Side Stories: Mo Money Mo Problems
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Hello! Ed Larson and Amber Nelson from the brighter side here to check in with you, see how you're doing. Is your day more disappointing than a gas station sandwich? Are you trying to put one foot in front of the other in a glue factory? Did you try to throw your air fryer in the bathtub but nothing happened because you were too lazy to plug it in first? Then the brighter side podcast is for you! Oh!

Oh, yeah! Each week we take nasty, dooky, stupid, dumb... Stinky, no good, doo-doo factory... Boo! ...caw-caw-like topics and try to find the brighter side. Hey, Amber, what's the brighter side of waking up chained to a bed in Russia? Um, at least they have free health care. That's right! So start your weekend off right every Friday with The Brighter Side on The Last Podcast Network. You beautiful babies.

There's no place to escape to. This is the Lost Podcast. On the left. Side stories? That's when the cannibalism started. Side stories. Yes. What a special day. You know what they say, especially in show business, there's no second chances. Not in this life. Some people, maybe some people do get it.

Multiple chances. I am a... Charlie Sheen, Robert De Niro. Lots of people get lots of chances. I like second chances. But Holden McNeely gets two. Holden gets as many as he needs. Well, he gets the second. This is his second chance to really wow the people. Yeah.

Oh, is he here to ruin your podcast for you again? Yes, he is. Yeah! Now, Henry did give me the note right before we started to not be me for this recording. And I actually- So today, as an executive producer, I feel like it's one of the best notes I've ever given. Well, you also said be him. So I want you to be you, but don't be you. Be less you. So today I will be British Brian. Hello, I got herpes. I need you to eat them out me.

out me arsehole. You know, right before we also talked about how Marcus said that Holden... You didn't respond to British... I didn't. I only responded as British Barry when you ate me herpes out me arsehole. I said right before, I said...

Don't be you. And then right before, also, we were discussing that Marcus said that Holden was the loudest single person that he's ever recorded. Yeah. Yeah. And I've tried to be the loudest, and it's still Holden. It's the throat, I think. I think I got me herpes by trying to prolapse me arsehole with a vacuum cleaner. Yeah.

This is going well. He prolapsed his asshole. Oh, yes. I'm sorry. I'm just here to do this. Thank you to trans. There's no subtitles. Thank you for the translate. Welcome to Side Stories. Hi, I'm Henry Zebrowski. I'm sitting here with Ed Larson. I got a new chair.

Yeah, because you were too fat for the other one. I was too fat and it was squeaking. That was not squeaking. Wait, hey, let's not stress this thing, man. All right, if you brought another chair to the verge, then I don't know. I said get me a stable one. The one that, you know, I can't ever

move around. Yeah, we got a one that you can really like, let's say you were being electrocuted in it that you would be able to hold your jerking, snapping body back. Madeline was so nice too. Our studio manager, she like texted me. She's like, so what kind of chair would you like? We're thinking about getting you a new chair. I was like, it's because it squeaks and I'm too fat. She's like, no. See?

See, that's nice. Call me fat. Call me fat right now. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I need you to do it. And we also- Look for the one that handles the fattest people. Yeah, who's got the biggest guy? That's the chair I want. The Fat Man Chair Store. This is wide. This is a wide one. I like this. I didn't know how we got it in Los Angeles. Yeah, man. I'm surprised it came through the door. Yes. That's fucking amazing. We're also sitting here with Holden McNeely. Yeah, fuck yeah, dude. I'm back, motherfucker.

Fuck off. Yeah, man. I dropped my new hip hop album. Fucking shoot cops is what it's called. Wow. Yeah. I feel like it's a dangerous. What's the title track? What's the title track? I did. I did it once. Allegedly. It's not good. It's not good.

It's not good to just put it in a song. This is in Chicago. Chicago, they are killing people just to put it in the rap songs. Have you done any research? I believe it's called. It's bleak. It's called like Skrill. Yeah, yeah. I actually did read that Rolling Stone article. Yes. And it's very, very scary. People are killing each other just for them to not be posers within their own songs. But hey, you know, I get it.

People come for you fast on the internet. You got to make sure that you are walking the walk. So if you're talking about killing people, you better be doing it. Because it's like going into a, it's like wearing a Fleetwood Mac shirt. And someone says, oh, I also love Stevie fucking Clicks or whatever. And then you're like, what? You know her name. You know her name. Yeah, yeah. Man, I remember back in the day, people used to fucking kill people and then become rappers.

Yeah, dude. You got to earn the street credit first, dude, before you start doing deals and getting sponsorships and shit like that. Or it's like with Snoop Dogg. He was way famous first, and then he shot the guy accidentally. Then you go through court, get off, right? Remain innocent. Then you're innocent. Then write a song about it. He's making money on money, and he got to kill the guy. Murder was the case that they gave him. Yes. Murder was the case that they got him.

He's got herpes in his own asshole. I asked him to not be himself. So we do have some good stories today. Sure. We have some good stories today. One, obviously, is Diddly Diddy. Yeah. Oh, that's what I'm calling him. Sure. The diddler. Oh, Diddly Diddy. Right? I actually would prefer to call him by his birth name, Sean Combs. Hmm.

Diddy, the rapper former known as Puff Daddy, also formerly known as- I didn't know that he's not known as Puff Daddy anymore. He's not. That's how far I'm out of the loop. It's P. Diddy. It's J-Lo. I've heard- It's Ye. I thought P. Diddy was a nickname for Puff Daddy. No. That's now his full exact name. But when was the last time he actually put out an album? He doesn't have to because mostly he's really-

Honestly, concentrating on human trafficking. Yeah. So now we're seeing, I don't know, obviously there's a lot of information flying out there, a lot of conspiracy theories. We don't know exactly what went down with Diddy. We know his sons are now arrested. They're not arrested. They're being kind of considered to be- They were taken away in cuffs. Yes. But then his drug mule-

That looked like a guy. You see this guy that got arrested? It didn't even look like a mule. No, no, he should have had ears. He should have had this guy, um, a, who looks, his name is Brendan Paul and he looks like a guy who'd tell the police everything. And so if you look at him, look at this guy, this is you, who you want your drug mule to be. Look at him. He looks like an intern at vice.

Oh, yeah. Like, this is not who you want your drug mule to be. You know who you want your drug mule to be? And this is free advice to our listeners. Old woman. Yeah. Or, again, I like the mule idea, a dog. A dog that you can teach. Or, actually, no, a monkey at the zoo that knows some sign language. Oh, that would be incredible. I wish that if we could have...

