Episode 567: David Icke and the Reptilians Part II - A Life of Illusion
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Hold, primates listening! It is I, Numator 479. According to our studies of your puny mammalian race, we discovered you like very good coffee. And while it is our evolutionary purpose to cause you psychic torment, we want you awake and vivacious to give it. So try our new blend from Spring Hill Jack Coffee. Reptilian in the morning...

Our proprietary blend of lightly roasted cocao husks will have you immediately energized upon emerging from the pain cloaca with all your slippery new eggs. Thanks, honey. Hot, hot, I'm cold-blooded. Mmm. Eggs to Spring Hill Jack and last podcast on the left. I'm ready to get out there and eat some babies. Get out of the way, Hillary Clinton.

There's no place to escape to. This is the last. On the left. That's when the cannibalism started. What was that? All right, I'm ready to go. Got my shit. Oh, so many books. So many books. You know what's really awesome about these books is that I killed a fly with one yesterday. Yeah, and they're full of words. Oh, yeah. Oh, don't you worry about that, friend.

There's a lot of words in these books. So many words, it's almost like I'm losing my fucking mind. But you know what? Did you kill the fly with them? I did. You didn't use your lizard tongue? They won't let me in. They won't let me in because I got too big of a mouth. And you know what it is? Honestly, one of my biggest bones to pick I have is, first of all, you two psychological fascists.

Okay, psychological fascist. Psychological fascist with your little five cents world. Five cents world? I don't... Give me a little five cents world you're trapped in there. Five cents world. How many senses should I be living with? Nine. You don't know. You're just sitting there typing away, typing away. Nine as in the number or no?

No, no, it's a 1, 2, 3, 4, 5, 6, 7, 8, 9, friend. You got to count it. You got to count it out. What do you think about that? Because you're sitting here with a little bit of your myopic self-identities telling me I'm wrong with my thoughts and my actions and the things I think and my opinions. If we're myopic, then what are you?

Oh, I'm so open that I know that there's only one way to think. Now, can you become reptilian? Because this morning when I went to the bathroom, my toilet was just full of eggs. Oh, sorry, friend. That is a bit of a white poop. It's called colon cancer.

You're going to get it, but it's illusion. Don't worry. Nothing is solid. Welcome to the last podcast on the left, ladies and gentlemen. My name is Marcus Parks. I'm here with Henry Zebrowski, the well-read Henry Zebrowski. Oh, yeah. There's a whole chapter called The AIDS Scam. Cool. Yeah, I think. Yeah, yeah. You were pointing that out right before. Yeah. And then they have a chapter on the Garden of Eden, but it's not until page 132. Hey, you know, there's a lot of preamble. And of course, that is literary critic Ed Larson. I hate him.

Books, that is. He does hate a book. There was a lot of information conveyed in last week's episode concerning David Icke's reptilian agenda and how it has, according to him, shaped humanity over the millennia. Some might say it was an overwhelming amount of information and we didn't even get to the half of it. I would even say we got to the eighth of it. What?

information. If that is information, then what is information? I have been sick all week from what I've learned. Mentally or physically? Both, actually. I literally, my neck, the moment the show was over, I pinched a nerve in my neck. I was so tense and mad the entire time. Do you know why that is? Why? Because there's a suction

Obstructions in your soul. You know what it is? There's a bit of an obstruction there. Because as you can see, this ain't physical. Your neck ain't physical. All right? It's a hologram. You got a hologram neck holding up your big floppy big old pig head.

or your head's too real for its own good. You need a fake head, friend. At least I'm a pig and not a reptile. That is true. If you were a reptile, I'd say you would be a gila monster. Oh, sure. Yeah, man. You know if one of those bites you, you have to, like, drown them in order to get them to fucking release their grasp on you. Wow. Yeah, just like Whitney Houston. Ha ha! Got her! Got her! Finally! Put her in her place! Ha ha ha!

Well, while we will get to more of David Icke's reptilian agenda in this episode, it might be a good time to talk about what David Icke is actually doing with the reptilian agenda and why he's doing it. Selling up to 150 tickets per day. Yeah, man. He's selling a lot of tickets. I can't believe this shit. He's doing good. And answering that question, we might answer some of the biggest questions and identify some of the motivations behind modern conspiracy thought.

Now, the thing about David Icke is that while his jumble of confusing theories and beliefs mirror those that you might see in a cult, Icke himself seems to have no interest in being a cult leader. Really, if you boil David Icke down to his essence, he's an entertainer with both a messiah and persecution complex who truly believes his own bullshit. You know what made me start to truly believe that he believes was that I was watching some talk

Get Gaia, guys. If you want to understand your boomer. The streaming network Gaia. Yeah, yeah. If you want to look inside of the gem-wearing woman with no bra, that's

that works at the Hallmark store. Yeah. The Sonoma network. Yeah. If you want to meet, if you want to know what she's like, just, just watch Gaia. Let it just kind of wash over you to, you don't feel anything anymore. David Ike at the end of this interview, he's talking about all this, that this woman's trying to ask him, but there's this interview, the psychic woman who says that don't worry, David Ike's all of this stuff talking about reptilians and our contact forces. They're completely, totally verified by her 12 spiritual guides. It,

each one has said, like, you know, one is the Cobra Commander, and another one is Tony the Tiger, and then Marie Antoinette is there. And personally, I've been talking with Mary Todd Lincoln, and she told me I'm God's cousin, which is honestly, what a relief, because I got a lot of shit coming down the pipe. I'm going to need to be that to fix up. But at the very end, she just goes, so, but David, we hear so much about truth, and we hear so much about your renegade lifestyle, but

David, what do you like? What do you like to do? And he's like, oh me? Oh, you know, I like to work. I like to spread truth. You know, it's what I do. I'm mostly outright, I think. I challenge myself. She's like, but no, David, that's all work. What do you do for yourself? And he's like, I like landscapes.

That's it? He just likes lawns. Does he like landscaping? No. Is he talking about landscape paintings? No. Photography? No. Looking at the horizon? No. Bushes? He likes hills. He just likes to go look at bushes and hills. Yeah, I love bushes and hills. But is that your hobby? No.

I mean, landscaping is my hobby. He just looks at grass. The fact that that is his. He's just like, oh, could you sit there and look at a blade of grass for an hour and a half? I was like, oh, you are real. Yeah. This is really how you think. Yeah. So you think that he believes it? Yes. Because I don't think there's any way that he possibly believes it because he creates the nonsense. We'll get there. The reason why I think he believes it is because it gets vaguer.

and fake. Well, and also remember the psychic told him way back in the day that sometimes you will find this information and sometimes this information will appear to you. So to him, his imagination is the higher power telling him all of the information that he needs to impart to humanity. So anything that pops into his head, he can say that it comes from somewhere else. It can and will be real. He is saying imagination is as important as facts. Now, the other thing that bothered me about it all week was

If he is right, wouldn't he have been killed by now? Eddie, you are a joke. Far too ahead. I mean, what is he? I mean, why don't Marcus sidebar? Yeah, we're going to need to get Eddie off the show. Yeah, I think it's going to be. You mean?

He's questioning too much. It's in the headphones. He doesn't know. He won't allow it in. Yeah, I don't think so. I don't know. Who do you want to try?

anybody. I was going to call David Icke. Well, as we said last episode, David Icke almost attacks his reader with a mountain of increasingly incredulous information, then tells the reader that they're either an idiot if they don't believe what he's saying or that everyone else is an idiot if they don't join what both you and Ike are

are buying into. Here we go. Here's just an example of what you have to withstand from him. The ignorant arrogance of cult puppet Greta Thunberg is a most blatant public example. It is the mushroom technique. Keep them in the dark.

and feed them bullshit. All right? We are on a train fueled by bullshit hurtling towards oblivion, pulling behind an endless line of wagons full to overflowing with bullshit. We have bullshit opposed by more bullshit. Ignorance imposed by more ignorance.

I can't believe it came for Greta. I actually believe she might be a reptile. Oh, come on. Look at her little head. She's a child. Children of tiny heads. Sounds like it's her fault. By now, she's got to be like 21, right? Yeah, she's like 35. This all happened like two years ago. They don't... I think it was like six. Was it really? Yeah, buddy. Man, time flies when you're having a great time. It really does. She's 21.

She's 21? She's 21. Hell yeah, let's get hammered. Yeah, fuck that, dude. Guess what, gentlemen? We're talking about the fucking end of the world, man. We're doing fucking Jager bombs, man. We're not going to fucking give a shit about the trash island. Well, this tactic of saying you're an idiot if you don't believe or everyone else is an idiot if they don't believe us, this is actually more successful than...

than we might hope. The wake-up sheeple strategy, if you will. And from what it seems, David Icke is one of the originators of this manically aggressive style of theorizing. Well, Bill Cooper before him. Well, yeah, Bill Cooper. Bill Cooper is one of the originators. Yes.

And I also don't know how much David Icke and Bill Cooper touch. Like, I don't know if David Icke... Protocols of Zion. The Elder Policon. Well, I know they touch tips in that way. They both use the same shit. They say the same thing. They're all saying the same thing. What I mean is I don't know if David Icke was aware of Bill Cooper. Oh, yeah, he definitely was. You think so? Yes. God, I'd love to see him in a urinal trough together. Oh, yeah, buddy. That is a loud...

Loud bathroom. And there is a couple of thick streams. I don't think that if you have Alex Jones, David Icke, and Bill Cooper all pissing into that ice trough, that ice is gone, dude.

Now, like most conspiracy theory personalities, David Icke speaks to people whose lives are usually cold, hard, cruel, or at best, just plain boring. Whatever the reason, these are people who want their lives shaken up. Moreover, Icke's target demographic wants answers as to why the world is the way it is. And conspiracy theorists of Icke's stripe are able to give those people a very specific answer to that question. It is interesting because if you look at

neo-Nazi ideology in its most aggressive forms as we just covered. Like, it's kind of interesting because we covered a super serious version of this with Anders Breivik. Yeah.

