A D.C. Hail Mary, the Coma Jets, Jameis Hero Ball, Freddie’s Slam, and Guess the Lines With Cousin Sal
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Coming up, we're going to talk Hail Marys, the Jets in a coma, Jameis Hero Ball, and a lot more, plus Guest of the Lines with Cousin Sal next. It's the Bill Simmons Podcast presented by FanDuel. Football is in full action. FanDuel's highest rated sportsbook is the best place to bet it all. We've been doing pretty well on million dollar picks this year. I love the first month of the season because you have to go into the season thinking, I

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We have a lot of NFL stuff to discuss. We're going to also talk about Yankees, Dodgers, and we're going to do parent corner and obviously guess the lines. It's all next. By the way, we did this live on YouTube, which we do every Sunday night. So you should subscribe to us on YouTube, Bill Simmons channel, and you can just watch us do the podcast if you want. Some people like it. Some people like seeing the faces. Well, you're listening, so you're not seeing our faces, but you will be hearing the dulcet sounds of Pearl Jam.

All right. It's the Bill Simmons podcast live on YouTube. Happy National Tight Ends Day, Sal. Oh, you know, I didn't even know until they tell me that it's National Tight Ends Day.

I mean, we just got to take it. You got to pay tribute to all these tight ends across America. High school, college, pro. Yeah, it's actually literally National Tight Ends Day today. You hate the national days. This was one of your rants a few weeks ago on Paracorner. I do. This has to be the worst one of all.

It is the worst. You know, it brings up, what do we do with Aaron Hernandez? Do we thank him? Do we wish his family a national tight end day? I don't know. I'm going to start here, Sal. Teams under 500 through eight weeks. Oh, good. Maybe he'll forget about the Cowboys that just lost. Yeah, okay. Keep going. Yeah. The Cowboys. Under 500. Oh. The Bengals, the LA Rams, the Jets, the Browns, the Colts, and the Jaguars.

All under 500, we are at eight weeks, which is almost a halfway point. I know we can't figure out the halfway point because it's 17 week season, but just a super weird season in a lot of different ways. But what's out of those teams, Dallas, Cincinnati Rams, jets, Browns, Colts, Jags, most surprising under 500 teams. I think I had like six out of seven make the playoffs. I have to pick one. Yeah.

Uh, my team, I have to say my team, I really thought we were going to have 11 wins this year. And now there's a path that leads into the ocean right now. I don't, and I was going to come on and be like, I don't care. We lost, you know, whatever. I was going to do that pouty seven-year-old thing. They sucked you in. They sucked you in with the comeback. They did. They sucked us in. They sucked me right back in. And I don't know what's going on with, I don't know our identity at all. I could not tell you. I don't think we can run the ball very good, but

You told me before the year running backs didn't matter. I might have been wrong about that. I might have misspoke. Yeah. Let's chalk that up to a bit. I was trying to be funny. Who's Dalvin cook this week. Who's next week is LaDainian Tomlinson. Is he still retired? I'd kill Christian. Yeah. Who else?

Anybody from the past? Priest Holmes? Yeah, yeah. Sean Alexander would be good. Oh, Sean Alexander would be fun. Yeah, yeah. Yeah, we were trying to figure out if Zeke plays for any other team. Like, if he would have been able to... Forget about start. Like, would he be a backup? But it's just a disaster. And I think Collinsworth hit it. We like to make fun of him. But, you know, Dak is not a threat to run. And when he's not a threat to run, you know, you could play him like any other quarterback. Yeah. It's not just...

you know, isolated to him. There's a lot of the quarterbacks like that. Once you know, you can take that part of the game out of there. You can kind of stifle them, but damn it. So you think that's the problem that Dak's not a threat to run? That's definitely one of them. He would take off three.

three or four times. We should have been at this one exactly opposite of what I thought. I thought we were going to come out guns a blazing after the bye because McCarthy actually has a good record after the bye. I thought we'd be ready. They would be pissed off. They have to show that Joe Montana thing at the start of every Cowboys 49ers game. Not that the players see it, but they should want to annihilate these guys. And it turned out to be

Both teams kind of sucked. And then the Niners grinded us out. Then it was just too little, too late. Yeah. It's like one of those teams is around one loser and the other one's not a playoff team. Right. That's part of the Niners. The biggest loser of the day was Dwayne Wade, who had the worst statue of all time. Did you see it? I did. What did you think it looked like?

I actually thought it looked like somebody who had emerged from a fire and lived. It was like Jim Carrey's fireman, whatever his fireman Ed sketch was.

Can you imagine having a statue look that bad of yourself? Yeah. Go like being unveiled. What would you even say? Uh, thanks. There's never been a worse sports statue ever. I mean, it got rightfully killed today. I don't even, it was like Goyal Mursad. Like who was it? It really looks like a freaky, like some kind of a Lord of the Lord of the Rings character or some shit. It's so funny. How many guesses would you have taken before you knew that was Dwayne Wade? 10.

You'd be like, hey, a famous athlete got a stature today. That would have taken me 700 guesses. I would have guessed Sam Cassell like 500 times first, and then I still would have been wrong. Well, so he's the most bummed out today. The second most bummed out is the Bears, who, what are we calling this? The Hail Maryland? What is this? Oh, that's, yeah. Yeah. I was trying to think of a name.

I don't know. What's that number 29 who's now famous for not being in the play until the last second? You know, he apologized on Twitter already, which I thought was a good move and is not going to take back the fact that his back was to the play. I've never seen anything like that. Did he think there was like five more minutes in the timeout? I'm going to do the podcast for the first seven minutes. Is that all right?

And then you tell me when you're doing guess the lines and I'll turn. Yeah. The funniest thing was he ran in and it looked like he got a hand on the, he was one of the many guys. I mean, there was five bears defending, uh,

probably a yard of the field. And none of them, we've had all of this, we've million Hail Marys on YouTube. All of this evidence of the most dangerous way this could go is if it gets tipped backwards and they have nobody in the end zone. It was like the kind of thing that happened when we were kids in like 1976. Like they would show in the beginning or like the Alcoa great finishes and we're like, oh man, can you believe they did that? It's 2024, it's impossible. Well, I think-

His guy was supposed to be Noah Brown. I don't know. Maybe people are taking it too far, but I think he was supposed to shadow Noah Brown all the way down the field. And then by the time he turns around, it's like, who the hell is Noah Brown? And he's like, all right, I'll just go to this ball. And then you're right. Yeah. The one thing is, I don't know how much teams practices. Do teams practice this on defense at all? At all.

Like on offense, I could see. And then I guess there has to be a defense, but it's a second team, right? Yeah, there should be three people who are just told stand on the goal line. Right. Don't budge. Just stay there. Don't let anyone go behind you. Our friend Kyle Brandt called it Noah's Ark.

Pretty good. You like that? Cause Noah, Noah caught it. Yep. Yep. Yep. I don't know. I, maybe there's no thing. It was certainly one of the best Hail Marys of all time. I still, what's your favorite Hail Mary other than you can't count the Pierce all, uh, that, that not Pearson and Staubach and Staubach. I

I can't do it. What's your favorite? Cause my favorite is still Flutie. The fact that he threw it that far, it was still, there hadn't been that many yet. Yeah. He overthrew basically everyone on the field. It was a famous game. I think it was a Friday. That was probably people like the Cordell store. One was a good one. I think the Flutie was Friday after Thanksgiving. Is that right? Was that a thing? And that was his roommate. Willem was his roommate. So that was kind of cool. I'll tell you what, I didn't think that, I don't,

I don't know that Jaden Daniels did the best job of getting that ball there. I kept yelling. I'm like, at some point he's got to step up in the pocket, right? You can't just hang out by the 30. I guess he did a good job creating enough time for all the receivers to get down there. But it was about three yards short.

And then it was just nonsense. I mean, I can't kill him because it worked, but it was just tipped back flukishly. Well, I think he forgot that he had broken ribs or whatever he has because it didn't... I think he can throw it further than that. Yeah. There was a great Billy White Shoes Johnson one where it got tipped and he caught it on like the three or four yard line and then he had to like make a couple guys miss and beat somebody. That was probably my other favorite one. But this one...

I mean, when you talk about, usually this happens with like shitty teams. This was a really important game. It's a potentially devastating loss for the bears because the bears are four and three now, but they're in that gauntlet of a division. It's going to take 10 wins to get the NFC anyway. And then you think about it for Washington where, you know, they're six and two, they have the giants left, the saints, Tennessee, they play your team twice.

There's basically like Daniels would really have to get hurt for like two months, I think for them not to be a 10 win team. But the thing that I was shocked by was how good their defense was.

They harassed Chicago for three and a half quarters. Swift finally broke like a 55-yard touchdown. And then Caleb got a little momentum, but they got a goal line stop on the fumble. And it just felt like their defense ran out of gas. But I continue to be impressed by Washington. We needed Chicago to win because we have that first-to-four bet.

right? We have, um, Oh, the, the exact order of Fando. Yes. That was one of our big bets. NFC North. We have Detroit, Green Bay, Chicago, Minnesota. And we kind of would have been right there if they had won. We were congratulating each other where there was like 20 seconds left, but always a mistake in retrospect. Yes. And Washington, uh, is in my team's division. And yet I thought,

That's crappy if Washington doesn't win this game. I feel like the right team won the game ultimately, but I also feel like, and remember, they flexed this game. A little suspicious. You think that's a little suspicious? They flexed it again. They flexed it to late afternoon. It felt like a week 18 game that the winner got the seventh seed.

Oh, like an NBC game, yeah. Yeah, but nobody wanted the seventh seed. It was just that much. Washington was better. They had 140 more yards of offense. They had like six minutes more possession, but they couldn't put it away, and then they did. Yeah, because I was going to ask you, better win or worse loss? But I agree with you. I think the right team won the game. Like Washington should have put the game away. I'm not really positively sure why they didn't.