They do do that. They do fill animals with drugs and bring them across the border. Of course, yeah. They hollow out snakes. I love to see that. That's true creativity. The monkeys then know sign language and then they can work for you. A lot of cops don't speak sign language. And that's what's great. Keep yourself from being ratted on from within. Look at this

He looks like a shitty side character from Breaking Bad. Yeah, he looks like the guy that wrote Somebody That I Used to Know. Yeah, Brendan Paul is his name, and he is probably- Was he mewling it inside of his giant forehead? I don't know. I think he hid it in his- Guy looks like his own bobblehead. He has Bart Simpson-like hair. And the drugs might be in there, but that man right there is for certain telling the

police every single thing he knows about Puff Daddy. I can't believe Puff Daddy trusted this guy. Well, you know, it's a, how do you, again, it's hard to find a mule. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. Yeah, thank you. And it's hard to find a good mule. You have to find, hopefully you find an old lady with terminal cancer that's looking for a thrill. Yeah. So how many cups of piss do you think P. Diddy's drank in his life? I think that he at least, I think he tried pee once and now more so wants to watch other people drink pee. That's why they call him P. Diddy. Whoa!

Am I right? There he is. Thank you, British Brian. That's the kind of stuff you can wait to hear on page seven. Yeah, absolutely. It's always those hot takes. Always those hot takes. Always those hot takes. One thing seriously I will say is that Diddy said he was upset at the amount of force that arrived. It was like 100 police officers that arrived. What do you think they're going to do? Fucking be calm about it? It was hot.

Homeland Security, but he was like, you know, they destroyed the house as they do. But what has to be noted is that for them to get this type of warrant, so specifically, like they have to come to a judge and say, we're looking for these specific things on these gigantic pieces of property. So number one, they have specifics that they're looking for. So there's either some form of

Straight up evidence or some form of, they have something credible to say that that object is in this house and that has something to do with human trafficking. I think it's Tupac's boat.

It might be, dude. It might be. Oh my God, what if they find out that he killed fucking Biggie during this? Well, they know that he's attached to that, too. They've been talking about that for decades, too. Because he famously asked a group of gangbangers, I hope someone kills this man for me. And someone went and did it. So, we'll see. More of what I want to say, the reason why the cops arrived in such force

force for Homeland Security arrive in such force is because you have to round up all the staff. And you have to round up all of this. It's like you don't know if there's, like, you could show up to this quote-unquote compound. Yeah, it went peacefully and everybody went, but you don't know. Like, someone could come jumping out of a room to start shooting everybody. That's where the evidence is and shit. So that's why they arrive the way that they do. But they would not have come to these

fucking to his houses if they didn't have something, some kind of an idea that what he had that they would find looking for in this house. I bet they found some girl's hair at the very least. I just think that he's a... He's just fucking... It's just weird to have another person that was like a...

Some kind of like, I guess he wasn't cuddly. When we were growing up, he was way more like mace, mo money, mo problems. Speaking of mo money, mo problems. That's what he has. Yes. Well, I think we also, Sina and I, right before the show, we're also saying, I think it's important if you're going to be a human trafficker, that's got to be your first priority. Yeah.

Yeah, you can't have a side gig. You really shouldn't also- You gotta pay full attention. Yeah, you can't also be super famous. Look at R. Kelly. We got him. Bad news. Bad news. Again, loves a pee-pee. Yeah. It's hard to come out with hits when you're moving people in a sexual nature to other people. You know what I mean? It's a lot of calls. It's a lot of emails. Because all the songs he's pitching, it's like, I fucking sold a girl. I sold a girl, girl to a millionaire.

Diddy Lovin, love the energy, love having you back in the studio again. Maybe some of these lyrics could be more allegorical and not just a direct description of your crimes. Shot a guy who got in my way. First of all, that's a Broadway musical. You didn't even try to rap, Lovin. You didn't even try to. That is the music genre that Diddy is in. Now, because for his punishment...

He has to freestyle a rap about Diddy's human trafficking. People don't deserve this. You, hold on. You're leaning back like a king. He's just like, fucking, what do you mean? You told him not to do this. Let me drop a beat. Yeah, drop a beat. Let's see if we can find a beat. Yeah, get a beat. And while he's looking for the beat. You don't want to do it yourself? No. No.

No, no, no. He's doing it. He's the guest. He's doing the hard stuff today. Give me the fucking beat and I'm going to tear this up with my fucking dick, dude. I'm so over. First of all. I haven't heard your dick rap in a while. Dude, I've had so many people be out there on the fucking TikTok and shit just being like, Holden's fucking dick don't smoke. His dick don't have the bars. You're so loud. Your voice ricochets inside of my brain. You're killing me. It's like a 22 bullet. You're so loud. I'm going to hear you tomorrow. Yes.

Here we go. This is just for your own entertainment and his punishment. Holden McNeely is going to freestyle a rap about Diddy's side hustle as a human trafficker. Wild, wild west. Wild, wild west.

My penis is making me so sorry. It's done. Cut the beat. I don't know why I know all this. This is ICP shit, man. That was good. You cut that off? What kind of bad producer are you? I was feeling that shit. I was feeling that shit. Can we get it one more time? One more time. Bring that back. Bring that back. Uh. Uh. Wild, wild west. Wild, wild west. Jim West. Desperado. My pocket is dead.

I want you to lock it and squawk and insult many girls to another million. You know, thank you though. What was that, man? I feel like I can't even get to the fucking chorus. Two chances. I asked him to not be him. But then you made him be him. I'm forced to now. I'm forced to. I'm locked into this. This is a very serious topic. Right. I apologize. No, no. I'm glad that you... I asked for this. But...

But so did he, obviously you're innocent until you're proven guilty. Yeah. Do you think that's how Usher got his name? By ushering the people living out of his house? Whoa! Is he the list? No, Usher was just a boy. He was a boy who lived there. Yeah, he was a boy who lived there. And he said he saw some shit. And he saw the Bieber video where he's like, why don't we hang out anymore? And Bieber's like 15 and he's like, yeah, let's get some girls. Yeah, and she's like, you're a 15 year old. And then also there was the other weird thing with

50 Cent just came out and said something else that was super fucking weird. Well, he's putting out Did He Do It. He's putting out Did He Do It as a documentary about everything. It's literally called Did He Do It. Wow. Yeah, yeah. That's amazing. I feel like he don't give a shit, dude. He's been shot nine times. Hell yeah, he did. He don't give a fuck.

Well, we'll find out. Obviously, things are going to play out. Diddy has very powerful lawyers, I'm certain. I'm certain Alan Dershowitz is involved. Yes, I imagine that. Is he still alive? Yeah, oh yeah. No, I think the Dersh might be dead. I think the Dersh might be... I know that the women were so happy to have sex with him. Yeah.

That's what they all said. They were all clamoring to be the one on Epstein's Island to get the Dersh fucking situation going. Hell yeah. Love that concept. Love that shit, dog. 85 years young. Oh, he's still alive. So he'll be able to be right there in front of you.