And this is now becoming even more serious. This is becoming just as serious. But the demo... This is a slow burn. It's a slow burn. But the demo has changed, where Anders Breivik was radicalized by material that specifically looked for young, disenfranchised men. That is kind of... That's across the board what neo-Nazi groups are trying to... Guys with nothing to lose that are fucking... Basically bullet shields for a bunch of people that are hiding behind in various organizations.

But but David Icke pulled from the QAnon playbook, which or maybe vice versa, vice versa, vice versa, where QAnon, what they understood implicitly, it was like, oh, we got to go for the boomers. We got to go. They knew when when Paul Ferber, who basically was Q, went to Infowars, he went specifically looking to attract people.

People with disposable income and nothing to do with this ever pervasive feeling that society is pulling away from them and no one understands them anymore. No one wants to understand them anymore, which is beginning to feel in some way in their own mind. It's this grand conspiracy of why my son doesn't want to have Christmas in Sheboygan anymore.

I heard that QAnon actually came from some guy losing at Scrabble and just looking down at his words and trying to pull one off. Your little jokes and jives are why we're here today. Well, in short...

There are shadowy cabals, secret societies, and men behind the curtain galore who are deliberately keeping people just like you from being successful or finding any sense of meaning in your existence. And none of it is your fault because the people in charge are so powerful, intelligent, evil, and sneaky.

But you can use crystals and vibes and beat all of them. Kind of. I mean, this is basically how the Holocaust happened. This is the stab in the back conspiracy theory. Even before the Nazis came to power or even existed, Germans were saying that a cabal of communist Jews forced Germany surrender in World War One, even though they were winning the war, which they weren't.

This conspiracy theory was spread by German military leaders who were trying to cover up the mistakes that had led to Germany's surrender. What it led to instead, after it was picked up by the Nazis, was the Holocaust. David Icke, however, was able to put a new spin on conspiracy tactics in two ways.

One, he made his conspiracy a sci-fi adventure where aliens are real. The villains are literal monsters. Humanity is the underdog who will one day overthrow their cruel masters. And life really is just as exciting and interesting as you always wanted it to be. That's the kind of line that we've seen with aliens.

LRH. Understood implicitly. Like you got to make it a sci-fi adventure to get guys to jump along. You're because you are specifically looking for people that are bored and frustrated with their very mundane day to day life. So now it's why some people we've talked about this in the show many times. Why do moms just start doing meth? Yeah.

Just add a spike to drama. You're just trying to add something new. You're meeting new people. You're getting railed in a Motel 6. This hasn't happened to me before. I'm seeing shapeshifting lizards everywhere. And guess what? It's all about the friends you made along the way. How's

Isn't this like a form of this always kind of happened, like starting with the Bible and going with like dragons and medieval time and shit like that? Well, it depends. I actually wonder because sometimes he's basing a lot of his. It's all about the Dead Sea Scrolls, the Nag Hammadi, the Gnostics. So he went and found old imagery of lizards and serpent people that has been around everywhere. Like the Hopi have the ant people like the Chitauri and they have all these. There's different like depictions.

I sometimes wonder if it was just Sumerian Marvel movies. And they were just drawing shit on a wall. And they're like, that's fucking cool, right? And they're like, I mean, I know they tell stories. There's no way that they're possibly allegorical. Well, I mean, it is. I mean, in a way, like, I see what you're saying. I mean, it's a lot of those old myths are like people trying, like human beings with these newfangled brains trying to make sense of the world.

Not being able to understand it, but knowing that there's something going on here and trying to make sense of it. So in a way, yeah, but

There also weren't people that were pointing towards the Dragon King as the reason why you can't get a job. Yeah, not yet. I mean, who knows what they did with ancient Sumer? Yeah. But Ike's most dangerous spin, the one that really took off and helped create the QAnon movement, is that he made conspiracy theory a game. With Ike's worldview, you could play Spot the Reptilian with literally anything.

anyone in the world by guessing who was a part of the reptilian agenda and who wasn't. Oprah. Yes. Rachel Ray. Shockingly, no. Really? Oh, yeah. All too human. Mike Tyson. Mike Tyson. No. Really? Full human. Yeah, give me more. Don King. Yes. Definitely. Yeah, you think Mike Tyson could take care of all those pigeons if he was a reptilian? Fuck no, man. No, he ate them. He ate them. He was sucking all the blood out of them. Thank God he's there. Yeah.

It's true, though. This thing, it's fun. It's all fun and games. But it's real. It gives you the... It's why video games are so fun. You get to direct the action. Yeah. And while this gamifying of conspiracy theory may sound harmless, it is ended in murder and even terrorism multiple times. And it often touches tips with QAnon.

In 2019, a QAnon believer and Proud Boys member named Bucky Wolf stabbed his brother in the head with a four-foot-long sword because Bucky believed that his brother was a reptilian. He could have just been looking for an excuse, but...

At the same time, it's not good. He got put away. Yeah, of course. In another case, three years ago, a 40-year-old surf instructor and QAnon believer from Santa Barbara drove his 10-month-old daughter and two-year-old son to Mexico. There, he killed both kids with a spear gun because he was convinced that they had reptilian DNA passed on by their mother. By murdering them, he truly believed that he was helping to save the world from monsters.

Lastly, on Christmas Day 2020, a man named Anthony Warner, who believed in the reptilian conspiracy, became a suicide bomber when he parked his RV in downtown Nashville in front of an AT&T building. He then broadcast a warning from inside the RV telling everyone this fucker's about to explode. Then he triggered the bomb that he presumably thought would be a strike against the reptilian brotherhood, or at the very least,

Their 5G network. Their 5G network. Because if it wasn't for them finally developing 5G from inside of their cages, the reptilians were then able to activate the dormant cells in our bloods that would then become, guess what? What?

Just say a thing for the last couple of years. Mayonnaise. No. Couple of years. Couple of years. Climate change. No. No, climate change was created and that was created by a group inside of Rome. Human created climate change is an absolute total fallacy. We're just fucking in a microwave period. COVID. Yes. Ah.

Circle gets the square. Well, three people were injured when this dude blew up the RV and he, of course, himself also died. But he wouldn't have been able to call anyone without the 5G. I don't think you know. I think he was on LTE. Yeah, he refused. But this could have been far worse. I mean, he did this at 630 a.m. on Christmas Day, but he did it in downtown Nashville. Imagine if he would have done this, I don't know, on a Saturday night.

in downtown Nashville imagine how fucking horrible that would be it'll kind of adds to the dreamlike aspect of I know January 6th keeps coming up we don't

I think some people think that we're obsessed with it. It's not that. I mean, it's one of the most pivotal events in modern American history. It's a huge deal. It's just that 400 fat dudes take over the Capitol. But it's a great example of this new world we're sort of headed into, which is a... There's a dreamlike nature to it. Like, this guy...

If he did want to do maximum effect to kill enough people, there's enough examples of showing how to do that. He probably, weirdly, because he warned people that it was coming, that he probably didn't want to do a mass event. He was so just driven by this missionary, this idea, that it seemed...

probably not real up until the moments it was happening almost. And if you look at the January 6th, what happened that day was the same thing, was a bunch of people showed up from the internet who almost kind of seemed almost confused that it was

happening in many ways except for the architects of it. Some of them probably from within the White House, some of them from the outside of the White House that were kind of orchestrating this weird kind of, it's a semi, it's a hallucinatory thing. I mean, the dudes who showed up with like zip ties and ropes, like they were there. They made t-shirts! Yes!

But I do get what you're saying. There were plenty of people that were just there and they're wandering around. Like you'd see that. I would have. If I saw a big crowd like that and I'm just walking around, I get interested when I see that kind of madness. I'd show up and look around. Yeah. And then I would have been fucking labeled one of those people. Yeah, look at you. I know. People already tell me all the time that I did it. I'm like, I wasn't there. Life from your grave.

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Now, over the years, Ike's theories can essentially be summed up by the claim that nothing is real and everything you've ever been told is a lie. Case in point is Ike's view of American history. In his world, Christopher Columbus was on the payroll of the Reptilian Brotherhood, funded through the Medici banking family and Leonardo da Vinci, all reptilians, and Columbus was sent west to establish a new reptilian foothold on the way to total world domination. Hey, you tell me. I have got to go to America and make America.

Why you got a gills? You talking to me, I got a big floppy hat, all right? I'm a funny guy, Mr. Columbus. I go there, I spank all the people that live there already. I do the bad. Why you tell me what to do, Mr. Lizard? I get the gold from the teeth. My question is, why didn't they just go themselves? The reptilians?

Because they wanted Christopher Columbus to go. This is one of the, this is my big thing of like, why? Why do we need? There's always a why. Why do we need to, like, why does it need to be done this way? That's always the question with the reptilian conspiracy. Why is it, why does it have to be like this? Because the big thing that David Icke also brings to the conspiracy theory world is this concept of pyramids on pyramids. I put this on my, my stupid Instagram, but it's like this idea that there's like the

the permanent government, which is the reptilians. They talk to the secret societies that we don't even know about, which I don't even know how they know they're in it. If they don't have names and they don't have emails, they are a bunch of other secret societies. Then talk to the secret societies that we know. The Freemasons. The Freemasons, the Skull and Bones. That's level three. Okay. And then they talk to the, then Big Pharma.

That's the next layer. Then the next layer is show business. Okay. And then the next layer is the president of the United States of America. So technically we're above the president? No, we're at the very bottom. Yeah, we're not. But we're in show business. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're not. Yeah, yeah, yeah. We don't have it. Yeah, we're podcasters. We're still in the bridge. No, no, no. I agree. I agree completely. And honestly, I'm just here as a CIA op just trying to get my benefits. I got to try to get to my pension. Yeah. Yeah, you really do.