And then it ended up working out for them anyway. But I thought they were the better team. And for the Bears, like, you know, awful loss. You let it get away. But it really would have been them stealing that game, it felt like. Yeah. That's a terrible way to end and everything. But, you know, you give it to the 609-pound lineman to score from the two-yard line. That was bad, too. So you could point to a few things. They were 2-12 on third down. Yeah. But, I mean...

Two huge brain farts. Giving it to the lineman, that was stupid. I exaggerate. He might not be that heavy. If he's not that heavy, please don't worry. Your apologies. Yeah. And then the Hail Mary defense. I just don't think there's any excuse to ever give that up. And I know they have to practice that at some point. But, you know, there was that...

What was the one when Jacoby Myers threw it backwards? That's probably the dumbest thing any team's done this decade. When the Pats lost that game against the Raiders. Against the Raiders. It was a tie game. It was about to go into OT and they're somehow throwing it back. But anyway. Well, here's the thing. They'll let any receiver be in front of them, right? You're making a wall, right? So if you're going to let everybody be in front of them,

You'd be dumb to let anybody behind you, right? Especially left unattended. And that's exactly what happened. I don't think they practice it. I really don't. Yeah, you're almost better off having all 11 guys in the end zone in like three levels and just doing it that way. We went this long. I didn't mean to save this for later. Where the Washington fans were with the Dan Snyder era, really from...

I don't know, since they won the Super Bowl and it's been pretty rocky and we've talked about it a lot on this podcast and Washington fans like Dave Chang, Nathan Hubbard, House, obviously have talked about it a bunch. This was an unbelievable Washington football moment. I mean, this was like...

you know, this has been such a feel good season for them in so many different ways with the number one reason being we don't have Dan Snyder anymore. This reviled owner. Then they get this quarterback who's amazing. He's hurt. He might not play all week. He plays. We end up with this Hail Mary signature moment. And you think like, this is the kind of shit that happens to teams that might have a special season. I don't, I don't think they're going to win the Superbowl, but it's the kind of thing that happens when you're like, Oh man, that the,

Washington's in round two and I'm not actually surprised because this happened and this happened and this happened. But I would say this is probably the most grateful fan base out of the 32, right? Well, for sure. Yeah, yeah. Just the turnaround. But our friend David Chang did text us when it happened and he either said, I want to find it. Did he say it was one of the top 10 happiest moments

He's ever been happiest time. He said it was ever had. He said the sports moment. No, he said it was the top 10 greatest moment of his life. Yeah. All right. So 10 greatest moments of his life. He's had two kids. So there's three. Two children. So there's three.

I don't know. I don't know what the other seminar. He's had some luck at the craps table. I was going to say there has to be a craps run. It has to be one of the six. When Washington broke the Ravens preseason win streak of like 15 games, he was pretty happy then. I don't know. Maybe trying Bianco's garden pizza, whatever that summer garden pizza. That's probably number five. Right.

Oh, Lynn Sanity is definitely up there. I know for a fact that Lynn Sanity has got to be in the top 10 for him. Oh, really? He loves that. Anyway, congrats to Chang. Congrats to all the Walsh fans. And while we're congratulating people, and not in the baby doll Dixon way, actual congratulations. Congratulations to the Browns fans. They're begging for a new quarterback for two months. And then, you know, Watson gets hurt.

Jameis comes in, who you've been calling for Jameis I think every week since maybe week two. And he comes in, he throws for 334, three TDs, has a game-winning drive with 236 left, down one, and they end up scoring a TD. Has the classic, just awful Jameis pass. Just an absolute train wreck of a pass that the guy drops as part of the fourth quarter comeback, Kyle Hamilton. And then they win it, and now the Browns, who are...

We had crossed them off last week and maybe they're not a cross off. I don't even have to think anymore. We said we have to keep them crossed. We agreed. We agreed.

We agreed. But I think you're right. And since you mentioned Babydoll, I think the fans are happy, but they're also probably like, what the fuck? We've all known that this team is better without Deshaun Watson. It's like a guy who comes back. He's like, I quit smoking. I can breathe again. Babydoll, we told you years ago this would happen. Why didn't you stop smoking? Throw out the Marlboro Reds in 2006. It would have been so much better. But

It's all about cutting bait, like just knowing when and everyone's so stubborn about when it's done. Well, the owner clearly, when we discussed it many weeks ago, I was thinking it's like both you and I have been married for a while. It's like when you're arguing with your wife about something, you know, she's like, my neck hurts. I think it's the pillow. You should get a new pillow. And then they don't. And like three weeks passed. Did you get a new pillow yet? No, no, I'm going to get one. My neck hurts. It's like, you should get a new pillow.

And then eight weeks later, they get the new pillow and they're like, oh my God, this pillow is so much better. My neck doesn't hurt anymore. And you're just like, I fucking told you eight weeks ago to get a new pillow. Right. That's good. That's basically Jameis Winston. It's like, I fucking told you, get a new quarterback. But from a financial perspective, let's say you had some interest financially, which the Browns do. They really want this to work out because they mortgage their future, everybody's future in the whole town, whatever. I might...

compared to like buying a house, right? And then the house has ghosts and you're like, all right, I got to put up with these ghosts. I don't want to lose money. We made friends with the ghosts. No, that's a bad example. You got to make friends. No. And then you're just terrorized by this ghost for months, you and your family before you're like, all right, forget it. I'll take the $50,000 loss. Or you befriend the ghosts. So that's the good version of the story, I think. Okay. Yeah, it's fine. Cleveland was eight for 15 on third down.

I think they had probably 15 first downs in the first five weeks of the season. All right, that's fine. We can't cross them off, but we got to talk Baltimore. So their defense has allowed 21 passes of 25 plus yards eight weeks into the season. It's their eighth loss in the last two minutes where they had a lead since 2022. And what was interesting about this one was even with Jameis Winston,

I felt like the Browns were going to at least get a field goal and win the game. Didn't you? When they got the ball back up down one with like two and a half minutes left, I was like, oh, they're going down. Like I wasn't afraid. I know the Ravens have had some injuries, a couple, two of their starting cornerbacks didn't play today, but I, I just said no doubt unless Winston threw a terrible pass, which he did and they dropped, but I, I would have been surprised that Baltimore stopped them. But listen, he threw three bad passes. He didn't throw 15.

Which is what Watson did all the time. And you're right. And back to the Ravens, what did we say? They had given up 84 fourth quarter points in seven weeks. So now it's 93 in eight weeks. Yeah.

That's too many, Bill. That's way too many. Too many? Yeah, I think it's too many. They may have enough offensive weapons to keep up and win 10 or 11 games like that, but that's going to kill them in January. Absolutely. Well, it turns out Jameis Winston is better at quarterback than Deshaun Watson. That's one of our big lessons. Cross-off teams. So we're keeping Cleveland, I guess. Pats, Carolina, Jacksonville, Tennessee.

Miami and the Jets, Giants, and we're adding New Orleans this week. So somehow we're at 10 cross-off teams in eight weeks, which I think is aggressive. But I don't think any of those teams make the playoffs. No, it's fine. But if we did it the other way, I don't know if we would be able to pick. Be able to come up with 10 teams. Right. Yeah, I don't think we could. But that's good. Yeah, I think you're right. I mean, the Saints, some of these teams are unbearable to watch. All right. We're taking a break for the podcast.

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We're talking about the Jets. Are the Jets dead? They're two and six. Is this it? We're done. Are we done with the Jets? They would have to go eight and one. Yeah. Unless you think nine and eight can make it in the AFC, which is possible. But even that seven and two, Rogers is seven and 14 in his last 21 start to finish starts. Right. I don't see it. I think they're done.

Oh, I think they're done too. And I don't know why we're comparing them to, I don't even know why Aaron Rodgers is a factor. You got to take a look at this offense and going into today, they had scored two points more than last year's Jets with

with Zach Wilson. So at two and six, we would have crossed Zach Wilson off, right? We would have said that's it. And that's why I love, love, loved your team today. Plus seven. Now they almost blew it. You had another wisest wager that you're six and two in the, in the ring Sunday pregame. Congratulations. Thank you for knowing, but I really did like them. I mean, there had to be a little bit of a revenge thing. You have to play with some kind of pride. I think you may have had the bet. Now it all flipped on the drip. Once soon as Drake may got hurt, they're like, Oh, this sucks with Brissette. But,

But it's still the Jets. This is still a dysfunctional team. And I know they probably, they might have been like five and three if that field goal kicker, Greg DeLay, does his job. He's cost them three games. Right. He cost them four points today. Yeah.

The PAT was massive. It completely changed the game. Right. Did you think in a million years he was making the 44-yarder? Like in a million years? No. No. There's no way that was going through. It's weird, though, because guys are nailing 57-yarders to the middle of the net.

Like, so why is Greg DeLegge not good? But also that he's still their kicker. I mean, I thought he was going to be done last week. We were, we assumed he was going to be the fall guy last week and he wasn't. I think they just look like assholes. If they fire like two components in a week, they have to spread out. They don't look like assholes. No, no, they're good. They've saved a lot of face.

Well, Brissette came in and he threw for 132, 16 for 24. It was the best he's played all season. I think they would have won that game with May. I mean, the Jets defense was impotent. They had one sack. They weren't doing anything. And, you know, their offense wasn't any great shakes either. But this was a disgraceful loss because the Pats aren't good.

The Pats were somehow kind of pressuring Rodgers. You got to give it up to Mayo. He took a ton of shit all week from everybody, including me, and he deserved it. And calling the team soft, all that stuff. That team rose to the occasion. They, in the fourth quarter, really fought for the game. You got to hand it to them. The receivers, they must have had seven. I don't know how closely you watched it, but they must have had...

