The 2025 NFL Free Agency Awards With Danny Heifetz, Craig Horlbeck, and Danny Kelly
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I imported all three fantasy guys, Danny Kelly, Danny Heifetz, Craig Horlbeck from our ringer fantasy show and our ringer draft show. Um, more since the ringer draft show right around now, all three of them are on and we're going to be breaking down our favorite things about free agency in March. I have some awards to hand out. There's a lot of draft subplots in it too. So, uh, stay tuned, check it out. First, our friends from Pearl Jam. Yeah.

All right, we're recording this. It's 11 PT. I have the ringer fantasy football guys here, Danny Heifetz, Danny Kelly, Craig Kohlbeck. And there's only one domino left that would really affect this conversation. And of course, it's Aaron Rodgers, who maybe by the time you hear this, he'll have a team. But he couldn't resist taking an extra two days to decide between two teams that don't really want him.

It's a fight to the death between my team and Danny Hyphens' team over 41-year-old Aaron Rodgers. Literally death. It's wonderful. Yeah. Yeah. Who wants him less? If you guys had to pick between Danny wants him less. Okay. I want him more. Craig actually does want him. I do. I do want him.

Can you walk me through that? Why do you want Aaron Rodgers? Because he looked terrible last year. And anytime he got pressured, the stats are like truly abysmal. Look, as with most free agent signings, you can talk yourself into it very, very quickly. Every team right now is pretty much excited. Any signing, any D lineman that some team overspends and gives $50 million to, like your Patriots to Milton Williams.

People get overly excited about that stuff. Rodgers is easy. We're in win now mode. He's better than any other option. We've already seen the Russell Wilson experiment. I don't want to do that again. Can Aaron Rodgers throw deep balls to George Pickens and DK Metcalf? I think so.

Heifetz, you're just shaking your head sadly. So Rodgers going to the Giants and just throwing Malik neighbors on a bad Giants team in the same stadium where he sucked last year just sounds absolutely miserable, even by Giants standards. Honestly, if the Giants sign Aaron Rodgers after watching what just happened with the Jets, it reminds me of how the Giants watched Jason Garrett for 10 years and then hired Jason Garrett, where I'm almost like we almost deserve it. But I just

I don't want this person in my life for the next year. Like, let's be honest. But yeah, it makes sense in the sense that, well, we're desperate. We got nothing else going on. One, when does that work? Two,

Honestly, imagine for a second the Giants actually get Aaron Rodgers and like make the wildcard round the division around and win a playoff game. Yeah, nothing but all the other ways that this could go wrong with Malik neighbors wanting out and the whole thing being a mess. And I just I just know that this is going to go terribly. And the idea that everyone's just like, oh, we'll take a chance with Aaron Rodgers because we get fired if it doesn't work. Like, I hate this team enough. Why do we need to make them hate me? Why? Why? Why do I need to hate them even more than I already do?

Danny Kelly, you don't have a dog in this race. Yeah, yeah. But you cover football for the ringer and you're on our podcast. You must have some sort of opinion. I think it's curious that people are forgetting that Aaron Rodgers just went into New York last year and got everyone fired. Are we forgetting? Are we forgetting that little detail? I think if you look at the touchdown to interception ratio, and that is the only thing you look at and

And you don't watch the games. Don't watch the games. Don't look at their run game. Don't look at any of the other stuff outside, off the field. If you only look at the number of touchdowns he threw compared to his interceptions, that's where you could talk yourself into Aaron Rodgers. Everything else...

You can't. That's what I'm doing. I'm just looking at the touchdown interception ratio and I'm watching Enigma on repeat. Mainly the Ayahuasca episode and I'm ready to go. Do you just want Tomlin to get fired? Is that really what you're going for here? I think with the Giants, if Rodgers goes to the Giants, he could do what he did to the Jets, blow it all up. Everyone's fired. Dayball, Shane are out.

I don't really think that can happen. I don't think Rodgers can take down Mike Tomlin. I think it's a safer bet. And they are in this weird situation where it's like the roster and the defense is kind of good enough now to make a little bit of a run. So what are we supposed to do? Get Russell Wilson or Kirk Cousins? I didn't want Justin Fields back. I think it's the only thing that makes sense. Give him a two-year deal. You have a decent team. Go for it. Maybe that's the argument for Rodgers to the Giants. He's like an enema for the franchise. He just cleans everything out.

It's like that colonoscopy juice you drink when you're about to get the colonoscopy. Oh, yeah. It's a cleanse. The cleanse juice. The problem is we all watch football every week. Yeah, he's not Enigma. He was bad last year. That's his follow-up documentary. That's the second documentary. He didn't want to get hit last year. It was obvious. And...

I just, I don't think he's a winning quarterback anymore. Like I honestly, I'd rather not, not trying to push Joe Milton on everyone. Cause I know it's in my best interest as a Pats fan, but I would much rather just roll the dice with a young guy and hope they were good versus running back last year's Aaron Rogers and saying, well, now he's a year more removed from his horrible Achilles injury. And maybe he'll be crisper this time. I just don't,

I, as I've said on the pod, I think even you guys, I think Brady has ruined everyone's ability to look at this stuff rationally because Brady's ability to play until he's 45, much like LeBron, who is now 40. And like every day it's like LeBron now has the most offensive rebounds by a 40 year old ever. And they're just listening to stats because nobody else can play that long. I just think Brady's ruined it for everyone else. I don't think it's, I think the Kirk cousins path of how this goes is,

Is the more realistic way this should probably go. But Aaron Rodgers got what he wanted because we just spent five minutes talking about him on this podcast. Could have picked the team yesterday. We're the problem, actually. Yeah. So I have this whole gimmick I wanted to before we do that. I couldn't help but notice how free agency seems like it might be affecting the draft.

Because like, for instance, the Patriots, and we'll talk about them later, but they really loaded up on their defense. You know, they got another awesome defensive tackle to put hopefully with Barmore if he's healthy. So that removes Mason Graham from them at number four. I'm just, there's no way they take him now. You have the Vegas at six who traded for Gino. You have the Jets at seven who signed Justin Fields.

makes me wonder why either one of those teams would want Shador Sanders. And the two guys I heard McShay and his partner talk about yesterday, like, is there a scenario where Travis Hunter falls out of the top five? Is there a scenario where Sanders just falls because nobody in the top nine wants him? I guess my first question, Craig, is the fact that Fields is on the Jets and

and Geno's on the Vegas, cross those teams off for you as a Sanders destination. I think you can cross off the Raiders as a Sanders destination more so than the Jets. I think Fields is a bit of a bridge quarterback that you could play for a little while while Shador kind of gets his feet wet and gets his sea legs. I think the Raiders, DK has said this, I don't think Pete Carroll wants to get started with a new guy. I think he was there when Geno was in Seattle. Because he's 80? Yeah.

Because he's, yeah, they're the same age. Gino and Pete Carroll are the same age, which he loves. They can talk about the same things. And like, I think Pete Carroll wants to hit the ground running.

get nine, 10, eight, nine, 10 wins and prove that the Raiders are like a legitimate organization, build an infrastructure and attract free agency and try and free agents and try to be like a real team again and like completely change the culture. The Jets, I think they could still bring somebody in while Justin Fields is kind of a floater. Hyphens, what's more realistic? The Raiders take Shader Sanders.

Or the Raiders take Tyler Warren so they could have taken a tight end in three straight years with a top pick in the NFL draft if you had to pick one. Well, probably Tyler Warren and then you trade back up into the first round, get Colson Loveland from Michigan, get four first round tight ends. Four tight ends. No one's ever done that. So four tight end offensive impossible? Is it like a four receiver? Could you just put all of them on the line? Yeah, just make the whole thing out of Taysom Hills. I don't know. No, I agree, though. I think the Raiders, I kind of thought Shadur was going to go to the Raiders, but now that Geno Smith, I don't think Shadur would go there.

Danny Kelly, I have a counter for both of their takes. Tom Brady on the record a lot with how we rush young quarterbacks, how these guys need time to stay there and learn how you want to integrate them. That's what happened to him with the Patriots. He had like a year plus where he didn't think he was going to play and it was so helpful to him.

If there's anybody who's going to talk themselves into, we already have Gino Smith, but let's also take Sanders six and put him in the Gino Smith, Tom Brady QB camp. It would be the Raiders. I don't think it makes sense. I can't cross them off yet though. Right. I think you're right. I think,

The Tom Brady element here is what makes me feel that it's more possible. I think if it was up to Carroll completely, which I don't know exactly how the decision making is being made in that building, to be honest. But if it was purely up to Carroll, I think everything we've seen on his record is let's build up the team. Let's build up the franchise, get good offensive linemen, get good weapons, and then you drop a quarterback into the system. That's exactly what he did.

It tried to do with Seattle that he talked about it constantly. It's like the number one job of a GM and a coach is to make life easy on the quarterback. That is the number one priority. So drafting a rookie in the first year of your regime doesn't make sense to me. But if the plan is to let him sit a year or two,

You know, then it then you can I think you can make that argument and maybe Tom Brady loves Schitter enough to kind of step in and overrule. But I think right now it makes more sense for the Raiders to take like an offensive lineman or defensive lineman, something to build up the trenches, you know, and get this team ready where you can drop a young quarterback in eventually like two years down the line. Well, the Patriots are screwed because at four, we're all really hoping somebody trades up to four and they can move back and take a tackle. Jets aren't going to trade up, I don't think.

Raiders aren't going to trade up. I don't think that leaves the saints who just seem like they're in hell. We'll talk about them later. High fits my best chance for the pats for either Carter or Hunter to follow the pats at four is if your giants take Sanders at three and they add to this point. Now it is 1113 AM PT. They still have not signed Aaron Rogers, but if they don't get Aaron Rogers, the Sanders thing at three becomes a little more realistic, right?