Now, as far as I can tell, the reptilians had left the Americans alone up till this point. But after their arrival and hundreds of years of meddling and placing people like Satanist reptilian Benjamin Franklin in all the right places, reptilian George Washington was inaugurated and became America's first figurehead. Didn't seem like he needed to be elected. He's a fucking reptilian shapeshifter. Why would he have to be elected? He couldn't sit down on the boat because of his big ass fucking tail.

The illusion, my friend, isn't just as important as the reality, which is also an illusion. I'm caught in a trap. When Ike's world, America has never been ruled by Americans. It has never been the land of the free because the Reptilian Brotherhood has been pulling the strings from their base in London this entire time. Don't forget the British royal family, all lizards.

And they're the number one. They're the number ones. Yeah. In all of David Icke's world, the royal family are the very peak of the pyramid. It's incredible things. Like, even when he's coming up with this conspiracy, he still can't shake like that fucking thing that some British boomers have of like the monarchy is the most important, powerful thing in the world, even though they haven't had power in hundreds of years. Hey, they had corgis. That's it.

We kicked the shit out of them twice. You know, we learned it from them. Yeah, we did. Now, by establishing this idea with his audience, specifically his American audience, David Icke introduces not just mistrust in the literal government, but the entire idea of America itself from the very beginning. The dream never existed. And anyone who has realized the American dream to its full extent is probably in league with him.

I have now read almost to completion four books by David Icke, and each one has hundreds of pages explaining why essentially your kids don't like you anymore.

Why no one believes you. Why they think you're a fucking idiot. Why everything, basically just preparing you for the fact that the second you flash one of these at the book club, which either Children of the Matrix or The Trap, his most recent book, which is bad. Yeah.

it's bad I've given him so much money I've given him so much money this week but it's like you are it's always preparing you for this idea H1 about the whole world is nothing but ridicule and the only way like to get to the baseline with him is to eradicate the very essence of reality which is the

problem. That is the problem of what he's talking about. In order for you to believe even one iota of what he's talking about, you have to destruct your entire concept of what is real. And then that leads you open to anything. Yeah.

Well, this idea that the dream never existed, the idea that America isn't real, never was real. This is one of the great ironies of conspiracy theory and looking for a remedy to their despair. Believers and conspiracy theories only find more sorrow. They replace one terrible thing with another. What they gain, however, is a sense of superiority over the people who don't subscribe to their worldview and more importantly, copious amounts of seething anger.

Now, one of David Icke's other weapons besides aggression is condescension, and that's nowhere on display more than in his chapter about America. Throughout, Icke suggests that American readers, quote, sit down quietly and have a cup of sweet tea so as to calm ourselves down as our entire history is ripped apart before our very eyes. Drink coffee, you fuck.

For example, after telling us that the federal income tax is not actually a law and that we've all been mind controlled into only believing that we have to pay taxes because the IRS is a terrorist organization controlled by reptilians. Ike writes, quote, Have a sip of that sweet tea.

And take a deep breath. All right? Because I'm about to blow your tiny little mind in your post-stamp consensus. I'm about to blow it up. It's going to shoot all over your face in big juicy ropes. All right? You're not going to know what it's like. All right? Because the thing is, you've got to believe. Your head chakra needs to be explained to by the heart chakra. Right? The heart chakra. The heart chakra.

The heart chakra. Heart. Heart. It's pronounced heart. It's a heart chakra. What it does is that it don't need...

explanations. You don't need your five cents little rationalizations for how things work, right? Because the art just knows what's going on. What are senses six through nine? Oh, you've got to have jurisprudence. You've got to have jurisprudence. My main thing is, truly, this is a thing, I bet David Icaz said,

we're cutting down on our usage of peripheral vision, which is starting to start a limit of you because we're sitting here watching football games, playing little bippity boos, playing little games with the furious birds. It's making the birds angry, I'll tell you what.

I'll tell you what, it's the electronic messages in the sky. But that's sight. And that's one of the five senses. I asked about senses six through nine. That's not sight. It's peripheral vision. It's different. Sight to the side. As you see things sneaking up on you like a squirrel trying to take your sandwich. And my mate also...

squirrel stick in your sandwich. Do you know that placebo is Japanese for bullshit? Yeah. All right. Because, and also we have to be immune to the crime being different. Uh-huh. And that's a sense. Yeah. Right. What then? Now, after showing readers...

why Americans, the supposed good guys of the 20th century, are actually founded and run by reptilians, Ike further muddies reality by telling us that the bad guys are reptilians as well. Now, Ike does mix some truth with his lies. For example, his claim that the Nazis were an offshoot of the occult tool society is somewhat true, although I think it would be more accurate to say that the Nazis were not.

were influenced by the beliefs of the tool society. Well, they liked the beliefs of the tool society. Some of them were in there, but it was mostly just like a

a dick-sucking group for a bunch of hateful nerds. Could be, yeah. Well, the Tool Society, if you'll remember from our Nazis in the Occult series, believed that Atlantis was real and that the Aryan race were descended from said Atlanteans, making the Germanic people the descendants of the superior Atlantean race. But that can't possibly be true because white people came from Mars in a giant 12-foot-tall...

Deco Dehedron called the Merkaba that they slid through to come here in order to defeat the ancient black people that used to live here. Is that what he said? That's what everybody says. But he's white!

Well, that's part of his thing is that we all have like, he's like, we all have reptilian, we have lizard brains. We have our brains are literally built upon actual lizard brains that all humans, including him, all white people have lizard brains inside their head.

Yes, even though that is just kind of like a common nomenclature for a piece of the brain. It's not ever actually called the lizard brain. It never belonged to a lizard. It's a thing about instincts in the back of your head. But he takes it as literal, much like he takes the movie The Matrix. But he still acts as if it's a documentary. He takes a lot of movies. He believes that a lot of movies are real. Now, is it neo because of neo-Nazi?

No, it spells out the one. Oh, okay. But all David Icke has to do is add, and they were also reptilians, to any group, society, or government in human history to seduce his reader into believing that the only world that truly exists is the one that David Icke has created in the pages of The Biggest Secret.

To make matters more confusing, Ike casually drops that the reptilian in charge of the Nazis was not Hitler, but Joseph Mengele. Then further confuses the point by claiming that the Nazis were founded by their worst enemies, the communists. So they think Mengele was the guy? Yeah, he thinks that Mengele was the guy. The twin guy. Yeah. He was the secret leader. The guy to Birkenau, yeah. Yeah, yeah, yeah. I mean, that would be great.

If they fan fiction twins, are you ready for this? The movie Danny DeVito and Arnold Schwarzenegger go to South America to kill Joseph Mengele together to find out what he did.

To make Danny DeVito look like that. That's actually very... That's actually... I feel there's important themes. I think we can learn a lot about forgiving. Because they get down to Mengele and they go and they're like, they're with the 95-year-old Mengele and then they said, they were like, you know, and they get to know him. You know, eventually they're like, maybe he's not that bad. Yeah, and they all go on vacation together. Yeah.

It explains why Schwarzenegger was on the island in the first one. Exactly. And it turns out he was there all day and he is his own father. Yeah. We need to get you into a pet room. I just want you, I want to hear you say the words twins meets boys from Brazil. Yeah. And they'll be like, holy shit. But this is a right wing dog whistle. Yeah.

This is another one of those because it's the concept of the National Socialists saying that the Nazis were an extreme left is another example of right wing talk. Now, the point of throwing out all this wacky shit is twofold. For those who know nothing about any of this, creating a confusing reality by throwing out a lot of concepts and ideas most people aren't familiar with helps to reinforce the idea that nothing they've been told their entire life is real. Therefore, anything can be real.

But for those already halfway into the world of esoterica, mentioning something like the Tool Society gives those people a foothold. The idea of like, oh yeah, okay.

I've heard that one before. I've read that somewhere. I've read that somewhere. This is also how the reptilian conspiracy feeds into QAnon. While a conspiracy theorist may have read far in the past about the reptilian agenda and dismissed it, their brain has a flutter of recognition when those same ideas are read years later with Democrats replacing reptilians. You know, I've heard of that before.

And this makes the idea of QAnon more plausible because the reader has heard it somewhere before. They just can't quite place where. All it is is it like this is familiar. So it's just repeated over and over and it gives it just that little ounce of like, well, let's take a little bit of a closer look at this. It's hard because in my mind, it's the same story we've heard many, many times. We have heard this.

The story of a small cabal running things. It's like it's been as long as we there has been human thought ever since there's been hierarchy. We have been talking about there was the secret schools in the very beginning. We had secret schools and we had political conspiracy. We all within the ancient societies. And so it's it's.

fascinating that it keeps happening and that people still act like, oh, this is brand new when it's just repackaging of ancient concepts. And then partially wonder, because I do believe in genetic memory. I do believe that there is that, like, there's something that...

it seems like we fall into these patterns of doing it again, of being like, oh, I have to participate in this thought experiment that is as old as human consciousness. Mm-hmm. Well, I mean, I think it's also that, you know, the Illuminati and those sorts of concepts have existed for, you know, hundreds upon hundreds of years. 1776. Yeah. The...

Bavarian Illuminati formed on May 1st, 1776. And that was the only named Illuminati necessarily because then it had to go underground once it was shut down for trying to manipulate elections. Yeah. But to my point, the Illuminati that's... Oh, Mr. Points. Oh, Mr. Five Sense Reality with the stuff he sat and thought about. Today is the last time I let you talk to me about this. I...

It must end. It has to stop. Well, I mean, these secret societies, these ideas that, you know, that the world is run in such a way that you can't understand, a way that you can't see, a way that you can't control. That's been around for a long time. And then you need me to explain. Well, the thing is, is that David Icke and these other people, they just made it edgy. Like they were marketable. Yeah, I actually put it towards marketable. They made it like they made it violent.

