cover of episode The My Guy Fantasy Football Draft, Plus Adam Sandler and Josh Safdie | With Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck

The My Guy Fantasy Football Draft, Plus Adam Sandler and Josh Safdie | With Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck

2024/8/26
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The Bill Simmons Podcast

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Bill Simmons and his guests, Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck, engage in the third annual My Guy Fantasy Football Draft, discussing various NFL players and their potential for the upcoming season.
  • Garrett Wilson is Danny Kelly's one true love for 2024.
  • Jaden Daniels is Heifetz's risky pick as his one true love.
  • Cooper Kupp is Craig's true love, despite last year's injuries.
  • Marvin Harrison Jr. is Simmons' pick for one true love, with high expectations for his rookie season.

Shownotes Transcript

Coming up, the big 2024 NFL preview week is upon us. We're doing fantasy football today. A little Adam Sandler as well. Let's go. It's the Bill Simmons podcast presented by FanDuel. Football is in full action. FanDuel's highest rated sports book is the best place to bet it all. We've been doing pretty well on million dollar picks this year. I love the first month of the season because you have to go into the season thinking, I

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We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. If you missed the rewatchables on Wednesday night, we put up Rudy. You can watch that as well on our Ringer Movies YouTube channel. Me and Kyle Brandt had a great time. Have another rewatchables coming on Monday night. I'm doing Purple Rain. Yeah. 40 years later. Came out in the summer of 84. And we overused the word iconic, but this is an absolutely iconic 80s movie.

So get ready. Monday night, purple rain. That's happening. On this podcast, what do we got? Well, we got some fantasy football. We're doing the third annual My Guy fantasy football draft with Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, and Craig Horlbeck from the Ringer Fantasy Football Show, which is a great podcast, by the way. And then as a second act, a long interview with Josh Safdie and Adam Sandler because Sandler has a new comedy special coming on Tuesday. It's called Love You.

And we talked about that. We talked about basketball. We talked about movies. We talked about a whole bunch of stuff. So this is a big, fat, meaty podcast. It's all next. First, our friends from Pro Gym. All right. It's the third annual My Guy Fantasy Draft. Our Ringer Fantasy Football Show guys are here. Danny Kelly.

Danny Heifetz, Craig Kohlbeck, who's also in my life as a rewatchables longtime producer. We spent a lot of time together. You guys have been doing pods. How would you rate this fantasy football preview season just in general? Like a B minus, B plus? Where is it, Craig?

I don't know if the preseason's been that exciting, but I think the offseason in general and the hype is really high going into the season because the rookies are so great. The rookie quarterbacks are so good. There's like a whole new crop of guys going in the first round this year, so it's really fun. So refresh. You agree with that, Heifetz? Yeah.

Yeah, I think it's definitely a refresh. You have Brees Hall, you have B. John Robinson, you have a bunch of guys that are kind of like new faces at the top. But to Craig's point, the rookie classes, you have Marvin Harrison is probably going to be the highest drafted rookie of all time. You have all that, like, you know, Jaden Daniels, you have a bunch of rookie quarterbacks. There's a lot of new blood, but then none of the olds have been sunsetted yet.

Yeah, the Ringer Fantasy Football Guide, which we do every year and we have the rankings. And you look at it. And if I had seen this in February, I would have thought like I was on bath salts or something. Danny Kelly, I know you had a big hand in that. What was the most shocking thing in the top 10 or 12 for you? As you just saw the list laid out. We know it's the right list, but it's like for me, it was...

Just Brees Hall? Because I felt like, is Brees Hall the number one? I feel like he is. And then when I actually saw him, we had him pegged with $65 in an auction label. What was the biggest shocker for you? I mean, that's a good one. The fact that we have both Brees Hall and Garrett Wilson in the top 10. A little bit scary. Two Jets. That's a leap of faith, I would say. Even though I love both of those guys a lot. Yeah, we're making a pretty big leap of faith. I think that's like,

you know, the old expression is you can, uh, you can't win your draft in the first round, but you can lose it. Like that's a little bit scary. Um, but I think you also have to have, you know, a healthy amount of, um, ability to take a risk on these guys because they could really, really pay off. Well,

I do feel like there's some sort of weird changing in the guard thing happening. Because the ringer, Brees, Tyreek, McCaffrey, who God knows when he comes back, Bijan, CeeDee Lim, St. Brown, Taylor, Wilson, Gibbs, Jefferson as the top 10. It just feels new and fresh and exciting. And it almost makes me wonder if the inefficiencies are elsewhere. Before we do the My Guy draft, I have an announcement. I do three fantasy leagues.

And now somehow I've been roped into a fourth. I am in a guillotine league. Oh, I got roped in as a partner with a friend of mine. And, uh,

I don't really know what to expect. I'm excited. I'm nervous. So you might be back in three leagues by like week two. Well, that's, that was the appeal. It's like, wait, I could get knocked out right away. Uh, this guillotine thing has really taken off over the past two years. And I think part of the appeal is you might just, it might only be two weeks of your life. I don't mind it. Where do you, I know you guys have talked about it on your, on your pod, but where, where do you say high fits? Where do you stand on the guillotine leaks?

It's fun. I don't have any with my close friends. It's hard enough to explain to them stuff like points per first down. Never mind. Okay, you're just going to get chopped. But I think it's fun. It's kind of like March Madness bracket where you do some and then you're like, all right, well, maybe throw it out after a weekend. And if you're good, you stay in it. It just can't be the only league you do. Otherwise, that sucks if you're just out week five. It has to be like the third or fourth thing you're doing and you focus on your two main leagues. But that can't be the only way you play fantasy football. Yeah, I didn't mind adding it because in my knockout league, the West Coast League,

My longtime buddy, Kevin Hinch, won last year and gets to vote out somebody. And I look like I'm one of the three safe ones, but the actual hilarious move would be for him to vote me out. We've had an American League only keeper team together for 22 years. It would be an absolute steel chair over the head, shocking swerve for me to get voted out. And now I'm starting to get worried. So I thought I'd have a leak. All right. The My Guy fantasy draft. So we have all these dumb categories. This is not an actual draft.

Um, who, who has the first pick in each category? They'll go, but two people can have the same pick. Three people can have the same pick. So we'll just go clockwise and, uh, we'll start with Danny Kelly and then we'll go around. So Danny Craig high fits, and then I'll go forth. First category is my one true love. Every year in fantasy, there's one guy you love the most.

The heart wants what the heart wants. You can't fight it. You go into your draft knowing I need this guy. I'm going to feel better, not just about my team, about my day and my week and my fall. If this guy's on my team, if he's on another team, I'm going to be pissed.

Your one true love for 2024, Danny Kelly, who is it? Oh, God, there's so much pressure. I'm going with, I just mentioned this team. I'm going with Garrett Wilson from the Jets. I just think the combination of talent, like he was my favorite receiver coming out of the draft. I think he's proven that he's one of the best receivers in the NFL, but he's just been stuck with the worst quarterback situation, like maybe in the league for the last couple of years. And so this could be his year. I think obviously Aaron Rodgers is going to feed him

And he's been one of the, he's been a guy who's had one of the lowest catch rates among all the top receivers in the NFL the last couple of years. So I feel like this is his year. Plus he breaks a lot of tackles. So he kind of has that extra boost in addition to getting a ton of volume. Really good player. I'm just going to bet on his talent this year.

Do they keep a stat for most times a guy's life sagged out of his body and he dejectedly looked at the turf after an uncatchable ball? Because, I mean, obviously Devontae Adams was number one last year, but Wilson was probably number two last year and then number one the year before. So he's been...

He's got that. He has that Devontae Adams, like, give me the ball or I'm going to go crazy type of vibe to him, which I like. I think Rodgers is going to absolutely going to feed him or else there's going to be problems. We've already seen them arguing on the sideline a couple of times. I like that, though. That's good. I want that 100 percent. Like they're super, super like just pissed off for greatness. So I don't know. This could be risky. I could regret this, but I really like Garrett Wilson this year. I don't think it's risky at all. Heifetz, what do you think?

I mean, I think this one's risky. My one true love this year is Jaden Daniels, the quarterback for Washington. I think it's a little crazy, but I mean, again, rushing points are worth three times as many as passing points in fantasy. Jaden Daniels is the only quarterback in FBS history to throw for 350 yards and run for 200 in the same game. And you can get them like 95th, depending on where you draft. And I just feel like I'm getting a top five quarterback, 50 spots after the last top five quarterback went. And so I just feel like I'm cheating.

The age piece of it is the big thing with him. Like Drake May is 21. Yeah. Drake May is young. He's a baby. He's basically a little kid. They show him on the sidelines sometimes and he looks like somebody that would come over to watch UFC with my son.

on like a Saturday night. He just looks young. Jaden Daniels, he was in college for 11 years. So I don't know. I'm not as scared off by that. Plus the offense that he's in. Where do you stand on Daniels, Craig? I think I'm the least warm on Daniels compared to the other two guys here. I don't know. Rookie quarterback. I don't think the team's going to be that good. I think the injury risk is kind of high with him. He's kind of a chaotic runner.

But the upside's there. It's just high risk, high reward. If you're going to draft him, I'd probably get another guy as like a security blanket.

Yeah, Danny Kelly, the things that scare me are the health piece, Washington's offensive line, a skinny guy who runs around, that scares me. And then I don't love their receivers either. Right. So that would be the case against them, right? They just traded away Jahan Dotson too. I don't know. It's tough because I think there's always going to be an injury risk when you have quarterbacks who run, and that's kind of been the deal. They're going to open the fills up to hits, especially in the red zone. But man, he has...

He has really special big playability. He's one of the best deep ball throwers I've seen coming out. Like his deep ball to the sideline, I compared it to like Russell Wilson-esque. He'll just drop it in a bucket. We saw a glimpse of that in the preseason. The other thing is, I'm not like a big Cliff Kingsbury guy, but they run a lot of plays. They like have a high tempo offense. They're going to give him a lot of opportunities to score fantasy points. He could be a terrible passer. He could still be one of the best fantasy quarterbacks in the NFL. But I also think he's a pretty good passer or he could be a pretty good passer.

So I think this is a great pick. Like, go for it. Go for the gusto. He could be, you know, one of the keys to your fantasy season this year. But we don't think he's a top 10 starter, right? Like on... He's fringe. He's fringe. So he's in that range. Yeah. So I think he's like five, six, seven bucks and maybe he starts for you.

Basically, it's supply and demand. So again, first of all, he doesn't have to be top 10, top 20, anything in real life for him to be incredible in fantasy. Justin Fields got booted out of Chicago, but he was still top five fantasy every week he played. For Jaden Daniels, it's just the supply and demand of the highest upside quarterbacks are always going to be Russian quarterbacks. And once you lose Jalen Hurts and Lamar Jackson and Josh Allen and Anthony Richardson at the top. And then at that point, it's like who could run for double digit touchdowns? It's Kyler Murray. It's Jaden Daniels.

Caleb Williams fields if he plays. That's really the argument is that Jaden Daniels, the last week one starter who could run for a crazy, silly amount of rushing stuff from the quarterback position. So I think that he goes above the next tier of pocket passers because there's so many Jared Goffs and Trevor Lawrence's and stuff, but there's only one Jaden Daniels.

There's a red zone piece to him too. That would make him super fun when they're like, let's go to Washington. And he's just running for 58 yards. You gave him, you guys do this where you do the tears.

We did it on the guide and he got his own tear, which is always funny when that happens where it's like, we don't know what this guy is. Like he's just going to be here. There's nobody else who could be next to him. But in our guide, he's ahead of Purdy and Burrow and Caleb Williams and the corpse of Trevor Lawrence. Good luck to anybody who takes him. Kirk Cousin in his one leg and Jared Goff, who just continues to be underrated in fantasy drafts. Craig, who's your true love this year? Cooper Cupp.

Oh, you guys are back. We're so back. The vibes in L.A. are great. Chargers and Rams. Football's back in L.A. I just everyone's backed off Cup because of last year, which I get, I guess. He was super banged up, though. And it seems like the mantle was passed to Puka Nuku. Everybody just decided that. But things are actually, I think, switched this year where last year Cup was hurt the entire offseason. Now Puka Nuku has been hurt the entire season and Cup is healthy.

And although it didn't really feel like it, but last year when Cup got relatively healthy over the second half of the season, Cup and Nakua were both top 10 guys in fantasy. And I think we're going to see that version of Cup. Like, I think he's all the way back. We did this with Keenan Allen last year where he got hurt the year before. Everybody was like, oh, Keenan Allen's old now. He's 31. It's over. He's washed. And then Keenan Allen came in last year and had the best year of his career. So I don't know if Cup's going to have the best year of his career because that's a pretty high mark.

but he's 31. He's not 36. He's a health nut. And you can now get him in the third or fourth round, which is insane. I like the Puka being banged up piece to that too. Yeah. It just feels like they switch bodies. It's like a, like a two thousands horror movie. My guy, you guys don't know who my guy is. I've been like deliberately holding back on my fantasy opinions to make this pod more fun. My one true love is Marvin Harrison jr. Oh,

The on ESPN, the highest drafted rookie wide receiver in 20 years. So there's been a lot of hype, but I went back and I looked at the fantasy points for, you know, like the best six modern rookie fantasy receivers ever, which was Moss, like 232 points, Jamar Chase, 223.

Danny's guy Beckham. Those were great times, right? Danny, the, uh, the, the 202 point Odell Beckham jr. Fantasy season on the giants. It was like a hundred years ago. And Quan Bolden. What a riot that caused that he wasn't even drafted that year. And it was like one of those free agent auctions where I forget what he went for. Justin Jefferson, one 82 and Nakua last year, one 72. So the question for me is, can he have a better season than Nakua? I think he can.

Can he be in that Moss Chase area? I think he can. Is he on the right team? I think he is. Is he on a team that they're going to be behind a few times and have to throw the ball a lot? I think he will be. And I'm just all in. As you know, I love reading the preseason articles and then overreacting. Famously last year with Kenny Pickett,

which I think we talked about on last year's pod when somebody was comparing his coolness to Joe Montana. He looked good, though, didn't he? That didn't happen. He looked good, though. It turned out he did have some stuff in common with Joe Montana. They both had a head and two arms and two legs, and that's about where it ended.

but the Marvin Harrison, the quotes from the teammates and the coaches are bonkers. Like when the, when guys in the defense on the same team start raving about a wide receiver running back, he kind of knows something's happening, but I just think he's going to absolutely go off. Where do you stand on that one? DK.

I mean, I think the only problem I have with him is he's priced really, really highly right now. But I mean, otherwise, like in a vacuum, I agree wholeheartedly. You know, this is one of my favorite receiver prospects in the last decade. And he went to a team with a good quarterback who is going to feed him the rock. So like there's a lot to like. I think it's just you have to pay up to get it. So are we getting him at his floor? Are we getting him in a ceiling? Yeah, you're basically getting him like in drafts right now. He's going right around Garrett Wilson.

which is just pretty steep. He basically has no room for error. But everything you mapped out, I think, is 100% correct. You're just going to have to pay for it. Fantasy guy that we had, it had him at 32. Yeah, we have him a little lower. It had him below Drake London, Olave, and DJ Moore, and there's just no way he's going behind those guys because it's more fun to take Marvin Harrison Jr. Where do you stand, Heifetz? It's exactly what DK said about the price point where I agree with everything you said, Bill. I think the question is if you have to take Marvin Harrison Jr. 15th,

That would be too rich for my blood. If it's in the 30s, then like, yeah, I mean, hop on the ride.

So you're talking booger eater drafts, not auctions? Well, I'm just trying to bring it to where the people are. It's like, how much money would you have to spend on Marvin Harrison Jr.? I have to connect with the booger eaters. Auction standpoint, I think he's low 30s. That's just where he's going to end up. But maybe even mid 30s if two guys start getting possessive about him. I'll say this. I think I might have even said this on a previous pod, but I stand by the Drake May pick.

I'm really glad we have him, but there's going to be some moments this year with Harrison where it's like, oh my God, like we didn't take that guy. And I'm super nervous about a buyer's remorse. Okay. Next category, my crazy pills guy. So this could go one way or the other. You're just seeing somebody a certain way and you either love this person and don't understand why everybody else doesn't love him or everybody else loves him. And you're like, what the fuck? Am I taking crazy pills? I don't understand this at all. Hi Fitz, who's your crazy pills guy?

My crazy pills guy, it's Rishi Rice for Kansas City. I know Craig came on here, I think a couple weeks ago, talked about Rishi Rice, but Rice is basically ranked like he's getting suspended. And Rishi Rice is probably not going to get suspended. And so he's one of the best values in drafts this year, like by far. He was at the final month of last season. He was like a top six receiver down the stretch. And you're going to be able to get him as like the 26th receiver. It's one of the best value probably in years.

So we don't think he's going to get suspended? No, I don't think he will. No, I am. I am not a lawyer, but he probably won't get suspended. You're not a lawyer? Fuck. Yeah. Okay. Who do you have for your crazy pills guy, Craig?

I don't know why everybody isn't in on Josh Palmer with me, the receiver on the Chargers. This is a good one. I love this guy. You'd love him. If something happens to Josh Palmer, people will be emailing you like it's your brother. All of my eggs are in Josh Palmer's basket. I just don't get it. He's the number one wide receiver for Justin Herbert. I just talked about how great Keenan was last year on the Chargers.

He's gone. Mike Williams is gone. There's nobody else. They have a rookie, Ladd McConkie, who was hurt all training camp. That's basically it. They have a bunch of busts or vets. Josh Palmer last year was on pace for 1,000 yards with Keenan Allen. He's good. I don't know. We're all just refusing to acknowledge that Josh Palmer is a competent football player. And it's like, whatever. The Chargers are going to run a lot. That's fine. Josh Palmer, I still think, is going to put up 1,000 yards on the Chargers with Herbert.

We're treating the Chargers like they're Navy. Like they're not going to throw the ball. They're going to throw the ball 10 times a game. All right. My crazy pills guy, CJ Stroud. And even like I brought this up to Craig when we were just talking about stuff and Craig was like, well, he doesn't run and just was like shitting on him. You guys have him seventh, like at the $11 range. I'm just going to point out some CJ Stroud stuff.