Diddy to hire him. His ears are bigger than ever. Yeah, and this is... So we'll know. Who knows? It sounds like Diddy's sons might be more so implicated and we'll find out as this plays out. But it's not looking good! How old are the... Well, I don't know. That's an offhand question. How old are the sons? Are they 20s? Yeah, they're of age. They're in there. I think so. They're not in juvie right now. No, they're not children. Skipping marbles and stuff. No, no, no. Justin Dior and King Combs. Whoa!

26 and 30. Wow. So there you go. I'm really sad. And also, I'm not even going to bring, I don't know why I'm bringing this up, but it came up this week and I just want to lightly, I'm going to talk about this more next week because I'm going to do more research. But we talked about in the show the concept of Havana Syndrome, which was this thing that diplomats in Cuba were saying that they were experiencing. Nosebleeds, violent headaches, nausea, but it was painful.

paired with this sound, like something that sounded like a modem firing up or like this. And so this is recent. This has been over the last couple of years. So the United States government did a big quote unquote investigation saying, we wonder whether or not this is some form of sound weapon, either from China or Russia. But now it's looking like there is there is first of all, there was a whole thing saying that Havana syndrome wasn't real, that they weren't experiencing this thing that first happened. Now they're saying that they think that there's evidence that

that Russia's intelligence community was using some form of sound weapon against diplomats. They believe that there is evidence that shows that, but it's also looking like the CIA is also using it. Or we're doing it to ourselves. So that's why the CIA keeps trying to get me to go to a karaoke night over there. You get that brown noise. Oh, the brown noise! Oh, dude, I love

I miss you, Brown Noise. Yeah, yeah, the Brown Noise, man. Everyone says Squarepusher was what they said. He played the Brown Noise in one of his shows. The Brown Noise, everyone shits their pants, by the way. Wait, my thing is with the Brown Noise is that if you're playing the Brown Noise, don't you get the Browns too? You come pre-diaped. Well, I think, A, yeah, you wear a fucking diaper or a bunch of little diapers that you made a big diaper out of. I'm going to go to the theater of war with a diaper on.

Yeah. You got to protect yourself. You think that most soldiers probably wear bulletproof vests? Side stories, lpotl.gmail.com. Are you a military person? Have you ever worn a diaper out to kill people? And just to make sure to? No, that's a diaper to kill people. Then you shit. This is different. Yeah, but the brown sound- If you bring in the brown noise and you know you're delivering the brown noise to a crowd- If you're bringing the brown noise, if you're bringing that brown fuck-

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah, you get the type. You should hand out types. Sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. Is the brown noise even real? I don't know. Are you involved in the Havana syndrome situation? Please email me. I want to know about it, man. But this is, I really, only reason why I'm bringing it up is because it came up today. This whole report came out saying that there's probably some evidence for it to actually, like, it is a thing. Because we've been saying it's not real. There's a little bit of, like, diplomats. I was like, oh, diplomats just want more attention. Yeah.

Oh, you know how it is. They're always showing their midriffs. You know these diplomats. They're always on their fucking unicycles and they're in the fucking mall and they're doing their fucking TikToks in front of the fucking like Spencer's or whatever. And you're trying to go in there. And it's the really tall one too. You're like, we get it. You can do the tall one, which is so dumb and annoying. Who fucking gives a shit? So yeah, but now it turns out Havana syndrome might be real. I think that's fine. We'll get into it next week. I want to learn about this a little bit. Yeah, I'll send you on a trip. Because this is going to affect Florida if anywhere.

Well, it's named Havana Syndrome because it was first quote-unquote discovered in Cuba. That's what I'm saying. It's going to affect Florida because it's right there, 90 miles away. I say you fucking got to hit Mar-a-Lago with it and make them shit their pants. All right. Fly from your grave. This podcast is brought to you by Squarespace. Finding work-life balance can be tough, but Squarespace gives you the tools to reach your goals and have time to celebrate.

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choose your tone, enter what you need, and get auto-generated text. And that helps you save time. I know I'm sitting on about two literal wheelbarrows filled with horse pics. Now, part of the issue has been is a lot of these pictures are getting stopped at customs because some of them do depict various world leaders in horse-like circumstances that seems to be

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Angie Harmon. Okay. You might know her from Law and Order or Rizzoli in the Isles, which I have no idea what that is. Rizzoli in the Isles, I believe that's a Fast and the Furious movie.

What? No. What? It's not? Rizzoli and I? Oh, here we go. Perhaps their strikingly different personalities make the relationship between Detective Jane Rizzoli and medical examiner Maura Isles so effective. Jane, the only female cop in Boston's Homicide Division, is tough, relentless, and rarely lets her guard down. Yeah, yeah. Fast and Furious movies, if they have spinoffs, it's always like Luke and

Duh. Yeah, yeah, yeah. It's never something you'd have to. Man and dude. Yeah, it's never more than a few syllables of simple consonants. Well, anyway, an Instacart driver shot her dog. Oh, my God. Dude, this story's like fucked. It's crazy. Was the dog talking shit? I mean, it might have been. It's half German Shepherd, half Beagle Mix. Well, dude, this is also, guess where this happened?

You know why this is also very appropriate? North Carolina. Yes, it's Holden's hometown. Charlotte, North Carolina. Yeah, that makes sense. Look at that dog that got shot in the head. It's a cutie pie. It was very cute. But apparently it had to go. It is really fucked up. It's not

it doesn't look like a dog. I know it's half German Shepherd, but it's, this is not a scary dog. No, this is not a scary dog. No, no, no. If this dog bites you, you're fine. So according to Angie Harmon, she said that she, she thought that the driver of this, this, uh, her Instacart saw the home's ring camera was charging inside and knew he was not being recorded. So the police investigated this and just let this fucker

Which I have dealt with in the past, especially in the South, with cops and dogs. They don't care. They could not possibly give a shit. As far as they know, like, number one, they're not coming for somebody...

This is kind of private. My father got bit really bad by a dog, by a dog off a leash in Florida. And I went to go try to figure out what to do against this person that had multiple dogs that were off their leash. The multiple times these dogs have run out, fucked up with people. And the cops told you to kill him? Well, the dogs are just like, yeah, yeah, yeah. He handed me his gun. I was like, what? He was like, kill the father? I was like, no, my father should stay alive. And he was like, all right, well, I guess you killed the dog. But it turned out the dog was also a cop.

So it got really complicated. But then it turns out the dog not only was a cop, it was one of those

Hooker cops. Right. Where it's like, meet me around the corner. I'm going to suck your dick. Yeah, yeah. I'm going to blow you up. Meet me around the corner. You got to ride in the car with me for a little bit. We can talk about this. I'm not meeting you around the corner. No, dog. You know what? You and me are going to the fucking Cinnabon. And we're having a conversation about, yeah, you might be a dog who's learned how to talk and knows how to fucking suck dick. Yeah, well, I guess what? Well, do you want to be a prostitute or not, dog?

