Guess the Lines (Year 18!) and Favorite NFL Futures With Cousin Sal
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Coming up, it's Sunday, the NFL is coming, we're going to guess some lines, the cuz is here. We're back, baby. It's the Bill Simmons podcast presented by FanDuel. Football is in full action. FanDuel's highest rated sports book is the best place to bet it all. We've been doing pretty well on million dollar picks this year. I love the first month of the season because you have to go into the season thinking, I

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We're also brought to you by the Ringer Podcast Network. I will have new rewatchables for you on Monday because Michael Keaton, Beetlejuice, we're back with Keaton. So we got into the first Michael Keaton movie, the one that put him on the map, the one that made me buy Michael Keaton season tickets. That's right. Night Shift. We'll be breaking that down. It's going to be going up Monday night. It is one of the top 20 movies I've seen the most, I think.

I know that's weird, but look, it came out in 1982, as I've said many times. The movies you love when you're 13 and 14 often become your favorite movies. So Night Shift is one for me. Me and Chris Ryan. Stay tuned. Monday night.

And you can watch it as well on the Ringer Movies channel on YouTube. Well, you know, we're brought to you by FanDuel Sportsbook. You know, they have futures featured bets. They have futures live right now. They have the futures fusion tab that they asked Sal and I to add a bunch of custom parlay bets we like. We've been going through a bunch of them on this podcast. You can use our special boost to boost any of our picks online.

division, playoffs, whatever. My favorite pick, you heard at the top, NFC South under 30 wins plus 155. So please jump on that one. And we're going to be in a little bit

talking about a bunch of those bets. We're going to do a futures draft. We're going to actually draft our favorite futures and go back and forth and see if we take one from the other, so be it. But we're going to try to do a bunch of those. And then we're going to do against the Lions week one NFL, and then we're going to do parent corner. So there you go. One last thing before we get to Sal, you might've noticed they put out the tweet and the date for Mr. McMahon and

our new Netflix docuseries that premieres September 25th. I know I've been talking about it on this podcast for a couple years. It's been a four-year odyssey to get this up. So it will be September 25th. I would carve out about six and a half hours if I were you because it is something. So there you go. All right, it's time for Sal. First, our friends from ProJet. ♪♪

We are officially here. Sundays are back. Cousin Sal is here. It is September 1st, my favorite month of the year. We're going to do an NFL Futures Bet draft at the top. Here we go! We're going to do Guess the Lines.

For week one, we're going to do some parent corner. We have a whole action-packed thing for you. So Sal, we like so many NFL futures, we just decided to do a draft. And if we take one from the other one, so be it. So whoever goes first...

Then you go second and third. I go fourth and fifth. So we get two in a row. I think we should say we're putting like 50K fake dollars on each one of these or something. Oh, really? To just see that add the tally up at the end of the year. So let me ask you then. So could I just pick first and go no undefeated teams minus 3,500? Or no, it has to be something legit. No, I thought about that. I think we should try to keep it

like even odds or plus. All right. And if you want to have like one or two in the, in the minus one 50 minus one 75 range, go longer shots. That's fine. That's good. That's fine. Yeah. All right. You want to go first?

You want to go first or you want me to go first? Let's let the California lottery determine it. We'll wait till night. We'll add up the balls. It's okay. You go first. I'll go first. I'll go with my favorite future. Yeah. So we talked about this on the NFC over under podcast and I challenged FanDuel. I was like, I think the NFC South is probably going to win like, I don't know, 24, 25 games max.

Put some chest hair on FanDuel. Put this on your sportsbook app. Put it in Futures Fusion, the hottest nightclub in LA right now. Put it in there. Let's see it. So FanDuel, they put up NFC South under 30 wins. So 29 and under, you win. And it's plus 155. So if the NFC South has 30 combined wins, you lose that one. I talked about it in the NFC thing. I think the NFC South

is going to be a dumpster fire. I would be shocked if anyone's even in the high 20s from this division combined. We'll make sure you think that. Yeah. No, of course. That's a good one. I think you added it up and it was 31, right? Is the actual number for all the wins. Right. So they're adjusting it. Yeah, this is a good one. All right. I'm trying to figure out how it loses. And I think here's the case study. So...

Atlanta's schedule is so easy. If Atlanta just becomes like the super easy schedule, nobody believes in them. They're 12 and five, but everybody can't wait to get bet against them in the playoffs.

I think that has to happen. I think Carolina has to be maybe a little better. That's the main one. Carolina can't screw you. Everyone else will be around seven. Carolina can't be seven. That's it. They got to get out of it. There's some slight buzz with Carolina. I'm like, I don't know, maybe 11-1 to win the division. I don't see it at all. I think they're going to be awful. So anyway, plus 155. That's my bet. All right, you got the next two.

All right, I'll go as another one we discussed. I really, really love this, and it pays six to one exact order of finish. Detroit, Green Bay, Chicago, Minnesota. Of course, you could switch that around. Go Chicago, Green Bay for second, third. I think he gets seven to one, but I really like what we settled on. Lions, Packers, Bears, Vikings, because I haven't been this confident in a first-place team and a fourth-place team finish in a while.

I think we have the right one for second and third. So that's the NFC North exact order six to one, which has been on there for a month or so. And they have them for every division. They have every combination. That is by far my favorite one. Okay. Because really the only way you probably lose it is if Green Bay somehow is better than Detroit.

And I think that Chicago-Minnesota 3-4 combo, I'm locking that in. I don't see any chance Chicago's better wins-wise than Detroit or Green Bay. And you and I are both, we talked about it a few days ago, you and I are both super bullish on Detroit. Let's just commit to those two bets, the NFC South under, and I just went over, and let's watch the rest of the year. Why do we have to go crazy on ourselves? So I had that as my third most favorite bet.

Future. So you took one from me, but the plus 600 is great. So if we're doing 50 K per bet and you hit that one, you'll have a lead. I will have hit my bed and still you'll be winning me. All right. What's your other one? I'm going to go same division here. I have to decide between. I like both of these. And I actually, you could take one if I do the other. I like Caleb Williams to lead the league in interceptions and

Oh, Tina one. But I also like him over eleven and a half interceptions. All right. I'm going to go over eleven and a half interceptions minus one twelve.

That is asking a lot for a rookie quarterback to come in there and have fewer than 12 interceptions. But all three secondaries are pretty good. Even Minnesota's, you know, there are some blue chippers in there. 12 interceptions is not a bad year. If he has like 27 touchdowns and 12 interceptions, that's not bad at all. And he's going to make some mistakes. And, you know, if he plays less than one a game, give me Caleb over 11 and a half INTs. What is the juice on that? Minus 112.

That's really good. I was looking at that most interceptions bet. It was shocking. Josh Allen was one of the favorites. Then I looked it up last year and he had 18 picks last year. I was like, oh yeah, I forgot. He threw a ton of picks. But usually there's the bad QB who gets to play all the time. Like last year was Sam Howell. And I think he might have either finished with the most or he was right there. The year before was Davis Mills.

So I have one for this a little later that I was looking at that I thought was pretty nice. All right, so I have two in a row. I want to do one longer shot and one that I just really like, but both of them are based in the AFC South. They have a little DNA in the AFC South, the division that I think both of us are intrigued by this year. First one, Mahomes, CJ Stroud, and Trevor Lawrence, all to throw for 4,000 yards.

parlay plus four Oh three. So I looked at this. Lawrence has thrown for 4,000 yards in two of the last three years, including last year when he had a hundred injuries. Um, my homes would have to get hurt to miss this and Stroud first 12 games last year through for 3,500 yards, missed a couple of games, came back, still finished over 4,000 and now the receivers are better. And I mean,

I basically somebody would have to get hurt for them to miss this. And four to one is tasty. And I was trying to, I was looking at the history of 4,000 yard throwers, which is a little easier now that we have the extra game, but there's usually between like maybe eight and 10 that do it each year. And I think these are going to be three of the eight. So plus four Oh three. What do you think of that one? I like that. You just need,

You need 16 games out of them, right? If someone plays 15. Yeah, maybe even 15. It's a little sketchy. 15, I guess you could do it. That's 15 is 2,600. 2,600 a game. That's not bad. I like that. All right. Okay. And then my second one, we've talked about it a lot. I picked them to make the Super Bowl. They were one of my seven AFC Super Bowl picks in our AFC over under. Houston to win the AFC South.

which the odds have dropped and is now dead even. It's plus 100 for them to win the AFC South. The only team I'm afraid of for this a little bit is Jacksonville, but I'm all in on this Houston team. I think CJ is going to be really good. As I said the other day, if he's healthy and he has a good team, I just think he's 11 wins going forward. So the fact that this isn't minus yet, like this is plus 100, but Philly's minus 140 to win the NFC East,

Just seems like good value. So that's my other one. Okay. I like that. I mean, I have Jaguars to win, only because I think it's going to come down to the last week and I'd rather have good money, but yeah. Good odds. All right. I get two here. So let me go. Comeback player of the year. Kirk Cousins. It was five to one. You can get it a plus 430. Now, I think I mentioned on the NFC pod, he had 18 touchdowns. He led the league before he got injured. I think he's going to put up good numbers with that team, right?

Dare I say Kyle Pitts, Drake London.

I think they're going to be okay this year. And so right there, I think we discount. I'd rather not take the Saints or Falcons or anything else to win a division, but I think Cousins will put up good numbers. I don't think Rodgers will as much and Burrow. I don't know. I don't want to count injuries against anybody, but I think Cousins 430 is a good one. So I didn't have a comeback bet out of my 31 futures I have prepared for this draft.