Definitely. I mean, to be clear, I don't think any of the quarterbacks in free agency are crossing off any of these teams for the draft because Rogers is like 41. Gino is, you know, we keep joking. He's either 34, almost 35, depending whether you like the deal or not. You know, Justin Fields, 20 million bucks. Darnold. I don't think any of these. I mean, Darnold's the only one that I think a team wouldn't take a quarterback if they still like the guy. But I agree. I think the Giants with Shadur, they totally could do it. They're desperate. They need a quarterback. I also think the big thing with the Shadur in the draft is Dion. Dion is

I mean, it's not a conspiracy theory. He's out on the record saying he's going to do the Arch Manning thing. He's going to, I always get confused, Arch Archie, because the old one is the one that goes by Archie, but Archie Manning's

just like he guided Eli to the Giants. I mean, Shadur Sanders is not going to the Cleveland Browns. Deion's not letting him go to Cleveland. So I think the teams are basically the Giants. I think that, I mean, Shadur is obsessed with Tom Brady. That's the interesting part to me. Shadur had an NIL deal, I believe, with TB12. Like, Shadur mentioned Brady at his podium at the Combine, like four different questions. Tom Brady came up. They've known each other for years. And so I wouldn't be shocked there. The Saints might just take a quarterback solely because they just

don't have another path to replace Derek Carr if they don't. But I'm not really sure. I think Deion is like totally the X factor in this draft. So there's a chance. So the Giants could take him at three. They could also trade back potentially because nobody else would take him. And then

I, the saints would be the only other one that needs them. I have no idea if the Sanders family would even want to go there. Um, but I, you know, he's not good. We're these quarterbacks are not good enough to go one, two, and that you guys are doing a lot of the legwork on this. Craig, is there any scenario where the quarterbacks go one, two, because last time I checked Cleveland doesn't need a quarterback and just traded for one that we'll talk about in the next segment. Um, why wouldn't they just take Sanders if he was good enough? Yeah.

I think there's always a chance that bad quarterbacks go way too soon in the draft. This is what's wrong with the draft process. It's too long. You end up talking yourself into this stuff. You get desperate. So the first three picks in the draft all need quarterbacks, the Titans, the Browns, and the Giants. I think I'd be surprised if two quarterbacks don't go in the first three picks. Wow.

What do you think, Danny Kelly? I mean, I think, yeah, it would, the top three teams need quarterbacks. This is a, you know, you traditionally see teams get a little bit desperate for the quarterback position. I think if, if in, in a vacuum, you probably wouldn't put Ward and Schroeder as top three picks, um, you know, types of guys that you would give that type of grade to, but the NFL is desperate for quarterbacks. You need to, you need a quarterback. Um,

So I don't know if I would say I wouldn't be surprised if they go in the top three, but it wouldn't be shocking at the same time if they both go top three. Heifetz, who's the most shocking person you could see actually going in the top four of this draft? I mean, I think Armand Membu. I don't know if that's shocking or not, but I think that the Patriots, I mean, if the Patriots are sitting there and like, let's just say Travis Hunter and Abdel Carter are gone, then at this point, it's kind of like,

you're going defensive line, offensive line, maybe. And I think the teams are going to have really different grades in this draft. I think that styles fits. This is a big draft. I think we're just,

There's like a Rorschach test on a lot of players that think that it's kind of like, you know, beauties of the eye of the beholder. So I think that you're going to have a lot of different positional rankings around team to team on how they look at some of these pass rushers, the interior guys, the offensive linemen. So, I mean, a lot of teams might have very different offensive tackle stacks and different edge rusher stacks. So I wouldn't be shocked if the Patriots just go with, I don't know,

Jalen Walker is one of the Georgia guys. We don't know which guys Mike Vrabel is going to prefer, so it might be really surprising top five. Membo could be the fast riser guy. Yeah. Because I know, Craig, did you measure your arm length? Is it over 33 inches? Do you think you could block...

Could you block an edge rusher? Cause you got to get to 33 plus inches. Apparently. Well, Campbell's only at 32. How does that translate to height? I actually have kind of long. I'm like a six, five wingspan. So you could probably plug me into an offensive line. I might just need to get your hands far enough out to shove the guy back. And apparently we'll Campbell that extra half inch. Yep. There's no way we could take them for it. I've said this before. It matters a lot to some people. So the pads can, that's not everything. Correct. Yeah.

the Pats cannot take Will Campbell fourth when we're not positive if he's a guard or a tackle. I've said that already. I just feel like if there's any doubt whatsoever, like at that point, just take Membo because everyone's like, he's definitely left tackle. We don't know how good he is, but I've been thinking about this a lot. I'm on a lot of threads. I like what the Pats did. We'll talk about that later. But the one mistake you can make, I think, is when you're drafting this high to take somebody just out of need. I have never seen that really happen.

work, right? Danny Kelly, how many drafts have you covered for us at this point? Has the, ah, this is too high, but we really need this guy. I just don't remember that ever really working. Yeah, it's desperation. It just doesn't work in the draft. I think you just take a good player, take a player that you know is going, and this is what the Eagles do every year.

And this is the reason we always give the Eagles good grades in these draft grades is that they just end up taking good players regardless of where, you know, where they're needed or where their need is. Like they keep taking defensive linemen, even though they have one of the best D lines in the NFL. They keep building on a strength, build in the trenches, take premium positions. It just makes sense. And I think especially in a draft like this where.

the tackle class is really deep. You could get a good tackle in the second round in theory. You can get a defensive tackle in the second round. You don't have to take Mason Graham in the first round necessarily, even though I think those guys are really good. I think Will Campbell's really good. I think Mason Graham's really good. I think this is exactly the type of draft where you don't have to take for need. You can just take what player you think is the best player. Craig, who's your, I wouldn't be shocked if they went in the top four guy because mine is the tight end.

Oh, I think Tyler Warren. Yeah, I just really I think between four and nine, all of those guys are right around the same. If you don't need Travis Hunter, which I don't know if the Pats do because they just spent on a quarterback. But I just feel like you could talk yourself into the running back or the tight end pretty easily. And you could talk yourself into Mambo and you could talk yourself into the edge rusher from Georgia. It kind of depends on our Stewart.

From Texas A&M. He's another guy. Craig, who's your sleeper? I don't really know if it's a sleeper. I'm not going to pretend like I'm super dialed in on the offensive tackle situation in the draft this year, but the...

The guy who I think could go top four, maybe for a slight trade-up. I just think there's a lot of teams in the top 10 who need wide receivers. I think Ted McMillan out of Arizona is awesome and really underrated. And I think because it's a week-wide receiver class, he's at number one. And I think people kind of

undersell him a little bit because the rest of the class is weak, so it's hard to determine how good he is. But I really think he is one of the better wide receivers we've seen in the last five years. The Pats need a wide receiver. The Jags need a wide receiver. The Raiders need a wide receiver. The Panthers need a wide receiver. All these teams are top 10, and I think all of them could make a move to get Tett. Yeah, sometimes it...

It worries me when there's only one really good guy at a position because by comparison to the other guys, you can almost overrate them. Right. It's like, I don't know, going to a bar and there's one good looking person in the bar and like, man, that guy's so handsome. And it's like, yeah, that girl is so incredible. Missouri 10, but an LA 5. Yeah. That's the only part that worries me with that. I do wonder with the Penn State tight end though, with everybody so...

worried about offensive lines. How can we block? Like that guy is an old school. I can block, I can catch. And like, even for the pats, if you just add him and it's like, this would be Drake Mays, number one, move the chain guy. This guy will help us with the black. We'll figure out the left tackle. But at least we have like, I don't know if you take them at four, but you could talk me into it. All right. I think that's a huge mistake.

Tyler Warren is a huge mistake. That's a massive mistake. I'm prepared for anything. It's scarcity, though. It's such a deep tight end draft. It's similar to Ashton Gentry and running back. I think Ashton Gentry is a better running back prospect than Tyler Warren is a tight end. But the way I look at it is, as the team, as a Giants fan, they took Saquon Barkley, number two.

They could have had like Nick Chubb with the 35th pick. As you notice, Saquon didn't help the Giants, did he? And I look at it as why would you want Ashton Gentry with a top 10 pick when you can get all these other running backs, maybe in the third, maybe the fourth round. There's so many available. There are so many tight ends that can help you in the third round. Whereas this is unless you thought this guy is awesome. That would be the thing. If you think he's a top three guy at the position for the next 10 years, I think you have to think of it differently. Yeah.

But there's so many defensive tackles and defensive ends where I'm like, you can't get those. I wouldn't do it. I'm just prepared for anything. It does feel like we're obsessed with saying that a new tight end is generational every year. It was like Kyle Pants, we had Brock Bowers. You never know if it's going to work. I think you guys should do this with your podcast. Talk about it's like a generational fantasy football podcast. Sigma, the word generational is used. People just pay attention more. DK, do you buy the whole Genties...

on par with Bijan and Saquon for running backs in like the last 12 years as like that caliber prospect? I put him one tier below that, I think. I think he's really good. He breaks a ton of tackles. In fact, I think he broke PFF's record for broken tackles in his season last year. So he's obviously, you know, gyroscopic balance.

breaks a ton of tackles. He's really slippery. He has some explosiveness to him. I just don't think I put him quite on the level of like the Saquon B. John, you know, Adrian Peterson tier where this is a last 20 years. This is actual a generational pick. You know what I mean? I think he is one one slight tier down and that's not a knock on him. I think he's really good, but I don't think I'm quite ready to put him in that tier. Well, for the Pats, I hope it's Carter Hunter.

And if it's not that, it's a trade down. We're going to take a break and we'll be back with the generational fantasy football guys from the ringer right after this. This episode is brought to you by Michelob Ultra. Michelob Ultra, a superior light beer and the ultimate trophy. Win or lose, you're bound to enjoy the ride with a good beer in hand. Michelob Ultra, crisp, refreshing, only 95 calories, a superior light beer.

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This episode is brought to you by the new MGM Plus original series, Nine Bodies in a Mexican Morgue. All right, here's one for the mystery fans. There are 10 passports, nine bodies, and one deadly secret. That's the setup for Nine Bodies in a Mexican Morgue, the new MGM Plus original series that'll keep you guessing till the very end. A plane crashes deep in the jungle. Nine passengers survive until they don't. One by one, the survivors start dying in brutal, mysterious ways.

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Trying to just blindside you. Giving out awards, but the awards are all from the glory years of comedy as Craig Krolbeck has anointed the 2000s right up to this is the end. Take me back. Just all of the movies from there. I'm just giving out awards. I wrote some down. Maybe you'll even come up with a couple as we're talking. The first award is

is the Seth Rogen, Katherine Heigl knocked up award for we've known each other for a week. Let's do this. That goes to the Seattle Seahawks, Danny Kelly's favorite team. They traded Gino and they traded DK Metcalf for a third and a second. And then they said, we're all in. We're ignoring the last two weeks of the season. They didn't happen. Sam Darnold, three years.