3,500 yards passing his first 12 games. And I think Tank Dell got hurt during those first 12 games. So it was basically just him and Nico Collins and a bunch of, you know, replacement dudes. He finished with 4,100 yards and 23 TDs in 15 games.

He's got a loaded wide receiver crew now because Dell's back, Diggs is back. Second year in the league. The offensive coordinator stayed, which was huge for them. The line's a little bit better. I'm just in on the Texans in general. And the only reason not to like him as a top five fantasy guy is he doesn't run. But if he leads the league in passing, which is 7-1 on FanDuel, so that's like 47, let's say 4,700 yards and 34 touchdowns.

I think that's realistic if he doesn't get hurt. And if he does that, he's a top five. He should be like a 16 to $25 QB. Danny, where's my case fall apart there?

I mean, it doesn't really fall apart. Really, the only non-running quarterback we have above him is Patrick Mahomes. That's the thing. It's like, I guess you could put him ahead of Mahomes if you're really that bullish, and I wouldn't be outraged if you did that. There was a play in the preseason where Stroud dropped back. He was in the end zone, like in his own end zone. There's pressure coming in, and just...

Cool as can be goes through his progressions finds a guy in the middle field for like a 25 30 yard gain And I was like, oh my god, he might actually just be the best quarterback in the league right now He's so good. I'm so excited about him the Stefan digs thing while it might be like something It might be like a chemistry risk like he could absolutely elevate that offense There's still meat on the bone in terms of their pass rate. They could they could pass more this year They they kind of ran a lot

on early downs last season. So there's a lot of things that could go right for him and he could end up being, you know, a top five quarterback, especially if some of these other guys that are running quarterbacks get hurt. So I, you know, I really like Stroud. I just think it's a matter of he's just really not going to run. He's not going to score touchdowns on the ground. I have three guys ahead of him or I have him ahead of three guys, which are in the ringer fantasy guide. You have Richardson fifth.

I don't see that one at all. Like at all. Good luck to somebody else. I just, if you're telling me he's a safer bet than CJ Stroud, I think that's crazy. Lamar, who we have third, worst offensive line. He's been injured. Like basically every other season he gets hurt. I just would be super nervous paying big money for him.

And then I kind of just want to see it from Kyla Murray. I know I just made the case for Harrison, but I just wouldn't take Kyla Murray over C.J. Stroud. So those would be my three. What were you going to say before? Well, basically, there is no hole in your case for C.J. Stroud. The problem is everyone agrees with you. I would passionately argue C.J. Stroud is the most

popular player in the NFL by just approval rating. I think we're at the point where more people dislike Patrick Mahomes than people who dislike CJ Stroud. I've never met anyone who thinks anything other than CJ Stroud is an awesome football player and he's an awesome guy. And he's the guy that when he's in that auction draft, there's just $10, $15 of goodwill that just go up because people want CJ Stroud on their team. So the reason we have him a little lower is that

There's not really any way to get CJ Stroud as a value. I don't think it's possible to get him at a good price or at a good position. You have to pay this premium of you want the most popular guy in the league. Who is the highest approval rating, guys? Craig, you believe that high fits case? Because I'm trying to come up with a counter and...

Is it because he had a Josh Allen? Everybody loves Josh Allen. Yeah, but the thing about Josh Allen is Josh Allen seems really cool, but he's not really in front of the camera a lot. You don't really see a lot of him. Stroud has been on a media tour since he came in the NFL. He had a podcast with Michael Parsons. He's very comfortable being on camera doing a podcast. So I think he's putting himself in front of people way more than people like Josh Allen or Lamar or Jalen Hurts are. Yeah, I like CJ Stroud. I'm in with that one. All right, Danny Kelly, you're up.

James Cook for the Bills. He's been kind of a guy that no one's talked about at all this preseason. And I'm just like, I might be the only person who thinks he's good anymore at this point. Like he rushed for a hundred. He rushed for 1100 yards last year. He had the 10th most touches among all running backs. And he got better as the year go on, especially as the year went on, especially after Joe Brady took over as the offensive coordinator from week 11 on after Joe Brady took over play calling for them. He was the RB 11 in that stretch.

And they got rid of Stefan Diggs. And he's going to be, I think, an even bigger focal point in this offense.

How many rushing touchdowns did he have? See, that's the problem. He didn't score a lot of touchdowns, but touchdowns are a volatile stat. You know what I mean? He doesn't get a lot of goal line looks. That's very true. He did drop a couple of touchdowns, which hopefully he won't do that again. And I can understand why people might be annoyed by that. But I don't know. He's an explosive guy. He's super efficient. 5.6 yards per touch. That's fifth best among running backs last year. And he did all that with like a 50% snap rate. So he's not even like...

you know, he has, there's meat on the bone for him to go up and snap rate and, and like get more touches, get more opportunities in the goal in the red zone. He's not going to get very many goal line looks. And that's why he's priced where he is. But I still think he's like one of the better just running backs in the NFL, like just explosiveness and elusiveness.

Well, I'll tell you this. He was my backup crazy pills guy. There we go. I love James Cook last year. James Cook hit so many overs on pass receiving and pass rushing or just rushing or like he was probably what one of the four best running backs in the league the last two months of the season. And it just seems they've moved their team toward running the ball, ball control, two tight ends. Yeah.

move the ball down the field, use Josh's legs. And it seems like he would be the beneficiary of that. It's almost like, it seems so obvious that he should be awesome in fantasy that the fact that people aren't in on it makes me nervous.

I'm like, what am I missing? Are there more Buffalo Bills running backs I don't know about? I mean, they like this rookie, Ray Davis. But yeah, I mean, I think it's purely what Craig said. He's getting sniped for goal line stuff by Josh Allen. It's like Josh Allen's the guy. And that's fair. That's definitely fair. I'm not saying he should be the number one running back. I just think people don't talk about him hardly ever. It's just kind of bizarre. Yeah, I'm in on James. I love James Cook as well. All right, one more before we go to break. Craig, I absolutely hate myself for doing this guy. Who is it?

Kyle Pitts. So the story of this category is...

The draft's going along. You've told yourself in your head, I don't want this fucking guy. He's never going to be on my team. I'm not ending up with him. And then the auction's going and it's like seven bucks and it's stopping there for 10 seconds. You're like, oh no, I can't let so-and-so have him for, I'll bid eight. And then all of a sudden you're stuck with him and then you're furious. Yeah. I'm like the old grizzled detective who's getting like drawn back into one last job. Like that is how I feel with Kyle Pitts. I just think maybe.

Maybe this is also crazy. It's a crazy pills guy for me. I get it. He's been a fucking disaster every year of his career, I guess, except the rookie season. But like last year, right? Kyle Pitts was coming into the season. He was less than a year removed from tearing his knee. Desmond Ritter was going to be his quarterback.

And they had Johnnie Smith, another good tight end in the mix with him. All right. So that was all that was the situation heading into last year. Well, and Arthur Smith as the coach. Sure. And he was getting and he was going in rounds five or six of drafts. This year now, heading to this year, he's now two years removed from his torn knee. Kirk Cousins is now his quarterback. He has basically the Rams coaching staff as his coaches now. And he's got a solid backup quarterback. And Michael Penix was a top 10 pick.

This year, he's still going the exact same spot, rounds five or six. Like, I just, I actually don't understand that at all. I think he should go lower. People are embarrassed to take him. That's the thing. Yeah. You know who's embarrassed? The people who spent $29 on him in an auction draft two years ago, like me. I just see him and I turn the other way. I'm just terrified of him.

Craig's like McConaughey in True Detective. You've got your storage unit with all the string and the board. Yeah, yeah, yeah. The argument, though, the part where I'm a little like I kind of want to join Craig on this on this new case with Kyle Pitts is Bill, you know how the 49ers drafted Ricky Parasol, the receiver out of Florida. Kyle Pitts came out of Florida. Ricky Parasol is older than Kyle Pitts. Like they're like a first round receiver in this year's draft is from the same college is.

is older than Kyle Pitts, who had 1,000 yards in the NFL three years ago. So the idea of giving up on someone who's younger than three first-rounders in this year's draft, I think that is the one thing. You can't give up on someone who's 23. He's so young. You know what he's going to be? This is going to be his 2022 Andrew Wiggins year. It just took some time. He needed to find the right home. I guess when I watch him play, I always feel like he's just a giant receiver that they're trying to pretend...

It's a tight end and they, it doesn't seem like they've ever figured out how to actually use them. That's a good draft rule. It's like at anyone who's a tweener in the NFL draft, it kind of like that's, that just means they haven't figured it out yet. Yeah, it's true. Uh, my guy, my, I absolutely hate myself for doing this guy's Devante Adams because I think he's going to have a big discount price on him. I don't think anyone wants to take him. Uh, he is the logical guy to, to just,

either stop playing or get hurt because his quarterback, you know, sent some ball over the middle of the day to jump for and he got nailed by safety. He's going to be in trade rumors the moment they start out 0-3 or 1-4. And

As you're watching it and as he becomes super cheap and you start talking to yourself, well, he might be on the Jets by week six, 18 bucks. Why not? And then you're stuck with this 32 year old unhappy guy who has the worst quarterbacks in the league and might not actually get traded. So DK, unless you have anything else to add, you're up. Yeah, I agree with all that. My guy this year, I kind of interpreted this as I hate that I'm actually going to be talking up this guy, but basically it's Taysom Hill.

Again, we're running it back. We're running it back. What year is this? I know. Guess what? He had four touchdowns last year, 400 yards rushing. Same number of rushing touchdowns as Bijan Robinson, who's going top three. One fewer rushing touchdown than Brees Hall, who's going top three. He also had 33 catches, which is more than a lot of the top. He had more catches than Kyron Williams. He's basically a running back.

playing tight end, who is the primary goal line slash red zone player for the Saints. And he could have an even bigger role this season. Kendrick Miller can't stay healthy. The coach can't stop telling everybody that will listen that Kendrick Miller sucks and he can't stay healthy. This is like the number two running back and the goal line specialist for the Saints. And you can get him with your last pick. I just got him in an auction league draft for $1. And I think he's going to be useful this year. I'm not saying he's going to be like a top

tight end. $1. Yeah, it's just basically, look, they love him still, and he's probably their second best running back. And he's, by the way, probably going to throw a

like a touchdown or two. He's going to line up at receiver. He just basically used all over the formation. This is a new offense in New Orleans. I can't believe I'm doing this again. I hate myself. Are you saying like take him last in your draft? Yes. Last round? Yeah. But I just hate that I'm even talking about him. Me too. He does have like the two weeks of season when he just puts up like 25 points. Yeah. And you're like, why did I lose? Oh, because Taysom Hill threw for a touchdown and had two touchdown runs. Who's your guy, Heifetz?

I absolutely hate myself for doing this guy is Tony Pollard the running back from the Titans we came on this show last year and we all were like we love Tony Pollard and I want to get to my better instincts and Tony Pollard broke his leg in January last year and then by August we were like he's fine

And so, yeah, he was not a good pick as a top 15 pick last year. Tony Pollard, that was actually healthy and is going like 90th in drafts. He's probably like a $5 running back bill in the drafts you do with your friends. And Tony Pollard,

Like, all right, he went from the Cowboys to the Titans. That shouldn't be like a $50 difference in a fantasy draft. But that's basically it. I'm getting back on the roller coaster. I feel like an idiot. But it reminds me of what we were saying about pits where just people feel silly for doing this again. But Tony Pollard, I can't remember as big of a swing on a player in one year where if you look at what went wrong, it doesn't make any sense. It's like Tony Pollard, last year he wasn't healthy. Now he's healthy and he's going even later than he was entering the 2022 season.

I remember I heard a podcast last year where somebody said, I think Tony Pollard should be the first pick in the draft. Oh, it was Craig on this podcast. Whatever. He looked like one of the best running backs I'd ever seen the year before. What if you're trying to unravel what happened with that?

It does. And I worry about that. This with Kyron Williams to these guys that the change of pace guys who they end up with like, you know, 175 carries and, you know, it's almost like, like basketball players that can come in and come off the bench and play for like 23 minutes. And they're awesome. Yeah. If you need them to play 40 minutes, it's, it's all of a sudden a different equation. I do wonder if that was a piece of this. Okay. We are just getting started. We're going to take a break and come back with one of my favorite categories next.

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Where there's just entire teams become D and D's. I will give you for possibilities, the Carolina Panthers, my own beloved new England Patriots, the New York football giants, and any other team you want to throw in, uh, Dan Kelly, uh,

Who is your I'm staying away from this entire team team? The Panthers. I don't want anything to do with Deontay Johnson, not only because he's on the Panthers, but he's just an annoying player to have on your fantasy team. He's hurt three times a game, taken off on a cart. He's always back. Oh, okay. It's just an emotional rollercoaster I don't want to take part in.

And he'll miss a block that they'll show on Red Zone of his running back got hurt because Deontay Johnson didn't stand up in time on a play or something. Exactly. I'm not interested in Bryce Young. Chuba Hubbard is going to be the starter for half the year probably, but then who knows when Jonathan Brooks comes back. There's just nothing really to like too much about this offense going into this fantasy season, even though they're probably going to improve a little. I just don't want to have anything to do with it. I'm not betting on the Panthers. Hi, Fitz.

I think the easy one is to say the Patriots. But I think everyone knows the Patriots are going to be bad. Honestly, I will go off the board and I'm going to say the Cincinnati Bengals. Okay. And again, and I'm saying it because again, it's easy to say like one team will be so bad. Like the Patriots, look, they're projected for like the fewest points in the entire league this season. But

They're projected that way. My concern with the Bengals is just I'm concerned about Joe Burrow's wrists. And I like again, he has this unprecedented wrist injury for a quarterback. And everyone's just like, yeah, this unprecedented wrist injury, the recovery is going to be totally normal. And I'm like, yeah, I'm going to let someone else figure that out. Like the Bengals are a better team. The NFL is a better league when Joe Burrow is healthy and the Bengals are awesome.

I'm just really concerned. And there's no injury discount. Like Jamar Chase is being drafted fifth, sixth. Like it's not even happening. So 50, you know, maybe a $60 receiver and people are acting like it's not happening. I would love to be in on T Higgins this year in a contract year, but I just looked at since Joe Burrow is being taken, like right after CJ Stroud is like the seventh quarterback. And I just look and I'm like, where is it being factored in that he has this unprecedented opportunity?

wrist injury that he can't throw three days in a row at training camp. And I just look and I just don't see that being factored in. And so at cost, yeah, I'm out on Cincinnati this year. I just, I feel like I'm, I feel like I'm taking crazy pills in this one too. I like the way you put that. Has he practiced three days in a row yet? He's thrown a ball three days in a row training camp one time in 25 days of August.

So he did it. He did it. Yeah, he did. We did it. I like the way you put that with the actual cost of the Bengals isn't remotely worth what in there. Craig's shaking his head sadly. Usually there's one team that I have here, but I really, there will be no Panthers or Patriots on my fantasy football team in any of them for any reason. I can't,

unless you're in like a dynasty league or like some sort of keeper league and you want to grab Drake may, because two years from now, he might be awesome. Uh,

I just don't see it. And then Carolina, I can't, I just can't think of anything worse. Like we said that last year, that was the team we targeted for this and we were correct. Yeah. Thielen had a couple, he had a couple of weeks where it was like, ah, maybe he could potentially be your third receiver during a bye week, but they were, uh, they're pretty awful. Craig, do you have any zags on this? Are you back in the crew? I'm with you. It's the Patriots for me.

Why did you say it so sadly? Look, I don't even think the Patriots necessarily want to be good this year. No, they don't. Yeah. So no shame. Once Barmore got hurt, that was it for the Patriots season. Then all of a sudden Judon's getting traded. And yeah, that's it. Okay. Danny. I think I know who this is going to be, but my shameless Homer pick where we have a guy on our own team that you just shamelessly overrate or love or just want.

I don't even need to guess who this is for you, but go ahead. Oh, you probably think it's going to be DK Metcalf, don't you? I was going to say Kenneth Walker of the Seahawks running back, who I think is like top four or five pure running backs in the NFL. That's me being a shameless homer. I thought 100% this is going to be Kenneth Walker. Oh, okay, cool. And I know what Heifetz's pick is going to be.

Craig, I'm not, I don't trust Craig. He might zag on me, but the two Dannys, I knew for sure. I want to give you my quick Seahawks pitch for why they're going to outplay their ADPs. All the Seahawks players are going to outplay their ADPs in fantasy this year. And it is because they're going to run more plays. Pure and simple. They were the dead last in the NFL last year in plays. Their time of possession margin. So they had a six minute difference between their offense and opponent offense last year. And it was like,

twice as much as the 31st ranked team, which was the Patriots, by the way. Is that because your coach was old? Like, what are the reasons for that? It was literally because they couldn't stop the run. Opposing teams would just run the ball and then get a bunch of first downs. Seattle's opponents had the most first down running...

rushing first downs in the league last year. So they would just like... I think Pete Carroll just loved playing defense. They would... Yeah. He just wanted to see the defense out there. I love those guys. They would just squeeze the life out of the Seahawks offense. Seahawks offense was efficient. They were 12th in DVOA and they were 12th in, I think it was like yards per play and points per drive. So it was like

This was a top, like, third offense in the NFL efficiency-wise, but they just could not run enough plays because the defense couldn't get off the field. And I think that's going to change big time this year. I think Mike McDonald will make their defense at least respectable, and that will get the offense. Does Byron Murphy have a nickname yet? Oh, I don't think so. Not that I know of. He kind of needs one. I think he's going to be a badass. Oh, he looks great. In the limited snaps and preseason, he's, like, really, really disruptive. Like the Wolverine, Byron Murphy. I don't know what it would be. I like that.

High fits. Just go. We know it. We know your take. Well, I'm a huge Giants fan. So obviously I'm really pumped about Wanda Robinson at the end of the season. Now, Malik Davis, he's the second coming of Adele Beckham. It's as Craig said, it was so long ago. Ten years ago was Adele Beckham. Malik Davis. He checks every box. It's the same size that Shamar Chase, the LSU lineage. He continues the crazy run of LSU series in the NFL. There's

Look, everyone knows, but he's got this deep speed. He'd be in that short list of guys who could win a game of tag if all the players played tag. He could do anything, get open deep and short. And also, he has my favorite quality in NFL receivers, which is he doesn't have a case on his iPhone, which to me, I think that's necessary to be an alpha receiver in the NFL these days. Confidence. Yeah, I don't trust any receivers with outer boxes on their iPhone. Yeah, I'm all in the neighbors, and I think that's...