We're doing it at Cinnabon. The guy who shot her dog, he had a woman's profile picture and the name Merle, which could be a man's name, Merle Haggart, you know, so it could be a man's name, but it also, but it had a woman in his profile picture. And then after we shot the dog, he just kept saying, yeah, I shot your dog. Yeah, I did. Well, this is the issue that I dealt with. Oh my God.

Yeah, man. This was the issue I dealt with with my parents is that the guy was completely unrepentant about the dogs, could not care less. The police was like, well, you could file a report or whatever, but essentially the dog has to kill somebody for us to do something about the dog, which is you're like, I don't want you to destroy the dog. But this is like the opposite, though. Yes. This is one of those, yeah, they went extreme.

Because this dog went to- They killed the dog and there's no action. Well, it's because the South legitimately wants nothing to do with these- These police officers want nothing to do with these crimes for some reason. There is something- I think it's because it's either too personal. There's something about getting involved with-

pets and animals in people's homes. I mean, I'm very emotional about my dogs. Yeah, of course. If anyone did anything to my dogs, I'd fucking... I'd flip out. I think I'd do time. Like, it'd be crazy. I'd flip out. But the fact that, like, yeah, he shot the fucking dog in the head and then was like, yeah, I did it. Yeah. Because he had a gun on him. Well, to be fair, one of her Instacart items was my dog shot in the face. And I think that is...

I got to get that off. Why is this an option? I didn't know I could just click this. Yeah, that should only be available on Chewy. Yeah. Are they a sponsor? Yes. Thank you, Chewy.

But yeah, no. Yeah. Her kids were in the house. Like everybody was home. And this dude's fucking unloaded on and no charges. He must have had a concealed carry or something. Well, he yeah, he's like, I just don't understand how you set up. That's what's hard is that you were trying to set up. I might just attack you. I know the audience can't see that, though.

that though. So if I don't acknowledge it. I'm filming it. Yeah, but things do tend to not. If you want to see Henry's mic attack him, you have to go to Patreon. You have to go to Patreon. Spend money.

That's what you have to do. Can you set up? What was I saying? What was I fucking saying? I don't know, but I do have to say this. Speaking of Chewy, I don't get blue Chewy. Why are we trying to get all these dogs hard with this fucking? I actually do. We did say no to blue Chewy. We said no. We don't believe in the company. But why can't the police get this guy? If you have no signs of the dog was attacking you.

And then you get to just shoot a dog? You get to just do that? Yeah. That's weird. It is weird. It's weird. But hopefully something happens to this guy. But it seems like nothing's going to happen, even though she's a Hollywood elite. That is actually wild. Yeah, that is crazy. Well, it's because it's in Charlotte, specifically. Part of me actually wonders whether or not, because it's Charlotte, because it's North Carolina, we love our Southern listeners, but they might...

they might have a little bit of an issue with Hollywood people and celebrities. Charlotte loves money. It's a banking town. They like money. They don't like liberal...

Charlotte's loosey-goosey. No, it is absolutely not, my friend. I love that the two of you are the two people talking about what Charlotte's like, and I'm just sitting here completely silently. What do you think? Charlotte is very clean cut. If you want loosey-goosey, Asheville, right? That's where all the hippies go, and everyone's like, yeah, you don't go. I was in Charlotte for five days. I hung out with your wonderful brother. Right, right. We went and got hammered.

They don't even do drum circles. They do circles where everyone's literally just suck, like has a genital in their mouth around in a ring and they kind of kind of crawl

I'm not saying no. South Carolina's the trashy one. I don't agree. I love South Carolina. I like South Carolina, too. I'm just saying that I think that they look at Angie Harmon and they maybe don't care.

I think that they look at this dog and it's not a working dog. It's not a mudding dog. Right. It's not out there voting. It's a beagle German Shepherd. They probably would shoot it if it's out there voting. It's a beagle German Shepherd. It can go hunting. Yeah. Yeah, but that one doesn't. Look at this dog. Yeah. Look at this dog sitting on his old white couch. That is not a hunting dog. That dog could fucking rip up a possum.

It looks afraid. But it's not, though. It doesn't matter. It's so cute. I will say, at least Angie Harmon, we can go back through her credits. Because at the end of this article, what I think is funny is that they talk all about her getting the dog, getting shot, and all how the police aren't doing anything about it. And then it just straight up, other TV and movie credits during a career that dates to the 1990s. Food rolls and ancient Cody Banks. Buried in Barstow, still made secrets, and Chuck.

And on her IG page, she describes herself as actor, director, producer, mom,

I just feel like you want your credits to be boring credits. That's what she does. She goes to house parties. She works. What were you in? It's just like Chuck. Never heard of it. Fucking Boise Blue or whatever the fuck that was. I don't know. But I know Angie Harmon. I walk Angie Harmon. She's a known quantity because of Law & Order. I know her from Law & Order. I don't know Law & Order. I never watched it. That's good, but she didn't necessarily have to do it.

She did not deserve to have her dog shot. Yeah, and the guy, you know, he said he acted in self-defense, but he did not have a scratch or a bite or his pants weren't even torn. Yes. So he was not attacked. He was like, maybe the dog was running at him and he just pulled his gun out and shot it. By the way, this is a really bad thing to mention, but...

I love when you start sentences like that. If you wanted to go on a bad rabbit hole. No, I don't. I don't. Cops shoot dogs all the time. So go down to, he's got his new website. It's copshootdogs.com. Yeah, it's lemonparty.org. And yeah, it's. But yeah, no, they do it all the time. This is like, law enforcement does not care at all.

They shoot like Maltese and shit. They don't give a fuck. They like their dogs. They like their canine units. They are well taken care of. Yeah, because those dogs kill people for them. Man, I was watching a fucking- They call them the good ones. Yeah, I was watching a fucking- What's his pun? I love my dash cam and my body cam footage. I was watching one where this dude, he was real drunk, right?

And he left the scene of a crime. Like, he left the scene of the crash, and he ran away from the cops, and they chased after him. And what they did was that he was running through this field, right? They were like, he couldn't do this field sobriety test, but he could, like, run through this field. And then they just, like, saw him, and he thought he could hide by just standing against a door. Like, he's on this, like, house, he's standing against a door, and they just released, like, three dogs at him. Yeah. Man, oh, man, they got him good, dog. You gotta be careful out there. But,

He didn't have a gun on him. And those dogs are trained to do that. I don't think, I'm pretty certain this dog's name is like Caramel or something. I don't know if this dog was ready to fight for its life that day. Oliver. Oliver the dog. And I just want to say really quick, because they know you guys are dog people, but I don't own any dogs, so I don't want people coming after me for the aspersions I've cast during this story. You know what I'm saying? I fucking love dogs. Cats are the ones that fucking suck, dude. Well, you know, I've also-

But I wouldn't want them to because they have sandpaper tongues. You did an entire tour based off of the movie Cats. About how shitty that movie is and how awful it is. You love it. You've seen it a million times. We did a live watch of it on Saturday on my Twitch feed. You fucking love that movie. Dude, yeah. You make money with cats. No, the whole internet's always like, look how annoying this cat is. Isn't it the best thing ever? It never goes...