I would say seven killer, seven killer drops. Like first series, May, perfect pass down deep. I think Boutte dropped it. Um, but the, uh,

the receivers were murdering them and they still won. They were seven for 15 on third down with a bunch of drops. Perfect. Like, right. Seven for 15. You'll, you'll kill for that, right? The jets were four for 10 and, uh, you know, total. I mean, I could read you. I mean, there is a stat that's spectacular and it's funny. And the jet scored 20 plus points, committed zero turnovers and held their opponent to under 250 yards offense from 1940 until today. Teams were 756 and oh, when they hit those three metrics. Oh,

Unbelievable. Well, I had the Jets and the over and a tease, which was 35 and a half. And I didn't think they're... It's fine. It was the Pats won, which is... It was fun to beat the Jets and make Rodgers upset. But I still think it was a good bet. I don't quite understand how the Jets didn't win. But when you watched it,

They just seem so poorly coached and so discombobulated. Like first half, they were calling timeouts over and over again, just with the ball. Like, cause they didn't communicate whatever the play was in time. They had delay of games and bad spots. And they just, they just do not look like a well-coached crisp team at all.

So whatever they thought they were going to accomplish firing solid, it didn't work. It wasn't a good bet though. I hate to say it. Cause you could, here's the thing. You can go back and if it's in red, if everything's in red, you'll see it's not a good bet. If it's in green, that means you won. Christmas element to it. I don't, I don't regret the bet. Like even like the Pat score, the jet score, they go ahead. Yeah. Set's got to go all the way down the field.

Right. He's got to go 70 yards with less than three minutes left. The guy can't run and he can't throw deep. And he just somehow easily did it. Made plays like the Jets. I don't know what they were doing. So Mike Greenberg, because this is what everyone has to do at ESPN now is just completely overreact and do the hyperbole things and hope they can get cut in a vote into a Internet thing.

He did this tweet that ended the jets of 2024 are one of the truly colossal failures of recent sports memory. And it only gets worse from here. The jets over under was nine and a half wins. Yes. Nobody even wanted to pick them to win the AFC East. It was like, ah, can we take Buffalo's got 60 plus million in dead calf space. I can't name two of their receivers. They have injuries on the defense. I had Miami. Yeah.

Like anyone who picked the jets were, were, he didn't feel good about it. We did in our over under pod. I don't think this is a truly colossal failure that none of this stuff made sense as they were doing it. Like I didn't understand the Devante Adams trade two weeks ago when they made it wasn't a problem. Their problem is defense. You'd have to say, cause you read in the beginning of the podcast, you read seven teams that are under 500. There were a couple of those teams that were over under was nine and a half. Right.

yeah i wouldn't say the cowboys are a colossal one of the most colossal collapses in sports history right now right would you i mean it's bad it sucks they should be better to be a failure is like if the lions were two and six right then i'll be like holy shit this team has so much talent how are like they were almost made the super bowl last year how are they two and six yeah right same this is the jets is like

All of this is conceivable. Anyone who rooted for the Jets knew that this was lurking in there. I picked them to win the division because I didn't want to pick Buffalo. I didn't feel awesome about it, but it seemed like conceivable.

Yeah, but somebody like JJ was like, I'm never taking Salah. Remember, JJ was like, I'm out in the Jets. I'm shorting them. Salah's a terrible coach. I think a lot of people thought this might happen. We knew Salah wasn't effective. We didn't know that Aaron Rodgers, we had no idea what form of Aaron Rodgers we were going to get. Right, was he going to be able to move? Yes, right. We did know Hassan Reddick was going to show up. That wasn't looking good. So at what point did you like,

did this become so high? I mean, you got to add the New York element to it. A New York over nine and a half is like a 12th, basically. Right. So that's it. I mean, you could say it's definitely, there's some organizational failures to it. Like the fact that they didn't get rid of Salah in February, right? The fact that they thought Devante Adams was going to be the fix, like make the offense better when their offensive line isn't even that good. And Roger seems pretty banged up. But I just think,

This was probably somewhere between an eight to a 10 win team. And they've underachieved from that. The kicker cost them three games.

But I'm not shocked by this. No, it's not the most of anything. I know Jets fans who are like, I'm dreading this season. I think we're fucked. I think Rodgers is going to suck. They went through this with Brett Favre in 2010. Remember? Was it 2010? 2009? One of those years. I think it's just assumed in New York that if you have a Super Bowl winning quarterback on your team, he's definitely, no matter how many decades removed, he's definitely going to have to do the same. You know what I realized?

I think Brady and now LeBron too, because I don't know if you saw LeBron on Saturday night, but I was actually home because I went to the Dodgers game. I came home and I watched the second half of the Lakers. LeBron was absolutely incredible. They were down seven to start the fourth quarter and he scored like 16 points in like five minutes. I think he ended up with like 16 points, six assists, five rebounds. He was amazing. He single-handedly swung the game. They're three and oh, but I think him and Brady, uh,

have completely ruined our ability to properly assess old athletes. It's like Rodgers is 40 and torn Achilles. The odds of this going well were probably 50-50. But just because Brady and LeBron are so incredible, it seems now conceivable that anybody can just keep going. And the history says they can't.

You're not wrong. And I almost think the 40 plus athletes need to help themselves by announcing, hey, I'm not going to be a Brady or LeBron like Joe Flacco. She'd be like, I'm going to have some nice moments and maybe I could take this team to the playoffs. But don't expect, you know, me tossing the Lombardi in the Tampa Bay Bay, whatever that's called. Any time soon. Right. Right. Yeah. They could help themselves. Anyway, here's a game.

You've seen eight weeks of the NFL season, except for the Monday night game. How many QBs would you take before Aaron Rodgers right now? And this is a really interesting exercise. I'm just going to list guys and you tell me when I stop. Okay. I'm taking them to every person I list. Unless you tell me stop, that's somebody who would take over Rodgers. For this year. Yes. Lamar, Mahomes, Burrow, Josh Allen. Stop. No, go ahead. Keep going. Yeah.

Jaden Daniels, CJ Stroud. There's six. Brock Purdy, Justin Herbert, Jalen Hurts, Dak Prescott, Jared Goff, Jordan Love. Now we're at 12. Matthew Stafford, Baker Mayfield, 14. Yep. Kirk Cousins. Yeah. 15. All right. Now it's going to get fun. Kyler Murray, Trevor Lawrence. Yeah. I don't know.

I don't know. All right. That's your first. I don't know. You might be Caleb Williams. Yeah. All right. Sam Darnold. Right there. Same. I mean, some of these have to be the same, right? And Drake may. Yeah. So I had the same. So I had cousins was the 15th. Kyler was the 16th and we both would have rather of Kyler and the Rogers. That's 16. So now he's in the bottom half of starting quarterbacks and it's him, Lawrence, Caleb, Darnold to a Drake may, whatever that group is. So he's in,

No doubt about it. You don't even have to do all that. They have something called stats and QB ratings. Yeah, but I think people still feel like he's a top 10 QB and he's just not. There's no scenario where he's a top 10 QB anymore. He's banged up too. Like I'm not going to make an, certainly not going to make an injury excuse for him, but he just doesn't look like

I feel like he's constantly thinking, oh, wow, there's nine more weeks. And that's if we don't make the playoffs. And then there's more, right? Doesn't he have that look to him? Like, I can't, I can't, I'm not going to make it to the finish line. He looks like a, yeah, like he's like a marathoner on mile 16, but he's got like a pulled hamstring. It's the 5G. It's gotta, it's gotta be the 5G. But yeah. Yeah.

He's done another magical thing. He has gotten our cousin Jimmy back invested in football again. Right. He knows what happens on Sunday afternoons. You couldn't have said that since 2005. So congratulations to Aaron. All right. A couple more questions.

Did the Falcons win the NFC South today? Yeah. And maybe the NFC East too. I don't know. Yeah. They beat the four and four bucks. They beat them twice. So the bucks would have to be a game higher than them. They're five and three, the Falcons. They had the giants left in New Orleans, Carolina, Las Vegas, and Denver. And I don't really, even if cousins got hurt, I mean, they took Pennix eight. He's what? 23 years old. He could probably come in and hold the fort and, and,

I just feel like that, like this is a wrap now. Plus Tampa, you,

You felt the Evans-Godwin thing today. Even though Mayfield was good, he had a lot of completions, he was able to move the ball, they had more total yards, but guess what? Really nice to have those guys. - I'm mad at us, meaning me and you. We had a plan, it wasn't even a concept of a plan, it was an actual plan that we're gonna wait three weeks and then take the Falcons and it would've been about even odds or something. And even before this week, it was minus 210, and now they're minus 370 in the South.

And they swept Tampa, who's the only team that's going to compete with them in that division. I don't need to see Derek Carr's comeback. It's fine. How many touchdown passes for Kirk Cousins last four weeks? Does he have 11? 10. Does he have 10? Yeah. Now imagine they have no pass rush and Tampa was able to hang around in this game partly because Atlanta can't do anything. Imagine if they had somehow...

Danny, not Danny, Shilkpati and I talked about this on Thursday. Imagine if they had taken one more defensive guy at number eight instead of Penix. Yeah. Would have helped. Tampa had 432 yards today and they lost. One other thing that happened in this game. Is Kyle Pitts... Is he alive? Is it official? Is he...

Did our five-year odyssey, are we at the finish line and we can now put him in a fantasy lineup and feel okay about it? The tight ends. I'm glad you brought this up, Bill, because it does happen to be national tight ends. It is. Congratulations again to the tight ends. But maybe this is something with tight ends where, I'm trying to think because Kyle Pitts, Mark Andrews,

Probably on a lot of waiver wires, you know, three weeks ago. Goddard. Goddard was another one. Goddard. Yeah. Now, like Mark Andrews is a top tight end in the league or right up there. It's very strange with them. And I wonder if the too deep and everything else is affecting it. But yeah, four for 91 yards and two touchdowns. You can't sit them in fantasy now. No. No, there's a lot of pretty good tight ends that are all around the same. And I don't, you know, there's...