I couldn't, I don't think I've been more excited for an, like a Giants player since Odell, including Saquon Barkley. Doesn't have a case. So that means he's unafraid. Arrogant hands. Yeah. If a receiver is dropping his phone all the time, I don't like that. We have him in our ringer guide. We have him 56th for, uh, for overall and for, for the actual receiver spot.

He has Tank Dell over him. Diggs. I am obviously higher on him. Devonta Smith. I would take him over those guys. I think I'm bringing him down because I'm not that in. Do you know who his quarterback is? Well, it doesn't matter. I don't want to die on the Giants. Does that mean I don't need to do that? There's a feast or famine thing with him, though, because he's going to have some weeks where it's like one catch for 13 yards and then he's going to have like the 80 yard touchdown or the reverse or whatever. So, OK, yeah.

Sadly, I'm up with my shameless homer pick on a team where I don't want any of their fantasy guys. I do really like everything I've read, watched, seen from Jalen Polk. And I think he has a chance, especially in the second half of the season.

where if they end up trading Kendrick board and like week six to a team that needs a receiver, I, I really do think he could have some like seven for 98 for a hundred. I wouldn't spend more than a dollar on them. I wouldn't take them, you know, it'd be the tail end of the draft, but he's the real deal. I think he's the best receiver. They've probably drafted since Edelman who wasn't even a receiver right away, but he's just, he's checked every box so far and really seems talented. Craig, what do you got?

I have to go with George Pickens. I love George Pickens. Again, you guys are back. Yeah. He's the most exciting Steelers receiver since Antonio Brown. And he's the perfect Steelers receiver because he's super talented and he's always pissed. Yeah. It's a long lineage. He has the most highlights that actually end up not being real catches. That dude has the most catches ever that are just out of bounds but would be incredible if he had one more blade of grass in play.

I don't know. I mean, look, he had Kenny Pickett and Matt Canada for the first two years of his career. Regardless of what you think about Russell Wilson or Justin Fields or Arthur Smith, this is an undeniable huge upgrade. So I have to be into him. I wish Fields' preseason had been a little better. I wish the entire Steelers' preseason had been better. I wish I saw one thing I liked from anything that happened this month. Bill, we figured out the preseason. It took us however many years of doing our show. The preseason is the driving range.

And the problem with Kenny Pickett last year was he had an incredible range session and then was terrible. But when you're bad on the range, then you have a good round.

Interesting. Yeah. He didn't love it. He didn't. No, I just, I don't know if there's no positives coming from the Steelers. That's that Wilson Fields battle is one of the all time atrocities. It's bad. It really is just like Wilson died two years ago as a starting quarterback and fields were trying to make happen. He's going to be 35. We're like, here it comes. It's the year new category. I didn't tell you guys about because there's only one answer for it.

The Veal Chop guy, my Veal Chop guy for this year, it's a special A chain. You guys have talked about it on your pod. Every year there's the hit or miss guy that you feel like if you miss out on, you're just gonna have deep regret. But if you take it, you know there's a 50% chance it's probably not gonna work out and it's ruined your draft. And that's how I feel when I order the Veal Chop. You just never know. And sometimes it's amazing,

And then other times it's like my whole dinner is ruined. And also that was $85. DK, make the A-chain case for us. Yeah, I almost put him as my one true love. People that listen to our show know I'm obsessed with Devon A-chain. So last year he finishes the RB4 in points per game, 16 points per game on 42% snaps. He had 11.8 touches per game, 42nd among running backs. If you get him 15 touches a game, he's the RB1 in points per game. I'm just saying that.

And I think that they're going to make a concerted effort to get him more involved in the passing game. We've seen flashes of that in the preseason. But I mean, obviously he's a, his floor is good because even if he doesn't have a lot of volume, he's so efficient. Like he was, he was best in the NFL in yards before contact and yards after contact last year. Like if that gives you an idea. And he was second. He was like if an NBA player shot 40% from half court for the entire season. Yeah.

So, I don't know. I just think he's really, really good and he's in the perfect offense to utilize his strengths and his speed and the way that they manipulate space in that offense is amazing. We've seen him line up wide a couple times. They're hitting him on vertical shots in the preseason. I still think there's just a ton of meat on the bone for him to get more touches. And obviously, the issue and the worry here is he might get hurt. But...

I don't know, man. You had him at $39 and you had him in his own tier. He was another guy. There's nobody else who compares to this dude. Heifetz, would you rather have him or not have him? I think you'd rather have him. You'd rather have 80 bucks. Would you want him as like a $41, $42 guy potentially?

If he's good, it doesn't... Like, if he gets the touches, the price doesn't matter. You're going to want him on your team. And it's not the stock market. It's not something... You're not trying to take small gains. It's like Ricky Bobby, your first or last. And every year, there's like three players, four players that just having taken that player, your odds of making the championship are like 4X. And you're talking about... HN had eight yards to carry last year as a running back. That's like having a quarterback at 15 yards per attempt. And so, yeah, he might not go well. But the problem is if HN does...

have another incredible season. He's even better this year. I don't know how you're going to be able to beat the team that has him. I don't need to ask Craig if he likes A-Chan because you're like Jenny Gump. You're just standing on your hotel room balcony pretending you can fly when you do fantasy. You're like, oh! I want to go for a ride! I want him and Raheem Mostert. Just give me both of them. The combo? Yeah. Okay. Next category. We'll start with Hugh Heifetz.

The my I wouldn't take him even if he was free guy, which is a nice way of saying this is the D&D list. The do not draft list. Who's your number one D&D? I mean, it's Deshaun Watson for the Browns. Not only do you have all this off field stuff with him, but I on the on the field, he's been the worst quarterback in the NFL and he's always hurt and he's hurt again now. So I don't know why. I don't know why I want to say I didn't even know he was eligible for this list because who's excited to draft Deshaun Watson?

Is there anyone in your life who's like, I got a super. Don't tell anyone. It's Deshaun Watson. This is the year. This is it. They're changing outfits for him. He's going to light it up. Well, mine is tied to Deshaun Watson.

Jerry Judy. It's an amalgam of things that I just reject fundamentally with fantasy football. He's never really done it. He's better in name than actual action. He's hurt every year. We have no real evidence that he's a really good receiver and yet there's talent. So people are like, Jerry Judy, watch out. He's on a team with a, with a shit quarterback.

And I wouldn't pay a dollar for him. Like I wouldn't. If he was a dollar, I'm like, I'm out. I don't want to, I'll spend my dollar on Taysom Hill and try to get TE5 for two weeks. Craig, who's your guy? Devin Singletary, the running back on the Giants. Like I just, I can't deal with Daniel Jones. I can't deal with the, he stresses me out. I'm cutting toxic people out of my life and that's the Giants. I'm just not doing it. I'm good. DK, who do you have? How many touches he's going to get?

Craig, mine's a little bit similar because it's just cutting out players that have disappointed me in the past. And this year for me, it's A.J. Dillon of the Packers who's looking like he's going to be the backup slash rotational 1B guy for the Packers offense. To me, he's just the living embodiment of...

the old expression, if you need one yard, I'll get you three yards. If you need five yards, I'll get you three yards. Like if you need seven fantasy points, he'll get you eight. If you need 10, he'll get you eight. Like he's just a roster clogger. He's not going to give you any upside. Um, if you want those eight points, that's fine. But like, you can get that from a hundred other guys. I just don't really, you know, I just don't want that on my team. It's just taking up a spot. I like it. All right. I'm going to lead this next category.

It is the, my, that 2023 booty call ain't happening again. Guy. It's a guy that you had a little fling with in November and December. Didn't expect it. It turned out great. Picked them up maybe off the waiver wire or some dumb trade. You really enjoyed it. And you're probably not going to date him in 2024. Uh, for me, it's Williams on the Rams. I really, I loved how he finished down the stretch. He's being treated as a top 10 receiver. I think he's really good.

I just have real questions like the Rams offensive line. Now their left tackle is going to miss the first two games. There was injury stuff with them anyway. He's got a rookie running back right behind him, who I think we all like, who might steal some carries. And I think he's being treated as last year was the launching pad for him to be a top five or top six running back. And I don't know if he's going to get the carries and I don't know if he's going to stay healthy. He's already had a lot of injuries. So that would be my guy. Who do you have DK?

Jordan Addison, the Vikings receiver. He basically went off last year. He scored 10 touchdowns. But there were a lot of other variables to that play here. Justin Jefferson was hurt. TJ Hawkinson was hurt. He had a 17% target rate. That's really not going to get it done in Fantasyland. And now Justin Jefferson's back. Kirk Cousins is gone. Sam Darnold in this offense could be a little bit better than people expected, but I don't think it's going to be what we saw with Kirk Cousins. So I just don't think

He basically got by on scoring a lot of touchdowns. I just don't think that's going to happen again. Hi, Fitz. Joe Flacco. You know, Joe Flacco was the number two fantasy quarterback in December last year. The only person who had more fantasy points than Flacco in December was Lamar Jackson. How is he your guy? He's not even starting.

Well, it's the, it's the, he's not happening. It's a booty call. No, it's good. Okay. Did you not have any leagues where someone picked him up and you're like, God, what an idiot? I can't believe they're playing Joe Flacco. And then Joe Flacco, like 30 points. And I, and they wrote him and there's people like that one championships. Yeah.

Yeah, he was like, you're right out of college and somebody starts hooking up with like a 42-year-old divorced woman. It's only lasts a couple of weeks, has no chance of ever being long-term. Here's the thing about Joe Flacco. Is it crazy to think he could throw for 2,500 yards this year with Anthony Richardson? He's the backup to Anthony Richardson where 90 things could go wrong with Anthony Richardson, including the fact that he got hurt twice last year. Craig, who do you have?

Zach Moss rocked my world for like five weeks last year. He was great. It'll never happen again. But man, that was a special time when Jonathan Taylor was holding out. Zach Moss was just going fucking crazy. Uh, everybody was scrambling to add him, spending a ton of money and free agency to get him on your team. Yeah.

Now he's on the Bengals. I guess he's the starter. I don't think I wanted anything to do with Zach Moss. I think that was a flash in the pan, but it was a great time. I'll look back on it fondly. It's a good one. All right. Next one, Craig. You're my, hey, look,

somebody's got to get points on that team guy is, is it Josh Palmer? You can double dip if you want. Well, I actually is Josh Palmer, but because I didn't want to pick the same guy, I have to go with Terry McLaurin on the commanders. I mean, they just traded away. Jahan Dotson, their tight ends are Zach Ertz. He's like 43 years old and a rookie Ben Senate. And their other receivers are guys. Most people have never heard of. And I'm like,

Maybe this is the year that Terry McLaurin actually puts up a decent year because the poor guys had the worst quarterbacks in the league for his entire career. And it's kind of just him now more than it's ever been. So if somebody is going to catch passes on this team, it's going to be Terry McLaurin. That's a good one because he is sometimes a jump out of the TV guy. Yeah. And you've always like, you know, he had Sam Howell must've from 4,000 yards last year. I still, I thought that was the stat of the year. I liked that one. What do you have DK?

I got the Broncos backfield, essentially. So right now it's Javante Williams and Jaleel McLaughlin. And I particularly am kind of interested in Jaleel McLaughlin at the end of the draft, like a $1 guy. Sean Payton, in his history, has always had running backs that produce. Last year, I mean, we saw it like that. I think the Broncos had the highest pass rate to running backs of the entire NFL is like 20 something percent.

And now we have a quarterback who loves passing and checking down and taking the, like the easy option, like taking care of the football, distributing it in Bo Nix. I think that the running backs in this offense are going to catch a ton of passes. So especially in half PBR and PBR leagues, um, Jalil McLaughlin is a really interesting sleeper for me. By the way, this is a guy, some buzz for him too, by the way. Yeah. And he's, you know, he started playing with the starters in the preseason, uh,

Low-key, I hadn't realized this until recently, but he was college football's all-time leading rusher. 8,166 yards. Wow. He played for FCS Youngstown State, so obviously caveat there. But supremely, supremely productive player in college. He's just good. I mean, he passed the DI test for me. Really, you know, just...

a droid pass catcher. He just, he looks like he belongs there. Schrager had him as a top 10 breakout guy, which I thought, Schrager's list, sometimes he'll nail like four or five of those. Here's a stat. He was third in half PPR points per snap last year behind Devon A. Chan and Keaton Mitchell. So he got something. Everyone's behind A. Chan in all lists. Yeah. High Feds, who do you have?

Somebody's got to get points to that team. I mean, I think it's Deontay Johnson for the Panthers. I know we're kind of out on the Panthers and I'm not even saying I'm endorsing it, but they got Deontay Johnson in trade because they're going to throw it at Deontay Johnson on like every pass. I mean, I think he's going to get a third of all their completions this year will probably just be to Deontay Johnson. There's like very little competition there. It's disgusting. I don't recommend anyone watching the Carolina Panthers, but if you need a Carolina Panther, I guess you could go with Deontay Johnson.

Mine, we mentioned him earlier, is Malik Neighbors, where if the Giants score 20 touchdowns this year, I feel like he's going to have like 10 of them. But I just wouldn't want anyone else in that team. Okay. Our next category. This is a fun one. I think we're going to have four different responses for this. The, my sorry, that's a little too rich for my blood guy.

So basically as the auctions go in, Tony Pollard was the perfect example of this last year. It's like, I like Tony Pollard. I don't know if I want to spend 53 bucks. Craig's like, I'll go 60. Craig, who do you have for this? We've hit on this, so it's not as fun, but it's Jamar Chase going in like the middle of the first round. I just, I don't think I can spend as much money on Jamar Chase as I am guys like Tyree Kilton, C.D. Lamb because of the burrow thing. I just can't do it.

I agree. DK? I got Kyron Williams. You mentioned him already. At cost, it's just a little bit much. He has a history of foot and ankle injuries. He already had another foot or ankle injury. I can't remember what it was, but that kept him out of the preseason part of the way. And so he's just, he's undersized. He runs really hard and they gave him a ton of carries last year. And I think he's going to lose some of his

his market share in terms of total carries and opportunities this year because they got Blake Corum and I think they want to protect him. So at cost, I think you're paying for like the volume you got last year. And I'm just usually looking past him at that part of the draft. Hi, if that's call me old fashioned, Marvin Harrison Jr. I don't want a rookie as my number one receiver in my fantasy team. Maybe I'm out of touch with the youth, but I'd rather get Blake Neighbors 20 spots later if I have to pick a rookie. That hurts. Fine. Um...

Mine's easy. Jonathan Taylor. This is a good one. Why are you sure he's going to be awesome again? And what are the examples of running backs who were awesome for a little while and then had a super off year, just like immediately turning the switch back on. I kind of want to see it. Also, like, is it going to be harder to run if your quarterback can't complete a pass?

It's also like the it's the Eagles thing where Jalen Hurts steals all the goal line touches like Ray Richardson might be that guy. And he doesn't he doesn't check down as much as some other quarterbacks because he's scrambling instead. You know, he's part of the running game. He's stealing some of the rushing yards from the offense. It is it is an interesting one. It's like it feels like you're buying Taylor at his absolute peak.

Yeah. And our list, he's RB4 and he's 50 bucks. I can promise you I'm not spending 50 bucks on Jonathan Taylor. I'm just telling you right now. Heifetz, who's your $1 QB guy this year?

If you want a dollar QB guy, I feel like Jared Goff, Justin Herbert, Tua, I think any of those. I would start with Goff. I'm curious where you think the dollar quarterbacks begin. I don't think those guys are dollar QBs on paper, but I don't think they would actually go for a dollar, right? Yeah, someone bids them up and then you got to go three bucks to get them. You have to pay three at least. In that case then, honestly, I think that there's so many good quarterbacks and you're going to laugh at me for this in advance. So none. None.

No for no $1 guys. The answer is if there's someone, it's Justin Fields, which is a little insane because I don't think he's going to play to start the season. But the moment anything happens to Russell Wilson again, Justin Fields, even when he's bad in real life, Justin Fields,

I mean, even 2022, Justin Fields was a top six fantasy quarterback. Like in 2023, by points per game, Justin Fields, once he had a bad September, but then he got really going with the best months of his career in October. From October on, Justin Fields was like a top 10 fantasy quarterback points per game. And so with the rushing upside, like he's one of the few guys that can actually get a 30, 35 point performance if he's playing. So Fields is a guy that I don't mind carrying on a bench or just I am on waivers, but a dollar in a league. See what happens to Russ early in the season.

Is it, I'm up next. Is it realistic to say Matt Stafford is a $1 quarterback or no? He's in that area. He's in that golf tier. He's in that three to four range. So I really wanted to say Sam Darnold here and I can't get there because he's Sam Darnold. I had other reasons, but really that was the number one reason. Don't do it. Just on paper, like those receivers and it's like, ah, Sam Darnold, but I'm not going to do it. Um,

I don't mind the Drake May $1 late flyer. Hope he's starting by week five because he really can move and they're going to be behind a lot. And I can see like when we get to like their schedule gets a little easier as we get into the middle part of the season where he might actually be able to put some points. But I don't know. I just think there's upside with it for a buck.

late, late, late, or last pick in the draft just to see what would happen. How many quarterbacks do you hold in your leagues, Bill? Well, you know, I like to take five to seven. I like to load up. You have more quarterbacks than actual NFL teams carry.

Yeah. I like to load up. You never know. Quarterbacks get hurt. You know, I talked to the Atlanta GM about this a lot after he spent 50 million a year on Cousins. It's like, you know what? I got to take number eight on pedics. Never know. Need help there. Craig, who's your $1 guy? Does Geno Smith count? Does he qualify? He might. So maybe we should change this category to my $3 QB. Yeah, maybe. I would do Aaron Rodgers or Geno Smith. Just like late round slash cheap QB. Yeah.