110 million. Let's do this. Let's get married. Uh, Danny Kelly, walk us. I know you did this on your pod yesterday, but walk, walk my audience through this. Uh, what could go wrong? Um, so here's the deal. Sam Darnold. I don't think he's as good as Gino Smith. However, he is 27 years old. He's quite a bit younger. He's probably going to be cheaper. I think at the end of the day. Um, and there is this theory or scenario where he could turn out to be

a longer term solution for the Seahawks at quarterback. Right now, this contract is actually very middling. It's a middle class contract. They can get out of it if they really had to after a year, probably, even though it's the Mayfield contract, right? Basically the same thing. They're hoping that he can turn into a long term solution for them at the quarterback position, whereas I don't think Gino was they don't really consider him that I think, you know, and I said this yesterday. It's like

Teams tell you what they think of players with their actions. Seahawks clearly didn't believe Geno was a long-term answer for them. And so they got out while they could and they get a new guy in here. I think there's also the element of

putting the Pete Carroll era to rest for good. DK Metcalf, Gino Smith, obviously two guys that were really close to Pete Carroll. And now this is like fully a new era in Seahawks football. Certainly a new era. You're right on that. Yeah. So I would say like, I'm not,

I'm not super, super optimistic about it. I would hope that. I can see the logic or the rationale for doing it. But I think with the Seahawks lack of, now they have no weapons receiver with just JSN. Just JSN getting double teamed. Yeah, JSN. And then if you could name the second best receiver on the Seahawks right now, like,

I'll give you 10 points, but it's like Jake Bobo or who I don't even know. Yeah. They need like a, like a big guy who's fast. You can go deep, kind of tilt the field visor field tilter. Who's kind of in his prime with the initial, initial acronym as a first name. Yeah. Yeah. So that's an acronym. I really like personally.

Is there a possibility of Stefan Diggs coming off another injury? Just being surly about Sam Darnold being his quarterback, but you're paying him 17 million a year.

Is that in play or no? Possibly. I believe him and Clint Kubiak have overlapped at one point in time. So probably not. But coming off of an injury, also the baggage that I think he would bring, I would hope that wouldn't be their solution. I don't know. DeAndre Hopkins, maybe? I think he's still a free agent. Danny, cover your ears. It's bleak. Cover your ears for this part. Yeah, don't even listen to this part.

Danny, other Danny and Craig. Um, I kind of liked Gino Smith. I thought he was running for his life the last two years. They couldn't block for him at all. He was good at the end of games. He wasn't great, but he was good. And I get that he's 34 years old, but, um, I don't know. This just feels like moving chairs around on a boat. That's sinking. What was your take, Craig?

I think Kevin O'Connell is too good of a quarterback's coach where I don't think I would ever take a quarterback from the Vikings because the situation is so perfect. The offensive line, the weapons, Kevin O'Connell turned Josh Dobbs into a Hall of Famer for a month.

that going to Seattle with very minimal weapons in a terrible offensive line Bill Barnwell wrote that the Seahawks have spent the least amount of money on their offensive line in the league right now 2025 this sounds like a disaster the interior offensive line is getting blown up in front of Gino Smith's face every game and now we're expecting Sam Darnold to deal with that I wouldn't look it's like he's on the Jets again it's like he's a little bit oh no a little bit sorry Danny

Hi, Fitz, what do you got? Danny, you can remove your ears now. Yeah, take your earmuffs off. Hi, Fitz, what do you got? I just, I look at the Darnold thing. It reminds me of, I remember when I was a kid, there were all these like toy commercials and they would like have these trucks and planes and they all look so sick in the commercial. Like, oh my God, there's like dirt everywhere. And then like the toy would come and I'd open and be like,

This isn't really as cool as it was in the commercial. And I think that's kind of how the Sam Darnold experience is going to go in Seattle. I think he's probably the new version of exactly what your surroundings are. He's a reflection of the coaching and surrounding talent. The Vikings had Justin Jefferson, who's the best receiver in the league. Jordan Addison is a first-round pick. TJ Hawkinson recovered from injury, but he's a first-round tight end. Kevin O'Connell, a top-five play caller, quarterback guru in the NFL, and a solid offensive line-ish. Average, slightly below average, scheme made the offensive line better in Minnesota. Seahawks have...

They're a draft and develop team that cannot develop offensive linemen, which is kind of their whole problem. So you have one of the worst offensive lines in the league. Jackson Smith and Jake, but I feel like it's going to be like the Chris Olave for Clint Kubiak. And then again, as DK said, nobody at receiver. So I think Sam Darnold will probably reflect how the Seahawks are just a worse version of Minnesota. Like they're not as good. And so I look at this as the money is fine. The money is actually very reasonable contract. But overall, I just look at this as I think it's a mix of

You wanted to get younger, which is weird because Gino Smith, the youngest 34 year old in the NFL and Sam. He's like one of those boxers that was in jail for 10 years. Exactly. 38. But he's the heavyweight champ now. Yeah. Sam Donald's played more games last 10 years than Gino has. So Sam was 27. But this is his 15. So he's the oldest 27 year old. So it's kind of weird. But overall, I just look at it as they probably got worse. And there's a vision here. But the reality is this is a huge risk.

And also, I just think there's a defensive coach element here of just sometimes when Gino throws so many picks, it's kind of like you want that to be on the coach's terms sometimes. And and I just I don't know. Sometimes I wonder if they just want someone who'll just listen to what you're going to tell them to do. On paper, getting seven years younger.

Getting a third round pick and seemingly going sideways at quarterback is a strategy that makes sense. But I thought, I just thought Gino was in a really hard situation last year. I was shocked to find out Gino was 34.

I somehow didn't realize he was that old. And it sent me on a Geno deep dive that led me to the ESPN piece about when his teammate punched him in 2015. Oh, I read like four stories about that. And I was like, this is how has this not been an untold episode yet? So quick, quick question. Does the what you just said, though, about how Tom Brady kind of changed everything about what we should expect from older quarterbacks? Does that not apply to Geno because of

basically he took six or seven years of backup and he didn't really take any hits or whatever is this or or possible you know should we pay attention to this i mean for vegas he's got bowers who's got one of the best weapons in the league i assume they'll have like that they'll probably have a couple signings coming i guess um he's going to be in in some fun games new scene new scenario i'm happy for him um

I didn't really like what the Seahawks did. DK, I'm sorry. That's okay. The next one. Next award. Normal. It's the Brick Tamlin killed the guy award for the seemingly okay situation that got completely out of hand way too fast. And that would be the left tackle drought.

This hit the point. Craig, you rooted for Dan Moore as your left tackle for years. My God. Was there ever a world in any game where you were like, this guy, I bet he's going to make $20 million a year next year? Because it happened. He got $50 million guaranteed by the Titans. Dan Moore, four years, $82 million, $50 million guaranteed. The Steelers' offensive line has been bad for as long as I can remember. It was your biggest weakness. And Dan Moore was never...

uh, a site for sore eyes on that offensive line. I'm happy to see him go. I offered to fly him to Tennessee. So we have him, we have Jayla Moore. It wasn't even a starter to Casey for two for 30. Yep. The Ravens resigned Ronnie Stanley for 60 million, a guy I wanted for the pats. And then I texted with Mallory Ravens fan and she's like, I didn't want us to keep him. He gets hurt all the time. Too many false starts. So congrats to them. Uh,

Allard Johnson on the Rams for three for 58 actually seems like one of the best deals anyone got. And then Washington trades a second for Tunsil, which was shocking on paper. And then I think everyone kind of realized the Texans weren't exactly like the, uh, the hogs in the eighties. Um, and now we have this draft coming where, uh,

Will Campbell and, and Membo and banks might all go five to six spots too high. Cause we still have what? Six, seven teams that still don't have a left tackle.

Not to mention Trent Williams of the Niners who could retire like tomorrow and nobody would be surprised. And Armstead on Miami, like God only knows what happens to him year to year. What about you? How are you feeling about your new 34-year-old tackle? He's not even a left tackle. He's a right tackle. We still don't have a left tackle. DK, what happened here? Why are we out of left tackles? Why is this such a drought?

I mean, I think this is kind of becoming a cliche at this point, but it's just all about the lack of development in college football of offensive linemen. The schemes are wide open. They play wider splits. They don't actually do the real type of pass blocking that you see in the NFL or run blocking that you see in the NFL. I think there's a...

you know, lack of development coming up from college game to the pros. And you see these teams have to develop guys. You're basically now just taking good athletes and hoping that they can, you can teach them to block in a lot of cases, not, not always, but in a lot of Jordan, a lot of strategy.

Right. And I mean, you know, in this class in particular, and you've mentioned this, but a lot of the top tackles in this class are maybe guards. You know what I mean? They're either not quite long enough arm length or, you know, maybe not quite enough foot speed or whatever. Playing left tackle in the NFL, playing right tackle either side now.

There's so many good pass rushers. The best athletes on the NFL field are pass rushers. And it's an extremely, extremely difficult job to be a left tackle or to be a right tackle. So I think it's just a development issue. It's a...

issue where all the best athletes are going to the defensive line instead of the offensive line. And I think, you know, the best teams in the NFL, the teams with the best offensive lines are putting a ton of resources into a ton of money and have really good coaching at those positions. Like the offensive line coaches is a huge like competitive advantage right now in the NFL, I think. So it's just the number of variables. Would you say it's the second most important position now behind quarterback because of how scarce it is?

Would you put it over every other position? I think so. Yeah. Would you, Haifetz? I would. I mean, if you look at the demand, I mean, I know they're not paying left tackles as much as defensive ends, but I mean, I think it is. I mean, you look at the Eagles. I mean, for all we make fun of Nick Sirianni, Jeff Stoutland is the offensive line run game coordinator there is. I mean, if he disappeared, I think the whole thing would collapse. He's the MVP of the team because you look and they're like, Jordan Mailata never played football. He's like a top five right tackle. You take Mekhi Becton. The Jets couldn't do anything with him. He starts for the on the offensive line today. They

Eagles traded for Kenyon Green, the Texans guard, who's a first-round pick, who's been unplayable for them. Guess what? The Eagles are going to fix him. And so what you have is, to your point about the offensive line thing, we've gone from this program-era football to playbooks. It's like they used to have, Brady's talked about this, like Michigan was a program. You'd be with your NFL team, it was a program. And now it's playbooks, all these kids, high school, college, everything's different. The game's more spread out, as DK said. But also, you're not teaching as many fundamentals. The game itself has changed. You get to the NFL, they're half as prepared, and you get half the time you used to practice with. So they're just not developing it.