And the reason is I really like Cousins at plus 430, but I also was afraid of Rodgers and Rodgers was, what was he like? Plus 220, plus 230, something like that. I didn't understand why they weren't the exact same odds because if either of them win the division, they're probably going to be the favorite to be come back part of the year. Right? So I don't know why Rodgers would be above Cousins. They had the same injury. They're playing for these teams that are in like that nine to 10 win range with a chance to win the division.

And I thought Cousins had the best odds. It didn't make the cut for me. I had a lot of ones I liked. Yeah, because his team's expected to win the division, where the Bengals aren't and the Jets aren't either. There was some weird one in the comebacks. They really were throwing in everybody. You second a hundred to one, they're putting in people you didn't even know were still in the league. Grady Jarrett.

What is Grady Jarrett? What kind of stats does Grady Jarrett have to have to win CPOY? Yeah. Can you imagine like week nine? We're like, I don't know, man. Grady Jarrett. He looks like he almost has this locked up. Damn. Tim Patrick, I think is on a practice squad. He's a hundred for one. It was good stuff.

It seems like Ricky Pearsall is going to be okay. I think he should probably be in there, right? Yeah, you're right. Fucking shot yesterday. So if he has like 40 catches, I think he would have to be one of the favorites. That's interesting. We never talked about a rookie to win comeback player of the year. He can win both awards. Unbelievable. Guy's just walking around downtown San Francisco. All right. What's your other one?

All right, for my second here coming around, I'm going Kenneth Walker, most rushing yards, NFC West. Now, this is dependent probably on McCaffrey getting injured, maybe missing a couple of games. Maybe they hold him out. Maybe they're going for the one seed, whatever it is. So I need McCaffrey to miss some games. I need Kieran Williams to be named the punt returner for the Rams, which seems like it already happened. Plus 360, Kenneth Walker, right around 1,100 yards. I have him in way too many fantasy leagues, but I'm sticking with this. I think it's a good number.

Well, and then James Connor, maybe him not going crazy, but I think it's a really smart one because everyone's going nuts about him. He definitely is probably the most hyped higher end running back in any fantasy league. And then the McCaffrey, who knows? Calf, hamstrings. I like it. Plus three. I'm surprised the odds are that high. I would have thought the odds would have been like in the plus 250 range. So those are good ones. All right. For my next two.

I'm going to go Detroit for both. I'm trying to do themes with my combos. We talked about this a bunch on, uh, on our two-parter Detroit for the one seed plus 480. I just, I just think the value is, especially with San Francisco was some year from hell potential with San Francisco and then the NFC East. I'm not sure which one comes out of there. I don't like anyone in the NFC South. I just think the one seeds coming from the NFC North, whether it's Green Bay or Detroit and, and,

We talked about Detroit with all the indoor games, Detroit loading up, Detroit getting a taste last year, but not getting the Super Bowl hangover. And I just think they're built to beat the shit out of teams this year, which ties into my, so that's plus 480. And that ties into my second one, which is Aiden Hutchinson for most sacks, 11 to 1.

Right? So you figure if this is, if Detroit's a juggernaut, which I think they're going to be at least for the regular season and you're having leads and the other team's throwing a lot and you're putting a lot of pressure on them and the crowd's loud,

I like the way he looked last year. And what is most sacks? Maybe he, I think he had like 11 or 12 last year. Maybe it's, maybe you get to 17 this year. Who's he competing against Parsons? What? Um, one of the bosses, Garrett, but I think he probably needs to get to 17, 18, but on a team that's running it up, I could see it. I could see him having like a five sack game against some terrible team where they're just killing them. So 11 to one for Hutchinson. That was my other one. He's got a little help this year. I like that.

All right. I'll give you one. I think I gave this out when we did the AFC. Tyree killed 13 or more receiving touchdowns.

Plus 360. I mentioned it. I don't understand this number. He's hit this two of the last four years. He has 13 and 15 touchdowns. He had like 119 catches the last two years. He had like 34 red zone targets last year, which is insane. You know, he scores five touchdowns, 50 yards or more every season. So I like this right there as long as he stays healthy. What's the juice on that one? Plus 360 there. Plus 360 for 13 or more.

Do you like the odor from this Miami team? I'm going to use odor is going to be my go-to word this year. Do you like the odor from this team this year? I was reading up on that. The odor or the owner? The owner is like Serena Williams. The odor, the smell, the vibe, the look. I mean, they're starting this week one. They have a bunch of injuries and guys questionable already. I don't know. I know you're trying to bait. You've been baiting JJ on our text chain.

But he has to defend his team like I do. Yeah, maybe. I don't know. If it's a year from hell team, Tyreek will be part of that. And it'll be like a pulled hammy or whatever. But the plus 360, I can't argue with the juice. What's your other one? All right, I'm going to go another receiver here. CeeDee Lamb. Homer call probably. Most receiving yards in the NFC East. Plus 115.

He beat A.J. Brown, who was second, by 300 yards last year. It wasn't even close. And who are we looking at after that? Neighbors? No. McLaurin? McLaurin. Those guys aren't going to get to 1,400, 1,500 yards. Plus 115 is better than picking a division winner, I think, in the NFC East. So that's my second one. So are they saying...

Basically, it's him versus the two Eagles guys and they feel like that's dead even because it feels like to me, Lamb should be like minus 150 for that. Yeah, right. It will be after this podcast, but I would jump on that. Well, go to Futures Fusion. Drinks are half price during happy hour. Okay, I'm doing two pats for my next two.

You know where I stand on this Pats season. You try to talk me out of it. There's been some action on the Bengals Pats line, which we'll talk about when we do Guess the Lines, even though we already guessed them. First one, the Pats to be the last winless team is plus 500.

And if you look at their schedule, and especially the fact that they're going to play Brissette this first four weeks, they're super unhappy with how the offensive line looks. And it just feels like they're going to start in that 0-6, 0-7 range. The other teams are Tennessee plus 750, who...

I don't know. I could see them stealing a game in the first month. Carolina's plus 850. People think they could just beat New Orleans in week one. Minnesota's plus 950. Giants 11-1. Broncos 13-1. So to get big action on paths to be less winless, when naming Brissette was their admission, we're going to suck this year. We don't even want to risk our rookie quarterback. Even though he, like Jared Mayow's like, yeah, Mayow played Brissette. And then two days later, he's like,

Our starting quarterback is Jacoby Brissett. So this is a team that doesn't seem like it wants to win. Plus 500. All right. I mean, this is the theme, right? I have to defend my team to the end, and you have to say that yours is going to be terrible. That's just...

Get ready for it, people. This is what our year is going to look like. We are terrible. It's not like I'm going to have to go out on a limb. It's going to be a bad team. The only thing I'll say is I think we looked it over in the NFC. So the Giants play the Vikings this week. And it's a murderous schedule for Minnesota if they lose this. Not great for the Giants either. And I think you can get 950 and 11-1 for both of those two. But, I mean, yeah, Patriots will be right in there. Yeah, Minnesota was another one I was looking at because it already seems like

you know, things are moving against them. They've had some injuries. They have, I don't know what happens with Addison. Like Goodell just decides after week two, he's now on that. You cannot play any more list, but they go giants, San Fran, Houston at green Bay jets. Yeah. Bye.

Detroit and then at Rams week eight. I was looking at them too, but in Saturday. Yeah. But yeah, they're well, we'll talk about them in the Giants, but it does feel like whoever wins that game, the loser is probably the past competition for that bet. All right. Sticking with the paths for the second one, Pat's under four and a half and then Seattle over eight and a half wins. I really like the Seattle team. And I think they're,

They might be coming up later with a couple more bets for me, but I like everything I'm reading, everything I'm hearing. I like their roster. I like that they actually have a home field advantage or on paper they at least do. I like the first game, week one, start now. They're going to be favored. They should take care of business.

And I just think they're a 9 or a 10 win team. So that plus Pats under 4.5 is 3-1 plus 300. And instead of betting Seattle, I would just rather throw the Pats in there because the Pats aren't going 5-12. Not bad. Is this on the Futures Fusion or the Guest of Lines with Bill and Sal section of FanDuel? It might even be both. Both bars are open. Yeah.

Our kids are going to get kicked out of Futures Fusion for showing fake ID, aren't they? Yeah. So we just got a fake ID to get into Futures Fusion, I think, is what's happening. It's not going to work. It doesn't work. All right. We get minus. Oh, good. Yeah. We're taking a break. We did a lot of things. We'll come back. We'll finish the Futures draft. Then we'll do Guess the Lines.

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All right, we're going to continue the futures draft. I think it's going pretty well. Yeah, we haven't lost anything. Yeah, you haven't lost any money. We're just throwing fake money around left and right. What do you got next? I can't believe you don't like this or haven't picked this because you're anti-Patriots and pro-Lions. Guess the Lions with Bill Salah, our very own section, has Lions' best record, Patriots' worst record, 36-1. I'm going for it, taking a stab here. And at $50,000, I think that pays well.

I don't know, 36 billion, something, somewhere in there. I had it. I had it later. I like those other two. And I already did the Lions for something. But yeah, I got to be honest. I don't know why that's so high. 36 to one, where it's like, on the one hand, the Alliance team that I think the Chiefs is the only real competition for that one seed, if you really believe in the Lions. And then the Pats, who I think,

It's one of the three worst teams. No question. I thought that would be like 12 to 1. So great odds. Well, there's about three teams in contention on both sides. And I'm also sticking with the Guess the Lines with Bill Sal section. At least three of Falcons, Texans, Chiefs, and Jets to make the playoffs. This is a heavy VIG. I'm not doing anyone any favors at minus 160, but you could get all four. There's a way to get all four for sure. Falcons, Texans, Chiefs.

And Jets, three of them are favorite to win their divisions. Yeah, so I'm trying to think, what is the juice on that? Minus 160. So I apologize. No, I like that. Yeah, so KC locked them in. Atlanta is a little dangerous. And then they're basically banking that maybe Houston and Jacksonville don't make it. So yeah, that's...