Yeah, that's a better... I should have done that before. So your $3 QB would be Goff, Heifetz? Yeah. I think mine's Stafford. Who's yours, Danny? I went with Justin Fields. It's the Forrest Gump Alabama thing. Like, he might be the worst passing son of a bitch alive, but he sure is fast. He can run, man. He's like one of the fastest players in the league, I think. And like we said, like Heifetz said, the rushing upside is just monumental if he gets in this offense. Honestly, he might play. Like Russell Wilson...

I was a little bit excited about him coming into this preseason, but man, he has looked really bad so far. And it doesn't sound like there's that many good fives going on. So could see Justin Fields play. Who would have guessed that that situation might not have worked out? Craig, who is your, my, I'd be afraid to look on Tuesday and see the red flag guy. Meaning you take the guy deep down, you know, he might get hurt. Then things go well for five weeks.

You're like, I'm so glad I took him. This is great. And then you go on Tuesday, week six, and it's the red flag and the yellow square that there's news. And you're like, oh no. Oh God, what happened? Who is it for you this year? It's got to be Anthony Richardson, right? Like, especially if you're in a, if you're in a league that has two quarterbacks, you got to spend a lot in your auction drafts. Like you got to spend 40, 50, 60 bucks on quarterbacks. You drop 50 bucks on Anthony Richardson, which I might do next weekend in my draft. I'm like, man,

You know, do I think the upside is there where he could have a Cam Newton-esque season where he runs for 15 touchdowns and throws for 25? Yes. He showed it a little bit in his rookie year. He had four touchdowns in four games. He looked awesome.

But he just needs to stop lowering his head into like three linebackers. He's like those, remember, it's like those outfielders who just like sprint into the back fence as fast as they can. There was an Oakland A growing up. Eric Burns used to do that. He would like dislocate his shoulder every three months because he was sprinting into the wall. And I do feel like Anthony Richardson needs to learn how to slide a little bit. But yeah.

I mean, that was the Larry Bird problem way back. He would be like flying into the scores table trying to save some loose balls. Too much hustle. Who do you have, DK? I have JK Dobbins. I want to believe. And honestly, it wouldn't surprise me if he had like 115 yards and three touchdowns in week one. And we're like, oh, God, this guy is going to be, you know, the greatest value in fantasy football. But then by week three, he's like banged up and hurt. And you're like, oh, well, that was fun. Yeah.

I don't know. I'm excited to see if he can be the starter for the Chargers, but I'm very worried about, obviously, the long laundry list of injuries that he's had in his career. He also has...

About as much confidence as anybody's ever had who had a major injury and hasn't really done that much, but talks like he's, you know, Walter Payton. Jamal Adams and J.K. Dobbins. Yeah, that's the irrational confidence all-stars right there. Don't go after these guys on Twitter. Don't go after them anywhere. They'll find you. Right. They might find this clip right now and be like, what? What'd you say? Hi, Fitz. Who do you have?

I think Craig's on to something with Anthony Richardson. And the other one, I think you got to throw us Christian McCaffrey just because he's got the calf injury missing the preseason. If you're taking Christian McCaffrey first or second or third or whatever, obviously it's because you think, yeah, whatever, he'll be fine. And then if the injury thing bumps up week three and you're like, oh, calf, huh? Okay. I've made a huge mistake. Yeah, exactly. We should have talked about him sooner than an hour into this podcast, but I'm so scared to take that dude.

Especially like the calf hamstring. Like we've just seen it with the running backs. It's like, oh, there's been red flag goes up. There's been a setback. He stopped full contact practicing because there's some soreness. He's going to take a day off. There's nothing worse. And he can't. I disagree. Go ahead.

No, DK and I disagree because I'm basically like, I don't want my first round pick to have a calf injury in August. And DK's like, you're a worrywart. And I want my first round pick to have scored 100 more points than the second place running back last year. We're like the only rankings that don't have McCaffrey number one overall. I do for the record. So if he gets hurt, sorry.

Craig, it's weird that you're not Jenny Gumping that one. Just climbing right on the balcony again. McCaffrey! No, no. I don't mess with preseason injuries. They freak me out. And McCaffrey's such a maniac. He's going to push himself to play. They should sit him for a week. And Shanahan. Yeah. So I had McCaffrey. I think Debo is just grandfathered into this category every year because every year the red flag pops up. You just know when you draft him, it's going to happen. But my guy this year is Nick Chubb because as we get closer to the season...

I, I've always loved Nick Chubb. I mean, he's been one of my all time, my guys forever. And, uh, and I can see myself talking myself into him and being like, I'll spend $8 on Jerome Ford. It's a stopgap starter until Nick's ready. And then Nick will be ready week four. And then he's going to be first name basis. We call it, you know, we're first name with each other. The Nick, Nick carries me in November and I win the title. And I just, I,

That injury was so bad. It's just like, why, why talk yourself into somebody recovering from a complete total reconstructive knee surgery? And it's the second one on the same knee. Yeah. I heard it a while ago. All right. One more break. And then we have some fun categories.

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and more time growing your business. That's pretty smart. Head over to amazonbusiness.com and see what smart business buying is all about. All right, Danny Kelly, you're my, I know there's a 99% chance he's getting hurt again, but goddamn, I can't resist this guy, guy. Who is it? James Conner, running back for the Cardinals. Every year he'll miss a few games, granted. It's just kind of, you have to, it's baked into his price, but

I think he's still got it. I think he's a really good running back. Like he passes the eye test for me. People, you know, maybe complain that he's not the fastest guy, but he breaks a ton of tackles. He has a ton of yards after the catch. In fact, he was only Christian McCaffrey, Derek Henry, and Isaiah Pacheco had more yards after contact last year than him. He was third and missed tackles for. So he's going to be the bell cow guy in this offense next year. They showed a ton of trust in him. I think this offense is going to be a lot better than it was last year. And I don't know.

I don't know. I'm just taking the value on James Conner every year. I feel like I'm the only one still just scooping up Conner every season and he always just produces at least what he's on the field. Yeah, I don't think I've ever had him and I'm always jealous because it just seems like he just has these four week ones where he's just ripping off points. Do you have high fits? DK just mentioned him. J.K. Dobbins, the running back for the Chargers.

J.K. Dobbins, he's going to get hurt. Look, he had the Klay Thompson, the ACL, the Achilles. He's 25. J.K. Dobbins is 25 years old. He's like two years older than Jaden Daniels. He just was the second pick in the draft. And everyone's giving up on J.K. Dobbins. On Yahoo, J.K. Dobbins is like the 150th ranked player. I think he will straight up be the starting running back for the Chargers. And you could get him literally right before you take it. With Harbaugh and a good offensive line and an identity. Yeah. They're going to try to lead the league in carries. Again,

Literally, he's Raheem Mostert this year. It's like Raheem Mostert outside of McCaffrey. That was the best pick you could have made was Raheem Mostert, like the 13th round. To me, J.K. Dobbins, if there is one this year, it's J.K. Dobbins. Well, you're going to laugh at mine and you probably would have been able to predict it. J-Lo and Ben Affleck have obviously had a rocky. They've been married twice. There's been some comebacks and it never ends great as it just ended badly. That's me and Christian Watson.

Um, two years ago, I wrote him down the stretch. I think he had like eight touchdowns in four games. He was like the most exciting young receiver in the league. I went in on him last year. He just broke my heart, hurt my feelings, did a bunch of things that, uh, really like brought my self-confidence down. And finally I traded him or waved him. I can't even remember. And whoever got him next, he immediately went on a run.

And I'm vulnerable and I'm hurt. And I kind of want to work it out with him and have him again. And I know he's going to get hurt if I take him. So that's my guy. He's super excited to have. He's super fun to watch. And I don't know if I ever put it together, but I don't want it to be with somebody else. I love it. Who's left? You, Craig? Yeah. Craig, you're last. Mine's Raheem Mostert. Yeah.

Yeah, he's kind of getting pushed to the side. He's getting way pushed to the side. I mean, the guy led the league in touchdowns last year. He's in the exact same situation and he's going 75th overall. Like, what are we doing? We did a Seattle live show last week for the Fantasy Football Show and I compared Devon Achan to Zoe Kravitz and Raheem Mostert to Lisa Bonet. I'm like, look,

Sure, they're a little older, but like if you squint, they pretty much look the same. Like Raheem Mostert is way closer to Devon A-Chan than we're giving him credit for right now on this team. I'm going to have the A-Chan thing settled by November. That's my plan. It should be A-Chan. He needs to get rid of the E. I know, it's spelled A-Chan and I just, I know and I just can't. It's the same issue with me over and over again. All right. Wow, we're really getting to the good stuff now.

Danny Heifetz, you're my 2022 Cooper Cup. It's a year after the year guy. You don't want to have anybody a year too late after they've had the big year. Who is it for you this year? Not quite the spirit of the word. I mean, I know we already talked about CJ Stroud. I do think there's going to be a little bit of a comedown on Stroud, but I think that if it's that's more young than what we're talking about, I think it has to be Stefan Diggs for the Texans, just because I think that

for Diggs' decline down the stretch in Buffalo, where again, he had fewer receiving yards than Khalil Shakir for the final three months for Buffalo. Yeah. Not to mention that, frankly, he dropped the pass. They should have won the game in the playoffs for Diggs. It's basically either he kind of fell off or he was hurt. I understand that there were scheme changes with Ken Dorsey and stuff at offensive coordinator, but I don't think it's

It is possible for me to reconcile what happened in Buffalo at the end, unless you think there was a decline or an injury. And I think Diggs is the guy that stands out as, as, as like Cooper cup, just, all right, you just have to have an opinion on whether the cliff is here or not. I'm really embracing the spirit of the word with mine. I'm taking Puka.

Year after the year. It's just like the legacy of Cooper Cup. Cooper Cup has been a mentor to him and now he's mentoring him and had to be a huge fantasy disappointment in 2024 because I just think he's going to be banged up all year. Craig, who do you have? Is it bad that I love Devon Achan? But the answer is Devon Achan. Like that's the answer to this category. It could be one of those where you were like, hey, remember that time when...

He had that one awesome year and now he's in the XFL. What FL are we in? UFL? There's a million of them. Whatever Terrible League does. Nobody knew who this guy was. He came onto the scene like crazy. And again, he was shooting 40% from half court. Like maybe he's just not going to do that again. And there's a lot of running backs on this team. So although he's awesome, I mean, this guy's going for $50 in your league and he like barely gets 10 rushes a game. That's just kind of insane. DK, who do you have?

Keenan Allen. He finished as the wide receiver three last year. That's a good one. 17 points per game. He basically had zero target competition on a team with Justin Herbert that passed 37 times a game, which was third most in the NFL. Now he's on Chicago with a rookie quarterback. I love Caleb Williams, but it's a rookie quarterback. He has DJ Barr, Roma Dunzey, DeAndre Swift, Gerald Everett, Cole Komet. Down the line, there's just much more target competition. I think they're going to spread it out a whole bunch more. I

I'm not really buying the whole 230 pounds thing is a big deal. I don't, I'm not like on that, but I just think he's probably not going to get nearly the target volume that he got last year. All right. One of my favorite categories. I tried to do this last year with Philadelphia with mixed results. My, I just want everyone on that offense. I don't fucking care guy or in this case team. I'm going to go. I think it's the green Bay Packers. That's mine too.

I just want all the people on the team, including the tight end. Give me everybody. Both tight ends. I'd be super happy. I think they're going to score points. I don't even know which wide receiver is going to be the wide receiver one, but I like all of them. The Josh Jacobs rejuvenation year, I'm in. Jordan Love, second half of the season, in.

I'm just in on that team. So, Craig, you have them too? Yeah. I just think, you know, everyone's looking at the Texans and the Packers as like the two most exciting ascending offenses. It's like Texans, Packers, Super Bowl. We love Stroud. We love Jordan Love. That's all great. Everyone's drafting all the players on the Texans.

People are drafting three Texans wide receivers in the top 65, which is Dell, Diggs, and Nico Collins. People are drafting zero Packers wide receivers in the top 80, which I don't really understand. If you think that this team is going to be a top five offense, it'd be awesome.

None of these receivers are being drafted. I would take any of them. I would take Christian Watson, Jaden Reed, Dontavian Wicks. Romeo Dobbs is probably a sleeper. People are bored with him because he was like a sixth round pick. And he's got the most buzz out of the four dudes in the preseason. They were going nuts about him. Jordan loves him. Everybody just refuses to believe that. He loves Dobbs. Yeah. Yeah, I don't even know who the number one is. What do you have for this one, DK? Call me crazy, but I want all the Chiefs.

You know, you know, the team with Patrick Mahomes. It's a good zag. Yeah. Pacheco, Kelsey, Mahomes, Rasheed Rice, Xavier Worthy, the rookie, Hollywood Brown. Like you could get several of those guys if you like go through the draft. And I mean, this is a team, obviously Patrick Mahomes, best quarterback in the NFL. This is a team that has been over the years, one of the highest pass rate teams, over expected, um,

They want to go up-tempo. Last year was like, we don't have anybody, so we're going to completely sort of change our identity. I think there's a chance to get back to their high-octane pass-first, like, let's score 50 points a game and just grind our opponents into dust kind of deal through the passing game. And so, yeah, I kind of want back on that in the Patrick Mahomes renaissance or whatever. High fits? Yeah.

I actually also had the Chiefs. And then my number two is the Packers. There you go. It's great. The Chiefs are back, baby. It's 3P time. They have their fantasy mojo back. Mahomes' wife is yelling at people on social media. We're back, baby. Travis Kelsey's filming a movie. Yeah, we're back. Shit's happening. Okay, Craig, what a great category for you to kick us off with.

My, I know it's a year too early, but fuck it guy. One of my favorite categories in this whole draft. Who is it? I really liked the rookie Brian Thomas. Oh, that's mine. Oh, damn it. Yeah. That's all right. We'll share them. Yeah. Rookie at LSU. He's on the Jags now.

you know, Calvin Ridley's gone. They need a new deep threat. Great vibes out of camp. I was, I was listening to Mina Kimes talking about how the Jags wide receivers were terrible going deep. They basically got zero separation going deep. That's exactly what Brian Thomas does. I think everyone's sleeping a little bit on the Jags. Um, and, uh,

Yeah, the reviews out of camp are so good with him. Probably better than any rookie wide receiver other than Malik Nabors. He's actually playing in the preseason. He's making plays. And look, I don't really like anybody else on this team. It's like, okay, you have Gabe Davis. You have Christian Kirk. There's not a lot going on. I'm sure this will be a year too early because it's tough as a rookie, but I love Brian Thomas. Yeah, and a scale of one to Kenny Pickett has Joe Montana vibes. Yeah.

The Brian Thomas buzz has been like a nine. Yeah. Which is a red flag. People just raving about him. Like, I can't believe we were able to get him where we got him. This guy's amazing. He catches everything. He's always open. Like it's, it's pretty noticeable. And this is, you know, this is backed up by the people that loved Rudy Furman in college. They were all like, this guy's fucking awesome. Like you, like, not sure if he should go ahead, Harrison neighbors, but this guy is fucking awesome. Just so you know, who do you have DK?

Roman Dunzay from the Bears. So everybody is projecting him to be sort of the distant wide receiver three on his team. And he might be, especially early on. Um,

but I don't know. You, I think the risk that he will just be the, the wide receiver three is already baked into his price. Like I want to take him and just see how it all shakes out. Maybe Keenan Allen gets hurt. Maybe Rome just leapfrogs him in terms of the hierarchy of that's passing game. Maybe he just turns out to be the, like the better player ultimately this year. And I, Keenan Allen could kind of fall off. Um, or you could have injuries in there, in the wide receiver group here. Uh, a doomsday is already showing like pretty incredible chemistry with

with Caleb Williams. They took a flight together. Craig was on that flight. They're best friends. Oh, yeah. Headed to the draft. And I just think like

Odunze's skill set is perfect for the way that Caleb Williams plays in terms of like, he's running around, he's running around like this is the scramble drill. Odunze is huge. He wins at the catch point. You know, he knows how to get open at the last minute. So like if Caleb Williams is going to throw it up for him, he'll go get it. I don't know. I just think this is the number eight overall pick, right? Like he is one of the better wide receiver prospects we've seen in years and nobody wants him in fantasy.

Well, and also the more you read about and watch the bear stuff, they were like obsessed with getting him a number nine. Like one of the many mistakes that the Falcons made was, you know, I think these teams, I always thought they had Intel on what other teams wanted. Like they could have just flipped pit, pretended they were going to take a dunes day and, and the bears would have freaked out and probably given them something. They could move back a spot and take a panics anyway. But, um, seems like he's,

It just might be a legendary wide receiver class. That might be where we landed. We might have just gotten four awesome guys. Who's yours, Heifetz?

Jonathan Brooks, the running back for the Panthers, because I mean, I'm not a big fan of running backs coming off ACL injuries for one of the worst offenses in the league. But I also think next year, Jonathan Brooks is a three down skill set. He could easily be a top 20 pick in drafts if he had down the stretch of this year, if he plays well. And then I'm like, all right, depending where he goes, I don't love him. If you have to use a top 100 pick on him, but if he falls outside that and you have an injury reserve spot on your league and Yahoo, and you can stick him in there for a month, fuck it. Just take Jonathan Brooks this year, man, because he's,

I think he's immensely talented. I'm dubious that he'll be useful in the first half of the season, but I do like him for the stretch run if he goes late enough. I don't want any Panthers, but I see the case.

Danny Kelly, you're my missionary position. We've all had him. This is a fucking boring guy. Who is it? I mean, every year it's Amari Cooper, isn't it? Yeah. And he's somehow getting better every year. Yeah. I mean, he was incredible last year. I still don't want to draft him for a multitude of reasons. Yeah. I think there's bad vibes, obviously, with Sean Watson this season. I mean, if Flacco was a quarterback, I'd be pretty stoked about it, but he's not. Heifetz?

Keenan Allen. This should be named the Keenan Allen Award. He had the best year of his career last year. Went to Chicago. No one cares. I think Debo now is old enough to qualify for this award. That's what I'm taking. Yeah. I feel like we've all either had him or traded for him or had some sort of pass with him in fantasy at this point. And he's probably a little undervalued because people now factor in whatever Debo injury is going to happen. I don't know how many more years he has left in elite level.