No rhyme or reason to starting whoever. Here's another question. I think the Bulls, the Bills have locked up the AFC East even more than anybody. I told you. Four wins ahead of everyone else in the division right now. Yeah, it was one of yours. It's us. We all have it. We have the AFC figured out. We have Chiefs, Ravens, Texans, Bills on a parlay that basically pays even odds, right? Yeah, that's going to win. I'm not shook by any of it, even the Ravens. I know their defense is bad, but...

Most up in the air division for you, would you go NFC West or AFC North? AFC North has Baltimore versus Pittsburgh. NFC West has three teams now with four losses, the Seahawks, Rams, and Niners. And they're all playing each other in the future. The Niners seem like a guy gets injured every week now. It's just part of watching a Niners game. Somebody's going to limp off.

But I personally would say NFC West, but what would you say? Yeah, I'd say NFC West. Now maybe more stupid to look at 49ers minus one 30 and say, Oh, McCaffrey is going to come back soon. Why aren't we just jumping on this? Another team was one 30. That was the Falcons. We let it go. But yeah,

The Seahawks are last in terms of odds. Like they were right then two weeks ago. And we're like, oh man, this is, they're going to, they're winning by default, but yeah, you can get them at five to one and then the Cardinals can play with anybody. We had, when we did our futures draft, one of the bets I liked was three NFC West playoff teams. And I can't remember. It was like the odds were really good on it. And I just thought, I didn't know who it was going to be.

And I'm still not totally sure who it's going to be, but something weird is going on with Arizona. They had no business whatsoever beating the Chargers on Monday night. I still don't know how it happened. It was the classic touchdown fumbled through the end zone where you're like, ah, the other team's winning now. It's just, it's a lock. And then today...

It was almost a take the game off the TV. Miami has this game. And then Arizona kind of hung around, hung around. All of a sudden they're stealing the game with Chad Ryland making the winning kick. The dude who literally got the Pat's Drake May last year because he was such a bad kicker. So now the cards are somehow four and four and have gotten their ass kicked a couple of times.

I don't really get it. They're not bad. And you look at that box score, everything's pretty even, right? Like Tua came out strong, but I think there was a little bit of a nobody believes in us. Nobody believes in our travel plans. They played Monday night and then they have to go cross country, you know, play the Sunday 1 p.m. game. And then they just stuck around, stuck around. I got the running quarterback who moves the ball and they were right there against the Dolphins who...

I don't know. Again, that's there. You can't circle any team on their schedule for a win. No. I thought, I thought their plan with Tua was, you know, everyone was so worried about him playing this week. It was just like, you have to throw the ball in two seconds or less. Yeah. Just make a decision quick. If it's not there, just sail it. Like don't keep it. Don't hold it. Yeah. The NFC West. I have no idea who's, what are the odds in that division? We should probably do this.

So Niners are minus 130, Cards plus 420, Rams plus 490, and Seahawks 5-1. What do you think is the best bet out of those four? I hate to say it, but that team we saw tonight, that was, what was that, like a 5 or a 6 for the 49ers? Yeah, but I'm still subscribing a year from hell for them. Really? Can I offer you the Rams? Well, that was my preseason pick.

Just the plus 490. Now they have everybody back. They're at Seattle in week nine. And if they can win that one, they'd be four and four. But they played Miami. They played the Pats. They played New Orleans. They played the Jets. Their last two games are Arizona, Seattle, or home. I could see them getting the 10 wins. And the cup thing, I never believed. People are reporting that. The trade? I never believed that. I thought that was like...

a classic, I need something for my report on TV today. I don't know who reported for, I just don't believe it. I don't know why they would have traded him. He's got a good contract, you know, like you don't trade him unless you're like one and eight and your season's over. Their season wasn't over. They had him coming back in Puka. Why would they, why would they be shopping? It was stupid. Their defense isn't great, but, um,

But their offense is really good. I mean, Puka was supposed to be limited all over the damn place. He's awesome. And Kyron Williams just scores every game. He's in the end zone every single game. It's Derrick Henry without the 160 yards. Yeah, I'm not saying the Rams are going to win the division. I just like those odds the most, the plus 490. The cards, to me, seem like smoke and mirrors.

Seattle has really gotten their ass kicked a couple times, which I think is a bad sign for them. It doesn't seem like they can play two good games in a row. And Metcalf. The Metcalf injury hurt them too. Last question. Is Anthony Richardson going to still be starting in a month? Can I give you some stats? Go ahead. First half today, 2-15. Right. For the game, 10-32.

threw a pick at the end of the first half, which was one of the five worst passes of the year. And he also has one of the other five. 44.4 completion percentage for the year. So nine passes, five of the nine, every nine he throws are incomplete. And they're not just incomplete. I would say I was with somebody that I was saying it was like

I probably have made this joke before, but watch when you watch, like you have a little, little boy, like a six year old and they're trying to piss in a urinal and it's just going everywhere. That's what, that's what his passes look like. He has no idea where they're going, but it also seems like at any time he could throw a 70 yarder and hit somebody in stride. But the next one will be like, Oh, bounce one. He's just, he's no idea where the ball's going.

Well, that's the thing. I like looking at the halftime, the 1 p.m. Eastern games. I like looking at the halftime stats for quarterback because there's always a few that are in the 30, 40, 50 yards. And he had like 68 yards. I'm like, oh, he's okay then. I'm like, wait, let me gaze. Let me just move my head to the left and see completion attempts. And he was, what did you say, two for 15? Two for 15. And they're all bad throws. I like him. Nice guy. And then he took himself out because he was tired. It's a tiring game. It is.

Tough one. I think I personally thought they should have benched him at halftime for Flacco. Cause I thought that was a winnable game. Houston really struggles. I mean, they've been pulling out these games. They lost digs today. So now they don't have digs or Collins next week. It's basically tank Dale or bust. It feels like they can't really protect Stroud and they're kind of hanging around and just kind of outwitting these teams down the stretch. But when you watch them, um,

It feels pretty flimsy. And I like them. I said last week to you, I thought the Texans and the Packers, I wanted to see what they would look like in December when they have everybody back. They feel really gettable week to week now. I really thought Stroud was like under siege. It was against the Colts. Yeah, that wasn't great. Yeah, the Colts play them tough though. They, for some reason, are always in there with them. But, you know, if all they have to do, I know that's not all they have to do, but they're minus 850 to win the division. They're going to take care of business there. Yeah.

Uh, the, and Jordan love heard his groin. So when we talk about the Detroit game, that's a thing that happened, uh, in the Packers game. So that was another, uh, I mean, he's won three games and Malik Willis has won three games, right? Jaguars lost again. They lost Christian Kirk. Yeah. T Higgins decided, uh, on Friday to hurt his quad after I did million dollar picks. Thanks. Thanks T. Um,

And I ended up having to try to hedge the Bengals bet that I already had because I thought they were going to throw on them all game. They got killed by the Eagles. I almost want to cross them off. I know we can't, but that is...

Well, we do this every year. There's a three and five, two and six, three and six team that turns it around second half. And we won't have next week at the top of the pod. We'll try to figure out who that team is because it happens every year. We know it's going to happen. And they're a candidate. We'll be over the hump, the nine games for most first time. So, yeah, it will have to be somebody that's two and seven or three and six or three and five, like one of those records. That's fine.

But the Eagles, sure, they look good. They made some plays. But I also think if you're playing the Bengals with Chase and that's it. There's also some awful Zach Taylor play calling. I can't say he's been awesome this year. Some weird fourth down stuff. The Chiefs beat the Raiders but didn't cover. Right. The Lions killed the Titans. And then the Broncos beat the Panthers by 14, covered 14.

covered the four teams, 13 point tees that I called in on the ringers Sunday pregame Browns. I didn't make fun of it. Plus 20 over down to 31 chiefs. And then I've, and then the Broncos covered easily. It didn't sweat it. The chiefs were the closest, I guess. Yeah. They were by 14 the whole game. Yeah. Yeah. So the Panthers are 51 and one 40 the last four weeks. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't even know why we didn't bet them for worst record. Your south bet is just looking golden. I was laughing at you. I'm like, these teams play each other. They're going to have 20 wins just playing, you know, whatever, just with a few more. They can't, they're never going to get to 30. What is it, 30 and a half is the number? Yeah, 30 and a half. They got 12 in eight weeks, so they'd have to get 19 in the last nine weeks to beat me, like over two a week. Let's take a break for the podcast.

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So we did a futures draft before the season. Mm-hmm.

And my number one bet was NFC South under 30 wins plus 155. You took that Detroit, Green Bay, Chicago, Minnesota exact bet plus 600 and Caleb over 18.5 interceptions with your first two. Is Caleb going to get that? Oh, where is he? Oh man, he was really on track. You might be sweating that one out. Let me see. Some ones that we hit though during this,

Mahomes, Stratton, Lawrence, 4K yards was plus 403. I think that's going to hit unless somebody gets hurt. Houston, AFC South, plus 100. I had that. It's going to hit. You had Cousins come back player of the year, plus 430. Is he the favorite now? Who else was he? He's got to be. Well, it was Rodgers and Cousins were up there. Oh, you've got that. Yeah.

Walker for the NFC West rushing leader. All the Niners guys got hurt. Yeah, he takes himself out a lot. It's him or James Conner? Yeah, he gets his back hurt. Kyle Williams is good too. I had Detroit for the one seed plus 480. That's looking good. This one hurts. Hutchinson, Moe Sacks, 11-1. And he was cruising. He got hurt. Well on his way. You had Tyreek, 13 TDs plus 360. That's not happening.