Which is marketable. Yeah. People love violence. They do. Historically. Yeah.

Well, in Ike's next chapter, he enters territory that, in the last eight years, has become the core idea of modern conspiracy thought. Namely, that the world is run by a satanic cabal who sacrifices children in ritualistic gatherings of the world's elite. Now, according to Ike, reptilian Satanism has nothing to do with the Christian version of Satan. Yeah, it was inspired by reptilians. Well, Christianity is supposedly a religion co-opted by the reptilians.

It's impossible because the power of Jesus should make it like, that's what they said. It's like, I thought that reptilians were also like repelled by pure love. And isn't Jesus Christ made of pure love? Unless you're Catholic. Then he's Jewish. Ha ha ha!

Very interesting. Well, the point of reptilian Satanism is to use disgustingly evil rituals to supercharge the blood of their victims. The reptilians then drink that blood to maintain the psychic strength they need to live in our dimension. He wavers on how physically real it is, though, just so you know. Of course. Well, later on. We'll get into his wavering later on. This is, of course, just a reworking of the Jewish blood libel conspiracy that claims that Jews use the blood of Christian children to make their matzah at Passover.

I know there's no yeast. Yeah, there's no yeast in it. This conspiracy has been around since the 12th century and has led to countless pogroms throughout Europe over the last 900 years. Tens of thousands, if not millions of people have been killed over the blood libel conspiracy. People love to hate the Jews. Yeah. We know. Yeah. I want to say, honestly, I feel bad for the reptilians.

Sure. Also, because they don't exist. No, no, because they've been around for a long time. OK, we've every culture's talked about, even just in the idea of, you know, serpent people and the ant people and Chitauri and all this type of shit. I think the reptilians at some point are like, you know, we don't have to be Jewish. You know, like, honestly, my my sister in law.

is Jewish and she's wonderful and they have thousands of years of history and I love the sense of humor that they embrace the foibles of life with. Another word that we wouldn't have if it wasn't for the humble Jewish people. My sister-in-law Rachel says that I have chutzpah and that gives me confidence. What I love is to sit down at a nice long seder

and enjoy my time explaining how next year in Jerusalem things will be different. Because my eyelids go side to side, I have to read backwards. It is not my fault. I actually identify as Mormon.

Which is a reptilian organization. Yeah! The Church of Jesus Christ of Latter-day Saints is a reptilian organization. All Mormons are reptiles. Congrats, boys, you made it! But in Ike's world, the reptilian satanic blood rituals are used to create an energy field that connects the consciousness of the reptilians to other consciousnesses of the lower fourth dimension using fear, guilt, and hate to open the lower astral plane. Okay.

Interestingly, though, Ike says that the most powerful blood when it comes to the life force is not the blood of a child, like many believe, but menstrual blood, which Ike calls star fire. Ooh, wow. That's ladies turning around on yourself. Yeah. That's how you're nice. You can be like, instead of being like, oh, I'm having my period, being like, there's star fire coming out of my pussy. Yeah. And menstrual blood is the only free blood if you're going with the Jewish angle. What do you mean? I mean, it just comes at you without cutting yourself. Oh, wow.

That's blood you could just have. That's your extra blood. Free blood. Wow. I never thought of menstrual blood as free blood. That's free-ass blood. She's trying to give it away.

But Ike does manage to give this an evil angle, saying that the most powerful menstrual blood is from a virgin. Now, these satanic rituals take many forms because the more events I can connect to Satanism, the more amenable the Satan believing Christians are to his ideas.

Using a fear of the occult, Ike claims that Aleister Crowley sacrificed 150 children every year between 1912 and 1928, meaning that Crowley alone personally sacrificed somewhere around 2,500 kids without anyone noticing. I know Aleister Crowley sacrificed a lot of half babies by cumming on things and eating it. You know what I mean? But that's different. Yeah.

But there are also large-scale rituals. According to Ike, both the disaster at Waco and the bombing in Oklahoma City during the 90s were satanic rituals targeting specifically the children who were killed. Now, Janet Reno...

Could be a reptile. Oh, yeah. Oh, yeah. If I'm going to make one exception, she's a crocodile, man. Likewise, the assassinations of JFK and Princess Diana were also satanic rituals. Now, with all the satanic ritual talk, David Icke introduces an important element to his conspiracy, the element of personal fear. While cabals who control banks, engineer wars and carry out assassinations of public figures are absent,

are abstract concepts to most people, anyone can imagine their child being kidnapped and murdered by Satanists. By definition, people who kidnap and kill children are monsters. So if you've stuck with David Icke this far, you might be willing to transform the metaphorical monster of a child killer into an actual reptilian monster using just the slightest bit of imagination. And then, if you believe that your imagination is real, then you might take the steps to go out there and kill...

a bunch of monsters. Like, this is the issue, obviously, which is the stakes, is that it'd be different. David Icke

He fancies himself this Messiah prophet speaker, right? But then he always begs off. He always tries to do things. But unfortunately, Mr. Ike, you don't get that opportunity. You're not a comedian. I get to wave my little white flag at comedy, right? I can go, anytime I say something, I go like, I'm laughing. I'm making funny. I'm a moron. You know what I mean? Because in the end, it's true. I don't fully read everything. The only thing I fully read is Children of the Matrix. And it's making me worse. It's making me less engageable.

Can we cut that out and make a commercial for this book? So I'm allowed to walk away at any time. If you don't like what I'm saying, I got the fucking escape hatch to say I'm a comedian. It's not that serious, right? It ain't that deep.

but he's saying he's a prophet and Messiah, which means we need to look at your words a little bit more closely. And so you saying stuff like this and ramping up the stakes that it is in human nature, that everything that's going on is in human in nature. You're eventually going to decide, Oh, then it must be okay to just kind of kill these people. Yeah. And you like, while now David Ike, well, he has changed over the years, which we'll get to, but he's going to, it's just hard because it's the,

if you believe that you're just against the literal cabal of, of child eating monsters, then what are you not willing to do? Also, it's like easier to kill a fucking lizard than a person. That's what I'm saying. You believe everyone's a fucking lizard. It's easy to kill them. Yeah. No,

Now, Ike also includes certain serial killers in the satanic category, naming David Berkowitz, Charles Manson, Richard Ramirez, and Henry Lee Lucas as the heavies who kill for Satan slash reptilians. But that's only like 20 kills. Well, those are the ones we know about. That we know about. Okay, yeah. And then also, they're all the extensions of gigantic satanic...

cult networks. Yeah. And if you're believing what Henry Lee Lucas says, which, you know, David Ike absolutely believes what Henry Lee Lucas says. Henry Lee Lucas alone claims like 100 murders, 150, something like that. He most likely killed like three people. But Ike says that the motivation behind their crimes are all covered up by the media. But by my knowledge, there was, in fact, a bestseller with multiple printings

About David Berkowitz's connection to Satanism. It was called The Ultimate Evil. But they tried to shut it down, but they failed by publishing that book and allowing it to go out. Many times. Yeah. See, but Berkowitz's dog only had one head instead of three.

That's right. Yes. There was also the less successful book, The Hand of Death, about Henry Lee Lucas's supposed connection to a satanic cabal of elites who directed Lucas's serial killing activities. But the point is that this shit is out there. No. Where the cabal came in there, Marcus, was making that book suck. And that's what they do, is that that's how they hide the information. That's the biggest problem here. David Icke does it to himself. Yeah. He makes books suck.

So it's so hard to get to the information inside of them. Well, in this, David Icke is doing the same thing many conspiracy theorists do. They talk about how all of this information is being suppressed everywhere except where they're talking about it, which is usually in a place that's available to anyone with minimal effort. There's nobody more canceled than somebody with 10 million followers.

Yeah, exactly. I mean, that's the thing is that, you know, Alex Jones talks about, you know, I got deplatformed. I'm being silenced, blah, blah, blah. It's like I think people can handle typing in a new Internet address. The Internet is literally infinite. We don't need to go to for the four websites that we are supposed to go watch content on. Yeah.

Now, this helps both the reader and the writer bond in how persecuted and special they are. And it prepares the reader for how defensive they're going to get when their family asks them just where the fuck they heard about all this wacky shit. Each book...

slowly lowers you into the water of this concept of people are going to hate you for talking about this. Yeah. But like any conspiracy theorist worth their salt, I concludes the most nefarious conspiracy of the 20th century that's actually been proven. Notice how I said conspiracy and not conspiracy theory because MKUltra definitely happened. Well, we've said that when we did our MKUltra series is that the government did not know what they were doing there

with what they were playing with on a psychological, spiritual level with the fabric of humanity, history, and our country when MKUltra started because the MKUltra is the reason why any of this shit

got any sort of air at all because that shit was real. And so all you got to do is now point to that. I mean, like, so how much more far-fetched is everything else? Well, that shit was real, but it's not real in the way that the conspiracy theorists say that it's real. That's the problem. This is the issue. It's why you and I and the three of us are fucking jammed in a corner because we get called...

fucking ops and CIA guys and NSA operatives and the shit right. But it's because you got to go do all the stupid reading. You got to go read all the details to see the actual nature of what was happening. And it's a lot of research. If I was a CIA op, I would not be using a shared laundry room at my apartment.

Well, Ike treats the attempted mind control program as if it actually worked in a joint effort between Nazis, Italian fascists, the Rockefeller family, writer Aldous Huxley and a reptilian who loved the movie Frankenstein. MKUltra is an Ike's world central to the modern satanic reptilian conspiracy.