So the handful of remaining coaches who can develop the skills, overwhelming advantage to those teams. That's one of the secret reasons the Eagles have been so good is they're just become an offensive line factory because one of the few teams can coach guys up. So now left tackles, there's so much demand. They're like egg prices. You're looking, you're like $9 for eggs. I'm like 20. Dan Moore Jr. is getting more money than Lane Johnson.

This is why the Pats are going to take Bimbo. Craig, are you an Anchorman 1 fight guy or an Anchorman 2 fight guy? I think I'm an Anchorman 1 guy in every respect over Anchorman 2. Every respect? I think that's fair to say, yeah. Here's my issue. Anchorman 2, is that the one where he had the shark...

in the lighthouse scene. What I didn't like is that scene where he's pretending. That's the same scene as Talladega Nights where he has the knife in his leg. It's just the same scene, but there's a shark instead of a knife. I haven't seen Anchorman 2 since it came out. I saw it and I let it sit there. I think Stonewall Jackson's good. I genuinely think they made Anchorman 2 as a movie that

people wouldn't think was good for 15 years and would have this belated, you know, it's actually really awesome. Anchorman too. I think we're right heading into the zone right now where it's going to come back and become a thing. They should have made the original pitch for Anchorman. Wasn't it just the original pitch was just a plane crash in a mountain and the plane just had like scorpions and like throwing knives. They should have just made that the second movie.

Still haven't done Anchorman on the rewatchables. Craig doesn't want to do it. Oh, here's one for you, Craig. The Dracula the Music Award for I Can't Believe This Actually Worked Out. It's Dracula the Musical. Yeah. There's no way that should have been a good scene. And it turns out to be one of the best, funniest scenes of the movie. The odds were like 201.

I feel like the Patriots free agency has worked out. I can't believe it. We had all this money to spend. We have a cheap owner. They were saying how free agency wasn't that good. I get it. We overspent a tiny bit on Milton Williams.

I love Spillane. He was one of my favorite non-Patriots on Sunday ticket every Sunday. The guy's just an absolute animal. Enjoyed Matt Collins. Um, yeah, Matt Collins. I do like locker room. Josh jobs. We're trying to get locker room guys. We're trying to win our locker room, but Jamal Williams on the saints who just got waved. Let's bring him in too. Let's get locker room guys. Matt Collins. You save money on shoes cause he doesn't wear them. So that's nice. There you go. Right. Sounds great. Anyway, uh,

I'm genuinely excited for the Pats defense, Craig. Talk me out of it. Craig, do the song. Got Barmore coming back. Kyle Duggar healthy. Yeah, he's got to do the song first. Gonzalez and Davis. Wow, you can zag on this. Go ahead. It's getting kind of hard to believe things are going to get better. No, I can't tell. Dracula musical. Dracula. I can do something else.

No, I think you've you've I don't know if it's just me reading your tweets or what, but I do think that what the Patriots have done is rock solid. It's not sexy. It's not flashy, but they've brought in a lot of guys that feel like variable guys. Some of them have history with variable Carl Davis, cornerback, great pick Harold Landry, Robert Spillane.

Morgan Moses, Milton Williams. Spillane's like an old school 2003 Pats guy. Like I could have totally seen him next to McGinnis and Vrabel. We always talk on our show. We always talk about culture and how that's the most important thing. And if you build that first, everything else follows. And it does feel like, I mean, the Patriots did not have a culture last year. I don't have to tell you that. And Vrabel is bringing in guys who build a culture. So even though no one here is super flashy and my dad's not going to text me about any of these signings.

It makes a lot of sense. And it's very, it's rock solid. DK, when do we get the text from Mina in like June or July that she studied all the defenses and thinks the Pats can have a top five defense? Like June 20th? When is that? Yeah, something right around there. The thing I like about the Pats, what they've done in free agency is it's kind of like the perfect example of what teams should do in free agency, which is

hedging against what you're going to potentially have to do in the draft. So the Pats can go any direction now with their pick in the first round and all their picks really because they they address the interior defensive line. You know, they added linebacker. They added a starting corner. They added a right tackle. I think the one thing they still really need is

is a receiver. Yeah, game-breaking. A guy who can make a big play every once in a while. But they don't have to take that with their first rounder. They could go for a second-round guy, and I think he could still be a contributor. That's the kind of class this is. So they've hedged, so they're not being painted into a corner at any one position. Like we said just before, having to be desperate at any position is just a bad play to make. So that's the one really, I think, just smart thing that they've done in free agency is they've addressed...

basically all their big needs other than receiver so far. I think it's like we've been aligned for the entire 2020s with our two dumb franchises and just doing dumb shit and spending money on the wrong guys and picking the wrong players and just the overall sense of there's no plan at all.

You're still in that. You're still mired in that hell. And maybe this won't work out, but I actually like that there seems to be a plan for the Patriots where they're like, let's build through the lines. Let's get culture guys. Let's get guys who, if you go to the Reddits of each team that lost the guy, like I went to the Raiders Reddit.

110 posts about Spillane. Yeah. People were like, oh man, I'm happy our guy got a bag, but it really, it really bums me out. I was like, okay, this is great. Uh, the Harold Landry Titans Reddit wasn't awesome. Um, that was the one where there might've been an overpay, but I also think that's Rabel's guy, but do you at least feel like there's a plan here?

Yeah, there's a plan. They're like everyone else. Honestly, Bill, I'm stunned by this. I feel like you victory lapping, winning free agency feels like the final death throw of the Patriots dynasty. Like, I cannot believe literally, literally Belichick used to laugh at the teams that would spend all this money on day one. He wouldn't be in Cape Cod. He wouldn't be at the facility on the first day of free agency. Right. And honestly, it actually I actually felt a little bad for the Patriots that you were so excited about. I didn't realize how bad it was. She was.

You're just angry. I just feel like there's anger. No, I think that... Look, generally speaking, these kind of handing out all this money doesn't work, generally speaking. Like, again, most free agency is just a collection of players that teams saw these guys day in, day out for five years and were like, eh, I'm good. You can leave. And so you've got to find the gems. I will say, I do like...

when teams do what Vrabel did, where you're like, Vrabel is a culture coach. And when a culture coach has a right to bring in his guys. So Harold Landry, not been the same since the ACL, but that's a Titans guy. Robert Spillane started for the Titans. Robert Spillane's the ultimate. Like if you watch the Raiders games, he's everywhere. Any game Robert Spillane plays, you're like, damn, he's everywhere. Spillane is like the guy in the program who just was out of control. And then it turned out, but I'm not saying he did that, but it was just like, he's everywhere. And you're like, oh my God, this guy's a maniac. Yeah.

That's what he was like all last year. And Carlton, I actually think Carlton Davis is great. I mean, he broke his jaw, but I think honestly what Carlton Davis does for his cornerback, he was in the Bucks for a long time. And then the Lions, Carlton Davis let you play man coverage. Well, and then the Pats DC had him. Yes. So they, I mean, cause he was on the Lions last year. That was one of the things that seems like they were grabbing a lot of dudes that they had a history with, which made me feel.

Better, right? That's usually how it goes. I think the Davis thing's huge because you can play man coverage now. Very few teams have the cornerbacks to play man coverage. I think that flexibility is awesome. I think the cult you're overpaying for culture. Frankly, I think that having all this money reflects how little players you've drafted recently worthy of extending. Yes.

He's a rotational player. I don't think he's being paired with Christian Barmore. If anything, I think Christian Barmore, the blood clots, I don't know what's happening with his career. Like if anything, I think that that might kind of come out after the draft. I don't know what's going on there. Overall, I think it's okay to just pay a ton of money to bootstrap yourself back to being competitive, which is what I think this is. But also rarely does it work where you're spending all this money in free agency and everything's fixed. But honestly, the Patriots roster was so barren that

They do need to just do something. But overall, you kind of look at these deals in two years and suddenly two years later, like, oh, well, if we cut Milton Williams, we could save like 16 million dollars. That's generally how it goes. You say you're that Belichick would be laughing and not even be paying attention. But it's Belichick's fault that the Patriots roster is in this position. If you look at Billy, you sent me, I think, just.

screenshots of their drafts. I sent you like four drafts in a row. 2017, 2018, 2019, 2020, even 2016. There's not really. Don't forget about trading back out of the Trent McDuffie spot and then taking Cole Strange right in front of Carl Loftus. The all-time double win. Did you trade out of the Ladd-McConkie spot too? Yeah. We did that last year. The quarterback the Chargers got had more catches than the receiver the Patriots got, which is the summary of the deal.

My point is basically, look, it takes a little bit for it to really show up and make an impact. But if you miss on a draft bus or if you miss on two or three draft buses... You miss on two in a row, it's death. A couple of years later, your roster looks really bleak and then you have to spend in free agency to just fill the holes. Because those are the types of guys that are supposed to come in and play role-playing positions, be...

starters at the very least. And if you get zero of those guys in a draft or if you get zero of those guys in two or three drafts, your roster is bad after a couple of years. So that's exactly what happened here. Craig, if they take Hunter four and say he's going to be our number one receiver, but we're also going to use him as a nickelback, is that one of the most exciting developments of the season? Because it would be for me.

I understand that it would be for you. I don't know if it would be for me the most exciting, but Heifetz has convinced me on Travis Hunter that wherever he goes, it will be incredibly exciting. I think I was a little bit lukewarm on him, but I've come around now that maybe the guy who played two positions in college and nobody said he could do that, maybe he can just continue doing that in the pros. Maybe he could just be awesome as a pro. Can you do a little more attractive of the musical before we move on? And if I see Van Helsing, I swear I will slay him!

All right. Next one. The Borat stays at an old Jewish couple's bed and breakfast award for, uh-oh, I have a bad feeling about this one. That goes to the Jets and Justin Fields. Two years, $40 million. We've all kind of glossed over this. And I got to say, I've heard some takes about he was doing well with the Steelers before they put in Russ. It's like, no, he wasn't.