Fair odds. I mean, just to make the playoffs. It's not even to win the division. So Atlanta, I don't... I like your thing where they all go under, but could they get a wild card? I guess. Well, I should add that I have all four of those teams to make the playoffs. And in fact...

My next pick is the Jacksonville Jaguars. So this is an adjusted all win total because their all total is eight and a half, which you and I both went over. We had a lot of acrimony in our AFC over-unders, but then we actually, we bonded over the Jaguars. We both liked them a lot.

They're over nine and a half wins. And again, credit to Raheem because he's been all over the alt win from the get-go. Like if you like somebody, you're better off really liking them and getting better juice. So Jags over nine and a half wins is plus 176. And I got to go 10 and seven and I hit that. And I think they can go 10 and seven. And I actually think they will unless somebody gets injured. So I love that one. Staying in the AFC South, Stroud most passing yards plus 700.

And I think his competition's probably Dak, right? Dak, if he plays all 17 and they're going to throw the ball a lot, especially with no running backs, I think would be the other one to look at. But I just think, I think Stroud's going to wing the ball around and, and,

You know, they got Mixon and Pierce and Akers are running back. It's not like they're going to be rushing for 3,000 yards. I think they're going to want to throw the ball and move it, make big plays and strike big. Don't have to worry about weather. He's probably just going to get better. I like that. Yeah, and 7-1, I like the odds. All right, you're up. All right, I'm going to go in under quarterback. Sam Darnold, under 34, 75 and a half, so he's got to start these games now for the Vikings with McCarthy out. It's minus 112.

I think he could get yanked. They could do something weird in there, right? And you see the Vikings, what they do last year, who they have in there, where they, we loved them for a month. And then like he was Josh Dobbs, Jaron Hall got a cup of coffee in there. And there's somebody else terrible. I'm Kirk Cousins. There's a Josh Dobbs. There's a Jaron Hall in there. There's a, yeah, there's, there's, there's plenty of those. I don't know if he makes it to the finish line. He might not get to 3,500, even if he plays all 17 games. So,

Sam Darnold, under 34, 75 and a half. He'll maybe have a couple of good weeks to start and get everyone excited, but that'll be that. I really like that one. That's a great one. Congratulations. Great value here. Well, just look at those unders for, you know, you don't have to go brag about it when these guys get injured or whatever, but a lot of good unders for guys who might get yanked or injured in that quarterback spot. I love this one. Fandel has assistant coach of the year.

Ben Johnson, offensive coordinator for Lions. We love the Lions. This guy's coming second or third in this voting for the last two years. You can get him at nine to one. If you think the Lions are going to be explosive as I do, and I think you do, it's got to be his year at some point. He gets votes. He got like 65 votes last year. Is this bed in a speakeasy in the Futures Fusion basement? I didn't even know where to find this. What is it under?

It's on the rewards. Check it out. Yeah, it's right there on the rewards. Oh my God. I somehow missed it. For the Patriots. What was that? Van Pelt or something? He was like 250 to one. When you sent that to me, I thought you were kidding. I didn't realize that was an actual word that people could get on. I got a Photoshopper here. Yeah. Oh my God. So those are my two.

I probably have the wrong state downloaded. So Ben Johnson's 9-1. Who's his competition then? 9-1. Some awesome defensive coordinator. The problem is it's been defensive coordinators the last few years. So he's got to...

He's got to get over that for sure. But I got to figure, I don't have it up here, but let's see real quick. Wait, wait, real quick. Bobby, Bobby Sloic for the Texans is nine to one. The OC for them. Yeah. Drew Petsing for the Cardinal. They've got a guy named Drew Petsing is going to win. I'm sorry. Oh God. Great stuff. Okay. My next two, both overs. Fun to have the overs.

I don't want to get too negative as they dive into the season, like having some teams to root for. We talked about both of these teams when we did our pod. The Chargers over eight and a half. I'm all in on Harbaugh. And it's going to come down that week one, they're playing the Raiders and you like the Raiders. I like the Chargers. And I think if they can win that one, they're off. And then Green Bay over eight and a half. So their over is nine and a half, but this is an over eight and a half. So both teams to win nine games, Chargers, Packers, three to one plus 300.

Put that together. Sounds great. Cause I'm not worried about the Packers for the Packers to lose that. They'd have to have a losing record. They have way too much sound. I have a losing record. So basically you're betting on the chargers over anyway, but you get to throw the Packers in there at a nice price. That's one. Well, I don't even need, they don't even need to make the playoffs. Right. Right. You can go nine and eight and you're good. All right. I like that.

I'm going against the NFC South again. This is, I'm planting my flag in the NFC South sucks island. NFC East, more wins than the NFC South. Minus 175. I think this is my only minus future. It's in to have a bunch of, they put that in futures fusion. You just got to ask, it's where the tequila is. What a bounty this is. This is top shelf. This must be top shelf futures fusion. Yeah. So I was, I was going through it and,

Let's say the Giants and the Panthers, let's just cancel them out. Let's say they win the exact same amount of games. I think Washington is better than anyone who doesn't win the division in the NFC South. And now I have the Eagles and Cowboys against the top two in the NFC South. And I'm winning with those. I'm getting 20 plus wins out of the Eagles-Cowboys. I'm not getting 20 plus wins out of any two NFC South teams. So minus 175. 175.

So the NFC East over-unders are probably 23 or so, right? Yeah. It's a good value. Somewhere in there. All right. I like that. That's good. Is that your second pick or first? Yeah, that's my second. Listen, the Rams, I don't know how they do it, but Sean McVay gets...

I don't know if it gets lucky or that it's a great GM, but there's always somebody, whether it's a third round pick or first round pick jumps out. Karen Williams in his second year, we saw Cooper Cup as a third round pick and just these guys. And of course, Puka Nakua set the record. Jared Versus the guy this year, the defensive end for Florida State. He's going to win defensive rookie of the year at 10 to one. And everyone's going to be like the next Aaron Donald and everything. You know, they don't really play the same position. 10 to one for Jared Versus.

I like it. So who could beat him then? Oh, I have one. I have a different rookie of the year pick. So I have a zag on that one, but I like the odds on that. We could save for that. And I'll just go because you're going Chargers at exactly the same amount. I'm going Raiders over eight and a half, except I get a plus 240. Minshew, O'Connell, I think they'll figure it out. I know you hate this one, but I have to take a shot on one of them. Raiders over eight and a half plus 240. So that's an adjusted. Right.

Okay. Thank you, Raheem. I don't understand the Raiders case at all. I don't get it. And I heard Raheem on East Coast bias shitting on the Steelers as having a good defense, but he doesn't understand their offensive line and how they're going to score points. And this is the year Mike Tomlin doesn't have it.

And then 20 minutes later, he's like, the Raiders, I know they're going to struggle on offense, but I like their defense. And I'm like, the Raiders are the discount stealers. There's no way. You can't make the case for one and not the other. So I don't know. I agree. I got mad at Raheem. I'm walking along LA. I'm like, God damn it, Raheem. Don't get mad at Raheem. Don't get mad at Raheem. But if you have to pick three teams to replace last year's playoff teams, you're going to have to have like a six and a half win streak.

projected in there, right? Somewhere. So that's where I'm at. Okay. Well, on that note, I think there's going to be three NFC West playoff teams and you can bet on that on Fanville Sportsbook and it's plus 550. And I would assume it's going to be San Francisco, Seattle, and the Rams. I'm not going to completely rule out the Cardinals, especially with that, uh, that week one in Buffalo looks a little upset-ish. Um,

But I just don't like the NFC. And, you know, if you got Green Bay and Detroit and you got one...

NFC South team, that's it. That's only three teams. And then if it's Dallas versus Philly for one spot in the NFC East, and then I got my three NFC West teams, that's my path. So plus 550, I like the odds. I don't mind that. And I feel like you could hedge that week 17. You could probably week 18. You can get one game probably. I can't wait to unsuccessfully hedge it where I have three options and I'll somehow pick the wrong one.

Then the other one, I just, I don't understand the odds, especially when we're all in all these fantasy drafts and he's been the first running back taken in all of them. And yet Brees Hall to win the rushing title is plus 950. And I don't understand why the odds aren't better. Because if you told me pick somebody to win the rushing title, just with no odds, just who do you think is going to win the rushing title? I would pick Brees Hall.

So plus 950 sounds fantastic. Sign me up. Not bad. Talk about a category where only like three guys can win. If you've done any drafts this year, you know that that's the case. Three might be too many. But yeah, I like plus 950. Why do you think it's that high? I don't know.

I have no idea. I think they're laughing at us. Like you try to figure out which running backs good. Now we're going to have some guy you've never even heard of. You can jail and write or something. So the odds are McCaffrey plus six 50 Bijon seven to one, who by the way, has all gear on his team. Who's going to still get a lot of calories, Taylor eight to one, Brees nine to one Barkley, 10 to one, Derek Henry, 11 to one. I,

I feel like that's like my guess because McCaffrey McCaffrey is like the bell cow right so it's just tough to to overcome that but yeah once it's out of the way all right for two good listen let me just go with Jaden Daniels I think I said it on the NFC podcast offensive rookie of the year take all his overs I gave you Stroud last year for O'Roy it's going to be Jaden Daniels he's going to be dynamite lots of fun to watch and by you didn't give the odds the odds are incredible to one other

Oh, they're six to one, right? Still. Yeah. Yeah. So Caleb is like plus one 30 range. Right. And Daniels is six to one. And I don't understand. They're both, they're both going to have the ball a ton. They're both going to run around. Daniel says higher scramble potential. Yeah. And Daniel,

Both teams are going to score points. Washington has a bad defense, so they're going to be getting the ball back. Six to one, it hasn't moved either. It hasn't moved for three weeks, and I don't really fully understand it. He's going to be dynamite to watch. Yeah, I'm excited for him. I just get that. And then I'll just throw this in there. No one's going to like this. Super Bowl winner and MVP, Detroit and Dak, 200 to one.