And I just feel like you get him for $5 less than maybe what he probably should go for at this point. Who do you have, Craig? Joe Mixon. Everyone's done the Joe Mixon thing. True. We did a ringer draft a couple weeks ago, and Joe Mixon felt like three rounds. Nobody wants him. And it's like every year he's actually pretty good. And he's had a really good offense as the lead back, and he's probably got a lot of touchdowns. That's a good one. Okay. Heifetz. Who's up for the lead in the next category? Yeah, it's Heifetz.

Oh, this will be fun. My, I fell for the preseason hype guy. This could be rookies. This could be a three-year guys, veterans, whatever. This is the Kenny Pickett award. Oh God. This is it. Who'd you, who'd you fall for? Who sucked in? You guys beat me to it, man. It's Brian Thomas, the Jaguars receiver. He's so good. I know we just did it, but I just can't get over that. We, we were all obsessed with Xavier worthy running a four to 40 yard dash. Meanwhile, Brian Thomas ran a four, three 40 yard dash. He's 46 pounds heavier. Um,

Everything you guys said about the Jaguars and more, I think they signed Gabe Davis out of panic and losing Calvin Ridley, but I think Brian Thomas could be... I wouldn't be shocked if a month into the season, we're saying Brian Thomas looks like the best receiver in this rookie class. I'm not saying he'll be better than these guys long-term, but I wouldn't be shocked if he had, along with Marvin Harrison and neighbors, the immediate impact right on that level.

By the way, Hypefitt's just saying, I wouldn't be shocked, dot, dot, dot, with a proclamation. Just now made him eligible to be on an ESPN show. I don't know. You just passed the final, final test. I think that's Dana Orlovsky's entire bit. I wouldn't be shocked if Patrick Mahomes threw for 70 touchdowns this year. I'm going to go last because I have two guys that I really like and either Craig or Danny Kelly might take one of them. So Craig, you go.

I don't know if this counts, but can I say Caleb Williams? Like, I know he's the number one overall pick. You absolutely can. You can. Okay. I know he's the number one pick and everything, but man, I...

There is a thin margin of error for Caleb Williams this year. Even if he's mediocre, I think everyone's going to be pretty upset. And the media tour, the hard knocks, him and Adunze are best friends. It feels like Adunze is already the most famous wide receiver on the team, which is crazy. He just looks awesome and so fun, and he's already doing the crazy...

USC scramble in a million circles for 10 seconds before he makes an awesome throw thing. I'm falling for all of it, but like, man, he's right. He's flying hot right now. It's a great one. I can't believe it took so long to even bring him up. I was looking at bets for him for like 4,500 yard passing seasons and up on Fandle where he's like, I don't know, six to one, seven to one, something like that. And it's like, could he throw for 4,500 yards? Danny Kelly, who's yours?

Uh, mine is the Tennessee Titans offense. Basically the, the, and I was just watching Will Levis, uh, just looking exciting and awesome and, and throwing the ball down the field and like play action and all this stuff. And just now was he, was he tearing it up? Yeah. The preseason game, but that's, you know, whatever. Um, wow.

He, I don't know, to me, this is like the siren song. I want to believe in Will Levis because he's big, strong, throws the ball real hard and he runs around and he sacrifices his body. He's like trucking dudes. It's just like, I want that to be successful in the NFL. They brought in Brian Callahan. They brought in Brian Callahan's dad. You know, they got Calvin Ridley, Tony Pollard, you know, offensive lines looking pretty solid.

There's a world in which this works really well, but there's also a world in which it fails spectacularly. And Will Levis is just bad and he takes a million sacks and their offense can't operate. So I don't know. I've allowed myself to have hope that Will Levis and this Titans offense is going to be fun. Caleb Williams on FanDuel, 11-1 to throw for 4,500 yards. Craig, are you aroused? I mean, a little aroused, yeah. I mean, that'd be the record, right? For a rookie?

What did Herbert do? 17 games. What did Herbert do? 17 games. That's 260 a game, but cold weather. It seems like a lot. I don't know if I would do it. Herbert was 4,300. I have two. It's my podcast, so I'm going to give myself two. I fell for the preseason hype, guys. What the fuck?

I mean, the easy one is Trey McBride, who I think we all love down the stretch, who was really good and is now everybody's just like Trey McBride, watch out. Like he's kind of become the pits for this year. Dana Kelly's one of them. And I'm also one of them because I think he's really good. The counter is they now have Harrison,

Um, they, they built out, they have more receivers. Like it's just, there might've been reasons he was doing so well down the stretch that have nothing to do with this year's team. So I have him flagged. And the big one for me, this, I can't believe it's taken 85 minutes for this to come up.

is the Jameson Williams rehabilitation watch out tour. Yeah. Where it's like, yeah, we know he was a fucking disaster. He came off the ACL and then he was an absolute fucking disaster, but he's learning how to run routes now. And there there's just, they're really talking them up in a way that I'm both suspicious and excited. Cause if it was like, Oh, Jameson Williams for six bucks on a T on a loaded team. Great. But on the other hand, like

It just feels like they're trying hard. If you guys are reading all these websites and

You've seen it, right? Oh, yeah. Feels like intentional Jamison Williams. Jamison, Dan Campbell has been talking him up a ton this offseason, which is... I don't trust it. I don't trust it either. I don't want it at all. They're like gearing up to trade him or something. Yeah, it just feels like, yeah, you know who's great? But he's the type of player where in terms of excitement per touch, he's like top one. You know what I mean? Every time he touches the football, it's like, oh my God, this is the fastest person on earth.

I mean, it does seem like they have one play that they can run wherever, where he just runs a straight line and he's five yards ahead of every defensive back. I mean, Goff just has to kind of reach it down. All right. We only have three categories left. This is a great one. My, I'd never root for an injury, but he is one injury away guy.

Well, Craig, you go. I'll go last because I have two. I think it's Tank Dell on the Texans because I think Stefan Diggs coming to the Texans really neutered the Tank Dell hype trend.

train. It sucked because he's like CJ Stroud's best friend. CJ Stroud can't stop talking about him this offseason and is like if I could have three wide receivers like of all time, he's like, well, who are the three? Do you remember? He was like, oh, if I got to run one plate, Jerry Rice is a Jerry Rice, Calvin Johnson tank down and tank down. And I'm like, ah, fuck man. Stefan Diggs is here just mucking up the whole situation. So yeah. Yeah.

That's a good one. Who do you have, Danny Kelly? Blake Corum, the running back for the Rams. If Kyron Williams gets hurt, Blake Corum could legitimately be a top three running back in fantasy. He was my 1B for this category. And it really seems like the Rams genuinely like him. Yeah. Who do you have, Heifetz? I don't want anything to happen to Russell Wilson, but I would rather Justin Fields be the starting quarterback for the Pittsburgh Steelers. Yeah. I have a great one.

And it's going to cause an actual audible reaction shake from one of the three people hosting this podcast with me. JSN. You want him to get hurt? No, he wants DK Metcalf to get hurt. Yeah, the Metcalf or Lockett. Hold a hamstring. He's out for five games. And JSN just goes fucking bonkers. And that's 90% of the reason to spend $17 on him, right? Because...

They have too many receivers and I just don't see it. But one of those guys, all of a sudden, he might be like a top 10 receiver with one injury. All right, two new categories to end it. So excited about this. Danny Kelly.

My rookie nitrous oxide guy, the guy that, you know, you probably shouldn't take just like you should never try nitrous oxide. But it's like, man, it also might be fun. I might just fucking do it. And all of a sudden you're doing it. Who is it? I mean, I had Malik neighbors circle for this one. Like he, the preseason stuff, he's just looked incredible. He's made like three or four, just like George Pickens catches on the sideline. One of the most explosive players in college football last year, if not the most explosive.

Just a fun, fun player. But again, he's catching passes from Daniel Jones. Like, we don't know. This might be one of the worst teams in the league. Sorry, Heifetz. I've been on the Giants for the last few years because they just suck at scoring touchdowns. Like, they can't score touchdowns. It's a big part of football. Teams need to score touchdowns. And the Giants are bad at it. So I'm like, why am I taking Malik Nabors in the fourth round?

They can't score touchdowns. But also, he might just... You can't resist. He might score all of the touchdowns for the team. Who knows? He's that good. I think he is really... He'll be in the discussion for the best rookie receiver. And Marvin Harrison Jr. is going to have a huge year. So, yeah, I love Malik Neighbors. Hi, Fitz.

I mean, Xavier Worthy, man. I think he's nitrous because he runs like he's on nitrous. And he's also nitrous because, you know what? Xavier Worthy, fast. Like, look, some of these fast guys never work out. John Ross, some of these guys never work out. But you're like, you know what? John Ross never had Patrick Mahomes. And look, Xavier Worthy. I don't know if I want to base my success on my season on whether or not he pans out.

But yeah, I want a little huff, you know, just give, you know, just give me one hit of Xavier worthy. I, I, I can't live my, my life having not gotten a hit of Xavier worthy. So he is the reason I created the category. He's also my pick. I saw that, that, that clip where they use them four different ways in the same preseason game. And each one was just him running right by somebody. I was like, Oh my God, what is this? Is this like a, like, so he'll, he'll end up,

What's the price range for him in a fantasy draft? Let's be honest. It's going to be $5 higher than any of us would ever think. Yeah, I think that 15 you're going to have to pay. Yeah, I was going to say he's in the 10 to 15 range with no evidence that he should even be more than three bucks because of the combine. And the other problem is his name is sick. Like Xavier Worthy, like Brian Thomas is going to be low because Brian Thomas on the Jaguars. If Brian Thomas and Xavier Worthy switched names,

Yeah. I mean, that'd be totally different. Yeah. I just try to ignore the fact that Xavier worthy weighs 20 pounds less than me. As long as I don't think about that, I I'm fine drafting him. If we have that, the paths this year, there's been incredible Ty Thornton buzz. Like he's, he's going to be starting receiver. Like he's been awesome the whole year. And I just, they were like, he's put on weight too. And it's like, cool. So now he's 130 pounds. Like last category, there's probably only one answer for it, but we had to create it for this year. The,

my, I know this is good value right now, but I simply don't want to root for him guy. I created this category for Aaron Rodgers. Um, I don't want to root for anything good to happen for the jets or Aaron Rodgers. I just think he's annoying. Um, and that's enough for me not to want to take him. But then if he's just sitting there at two bucks, I probably really think about it considering he's got

two elite offensive weapons and a really good offensive line and that Jets might be really good. So I would pick Rogers for this. Who do you have, Craig?

I didn't know this was like guys that we had personal vendettas against. Yeah. Well, you can audible on the fly or professional podcast. Who do you hate, Craig? Well, I hate a lot of guys. I mean, to be honest, I, I, I fucking hate Chris Godwin. I'm not going to lie. That guy pissed me off so much. That guy ruined my life last year. He was so bad. Mike Evans was scoring three touchdowns a game and Chris Godwin was on the sidelines, uh, on the, on his phone.

And I know he's back this year. This is like the year after his ACL, whatever. The new OC in Tampa Bay. I'm just like so sick of Chris Godwin. Sometimes when a guy double crosses you like that, you can't go back. That's how I feel about Kyle Pitts as well. I wish him all the best. I can never have him on another team. He really hurt my feelings. Who do you have, Danny Kelly? I had some cognitive dissonance here because I really love Garrett Wilson, but it's Aaron Rodgers. Yeah.

Yeah, it's like you have to I traded for him in a few dynasty leagues because he's so cheap. Everyone's like he's going to be gone after this year, but he might be a top 10 quarterback. Well, for all we know, like, you know, go back to the MVP years, he was scoring or throwing like 45 touchdowns to two picks. I mean, he still has that in his bag potentially. So you have to kind of take that chance.

I mean, one of the fun things about Rodgers this year, just as a football storyline is wherever it goes is going to be enjoyable. Yeah. Because if he's good, that means Garrett Wilson will be good. That means the Jets will be a really interesting team and it'll just be like a fun football storyline. If he's bad, combined with the Packers and Jordan Love being really good. And then the Jets fans just being absolutely furious that Rodgers isn't good. Like that's going to be hilarious to watch. So there's no way to lose. The only way this...

doesn't really work is if they're like an eight, nine team with some injuries. And I don't see a scenario where they're not entertaining. Hi, Fitz, finish this off. Who do you have? It's Rogers for everything you just said. And the one thing I'll say, the last time he did Ayahuasca, he then won the next two MVP awards. That's all I'm saying. He needs to get back or he went to Egypt. This look, it's a way more fun season. If the, if the jets are like 12 and five,

Let's be honest. It feels like a lot of stuff is lining up for them too. Sal and I are going to do it on Tuesday. We're doing the AFC and I'm really trying to be, there's just so many red flags with the Jets as a franchise and the coach. And there's a million reasons. Like the oldest offensive line in the league. Yeah. You're hard on Sal. I think Sal is a good coach. He's a good defensive coach, but I don't, we haven't seen evidence he's a good head coach yet, have we?

Am I missing something? I feel like it wasn't Salah's decision to keep the quarterbacks on the roster that were on the roster last year. And then he was told to cook with the ingredients he had. And I think they actually had an incredibly coached season. I think the roster management's been crazy. Yeah, he's basically been like a chef on Chopped. And it's like, all right, make spaghetti out of quail eggs, Hershey's chocolate, and Ritz crackers. Jim Boyle. I make an ice cream. That sounds delicious. Yeah, because I was going to talk myself into the bills for that division, and then...

When Milano got hurt, and now I know Milano gets hurt every year, but when that happened even before the year, I was like, oh, that's just a lot of signs pointing at some. All right, guys, what's the podcast schedule the rest of the way? What do we got? The rest of this week, we are doing sleepers. And then we're going to do an episode about ESPN leagues, Yahoo leagues, like what our favorite rules are, how to set up your league, all that stuff. And then we'll do our annual take purge where we give our hottest takes that we're not responsible for.

And also during the season, we got four episodes a week during the season. We do fantasy. We also just do the league and a lot of nonsense too. But yeah, we do waiver pickups, Sunday night awards. We do Wednesday power hours. We do Friday previews. And then Craig, I'll see you tomorrow night for Purple Rain. Oh, you're announcing it. A movie you've never seen. Can't, I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for your reaction to that movie. Guys, great to see you as always. The third annual My Guy fantasy draft in the book. Thank you.

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and tools like Wealth Plan and the Chase Mobile app, which is very cool. They have options for every investor. So visit your local branch or explore the Chase Mobile app to get started. JPMorgan Wealth Management offers investment products and services through JPMorgan Securities LLC member FINRA SIPC. Adam Sandler is here. Josh Safdie is here. They have a new comedy special.

on Netflix, the home of Adam Sandler. You're basically like Jason Tatum with the Celtics with Netflix now. You're just like lifelong, they retire your number in the Netflix Hall of Fame. - If he's Tatum, who's Brown? 'Cause I think he's the MVP of the finals.

I know. Don't try to divide the team. I see what you're doing. Billy saw what you were doing. You were trying to get them to one-up each other. They love each other. I'm just saying there's MVP. When I'm playing basketball, like I did yesterday alone, sadly. I told you I would have played with you. Yeah, I didn't want you there. Not yet. Not your giant elbows. But when I'm playing pickup basketball and I win –

Because my teammate is incredible every time. I'm excited. I drive home just as excited. That's right. Tatum felt the same. He loved his buddy scoring. The reason his buddy was scoring a lot, everyone was scared of Tatum. I love Tatum. He's one of the top five. One of the coolest, greatest dudes and hardest work. Yeah. Oh, my God. His relationship with his son makes me cry every single time.

Yes. And he was, you know, when we showed gems to the Celtics,

uh, in Boston, KG organized the screening. He was one of the few players who showed up. Yeah. He was, he was like a youngster. Yeah. Youngster. Yeah. I remember meeting Tatum. Also Shaq had a restaurant. He was opening it up around, uh, uh, the, the Staples center back then. And so we went to, to, to Shaq's opening and Tatum was there and he was a rookie and, uh,

He was very nice. And I remember just going, now this is just a stud. What a cool bastard. Is that restaurant still open? I'm not sure. Is it called Shaq's? No, it wasn't called Shaq's. Shake Shack? No, no. It was good, though. It had good food. I ate a lot that night. It was like midnight when I went. I mean, Shaq's restaurant is definitely going to have good food.

Did you notice what Josh did at the start of this? He immediately tried to bring Celtics dissension into the podcast. I know what you're doing. You're all excited about the Knicks season coming. I know what you're doing. Listen, the Celtics are dependable and some maybe not that exciting. I mean, they're great basketball players. But it's not like the Knicks. It's not like, you know, not like...

the mecca of basketball or, you know, a dysfunctional franchise that's now all of a sudden incredibly solid and with, you know, a great core of players and potentially the greatest point guard in the East and the Eastern conference. Wow. Yeah. Wow. Yeah. Billy, Billy, you just, who's a better point guard in the, in the Eastern conference. Don't take Donovan Mitchell.

Don't disrespect Donovan. I love Donovan Mitchell. I'm just saying I'm a Jalen Brunson. He's not really a point guard. Jalen Brunson is amazing. He controls the ball, though. But yeah, tell me who's a greater point guard in the East. The Knicks fans are hilarious to me because they haven't won a title in 51 years. Wait, wait. We have the Atlantic Division in 2012. Haven't made the finals in 25 years. You made round two once and the chests are out and puffed.

talking shit like shitting on the celtics title it's just like it's just hilarious on the title i i was rooting for the celtics you kind of shit on the title you said we the celtics were boring no no i didn't say they were boring i didn't say they're boring i love the team drew holiday has been my one of my favorite players in the nba since he came in i love his style of play i love white style play i love tatum style play i like everyone's individual style of play but they're so good

They're so good. They're such a well-toned machine and fine-tuned and perfect. Who wants perfect?

But listen, Bill Simmons wants perfect. That's for sure. No, listen, you have to grapple with some Nick stuff that's coming, which is you have too many guys now, not enough minutes. And Randall wasn't in the playoffs last year. There's going to be some ego stuff. Like Adam figured this out with like grownups and grownups too. Like you need the hierarchy, need role players, right?