No, he wasn't. Craig, you were, you're a Steelers fan. You were watching those games. Did Justin Fields ever at any point make you feel like we've got our guy? No. Lock him down. Of course not. We watched those games. It was like the whole reason Russell Wilson got the job is because Fields wasn't quite good enough as a starter. There,

There are certain guys with a rushing floor, but such a limited ceiling where you're so trapped in mediocrity where Justin Fields is just fine enough that if the rest of the team is okay, you can win seven, eight games, which is probably what the Steelers would have done had he stayed the starter. But,

The Jets, Heifetz went on a whole rant. I should just have him do it again. Do it again, Heifetz. Justin Fields is the most Jetsy quarterback ever. Go ahead, Heifetz. I mean, Justin Fields was born to be a New York Jet. He's been practicing for this his entire life. He was bathed in the light of the New York Jets. I cannot think of a more Jetsy Jet that hasn't been a Jet yet. It reminds me, critical factors to being a Jet. Slightly famous enough that people know your name. Exciting enough that when fans pull up your highlight reel, they're going to talk themselves into it.

and gonna have moments where there's a Jets fans who don't want to be in are going to get reeled in. However, you also have to be bad enough where, you know, start to finish the entire time. It has no chance of working. And that is Justin Fields to a, to a T that was Le'Veon Bell. I mean, that was like Braylon. There were all these Jets free agents in the past that you're like, there was no chance this was ever going to work. And you feel stupid for ever talking yourself into it, but they did talk you into it. Justin Fields is like the epitome of it. And I, I,

I can't believe I didn't see this coming in advance because Justin Fields, he was honestly born for this. Neil O'Donnell was another great one way back when. You left out one thing with your Jets blueprint, which I agreed with. I thought you did a great job. Like around week six when it starts getting sad and they come back from commercial and it's like,

Chiefs 34, Jets 3, and they're just showing a sad guy in the stands with a Fields jersey on. That's the last piece of it. Because the Jets fans will buy in and they will buy the jersey. And then around week six, week eight, it's sad. I just, I don't think he's a starting quarterback in the sense of you can actually win playoff games with him. DK, you agree with that, right? I mean, yeah. I was one of Justin Fields' biggest believers. Yeah, I remember. I loved him. I just think he doesn't,

He just holds onto the ball too damn long. It is the fatal flaw. He will get a great win. That's one other aspect of a Jets quarterback, much like Zach Wilson. Zach Wilson beat the Chiefs one game. Justin Fields will beat the Bills in week six, and everybody will love it.

And then that'll be the only thing they can talk about for the next eight weeks when they go one in seven. The problem is you never know. I mean, never know. Baker Bryce last year, Bryce Young outplayed CJ Stroud. If I had told you that at the end of September, you would have laughed me out of the room if you thought that's how the rest of the year would go. Like, you never know. But he's going to be more exciting than Aaron Rodgers on the field, though. Yeah. Well, there's so there's that.

Yeah. And I think the fans will want them to succeed. All right. We're taking a break and I got more words. This message is a paid partnership with Apple card. If you want to take control of your finances, Apple card is where it starts. A credit card that can give you up to 3% daily cash back on every purchase. I have one. I can tell you this is true. I know and love Apple card. So many places I can use it, especially during a busy time here with football, basketball, the holidays.

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It's the Seth drinks too much and accidentally headbutts Emma Stone award. This goes to the Jaguars. I never understand what they do year after year, but this year they waived Christian Kirk so they could spend one year, 10 million on Deami Brown. And I just wanted to flag it. It's a seemingly small thing. Nobody's hurt.

It's an innocent kind of dopey free agency thing, but it just, to me, sums up the Jaguars. Like just keep Christian Kirk and don't wave them and don't take the cap hit on him. Now you're taking a cap hit on him and you're paying Deami Brown who had what one good playoff game. I just, I don't think the Jaguars will ever get it. And one of the reasons I'll never get it is because the owner's son who runs the team also runs AEW and writes all the scripts for it every week. And I just don't think they're on the ball is my take. Yeah.

literally Tony Khan, the son of the owner of the Jags, showed up, I think last year's draft, was it, where he had the neck brace from whatever they were doing at AEW? Yeah, because he was doing an AEW bit, yeah. Yeah, which is a good summation of how the Jags are run. But yeah, giving Diami Brown $10 million, he doesn't have 800 receiving yards in his entire career. But I just keep thinking about when we were at the NFL combine in Indianapolis, I went to the press conference for the new GM of the Jaguars. It said Jaguars GM TBD on the list because they had just hired him like four days earlier. And then like this Jaguars,

PR staffer comes up and adjust the mic and then just starts talking. And I was like, oh my God, this guy's the Jags GM. He's 34 years old. We called him Doogie Howser because he just looks like a child is running this team. And then you look what they're doing. And I'm like, well, either Trent Balky, they just used all his homework that he had collected or it's an actual child running the team because nothing they've done makes very much sense.

It's been terrible the whole time. And somehow they almost beat the Patriots in a pivotal game in Foxborough and were leading in the second half with Blake Bortles. And that was like the one moment. I think for your show next year, I think Craig shows up for the combine with an old school Ray Allen Sonics jersey and tries to pick a fight with Jordan Schultz because his dad...

is the reason. That's good. I can match his size a little bit. I'll tell him to pick on somebody your own size. It's a good battle. I think it's good publicity for the show and I just think it's a good game plan. Anything else on the Jags before we move on? The Jordan Lewis contract was the worst contract anyone's given out for agency so far. He's a 30-year-old cornerback who is

Like it's a 30 year old slot. 30 year old cornerbacks don't get paid guaranteed money and slot cornerbacks don't get a ton of money. Jordan Lewis, I believe the Cowboys gave him two and a half million dollars last year. He's getting 10. He had 20 million guaranteed 30 overall. I actually don't know if he wouldn't gotten five from another team. It's actually an inexplicable contract to give him 20 million guaranteed when he's basically the oldest cornerback who's signed so far.

The Jags. They never disappoint. All right. This next award is from Bridesmaids. It's the Annie takes sedatives and has a drink on the airplane award for single worst game plan. That goes to the Cincinnati Bengals, who seem to be the only team that doesn't realize you should just pay your guys six months early instead of a year and a half too late. And a lot of people have been talking about this this week, but they're just fucked because they haven't taken care of Chase.

They franchise tag Kagan's. He'll probably hold out. Hendrickson wants to trade. And then in the middle of this, they paid $8 million a year for Mike Gusecki, which is like, so you guys need to find money, but you're also going to pay this tight end. This is the easiest position to find anybody for a million dollars. I don't understand what they're doing. I will say this though, Trey Hendrickson,

last year was unblockable down the stretch. I know their defense sucked, but that guy was beast. And I don't understand any of this. Danny Kelly, can you explain one aspect of it or are they just cheap? Is it they're just cheap is the answer? I think the Gusecki thing is very interesting. Who are they competing against? Who are they negotiating against with that one? I'm curious. And then why would you sign Samaj P. Ryan?

Spend any amount of money on a running back when you... Right. You just find that guy in August. You just picked a guy in the sixth round who is your starting running back in Chase Brown, or fifth round, or whatever it was. I mean, learn that lesson, is that you don't have to put any money towards the running back position. Save it all for T. Higgins and Jamar Chase. But if you look at all their signings, it's basically just like, man, you really should be using this money to extend your superstar players, and you can just find all these other guys in the draft.

It's like they're procrastinating. It's like they have a big paper due and instead they're like organizing their closet and signing Samaj P. Fine and signing Mike Zickey. I'm vacuuming my house instead of working. I'm really hoping for Joe Burrow to go NBA player on this whole thing.

And start like the best thing that the NFL is if Joe Burrow is represented by clutch and just leaking passive aggressive stuff out like they better take care of these guys or else. I feel like he already has. But nobody takes it seriously in the NFL because it's such like a facelift. We really needs to own it. Can you. Well, Miles Garrett was the closest I thought anyone would come and that he took the money. But I will say Joe Burrow. Imagine being Joe Burrow and spending the whole year just campaigning. I'm like, pay Jamar Chase, pay T. Higgins, pay my guys.

And then you get the note. He gets the notification on his phone and it says, Bangle sign Mike Kosicki to $24 million. And he's like, what? Like, I can't even imagine being burrowed that moment. Yeah, that's terrible. Are you upset Kristen Wiig didn't make more comedies, correct? You know, there was like two more bridesmaids in her and just she didn't want it. Now she's tried. She made that like Barb and Star go to Boca Raton or whatever. I didn't watch that. It hasn't worked for her. Yeah, I'm surprised there was no show. Wasn't great.

Yeah. I'm surprised there's no wedding crashers, which team shit in the middle of the street. Listen, wedding crashers is coming up. We do have a wedding thing. Yeah. Bridesmaids are shitting in the middle of the street. Oh, we have. This is happening. It's right now. Coincidentally, it's our next award. It's the Melissa McCarthy. Look away. Look away. That award, which has to go to the Saints.

I don't think there's a more depressing team in the league than the saints. They, I tried to understand the Derek Carr thing where they, uh, they're paying him more this year, but they also don't really want him as their quarterback. And it just seems like they're punting on this season. And they're like, well,

from a million years ago when Sean Payton was here and we just kept pushing. Like, I don't really fully understand the NFL salary cap and all the machinations of it because it just seems like you can just keep shoving money forward and do what the Chiefs do and some other teams. But the rub of it is this Derek Carr situation where...

you can't shove it anymore and the guy stinks. And now it's like, and now you're in this Russell Wilson, Denver type of situation. I would be so bummed out. The same thing's actually not as complicated. It's kind of complicated, but the simplest way, the NFL teams, when you hit the hit the cap,

You it's very easy to get there because you can just change the contracts because anytime you like Williams, oh, five year deal. It's a three year. It's two year deal. And there's three team options. That's why you don't hear the team option language in the NFL. They're all team options. Right. So the end of so you can just decline the team option, which is called cutting the guys and you get under the cap. The NBA, that's not how it works. Right. Because they're guaranteed contracts. And so.

Like the Sixers. They're just screwed with Paul George and Embiid now. Yeah, and that's your Picasso, the trade machine. You move it like Tetris pieces. The Saints have created an NBA situation for themselves in the NFL where they can't get rid of any of their players. So they have to trade it like Tetris pieces, like an NBA team, because they're stuck with everyone. And the biggest one they have is Derek Carr because they're just...

frankly, going about this like it's a late night on Bourbon Street and they don't want the night to end. So now they have to work with Derek Carr, who they don't like. Derek Carr doesn't really like them, and they're stuck together because they can't move his deal. So the only thing they can do is keep pushing it down the road because they can't get rid of him and no one wants to work with him. It's brutal. And they have the ninth pick. And if Sanders is there, I think they have to take him. Right? When are they other...