I really can't deal with your anti-cat spiel because we have done the anti-cat spiel. And people are mad about the anti-cat spiel. I used to not like cats. Right. And then I lived with a bunch, and now I think they're cool. They're fine. Did they get together and form into a dog? No, no, no, no, no. Okay. We kept killing them and getting new ones. No, I'm just kidding. The other...

Wild, wild west. Does Verado mention? I asked him to not be him. Either way, I hope this Merle guy gets slapped to death. Yeah, he needs to get jacked up. Yeah, that's crazy. I can't believe he's not getting any consequences for that. Well, that's called...

It's just fun. Living in America. That's what it's called, bitches. All right. Which one do you want to do next? I mean, this one's real quick, if it's all right. I mean, this guy was arrested for impersonating a firefighter. Oh, I love this fucking guy. Have you seen his face? Look at this guy. I did see it. Look at this. He's so high looking. That is the highest face I've ever seen in my life. Yeah, dude. He looks like Dab. His eyebrows are somehow above his hair. Fucking I love the smoke.

His name is Christopher Victor Miglino, 37. So you could still have fun in your mid to late 30s. On March 27, 2024, at approximately 1210 a.m., members of the Morganton Department of Public Safety responded to an address where a neighbor... So there was a fire. There was a structure fire. Yeah. And a neighbor was... When the fire department arrived...

They saw him outside, this dude, in a firefighter's turnout gear. Full FDNY gear. Yeah. Like, not a fireman with a garden hose. Just spraying the house. And they, I don't even know how he got the gear. He wasn't a fireman.

No. He's not a fireman. And so they like- They leave those trucks unattended all the time. I guess. With their fucking naps and shit, these firemen. But then this dude showed up. Leaving the garage open. Someone's going to steal an outfit. Hey, guys, watch it. This fucking house is fucking so hot, man. You got to be careful, dude. I brought my hose from home, man. They were like, when they showed up, they were like, thank you. And he's like, I'm going to do it. And they're like, okay, well, you have to leave. Oh, wait a second. Oh, a woman was-

Oh, this is brand new. This is a good update. Thank you. A woman died in this fire. Oh, so this isn't as fun anymore. This got a lot more interesting. So he's impersonating a firefighter right outside of it. Originally, apparently when they arrived at the structure fire, they started putting out the fire and were basically were like, we're good, buddy. And he's like, I'm helping.

I'm helping! Was that... Alright, first of all, maybe I missed this. Did he set the fire? Doesn't say he set the fire. I am going to say now, though. Now that we know that there was a woman dead in there, I actually wonder. I wonder whether or not... What is the motive here? Did he just want to...

He just wanted to pretend to be a firefighter genuinely? See, at first we thought it was a funny story about like a guy. Like there was a guy. And the woman died. Do you remember New York? We just did 10 minutes on a dog and shot in the face. We can't make fun of the story. We don't know where the dog was shot. We don't know where the dog was shot. But you remember in New York the guy that kept stealing the subway buses and the trains and he would drive them against me and everyone was like getting upset because he was just like this man that was just doing this and he kept getting arrested for it again and again. In my mind, I thought it was going to be silly. Oh.

Oh, he's Mr. Fireman. He thinks he's Catch Me If You Can. He thinks he's in this cool movie or something. What I think would happen is that now, if there was somebody that was dead inside that fucking house, he came outside, either somehow had a fire, he set the fire, somehow has this firefighter outfit, and thought maybe he would leave unnoticed. That maybe he thought that when the fire was over, he would leave as one of the firefighters. Maybe. It was not an audition. Well, the thing is, you can't show up first. Yeah.

That's a weird one. You kind of have to ease your way in. Yeah, exactly. Yeah, totally. It's like when I got to perform in the circus that one time. Oh, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I dressed like a merengue dancer. It was great. You just do not have the belly of a merengue dancer.

You don't have the belly button. Yeah, that's what they kept yelling at me. Yeah, there was like, what the fuck is this shit? You ain't got the belly for this shit. And I was like, I kill cop, allegedly, motherfucker. Keep adding the tag of allegedly. I think it really does help. It really helps.

Then I start throwing in my mixed CD and shit, dude. It's fucking killer as fuck, dude. Get on my album. Get on my level, listeners. Well, so this guy still hasn't been charged with murder yet, right? No, he's not charged with murder. I don't know that he set the fire. Resisting delay, obstructing a public officer, impersonating a firefighter. There was a dead woman in the house that was killed. So if anything, what if he, I mean, like, he's there trying to help.

Yeah, he might just be trying to help, but I would think that actually... But at the same time, maybe his obstruction is what got her killed because they couldn't... Oh, yeah, because they were like, get the fuck out of here. What are you doing? Cause of the fire remains under investigation. All right. There you go. That's what's going to happen. It's a cold case, or it's a hot case. Either way. Dude, this is a cold, hot case. Okay. There you go. I do have this story about a woman that...

I rushed what she thought was a sick baby hedgehog to the vet. Thank you, Rob. You sent me this. And then found out that she had been for several days caring for what was a hat pom-pom. Yes. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I saw that one, too. But that's just her being fucking stupid. Pretty bird. Pretty bird. Pretty bird. She seems like a very sweet woman who probably could save someone in a different situation. Or is it just she always looking for it? Because...

It's a pom-pom. Yeah. If you look at it, it's very much because she thought she found it cold. First of all, if it's that cold, it's not a hedgehog. Yeah. Or it's dead. It's not going to be revived by the vet unless you're taking it to the poor things guy or you're taking it over to what's his butts. There's been several Frankenstein themed films this year. Yeah, there has been. This has been a year for Frankenstein themed films. But I feel like, yeah, hedgehogs not coming back.

No, not at all. If it's stone cold. And the odd thing about it- And it doesn't move all night. You know, she didn't have it for several days. She had it for all day. She had it for all day. It's a pom-pom. Is that really it? That's so funny. It's a hat pom-pom. It does kind of look like a little hedgehog. But the thing is, it's so light. But the problem is, like, she did a good deed, and now the fucking world knows she's an idiot. Yeah. You know, like, I can see you, what the fuck? Like, she tried to help this hedgehog, and now everyone around Earth is like, what an idiot!

idiot. This is the problem. If you're an idiot, right? Like you can say you're a well-meaning, pure idiot that sees that I don't even because her name isn't even mentioned. It should not be mentioned. They mentioned her name.