You can't have somebody who's like the seventh guy in the movie who thinks he should be in more scenes. You figured it out. - Thank you, Billy, for noticing. And in those moments, what you do is you just bring those fellow superstars who don't have as much to do in for a week rather than a whole movie. Because if they're there the whole season,

There's going to be some snapping going on. Get me in there. So that's your strategy? So you're like, hey, Chris Rock, just come for like 10 days? I say, well, Chris Rock can stay as long as he wants. But anybody who's hitting around, Spade, I give him seven days maximum. I say, you got to go, bro. You're starting to lose it on me.

By the way, Spade can lose it by the end of a shoot because his body, he doesn't love shooting too long. He starts going like, what time are we finishing today? And stuff like that. He gets a little, he's good. Spade came to one of the performances for Love You.

And he was, everyone had their phone locked in those special cases. Somehow Spade stuck his phone in there. Oh my God, Bill. I looked out in the crowd, my comedy special, all the years of being best buddies with David. And he's on his phone in the middle of a joke. So I just go, you know, I stopped and yelled at him. And then he goes, I was just writing down something I liked.

So when he sees my shit, when we're on the road together, he writes down stuff. He's a note taker. Or he writes like a button he came up with for me. But it looks like he's texting his mother. So I start yelling at him. So did he two phones it? Because the only way to really get the phone in there is to have the second phone. I think he snuck in.

I don't think he, I think security disallows David. They don't, no one wants, he's so awkwardly weird that they just go, I just let him through, man. He's making such a moment out of us asking for his phone. You know? Wait, I want to talk about filming movies and movie sets and being on there for a long time. Cause I don't know if I've ever talked about that with anyone on the pod. Yeah. So like you're, like you're doing uncut gems. How many, how many days on, how many days filming on the set is that?

- That was considered a short shoot. It was like a 160 page script and we did it in 31 days. - Wow. - Yeah. - Oh, so that's better 'cause you're like in and out. - Now I have to like eat crow because I did it so quickly. Now everyone's like, he expects me to do everything so quickly and it's-- - That's like the Clint Eastwood style where you're just like,

one shot Clint just banging it out. Well, we didn't do one shot. For the this is how I win scene with KG, there's basically, we had to do like 12 pages in one day, which was very unusual. Oh, that's right. Remember we had like, oh, it's lunch now. We have an hour to get that whole scene. And it was like, what? We had an hour to get the most important scene in the movie done? Yeah. Well, so KG's on the set. Huge personality, super famous, and is on the set for multiple days. So like, what is he doing when nothing's happening? We had a basketball court set up.

out on the stage. He didn't take one shot. No, he went during lunch and you know, he's, KG sweats thinking like he's like, yeah, he's a big sweater. And, uh, we somehow I heard everyone heard that KG's KG's shooting on the hoop and we were like, Oh shit. And everyone like, and like an exodus from the set, like,

went like moths to a flame to the set, the hoop that we had set up. And we get in there and he's with, um, some of the guys who were extras in that scene, not really extras. They were kind of, um, jewelers. Well, no, they were, they were actually Lenny Cook's like best friends growing up. Oh yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And they were all, and they all played ball. So they were all, but they haven't played ball now. They're like at the time they're in there like late thirties. So it was totally, they were, they were like retired from recreational ball. Uh,

And yeah, we showed up and he was fully drenched in sweat in his costume. So like we had to like do a change and do that. But no, when KG was like off, he was just telling some of the most amazing NBA story, like hearing it from his mouth, some of the stuff that like, you know, I wouldn't repeat, but like just like amazing, like

inner circle NBA stories that you as a Celtic fan were probably really excited to hear, but I'm not gonna share them. - So as basketball fans, are you just trying to start shit with him and be like, "Yo, honestly, who was better, you or Duncan?" And just try to throw him monkey wrenches? That's all I would do if I was on the set with KG. - Did you do that? - Never said anything that'd make him feel an ounce more than happy. I loved KG.

And, yeah, I didn't bring Duncan up one time. I brought up a lot. Yeah, because I think he's getting mad as his career, as the years have passed. Yeah. I think he's mentioned a couple times that Duncan was in a better situation. It's like, ah, he's kind of right. KG was buried on those Minnesota teams for years with no chance to win. I brought up Melo. I brought up Melo.

I did. I brought up the mellow confrontation and I brought up a more. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Yeah, I brought up that and I kind of brought up the heat

He'll talk about anything. You know what I mean? And what's great about KG is he has respect for players who, you know... So he doesn't talk shit. He's just a straight shooter. But the Melo Amari thing is really funny because he just looks at me. He's like, this guy, like you think. This guy's like a demented Knicks fan. He thinks they can do no wrong. He looked at me like I had like, you know, I was like a seven-year-old asking for an autograph. Like it was...

Even though like at that point I had like become friendly and now like I'll text him after. He's a huge Knicks fan now. You see what he says on his show? KG? What do you mean? Why is he a Knicks fan? He was never on the Knicks. Because he's smart. It's a good career move? It is. A big market. New York is a big market.

I think the player podcast there of these ex-players, which has now turned into pro wrestling, is fascinating. I was trying to think of if this happened with acting. Because the players are coming in now and they're just saying crazy shit like, the 2004 Pistons were the best team of all time. Then you see these clips and you're like, wait, what's going on? But I always thought it would be funny if this happened with comedians or actors. Where you just had comedians just claiming some beautiful...

B-level comedian was the greatest stand-up who ever lived. And then the videos would get shot out. I don't know. On the one hand, I really like hearing the perspective of the X-Players. But on the other hand, you have to color it through this crazy lens of whatever agendas they have. Yeah, yeah, yeah. Hey, do you have basketball courts wherever you are, Adam, when you're shooting these movies? Yes, yes, yes. Or something nearby like I'll...

The location scout will go around. Like I'll hear. You use a location scout for that? He literally, like we have scouts, men or women running around, getting the movie sets all set up. And then I'll get a text. Six minutes from a good court. 11 minutes from a good court. Hey, Schneider.

- All right, we're going to with Bill. - Bill? - Yeah. - Is he dressed like Elvis? - That's Bill. - The Bill Schneider. - What's up, Schneider? - All right, brother. - Wait, so how many years do you have left? 'Cause you're hitting your late 50s. You're in the torn MCL meniscus stage of basketball. - Bill, that's a good question. I think I'm gonna keep going, but you know what happened? I'm making a movie in England.

And I walk out on the court, London, a cool place we found. I forgot the name of the park. And right when I went on the court, I said, I don't think most of the – there were some good players, but there were a couple of guys I was like, they don't play basketball. This is going to go bad. And immediately –

Boom, guy bangs into my thumb. I felt something. And it's been like four, four and a half months. I tore the ligaments in my thumb and it won't come back. I can't like bend it a certain way. It's like Stanley in the Hustle.

- Yes, yes, yes, exactly. And so I've started going, man, maybe I gotta stop playing hoop because it hurts so bad when I shoot. But I played yesterday alone. - This is your way of saying this is why I can beat you one on one. - Oh, my hand hurts. - If I lose, I have the hand thing, yeah. - It's a good excuse, yeah. The thumb's never healed. - If it was pre-hand, I would destroy you. - You know, when you get older with pickup, two things happen. One, you mentioned earlier,

You're totally fine not being the best player, not having a lot of big plays on the team that stays in the court. That's like late 30s. Yes. Where you're like, you know what? Yeah. I'm going to be on this guy's team and I'll drop up and down. I could guard people. Maybe I'll hit one shot. Then the other one, you develop the sixth sense for...

you go out and you kind of can tell who the guy is to watch out for on the other team. That guy can hurt me. That guy looks like he'll jump over my back or I might get hit by a elbow by him. But you don't have that when you're in your early 20s. It like develops later, right? A hundred percent. And you know what? That's why when I play, I'm so handsy.

now and so elbow-y because I'm always trying to keep distance from these guys. They're so big and strong and they're fast that I'm just like, okay, I know you're not only going to beat me, you're going to hurt me badly. So I'm always pushing them away. Everybody I guard looks at me like, will you stop touching me, man? Ugh.

Say hey to him. Did we ever do the celebrity basketball pantheon of people you've played with? Because you've played with everybody. Played with so many great NBA guys. No, NBA guys don't count. It has to be actors or comedians. I played with some great... Woody's really good, right? He's great. Yeah, there's a lot of greats. I can't say...

You know who was the most exciting, fun moment playing with the professor? The professor was fun. Oh, really? What a nice guy. Where did you do that? During hustle. We had a few minutes. We hung out and played. And then he's, you just watch him. The professor? Who's the professor? The professor. He, and one, he played with the and one guys. And he does all these cool passes and dominates everybody in one-on-one on the internet. You should watch his stuff. It's the best.

And he gives you some tricks that you... KG was... Speaking of Antoine, KG was one of the few pro athletes sponsored by Antoine. Wow, I didn't know that. Yeah, he was... Mark Jackson, too, but that's because his brother was Escalade. Exactly. And I know Mark Jackson's other brother. So was there like a Clooney kind of... You guys kind of measuring each other up? Because he's like the big, oh, I play pickup basket. He's kind of on your corner. Yes, yes. I just did a movie with Clooney. We didn't play... We didn't get...

You can play? Yes, he's got a great shot. He's a real jump shot. He's got a good looking elbow in, perfect shot. And then he's an athlete. He does not stop.

He's in great shape. Good Lord, he's in good shape. So, no, but we never played against each other. Which comedians are good at ball? A lot of good ones. By the way, when I was in England, I would show up to this game and they were like, we're all comedians. And I would jump in and everybody knew how to hoop pretty good. I know. I got a phone call from one of the –

Adam Sandler's over here right now. He's just playing basketball. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. He didn't tell me. And I said, because I don't want to. He's a Beatle? This is a Beatle. A Beatle called him. It's Ringo Starr. Yeah, Ringo was following me around in England going, hey, now he's. Ringo's the only Beatle not independently as a solo artist in the Hall of Fame, Rock and Roll Hall of Fame. Yeah? Yeah. He will be. Yeah, and at some point. Yeah.

So, Josh, after you worked with KG, were other NBA players trying to get into movies with you? I'm doing something now that there's a Globetrotters. Oh, wow. A 1952 Globetrotters. And, you know, Globetrotters in 52, that's all the greatest NBA, all the greatest basketball players exist. There were no NBA players.

NBA players really, you know, back then. And then Bill Russell went, you know, and Will Chamberlain, they all toured. Will Chamberlain most famously. But so I have talked to him. I mean, Will did it for a year. Yeah, Will did it for a year. Did you see them growing up, the Globetrotters? I did. Well, we're somewhat close to the same age. When they were in the wide world of sports, it was like the single most exciting thing that could happen. Metal Ark was just...

He was as cool – Meadowlark was the first Rodney Dangerfield to me. Was Goose still on the – no, he wasn't still on. Curly Meadowlark. Curly Meadowlark. 1970. Curly was still on. Marcus Haynes. Marcus Haynes was still there? No, he was on – They say Marcus Haynes was the greatest ball handler of all time. Jason Williams said that. Oh, yeah, yeah. That's cool. Yeah. He said that him and Kyrie are the greatest –

you know, ball handlers of all time. That makes sense. It's amazing to think that that guy was doing it in the forties and you watch footage of him. You're like, wow, it's pretty contemporary and sick. Yeah. They would sell out the, they would sell out the Boston garden. Oh yeah, man. I could see you getting confetti, throwing on you and being tricked. I would have loved it. I would have loved it. I remember when they were on Gilligan's Island, that was like, yeah, that's so, yeah. And then they had the animation. I remember it.

They were on Scooby-Doo, I think. Yeah, they definitely were on Scooby-Doo. Oh, yeah? Yeah. Well, the wide road of sports, it was Evel Knievel, Muhammad Ali. Yeah. The Globetrotters were kind of like the big three. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

and that was it. That was it, yeah. That was before your time, Josh. Yeah, that was before my time. Yeah, I'm sorry. Yeah, the Globetrotters still sell out. They have a really diverse group of people on the team now, too, who can do a lot of different things. It's more of a show. Back then, the Globetrotters would tour America, and the best local players would go up against them, and they would

sweep the floor with whoever they were playing. They would put up people in the NBA. The best players from the All-Stars from the NBA would go up against them and they would have no shot.

- Yeah, I didn't know really, when I was working on my book, I really didn't know what to do with the first 10 years of the league, 'cause it was just basically all the white dudes. There were barely any black players in the league. I think like there were one black player per team was the rule. - I think like the thing that everyone says now, like all like the people on the internet or on Twitter and stuff are like plumbers and accountants, like that's all it was. - Well, when you go pre-Shot Clock,

Because the Shot Clock came in for the 54-55 season. So, Mikan was dominating. Mikan was like the first center. Yeah, when the Shot Clock came in, Mikan was done because they started like running up and down. And that was it for like the big clumsy centers. Yeah, he would play against. He was like the one person that Globetrotters were kind of scared of. Globetrotters weren't even from New York.

From Chicago. Oh, wow. And there was a Harlem team. I forgot the name of the team that was also, they had a squad and they were better. Wow. And they were kind of like, who the fuck are these guys? Amazing. Claiming Harlem Globetrotters. Dude. Pre-Shot Clock, I saw a game one time when I grew up in the 40s. Yeah. It was the best game I've ever saw and the Knicks won four to nothing. That's a good game. What happened with the collector's movie?

Because I know you were working on it forever. Yeah, we were. Josh kept texting me ideas and stuff. The strikes derailed us. It was complicated because the MLB was a huge part of it. And getting the tectonic plates in order after the strike finished up were kind of impossible. We're going to come back to it. A lot of the research...

from that movie popped up into the special, into Love You. Because I spent so much time at all these autograph collecting conventions. In particular, I went to the National that year. I texted you. And I just got really... I mean, Sandler's character was a great character. So we're not... We're going to go back to that. We just have to...

you know, figure out the timing. Bill, there's four more days on the heritage sports collectors website to buy my Ty Cobb cleat. Are you really selling it? Yeah. That's amazing. His Ty Cobb cleat. Yeah. One single cleat. One single cleat. Not even two. Just one shoe. Yeah. Warren or not Warren? I've had it for, I've had it since I was a kid.

Why are you selling it? That's kind of sad. - I don't know, because my wife's gonna go, "What am I gonna do with this?" I didn't even know I had it. So it's on Heritage site now. It's the only, there's no shoe that's been sold that's Ty Cobbs, and I've had it since I was a kid. My dad and I bought it when I was a kid. It's some sports thing. Bought it, now. You can have it, Bill. Buy it, go on Heritage site. - I'll look it up. - Four more days, Bill. - I hit this point with collecting,

When you get older and you're like, why do I have all this stuff? Yeah. And then some of the best stuff I have to put in like boxes, you know, like boxes at a bank. I can't even go and like look at it. So it's like, what was the point? What's your best stuff, Bill? What's your best stuff? Like what's the best thing you ever collected? I had a lot of, a lot of basketball cards.

Especially when I was working on my book in the late 2000s, and I realized you could basically get all the Hall of Famer rookie cards, and they weren't that expensive. - Yeah. - Well, I mean, when I was a kid, I got into collecting when it was peak, so they printed so many of those cards-- - Right, the worst possible time. - The worst time, yeah. - Yeah, they're good in the market, all that stuff. - When you guys were kids,

you know, all those early seventies cards and you know. Yeah. But we didn't take care of them though. We just kind of like shoved them in a shoe box. Yeah. Same thing. I remember I had a Freddie Lynn when, when he first came out. Yeah. Freddie, Freddie Lynn car. I had so many great cards, but I didn't even take it taken care of, but you know what I did pretty good with taking care of the, uh, Sunoco little football helmets. Remember those? Oh yeah. I have, I have about, so,

I had every team. Whenever we would stop at Sunoco and I'd say to my dad, please, please get this. Oh, you put the quarter in and turn it around and the one helmet comes out? So by the end of that run, I had every team. But now when I go home and my mother says, go to your room,

and my mother screaming at me she says go to your room and i go in there open my closet and i cry for about half hour saying i'm sorry i'm sorry but then i look at my old helmets i have about maybe 80 of the helmets and they're a little beaten but pretty cool i have

You know what I saw that I thought was cool? One of the conventions is they had basically like the first version of kind of like an NFT. They had these little tiny discs that had grooves, vinyl grooves in it. And it had the photograph of the player.

And it said the name of the play. So it'd be like Larry Bird, like fade away jumper. And you could listen to the commentator. Wow. You put it on record and you can play it. That's cool. I remember this. Yeah. It was quite Johnny most talking. Is it because of, because of Boston? I didn't, I didn't buy that one. I bought an OJ one.

- I bought an OJ one. - I like stuff that I can use, like these Dream Team cups. - That's cool. - And they're not even expensive. - I had, I collected those. - It's Larry Bird right there. - Is that signed or that's the fake signed one? - No, it's the McDonald's ones, but you can buy 'em and they're like 40 bucks. The funniest is like the 96 Dream Team, which nobody liked. Those are like way cheaper. Yeah, you can get those. - Usually those end up becoming more valuable 'cause they didn't make that many, right? Everyone threw 'em away.

Carl Malone's wife went into the locker room after the first dream team picked up all the jerseys off the floor. Now those jerseys are worth $20 million and he's selling them. No. True story. Wow. Walking away. Is that true? Yeah. Well, there's that. That's like that crazy story. I say that to Schneider literally after everything he says to me. Is that true? No, I never heard that one. He just dropped two things. I've never heard your work. We're going to talk about this stuff. Look it up now. Go on. You have somebody helping you.

Have him look it up now. He does it on his own. He's in his house right now talking to her. Bill, hire somebody. This is a very popular podcast. There was an era in the 80s and 90s when people like the equipment manager was just grabbing jerseys and sneakers. Right, right, right. And people were like, yeah, yeah, take it. And those people just put them in the garage. What was that story, the Brady story? Didn't someone steal a jersey from a...

- Yeah. - Well, you know what's happened now? There's been this boom with movies and pop culture stuff. - Oh yeah. You know that you can get a Happy Gilmore sealed VHS tape and graded near mint or mint to 10 O if it's sealed? Some of those go for like $900,000. Not $900,000, $900 or $8,000. - $900,000 is better, yeah. - Yeah, $900,000. I was excited 'cause I have one in my car.