But you had Lamb most receiving yards in the NFC East, plus 115. I think that will happen. Because A.J. Brown got hurt. He's like almost 200 today. Yeah, if neighbor stays hurt, yeah, it could be all right. I lost on Pats being last on this team. I have the Seahawks over 8.5 with the Pats under 4.5, 3-1.

You had Pat's worst record, Lions' best record, 36-1. That's still in play. No. You need one more Panthers win probably. No, the Panthers, you're so good with that south bet because the Panthers are going to win two more games. Right. What are you at, 14 then? Yeah, you're set.

You had Atlanta, KC, Jacksonville, and Houston all to make the playoffs minus 160. That's not going to win. And then we can keep going. But those were our favorites. One of the ones was NFC East, more wins than the NFC South, minus 175. Good. And we love that one. So the NFC West, three playoff teams. That was plus 550.

You had Daniels offensive rookie of the year, six to one. I know that. That was a good one. But we hit, we hit a lot of these Seahawks playoffs plus one 68. I think that's in there. Uh, Harbar coach of the year, et cetera, et cetera. What are we going to do with the money? With all the money, with all the fake money, we didn't actually win. I just, all I want is for us not to look terrible when we do these futures. I know.

Like we have that, I have that NBA super boost. OKC 55 plus wins, Cleveland 45 plus, Phoenix 45 plus. I'm feeling great about that. And they boosted that to like plus 280, something like that. We got to hit the boost. We got to, we got to treat our people right. They hang on every word we say. We're looking out for the people. Hey, today's guest Alliance is brought to you by Workday. Get the whole band together with Workday and pair finance and HR on one platform.

for an epic performance. With Workday AI at the core, you'll make confident decisions faster than ever and certainly faster than Bryce Young today. And you'll drive flawless business and finance operations with an agile platform that constantly evolves to future-proof your organization. Be a finance and HR rockstar with Workday. Visit Workday.com to learn more. Guess the lines. Week nine. Before we do guess the lines, here's the playoff picture. Six win teams, Detroit, Green Bay, Washington.

Philly's five and two Atlanta's five and three but then Chicago's four and three Seattle Tampa Arizona San Francisco all four and four so the NFC is like we're not going to know what happens for two more months no AFC KC seven and oh Buffalo and Houston six and two Pittsburgh's five and two Baltimore's five and three that's five teams then you have the Chargers in Denver Denver's five and three the Chargers are four and three Indy's four and four there's going to be an awful AFC playoff team

Yeah. I think it's official. Yeah. We're going to be like, we might be able to bet against Bo Nix in a playoff game. Denver is, um, well, that's kind of how I felt about Chicago and Washington and fans of both cities will be mad, but I was like, look at my chops. I felt like, oh man, who would, who was salivating more me knowing I could bet one of these teams in the playoffs. Well, the two seed that is actually going to play this team in the playoffs. But

Yeah, Denver. Denver doesn't seem ready to me just yet. I know they beat up on the Panthers. It gets a little rough for them coming up, but their overall run was five and a half. They're at five already. That could be Buffalo hosting Denver as 10 and a half point favorites, right? Yeah, that'd be a fun one. MVP, Josh Allen is the favorite on Fando at plus 320. Lamar is plus 350. Mahomes is plus 450.

Goff is 7-1 and Daniels is 9-1. And I don't think anyone else is really in the mix at this point. I still like Goff here. I'm still going Goff.

I know they, I mean, they scored a billion points and he didn't contribute accordingly. Like a guy would score that many points, but his numbers, what did he do? He has in the last four games, he has 13 incompletions and they have 23 touchdowns. Like you show that stat to the Panthers coach. And he's like, what, what league is that? Right. I get in that league. That's ridiculous numbers. Yeah.

He's like, can I get in any league? Yeah. Dave Canales, who fake punted from, did you see that one today? I did, yeah, yeah, yeah. The desperation fake punt on a bad team that goes terribly is the announcer never knows what to do.

Right. That's like, oh boy. Just when you thought it couldn't get worse for the Panthers. It's like one of those. They're just like so bummed out. The announcers of the Panthers Broncos games might not know what to do anyway. But just because they're putting that slot. Yeah, there was some Antonio Pierce. It's Chris Myers. Let's just call it. Let's just say who it is. It actually wasn't. It was down. Chris Myers says, I'm right here. Hey.

But yeah, but Pierce not kicking that field goal on fourth. I don't know if you want to talk about real quick, but they're against the, the chiefs. I think he could have cut it to four. And then, I mean, they had first and goal at the one. It was like fourth and goal from the three. Like what, what do you need to see? Your team's going backwards. Bring the field goal. Now's when you bring the field goal kicker out. Pierce's field goal decisions this year have been one of the secret joys of YouTube TV's multi-view. Yeah.

It's either Jada Davis is Hail Mary or Pierce kicking the field goal to cut it from eight to five last week. Right. That were my two favorite moments of the year. I was, that was the best. And it's still a one touchdown game. I have to say, I think Alan at plus three 20, even though he's the favorite is probably the one I would bet if I had to bet any of those. Yeah. Cause if they're a one or a two seed, he's going to be the reason, right? There's no other reason.

He's excellent, and I feel like they have eight pass catchers now. And he finally threw an interception. He had nine games in a row without a pick. Still cool. Guess the lines. Week nine. Somehow the Jets are playing on Thursday night. I feel like this team has been on national TV. The only bigger nightmare than being a Jets fan is being everyone else who likes watching night games on television because we have to fucking watch this team again.

Yeah. They didn't, the schedule makers got like bored or something. They put the Jets, the Steelers and the Giants and some kind of like bingo hopper. And they just kind of like, all right, well, just you play Thursday and you play here and then you'll play each other six times and we'll have you against the Texans on Halloween. Well, this is in New York or I guess in New Jersey, which I don't know if that helps the Jets. I think people will be surly. I think alcohol will be served and consumed.

and I don't think it's going to be a happy sporting event to go to. The good news for the Jets is that the Texans are down to one receiver. Now, from what I saw today, I think they could probably run the ball with the ball in them, but I have the Texans as favorites. I have the Texans favored by one and a half at the New York Jets. All right, here's what infuriates me.

The Texans are a lot better than the Jets. And I'm not just saying because one team's 6-2 and the other's 2-6. So I also had the Texans favored, but by three. And I thought it was a little light. The Jets are favored by one and a half. Oh, wow. The Jets are favored by one and a half. What do you need to see out of the Jets anymore? Well, what you saw today was a team that... Yeah, they seem like they wanted the season end, except for a couple guys. The...

Can they play a capable quarterback and survive? I don't like this line. This makes me want to skip the week because I'm not going to do well the rest of the games if I can't hit this. Where do you think this line ends? Well, maybe it'll flip. We've seen one and a half slip the other way. But, oh no, Texans are favored by one. Texans...

Jets are favored by one. Oh, I'm sorry. It did flip already. I'm sorry. It did flip. The Texans are one and a half. When I wrote it down an hour ago, it was Jets one and a half. That's what I picked, so I hit that exactly. You got it exactly. All right. I was just insulted that the Jets at one point was favored. It's like you got it exactly. I feel like you're on the Jets. You got it anyway. Yeah. Sunday marquee game is great. Lions at Green Bay.

Sadly, we don't know if Jordan Love, what his status is going to be. I just picked it like he's going to play because I assume he's going to play the Lions by three. Wow. So you think with Jordan Love, the Lions, you get it anyway. It's three and a half. Okay. But I thought Green Bay would be a one-point favorite with Jordan Love. I'm so off today. So off. I have three watchable games, and the first one is your team because it's Falcons-Cowboys. Mm-hmm.

You kind of need the game. Yep. I'll go this far. I kind of like watching Atlanta. You do. I think they're a fun hang every week. Yeah. I enjoy watching their team. I like their offense, their defense. They can't rush the passer. So the other offense is always good. Their games are fun to watch.

I have the Falcons minus three over the Cowboys. I think you could throw on them. I think you could actually potentially beat them. All right, I'm going to get this one. I said Falcons by one and it's one and a half, but it probably will move up to a number you have. Yeah, it depends what version you're getting, right? If Cousins is in sync and Kyle Pitts is alive...

and Mooney and all those guys are clicking on offense, it's great. It's fun to watch. But if it's 17-15 and they're trotting Koo out to kick a 54-yarder that means something or doesn't, I hate that version. Bears are the second rewatchable game. They are at Arizona. This game will be, I think, interesting and compelling.

And I have the Bears favored by one. Ooh, all right. I get this. I had Arizona by two and it's Arizona by one and a half. Don't agree. Don't a lot of people from Chicago live in Arizona? Like, isn't that the transplant? Is it? Yeah. So he's one. Yeah. I think there's a lot like that. So the, like it's a little closer to Illinois to just like zoom down there. Yeah. I don't know what the point is, but. Well, yeah. I mean, if you had the two residents things,

Hey, you balance it. You got to get out of Arizona in the summer in Chicago. That's the most fun time to be in Chicago. Right. A lot of Bears fans. That's what I'm saying. Well, didn't they used to be, they were the Chicago Cardinals, right? Cardinals. Yeah. Oh yeah. They moved from Chicago to Arizona. Right. Before our time, please. Let's way before our time. You know, there's something on, speaking of Chicago, there's something on Instagram of all of Walter Payton's touchdown throws. Really?

He was by far the best throw non QB thrower of anyone who did that. And I was thinking like, I still have him number one for any running back I've ever seen.