Put me down for 50 grand. Go ahead. Your turn. You know, I saw those bets and I have one coming later. That's 200 to one, huh? Yeah. Yeah. Those are fun. So basically they don't even have to correlate like that could win the MVP and it doesn't mess up the other way. Chiefs and Lamar Jackson. Right. I mean, it didn't matter. Yeah. All right.

we can start going fast. So I got Denver over five and a half wins that I'm also going to put with new England under four and a half. And that's plus two 70. I, there's been a lot of buzz on that Broncos line being like a win too low. And I think we're all staring at it. I,

I just don't see Sean Payton going less than seven and 10. Like he went eight and nine last year and we watched all those games. I have no idea how that team went eight, nine. There's going to be four games where he just out coaches somebody. So over for that with the Pats, that's plus two 70. And then, uh, we haven't mentioned him yet. Marvin Harrison, the rookie receiving yard title, which I guess he's competing as neighbors and Michael Thomas and a dunes a plus one 50.

Why is that a plus in front of that? Like Marvin Harrison's winning the rookie yards title. He doesn't get hurt. So plus one 50 sign me up. Sounds great. Everybody loves that. I took Keon Coleman at much higher odds because I just, these bills receivers are going down. Josh Allen's going to have the year that I think he's going to have. He's got to, got to get it to someone. So, but yeah, that's probably the smart one. Okay. What do you got?

All right. Let me see what's left here. Okay. I'll go. Am I going to have more futures left than you? No, no. It's just like tapping. It's like we're at Fumu to Chow. I'm trying to get you to tap out. I just have a lot of the same stuff. Ravens to score a touchdown every game. I gave it out on our AFC pod. It's fine. You can redo those. It's happened once in 93 games where they didn't score a touchdown. 93 games. You have to go back to 2017.

December 22 against the Browns. It's such a fluky thing. So much talent. Maybe there's bad luck in a rainy December game, but put me up for that one. What are the odds on that one? I'm sorry. I'm going to give the odds. Minus 115. Minus 115. So throw that in there. That's nice action. Okay. So that's one of those where you're watching it and it's like week 11.

And they're playing Cleveland and there's a fourth down and goal, goal line stand. Right. There's a pick in the end zone. They're inside the 10 three times. They don't score. They settle for field goals. And you're like, oh my God. Right. This is how I'm going to lose this? I put a lot on it because I have a problem. But also...

because I want to be able to keep track of it. I don't want some loser on Twitter to remind me, oh, what happened to your Raiders not score? I'm like, oh, fuck. Oh, shit. I forgot I had that. So I'm going to be fully invested in that. Great, Len. I think we have some, well, you don't like the Cowboys over. Cowboys over. This is a Bill Sal thing right there on Fandle. Over nine and a half. Jaguars over eight and a half plus 230. That's the Bill Sal combo. So, all right. So you like the Cowboys. We're in. All right. Two to you or two to Luke.

I feel like you're going to tap out soon. We should have called this the Fogo to Chow draft. I'm still on green, buddy. What was that time we went to Fogo with Brad? And he wouldn't turn the... Well, one time I was with you. You've taken a bunch of times. Our crazy friend Brad, where he wouldn't turn the card over and then he just started moaning and he left. And he went to the bathroom and wasn't seen for 25 minutes. And it was a biohazard.

He sprinted to the bathroom. We went a few weeks ago. I had him at my house and he said he went to the bathroom. I was like, the kids have to, I sent one of the kids to check on him because that's what you got to do. And he said some guy was yelling at him in the bathroom. He's like, dude, what's going on? Are you all right? Because he was doing just that. He was moaning too much. Don't moan too much in the stall. It's going to, you're going to draw attention to yourself.

Yeah, don't moan in a public restaurant. Moaning is usually, there's no good scenario. Either it's a biohazard or somebody's having sex, maybe with themselves. Will you tell the other Brad story since he just stayed with you?

Um, Brad came over and he said, uh, he's, he's on this, some kind of, I don't know if it's medication or what, but he said his dreams are just wild. Now he's like, you wouldn't believe the adventures I'm going on. Randy, Randy, just at the beach or whatever. I'm in a car. I'm flying off a cliff. It's, it's madness. I was like, oh, well you got to maybe change your medication. Like, no, no, I like it. Like, really? He's like, you know what helps it along? Cotton candy.

But it's only a specific kind of cotton candy. So we had to, after dinner, go to CVS to get this cotton candy. It gets three buckets full. They luckily had it. And then he just loads up on cotton candy and goes to sleep and just has night terrors all through the night. It's spectacular. And your kids could hear him just screaming and yelling? Yeah.

Yeah, it's like fireworks, but it's like three in the morning and you don't know when it's going to stop. But the wife wasn't as big a fan. I was entertained and so were the boys. So there you go. We should mention Brad's in his mid-50s. Yes, he is. Yeah, early mid-50s. We should hope he gets to mid-50s. Physically, he's in his mid-150s. Right. I wouldn't count him in any of these futures. That's for sure.

Two quick ones for me. Seahawks playoffs is plus 168. And I like it more than they're over because if you're betting they're over, nine wins might make the playoffs in the NFC anyway. And I get a lot more juice in that playoff. So plus 168 like that. And then I mentioned the Lawrence 4,000 yards bet before. You can just bet that straight up. It's plus 150.

And that's just a, I, he has to get hurt for him not to hit that. And I don't know why those odds aren't lower. So I got those two back to you in the Fogo draft. Who's tapping out. All right. Not yet. Three, three AFC East playoff teams at six to one. If anybody wants to shut me up about Aaron Rogers and the jets, uh, it's right there for you because you know, um, realistically six to one plus 600. So Fandle has them right around 10 wins anyway. So we'll, uh,

We'll check that box. And let me give this... Man, 6-1. 6-1 seems high. Like, we did that Winspool draft that we finally brought back. Right. And...

All three of those teams were in the first 12 picks. They disappeared. Well, what'd you get for NFC West? What were the odds? Around the same. Yeah, it was plus 550. Okay. All right. I like them. But the NFC is weaker than the AFC. Right. Right. It's probably a better bet. And you mentioned Trevor Lawrence. Five or more touchdowns plus 420. He had five in 2022. He had four last year, and he sat out a game and a half. He averages about 70 carries a year. He takes it at the goal line every...

every now and again. So if you get five or more touchdowns adjusted, plus 420 for Trevor Lawrence. Jesus. That seems really high. Yeah. Plus 420. Okay. I really like this one. I can't believe it's still on the board.

You had him earlier as the under, which I think was a smart bet. Sam Darnold for passing yards. Yeah. I present to you the alternate scenario. What if Sam Darnold plays all 17 games? Is there a better bet on most interceptions? Because his odds are 10 to one on FanDuel. And I was looking at it. I was studying the interceptions from the last few years. It's somewhere between like 15 and 19 is the range. But you figure with them, like,

They're playing Detroit twice. They're playing Green Bay twice. Like Chicago's got a good secondary, couple of outdoor games. If he put in him trying to squeeze in and adjust to Jefferson, 10 to one seemed pretty tasty. He has the track record too of bad decisions. I like that. All right. So maybe we bet both. Maybe we bet like

It's almost like a hedge against your other one, but we're getting massive juice on both. Yeah, like a million on the under passing yards and 300 grand on 10 to 1 for most interceptions. One of them's got to hit. I like that. And then we've mentioned him a couple times, but

and this is the sucker bet of the year. I know everybody's taking it. I can't believe I can still get it at 10 to one, but Jim Harbaugh to be coach of the year is 10 to one. All you have to do is read any of the articles. Anyone is writing about the chargers the last two months and the interviews with the players and how they're just like talking about how the culture's changed. There's accountability now. It's like every code word that I'm all in on in the preseason. So you figure with,

Basically no receivers you'd want in a fantasy draft other than Josh Palmer with Baltimore's cast off running backs with Herbert on a bad foot, although it seems like he's okay. And then this defense that they're trying to rejuvenate and no home field advantage. They're playing the Raiders in week one at home and there's be more Raider fans there. Right. And him going nine and eight, 10 and seven.

Mike McDonald would be the other one I was worried about, but 10 to 1, I love those odds. So there you go. Here's the only thing I thought. These guys are all around the same odds. If Ibrahim Floos, Harbaugh, and Raheem Morris all win 10 games, who gets it? Right.

Probably Harbaugh because they were five wins last year, right? All right. And then the NCAA takes it from him or he gets the key. I don't know. I'm not sure. All right. Let me give a couple more. I thought you would turn the card over. No, I mean, I could always keep going. Tyree kill plus 750 offensive player of the year. We're always around week 14. If he started, if he's still healthy, like, well, why? Why are Tyree kill and McCaffrey not in the conversation for MVP? It's like, well, because.

you know, non-quarterbacks don't get MVP. They just don't. So I think if it's Hill or McCaffrey, I know you have Justin Jefferson back this year, but we don't love Sam Darnold who's throwing him the ball. So I really think it's between those two every year. So give me Hill plus 750. I like it. Offensive player of the year. He just got voted best player in the league by his peers. So he did, right? 750 seems fair. Yeah.

Um, Ooh, I might be out. You're right. I might be out. You're tapping out. Wait a minute. Oh, this is great. Yeah. Oh crap. Eagles. No playoffs. Plus two 25. Oh, you're scrambling now. Now you're running off to the bathroom with Brad. Lose to Brazil. Yep. In Brazil. What, what are the ads on that? Plus two 25.