I wanted the Halloween VHS tape, like the original one. It was on some auction. I'm like, oh, I'm getting this. I thought it would be like 400 bucks. And it went for like 18,000. Wow. See, the Happy Gilmore probably is a lot more. A 10 point, like a graded PSA 10 is probably for a Gilmore. I don't know. But Gilmore was like...

Gilmore was the video store video. That movie crushed. That was big on video. I remember that. You couldn't go into a Blockbuster and not have it playing. Yeah, that made happy for sure. Hey, Bill, do you know the Mark Jackson rookie card? Not the rookie card, the Mark Jackson. Oh, yeah, with the Menendez brothers in it. Yeah, that's funny. Which they bought those front court side seats with their parents. They recently murdered parents' credit card.

What else are you going to do with your recent murder of a parent's credit card? Go to a Nick game. That should have been a movie you worked on, the Menendez brothers. I think the best version, the closest they got was Stiller.

Was it in Cable Guy? The Menendez brothers show up? I think so, yeah. They did do a movie. Well, no, he plays both Menendez brothers. And it's constantly on television. Oh, right, right, right, right. Yes, yes, yes. It's like his version. Yeah, that's right. Love Stiller. Absolutely. That blockbuster time you mentioned, that really was a fascinating time to release movies because there were only so many cable channels. And if you hit that,

if you hit that sweet spot of like the blockbuster combined with like all of a sudden it'd be on HBO and it was, you just have these like five year runs. Now I don't, I don't know if it's the same way now. No. Like, but I think it'd be harder to, to hit that vortex because we have too much content now. We didn't have enough content in the mid nineties, you know, your stuff gets hot for a couple of weeks maximum. Now, if you got a smash and then they go, okay, all right, we got 30 more things coming out this weekend. So,

Well, what was cool about Blockbuster or any video store, Blockbuster in particular, is they would have the deals with the other big corporations. So you would go in there and there would be like the Newman's, not maybe not Newman's, but they're the butter popcorn by the door. You get the Raisinets. And it really felt like you were going to the movies. It was fun. You know what I mean? And you walk through the aisles and, you know, a big movie would come out and be like 75 tapes. Remember you get there and the whole aisle would be Gilmore, you know?

Yeah, you used to go and used to count how many of your movies was on the shelf and compare it to other people's how many movies they had. But I will say Blockbuster could have been the Netflix. They just didn't see the end coming and they didn't make the transition. But they had it all and lost it. No, there's been a couple of those, right? Because like.

Rolling Stone could have been MTV and they missed it. Sports Illustrated could have gotten involved and been basically ESPN and they missed it. Blockbuster easily could have been Netflix. But Netflix didn't seem like it was going to be Netflix for the entire late 2000s. I mean, the whole beginning of Netflix, I spent just...

renting the DVD, ripping the DVD, and then returning it immediately. I would go through like 5,000 Netflix. I would get the three rentals. They'd come, I'd rip them, I'd immediately return them, and I'd get new ones. So I would just amass a huge library. Ian, it seemed like the worst business possible because...

You just couldn't understand how is this going to make it. Well, Netflix knew something early because I remember like when the studios say, hey, something's going on. We're not going to give them discounts anymore for $8 or $2 for a title. And they said, you're going to have to pay $12. And they said, we're still going to pay for it. I said, well, they must know something. They did. Right, right, yeah.

The old school video stores, if you rented something and you lost the tape or whatever, they would be like, it's $180. Oh, I lost a very rare tape from Kim's and...

I, you know, I got, I got robbed and I, I told him, I was like, I was robbed. What was I supposed to do? They, someone ripped my back. Oh, wow. Wow. I mean, that's a $900 tape. I was like $900. This is a rare, it was a super rare movie. And, and, you know, by a filmmaker who didn't put out many films. So,

I didn't know what to say to them, so I kind of just kept passing the buck, and then they went out of business. Because of you. Because of me. It was like $900 for a tape. To wait out the bankruptcy. I didn't know the bankruptcy was coming. Then they sold the entire collection to, I think, in Italy. But anyway, that's another story. I had a similar thing when I didn't return a library book growing up. And I went to the library, and they said it's overdue. And I said, I'm not going to.

I'm not going to bring it back. I like it too much. And they had maybe six or ten librarians come out and beat me with their books. With the Britannica. With the Britannica finger smashes. Put your hands up. I think we talked about this before, but isn't it like I noticed when Carl Weathers died,

And it was like, he was a member of, uh, Adam's family because people had such an attachment to that movie. And like, you know, it's just, it's weird when you just make a movie, you spend how many days on it, you put it out in the world. And then it takes on this whole different form of identity and becomes part of people's lives and characters from the movie died and people act like it was their uncle. It's true. I did get so many calls about Carl and, uh,

Man, but there's certain people you make a movie with and that you literally you lock in and become your family. The movie goes so well. You hang out the whole time while making it. Not because if it's a hit or not, just just that the experience of making the movie and Carl. Carl was like that. Henry Winkler was like that. You just it was just kind of like Bob Barker was like that. We became family, too. We hung out.

But Rob never got there. Schneider's not in there yet. He's working hard. I'm one movie away, Bill. It's one more. Just one more. You're almost there. What was the connection with you and Josh from Uncut Gems that made you want to keep working? Oh, we've had the best time. All of us kind of got...

While shooting the pre-production, we became really tight. Oh, yeah. Just putting it together on touch. Upon first meeting. Yes, yes. We had a nice lunch. Wait, it was at that hamburger joint. Oh, yeah. We sat outside there at the bar. First time ever was when I came from, we came, we were just shooting the Jay-Z video. Oh.

Marcy and me and I shot all we shot all night yeah and then we were like let's meet let's meet yeah and I was scared on the helicopter shooting and then I ended up then you said we'll shoot we'll play ball at like 8 30 the first time oh yeah we played ball yeah yeah at 8 30 and I was like oh man we fit we wrapped it like

4.30 in the morning. Oh, you're tired. And then I ended up coming straight to the gym. Yeah, yeah, yeah. And we played. You and Benny were both. Yeah. Exhausted. Yeah, up and down. And Benny's way of playing basketball is like, he'll beat you with his hustle.

Oh, he's one of those guys. Yeah, I'll beat you in this hustle. You know the type of player. Kevin Wilds. Yeah. Just like just trying super hard the whole time. Exactly. And which is you need a guy like that all the time. Yes. Yeah. No, those guys always end up on the right teams. A thorn in the side of the other team all the time. You're like, oh, this guy's in again. I have to deal with this shit. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah. But Adam was one of your guys, though, growing up, though. And then all of a sudden you're making a movie with him.

Yes. I still, to this day, you know, I had to do the tech check for the special this morning and, um, you know, I, I, I cry. I mean, the ending, the ending of it is very emotional for many reasons, but I actually met, I met, uh,

I met Sandler. My relationship with Sandler began on the wall of this music store called The Wall, actually, where they have all the new releases. In New York? In New York, yeah. It was a thing. If you broke, you got a sticker, and if you broke, they give you a new one, no questions asked. My dad would say, once a month, I'll get you whatever CD you want. Obviously, it was for the house and

uh you know we got a queen album you know i remember uh and then uh i think it was a prince album uh the one with um uh his first album uh what was the name of the first album that has crazy uh crazy you guys get crazy no no no um i can't my mind is blank anyway i um you know comedy was so important to me i had a kind of a we had many had kind of a rough childhood so

comedy was so important and my dad would always be we'd go to the movies and he'd be like i want to see this film and we're like we want to go see the comedy movie and he would make a compromise we'd maybe go see both or he'd come he always laughed and he was like oh we were embarrassed about how how loud his laughter was but uh we would we would uh we we would go and i would see i saw there was a comedy album and i had never heard of anything like that before i was um

They're all gonna laugh he was 93. I was nine years old. And the coolest part about it is it had, you know, I was 93.

New York, whatever, you were into hip hop. That was, if you were a kid, everyone listened to Onyx or whoever, or, you know, Biggie. That's what it was. Hip hop was. So they all had the parental advisory black and white little thing. Right. And I'm looking at this comedy album and it's got that big fat parental advisory on it. And I was like, oh man, this is, this is definitely what I want. You know, maybe I'll just grab it and, you know, there'll be no questions asked.

And I just remember just Benny and I just listening at night. The lights would go off when we would just listen to those songs.

And, you know, there's a medium pace when you're nine years old. It kind of happened. You know, I don't fully understand what medium pace was, even though like I didn't know about any pace. You know what I mean? So medium pace was even more nuanced than that. But, you know, there was like there was a, you know, teenage love. I mean, there's a lot of. Oh, yeah.

the jokes themselves, the acting inside of it was, was so amazing because you were listening to their sketches. They were so surreal. They were made for your headphones. Oh yeah. We had this little boom box and it was just, that was my introduction to Sandler. And then when, what, what the hell happened to me came out and you have like,

an eight minute track, like the hypnotist. Oh yeah. That's me. Yeah. But there's eight minutes, you know what I mean? So like, he's just ripping ones the whole time, but you are laughing. Was it, what was he doing? Was he doing a fart machine? Like how, what was making you laugh so much? I don't know if you know that one, Bill, but it's, it's a hypnotist. It's,

I think he's, I don't even know. He's trying to get you to quit smoking. But he keeps farting throughout the whole thing. Just relax. He's blaming you in the beginning. He's telling me. He thinks he's got me in a trance that he could say it was me. But there was no farts. There was no sound effect in yet. So Nealon would be doing it. We'd be going back and forth. And Nealon would just put his finger down like he did. I'm going to put one in there. And he'd be like.

And so I used to laugh at Kevin's giant hand. Just going. Neil was amazing. Anyway, but you listen to that, and I think that came out, it was 95? So I was like, I was 11 or something. And then that, you know, or the goat. The goat was on that. And then the first one had songs, too. And the second one had a lot of songs. Yeah, yeah. I think we split it up with a bunch of, like, maybe six people.

seven songs and then the rest are comedies. We packed it in. A second. Both of them have that. First one you have Medium Pace, you have... Steve Policronoff? No, that's the second one. No, that's the second one? I don't know. Ota Cars on the first one. Isn't it? No, that's the second one. I don't remember. They kind of, those two kind of blend together. Anyway, that was my introduction to Sandler and then so when Billy Madison came out, it was, you know, and that was also my introduction to Norm and

Farley too. That was my introduction because I was a living color guy. I watched it in color. I don't know why. I watched that more than I watched SNL.

It was good. Yeah, it was great. I loved it. And I loved the Wayne's brothers. So I love that there's a shout out in the, yeah, we, we give them a shout out on the, in the special, but I love that. And then you get to know all the S and all the S and S and L crew and you start watching those and you're like Schneider and Sandler and, you know, Farley, obviously, and Tim Meadows and rock and, and yeah,

That whole Dave... Yeah, Dave, of course, Dave. Dana, Carvey, and... I mean, that was just an all-star. You look at that cast photo, and you're just like, Jesus Christ. That was a really fun era for comedy, because those two shows were on at the same time. I liked both of them. Oh, yeah. But then you had...

We had enough comedy movies at that point to rewatch, like the whole Caddyshack era, Stripes, all of those. Those had nice legs at that point. And then there was like all the comedy stuff from the late 70s, early 80s, Steve Martin, Eddie, people like that. Back to school, I remember seeing Back to School and I saw very shortly after I saw Billy and I saw like, Oh yeah, yeah, yeah. The like, you know, the premise of a guy going back to school. And it just like, I just saw, I was like,

I don't know. If we could have made gems with anybody else, I probably would have been like Rodney, peak Rodney. Wow, he would have been incredible. Wouldn't he have been good at peak Rodney? Peak Rodney, yes. Rodney was just a special... And I remember reading Rodney's...

One of his books. He's got Billy's blue eyes, Rodney. He had them. Well, he also had, he had that comedy special and he was just breaking all these young people. Nobody had ever seen before on HBO. He had Seinfeld. He did Seinfeld. He had, uh, Sam Kenison.

Jim Carrey was on there. It was basically all that. Dice, of course. That generation. Yeah. Yeah, it was pretty cool. Yeah, we all loved Rodney. Every comedian. I mean, he was just such a hardworking... I actually just recently, when I told you, I went into his archive and I was able to look at...

This artist, Richard Prince, bought his entire archive. All his jokes that he wrote down. All his jokes from the beginning, so you can see how no respect the character evolved. When he was Jack Roy. Oh, when he was Jack Roy, exactly. And then you can see he had one joke that he worked on forever, which was a guy on a date at a fancy restaurant.

And it was like all about the lobster and the lobster gets better, more attention than him. And you can see little no respect jokes inside of this big epic joke. That's so great. Which kind of reminds me, I don't know, of your stuff. I love Rodney and Sandler are very much like...

I definitely was influenced huge by Rodney and there's so many people I was influenced by from growing up. But yeah, Rodney was. Well, you did that. I mean, I don't want to spoil the special, but that's a big part of the last part of the special. Yeah, yeah. You like that? Yeah, I did. That's awesome. Yeah. Well, I also know, I know how hard those are to do and

you know, probably trying to sketch that out, but then make the video. I don't want to spoil it, but I thought it was really cool. We did it. Thank you, man. That was only the second time I ever played that song. What happened was

I think I went to, before we did the special, I had to go to Europe and I did something for a while. I forget why. Anyways, I came back and I was like, we're doing a special, man. I got to get my shit cooking because I did a tour. We all were on tour and I had the shit going. And like when you do stand up, you take a three day break. It can fuck you up. You know, you just got the rhythm anymore. So I had it cooking on tour and

Then I had to shut down for a month or two to do something. I don't even remember what the fuck it was. But anyways. And then you just lose the rhythm completely? You just don't know your transitions. You don't know. You forget key lines in the thing. Your head spins. So I did a practice show.

at this place called the Hayworth Theater in LA. And you were there because he was putting a special together. And then we played that song that we played at the end of the special for the first time and with no visuals. And it was nothing going on behind, but it was just the mentioning of other comedians and stuff. And then all of a sudden, fucking the crowd went,

was like building and building and locking into who they liked and stuff. And if I mentioned a name, it was like big laughs and big fucking cheers. It was the coolest that night. Yeah. I mean, the thing is, I remember we were texting early about that, about doing a song at the end of the show that was emotional and real. And this guy over here is a very deep well of emotions and emotions.

complex person, very funny for a reason. The best comedians are very complex people and the best artists from my point of view. And yeah, I think the greatest part of that track is

of course obviously you relate to all of the comedians that that um you see on screen but it's different it's bigger than that it's more about you're seeing the stuff that made sandler happy the stuff that made sam yeah like forget about any trouble he was having in life at the time and just it's amazing comedy is an incredible incredible thing that we have in life and what's so powerful about that final song is it really reminds you of it and it really um

it makes you emotional. It makes you really appreciate it in a way that I've never really appreciated comedy. You appreciate it. Cause you're like, Oh, I want to escape right now. I want to laugh. And you know, I want to check out this crazy brain and, and get into tune with it. But it's, that's what I'm saying. It's like amazing. It's awesome to see the stuff that made you laugh. Cause it's like a little documentary about you. Right. Right. Right. You go to someone's house, you look at their record collection. Oh wow. He likes this record. Oh, that's really cool. But like, Oh,

man, you like the, you know, I'm trying to think of a, there's so many in there that I love that you put the jump kick from Martin, like a very specific thing. He was very specific about the things that you saw of the comedians.

Yeah, we worked hard on that. It was for me just watching it because I hadn't seen it. And I saw with the visuals, it is overpowering. To me, it was Sandler's way of just saying, I love you and thank you. And I just, I've never seen a comedian do that as completely as this. And it was just, it really is like a generous way

thing, it was really, you know, I think it's really overpowering. Like, for people who love the Farley song, this one, to me, is a sledgehammer, you know, to your heart. For me, for all the people who love comedy. Well, we all give it up. All us comedians give it up to our past and talk about it and get to say it. And this was a nice way to put it cemented. Chris Rock opened, was it...

was really pain was he opened it with i remember he opened comedy albums comedy yeah that's right was it not tampering i don't know i don't have a tambourine but um you sound like yeah something like that he opened with anyway it's very different but but i don't know i think sorry dude i remember chris rock's first album uh born a suspect i think i remember him doing it and how killer it was and how funny it was and man he had so much energy

It's the energy that you can feel all the time. I mean, he's one of the great, great. He changed modern stand-up comedy completely. On the back of all the greats. Even if we just watch him do stand-up, he doesn't stop moving. So it's always just exciting to just see him moving. I mean, the rhythms are out of control too. Well, it's such an interesting spot. Comedy albums in the era of what Adam and I see with our kids, like these 90-second TikTok clips are...

Instagram reels and you can literally get 150 funny things in, I don't know, 20 minutes. It is crazy how good it is too, man. When I go to sleep, I wake up every night for some reason at three in the morning and I just up for like two hours and I start flipping through funny shit. Just going through the reels? Yeah.

The reels, I guess my kids make fun of me. They say, Dad, I guess I do something. I don't do TikTok because I don't have it. Instagram. I don't do Instagram. Yeah, I don't fucking have that either, but there's something else I have. So I'm always going like this. I'm laughing. And my kid's like, that's so... You're so old, Dad. You just look like an old guy. And they're like, you're going through with like...

Young boys look at the same thing. I'm like, I don't know what I'm looking at. But the jokes are so fucking funny and the reality of what goes on and what like everybody and you're in Minnesota making the funniest thing now for 20 seconds. It's pretty cool. Were you?

Were you prepared for how uncool you would become with your kids? Because it's been shocking for me. Yeah, it's an all-time high right now, right? They just ridicule. I just spent a week with them and you just get ridiculed the whole time. Yeah, man. You're out of touch. You're old. Everything you like is from the past. That's amazing, buddy. I walked in on my kids last night. The two of them were at a hotel. The two of them, I came in and I said, Hey, guys.

How's it going? You guys having fun? And one of them goes, we were. They're dead serious. I have, what, 15 years until she's two. You guys are maybe 11 years old. Yeah, you got like nine years. Nine years until all of a sudden she's like, dad. Well, that's when the dad...