Walter Payton. And we didn't even get to see him that much in New England. I mean, it was only like every once in a while, but we'd see the clips. But I just thought he was the best at everything. I don't know if there's been anyone like him since. He was dazzling. They say Jim Brown before him. But yeah, he could do it all. You know what? And as a quarterback too, let's go back to your list of who's better than Rodgers. Would you take Walter Payton? Would you rather Walter Payton or Rodgers? Right now. 1978, Walter Payton or Rodgers? Forget 78. Right now, I would take Walter Payton.

He was so good. Who's your number one? Would you say Emmett just out of loyalty? Well, I would, but I mean, what are we saying? Because like the best hang, best to watch was Barry Sanders. There's no doubt. Yeah, but if I'm trying to win games and win the Super Bowl, if I had one game, I would take Emmett. If I had a whole season, absolutely Walter Payton. But I thought Emmett for one game with a decent offensive line was getting you 155 yards.

And he was going to move the chains 11 times. We'll probably forget names like Dickerson and guys like that. But I even put like Terrell Davis pretty high in terms of like. So that's the other one for me. Cause it was a short prime, but that those two years where it just seemed like he could run 45 degrees and go six yards of thing. He'd be the other one for me. Out of the 21st century guys. I don't know. A lot of people would have Tomlinson here and I just never, he never quite got there for me as good as he was better in fantasy than real life. Peterson. Yeah.

I don't know. Last one for the watchable. Seahawks-Rams. It's in Seattle. And I have the Seahawks by two and a half over the Rams. That's exactly what I had. It's one and a half, though. Ooh. It's 3-3. 3-3. Very watchable. I have some real losers in here, though. Go ahead. I did something today because we had the eight early games today, by the way. Mm-hmm. I did the multi-view for the big TV. I put Green Bay-Jacksonville on its own TV on the side.

And then I had the other three games, Browns, Miami, and Buffalo. I had them on a three-team multi-view, but I kept clicking. That was the one I was controlling with my finger, like on the remote. Kind of kept on the Browns, but if it was a commercial, we'd zoom back for all three. I watched eight games at the same time. I was really proud of myself. What a world this is, right? Yeah, so did I. And you didn't mention Red Zone once. You don't need it. Watch the games. Listen, those are Red Zones for the kids.

They're giving us the games. They're putting filet mignon in front of us. Why are we grabbing the mashed potatoes? Come on. Fairly watchables. Buffalo is home for the Miami Dolphins. And I think this goes right into the Vegas zone and it's Bills by five. That's what I said. It's six and a half. Out of the Vegas zone. Well, they beat them 31-10 week two, right? Yeah, they killed them. If I'm playing the Dolphins after watching that game, I'm playing everybody tight

And I'm making Tua try to hold the ball for two seconds because I think he's under direction not to. Brown's home for the Chargers. And you could have argued this should have been a watchable. I have the Browns favored by one and a half. Oh, I got this right. I had Chargers by two. It's Chargers by two and a half. That's stupid. I don't agree. I don't even like this Chargers team. I don't know. So you had that game on a multi-view? Yeah.

Oh, no. That was the late afternoon. That was a later game. I watched that game. I look at that. I'm like, I feel bad for everyone who has to sit in traffic because they bought tickets to the Saints Chargers. Disgusting. I'm on some threads about, you know, there are 10 receivers picked in the first 37. Harrison, neighbors, Dunzey. The Pats had the 34th pick in the second round. Brian Thomas went 23rd.

Casey traded up for Xavier Worthy at 28. You want Ladd? So five guys I really like. Ricky Pearsall, 31, look good tonight. Legette on Carolina. He's at least done a couple things. Keon Coleman, I think, has been good on Buffalo, 33. We had the 34th pick. Traded back with the Chargers. They took Ladd McConkie, 34th. We took Jalen Polk, 37th, who...

I think has the worst stats of any receiver who's had over like 10 targets this season. Somehow the Pats have done it again with second round receivers. I don't know how we do it. How many? Not crossing them off, but I'm just saying, I was thinking about it as Ladd McConkie was like the star of the Chargers game. No, no. Did you cross him off your fantasy teams? He was on at least two of your fantasy teams, Jalen Polk. Not anymore. He was way a long time ago. Right. Yeah. So we traded, we had the 34th pick.

We traded back for the 110th pick, traded back three spots and went from 137 to 110. So they moved up 27 spots to not have Vlad McConkie, who just seems like he gets open and makes big plays all the time. And actually catches the ball. He used to work out for you all the time. Catches the ball like everyone else on the Patriots. Washington is at the Giants. I couldn't go higher than four in this. I have Washington by four.

You get it. I said two, and it's three and a half. I don't know why I said two. That was dumb. It's 5-5. This was 21-18, right? Who won this? Washington won the first time, 21-18. Well, that was the one where they didn't have the backup kicker. That's right. And then couldn't, they had to go for it. Yeah, Washington didn't score. Touchdown, yeah. Ravens-Broncos. I'm putting the Broncos right away on Moneyline underdog alert.

Oh, wow. After a loss? Huh? After a Ravens loss? No, I'm not betting it. I'm just saying. Like that Ravens. Ravens at home. Minus seven.

against Denver and the reason you have to do the that's my pick but the reason I have them on alert is it just seems like when the Ravens play a shitty team they just decide to play shitty or like a mediocre team like they rise to the occasion and get some good teams and a game like this like ah Bo Nix he can't throw the ball and right now they think they'll just show up and then you know all of a sudden it's 14 to 12 with four minutes left I could see that

I said five and a half, but Fandle disagrees with both of us. They say this is going to be a shellacking eight and a half they went with. So you win. You know, Fandle...

I say this out of love and it's a compliment because FanDuel has been great to us and they're an awesome partner. And I like FanDuel. They rebranded those RSNs. They did. Yeah. And I was watching the Warriors Clippers game tonight and it said like the FanDuel Sports Network. It was kind of cool. It was actually like, it seemed like pretty smart that they got all those RSNs. It's just like automatic promotion. All your boosts popped up. Did you see your boosts promoted on that?

No, that sounds great. Yeah. You're not getting paid for that? No, I didn't see it. I didn't see it. They should. They should though. Why not? I just like FanDuel Sports Network so much more than Bally's, whatever the fuck Bally's was. All right. Last one for semi-watchables, Eagles, Jaguars, and Philly. Doug, do we lose Coach Middlesey tomorrow? This week, you mean? Yeah.

Well, tomorrow's when they fire coaches. Oh, I see. Yeah, you're right. You're right. Oh, man. I would have pulled the plug three times. By the way, this was flexed out of the night game, right? That's how much they hate middle seat. Yeah. This is now a late afternoon game. I think this is it for him. He doesn't leave Philly. They give him a cheesesteak and a bus pass, and that's that.

We'll always have him and Nick Foles somehow beating the Patriots and Belichick and Brady. We'll go down 40 years from now, people will just be staring at the box score going, wait, what happened? That kills you. That's top three for you worst. I think if you, there's probably too many Yankees shit in there. No, the worst ones are the two Giants ones were worse than the Eagles ones. Yeah. All right. Yeah. So this doesn't crack the five, I don't think. The

The first Giants one, they played better than us. Like I know we were supposed to win, but that team was running on fumes and the Giants played great that game. They, they beat the shit out of us. They deserved to win. The second one was bullshit. I don't know how we didn't win that game. That was that giant. That second Giants team has to be one of the worst Superbowl champs ever. I have no idea how we lost to that game.

Gronk was hurt. I lost a lot of money on both. So stupid. You watched that game. I actually watched that game two summers ago and I was just like, how the fuck did we lose this game? Yeah. Eagles-Jags. I have Eagles minus six. You're closer. I said five and a half. It's seven. Hmm.

Can we urge America not to tease the Eagles? You won't do Eagles? No. Keep the Eagles out of your dirty mouth? No. Really? Don't trust the Eagles. You don't think they're back on track? Don't trust the Eagles. That's true. You know, you did warn us because when you said Sirianni's got that swagger and then it goes the other way, right? Yeah, don't trust them.

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I don't know how the Bengals can be favored by more than seven, seven and a half. So I went seven. I didn't feel good about that. You're good. This is where you pull away. I said six. I didn't even think they were that strong. Eight and a half is the number. Oh, that's stupid. Jesus. They stink.

I mean, talk about like no pass rush, no pressure or anything. Holy shit. Hurts has to feel like he probably didn't even get touched in that game. No, I know. It was Tush pushing from like the three yard line. Like he didn't even care. We saw Desmond Ritter come in for a play for one play. And I was like, oh, and then, oh, where's he going? What happened? Not that we haven't seen enough of him. Did we have a nickname for Desmond Ritter? Did we? What did we have?

Middle C says no. It feels like something you would have come up with. Other poop fact the game. Titans are home for the Patriots. And this is a 1.5 if I've ever seen it. Titans by 1.5 over the Pats. That's what I said. I tried to think about it and I gave up. And so I went to the go to one and a half. It is three. The Titans are a three point failure. They're terrible. Jesus. They're awful.

Talk about poor, like to go from Mike Frabel to the coaching. I don't know Mike Frabel. I don't like, I didn't like, not like we're friends. I couldn't believe they fired him. Thought he was a really good coach. They have this team now that just gets like torched on special teams. They just give away games. They gave away that bears game week one. They did two, three stupid things every week.

I agree. They had Mike Vrabel. The stupid, you know, I don't know what happened on the ring of pregame show today because like these guys laughed at me when I made the bills, my best bet last week against the Titans. And it took them a minute to get rolling. And then this week they're like, all right, which big favorite loses? It's Detroit, right? I'm like, no way. Right. They can't get out of there. They're scoring in bunches. It's like a college game. Well, we're not done with the poop fact that we have our own category.

One, two, three, four, five. I wrote down seven O's. It's the poopfecta. Saints at Panthers. Holy moly. Well, I not watched one minute of this game. You couldn't, you could bring in TVs and I would, I would throw them against the wall over watching this.