All right. Go ahead. You win. I'll tap for now. I win. I'm so excited. Man, I had a couple more that I really liked. Go ahead. Well, you go. I mean, you could finish. Well, I'll do two more and then I'll do my runners up. Yeah. I had Murphy for defensive player of the year rookie at 11 to one. The Seattle beast in the middle. I have not read one thing about him that didn't seem like he was going to be awesome. Plus, you know how much I love the

I fell to 16 and I can remember the eight guys who got taken in front of me. Like he's one of those guys, potentially good defense, good coach. So I'm in on him. Okay. And then my last one. Oh, this is a fun one. I have some other ones I like, but we can end on this one. Cause you did this version of this CJ Stroud to win the MVP and Detroit to win the super bowl. 110 to one. Yeah. So,

The Detroit part, we've already discussed that a million times. CJ Stroud to win MVP, I think they'd have to be a one or a two seed. They'd have to win 11 or 12 games. I think he would have to throw for over 4,500 yards and have like 33 TDs, five picks.

There's a case. He was top five last year. Yep. So I just thought those odds were fantastic. You know what I'm going to do? I'm going to do... Why don't we do it this way? Because those odds are ridiculous. You get over 100 to 1 odds on any of these. If we pick four teams and four players and just match them...

I think we're in it. We're in it in the last couple weeks of the season. For sure. If you like Detroit to win the Super Bowl, you might as well do four of the MVP odds with them and try to... Because there's only four guys who have a chance to win the MVP probably unless Josh Allen is awesome. All right. The ones I left on the table, best record Detroit was 10-1. Detroit over Houston in the Super Bowl, it has to be exact. That was 90-1. That's my Super Bowl pick. The Detroit and Kansas City to be the one seeds...

26 to one. Wow. Wow. You want to take that one for the last pick? Yeah. Yeah. Go ahead. All right. That's good. I'm going to give that one to you. 26 to one. Who else would you take to be the one seed? In the AFC? No, just in general. If you were like, hey,

You can bet your life there will be two one seeds. Who are you betting your life on? I would bet on Detroit and KC. 26 to 1? That would be it. I mean, I like Buffalo a little more than KC, but I just think they're going to beat them in the playoffs.

TJ Watt, defensive player of the year, is plus 700 if you're using that. Miles Garrett on Cleveland, being on an awesome defense where you're the best guy, sometimes that propels it up. Pittsburgh's D is really good. Stay healthy. Yep. Obviously. And then a couple, two Niners, if Niner season from hell is in play, Niners under nine and a half wins is plus 260. And you could also go Seattle, Rams, San Francisco, Arizona, one, two, three, four, exact, 20 to one. Seattle, Rams, San Francisco,

So you're saying San Francisco is going to have a super disappointing year and barely get into the playoffs at nine and nine and eight. So point that and fall behind the Rams and the, and Seattle wins the division 20 to one. I thought that is what I do. I do have a, I do have them second in that division, but that's not bad. That's not bad. I love them under 11 and a half too. So,

Well, that was it. The first annual NFL Futures draft presented by Futures Fusion and Fogo to Chow, who didn't even know they were going to be involved in the podcast. We went, they had no idea. What a win for them. They're like, this is great. You know what? They need a win after Brad's visits. So I think we feel like we owed Fogo to Chow after what happened. We're even now, Fogo. All right. We take a break and do guest lines.

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I say agile. Agile platform that constantly evolves to future-proof your organization. Be a finance and HR rockstar with Workday. Visit workday.com to learn more. All right, it's time. Guess the lines. Week one.

2024. And because gambling lines are so omnipresent and I don't know how I do it, but I, I, I genuinely avoid them all through the summer. And then once we got to like about eight, nine days ago, I was like, I not only do I want to see the lines cause I want to bet a couple of things early, but I know I'm going to end up seeing them. So I sent you a bunch of guesses. So tell us specifically why you had to see him because you're like, I got a bet against, I got a bet against the Patriots.

That Bengals teaser isn't going to be there much longer. I wanted to put the Pats in a tease. The preseason made me so bad. I'm just betting against them in week one. And by the way, I feel no guilt about it. I want the Pats to be bad this year. Anyway, every year since 2007, so this is our 18th year together, we've been catching the Lions. This started...

Well, you started even earlier than me. What was it with Darren? With the parlay kid. Yeah, we used to do it in college. He used to hide in a closet. So his girlfriend, now wife, didn't hear him talking gambling. But yeah, so now here we are. 18 years later. Yeah, so when I moved to LA in 2002, we had desks next to each other in the Jimmy Kimmel Live offices, which are still there. And then week one, we got the USA Todays out. We did Guest Aligns. And then I left the show.

And we would just do it on the phone. Right. And I think I have in a column from somewhere, I was like, this would be the greatest radio show, me and Sal guessing the lines. I sound like I'm insane. But when I got the podcast in 2007, that fall, we immediately started with Guess the Lines. Yeah. You said greatest radio show. I was like, no, no podcast. You're like, what is that? And then I explained to you, I was like, it's going to turn out good for you. So yeah. All right.

So this podcast has a lot of history.

We've done it all over the place. It was the podcast that got me suspended from ESPN for three weeks, which I'm still mad about. 10-year anniversary coming up. Anyway, we guessed the lines. I usually win. I don't remember the last time you've won. I don't know. I haven't beaten you in a while. I don't think so. And I feel like I'm ready, though. I lost a lot on college football yesterday. Screw you, Texas A&M. Oh, good. Congrats. Yeah. So it's like when you overeat appetizers and you still have a strip steak coming, it's like, ah.

All right, I'll put it away, but let's do it. Thursday night, opening night in Kansas City, the Kansas City Chiefs are playing the Baltimore Ravens. And I guessed minus four for this game. And what did you have? I had minus four as well. And it's minus three. So we tie. Should we stop now? We just tied. So what are the reasons? Why do you think this dropped? What do you think happened? This Thursday game was almost,

always an automatic four for the favorite, for the incumbent, you know, and now it's like,

Your team kind of ruined it. You beat the Chiefs on the road or the Chiefs beat you on the road, right? Patriots was a Thursday night game years ago. Last year, it was three and a half against the Lions and they lost the Chiefs. So it's obviously not the end of the world, but I don't know why there would be a lot of Ravens backers here. The last four years, they kind of started messing around in the late 2010s.

And then this decade, they've gone back to having the Super Bowl champ post the first game. Detroit beat KC by one last year. Buffalo killed the Rams 31 to 10. The Bucks beat Dallas by two, but did not cover. That was a really fun game. And then KC in 2021 beat Houston 3420. They're the only team that's covered in the last four years. Right. So this used to be an automatic.

something shifted. I guess the question for me is Ravens revenge game or, Oh, should we be worried about the Ravens game? Cause it feels like it's gone one way or the other. Yeah. Well, that's my one only thing with the chiefs over wins and one seed. Like they've,

They now know they can win on the road. They now know they don't have to win the first game. They could be like, you know, 11 and six after. So nothing really bothers them. But you're right. This is a test for the Ravens. They get beat up here. You think, wow, that's a tough AFC North they have to go through after this. Do you think this is the last chance this week to grab Mahomes futures?

Almost like when, you know, like whatever that Amazon day is or when you go on some website, it's like 50% off next two days. And then everything goes back to full price and you go back there. You go in a store and it's like, oh, fuck, I should have gotten that shirt.

Because all the Mahomes, the MVP, anything involving him is the best price you're ever going to get right now. Yeah. And he has a billion primetime games. I think we said they play every day of the week, except Wednesday this year. So yeah, you're right. His visibility is higher than anybody else's. So what is it still? Plus 450? Usually gets six to one for MVP. Yeah. You've said this every year that just bet Mahomes for MVP. It's basically like a mutual fund. That's right. Yeah.

It'll work. Friday night, we're going to Brazil. Wow. There's some weird internet rumors about this game over the weekend that it might be canceled because of the smog that then turned out to be misinformation. Go figure. Oh, really? But we have the Eagles and the Packers on a Friday night in Brazil. The NFL has crossed...

A line that they always said they would never cross. We never want to go against high school football. Friday night is sacred. We're never going to do it. Goodell's imperialism. He's like, F this. We waited around you high school kids. You can play Wednesday if you want. Sorry, guys. Yeah, he's basically, Goodell is Ted DiBiase now. Right. He's like, everyone's got a price. Friday night, whatever.

Eight o'clock in Brazil. Cut me a check. Do you think the NFL will play a game in Abu Dhabi in the next three years? Because my bet would be yes.

Maybe not three, but yeah. Yeah. I'm sure they'd have to figure it out. That's because I heard the team USA played two games over there and got like 40 million for the team USA program. Those two basketball games they played. The boxing's going over there all the time. UFC, like anywhere in Saudi Arabia. And I just at some point could that was that could be able to turn it down. Yeah, there's no way.

Well, so the Europe thing, we know for sure they're trying to get a team in there, right? Yeah, or like a little four-team division or something. Yeah, something's going on. Are they doing that with South America too? Are we going to... Because then I would think Abu Dhabi might just be a waste. Well, it should be a straight paycheck. They're like, here's $300 million for one game. Anyway, Eagles, Packers...

And my pick was Eagles minus one and a half over the Packers. What'd you have? I went slightly higher. I said two and it's two and a half. So you hit that one. Listen, I always win the first week and it doesn't matter, but.

I want a big Dom. I don't know if big Dom's ready for the handle, the hooliganism in Brazil, the Eagles. Remember the security guy? He's back. Then you get like a, he's back. Like promoted or something. Got a slap on the swollen wrist. And he's back. It's like assistant GM or something crazy. Now I thought, uh, the more I stared at this game, uh,

And the only reason I could see the Eagles being minus two and a half was they're pretty good. And there's six now in their last two Septembers. Um, and green Bay's got banged up running backs. People are worried about other than that. I, I, I have these two teams even in my head.