Inspired by ancient secret schools, voodoo, witchcraft, and psychics, Ike's MK Ultra includes Jim Jones, electromagnets, vaccines, Diet Coke, and antidepressants. I mean, I do all of that in one. That's my night. That's my Saturday night. Yeah, Jonestown documentary. I got my electromagnets on my fucking dick. I switched to Coke Zero. It's really important. You know what I find really worth? Because of the diabetes. Yes.

You know what's nice? It mixes with Coke. Zero is about five shots of a vaccine. I have those just chilling out of the house. If I ever want to relax, I always take one or two just to chill out. And then for fun, I'll take a third and a fourth. Yeah. Like after dinner. Yeah. And then after that, a fucking like nightcap of a fucking big cup of Adrenochrome. Oh, yeah. Yeah.

I have a 13 year old girl tied up in my house right now, ready for me to harvest her uterus. And you know what? She couldn't be happier about it. She loves LA.

Well, all of this, especially the trauma-based program Project Monarch, are used to create mind-control clones who infiltrate organizations that threaten the reptilians. Why can't the reptilians just handle it themselves? They're interdimensional warrior-conquering aliens. Hold on a second. The shitty Godzilla series, Monarch, is Godzilla... Nothing to do with it. But he's a lizard! And he comes from the hollow earth. Yeah, he comes from the middle

in the middle of the Earth. Well, that does all kind of connect. Unless he did come from the hologram moon, which is also not a hologram. It's a space station that the reptilians live in as well. That's where Cloverfield comes from. Idiot. But maybe Cloverfield is...

one of their cousins. We'll get into the role of movies and TV here in a bit. Thank you. Well, those same mind control techniques also create child sex slaves who provide sexual services to presidents, foreign leaders, politicians, businessmen, celebrities, and bankers. Tell me none of these successful people want to fuck an adult. Ha ha ha!

It's hard. You got to have a conversation. There's a whole lot that's attached to it. It's much easier if they just fucking roll a child sex slave in the room. They're busy.

Oh, yeah, yeah. But once those slaves are all used up, they're ritualistically murdered and dismembered so their body parts can be sold to celebrities for use in their own black magic rituals. I mean, and some of this, it is so hard to get a hold of a little girl's face. If you are fighting over it was me, Jonathan Taylor Thomas.

We were hanging out, both of us scissoring each other in order to get our Oregon energy up. Sure. And he's always going for the eyeballs. I was like, JTT, I know you're ready to do your fucking comeback here and you need to eat the budding breasts of a changing little girl. But honestly, at the same time, buddy, I got to get to my audition. We got to wrap this up. He's just yapping over it. You know how some people take so long with lunch? I just eat. Yeah.

Sitting talking. Well, that little bet that you just did right there, I'm about to tell you how that bet can be extraordinarily dangerous. Oh, no.

David Icke's inclusion of celebrities in the reptilian agenda is key to how it later influenced QAnon. According to Icke, Jerry Lee Lewis, Bob Hope, and this is going to break your heart, Eddie. Eddie, I just need you to just note that this is going to be kind of upsetting for you. Chris Christopherson. I was worried you were going to say Don Rickles. All reptilians who murder and eat children.

But the influence of the idea that celebrities ritualistically murder children in black magic rituals was especially strong with a guy named Isaac Cappy.

Cappy was an actor from Albuquerque who moved to Los Angeles after selling a song called champagne bike ride to an ad company. Hey man. Hey, he was, he was already making it. I mean, well, he was a big fish in a small pond. He was, uh, in the Albuquerque acting scene when breaking bad was filming there. There was a lot of stuff filming there. The governor, uh, ended the tax break for, uh, felt for movie companies and TV companies, filming companies, uh,

in New Mexico so they all left and when they all left, I see Cappy's like, I'm going to go to LA myself. Yeah, I just wrote a song about drunk driving. This will be fun. Yeah.

Now, Cappy struggled as an actor in Los Angeles because, as I said, big fish, small pond. But somehow he ended up making friends with a small circle of mid-level celebrities fairly soon after moving here. He liked them and they liked him. And as far as the celebrities knew, he was just a normal Silver Lake hipster. Cappy, however, was into conspiracy theories. That's a normal Silver Lake hipster. Yeah, although it wasn't something he talked about at all. He just kind of kept it to himself. Kind of a hobby.

This changed, however, when Pizzagate became the internet's conspiracy du jour in 2016. If

If you don't know, Pizzagate came from the emails that were leaked from the Democratic National Convention during the 2016 election. Because of the frequent and strange mentions of pizza of various varieties in these emails, Internet sleuths determined that pizza was a code being used by Democrats to disguise child sex trafficking. Especially when they said, we're going to fucking eat this calzone named Rebecca. LAUGHTER

Additionally, people found a single reference to something called spirit cooking in an email from DNC chairman John Podesta. In reality, this was a dinner with performance artist Marina Abramovic, who in the late 90s did freaky performances with an occult bent using menstrual blood, breast milk, urine, and a lot of cum. So yeah, this was John Podesta's

Failing at being international. Yes. She also did a series of etchings that included a series of absurdist recipes that included ingredients like the fingertips of an artist or a ruby that had been soaking for three days. This series was called...

Spirit cooking. Most likely, Podesta, who was a collector of modern art, was referencing this in an email. Can't wait for the spirit cooking on Friday. What is the mechanism? I'd love for somebody to tell me. Sidestorieslpotl at gmail.com. What is the thought mechanism that affects people that believe conspiracy theories in this way in which they take nothing as figurative? Yes. There is this concept of like...

That's what, you know, David Icke is the king of this. The king of, like, we're taking these things and instead of imagining that they're allegorical or that there are things to be inferred from this or that they're poetry or that style or they have their symbols. Like, I wonder what that's called. That you flip the thought into being all of this is concretely real. Except when it's a code.

Exactly. Yeah. That's the thing is that they can't take like the spirit cooking things like, you know, metaphorical or like an example of old school dumb shit, like literally just witchcraft bullshit. Essentially just crazy shit that weird shit that people do. Rich people do for whatever reason, which is like it.

It is creepy. It's not just rich people. We know plenty of people who do weird shit with cum. It's true. Yeah. It is. Honestly, I know a lot. But we, I feel like, we're in the top five percentile of people that know people that sort of recreationally play with cum and blood and shit and piss. Yeah. And it's like, but you know, again, I love those people. I invite them to my home. Yeah. They've been to my Thanksgiving. They can wash their hands. Yeah, I mean, always. I always give a little squirt of hand sanitizer. But none of them have the turkey paste. Yeah.

But none of them have anything to do with kids. None of them have anything to do with like fucking any... They hate kids! They hate kids actively. I will say I was watching because we're both watching Drag Race, right? Yeah, I love it. There was an episode of Drag Race where it was all about

them doing adult kids songs and there was like this episode was like, oh boy, this is going to make some people fucking, they would get freaked out by this. But for me, I'm like, no, I can meet these. I understand. It's not weird to me. No, not at all. But again, I can see you're from Saginaw, Michigan. You,

You have no, you don't know. You've never seen this before. You've never met a man from fucking who wears a mesh shirt. No. You know, who guy who brings spiders out recreationally. You've never met that guy, right? You don't hang out with. So this stuff sounds crazy. Sounds fucking insane. And meanwhile, like we're watching it and thinking, it's like, you know, I think Alaska is going to get in trouble for doing boy drag. Yeah. I still, I do understand our parameters, but,

They are off. Yeah. We're on the fringe side of it, but...

But still, like, we're not doing anything evil. We're not doing anything illegal. We're not hurting anybody. Yeah, I just like it's just like it's fucking weird. It's fine. It's just weird activity. I just wonder what that I wonder if there is like a clinical term for what that is. Just being have just taking everything literally. I think it's just having no sense of humor in your life is just an empty chasm and you need to fill it with pain. Yeah. Yeah. Well, this is all this all exists to show unlikable people while everyone hates them. Yeah.

But to the Pizzagate people, the supposed pizza code combined with the spirit cooking reference meant that Democrats and celebrities were using children and satanic occult rituals. And it was out of this that QAnon was born. Now let's get back to Isaac Cappy. Isn't molestation bad enough? These kids just get molested by their group. Yeah. Did you see that Nickelodeon thing? No, I haven't watched it. I don't know if I want.

We were talking about watching it last night. It's not a super relaxing watch. Yeah. Yeah. It's no fun. Yeah, we ended up just watching soap operas and having burgers last night. That was a lot more fun. Yeah. Because the thing, we don't need a cabal of Satanist fucking reptilian aliens. We just got guys that sometimes fucking suck these kids. Mm-hmm.

Yeah. Molesters exist. They do exist. And they should be killed. Yeah. But they don't need to be shape-shifting interdimensional creatures. They really don't. Once Pizzagate hit the internet, Cappy, for some reason, bought it completely. And the next time he hung out with his celebrity circle of friends, he brought it up. They, of course, saw it for how ridiculous it was right off the bat and started laughing. Unfortunately, though, they then took it one step further.

Now, there are a bunch of different versions of this story, but the broad stroke is that one of these celebrities had a secret room behind a secret door for whatever reason. And he joked that this is where they kept the children. And that's a funny joke for somebody with an incredible Hollywood mansion. Literally could have been any of us at any time making a joke about around our friends. I've now made several jokes about being a CIA op that I have seen people take seriously. And sometimes it does worry me. Yes.

And this celebrity then said that all the conspiracies about the elite killing children were true and all Isaac Cappy had to do to be successful was to join them in their child killing rituals. Again, taking the joke a little far. Yeah. But it's...

It's not anything, but it's not serious. Also, you don't even, you're in this situation. You're entertaining a group of comedians. Yeah. You're going to say fucked up shit. If someone's saying a crazy thing, you're going to say another crazy thing because you're in a safe space, i.e. your home. Yeah. So you're going to just joke around freely because you think it's cool and then fucking madness happens. Yeah. What?