Let's say you are a well-meaning idiot and you do do something like this. Unfortunately, like, yes, she sat and fretted over this pom-pom for probably about 36 hours. And then she tried to feed it and didn't feed, didn't do anything. Do you think she was hammered maybe? I don't know. Or maybe medication or edibles. Weird detail. She was dressed also like a fireman, but with the crotch cut out. Really weird. Weird.

Really weird. Hedgehog goes here. I actually don't really understand because then the flames can get to your pussy. Right. Yeah. This doesn't work. But, you know, if you're a well-meaning idiot and you spend a lot of hours trying to help and then you don't, you haven't helped anything. You know what I mean? You're actually taking away from what you could have been doing. You know what I mean? Yeah. So it's worse. It's definitely way worse than helping.

For sure. It's almost worse than herding. I mean, this woman tried. And like the woman who found... Oh my God. That's the woman who... That's the vet. That's the vet. That was the woman who looked at it. She's the one who told everybody. She's the one who's like, she's very sweet, but I can't believe she did this. This is a pom-pom. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She was very excited. Here's my stethoscope. That's so funny. I mean, one would say, at first glance, she doesn't look like the brightest...

Bean in the bunch. She looks like a vet, which is like, I've seen vets across the board. That's a woman that spends a lot of her time with hamsters and gerbils. That smile is just so like... Her best friend's a parakeet. Okay? And that's what that looks like. Her hat looks like it committed the crime. Yeah, I just can't wait to get home so I can read my stories to my birds. That sounds like a peaceful...

Existence. Existence. Right. I hope to have this. But yeah, that pom-pom is fucking not a hedgehog dog. Yeah, it's not a hedgehog. So, idiot of the week is what you get. Oh, ding-dong, ding-dong. Idiot of the week. Idiot of the week. Henry, he's so mean. You fucking, I got you, bitch. That's just a pom-pom. Yep.

No, honestly, you're very sweet. But I do think that you might need a refresher on animals. On what a living, breathing thing can be. What an animal. I mean, I've been there. I've wanted something, you know, to be real, like, so hard before. Yeah, of course. Man, I remember one time we brought a baby bird was kicked out of a nest, and then Julie found it in the street, and she's like, you got to come help me. Like, woke me up. I'm like, I'm drunk, you know.

And she's like, there's a baby bird that we went. And it was like, she like stashed this bird like that fell out of a nest. It's like, no, like days old. And it's just sitting there. And I'm like, baby, this thing's going to die. Don't worry about it. You know, she's like, then we brought it to.

We called the shelter. That's very sweet. And then we brought it to the shelter. See, that's a hedgehog right there. Yeah, there you go. A little hedgehog. Yeah. Well, I'm sure they brought it inside and killed it is what I'm trying to say. But I'm proud of Rambo for not eating it. That's great. He sniffed it a bunch and he didn't eat it. See, and he definitely would have. Oh, yeah, yeah. He was thinking about it. Yeah, one time I tried to date a dresser just because there was a wig sitting on it. Yeah.

Well, that's just simply because you need more help identifying what a woman is. Yes, and I think there is a gas leak. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I think there is a gas leak. I saw some black mold in the apartment the other day. Yeah. And especially because Winnie was walking on her hands. Yeah, on the ceiling. I was like, what's going on? How is this happening? This is why last time I was ever at Holden's house, he was looking at his dress. He was like, let me get in the drawers. Let me get in the drawers. Let me get in the drawers. Let me get in the drawers.

Right from your grave.

I want to just talk about this for two seconds because I want to see what comes back, if that's okay. So sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. Did I say it correctly? Wow, yeah, you nailed it. All right, so a trailer hauling Bibles was intentionally set on fire on Easter Sunday in Tennessee. Yay!

Seems like a cool Satanist thing. And that's what they're claiming. Outside this church, it's like a weird church. The pastor, Greg Locke, it's a non-denominational. Non-denominational. Which is, you know, non-denominational.

Denominational evangelical Protestant pastor. That is like three different denominations. It's also a non-Dommy Mommy church. It's a submissive. Submissive Mommy church. It's very into being whipped and chained. Yes. I'm the permissive father. So this guy who claims this was an act of attack against him and his church-

Seems like he's also a suspect as the person who burnt the Bibles. He absolutely burnt these Bibles. I'm just going to go ahead and just say, this guy doesn't need... I did a brief look on him, and he's a bad man. Yeah, Gredlock does not need us to defend him. He is such a fucking flaming piece of shit. He was president...

He was president January 6th. Yes. He told the people of his church if they showed up wearing masks during COVID that he would kick them out of the church. Oh, yeah, sure. He held a Harry Potter book burning party at the church. So he's burning...

Yeah, he knows how to do it. He knows that deal with it. You know, and so this guy, he's done a lot of weird shit. I haven't had time to really, because this just came to us as like, cool, Bible's burning outside of a church on Easter. But then it was all done in front of a quote unquote camera. So we had all of the footage. They watched it all happen. And according to Greg Locke,

who is, again, an evil person. This is his description of it. He was just like, he said the culprit would be getting in quite a deal of trouble soon. All right? Now, he says right here, he hadn't personally viewed the security footage yet, but he went on to describe it.

He's got his hazard light on at 5.58 in the morning. I'm like, wow, here's the most polite crook I've ever met in my whole life. I've never met, you know, polite Satanists. Two people laughing in the crowd. Well, some of us are very nice. Yeah, I feel like I've met a lot of polite Satanists in this community. And then he unhooks the trailer. He douses it with gasoline, with fuel, and then there were probably like 200 Bibles. I don't know where he got them. Maybe it's from you, you fucking moron. How do you know how many Bibles?

bibles are there it's ridiculous and also I went on reddit to learn more about this guy apparently someone claims that when the Barbie movie came out he took a baseball bat covered in bibles and wrapped it

plastic cling film and destroyed a Barbie dream house on stage. That's awesome. I'm into that. More Gallagher Christ. More Gallagher oriented Christ work. That's amazing. Is he a DoorDash driver?

So, yeah. So, I just want to know if you have any stories about this preacher. If you're from Mount Joliet, Tennessee, please write in and fucking I want to learn about this guy. He seems like a fucking nightmare. What subreddit are you on to? Like weird church guys? Yeah, who knows? Or atheism. Yeah, of course. Okay.

But the thing is, someone pointed out in here, which I totally agree with, atheists wouldn't burn the Bible. No, they don't give a shit. The Bible's just a book. It's just a bunch of poetry. Why would they care about burning the Bibles?