They toss you 10 iPads. The Apple Store brings them to your house. No. My goal next week is to not watch a single play from this game unless it's cut into a game I'm watching where they're like, let's go to Carolina. We already saw it. There was a 47-10 in the original. Right. When we were talking about the Saints with the 99 Rams. No, they've lost six straight. I have a Saints minus three.

Okay. This floored me and you get it again. I think you, you won the week at this point. Yeah. I said two, I said two and a half. It's six and a half. Well, this is Raheem said this on the Sunday pregame show today, which is excellent. You should watch it on YouTube TV every week. Cause it's house on it. Thanks. 11 o'clock on Sundays, YouTube TV, put in your library and YouTube TV, YouTube TV, great product. And then, uh, it's right there. And Raheem was like,

His model had them, what, 16 points behind every other team? Right. Yeah. Minus 16 or something. Which is like kind of being borne out week to week to week where they're just getting slaughtered. Yeah. So, yeah, maybe that's why. Six and a half. Well, I guess Carr's coming back. Oh, they're just so bad. They're just so bad. They lost 28-14 to Denver. Yeah, I guess it makes sense. Sunday night, Vikings-Colts in Minnesota. Flexed. Flexed.

I don't know how you start Richardson in this game with the way the Vikings and Flores. You have to start Flacco, but I think they're just kind of pot committed to Richardson at this point. I have Vikings by four and a half. Ooh. I thought with that explanation, you're going to go higher. I went five and a half. It's six and a half. Hmm. Let me count. There's no way, right? Four, five, six, seven, two, three, four, five, six, seven, eight, nine, ten. No. Fuck that. Yeah.

Well, you'll put that in a teaser. I mean, the Vikings coming off a loss on extended rest. You love that. If Flacco plays, I'm betting the Colts. Wow.

I think the Colts have been playing pretty well. Their quarterbacks really hurt them, but I think they, their defenses look better. They can run the ball. I like their receivers. I just think their quarterbacks just been bad. I think I don't like them because they have a lot of fantasy players who have let me down and it might be because of Anthony Richardson, but the Michael Pittman, like there's, those are a ton of second tier receivers like Pittman and flowers. And I have all of them that they're just don't ever produce. Yeah.

Monday night. Somehow the Chiefs are home for another Monday nighter. The league's really thrown them some bones this season. Yeah. Hey, Mike, are you playing a Monday night at home in Arrowhead? Bring on the Sunday, Mike. Come on. I don't want to go to Minnesota. It's freezing. Chiefs home for the Bucs. And I'm going to say Chiefs by seven.

I said six. Nine and a half. Oh, Jesus. They're just killing Tampa. Not the Chiefs necessarily. The odd Fandle. Just no respect. And they put up a lot of yards today. Yeah. Well, that's it. Another win for me. Yeah, you're up. I need you on codeine. This is a problem. 5-3-1. You're up after nine weeks. Thanks again to Workday for sponsoring this segment. Be a finance and HR rock star.

with Workday. To learn more, visit Workday.com. Yeah, I knew I was getting super sick on that last Sunday and then I got killed. I was sick all week.

You were delirious. As sick as I was like so sick. I know. I had it a few weeks ago. Sucks. Yeah, I thought like I was like, am I dying? Like, is this just what happens when we get old? Because I was sick all the way to like Friday. I do wonder that. Yeah, I was like, is this something I would have been able to shake off at 33? But then I'm like, no, I don't think so. The good news is on Tuesday,

or maybe Wednesday, one of those days, I couldn't get out of bed. I needed something to watch. And I'd gone through all the Soprano seasons. I finished season seven. So I was like, do I just run it back and start in season one? I was like, nah. So I put on that Aaron Hernandez show. Oh yeah. And I thought it would be like this terrible show that I, it would like, I'd be, I'd be in a haze. I'd be barely paying attention, but I'd kind of enjoy it.

it wasn't bad. I kind of liked it. Really? Yeah, I kind of did. And all the stuff that's been cut out on Twitter about like Aaron Hernandez trying to run that out and up and they pulled out like the funniest stuff, like the Belichick guy who's doing this like crazy SNL impersonation of Belichick. Yeah, all the reveals. The reveals are big, right? Like when Kraft walks in the room, it's a big thing. When you're watching it like hour to hour, it doesn't seem as bad, but

I got to be honest, like I kind of avoided the Hernandez story. I knew he had a couple of crimes. Yeah. You know. Well, you're watching the nonsense version though. Watch the three documentaries that are out on it. But I didn't watch any of those. So I didn't know a lot of the background. And the show lays it out like...

Kind of how he ends up unraveling. And I don't know, it was pretty compelling. It wasn't great, but it was like, it was no better or worse than all the other stuff I watched, like the Menendez brothers and all these, they're all the same show. Um, but the bonus for me was, it was a typical kind of stupid brain, you know, brain salad show.

But it was my team. So it was like, it was the Patriot uniforms. It's like, oh my God, that's Alex Guerrero. And then Kraft comes in and it's some actor playing Kraft and Myra Kraft's there. And I don't know, I kind of, I was like almost unconscious, but I kind of enjoyed it. Yeah, I've been going back and forth between Menendez and Hernandez. And you're right, they are kind of the same, but yeah, but there's just, it just, they need consultants though. When like, they're going to take, when Aaron Hernandez,

is six feet out of the end zone and they call it a touchdown. Like, come on. If I want that, I'll watch the real games. Well, this is the agency I've wanted to do forever. The sports movie, sports TV consultant agency. How is that hard?

Yeah, they had, like a recurring thing is his brother is an aspiring quarterback because he played like at UConn. Let's just say they didn't use any CGI for the throws. I do feel like the sports scenes now and all these shows and movies are amazing because they can just CGI the crowd. You really feel like you're watching a game. They're much better. I don't know, it kept my interest. They're much better. And the Gronk guy is hilarious too. And he's like good friends with Gronk, which is the guy who plays him.

Oh, is that true? Yeah. Yeah. He's been his body double in commercials and everything else. So they're, they're buddies. I was thinking they do this based on a true story thing. Yeah. And what that, that gives you a ton of leeway, right? So they could kind of sneak two or three things in there that aren't necessarily true. Like,

why not just have Hernandez get drunk with Belichick one night and try to make a move on Belichick and Belichick? Like what, what are the lines of things you can do on a, based on a true story? I think it's, um, there's been so many of these and, uh,

I don't even know. Like the Freddie Mercury one was nuts. Like when, when and where he was sick at the time, they really took liberties with that. The Elton John one was supposedly crazy. Like once, once it's based on, you can do basically whatever you want. Yeah. Like Dahmer dated princess die. Like it doesn't even matter anymore. It's really nuts the way they put it together. Like, could he have like a, like kind of a sexting relationship with Roger Goodell? Just throw that in there for no reason. Like, Hey Roger, what are you wearing tonight? Yeah.

I don't know. I just feel like I wish they would almost get crazier when they do these shows. No one's really been successful suing on something like that. So I wonder if you take it to the extreme. Yeah, like how far could it go? I guess everything has to be rooted in fact. But when he goes in, there's a scene where he asks Belichick for a trade, right? And it's just the two of them in the room. So there's no way to actually know what happened. And Belichick's like, we just gave you a new contract. What are you talking about? We can't trade you.

But like, what if that didn't happen? Could Belichick sue? It's like his word against the dead guys. Right. It's too hard to prove. Yeah. I don't know. Aaron, which one's the dead guy? Oh, Belichick's not the dead guy. Belichick was pretty lively last week. He was throwing darts left and right. I know he was. Yeah. It was just kind of nuts that that guy was on our team. As now we've been further removed from him, like, holy shit, this guy was a fucking maniac. He played a year.

as a murderer. Right. He played a full year after the murders.

It didn't take much to set him off. I'll tell you that much. And then he got this house and he had this whole wall of guns, which I said, I know it's based on a true story. Maybe it was three guns and they decided to add 12, but he had like a fucking Tony Montana wall of guns in case somebody came after him. The guy, like he was just absolutely out of his mind. They kind of intimate that there was some CT stuff with him too, which I'm sure is true. Yeah. I think, I think they took a look at his brain. It wasn't pretty.

Yeah, there's two left. So he still has a couple murders left and some jail. So we'll see how that goes. But yeah, I don't know. We're running out of guys like this to do shows about. Yeah, you're right. They're almost going to have to start running back things that they've already done. Like I know they did Bundy five years ago, but maybe just like bring him back again. Are you saying step it up athletes? We need more like atrocities for the current athletes. Yeah.

Come on, Shohei. What are you doing here? Yeah, I would watch nine episodes of the Shohei interpreter thing. I would too. That sounds great. It's got to be coming out. So I went to game two yesterday. And neither of us have done a pod since that Freddie Freeman game, which I think was the most important baseball game probably the last eight years. Is that fair? Since Cubs game seven? Yeah, I think that's good. Yep. Like one of the five most memorable games

baseball games of this century. I felt like everybody was watching it or knew about it. It was a Friday night, big stars, the biggest two franchises we have and really like a crazy memorable game. And then the game yesterday was pretty good too. And then Otani gets hurt in the eighth inning and the crowd, he doesn't get up.

And the crowd was like, that was it. The crowd was dead after that. It was just like, they're in the headlights, but it seems like he's going to play game three. I'm like a pig in shit watching how bad it's going for Judge. Does that make me a bad person? I don't know. No, I don't think so. I think it's a lot of fun, but I'm going to sound like a sap here, but for that game one, the overall ratings were great and the LA ratings were superb, but the New York ratings weren't

So weren't as high as they expected. And they chalk it up to, well, when one New York team is out, those fans don't care. So like Met fans aren't watching as much of the Dodgers, Yankees. I can't get enough of it. Like just growing up and seeing them having played each other in that uniform matchup and everything. I kind of hate them both. I definitely hate the Yankees more. And then the LA backdrop and everything. It's just, it's beautiful.