And I don't know why this isn't a pick them. I know I'm going to end up talking myself into Packers. I think there's some tea stuff with them, maybe bringing them back to plus eight and a half, but this would violate my rule. I told you I was going to do five days ago is don't bet on any of this fucking games. I read this story about AJ Brown was saying like, I'm just not leaving my hotel room.

I'm not leaving the entire time we're there. Weird shit happens when you go to these countries. These are hard to bet on. This is a bad deal for Philly, especially if they lose, obviously. But I don't know. You want to give up one of your home games and go to Brazil against a good team to start off? I mentioned Texas A&M, but it's like, hey, watch what everybody's doing. They're 40-point favorites, all these college powerhouses. Just don't play anyone good the first couple of weeks. Right. Don't play in Brazil.

Our Sunday marquee game. Oh, by the way, Brazil banned Twitter. Right. So anyone who covers this game won't be able to tweet. So I don't know how we're all going to survive. How are we going to find out what happened? There's no way. Now I'm going to have to actually watch the game instead of Twitter. Sunday marquee game could have gone in a lot of directions. But, you know, it's your team. Tom Brady's announcing for the first time ever. Right. It's Deshaun Watson against Dak.

There's injured guys on both sides. Cleveland's not going to have Nick Chubb. They're not going to have a left tackle. They might have more offensive line injuries. You don't have Bland. Cleveland's D was really good at home last year. 13.9 points per game at home. 29.6 on the road. Your team has a big bullseye on it. Everyone's talking. Always. Yep. And I think it's the marquee game, right? That's fine. I'll take that. There are some others I'm interested in, but yeah. In Cleveland,

Browns, Cowboys, and I have the Cowboys favored by one and a half over the Browns. Well, I hit this exactly. You forgot to implement the Cowboys tax. You'll remember. You'll remember. It's two and a half, and I said two and a half. But you just got to think the big money isn't coming in on the Browns just yet, even at home. I think that's fair, two and a half. Although I could see Cleveland stealing this too. Here's the problem with betting Cleveland. Well, A, they're not going to be able to run the ball, but

You're like, no, no Browns home, home dog round one. And then Deshaun sales, his first pass over somebody's head. And you're like, what did I do? He's just walking off. I, I, to me, this is a stay away.

I don't know what to make either of these teams. I don't think I would be betting on this game. I'll be watching it. It's so bad because I obviously have to defend my Cowboys against people like you and Hench and just cannot see that the regular season is different from postseason, but whatever. And then I have Cleveland to win that division, so I'm going to bind either way here. But go Cowboys. Yeah, you boxed yourself in. Yeah.

Cowboys minus two and a half. Okay. The watchables. I got three legit watchable games. Now, granted, we have a Friday and a Thursday and a Monday game. So we're a little asleep. But first one, it's in Buffalo. The Bills are playing the Cardinals. And I can't wait to watch this game. I think the Cardinals are going to be super fun to watch. The Bills, you know, Milano's out. Secondary's banged up. Seems like a nice spot. I keep staring at that Arizona plus 215.

But when I had to guess this, I guess Bill's five and a half over the Cardinals. What'd you have? You got it exactly. I said six and a half. This is the Hail Murray rematch, right? Wasn't that to... I mean, no Hopkins on this team anymore. But yeah, this is a fun one. And I feel like we've grown up because I think we would have been like, oh, teaser. No doubt about it. Buffalo, let's do it. No way. Yeah. Either you're teasing the Cardinals or you're just taking the money line, I think, for this one. And also...

fully admit you'd take Cardinals and whatever. And then it's like, and the bill let's we're back in Buffalo. The bills are up 27 to nothing. Right. Josh Allen has two touchdowns. He's also thrown for two. Yeah. What did I do? 11 inches of snow somehow. Uh, first week in September. No one can understand it.

Yeah, that's, I feel like that line's going to go down. I think that goes down to four and a half by the time we get to, uh, to Sunday, but that's going to be a really fun one. A lot of fantasy guys in that game too. Next one is a great game. Could have been in the discussion for the marquee Texans Colts. We are going to Indianapolis for this one. And I picked the Colts.

minus one. Yeah, you were off on this one. I was way off. Yeah, I was. I said Texans by one and a half and even I was off. It's Texans minus two and a half. Yeah. You know what? And I made this pick eight, nine days ago and since then there's been just a lot of Texans buzz, including on our podcast and it was a bad pick by me. Texans are, Colts are 0-9-1 in their last 10 week one games. Not sure if that matters for this, but 0-9-1? 0-9-1. Last 10 week one. Yep.

Couple things going on in this game. I think this is my number one pick for the overreaction game. Whatever happens in this game, massive overreaction, right? Richardson kills Houston and he's awesome. And they beat Houston. We go, it's just Richardson day the next day. Houston takes care of business, beats the Colts again in Indy. And then, um, and CJ Stroud looks awesome.

A lot of buzz that way, but then also Richardson doesn't look good. And then it's like, oh no, Richardson, are we sure he's good? It just feels like whatever happens, there's going to be an overreaction. People are banged up on both sides here because Texans pass, Russians banged up. Indy's got some receivers. Indy didn't change their secondary from last year, which I thought was interesting because I was reading about the games last year and they're just like, we're running it back, even though CJ Stroud did what he wanted against them. But I'm probably going to bet Houston on this game, by the way.

Yeah, well, if it stays under three, right, that might be the way to go. We like them better than the Colts this year. So 0-9-1 is tough. Here's another one I'm probably going to bet. Miami, home for the Jaguars. I initially picked Dolphins minus four. There's been some injuries on the Dolphins side. What'd you have? I had three and a half, and it's down to three. So I get that. That's a good one. I feel like you're cheating. That's a good one.

No, no, no. You're the one who sees the NFL Reddit teams. I don't do any of that stuff. So Miami's missing Chubb. They're missing Odell Beckham. Barrios might have to play third receiver. They're missing their left guard. Their D-backs are banged up. Waddle and Tyreek are both questionable right now, but probably playing. And odds are it's going to be fucking hot there, which it's two Florida teams, so they'll be fine. But

We always, I'm going to make a note this year for week one too, because we always forget when it's 85, 90 and 100% humidity. I always remember after the fact, I don't know who that's going to hurt, but I'm in on, I'm in on the Jags. I could, I could see spending some betty money on them. Yeah. Well, I don't know if it was going to hurt either, but yeah, when it's like 140% humidity, I don't think you could make it higher than three with two decent teams. Fairly watchables. Yeah.

You could tell me if any of these should have been in the other category, but Bears Titans I put in there just because Caleb's first game. I'm interested. I want to know how it looks. I want to see if they whip it around.

I had the Bears minus three and a half at home against the Titans. I went a little higher, and I win this. I said four, and it's four and a half. Yeah, so we're in the Vegas zone. Well, this is the first week. You accused me of cheating, but I do use the over-under win totals to decide what I'm going to pick for a line, and the Bears are considerably expected to do better than the Titans, so I had to put it in the Vegas zone. Feels like either Monday morning, Sunday night,

Chicago fans over the moon going nuts how good they looked or it gets dark immediately. This is another overreaction candidate, but it's only really for the Bears. I don't think anything could happen with the Titans. That would make people crazy, but there's two worlds with the Bears and one of them is going to be extreme. Yeah, it's a must win for the Bears.

Yeah, it kind of is. It's a week one must win. Yeah, it's one of their must winners. By the way, I know we needed a Friday game to make this work, but eight early, four afternoon, one Sunday night, one Monday. Let's just stick to this, please. When there's no buys, please let's stick to this. Well, it gets worse. Don't we have a 10 and a three coming up or a 10 and a two? There's two 10s in there. And it's like,

I think Scott Hanson came on. They changed it because of red zone watchers. They're like, well, we can't have two late afternoon games with the red zone. What about us, the old schoolers who actually watch all of these? Why did it have to take red zone to make a move here? Your game's late, right? Because I feel like they want to drive people to your game late. Yeah, Cowboys are late afternoon. Yeah, they want people watching Brady. Yeah.

So next one is Falcon Steelers, which initially I had in the watchables. But the more you read about the Steelers offense, there's a better chance it's going to be unwatchable. I texted you before and I was like, if you had one regret, one possible do over under pod, just Steelers, you said.

It seems like everyone's out on the Steelers. Like what happened between Tuesday and Sunday? Well, their offensive line is, I think in shambles. Oh, right. Jalen Warren's hurt. This is like, I kind of needed them to win this game as part of my overrunner. And it feels like this is a horrible spot for them to have the Arthur Smith revenge game. Cause these are offensive coordinator now. Yeah. Um,

But it just feels like their offensive line has kind of passed the point and overturned. That was one of the reasons I liked them this season. They drafted, they spent on it, but they've had bad luck all over the place. So this is another overreaction possibility because-

You could see the Steelers just not being able to do anything. Judon gets a sack. Simmons makes a play. Raheem Morris is jumping around, fist pumping, and the Falcons win like 30-3. Cousins is back. The NFC South is for real. I will say, Pitt might be the nobody believes in us team.

Everyone's out on them. I think it's just, I think I'm the only one that picked them in the playoffs. If there's anyone else out there who like everyone's like out on them, like even on the ringer pods,

like the bundo and austin gale on friday on the bread zone on ringer gambling just like destroying pittsburgh on your pod like who likes pittsburgh anybody i would uh you know what it is that we i think we talked about it you look at their schedule there's just you just can't come up with air you can't just do it there's no two weeks in a row where it's like oh okay you know so on the other hand they're gonna be in every game they just kind of are they'll get blown out once maybe twice you know but this is

Otherwise, it's just a knuckleball 1917 fourth quarter kind of thing. I feel like people are... I still feel like people are glossing over the defense, but you're going to be asking a lot. Yeah, if it's healthy, they're great. The over-under on this game is 40 and a half. And this game feels so undery to me. Yeah, right. It's just... Are the Steelers going to score...