Nobody does this. No leftist does this. Yeah, no, they fucking do fun things. No, they harass us. Don't you understand? Leftists harass other people on the left side of the spectrum. They don't go to the other side. No, let's kind of cleanse the palate because we're hearing towards the end of the show. We're about to do another. We're going to go through some listener emails just real quick, and then we're going to wrap it up.

button this. I think it's time for you to give you a third shot at

Rapping. All right, now this is you. I want to say, like, it could be anything. Let's choose Angie Harmon. Angie Harmon, yeah. That's the topic. It's Angie Harmon is the topic. Yeah. You're going for it. Okay. You're Mr. Harmon. Someone shot your wife's dog. Or just about Angie Harmon, the woman, the actress. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Law and order. Look up her, you know, her credits are Rizzoli and Isles. Read me her Wikipedia a little bit. Oh!

I'm coming to my pit. Coming to my... Coming to my pets. Yeah. Drinking piss. Drinking, drinking, licking. Agent Cody Banks. Can't believe. Eh, eh, eh.

I am a big man, strong and mean. I really like it and I turn others green. Can't you come to the mystery show? I don't know. I don't know. Don't like my dick, so I slice it up. I cut it with the razor and I cut it up. Up.

He's out of words. Okay, yeah. I cut my penis. Yeah, I cut it. Yeah, there we go. Thank you. Honestly, that really takes us out. She played Commissioner Barbara Gordon. Oh, wow. Wait, wait. I got it. Hold on. Batman. It wasn't mentioned in the song, but I felt her. Nor dogs. Hold on. You did let me finish real quick. Chandelier lace.

Thank you. Oh, wow. That's very nice. We opened with Chantilly Lace the other day. Nice. Yeah. Wow. Thank you, Holden. Really good stuff. I'm really good and big. And I feel like y'all have been talking about kind of getting juiced. Well, I've been taking juice, but I haven't really been doing the workout stuff. But I still think I'm getting big. Yeah, that's what the body changes. That's what the body changes. My back is covered in juice.

In Bimble's, it's literally so... It oozes. It's like, it's so gross back there. If you take roids, you gotta work out. You have to work out. I don't have the time. I don't have the time a little bit. You really have to take a look at it, okay? And I...

I'm concerned for your health. My knees are shedding, too. It's been rough out there, but thanks to my juice man, Robert Akers. Really appreciate you, dude. It's all lies. Every single thing he says can be literally discounted. If your name is Robert Akers, we're not implicating you. And if you want to email him, it's robert.akers at gmail. I honestly email him and see what he does. Oh, there's Robert Akers. Oh, there he is. Is that him? That's him. That's him. Yeah, yeah. He's the juice man. Wow.

Wow, yeah, he's looking good. That's what he looks like. Yeah, he's the juice man. Of Loyola University. He used to go by OJ, but he had to change the name. Yeah. He doesn't look like an OJ. Yeah, yeah, and weirdly enough, before that, he was White Bronco. Whoa, that's a cool name. Yeah, yeah. That's a really cool name. But then again, he had to change it because of issues. Let me read this one little letter. Let me read the listener's letters.

It's been nice hanging with you. It really has been. Yeah, yeah. I'm a big fucker. Hell yeah. Oh, here we go.

A decade ago, I worked at a legion in Canada, specifically for members of the Royal Canadian Air Force. Most of the customers we had who came in were regular pilots who, you know, who had previously been members of some branch of the Canadian Air Force. We mostly, we most hadn't seen combat. I was a 19 year old girl surrounded by 50 year old men. So somebody says that. So if someone says I'm full of shit, sure. Anyways, one of the retired guys was a pilot who flew scientists to Antarctica.

He said it was his favorite job, and then he loved it because the penguins were so friendly. Since they have no known land predators, the penguins in Antarctica, they run up to the planes, and they run up to people, and they say hello. Yeah, I know how fucking penguins work. Jesus Christ. I just don't know if you do. Trying to explain using hand signals at me and shit. Don't think that you do. All right? When I'm told, there's a few other pilots, and they were drinking because there's nothing else to do in Antarctica.

So he went out and one penguin was following him everywhere. They thought this was hilarious and took the penguin to the plane. And then he followed in after them. Well, they thought they had a penguin. He didn't want to be a flightless bird anymore. So one of the pilots gets the penguin and puts it in a seat and they take off. And they told me at the start, he was fine. But as the altitude increased, he started season probably because he's a flightless bird. He's not meant to be that high. Along with the fact that I believe, uh,

where it was, it wasn't pressurized the same. So they started going down to land, but the penguin, it just dies on the plane. Now the pilot is so scared that he's going to get in shit for just killing a penguin and for flying the plane drunk. So he makes the decision to push the penguin out. Someone will come and find it later. And he pushed it out. And when they returned, they said they were all sad, but they figured, hey, no one will find the penguins out there. It's on the ice.

They left not long after, and I didn't think about it ever. So a while later, the pilot goes back, and the scientists are freaking out. Why? Because they found a single penguin that looked like it had just been massacred out in a place where there was no known ground life. This was amazing. And they were wondering why the hell the penguin and how and what brought the penguin out so far. So the scientists are out there researching. Who wrote this email? Tolstoy? What is happening right now? They're out there researching all this stuff. I love this thing.

It is interesting. I like the fucking penguin getting splattered. Yeah, yeah. It's interesting. Oh, my God. Oh, that poor penguin. So what happened? That's it. That's the whole thing? Not punished. Did they talk to the scientists? Nope. Well, I think that we just found out them. Yep. Yep. Whoever this person is just did this. No. I don't even know how you fly a plane drunk.

I mean, you got to be good at it. You ever see Flight with Denzel Washington? No, I remember. He fucking flew it upside down, bro. Saved everyone's life. I know, but he was drunk. All I can think about now, and it's got to be so true, all I can think about now is who working on this plane right now is brutally hungover. I mean, all the time. All the time. No, it's great. It's not frightening at all. Especially with doors just falling off of shit.

Yeah. Not frightening at all. They don't get paid enough. They deserve a better wage before we need to fucking put more constrictions on them. I agree. I agree, Eddie. But I feel like they should dress like future people, too. That is the negotiation. Space helmets and more money. If we can dress them like either space people or Oompa Loompas. And I want a show halfway through the flight. Yes. Three songs. We'll pay them more. We'll pay them more. Yeah. Yeah. Just fucking give us more. Just lollipop, lollipop.

Oh, la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-la-

Yeah, dude. So hard. We all had to hug you and stuff. Yeah, man. Well, now she's fucking died. She died. No way. Did she? No, she's alive. I wouldn't believe this. Allegedly. Not by XX. Yeah, yeah. But in college. No, the college. She's alive. The bad, yeah. Well, I won't say her name, but we called her bad her name. They're all, yeah. They're all still alive.