You know, unless they just don't. I just don't know what they do. But is there, Craig, is there a team you'd less want to be a fan of than the Saints right now? No, sadly, no. They're number one, right? No. Even if your Jets are Giants, like Giants, you could be like, oh, we have Malik neighbors. Well, we're in New York. Well, we have a good defensive line. I don't know what the case is for the Saints. No, it's bleak. At least they've had a nice, wholesome offseason. The Saints, too, they are constantly and consistently forever

overconfident in what they can do. You know what I mean? They, they, I think they probably believe they can compete this year. And honestly, in that division, maybe they can. I don't know. Yeah. Well, I went to Saints Reddit just to see what the vibe was. It's grim. People, I think Saints fans really don't like Derek Carr from what I've heard. They really don't like Derek Carr. They weren't doing backflips about Chase Young for three years for 57 million. I'll tell you that much. Yeah. What does that solve? Yeah. And they were, they lost a few guys and it's pretty grim.

All right, next one. This is for Craig. It's the Step Brothers Catalina Wine Mixer Award for single funniest concept. And that goes to the Steelers if they sign Aaron Rodgers and have him throwing footballs to DK Metcalf and George Pickens. That sounds like the worst idea ever. Or the best one. Is it so sane that I just blew your mind? I have in mind a different Step Brothers quote, which is when Dale and Brennan first meet.

And they're standing in the driveway and Dale's like, I'm Dale, but you have to call me dragon. And Brennan's like, well, then you have to call me Nighthawk. That is George Pickens and DK Metcalf meeting each other. These guys are going to be unbelievable. It's going to be like a WWE event every time they have to block two 5-10 corners.

Our corners couldn't be more scared of any team than the Pittsburgh Steelers coming to town. No. Look, I'm all for this entire circus coming through Pittsburgh. Dude, the best strategy every team is going to have against the Steelers this year is just start fights with DK Metcalf. Just break.

And it's like the Dennis Rodman thing. Just go get in their heads. Get in the heads of Pickens and DK Metcalf. Yeah, you should get Isaiah Stewart from the Pistons and just have him just suit up and just try to start fights. Heifetz, what's the worst idea

paying a second round pick and 30 million a year to DK Metcalf, knowing that George Pickens is going to take this personally and immediately also want to get paid, or having Aaron Rodgers as your starting quarterback for those two guys? If you had to pick a worse idea. Probably Rodgers because he's just going to get hurt and then you're going to go back to Russell Wilson or something. No, I think... I actually kind of...

I actually like the Metcalf move. Oh, here we go. Let's hear it. We're going streaking! That's it? You're just saying you're liking it? You have no evidence? Anything?

I like Metcalf for the Steelers. I think Pickens is crazy. Like my rule of thumb is if Mike Tallman gives up on a receiver that he can't handle, there's a reason like Antonio Brown, when they gave up useless Deontay Johnson's been on three teams since the Steelers got rid of him. If Mike Tallman's like, I don't want to get rid of Pickens. Pickens is useless. And so I actually think to your point, I don't think they're going to pay Pickens. I think they got Metcalf because they know Pickens is out.

And I think they're going to get rid of him. And then at that point, I look at the Seahawks-Steelers things as related as two midlife crisis teams that are going about it different ways. The Steelers went and got a sports car and the Seahawks kind of just shaved their head and were like, you know what? I'm just going to like, this is the new me. They lost weight. Stop dating meat. Yeah, exactly. Going on a darkness retreat. Yeah, exactly. I think I was like one of the last three Pickens defenders. Craig's probably last. Craig's there. But when he...

When they ended the game with the Browns, Hail Mary and the Thursday night. And instead of trying to catch a pass, he just decided to start a fight during the play. At that point, I was like, I think even I'm out on George Pickens because it's just insane behavior. Oh, Sarah Marshall, we're back again. The Peter Bretter hooking up with Sarah Marshall Award for I'm happy for you, but are we sure this is a good idea? Yeah.

Chris Godwin, three for 66. And everyone's saying, no, this is great. That's a great price. He took a discount. Did he? Did he take a discount? Because he had a torn ACL a couple of years ago. He had like a really badly broken ankle last year. So now he has two major leg injuries. He's about to hit his 30s.

And like I was, I got to say, I was worried this was going to be like a Pat's overpay. I was worried they were going to give him like three for 75 or something. I don't know if this guy's going to stay healthy. Why are we just penciling in Chris Godwin to be awesome again? Anybody? I think from the fantasy point of view, and this is a strategy we have started to adopt on the show is just avoid anybody coming off of a massive injury, major injury. Because it usually is the year after the year after they get, you know,

get back from the injury that they start to play well again. Which was last year for Godwin. Last year was the year after the year after. And he played great. He was incredible. Right. But yeah, I mean, you can look at so many different examples of guys that

Whether they re-injure the same thing or they have some sort of compensatory injury where their muscles are trying to make up for weakness or whatever from coming back from an injury, it's so hard for these guys to get back to where they were. He's getting older. I think Godwin is kind of built-diff. He's an incredible athlete. And everything you hear about him, he's an incredible person. But yeah, it's risky to give him that much money coming off of this massive injury like that. I think there's a little bit of just like...

good guy tax culture tax everybody loves chris godwin but people are saying he got a deal on it hi fits you had that with saquon right he came back from the acl and it was an extra year before he looked like saquon again it's the perfect example stefania bell actually wrote a lot about the city spn but basically it's just honestly it's funny adrian peterson came back from the acl and ran for 2 000 yards and everyone talks about that hasn't happened since he's the outlier yeah but everyone else like in saquon's obviously also a crazy like freak athlete

People always come back, aren't the same. And the people are like, oh, I'm out. And then the next year they're great. Like my a fantasy sleeper. I'll tell you about in August. T.J. Hawkinson. He looked great in the second half of December because he was come back from the ACL. T.J. Hawkinson is my favorite tight end in fantasy this year because he's fully back. So with Godwin, the Patriots offered him more. I think he turned it down. He wanted to rehab with the same people, which I think makes sense. I think that I agree. Actually, I thought the sticker shock was kind of crazy for some of the injury. But that's one of the situations to remember with all these. The

the Bucs know about the injury better than everyone. So if the Bucs are willing to give him the money, I think it means that the Bucs aren't as worried about it. If the Bucs were worried about it, then that would be bad. The way that he plays too, like running, he mainly was out of the slot last year. He moved back to the slot. I think that's a little bit different than trying to be like this guy that wins on the outside against one-on-one coverage and all that stuff. His role, I think, could give him an opportunity to still be productive. But I think at the end of the day, coming off of a major injury, it's scary.

Also, Dayami Brown got $10 million. I'll give Chris Godwin a little over $20 million. Tutu Atwell got $10 million. Craig, is that Sarah Marshall scene when they hook up again and then stop? Is that a top 20 aborted blowjob scene for you in movie history? Top 10? Where would you go? Single white females won? I have a giant folder under my bed. I'd have to go through that. Check that out. You can do it on Rewatchables on Monday.

This episode is brought to you by Intuit TurboTax. Taxes was waiting and wondering and worrying. It's almost like how in the old days of fantasy football, we used to have to tally the scores on a Monday and then the commissioner would just mail them out to everybody and you'd wait three days to see if you won.

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The Mitch hooks up with a high school senior award for, oh, this isn't aging. Well, this goes to two aging guys, the Rams dumping aging Cooper cup so they could overpay aging Devante Adams two for 46. I don't understand this either. Unless they just think Cooper cops, Cooper cups body is shot, which I would probably tend to believe them. Hi, Fitz. What'd you think of this one?

I liked it. I think it's just one for it's one for 23. And then I think they could get out of it with like six million dead money in 2026. So it's like whatever. But it's really a one year deal for 26 million. And I think they look at it as, wow, our defense is really young, really cheap, really good. What if we just win the Super Bowl this year? Because Devante is that like stagnant X outside receiver that the Rams offense kind of needs now because the first version of it was like Robert Woods and Cooper Cup. And then the next version of it was like Brandon Cooks as the X receiver makes everything else works. But you need a reliable X, like an actual true threat.

as the outside receiver. Brandon Cooks, they almost won the Super Bowl over your Patriots. When Odell was there, they got to the Super Bowl and won it with the Bengals. He got hurt mid-game. The whole thing changed. Like, Devontae is in that role now. So I think this is just, you know what? You have all this cap money. Devontae is the closest of all these old receivers to his peak form. I'm not saying his peak, but he's closer than Cooper Cupp or these guys. Let's just, like, make one last run

trying to weave together the old and the new kind of like the Warriors where you have all these young guys all these old guys they have the old core of Stafford keep Stafford keep like Rob Havenstein and like moving on from Cup and like Devonta so Adams is Jimmy Butler in that scenario honestly yes actually

I gotta say, I was really... I liked Heifetz's football terminology during that little rant there. I think Devontae Adams... It would come a long way. It was good. You were talking X and Y, spacing. I was impressed. I've been an addict. Nine years, I know all my letters. Yeah, it was good. He...

The Rams receivers, almost all of them making catches are off of motion last year. And he gives them, and what Heifetz said with the static thing is he can just line up on the line of scrimmage, get open. I don't know about the NBA comparison, but Devontae Adams kind of reminds me of an old guy with like knee pads and goggles at the Y. His game... That's turning into Craig. That's Craig like two years from now. Yeah, Craig. His game just translates or ages well, I think, because he is... He's all about, you know, route running,

hands, body positioning, setting up guys. And I think he doesn't he never was really this guy that relied too much on speed. It's kind of like the Andre Hopkins thing where, you know, even if he's not very fast, he just wins because he's so savvy as a route runner and positioning. And I assume he's going to get on the same page really well with Stafford. Stafford's always made receivers. We call him the kingmaker in fantasy. He's he's the receiver kingmaker. He

feeds his guys until there's no tomorrow. And so I'm excited. It makes me happy, Bill, that you're a little down on this because from my point of view, this is scary as a Seahawks fan that they signed Devontae Adams. I hate it. He won't be on my fantasy team, Craig.

Devontae Adams won't? It checks a couple boxes for me. Guy getting older. Guy didn't have as good of a season last year as the stats say. Guy changing teams again who's a receiver. That always makes me nervous. I don't like when receivers change in general. There's a chance he's better for the Rams than he is for your fantasy team. Yeah, I think that's definitely true. Also, wait, picking a pickup basketball. Bill, we're on the street. Are you going to un-retire?

