disgusting. I mean, of course it's going to be disgusting, but that's part of Philly's charm. I love Philly. I love Philly. I can't wait to go. I can't wait. I gotta get some crab fries. You can get crab fries. Thank you. I can do whatever I want. Hey, I'm just letting him know he's free. Hail Satan. Fuck you.

This show is made possible by listeners like you. Thanks to our ad sponsors. You can support our shows by supporting them. For more shows like the one you just listened to, go to lastpodcastnetwork.com. Hey, Cam, mine's sending me over our new Wi-Fi password. Oh, sorry, Mitch. You can't be trusted. What? It's your phone. It's different than mine. Cam! And I thought I was a judgy one. No, it's just messages between different devices aren't encrypted. Okay.

Since when do you know about encryption? I know what encryption is, and it's because I'm the last line of defense against any would-be Wi-Fi thieves. Cam, come on. Okay, fine. I'll send it somewhere more private. Thank you. Safely send messages between different devices. On WhatsApp. Message privately with everyone.

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