I see them all. Good for you, man. Yeah. And laugh knowing that you can't catch me, dog. Okay. Can we shout out real quick before we go? Joe Flaherty, man. One of the funniest dudes in the world passed away. Jackass. Yeah. Jackass. One of my favorite scenes of any movie. He's great in Billy Madison. Joe Flaherty. Yeah, man. He was the best. I loved him so much. Can't believe we lost him so young. Yeah.

82. 82. He's out there. He's got those wild eyes, man. He's so funny. He's up in heaven making God ask him what he's up to next. And it's going to be great. So we got a couple of plugs here. Go to patreon.com slash podcast and left to watch us do the show visibly. Then you could go to TikTok at LP on the left. Maybe not for much longer.

Yeah, because they might get rid of TikTok. Yeah, they're going to buy it. I'm hopeful. Would you keep it going for China? What? Would we keep it going for China? I've been asking China to buy us for years, but they won't have us. And I was just like, because that's the thing. I don't want to help China. I want to directly benefit from China. Do you know that the relationship with China is getting better because they sent us a couple pandas back? Oh.

Oh, whoa. Like an enveloper. They sent a couple... They took our pandas away in the middle of the pandemic. Oh, I remember when they took our pandas. The pandemic, by the way. The pandemic. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Exactly. They took our pandas away, but they sent us two back. And so now we got pandas again. So things are good with China. Yeah. I just get it. I want to be paid. I'm worried if we get rid of TikTok, they're going to come for the pandas. No, they're not. No, no, no, no, no. We already got the pandas. I don't know why we're giving the pandas back, by the way. I honestly swear...

Those aren't pandas. If we're going to be giving them back to China, we might as well just shoot them in the back of the head. There you go. DoorDash. Instacart. Why are we giving them back? No. We're keeping these fucking panda bears. We're keeping these fucking dead or alive. I'm having this panda. I'm either having its guts and its cum voluntarily or I'm having it by hand. I'm sick of being

bamboozled because they eat bamboo. All right. I couldn't even. I don't know. I didn't even. I have to do this every day. Have my information. I don't care. Oh, he's sad all the time. I'm glad you know that now. Yeah, it doesn't help. That doesn't help China. But again, pay us. We will come do podcasting there. We will start a podcasting network for you, China. Just send an email. Sidestories.lpotl at gmail.com. Are you China? Are you looking to buy a true crime podcast? We're ready to go.

And then we have to go to LastPodcastOnTheLift.com and we're live. Last Podcast On The Lift is going to be live. Yes. Yeah, yeah. We got some shows coming up. Come see us live. Oh, and we can't announce because this is the day. Yeah, we can't announce. Netflix is a joke. Eddie and I are going to be doing Side Stories Live at the Masonic Lodge in Los Angeles on May 9th at 930. It is going to be our first time ever doing it. Just you and me up there. I'm very excited. I'll be on it too. Yeah.

Just give me longer conversations. I'll be on it and get the cut of whatever that payout is. Jackie is booked. Contact in the desert is also I want to tell you. So guys, I am. Before we go on, if you're on the Patreon, you can get access to tickets early on Wednesday, which is today. And then the actual tickets are on sale on Friday. Yes.

So please come out. Please come see Eddie and I do Side Story's live. But this is actually really important, and I do want to ask my audience to support us doing this. So we are going to be doing, for the first time ever, they're allowing a comedy act at Contact in the Desert.

So Contact in the Desert. Tell people what Contact in the Desert is. It is the number one in the world UFO UAP conference. And last podcast on the left has been booked to do, not just we're doing a live podcast, we're doing a live panel. But this thing's going to be apeshit. I mean it. If you like...

What we talk about with aliens, every single alien celebrity in the world is going to be there. George Norrie, George Knapp. Thomas Jane. Thomas Jane. Dr. Avi Loeb is going to be there. People have problems with him. Whitley Strieber is apparently not super friendly, but we'll find out. There's Travis Walton. We're going to talk to you from Fire in the Sky. Dave Foley. Dave Foley is going to be there. Richard Dolan. Nick Pope. So what I'd love is for you guys to come show these people.

what we're all fucking about because we're going to be doing a very serious look at UFOs. Yes. And I have it. It's in our contract. We're not supposed to ridicule anyone.

Even though that's our job. But we'll find out what that means. But we're going to be talking to vendors. We're going to be out talking to people. So it's like comes to the, it's not only a beautiful resort, but this shit's going to be fucking wild. There's late night parties. Apparently people get fucked up.

Yeah. That contact in the desert. And it's not like, it's different than a Comic-Con because it's not, Comic-Con's just fans of this stuff. These are people that have met aliens and they are hanging out with you. They're going to be real weird. Don't ask them necessarily every one of their political thoughts, but you're just going to want to stick to the aliens. Stick to the aliens. Talk about aliens. Talk about aliens. Yeah. We're going to have a good time. We're doing two shows. Two shows. Yeah. No, I can't wait for that. Marcus was thrilled to find out. Yeah.

We're going to be doing two shows. It's going to be awesome. Yeah, also, good plug, page seven, Wizard and the Bruiser. Thank you. Yes. Twitch.tv slash Holdenators Home. The first time I did this show, I tried to plug it, and they looked at me weird. For doing it over and over again.

No, no, no. I'm glad you did it. Page 7, Wizard of the Bruiser. Check us out. Tears of a Clown every other Wednesday on LPN TV. And Brighter Side Live whenever Tears of a Clown is on. It's 6.30 every Wednesday. Yeah, and Spun is now on there every Wednesday, too. So we're having a lot of fun at twitch.tv slash LPN TV. Go, fuckers! Watch that fucking shit! Fuck you! Yeah! Yes, yes, yes, yes. Hail Satan.

I don't have anyone to hail this week. Hail Howard. Hail that dog who got shot. Yeah, I feel bad for Oliver. Take it from me, British Brian. Yeah, take it from me. Hail British Brian. You gotta go to Oxford. I want to hear what was more annoying, his British herpy guy or the hip hop? I want to know. Yeah, sidestories, LPOTL and gmail.com. I look forward to the Instagram comments, you piece of shit. Don't read the comments.

Just come in here and have fun and don't listen to these people. They love you no matter what they say. They just don't know that they like you. I don't like the man's voice and he's mean. They just don't know that you're funny. But they sort of understand. We think that you're funny.

Oh, also, I launched my website, eddytoons.com. Very nice. Go check that out. Go listen to it. All my shit is in there. It's in that one spot. So now I don't have to plug anything. I just say go to the website. Yeah, it's great. It's perfect. That's really easy. eddytoons.com. Hell yeah. T-U-N-E-S. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I-E also. E-D-D-I-E-T-U-N-E-S. It's actually kind of more complicated than you want it to be, though. What are you going to do? What are you going to do? All right, goodbye.

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