What the celebrity didn't count on was that Cappy was gullible as fuck and incredibly susceptible to conspiracy thought. For the celebrity, it was a joke with a friend. For Cappy, it was the confirmation of what he'd thought for years, that there was a conspiracy happening underneath the surface of everything he thought he knew.

Cappy soon after lost his mind and became one of the main QAnon celebrities until he died by accidentally falling off a bridge not too long before January 6th, 2021. Oh no, that's like dying right before your birthday.

No, it was on a dash cam. He was driving home from LA to Albuquerque. He stopped to like, they say he stopped to like just kind of watch the sunset sitting on the edge of a bridge. He could have been contemplating. I'm sure he was contemplating. We don't know. All we know is that like a couple of guys pulled up in their truck that was caught on a dash cam. A couple of guys pulled up in their truck and got out and was like, hey, don't do it. They're trying to help. And Cappy turned around too quickly, kind of startled, lost his balance and

fucking fell and died. So this is a little message from us, podcasts on the left. So if you see somebody standing at the edge of a bridge about to jump off, you don't want to go like, boom! You don't want to scare them. You know what I mean? Hey, buddy. This is a good tone. Hey, buddy.

That's it. Yeah, that's it. Pretend they're a stray dog. Yes. Yeah. No, no, no, no, no. Keep treats in your pockets. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Honestly, there was a couple of times during college I was just a quarter pounder away. And if you had one on you, man, it would have saved me.

But even though Cappy's death was caught on camera, it was still seen as a murder. And in the weeks leading up to the insurrection of January 6th, many of the most visible QAnon believers posted about Cappy's so-called murder again and again and again and again.

Now, it's hard to measure something like this, but some people speculate that the conspiracy around Cappy's death is what gave the insurrection that extra spice it needed to actually happen because somebody had died. It was like what the what was his name? Atticus Finch. The guy from in the Revolutionary War, the first man shot. Oh, Crispus Atticus Finch.

Was that his name? I don't know. Reptilian. Yeah, Crispus Attucks. Wow, good memory. Thank you. Wasn't it a black guy? Yeah. Yeah, Crispus Attucks. He was a stevedore. Does that make you feel better? No, it makes me feel worse. It makes me feel way worse. Yeah, it's really very intense. Fly from your grave.

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Me and the kids were always messaging. They LOL'd, I ROFL'd. But then I changed phone and the bubbles went green. But where there's a fill, there's a way. And I found a way to share what's in here. I'm tapping my heart. WhatsApp, the place to safely send messages between different devices. Message privately with everyone.

Now, as far as I can tell, Cappy wasn't so far gone that he was an adherent to Ike's ideas. But Ike was among the first people to say that celebrities were child-killing, blood-drinking, satanic monsters. And it's not at all a stretch to say that the conspiracists who created Pizzagate were familiar with the works of David Icke. Now, as far as why reptilians are doing all this sinister shit, Ike goes extremely vague and claims that it's all about the vibrations.

Through their satanic ritual sacrifices, reptilians stimulate our lizard brains to create aggression that brings us down to their level. This is necessary because humans naturally exist on a higher plane of consciousness. We're 5D, they're 3D. I thought they were 4D and we're 3D.

I don't know, buddy. I know my mom was double D. Yeah, nice. Yeah. Yeah. Tits. Yeah, your mom's corpse is nice. War, fear, terrorism, schools, universities, media, politics, all of it is part of the Reptilian Brotherhood's plan to keep us from reaching our true potential. This makes...

everyone in authority the enemy, except for those who tell you that everything is a conspiracy. I just, you know, again, we're looking for sense. Why? But, you know, they've created, so according to David Icke, they created

our consciousness. They created us. The reptilians. Yes. Humans. We were bred or the controlling lines of humans. First, the monkeys humans were made to dig for gold for their starships. Number one. We're like labradoodles. Yes. We are.

We're sheepoos. We're sheepoos. Hypoallergenic. Yes. And then they then made... So that's one version of us. And they also made hybrid versions of humans that were reptilian human that would be allowed to carry reptilian genes so that they can be used remotely to control these various secret schools.

in order to take over the government. But at the same time, our very consciousness was created in a hologram. He's now saying we're fully in a simulation that is being run by the reptilians. But why do they need that if they made us in the first place? If they're going to go through all of this stuff, why are we in a

Why are we in a hologram universe? And then why then does just listening David Icke pop it out? And then also, like, how did David Icke get out of it if the very base of reality is a construct, if it's created and it's piloted outside of all of us on a starship somewhere? Again, the comic book closes at 5 o'clock every day except Wednesday. I am just saying...

Like I just It's one of those Where it's like How then you see Outside of the matrix If everything is Only a matrix Vibes Yes Yeah So if you're If you're a reptilian After you die You become a hologram Like Tupac Whoa Very nice

Now, when I say everything is a conspiracy, I mean everything. Movies and TV shows like Arrival, V, Stargate, Enemy Minds. Now, Arrival, Charlie Sheen Arrival? No, never Charlie Sheen Arrival. Amy Adams. Amy Adams Arrival. I love the Charlie Sheen one. Me too. With the backwards Ds. Yeah.

That's a really good one. Actually, I think it is the Charlie Sheen arrival. I think it's the Charlie Sheen arrival. It has to be because all of David... Charlie Sheen, human. Yeah. Really? Oh, yeah. Well, because remember, The Biggest Secret was written in 1999, so all of David Icke's references are from the 80s and 90s. So it was Charlie Sheen. It was Charlie Sheen. It was. I'm sorry. I'm glad we clarified this. Because, yeah, the other arrival, they're too peaceful. Yeah. Way too peaceful. You ever see Enemy Mine?

Is that the one with the guy with the crazy face? In his brain. Yes. Tell me what are you going to be? Remember, that's his voice. Yeah, yeah. It's like loosely in my brain. I saw it when I was a child. Yeah, me too. And it just like fucking scared the shit out of me. Yeah, Louis Gossett Jr.,

Yes! He's great. Yeah. But that's a reptilian movie. Star Trek, you know, the Gorn. That's reptilian. Okay. Sequest DSV. I don't really know how the dolphins play into it, but that's also reptilian. Dolphins can think. Yeah. And that guy killed himself. Yeah. That's true. He knew the truth. Yeah. Well, these exist purely to taunt humans by plainly telling us that reptilians exist.

One of the most incredible examples of a reptilian movie, though, is the Whoopi Goldberg bomb, Theodore Rex. It is more effective at telling the story of reptilians than any one of his books. Theodore Rex explains the draconian reptilian agenda.

incredibly well. I was more of a carnosaur boy myself. Well, Theodore Rex is set in a future where literal talking dinosaurs lived among us and team up with police officers to solve murders. Apparently, though, the reptilian plan went awry because Theodore Rex was so bad that it went straight to video. They can't reliably make a hit. It was the most expensive straight to video release ever made.

Until, and I just had to put this in here because I couldn't believe this shit. I never heard of this. It was until the 2012 animated movie Food Fight, which featured the Vlasic stork, Chef Boyardee, Mrs. Butterworth, and a bunch of other food mascots in a fight against the mysterious Brand X. It took 10 years to make, cost $65 million, and starred Hilary Duff, Eva Longoria, Wayne Brady, Christopher Lloyd, Chris Kattan, and...

Charlie Sheen in the lead role as a dog dressed as Indiana Jones named Dex Dogtective. Hilary Duff reptilian, Eva Longoria reptilian, Wayne Brady human, Christopher Lloyd reptilian, Chris Kattan reptilian. What? Charlie Sheen human. Yeah, unfortunately, yes. Now, what I don't understand about it. I would say that Chris Kattan, if you look at peepers, that is a man who understands the inner workings of a primate.

Not a reptilian. Wow. You know what? You're right. I'll take my papers. Let me call that hit man. I'm sending them over. Um, you said again, now that movie, once food fights can be remade by Greta Gerwig. Now I'm going to like win a Nobel prize. It would have been a better, like a fighting game. Yeah. Yeah.

Oh, I watched the trailer. It's the worst animation. It's CGI animation. It's the worst animation I've ever seen in my entire life. It somehow just got, it was straight to video. Wow, this is bad. Yeah, the poster is like Charlie the Tuna and the Vlasic Stork. And I think Mr. Twinkie in a shopping cart.

Wow. But anyways, according to David Icke, children's TV shows and movies are rife with reptilians from Ninja Turtles to Land of the Lost, which are all made to prepare children for the reptilian truths. UFO movies are much the same, except the opposite. The

These are psyops to convince us the reptilians aren't real. Because if we believe in movies like Independence Day that the invasion is yet to come, we won't see the truth about the reptilians among us. But I understand that he's trying to inspire human beings to rebel against the Matrix itself. Then wouldn't that be a great message about this is our Independence Day? Well, that came later after he changed his mind.

Really, I can never decide whether or not the reptilians want humanity to know they exist. He keeps vacillating between one and the other. They're bad at that. They're bad at hiding. Very bad at hiding. Yeah, because they also covered a bunch of... They did the hieroglyphs with it. They've been telling everybody they're here ever since they were here. Except they're not. But the thing is, they told Credo Mubah that they're here. And then they told all the people in the secret schools that they were here. They told some people. And they told us by telling us.

If you want to know what the truth is, watch They Live. That's what David Icke says. They Live is the only movie that ever told the truth. But it was a movie that was allowed to be made. Yeah, a lot of people had to say yes for They Live to make it to the theater. But the thing is that I thought it was like a

That the media was completely and totally and utterly controlled by reptilians? Reptilians that oftentimes have to take a week off during the holidays, and they actually have a lot of different fun holidays. Yeah, and that's why they couldn't get an actor. They had to get Roddy Roddy Piper. Yeah. Who ended up being incredible. Yeah. He is great in that movie. Yeah, I guess so. Yeah. I mean, I love the movie. Don't get me wrong, but he's not a good actor. I don't know. Did you see him in Always Sunny? No. He's great in that. He's incredible in that. Oh, really? Yeah. I'll check that out. No, you got to see him. But...