No, my wife vetoed it. Oh, I can't afford to get divorced. That's that's really what it came down to. She's like, you're not playing again. This this could be a real issue for us. And I was like, OK, good to know. Oh, let's go to this is the end. Nice. The Michael Cera. And this is the end award for most hilarious cameo. It's going to go to somebody you're not expecting. Anthony Richardson.

A two year cameo passed through our life. Amazing combine. Got super excited. Went flying up the draft. Oh, my God. He's like Cam Newton with it. And I guess we're done now. Kind of like Michael Cera in that movie where Michael Cera has been murdered. Okay. What's happening? He's not in anymore. Anthony Richardson is overthrowing running back to the flat and getting impaled by telephone poles. Is it bad?

Danny Dimes is standing over him holding a giant thing. So they signed Danny Dimes for one for 14 and the Colts are saying we want these guys to compete. And in the words of James Babydoll Dixon, I wish them a lot of luck. That sounds like quite a competition.

What are your thoughts, Craig? I think Daniel Jones has definitely become underrated. And I think he honestly probably just does all the things that Anthony Richardson does, but better, which I can't believe I'm saying, but I, I, I, you know, I understand wanting to commit to Anthony Richardson one more time, but you need a good backup. Who's going to come in and immediately be better and make all the fans upset. And that's what Daniel Jones will be this year. Is, is dimes qualify for your two years after the injury rule?

Heifetz or no? No, because I think there are a few quarterbacks no one talks about as they were never the same after the injury, but they don't get put in that bucket. Daniel Jones was never the same. He had this neck injury, spinal injury, and he

And he lost his deep touch after that. And it was never the same. Like he used to be really aggressive in 2019. He had this neck injury. Carson Wentz was never the same after the ACL. Mariota had a nerve injury in his arm. Like we never talk about him that way. To Craig's point, though, just have to say a ton of things Anthony Richardson does way better than Daniel Jones. I don't think Daniel Jones. I'm not kidding. There's a point that he literally couldn't throw it further than his two receivers. Kedarious Tony can throw the football further than Daniel Jones can. Well, Anthony Richardson can only throw it further than all of his receivers. Yeah, he can just overthrow his guys by 20 yards.

They're like, it's like they're like feet in the freezer, head in the oven and like together their average. If they could just put like their skills together, I think that they would be like a really good quarterback. I think Daniel Jones can complete passes, which I think is important in the NFL in 2025. And for the Colts who can run the ball, they have a good offensive line. They have decent receivers. They just need somebody to put the ball in guys laps and Daniel Jones can do that.

I think he's active. I think Daniel Jones is actively bad. I think it's, I think Anthony, I think it's a wrap. I almost, this almost made me wonder, they do, they do this as a way to boost Anthony Richards confidence. Like if they think this could still be our guy, well, what do we do? Well, we'll bring in this guy to challenge him, but the guy hasn't been good in three years and he's going to kick this guy's ass. It's almost like, isn't that what Joe Flacco was? And then Joe Flacco was better than him.

Yeah, well, I guess. But Daniel Jones isn't actually better than Anthony Richardson is the thing. No, it's like the beginning of Rocky three when Mickey was like staging all these tomatoes for Rocky to make Rocky think he was this invincible champ. And I think Daniel Jones might be a tomato. Heifetz's joke for the longest time was he's worried about Daniel Jones crossing the street because he has no peripheral vision. He gets sacked and he fumbles more than anyone in the world.

He lived in Hoboken. I'm like, he's going to get hit by a car. I guarantee. I don't know. I had Anthony Richardson on my fantasy team last year. I watched every snap. I mean, that was tough. It was not a fun experience. That was like when Kevin Clark almost got, I think he did get hit by a car. He got hit by a car more than once. No pre-provision on Kevin Clark or Daniel Jones. Is he blaming Kevin? It ran up on the sidewalk. Should have been standing there.

One of the ones where it was, that's true. Why was he on the sidewalk? The Matt Damon's Euro trip cameo award for the most unexpected moment of joy for all of us was the bills just randomly getting Josh Palmer. I thought of Craig immediately. Craig's never, you have the most stock in this guy. Do you have a texting relationship with him? Like, are you friends with them? If he's in town, do you eat dinner with them? Like, how does it work?

Yeah, that's why I'm bummed he's now in Buffalo. He's geographically as far away as he could possibly be from me. And we used to meet every week on In-N-Out. Look, it's a great deal. Three years, $36 million for Buffalo. They got a professional wide receiver who all the nerds out there and me, we get it. We understand. The underlying metrics are there with Josh Palmer. It may not have worked last year. He was beat up a little bit last year. This guy has great hands.

He has good size. He's a good route runner. He's immediately the best route receiver on the bills other than Khalil Shakir. And he's just a professional football player. He makes every team better. I don't know who wouldn't want Josh Palmer. I like him too. I tried, I was playing a Madden season with Drake May and I traded for Josh Palmer. I just put him right on the pads. Guys, I was thinking that rant Craig just did about Josh Palmer. Yeah. When he, during the five spots, during the, as you guys are getting closer and closer to the drafts,

You can just run that as a video, like on a loop, like in speed with Keanu Reeves standing next to the bus driver and Craig could go like, P, just run the same rant over it. Like you'll get a glass of water and just run the Josh Palmer rant and go. I was like, I'm excited for Josh to Josh Heifetz.

Josh squared. There's something there. I like it. Well, Josh, Josh squared is really good. I like that because now we're going to have JJ to JJ and Josh to Josh. Yeah. There's all kinds of ways. A lot of J's, but I mean, overall, I think that's like a peak underrated receiver room of like Khalil Shakir and Josh Palmer and Keon Coleman. I think that's going to be like the indie room. Everyone's going to be like, Oh yeah. Josh Palmer. Guess how old he is? 25 years old. Yeah. I like them.

I love for the Pats. I was hoping to be a receiver in the NFL. I'm saying he's a contributor to a good team and the bills are a smart team and they know what they're doing. And Josh Palmer is going to be relevant and contribute to the bills. What percentage of your love for Josh Palmer is because three years ago, I was like, I, Josh Palmer will never do anything in the NFL. 75% of it. Yeah. Mostly because I didn't like him.

I like Josh. I'm rooting for him. We don't have to talk about this next award, but I'm just going to throw it because we talked about the top, but the Damien Cockburn dropping his cast into the jungle award for craziest idea that just might work is if the, if, if the giants can just take Sanders at three and send Hunter or Carter down, I'm going to be focused on this for the next six weeks. Next award, the Danny McBride making breakfast award for the transaction that randomly brought me the most joy.

Kenny Pickett traded to the Cleveland Browns for DST in a fifth. I stared at this for 20 minutes. How did they decide that a draft pick should be involved? Does this mean the Browns are going to start Kenny Pickett? How did Howie Roseman get a draft pick for Kenny Pickett?

And if you're the Browns and you're one of the stupidest teams of the last 10 years, should you just ever trade with the Eagles under any circumstances? I loved all the aspects of this trade. Does anyone want to take a crack at trying to explain this? Is this the Danny McBride like butterfly? Yeah. Do you think during their negotiations with Miles Garrett, right? You know, when he was deciding, should I leave or should I stay? They said,

Don't worry. We're going to bring in a Super Bowl winning quarterback. Yeah, we have somebody. We have somebody in our back pocket signed here. We did it. We did a bit on the show for a long time during Kenny Pickett's rookie year. That was just Kenny Pickett facts. And it was like every Kenny Pickett stat.

was just sadder than the last. Every Kenny Pickett stat was just the saddest thing you've ever heard in your life. Josh Dobbs came in and passed more yards than him in two games versus Kenny Pickett's entire season. Every Kenny Pickett fact was funnier than the last or sadder. Who's the Eagles backup now? McKee? Tanner McKee? Yeah.

I would add that to the sad Kenny Pickett facts. Tanner McKee made him expendable, apparently. Tanner McKee probably threw more touchdowns than Kenny Pickett did in his entire time in Pittsburgh, I think. A team wanted Dorian Thompson Robinson over Kenny Pickett. Kenny Pickett facts. Heifetz, is there a chance Craig is talking himself into Kenny Pickett as like a sleeper stealth fantasy starter on like August 10th?

Oh, yeah. I would say like 80%. Okay. Because you've always kind of deep down liked him a little bit. He had a little fourth quarter Tebow magic to him. And nobody wants to admit that, but he did. There were moments. In the Eli year. There were moments. I'll still never forget that fourth quarter, like over the shoulder touchdown to Najee Harris that won in the game. He still, he has moments.

I lost some stock on him. I'll tell you that much. I bought some stock before that 23 season. I invested. The best moment of the last three years in the NFL media was during the preseason of Kenny Pickett's second year. He was like 15 for 15, 180 yards and two touchdowns. They made him a captain. And for a week, everybody was like, we knew this was coming. He showed signs. He's a professional now. Joe Montana. He's comfortable. Yeah, like...

This is the guy. He's got the clutch gene. Then he was fucking terrible immediately. Yeah. Yeah. My new rule is I'm just going to ignore every single thing that happens in the preseason and just stick with what I thought in July. All right. Only a couple more. The Simple Jack Award for most inevitable box office bomb. The Miami Dolphins. When do the over-unders come out?

When? When can they come out, Fandle? Fandle, can you just put out a Dolphins over under now? I'm going under. I don't care what it is. Is it eight and a half under? Seven and a half under? Six and a half. Fine. Under. They can't make the under low enough. And Zach Wilson for $6 million, we ran it home. But it was like, the Tyreek trade request is coming. They lost Javon Holland. Today, there was an article about, hey,

They got a chance for Joey Bosa. They're one of the finalists. It's like, cool. He plays four games a year. That fits right in with the rest of the best guys in your team. They are still 43 to one on FanDuel to win the Super Bowl. I'd like to announce I'm booking that bet. If anyone wants to bet 43 to one on Miami Dolphins, I will book the action right here on the Bill Simmons podcast. That team's going to suck. Simple Jack right there. Anything to add hyphens.

I think the Dolphins are built like, frankly, like a Miami cocaine bender of it's all like just speed and cool shifts. Just Tyreek Hill and Jalen Waddle and speed and cornerback. Yeah. Like they haven't eaten food in like three days. There's no good guards or defensive tackles. And like they just have no protein. Now it's just like they've been awake too long and they're kind of getting paranoid. Tyreek on the team in September, Danny? Hmm.