I don't know. 17 points? I don't see it. Okay. We didn't pick it, though. We didn't pick the... Oh, we didn't? We didn't pick it? I think we should have picked it. I had Falcons minus three and a half in Atlanta. So I said two and a half, and it's three. Okay. Which is probably where it should be. Yeah. I think that shifts up by Sunday. I think that ends up at three and a half, don't you? I don't see a lot of Pitt money coming in. Everyone's out on Pitt. All the advanced metrics, they're all like, we're out.

I think it stays. I think it stays. Mike Tomlin, I believe in you still. I can't believe you want a mulligan for our movie. I didn't say mulligan. I said if I, you know, we're on the record. I'm saying if I could have a mulligan. I see. All right. I think I would switch Pittsburgh and Buffalo as my playoff team. And I think I would put Buffalo in the playoffs. But I don't have a mulligan, so I'm going to ride with the problem. Yeah, I know. Post it. Chargers, Raiders.

I could argue this is a watchable just because there's so much going on. But I picked it's in LA, which is usually a good thing for the team that's the home team. But in this case, the Raiders will probably have 40,000 fans there. I am not scared. I have Chargers by two and a half. I got this exactly. I said three and a half. So they don't believe in the run. Again, I was just going by the old run to win things. But you're right. There's no home advantage at all. It's a disadvantage in this case. This is three and a half now. I thought it was two and a half.

I looked 10 minutes before we went. Oh, it's up to three and a half. Wow. Yeah. Did that move in the last 12 hours? I didn't check, honestly, until this morning. I think it moved. This is a Nance Romo game.

There's some good storylines for this. Yeah, because Harbaugh, you know, they played in December and the Raiders beat them 63-21. And they ended up firing Staley. That was Easton Stick. They ran it up. Right. And I just, I'm thinking of Harbaugh this whole week, just doing the, last time we played these guys, they embarrassed you. Right. You know. That was a Thursday night. But yeah, I just, I thought they'd get a better game. But then you look at it, it's like, I guess nothing else really makes sense. I think Harbaugh's first game is a good game. Yeah. All right.

This might be a Chargers defense wins it by itself game. Adams and Bowers are both questionable for the game. You got Harbaugh versus Antonio Pierce. That'll be fun.

I like the Chargers. I love every single one of them. Well, you're beating me in Guest Alliance, which I don't like. That last one is Bucs at home for the Washington Commanders. And I bet on Bucs minus three for this one. What'd you have? We both had, oh no. Yeah, I had three also. It's three and a half. Yeah. So we tie there. That's tough. So this is a human weather game. What do you mean?

It's in Tampa and it could be a weather. Yeah. This could be one of those. Oh my God. Not that Washington is a walk in the park anyway, but this is a complete stay away from me. I want to watch Washington for a week. I'm not betting on that. We have no idea how bad their defense is staying away. I think it's going to be fun for Jade and Daniels, but yeah, it'd be fun. I'll roof. I'll roof for him. I don't want money on it. Poop fact that Bengals versus the paths it's in Cincinnati.

It's our first poop-fecta game. I have the Cincinnati Bengals by 10. I said nine, and it's nine and a half, so we tie that. Split. I'm taking the Patriots and the points. I think Zach Taylor's still vacationing in early September. They got killed by the Browns last year, their first game. They lost to the Steelers. Burrow was hurt. He was hurt. Last year's first game. Lost to the Steelers in overtime two years ago.

The chase even playing, you manipulated Hench to trade him Jamar Chase who's in street clothes. Oh, in our keeper league. I did do that. Not sure what's going to happen. So since he's missing their left tackle and they don't know if they're going to be missing chase or not, the Patriots are missing talent on both sides of the ball. I saw that in the injury report. The Patriots are like, we have a good secondary. Does that help us? The talent's not even day to day. They're just out, huh?

I don't see a scenario where the Pats hang in this game. Who would you tease them with? I don't think you ever told me. Who have I not teased them with? No, I like them with the Packers. I like the Packers getting points in that Brazil game. And I did something with the Lions too. All right. That first one. Anyway. Not bad. Vikings Giants in New Jersey. I have the Vikings somehow. Maybe the only time this year they'll be favored. Vikings minus one and a half over the Giants.

Well, is that what you have? Oh, I thought you said the Giants favorite. Yeah, you get this then. Either way. I had the Giants by two and a half. And you're right. It's the Vikings on the road favored by one and a half. Can I F this up? No. Who's home? No, the Giants are home. What? What? What's going on? They're not favored? The Giants are home. They stink. And I think part of this is that I don't know if the Giants have a home field advantage. Yeah.

This is very bad news for Danny Dimes if he can't be favored over. Their offensive line not only sucks, but it's banged up. Their linebackers are super banged up. Their DBs are bad, so we might have a good Jefferson game. They're going to be booing Danny Dimes from the moment he shows up.

Minnesota's missing Hockinson for four weeks and Addison looks like he's out, but I still like the Vikings. By the way, I would not bet on this game because if you bet on this game, you're betting on Sam Darnold playing in the old giant stadium. This is a fucking stay. Oh, the ghosts and everything. Yeah. Can't do it. I just, the Vikings were all right. So again, I'm just, this is how I did the lines week one over seven and a half giant, six and a half giants are home, but you say no home field advantage.

And they have a new logo at midfield. All right. The only thing I would bet on is the New Jersey turf will do something awful in this game. That seems to be a September tradition. The turf eats them. Justin Jefferson again. Sorry.

We don't need to spend a lot of time on Saints Panthers, which is in New Orleans. A lot of injuries both ways. Well, the league sent out a memo before we guess a line on this and said there's no way to bet and win this game. So stay away. There's just no... They went all different ways, but can't do it. Well, I had the Saints minus six, which was off. What'd you have? Yeah, I went high too. Five and a half, but it's four and a half. Vegas zone. Vegas zone.

Both teams have a bunch of injuries already. The thing for me and why I kept looking at the Panthers is I'm not sure New Orleans is going to have a home field advantage this year because of how unpopular Carr is. And just in general, the fans, I think, are pretty mad about this team and what's happened with it. Right. And it does feel like Bryce comes out, does something. They're up 7-0. Carr throws a pick. And I think the crowd turns immediately. So it's almost like that first quarter is going to

Be where it goes. Wow. Panthers first quarter. Let's bet it. The Panthers money line, I think is, I think is enticing. And I think that line drops. I think that goes, I wouldn't bet it, but I would bet the money line, not the one. Again, the league sent out a memo. I know. I'm just saying, if you're betting this game, bet the money line, throw out the points. Last one. Seahawks home.

For the Denver Broncos. I kind of wish these two teams weren't playing each other because I like both of them. I had the Seahawks. Old AFC West battle. Yeah. I had Seahawks minus four. You get this. I said three and a half. It's five and a half. Yeah. We moved Vegas only. Let me count these up. Seven. I'm coming back a little bit. Seven, eight, nine, ten, eleven. This is where you make a mistake counting. You can do our comeback next week. It's 11-7. One, two, three. I'm not winning them. Yeah. Yeah. All right. Good. I told you. This is the only one I win. All right.

I, uh, I'm going to try hard not to put the Seahawks in a teaser parlay. Yeah. I think this line feels a whiff too high, but it is a rookie quarterback on the road in Seattle. Are we going to see a stat any day now about rookie quarterbacks on the road against the spread? Yes. And with not exactly a bevy of skill position guys, but Tyler Lockett's banged up. They're missing a pass rusher, but otherwise Seattle looks pretty good. Okay. Two more. And these are both great ones. Sunday night, Detroit home for the Rams. Yeah.

Oh, my God. We talked to Jared Goff. That guy is so happy. He has no no real feelings against the Rams. Mike, he's he's happy for everybody. Worked out for him. Did you know Matthew Stafford used to play for the Lions? Did you even know that, Mike? These guys played on each other's teams. There's no animosity. It's great, Mike. Rams left tackles out.

They have a guard playing center. Nakua is still banged up. Yeah. Detroit's healthy. Rams almost beat them in round one last year. I just, to me, this is like, if you believe in the Lions, you got to fucking bet them this game. You have to take them. You have to bet them. This is like, if you think they're a one seed and they're all the shit they're going to do, like this is a game. Take care of business. Take the lead. Keep the, keep the foot in the pedal and go. Monday night.

Well, the Lions, we didn't guess it, but it scares me, this line. We both said four and a half. So I'm just setting up these games and we're not actually guessing the Lions. We're doing a whole new thing this year. Yeah, I'm trying to get my mojo back. Guess which lines we're going to guess because we're not going to guess all of them. I'm just moving on. You don't even get to guess the line. I guess Lions minus four and a half over the Rams. Yeah, so we both did and we both like the Lions. Why is it three and a half? It's a little bit fishy. Tiny bit fishy. A little fishy. Like what was the playoffs? The playoff game when they...

Good deal higher than that, wasn't it? I think people are afraid of the Rams now. They've just burned too many people. They're like one of those boxers. Nobody wants to fight anymore. Right, right. You know, it's like give McVay like six guys and somebody could throw the ball and he could try to almost beat you. Monday night, great game. San Francisco 49ers home for the New York football Jets. I picked 49ers by four and a half.