What David Icke is doing with this, with the media argument, is training the reader's brain to filter everything through the lens of the reptilian agenda. The impact of The Biggest Secret on both the world of conspiracy and the world where the rest of us live is alarmingly large. In a poll conducted in 2013, 4% of Americans believe that reptilians control the government. And while 4% doesn't sound like a lot, it's 12.5 million people. Yeah.

But to be fair, this was also at a time when 13% of Americans believed that Barack Obama was the Antichrist. And they've all long since moved on from that idea when they realized that all Obama wanted to do was fucking produce nature shows and bad movies instead of fucking helping us. Malia, you need to do something else. Nobody cares about your short film. Nobody cares. Nobody wants it. You're going to end up doing shoots and ladders the movie and it doesn't fucking matter. It's not going to do anything for anybody.

I think she can do whatever she likes. I'm just saying. She can do whatever she likes, of course, but Barack, we need some help. We need some help, buddy. Yeah, dude, go be the mayor of fucking Chicago or some shit. Something else. Yeah, something, dude. Go be the governor of Hawaii. But on the other hand, considering how there are factions of QAnon who truly believe that Donald Trump actively battles reptilians, I'd imagine that the number of Americans who believe in David Icke is now considerably higher than it was 10 years ago.

Donald Trump is on his shit list too. Yeah. Is he? He's on David Icke's shit list. David Icke doesn't like Donald Trump. He doesn't like any American, really. But the thing is about David Icke's reptilian idea, it is far bigger than David Icke. Oh, yes. That's the thing. The idea went because he keyed into something that there is something ancient about it. It's not the actual literal truth. It is about

people's distrust of inherently ever since it became into the game started with the priests were the only people who could read the Bibles and that was the only way we got the information. It's like we've always distrusted

what was coming from up top. And he's using that in a gamified, what we've been talking about, in a gamified way, in a new way, in a way that makes you want to go and do something about it. Yeah, but the thing is that the Reptilians and David Icke are now two separate entities. Yo, no, Reptilians are now just going off on their own. Yeah, the biggest secret opened up a fucking Pandora's box that no matter what David Icke says...

No matter what he said after 1999, that shit just got embedded into the human consciousness and it ain't going away anytime soon. No. Since The Biggest Secret was released in 1999, Ike has published a further 15 books with titles like Human Race, Get Off Your Knees. Stop sucking dick.

The lion sleeps no more. Remember who you are. Remember, quote unquote, where you are and where you, quote unquote, come from. Is that one title? Yeah, and they got to give that book to Joe Biden. Come on, not feeling good. There's also The Phantom Self and How to Find the Real One. Okay. And, of course, Perceptions of a Renegade Mind.

Now, in these books, David Icke doesn't necessarily walk back the reptilian agenda, but he does amend it more and more with each release to make it more palatable. By 2003, in his book Tales from the Time Loop, Icke changed his view and wrote that what he thought was the reptilian brotherhood was actually the Illuminati all along.

This knowledge, Ike wrote, came from an ayahuasca trip he had in Brazil after a telepathic voice contacted him and his then-wife Pamela while they were in Arizona. He and Pamela, by the way, divorced a couple years later, and Pamela took most of David Icke's money. Which shouldn't have bothered him because he said that all money's fake. That's right. It shouldn't have bothered him, but it seems that a lot of the things that...

bother him or what he says then don't exist. But he says he's thinking that he doesn't have rheumatoid arthritis anymore. He's going to think that he doesn't have it. Oh, he's going to think it away. Yeah. That's nice. It's not working. No, it won't work. Those hands look like gnarled vines. Mm-hmm.

But concerning the ayahuasca trip, he said that his first feelings after he drank the substance were waves of pent up frustration going back to the days of mass ridicule when he was so publicly humiliated on The Wogan Show in 1991. Which he compares to being Jesus Christ, being flayed on the cross. And that was his cross to bear. That's what he does for us. He accepts ridicule for us.

But then the trip turned positive with the love and the infinite possibilities and the heart chakras and such and such.

Ike then was told that the Matrix was real in the sense that we're all stuck in a sort of mind prison. But the Matrix was also a whirlpool, while the infinite oneness, which is what we should all be aiming for, is a river. I don't know, buddy. The titular time loop, Ike wrote, is when our consciousness gets stuck in the whirlpool, trapping us in an endless cycle of illusions. Again, nothing is real except what we perceive. Time is an illusion. Fear is the mind killer and so on and so forth.

Ike then heard the powerful voice of a woman who told him that reptilians weren't actually physically real, but holographic projections like the agents in the movie The Matrix. And there's no way that wasn't his PR person from his publishing company. Yeah.

Ike then starts, well, his own publishing company, you mean? Ike then starts using an incredibly annoying repeating device, writing something pithy, then following it with the word illusion, bolded in all caps and spelled with five U's. An example, quote, Do you think that's the earth you're lying on now? Illusion. I kind of like that. Illusion.

I wish that's what fucking Copperfield did. As far as what we can do to break ourselves free from reptilian control, we can let go of our fear of what other people think of us. Even, no, especially if it differs from the norm. Because, hey, you know, people say, oh, what's normal? What's normal to you is different from what's normal to me. Some people, they like a bit of peanut butter. Some people like

peanut butter they put a little bit of bread they call it a sandwich for me i call this pile of shit i eat it i eat peanut butter most brits don't like peanut butter too saccharine sweet i like a bit of dirt you do yeah i want to eat a golf ball for breakfast yeah i'll do whatever i want we

We also need to allow others to do the same and respect everyone's free will. That means don't push reptilians too hard on your brother-in-law. Make him do the work. But the most important thing you can do to defeat the reptilians is to heal your vibrational energies, which can, of course, only be accomplished by purchasing additional David Icke books and lectures. Hey, don't discount the app. He's got a new app that he was doing because he brought... He just makes shit up. So...

It's true. I wanted to see where he's at now. So I bought and read and consumed as much as I could of The Trap, the new David Icke book from 2022. And the review is, it stinks. But the book itself is interesting that he walks back

All reptilian stuff. He stops, like, the reptilian thing he starts making fun of. So then he uses, he then switches it. So wait, he doesn't think they exist now? Well, he's calling them archontic forces. And he says these archontic forces, what they're doing is they form themselves as to what you find the most creepy. Right? Like, some people, of course, reptilian aliens, they're negative. Very negative. Mm-hmm.

Some people might see it as like big spiders, though. Absolutely. Utterly. They might see them as greys. Right. They said that they're all lumped in. They're all part of the same thing. Who knows? Right. Like for him, his worst part, it's like what he hates is a bunch of people with yarmulkes on about to write a bunch of book reviews. That's the thing that scares him. For me to be a bunch of salads. Yes. Yes.

That would be your arcontic forces. For me, it would be watching five balding men with mustaches do better than me in show business. Those are my arcontic forces that I have to go and I have to fight. I have to go bring the fight to Matt McCarthy. I have to go bring the fight to John Gemberling. I have to go bring the fight to that other guy. They're very talented. Oh, yeah, they're very talented. And they're all ready. They don't even know I'm coming.

They do. They know you well. I think this is why they like me more. Yeah.

David Icke existed on the fringes for almost two decades, really only reaching an audience that was able to find his self-published books in New Age bookstores or on his website. But with the advent of YouTube, David Icke's ideas truly began to take root. By 2011, David Icke was selling out 2,000 seat theaters all over the world where he would talk for hours.

Hours on end, totally unscripted. Usually only with a slideshow that featured over 1,400 images as a guide. Ike therefore flourished on YouTube for years, gaining more and more followers until he finally crossed the line in 2020 like so many others did. He rode that wave of the 2012 thing. You could really see that's where he hit his peak, which was...

the lead up to 2012 where it was like the country. Do you remember that time period of like... Yeah. That's when I thought it was Y2K again. And it's why I got into this stuff literally into the first place. I was fascinated with this concept of the Mayan calendar. And then I remember when Shane Morton, my...

literally like the only person I'd call like a mentor when he put the biggest secret in my hands and he's just like, you got to read this. But it was like, it was more of like exploring the other side. But it was that time period. It was like, he was really doing great. Yeah. I then 2020 just,

Fucked him Yeah Of course Like he did everyone Yeah But the problem is with him Because he's the most special special boy in the world You know It's how all these guys were Where it was like 2020 was It might have been bad for you But it was really bad for him You know I got a question This is just like my weird curiosity These 2000 seat shows Do you think that they were selling booze? And do you think if they were That these people drink? Yeah Or do they not drink? They do

You think they drink? Oh, yes. Yeah, it's the same. He's playing the same theaters that we play. Yes. They go in the same way people go to watch stand-ups. I've seen these crowds. Like, they are... That is what's interesting. Have you ever seen him live? No, I mean, I've watched...

I watched one of his stage shows. What they do is, they're like six hours long and they have a break. So you can walk away. It's like a whole day thing. It's worse than church. Yes. It always very much so is. Because in church, they're singing. Yeah. He just yammers for hours and you just sit there. But this is one of those interesting things about this whole thing between QAnon. It's like, they're just regular ass people.

Fans.