I'm going to go no. Feels Chargers-y to me. I think, yeah. I don't know if they're going to be able to get rid of him. Feels like the Chargers have been quiet, so they just lose Josh Palmer. They desperately need some speed. They need speed. They signed Bosa. They signed Najee Harris, which is like the opposite of what... They need people who can run fast, not Najee Harris. Yeah. I think Dolphins are going to be terrible. Craig, anything to add on Dolphins before we go to the last award? It's like the Mad Men quote. I don't think about the Dolphins. Okay.

I actually have two more words. I have the, uh, the, I love you man award for sneaky best signings. Cause I think I love you, man has become the sneaky best comedy of the two thousands. It just came out. There were too many comments. It just kind of came and went and,

I think it's a solid, I think it's a rewatchables candidate. I think it's really good. I agree. I haven't seen it in a while. I need to watch it again, but I loved, I love you, man. Just came out. Oh, nine was just a glut. It was like, it was like the one that when the draft has like receiver gluts and there's just so many, it's like, Whoa, now I went to Thomas 25th. If a movie like I love you, man came out now, I would like camp out overnight at the theater to see it. Oh my God. All right. So sneaky best signings.

I mentioned how much I like the Spillane sign into New England. I just love that guy. But Drake Greenlaw to the Broncos really jumped out to me because that's another one where it's coming off the injury and now there's been enough distance and he just fits in with what they do. I just, that one jumped out. I was like, ah, that's a really good one. What was your favorite sneaky sign in DK? Ooh, that is a good question. I think...

You could say Josh Palmer, even though we already talked about him. Josh Palmer is a funny one. DJ Reed to the Lions. I don't know if that was sneaky. No, it was because they got rid of Carlton Davis and basically paid DJ Reed less to play the same position. I've been a fan of him. I think he's a good cover corner. He has ball skills. The way he plays, he has an attitude. He brings an intensity to the defense. I think he's the perfect Dan Campbell defender. They needed some help in the secondary, and I think he's a really smart signing for them.

What do you have, Heifetz? I have the same one. That one, I don't understand what was going on there. D.J. Reid outplayed Sauce Gardner last year for the Jets. Like, D.J. Reid was just straight up better. And then you look at the Jets bringing in, I think, Brandon Stevens for like $12 million a year. I'm like, just give D.J. Reid $16 million in a world where Carlton gave us $20 million. Again, Jordan went to the Jaguars, Jordan Lewis, for $10 million a year. I'm like, D.J. Reid's $16 million. He's actually good. So I think that for the way Detroit wants to play defense, I think most of the signings on the first day of free agency are

You look back, you're like, that's the one where I think you could look back and be like, oh my God, if Detroit's making the NFC championship game again, I think that could be the difference. I thought the Pats were going to get him and they went with Carlton Davis instead because the DC coached him. But I also think it felt like an attitude pick.

He's like a big shit talker, like tough guy. And I think they want the defense to have guys like that. But I thought DJ Reed was really good last year. And I agree with you. I thought the games I watched, it felt like he was even... What do you have for your sneaky signing, Craig? I'm going to stay in-house. And I'm going to say Darius Slay to the Steelers, who...

Pretty much just have one solid corner in Joey Porter, and he's a great veteran presence. I mean, the guy was a starter all through the playoffs for the Eagles. And just like a sneaky, he's 34 years old, but this is the perfect type of guy to come in when you're in this win-now mode. So I think him opposite Joey Porter is an awesome one-year deal.

Did Aaron Rodgers get signed yet? Because I only have one more award. He's just going to wait till Thursday. He's milking it. Yeah, he's going to he's going to wait to release Enema part. Enema of the Empire State. Enema from Religion of Sports. May 25th. All right. Last award.

The waking up in a trash Vegas hotel room with a splitting hangover, a random baby, a tiger in the bathroom, a missing tooth and a missing buddy award goes to the San Francisco 49ers who lost everyone on their team. I know. And they weren't good last year. They lost Tufanga, Ward, Greenlaw, Kinlaw, Debo, Aaron Banks, Jalen Moore, Hargrave, Yusek. They overpaid Ayuk who immediately got hurt.

They locked up McCaffrey right before his inevitable injury that everybody knew was happening. And now they're about to overpay Brock Purdy. This feels like a car going off a mountain in slow motion. It might, it might've already gone off the mountain. Um,

DK, you have to be ecstatic because there's no team you hate more than the 49ers. Look, I don't want to jinx anything. Can the other two answer about this one? Right now, it looks good for me. But yeah, I yeah, no, I think this is bad for the Niners. I mean, again, Brock Purdy was making about as much per year, almost as Dak Prescott made per quarter. And now Brock Purdy is going to make

as much as Dak Prescott a year, probably somewhere between 50 and $60 million a year. And this is the cost. It's the eight guys. I'm a big believer that actually Kyle Shannon's on the Andy Reid timeline, very similar offensive wizard. Don't know about the game management, getting good enough that you're getting far enough to be criticized for not being the big one. Kind of like LeBron early where it's like Andy Reid, four championship games in a row could wasn't the guy. And Andy Reid had to go to another team.

I kind of wonder if Kyle Shanahan is going to be just as good of a coach as people thought, but he's going to need to do another organization because I don't like where this is going. I don't know how much longer John Lynch is going to be in that GM spot. And I think that, I mean, this is the, the guys losing are just a good draft class. And I don't know what happens as these draft classes thin out, how this team's going to age. I think frankly, like all these guys are so competitive and locked in. And when you get that close, the idea of rebuilding on the fly, it's like emotionally very challenging. So I, I am very pessimistic where the Niners are going the next few years.

When you said Andy Reid timeline, I immediately thought to the year when they went like four and 12 and he got fired. Yeah, I think that could I think Kyle Shanahan might win a Super Bowl, but like with a different team. One question that I think people will probably start thinking about when we get to August, because there were so many coaching jobs that flipped is what are going to be like the big coaching jobs in January 2026.

And if you're just going, if you had to like handicap it, I would say the Niners and the Dolphins would be the two. Is there another? Is this the Steelers? Would you throw on there? Well, I think Heifetz, you know, maybe you should want Aaron Rodgers because if he blows up the New York Giants and cleans house. Craig, to be fair, I said big coaching job. Right, right, right.

I will say I didn't say coaching jobs. If Shanahan was available, Bill, what is the right? Because you talked about how like the real market price for Kobe was like 75 million one year because they were just paying. They could have saved 50 million to cut him. And like the real price. What should the Giants pay Kyle Shanahan? In theory, like you could tell me he's worth 60 million dollars a year and I'd be like, OK, it's not my money. Is it weird that I don't rate him as highly as some of the others? Well, you've never been on him.

But I just feel like they've lost a lot of games in the, you know, third, fourth quarter, a lot of big games over the years, even going back to Patriots 28, three. Like, I don't know how that doesn't hang on him at least a little bit. Like that team never comes through when it matters over and over and over again. And even, you know, I, I don't know. I, I think he's a good coach.

And I see one of the 12 best coaches in the league. Sure. But I don't, I wouldn't value him like that to me. I would value somebody like Tomlin way more where, and I know Tomlin drives, you've had him forever, Craig, probably some things about him that drives you crazy, but he hasn't had a good quarterback since like 2015, 16, whatever that last good Roethlisberger year was. And we haven't won a playoff game since. Well, you can argue Shanahan hasn't either. I will say this. I think that Shanahan's been winning in the fourth quarter.

In the Super Bowl, three of the last 10 Super Bowls, and the Steelers haven't won a playoff game in that time. True.

I just I think he's fine. But if he's like the savior in New York, first of all, his interviews are a little weird. Right. Royish. Yeah, he's a little I don't know how that would play. It's his whole career. I mean, he is like a Jimmy G overthrow away from having a completely different. Right. Right. But he's also a no Brock Purdy away from he would have been fired two years ago because that Trey Lance thing would have run the franchise into the ground.

So I don't know the answer, but I don't know. Would you put him DK? Would you put him in like your top five coaches? Cause I would not. I rate him pretty highly. I don't know about top five. I'd say top 10 for sure though. I feel pretty confident in him as a guy who can get,

a lot out of the talent he has on offense, which means a lot in the NFL. And, you know, like the ability to go in and have a very good offense with a, the last pick of the draft, you know, and he's done it with several different, basically everyone, anyone who goes and plays for the 49ers is going to average like eight plus yards per attempt.

I think there's a ton of value in that. No coach is perfect, though. You know, every coach has like a... It feels like every great coach has one thing that's like they're really bad at. Kyle Shanahan's is like the late game collapses. I know 49er fans are probably pretty sick of that. But...

Well, but to be fair, that was the Andy Reid thing, because that was when I was writing football columns and basketball columns all the time. And Andy Reid was I had him in the playoff manifesto. I was like, never bet on Andy Reid in the playoffs. He was like rule number six. And he had a lot of bad ones and they piled up and it got to the point where he said, yeah, this guy, this guy has a fatal flaw. So I don't know. But I does feel like this.

Feels like the end of the line for the diners in a lot of different ways. All right, so we didn't get to talk about the Joe Milton sweepstakes, the Bears beefing up both lines, J.J. McCarthy time. For the movies that...

I think we hit every movie except we didn't talk about Mean Girls. Didn't talk about Dodgeball. Pineapple Express. Any award you want to just pull out of your back pocket, Craig? Just with no prep at all. Oh, man. Bang. We didn't do Road Trip. Bang. Don't. What's bang? Don't. Don't. But who does that go to, though?

I used to carry this when I was a prostitute. Aaron Rodgers sweepstakes. Don't. Don't. All right. That's good. All right. This is fun. So when's your next podcast? Tomorrow. All right. Well, maybe Rodgers will have decided, but my guess is he won't. Who's going to book this for all he wants? Two teams left. Danny, Danny, Craig. Great to see you guys as always. Craig, I'll see you tomorrow when it's threatening to become sports movie month on the rewatchables. Do you want to announce it now?

No, but it's another sports movie. I've never seen it. I'm watching it tonight. All right. Great. Good to see you guys. All right. That's it for the podcast. Thanks to Danny and Danny and Craig. Thanks to Kyle and Gahow and Saruti as well. Don't forget, you can watch all the clips and videos from this pod on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel. Don't forget about Rewatchables, Best in Show, Prestige TV, Hittin' White Lotus. Episode five's coming.

Sunday night. And I will see you on this podcast on Thursday. Must be 21 plus and president select states for Kansas and affiliation with Kansas star casino or 18 plus and president DC gambling problem. Call 100 gambler, visit rg-help.com call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat.

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