Yeah, I said four because there's so, so much Jets love here. Yeah. 49ers are a little banged up too. And it's three and a half. Yeah. I get that. I get the week. That line was four and a half, uh, eight, nine days ago after I guessed the lines and sent them to you. Yeah. Yeah. Well, when I guessed them, there was, but now it is what it is. But, um,

And I was like, do I need to put something in on this? Because I know that's going to drop. And now, I mean, Greenlaw's out. Caffrey's still hurt. Hufanga might play, might not. Warner's banged up. Leonard Floyd's banged up. Ricky Pearsall's obviously not playing. Yep. Trent Williams is holding out. We have no idea if we're going to see him. Ayuk has had a fucked up offseason, and I guess he's going to play, but...

You get a free four plays out of Rogers. Like no question about it. It's definitely going to get in there for four. We know this would be the healthiest. The jets will be all year. Yeah. Um, I really liked the spot for them and they, the jets are, they just have a ton of talent. I don't think they'd be afraid of this game. And, uh, and if you like the jets and you don't like the Niners that much, then you got to bet this game.

That's it. Guess the lines. You're up. As always, you're up 1-0 in week one of the NFL season. I spy. I know. I think I was like minus 650 to take the first week. And then the over-under wins go away and there's nothing I could do.

You'll be breaking down all those games on Against the Lads. Yeah. This is the week. I'm going to be doing million dollar picks again on Thursday. Let's take one more break. I'm going to do parent corner. Thanks again to Workday for sponsoring this segment via finance and HR rockstar with Workday. To learn more, visit Workday.com. This episode is brought to you by PNC Bank. Unlike this podcast, some things in life should be boring, like banking.

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All right, Sal, parent corner. What do you got? All right, here we go. Let's start it with, oh man, it's been some summer, but let's pick on my middle kid, Jack. Jack Romo, quirky kid. I named him after Tony Romo. He turned around and started rooting for the Steelers.

Yeah. What I deserve there. Right. Perfect. Perfect for me. So, uh, like I said, work, he's got some Napoleon dynamite, like qualities, the love and the death. But since the Mets started, I do have him rooting for the Mets. That's good, but not for him. But when, since they started with this grimace nonsense, he bought a costume. It's a big purple plastic covering. And one day, um, like a month ago, he wore it to, or I guess it wasn't a month ago. It was before school ended. He wore it to school and,

And then walked to McDonald's and asked for the Grimace Shake. And like they didn't like by his account, no one laughed. No one did anything. They didn't know what he was doing. They didn't have the Grimace Shake. It was only available in Canada. So he like left and he had to walk home that day in this stupid costume. Yeah, it's miserable. And I felt terrible for the kid. I'm like, wow, this is pathetic. So a few weeks ago, the Mets are playing in Anaheim.

And I was like, I'm bringing the family. It's easier to get to Anaheim from where I am than Dodger Stadium. And I look and it's like $47 for six row seats. I'm like, this is the best. I'm doing it. So we get there. Is it $47 because the Angels don't have anyone you'd want to see in person? Lots of reasons. I thought that was the number one reason. I turned out when I got there. That was not the number one reason. But anyway, Jack is going to bring his grimace caution. I'm like, you know what?

Jack, no one's really going to get it. I know it's a Mets thing. He's like, I'm bringing it. I want to bring it. I want to wear it. I'm like, all right, fine. Here we go. This appointment again. We get there. The seats are forty seven dollars. Yes, because the angels suck and because it is blistering hot.

Oh, it's in the sun side. Oh, it's 101 and there's no relief. So all the middle tier, the mezzanine that are covered, they're full. You can get that up. Anything that's covered is full. Anything down below, you can roll around on the dugout if you want. It doesn't matter. So here I am thinking, and like I said, there's no relief. So my wife is like, I'm out. She went and sat in the shade outside the stadium or something. And now it's us. And I'm like, wow, am I just like me sitting there in this costume, like burning up?

I think it's like, I think he's going to like combust. Like it's going to set fire. I'm like, am I just the worst father for doing this? And then all of a sudden, like a ton of people come and want to take selfies with this kid. With the Grimace kid. With the Grimace costume. And like, he's like, yeah, sure. Of course I'll take a picture. And he's like, got all these...

you know, all these goombas from New York coming up, taking the selfie and everything. I'm not kidding. It must've been like 40 selfies with people. He was a big hit. He got on the local Bally's broadcast of the angels game. They showed him like twice. And so, um, I don't know what the moral of the story is other than the Mets got their asses handed to him. But, uh, I guess this has a happy ending. So, so, so,

So this is how like superhero movies start. Yeah, right. Now he's going to get exposed to a nuclear reactor and all of a sudden he's going to be the grimace. The Mets have all these so many dumb things going on. I guess he could have dressed as a hot tour girl. That would have been great. Yeah, it's nice. That was a great first pair corner story. Thank you. Thank you. Yeah. Good for you. Goodbye, you, Jack.

I had a lot of ways I can go. I'm actually going to keep Ben Simmons on the bench this week, even though I had seven stories. So my daughter started dating this guy. She goes to college. She's like, I'm not going to have a boyfriend all year. I'm going to do soccer. And within a month has a boyfriend. You love this guy. Really great kid. So then he came out and visited during the summer because she was here. And then we were going, I had some time off. And one of the places we went to was we went to Hawaii and

So when we're planning it, she's like, hey, can we bring Tommy? And my wife's like, yeah, let's bring him. And he's a great kid. So he comes to Hawaii with us. Then two weeks later, we have to go to the Cape for the Simmons family Cape week, which we hadn't been to in forever. It's the whole family. And we're in Hawaii. And Tommy's like, you know, I'd really like to go to that. I love your dad.

And I'm like, I, there's going to be like a lot of like cousins and like, you definitely don't want to go to this. He's like, no, no, it'll be fine. I'm good. And stuff like that. So anyway, he comes to the Cape with us and then they leave. And instead of going back to where he's from in Miami, he,

He just decides to go to Boston because Zoe started soccer and ends up staying with my dad for another week. And he's like as in as I've seen a college boyfriend with the family. And I don't know what from everything I laid out. And they're almost at a year. I mean, the odds of somebody with their marrying their college boyfriend, I think it's what, 200 to one to 50 to one.

300 to one? Lower? No. Well, with me as a dad begging you not to marry your college boyfriend, you have to factor that in the odds, right? Right. So that's why he went to the grandfather. He's trying to win over like other family members. Sure. But so this is, and it's gotten to this point where I'm like, I don't know how they break up. So he might be around for a while. Yeah. I don't know. When was the last time people met when they were 19 and got married?

It doesn't happen, I don't think, that much. Doesn't happen anymore. That's why I thought I would bring it up as my parent corner. I like it. On this pod to just basically reverse jinx it. Because she's too young. She can't get married. Well, you don't have to get married next year, but you like the guy, right? No, he's a great kid. You want to meet someone new? You have to meet someone new. Yeah. Yeah, no, it's good. Yeah, so there you go. I guess my point is young love still exists, Sal. I guess so. And he's literally grandfathered in.

He is. My dad loves them. They hang out. He got my dad to watch UFC, which you're going to be shocked to learn my dad did not enjoy UFC that much. He didn't take to it? No. He didn't take to it as they were watching. He's a Miami guy. If your dad starts rooting for the Heat, then you have to turn on the Heat. So there were a lot of Miami jokes. My dad was wearing his Celtics championship hat the entire week. There was a lot of...

Hey, Miami didn't do, uh, Miami didn't do anything in the off season. The heat, a lot of two jokes. It's good. It's a, it's a nice little healthy mix for, uh, for a love. I love it. Anyway, there you go. I met him too. Young love exists. And the grimace might be a new superhero origin movie. That's pair corner for week one. Good Lord. Uh, I guess that's it for the pod actually. Uh, thank you for, thank you for producing Kyle Creighton. As always, you can watch,

video from this podcast on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel. My camera works. You can see Sal on not only in Against All Odds, not only in Through the Ringer, Cousin Sal's winning weekend is back. I have Tony Romo on this week, Simmons.

Wow. We went for an hour. So I don't know how much we're going to use. And he thanked me afterwards for the reps. He's like, thanks, man. He's like, I needed that. It's getting his sea legs back. Anytime. I announced he's going to be on every week. So we'll see if, see if that happens. But let me just say, I know the podcast is over, but I do this new thing now on Cousin Sal's Winning Weekend. It's called the Cousin's Conundrum.

And I asked Ron Darling if he was locked in the broadcasting booth, who he would eat first, Keith Hernandez or Gary Cohen. I put Drew Brees on the spot, who he would throw in federal prison on that NFC championship game thing with the referees. I got Romo good. I want to ask you.

This is the Cousins conundrum. We just give everybody a taste. A new law comes out that no city can host more than two teams from the major sports leagues. Boston has given you the power, Simmons, to decide who stays and who moves to Des Moines. Which two leave? Celtics, Bruins, Patriots, Red Sox? Oh, wow. You cannot answer. I don't like the Bruins owners. That one's easy. I know that one's easy. I knew that was easy. Celtics have to stay for me. I know it. Yep.

This is the one.

I'd probably keep the Red Sox. It would be too weird not to have Fenway Park in the Red Sox. Really? The Pats gave us six Super Bowls. They play in Foxborough. I'll just bet on all the NFL teams. I'll be fine. The Des Moines Patriots. All right. Yeah. They almost moved a few times. All right. So you see, one of the reasons you're such an evil genius is because you root for teams outside of New York. There's no way for you to answer this question that makes you look bad. The Mets get to stay. Yeah. You have your own conundrum. That's fine.

Unbelievable. All right, cuz. As always, good job by you. Good job by you, buddy. Must be 21 plus and president in select states for Kansas and affiliation with Kansas Star Casino or 18 plus and president in DC. Gambling problem? Call 1-800-GAMBLER or visit rg-help.com. Call 1-888-789-7777 or visit ccpg.org slash chat and visit

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