Buying merch, going to a show. Like they treat it as if it's just a show, but it's also this hyper serious call to action. But there's, but the way you're acting is really unserious. So this is this, it's what we saw on January 6th. It's the same concept of like, you believe in this extreme viewpoint. Like this is, you know, if you believe that an actual group of reptilians are in a cabal and they run the secret government, things are fucked up.

are fucked, right? Like things are bad. Yeah. But you still go like buy the shirt. You know, like you still go when you buy the hat. Yeah, you hang out. You hang out. It's not real, but it's $50 for a shirt. Yeah, you're buying the shirt. You're just like hanging out with other people like, yeah, we should do something about that, which is mostly you're just making the next door app like extremely entertaining. Yeah. Yeah. And you're just I just joined the next door app for my neighborhood and it's my favorite

It's so good. I'm a citizen boy myself. Dude, I love Citizen too, but Next to Rap, it's my favorite. People just being like, what's this cloud? Just like a picture of a cloud. What's this cloud doing above my house? Has anyone seen my cats? No, I joined it briefly and it was definitely a lot of like,

There's a cat here. Whose cat is this? Yeah. It's got to be somebody in this neighborhood's cat. Who sent these birds? Well, in 2020, YouTube deleted David Icke's account for saying that COVID-19 was not a virus at all, but actually a consequence of 5G mobile networks, which prevent the human body and blood from absorbing oxygen, which is what doctors were describing in COVID-19 cases. Also,

There was a mysterious Jewish group involved in the whole thing. That was kind of put under like, and also the Jews were behind it. Yeah, that's why COVID killed my Jewish father. Yes. Yes, yes, yes, yes. But the vaccine was made deliberately. You just don't, you just don't.

You just don't fucking get it. I'm so fucking stupid. I'm just so fucking stupid. Little person mind. That's your issue right here. Little me. Low frequency. Little me. Because that's what allows you to be controlled. Because you think you can't do anything about it. Which is why infinite me. You have to be infinite me, my friend. Because oh, that's how you become something else there. Those both look like the same picture. No. One is little. They just look like the same. One is a littler head than the other one.

Yeah, it is. The little me low frequency means that you think you can't change shit. The big infinite me high frequency means that you're outside of the matrix. It's not infinite, though. It's still the size of a head. No. It's quite small, actually. It's quite small. But it's interesting about your head is that it can...

contain the entire universe. Yeah. What's good about the newer book is there are more pictures. No, no, no. The Biggest Secret has even more pictures. The pictures do increase. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah. There's this whole you'll never understand where it says vaccines. Oh, that's why the 3D reality Satanists are obsessed with the blood which carries the human co's. Fourth dimensional reptilians. You're not going to find anything that makes sense. Reptilians are energy vampires.

vampires real near the end blood empire no that's why we can't let it go i want to let it go so bad we really are not allowed buddy unfortunately we're going to be doing this for the rest of the existence of last podcast on the left that's all the show's going to be now unfortunately we're going to have to read more of this i'm done yeah i'm done

Now, to be fair, Ike was nowhere near the only person making this claim, nor was he the first to say it, all the 5G shit. But not too long after, he posited the question of what people were going to do about it. Yep. Conspiracy theorists began setting 5G towers all over England on fire. Not against that. Well, it's more the g-g-g-g-g. If you're going to be fighting the 5Gs, like, it's just...

That's not how you do it. The bad part about it was that they were setting 5G towers on fire. And some of those towers were connected directly to COVID outposts where people were dying of COVID. So those people who couldn't be seen by their families, you know, families were like having to call into people and say goodbye to them like over FaceTime. They couldn't do that anymore because the guys had. Well, they should have escaped the matrix. That's their fucking problem.

because they should have escaped the Matrix and not allowed their blood to kill them. I just hate all the fucking hidden fees that Verizon gives me. We all do. Well, eventually over 50 fires were set in the UK. Countless telecom workers were harassed on a daily basis and an additional 17 more towers were torched in the Netherlands along with incidents in Ireland, Cyprus, and Belgium. People got hurt. Now, even though Ike's ideas have been debunked, dismantled,

dismissed, and ridiculed over and over again the last three decades, there are still fans who believe that in 100 years, humanity will look back positively on David Icke and realize that he was a major historical figure.

While that sounds insane, consider how much conspiracy theory is driving politics, presidential races, insurrections, and quite possibly future revolutions if things go far enough. Framed in that light, Ike fans may be correct after a fashion.

The difference is that David Icke may very well be seen as a major historical figure in 100 years, but will instead be viewed as a super spreader of the thought virus that is conspiracy theory. He is a net negative on human consciousness, a man who has caused so much pain, anger, and hatred that he himself, ironically enough, would make a perfect agent for the reptilian agenda. Yeah!

It is giving wisdom. I find this whole thing aggravating. Also, just understand that reptilians are also AI now. That's the thing. Reptilians are a reflection of a computer virus that goes into the hologram reality. We live in a hologram reality. We might, it might not be like he's saying that he thinks that

Also, the hologram reality might have a computer virus that is the reptilian agenda. And another alien race is actually running the simulation. And the AI and Siri itself is a fucking reptilian. So throw your phone in a lake. He is the one author that is worse than AI. This is like if there was like a case for AI writing. Yeah.

Are you going to go take those books and fucking like burn them out back now? No, these are my, you know, I think it's important much like the haunted Ouija board that is arriving soon. So I'm going to have to make sure we, we label that. We got to talk about it. Cause I don't want that. I don't want that here. But,

I don't want to hear. We're working on it. I got the new Kirk's in there. We're going to work on it. No, we're not going to work. We're not working on it. It's not going to get, it's not going to stay here. You want a haunted weedy board to go to your fucking home. We'll see what happens. No, that's not. We, there is no, we'll see what happens. No, there is no, we'll see what happens. We're going to see what happens. No, we're not. It's going to your house and you deal with it. But these books are all going to be next to it. I might stomp it to death. If you bring it here. You're the atheist.

Yeah. I don't want it. So I'm the perfect person to kill it. We'll see what happens. I spend five days a week here. I feel like it's too much. I'm in here eight hours a day. Maybe you gotta work smarter, not harder. Maybe you don't need to bring cursed objects into our workplace. I mean, sounds like we're gonna have to talk to HR. Yeah, and they're gonna say don't bring haunted objects into the workplace. Nobody is gonna want this. It's my religious beliefs.

And I'm going to sue everyone. I'm going to sue you. I'm going to sue you. Go for it. I'm going to sue the computers. I'm going to sue everyone. But this is... Wow, we've learned nothing. Yeah. But I do think that we have talked a lot about important things. Yeah. I mean, we've definitely talked about how conspiracy thought is fucking eating us away from the inside. And then next week...

I think we're coming back to old-fashioned. We're doing some heavy hitter. Yeah, we're going to do some true crime next week. True, true crime. We're going to do some true... And this year, we got a lot of shit. We got a lot of great topics. We're going back on the road. I'm still excited. I can't even believe we're... You know what it is? Is that I've been reading so much David Icke that I can't believe that it's over so fast. Yeah. I kind of wish... I'm glad it's not longer. Yeah. No, no, no, no. But it happened really fast for me. And then this is it, Henry. Oh, no, it's over. Yeah, this is it. You've been asking for this for years? Yeah.

It's over. You got it? I don't want it anymore. Right now, you're like the dog that caught the car. Yeah, and I'm chewing on it.

I'm sucking in exhaust and it's not fun anymore, but I, you know, it is interesting. It's important to learn. So go out there and, and if you can illegally download his books and read them, that's the way to get it. Patreon.com slash last podcast on the left. If you want to watch us all yell at each other, that's how you do that. And if you want to go on Tik TOK, which is hopefully gone soon, maybe at LP on the left.

Go check that out. And on Instagram. On Instagram for whenever. Hopefully those will be over soon. And then twitch.tv slash LPN TV. So much fun. For all of your stream needs. Brighter Side was great this week. Spun was hilarious. I didn't see Amber shave herself. Her face. She shaved her mustache. It was hilarious. On air. Yeah, it was very, very funny. Incredible. Very, very good.

No Dogs in Space comes out on Monday. When is your new? When are we doing this? Next No Dogs in Space is on April 1st, which is actually going to be our eighth anniversary. Wow. Just so happened. When are you? Do we know? New? When the new series is going to come out? We just wrote the first draft of episode one of Cannes. We're going to be recording it next week.

next week. Very good. So it'll be out. So we're going to make sure we record a few episodes so we're not, you know, making you wait too long between. But yeah, it'll be out soon soon. That sounds wonderful. And now you get the opportunity to come see us on tour. Oh my God. We are so fucking excited. I can't fucking wait. Go to lastpodcastontheleft.com You're going to click tour. Click the date that you want to go to and you're going to buy the tickets now.

to the date you want to go to. That's our North American end. We are also coming back to Australia in August. And I do, we've been getting a lot of messages, your tickets should still be completely good. They are. If you bought tickets. Take the word should out. Yeah, they are good. They are good. If you bought the tickets from a million years ago, they are good. So we are coming, we are going to

See you to completion. Yeah. Denver, Seattle, Washington, DC, Chicago, Boston, LA, and Brooklyn. Those are the cities in America we're hitting this year. I got a good feeling about the Seattle show. Oh, it's going to be, it's a great town. I think they got a good attitude. I feel like we're going to be on fire. Paramount's ready. Paramount's a hell of a theater. It's a beautiful, beautiful live at the Paramount. That album. That's it's the same fucking venue. No shit. Yeah. I'll be fucking jamming that all week. Yeah, man. Oh, oh, by the way, listen to what I did. Uh,

on Brighter's side this week that comes out today as well, we talked about snakes. A little cross promotion. Oh, really? Good work. Hell yeah. Just remember, guys, before you leave today, that we only experience 0.05% of reality. So if you want to get out there and let's just say what's sad is that I never got to see Oprah's tits. But if you imagine them... She's still alive. Yeah. But if you imagine them

It's like you already have. No, who else hasn't? Stedman. Whoa! Hey! I'm literally going to get killed when I walk out of here. Hail Stedman. Okay. Hail the reptile race. Wow, thank you. Because you know what? After all this maligning... Now I believe. I suddenly believe. But after that, I want to talk to the real reptilians and say, we believe you. And I love your eggs, baby. Yeah. Yeah.

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