I mean, Adam made a movie with his kids and it was actually good and you pulled it off. I thought the degree of difficulty that was like... That was probably at the end of them liking me, maybe. Well, I remember you told me you were doing that and I was like, oh my God, there's just so many ways this can go sideways. I can't believe...

I can't believe you decided to do this. What a move that was. They're both great in it, though. Yeah, it worked out. And it was super popular. Just like your daughter doing your show. You got to deal with being terrified. Your daughter led a Netflix movie. That's a whole different level. It's crazy. You got the same going on. Your daughter's excellent and so is her buddy. Were you surprised? I forgot to ask you about this when...

when OJ died and Norm had this crazy resurgence. I don't know if you followed this. It became like a two-week Norm. Oh, yeah. Kind of greatest hits of OJ Joe. And all of a sudden, Norm was like back in the mainstream. Oh, man. Huge way. I was...

I am delighted that he has the legs that he has. He has amazing legs. He's still modern. He's still contemporary with a lot of his jokes. His jokes were timeless. They were timeless. If you look at me doing stand-up, just hear the audio of it on Spotify. Norm's...

me doing stand-up, that is a, perhaps the most brilliant hour of stand-up you'll ever hear. It is perfection, word for word. And it's even better just to hear it than watch it. - He had so much time, by the way, when we'd go on the road together,

He, he, I, I, am I lying when he, I think he said I have, I got seven good hours. Oh my God. Yeah, I think he said I got seven good hours. He fucking used to write it out. He'd phrase it perfectly. He'd go joke to joke perfectly.

I love when you'd see Norm kind of go, yeah. Like, be searching for his next joke. Be like, ah, so hot. Yeah, saw you the other day there. Whatever he did, man. He was so badass, man. Yeah, he's a classic. And he never told any jokes outside of, obviously, OJ. When he was doing Weekend Update, he was doing timely jokes. But all of his jokes in his stand-up are just completely timeless. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

You know what I mean? They're just, they're absurdists. The weekend update is so funny because there was a stretch when he wasn't getting the laughs that were as funny as the actual jokes.

So I remember being home thinking it was like the absolute funniest thing. Yeah. And he would tell a joke and it would just be like almost silence. Yes. Yes. And he just said, what are you people? How do you not laughing at this? He didn't give a fuck. He was a tough bastard. He just just sat in in the great joke. And that was it. He's killing a bug right now. What is that?

Oh, what's he doing? Oh, God damn it. You're going nuts on that. What is it? You don't need this. Billy's beating up. Josh is killing a bug. He's killing a bug. I don't know if I would do that. Oh, my God. All right. That's giant. These are invasive species. They're called the lantern bugs. Where are they from? Well, I don't know where they're from.

Wait, I have three things we have to do before we go. One, talented behind-the-scenes people always want to do direct-to-comedy special. Yeah. Which seem like they're pretty simple, but I know they're not. No. What is it about comedy specials? This is like a movie about a guy doing a comedy special. Right. There's a lot you put into this. And I really, really, really...

When Sandler asked me, like, you want to... Well, I went and saw the show a bunch when he was on tour. And it is like two and a half hours of material. And I was like, oh, wow, this is like a powerhouse. Kind of like Rodney. Boom, boom, boom, boom. It was like a machine. And I don't know when he was like saying, do you want to do this special? Turturro came to one of the shows. Yeah. And he had something that he said that really...

Sometimes you don't know what you're making until someone tells you how it felt. And he said it was like hanging out in his friend's basement drinking like, I think he said like drinking like a two liter soda and just like laughing at your funniest friend. And it really did, like to me, like the carpeting, the design of the stage, we wanted to create, I really wanted to create this space of like this nowhere space that like we all kind of remember, but it didn't really exist. And, you know,

You create this vibe, kind of like the final song, that life is pretty fucked up. And then you have this hour of just, you forget about it all. And then it releases you and you're like, oh, that's what we do. We get this comedy. We get this comedian who gives us this. And then he's gone. Then he's just gone and the credits are rolling. And the feeling of doing this in particular, it was the closest thing I ever did to feel like I was on TV.

kind of an snl type show because we would do two shows a night and then we would have inter in between be like all right let's cut this song and we have these certain things that i would throw at sandler that he didn't know was coming so like i would have to go and talk to ronnie and be like ronnie i'm like i want to change this little part i have to rewrite this thing and you know i'm like a character in it a little bit where i'm not a character and i'm like yeah yeah yeah yeah and

But it's nice because it's a good curveball for people who are seeing stand-ups, comedy specials. Because you don't really know 100% what's happening. Are they putting you on? But maybe they're not. So it's anything that can get the audience a little bit excited.

out of their seat of normal normalcy is you have the potential to come in with different stuff so i really loved it it was fun i mean i was every show was different so it was a blast i just i just really like this idea you were great yeah you were great man i mean i really wanted and i don't want to ruin it because it's a great surprise but i uh i just i just really wanted to like give the feeling i love feeling and i just really felt like

We wanted to feel like we were there and we had, you know, shooting it and figuring out a way to shoot it and like putting the camera in the right places and every, all the cameras handheld. So you really feel like you're there.

And, you know, again, like that Turturro's comment afterwards really resonated with me because like the color of the carpet is like the cult kind of the color of the carpet. When I first listened to your CD, it's also matches the carpet from what the hell happened to me. And I don't know. I just like it to me was a great challenge. And I had so much. I just had a great time doing it. You know what I mean? Well, it's, you know, Bill, when,

When I talked to Josh about doing it, I didn't know it was... I just... I thought, I'm going to shoot a comedy special. I got a good act. Right now, I was psyched with my act. Let me just get this song fucking down so I got it forever. And I said, Josh, you want to direct it? And he goes, you know, we got into Josh doing it. And then it became...

like a thing to Josh where he couldn't, couldn't stop creatively thinking about it with, with him and Ronnie, his partner. And, uh, and Jesse, he would call me up with ideas and I'd be like, Oh fuck. I thought I was just going to do this. Just going to do my act, man. I didn't know all that shit was coming. Hey, but it does have the fear out of your comfort zone. Yeah. I would call him up like a couple of days after I'd be like,

wait a minute, why, why do we got to do all this shit, man? Let me just do my fucking act and do my songs. And we'll cut it. It's working on the road. And he was like, well, yeah, I know. And I know, but just you in a small room, it's a little more people get to see you and see your mind thinking. I was like,

Well, yeah, they get that when I'm doing my fucking act that I've been writing for the last three years too, you know. But we did it Josh's way. It was cool. No, it was a great, I mean, we collaborated, but it was your thoughts. And like, yeah, at one point, I think Ronnie and I wrote like, I think we sent you like 25 pages of scripted material in the beginning and you were like, this is amazing. This is amazing, but like,

What are we doing? Because I saw a Dice, I saw a Dice, Andrew Dice Clay special that he did when he performed at the Garden. And it was like a 25 minute short film that kind of showed the origins of that character. Yeah. Yeah. Oh, wow. Yeah. It was great. He's got him as a kid. Yeah. He's like, no. And then he's got the wife character. He's like, he does his voice. You know what I mean? Like, oh, wow.

Anyway, I just like – and then we got realistic about it. And I really just wanted to just –

Give the feeling. Live on Sunset Strip, the Richard Pryor album is one of my favorite albums. The show is one of my favorite specials. And what's great is you do have that moment where you're seeing Richard Pryor. And they have that weird text that tells you someone was performing. I don't remember. Someone performed before. Someone amazing musician performed before him. But they didn't show it to you because there was not enough time. But you see that and you're like, oh, wow, this was like a whole night. Yeah, yeah.

And then you see him and then like the greatest part of Richard Pryor is like, yeah, his jokes and the way he sees life is amazing, but his acting is amazing. That was what was so great about the Kami albums and you as an actor in general, your acting is incredible. So like when you're watching you do some of these jokes, these super surreal jokes, you're selling it.

with your performance and like to me that was like it was that's why i say it's like a movie you're watching this guy arrive in this really shitty mood and then he slowly gets into it and even though as much as the venue doesn't want to let him get into it he ends up kind of winning right right right yeah yeah that's true bill when you do stand up you do walk in with a mood

And you got to shake that fucking mood. Or sometimes you're stuck with the mood and you suck that night. It just happens. Or it takes you 20 minutes to get cooking or whatever it is. And this was a version of a comedian coming up.

too much shit's going on before the show to fucking really concentrate. And then you get on stage and you go, oh shit, I got a show to do. And it's not fucking, it's not going to go exactly the way I thought it was going to go. Bill, I got there and I didn't really know exactly what was happening. And I go, why aren't we doing this in an arena? And then after you realized the intimacy of this was super cool where it reminded me of like, this is Adam's

you know, like what Elvis did in that small place. In the round? In the round, man. It totally had that beautiful feel to it. Is it better to be a small place or a giant arena? Because it's funny, like the, if you talk to like the great bands,

i think there's this like it's really fun to do the giant arena or football stadium but i think they really they like when it's like a little more intimate they feel like they connect with the audience a little bit well yeah i get maybe it's an ego thing because you're playing these big ass joints and you go oh let me make sure i capture that so i can show my kids so i'm saying you were afraid just about doing the intimate one because you were so used to doing

Giant Minutes. I'll tell you, when I prepare for these tours, I play the little rooms. I play Largo, Largo, little tiny spot at Improv, Comedy Store, whatever, the Hayward Theater. I go on in front of 50, 100 people. And I fucking, I'm so confident.

common that that number with that i don't feel like i'm letting that many people down when i suck if i'm in a huge place and i suck i'm like i feel like calling them all up and going i look let's do this again i apologize for how bad i was but um so but

when we did this special and it was, what was it? 150 people? - 150, yeah. - Something like that. - Wow. - It felt fucking fun. It was nice. You look at people, you lock eyes, you're actually talking to them. You're not going, "Holy shit, let's keep cooking or we're gonna lose the energy." You feel like you can sit and stuff a little longer, so it's nice. - It's like when I saw Adam at Holy Cross, when he came, same thing.

the field house, like 300 people. Yeah, yeah, yeah, man. That was, boy, that was fun. Was Schneider there that night too? There's no way you remember visiting Holy Cross doing stand-up. Come on. No, I swear to God, I remember those days and it was when I was early SNL and I was doing all the colleges and Rob was doing that shit too and Spade and

And Dana and Neil and all that shit. I remember that all of a sudden these field houses were getting bigger and bigger and like more and more people were knowing your shit. That was exciting. Wait, I have an SNL thing quick because it's the 50th year. So I don't know what's going to happen this year, but I know there's like, you know, they're going to celebrate the season. They're going to do all the documentaries. Like, are you even going to?

Like, what's your involvement in all of that, Adam? I don't know yet. I don't know. And Rob either. Like, I talked to Lorne recently and, you know, they told us when it is. It's in February and we'll see what happens. Just be ready, basically. Be ready to do anything you want for the team, man. We just want... It's what an...

It's going to be an amazing night. We're all going to be together. Always fun to be together with every comedian you love. And it's going to be a big, big, big weekend. Not many things make me feel old, but SNL having a 50th season makes me now feel like I need to reevaluate shit. Shit, man. Because I literally remember every point of my life, SNL was involved. And now it's like 50. Jesus. Can't wait. We...

We got to talk Anthony Edwards before you go. Anthony Edwards. Anthony Edwards. Oh, yeah, yeah, yeah. Sorry, buddy. I'm glad we can talk about it. I'm glad. No, this was your guy. You adopted him. Yeah. And hustle. Yeah. You were touting his virtues. Yeah. And he was like, he was, you know, really feels like he could have been an actor in another life. But then last spring goes to a whole other level.

ends up ripping through the playoffs, almost making the finals. And I don't know, you must have been like a proud dad. I texted you all the time about it. Yeah, we all love him. I mean, everybody worked on the movie, got to know what it's just a...

Just a great energy. Him in the Olympics was fun to watch. He's just a superstar. Superstar. - And a good person. He seems like a good, funny guy too. - Funny as hell says funny shit all day long. Calm, sweet, just- - And he looks like Mike Jordan. - He has something, yes. He's a handsome bastard. - He played the Olympics perfectly. He was like, "I idolized the rant. This is my favorite person ever. I'm just gonna follow him around." I love Steph Curry. He was like, "I'm happy to be everybody's little brother."

I respect everyone. I don't care if I play that much. Like, I thought he did a great job. It was similar to me and Schneider and Spade when Dana and Phil and fucking Kevin and Jan Hooks would kill you just like, I'm part of this shit. This is cool, man. Let me watch them kill it. Oh my God. He's in all the videos of the celebration. Edwards is in like two thirds of them, I think. People saw, you just see him like everywhere. Yeah, yeah.

He has a real, he has just like a burning quality. Like he's just a shine. He's really bright. He's just not afraid of the moment. And his game, he had a couple of plays in the playoffs where he looked just like Jordan. Didn't you think so? Yeah, he's got some. It was crazy. And then I said to Sandler, I made a joke, and I'm not going to say this is hyperbole, but I said, can you imagine if Jordan,

Anthony Edwards is not Michael Jordan. So, you know, that's not what I'm saying. But can you imagine if Jordan did do a movie and like he did like, I forgot what the comp was. I said he did like a. What, the Nick Nolte movie? Like, no, or like a James Caan movie or like a Stallone movie. And he was the guy. Yeah, yeah, yeah.

shit and then they become like they win multiple championships and they become one of the greatest players of all time and you go back and you watch you're like oh shit right like if he was if he was like lamar and revenge of the nerds he was like just like one of the guys i guess you could use kareem as a good comp because kareem but that was already he was already a superstar yeah this is he was a youngster anthony i mean but i haven't that's having read the script and was involved in that

yeah yeah yeah i when he when he held right this quick when i saw when i saw him like when i saw like the first cut yeah holy shit this guy can act and he was he just made that character so much bigger that was so cool that was wancho bill that the reason i haven't given up on wancho wancho's doing great he kicked some ass in the olympics and he's happy as hell and he's

in a plane in Greece and he's doing good but I remember when we were casting that part and Wancho said my teammate he'd be really good as what the hell's the character yeah yeah yeah and he said oh wow I didn't know that and so then him and Jeremiah the director met and at

That's how that all happened. That was all one. It seems like he's got the, he's got that same kind of thing that KG has, or just like this natural overpowering charisma at all times. So happy. So funny. Every, everybody loved them. I remember the days when a lot of the superstars were together and they were playing hoop fucking,

he was just such a fun bastard that they all loved it. They were all laughing at shit. And then Trey Young and Anthony were having a half court, like, shoot off and shooting it like it's a fucking eight-foot jump shot. They were both kind of like...

lightly throwing the shit in hitting, you know, two, two out of three from the half court. And they were just laughing and having such a nice time together. Cool. Cool, man. He's the coolest. And like, and I, and you got, you felt like the whole league, cause like the league is in a transition right now. Like who is the new face? All these, these Titans are, you know, how much longer are they going to be playing? Um,

who's going to take the baton. And, you know, for a while it was maybe John Moran. And then it was, you know, and while I was maybe going to be Trey and then, you know, now we're, we don't know. And it's, everyone's like, okay, it's Anthony Edwards has the baton right now.

And he kind of felt it. Yeah. You know what I mean? He kind of felt like... Well, you're talking the American baton. Yeah, the American baton. Because the... Well, I'm talking about just... Because Jokic has the baton. No, no, no. I'm not talking about skill set. I'm talking about like stardom. You know what I mean? Like there's a lot of amazing players in the league who are... A lot of stars. Oh my God. A lot of stars. But like he just felt like everyone being like pushing it really hard at least. Being like, oh... And like all of the advertisement and stuff. And he...

And he released that amazing commercial. I don't know if you saw that because his sneakers are like kids love those sneakers. Those are kind of like my friend's son who's like nine years old. All he cares about are the Anthony Edwards sneakers. Oh, that's cool. And he did that commercial where it was like all about receipts and how he's saving everyone's receipts and it's just printing up all the haters' comments. And he's saving all the receipts and he's basically addressing the fact that everyone's putting all this weight on him right now.

Anyway, he's cool. He's got a great attitude about it. - My favorite thing is that he's convinced he's the best athlete in every sport. 'Cause there was this moment in the Olympics where the ping pong, the women's team kind of challenged him and it seemed like he was ready to go. And I was like, are we gonna have like a video of him trying to play the ping pong? - He showed up at six matches.

Yeah. Yeah. He was, he was definitely into the Olympics, man. When the Vikings quarterback got hurt, McCarthy, the rookie. Yeah. And now it's like basically down to Sam Darnold. And I was like, I bet in the back of Edwards' head, he's like, I'm here if you need me to run the office. I think I watched an interview with the ones where he said he was the best at fishing or something like that. Yeah. How do you be the best at fishing? Yeah. He's, he could figure it out. Yeah. All right. We got to wrap. Yeah.

Good to see you guys. The special is, what is it, August 27th? Yeah, August 27th. Called Love You. Today? Are we doing this live? No, they wanted it to run closer to the special. Okay. All right, man. Thanks. Love You. How many Netflix things for you now? Oh, shit. I don't know. A lot. I don't fucking know. 15? You might have the record. I'm sure my name's on the few to make.

First bout Hall of Famer, Netflix Hall of Famer. Oh, I think so. All right, good to see you guys. Congrats on the special. Hey, Bill, thanks. Thank you, Bill. Good seeing you. Thanks, guys. All right, bye. Later.

All right, that's it for the podcast. Thanks to Kyle Creighton and Steve Cerruti for producing, as always. Thanks to Josh Safdie and Adam Sandler. Thanks to Craig, Danny, and Danny from the Ringer Fantasy Football Show. Don't forget, new rewatchable is coming Monday night, Purple Rain. You'll be able to watch it on the Ringer Movies YouTube channel, and you can watch everything that we did on this podcast on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel as well. You better subscribe because...

When Cousin Sal and I come back for, I think it's our 18th NFL season, we'll be doing the podcast live on YouTube. You'll be able to hear it as well. But if you really want it, like late at night, East Coast time, middle of the night, 830 range, West Coast time, we'll be doing it live on YouTube. So subscribe now to the Bill Simmons channel. I will see you on Tuesday with AFC over-unders with the Cous. That's right, baby. We're back. On a CK.

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