And the Dodgers have incredible fans. And I've been saying this since we moved out here. I think you took me to my first Dodger game like 20 plus years ago. Yeah, we double dated. But like the amount of jerseys. Yeah, this was I was trying to think like what's the best final event game to go to out of the four sports. And I actually think it's the World Series.

Cause Superbowl, you have a lot of like people who don't care about either team or they're just there. It's corporate basketball and hockey. It's super exciting, but it basically just feels like a bigger version of like the conference finals, right? It doesn't feel different. It feels important, but it's not, doesn't feel like,

any like crazy more weight than, I don't know, game seven of the Eastern finals. Are you saying going as a non-fan? Like you're not, I mean, I know you're, I'm saying whether you're a non-fan or a fan, it's just, there's, there's a different vibe to it. It really feels like so special. Like they have the different, all the stuff before the game. Yeah.

The banners they put up, the special hats with the logos that sell out immediately. Everything about it. It's all good. But the intensity, and I don't know, you can make a case that there's, for all those sports, there's intense. But when I went to game two of Mets-Dodgers...

even though they won by, you know, it was like six, three bases loaded and the fans were going nuts. I'm like, I have nowhere to hide. I want to hide somewhere. I want to be home right now. What am I, why am I doing this to myself? So that is, that's a tough thing to match.

We had, I wasn't driving yesterday, but we left after the bottom of the eighth because the Dodgers were up three runs. And I think we would have stayed if it was a one run game. I also wasn't in charge, but it's a two and a half hour decision. Yeah. If you stay for the, if you stay for the final out, it's just an extra two hours. So you just have to decide if it was the Red Sox, obviously I would have, I wouldn't have left, but I don't know of another,

team in any sport that has that kind of traffic decision after. Yeah. It's two and a half hours. That's like driving from Boston to Greenwich, Connecticut. It's no picnic getting there either, no matter where you live. And I think people like in small towns listen to this and like, what's wrong with these guys? You know, we have a team in Kansas City and it's fine. We're in and out. Like,

You don't understand. You don't understand. It's like a nine-hour commitment, the game being three hours, you know? Yeah. And four of those hours are definitely going to suck. So you really got to want to go. Yeah, we left at 2.45 yesterday for the game started at 5.15. That's too late. And then the game... No, we were able to... I was with somebody that knew some secret roads. There's like that whole secret road universe too. Right.

But yeah, it's like after the game, if you leave at the same time of everybody pouring out, you're in the parking lot for two hours. Right. Yeah. Going one mile an hour stop, one mile an hour stop.

Oh, this person wants to get in. Fuck you. I'm further ahead than you. I'm going to, and it's just, that's two hours. And I don't know how they haven't figured this out. They make, they have the most, they make the most money out of any baseball franchise. Have they not figured out any version of trying to fix this? And here's what's bad about it. You got happy Dodger fans who were immediately put in a shitty mood hour two of trying to, you know, not getting offended by their weaving in and out of that, you know, whatever, Vin Scully drive. And then you got the,

the angry fans who left because their team lost, who are just on 10. Yeah. They want to, you just want to kill anybody. Aaron Hernandez, uh, right. Remake right there. But the funniest part of all of this is it's such a fucking hassle to get there and to leave. But then when you go there, it's one of the best stadiums in any professional sport. It's out of control. That's so cool. Everybody should go. No, it's, it's, I think to me, how many must stadiums are there for you? Uh,

Cause I actually thought Dallas was when we went to Dallas, I thought it was on the list for me. The Cowboys stadium. Fenway. It's gotta be there. Wrigley. Wrigley. Dodger stadium. Yeah.

What else would you say? I'll say this Clippers thing is right now. Lambo, definitely. Lambo. Clippers, put it in there only because it's so different. I haven't been there yet. I don't have an answer. Everybody loves it. Everyone goes wild for it. People are pretty fired up for the wall. Yeah. The wall is t-shirts being thrown by the actual athletes on a screen.

I've never been to the Montreal stadium, the hockey stadium, but I, I don't know like how cathedral really it feels when you go in there and how much history you can feel, but that's one I've always wanted to hit. Well, you don't, you don't like the college ones, but there's probably four or five we should have college. There's like another 10, right? Yeah. Yeah. I was just going pros. Yeah.

Yeah, college, there's a million of them. How many have you, how many have you actually gone to? Probably not that many. The college ones? I haven't gone to that many either. Not too many. Syracuse was fun because it was right by me and it was loud, but not too many other than that. Rose Bowl and Oregon was great. How was your Halloween party? It was good. Nephew Kyle and I went, we had the same costume though. What was it? Kyle, who are we? Matt Foley? It was an SNL theme.

which I thought was good because it's a double Matt Foley's. Yeah. It's the 50 year. I'll send you the picture. Um, and Don Barris, his girlfriend was also Matt Foley, but, uh, yeah, we did the 50 year and it was like kind of a good theme because it, you know, it spans a lot of generations and you got a good sense of like who, who got to see, um, you know, like, Oh, this is when you watch. Oh, interesting. You watch these. So yeah, that was, uh, yeah. Nephew Kyle and I, we just stood opposite sides of the yard the whole night. Was anyone the more cowbell guy or no?

Yeah. Our friend Will Burke. That was another Cowbell guy. All right. Let's do parent corner. What do you got? Let's do it. All right. So, I mean, I got so much stuff. Is that a wrestling tournament? 615. Wrestling tournament. Saturday. Yeah. Like the real stuff. The high school stuff. But that's whatever. We went and he lost and that was that. All right. Here's something. A girl likes my 10-year-old Harrison. And we found the note.

And he was at this stage where he doesn't want anything to do with girls, right? He's all sports. I think sports is the cool thing, right? We found the note and it fell out of his backpack and it really did. We didn't go digging. And it said, thanks for everything. I love you. And then the girl's name, I'm not going to say. It was like, thanks for everything. I love you, Aaron Hernandez. What is going on? He's getting thanks for everything. Why do you know Aaron Hernandez? Yeah.

what's everything they take off to Aspen after school like so after we we had to ask him about it and and he immediately gets defensive like I don't even know her it's not for me I don't care like three things that could not both all three be true and I was thinking like

When I was 10 or 11, I had my first girlfriend and my parents did this to me and you hate it, right? And they're like, Oh yeah, you like her and she likes you. And where are you going to go? You're going to go after school. You can go somewhere. And I'm sure my parents, parents did it to them. But, um,

It's not the right thing to do, right? Because I'm just pushing him further away from the whole thing if I'm making fun of him. So is there any way to make fun of the situation? My wife and I talk about this a lot. She's like, you make it worse when you make fun of Ben. He gets mad. Right, right, right. But it all works out. I don't know how to converse if I'm not making fun. I can't just become another human being. Is there anyone else that does that, though?

Do we have any friends that play it cool and be like, I'm just going to be respectful and not asking that? No, right? There are probably better parents than us. Yeah, yeah. Oh, yeah, sure. Because we're fueled by sarcasm and ridicule as a way of parenting our kids. They don't want to hear it from us. Yeah. Yeah, I don't know what it is. So what did you do with the note?

Did you put it on the fridge? Well, I didn't do anything. No, no, no. He ended up tearing it up even though he claimed it wasn't for him and it had his name on it and everything. It's so stupid. But I just don't know. Well, 10 was when Ben had that girlfriend for like six months. 10? Yeah. Yeah. 10 or 11, like fifth grade, right? 10, it's like a little like platonic frisky. Yeah. Nothing's actually happening, but you take pictures together and then...

but it all works out. They they're okay. Right. They'll it's not going to be like, Oh no, my father made fun of me. So I can't, I can't touch a girl until I'm 27. I'll tell you about Harrison, man. He's already a ladies man. He's 10 years old. He hasn't even got their puberty back. Get his balls sticking out of his shorts. He doesn't know left from right. That is one horny 10 year old back.

We don't have control of these kids anyway, right? You send them to school as a boy, they come back a girl, you know? Teachers can do it without your permission. It's crazy what goes on. Happens all the time. The boy stuff only gets worse. Harrison's a lot like Ben. Yeah.

It's only, just wait. But it flips, right? I think he's in the same kind of- Because Ben was like, girls are yucky too for a minute, wasn't he? Yeah, and then it completely flipped. Right, okay. But hated questioning, hated being interrogated in any way. Yeah. Gets mad all the time. We can never get information from him. Who is that? What happened with her? Leave me alone. Yeah. My parent corner, my son really wanted to go to this Tower of the Creator listening party.

at the Clippers Arena tonight. And he never really asked me for anything. Obviously, I have connections with music and was able to help out with some tickets. But we had to use this Intuit Dome thing. Have you downloaded that app yet? I haven't, but I heard it's not easy. First of all, it has one star on Apple, which I think is maybe high out of five. Super hard. But...

So the person who's getting the tickets, they were trying to transfer it to him and it wasn't working because he signed up today. Maybe there was like whatever. So they had to transfer it to me and then I couldn't transfer it to him. And he was on the thing. He's now yelling at me. I'm like, all I did was try to get you with it. Now it's my fault. I don't understand why you can't. They just like instantly start turning on you. And, uh, and I'm in, into a dome hell.

And then I'm like, you just log in as me. Just put it on your thing. Log in as me and you'll be able to get the ticket. He logs in as me. It locks out the account. Now I have to change my password. I'm trying to watch Niner's Cowboys and prepare for the pod. He's yelling at me. It's just going back and forth. Now I changed my password. It's on. I got to figure out how to transfer it.

And it's now my wife's involved. Now she's yelling at him. And all this is going on during the first half of the game as I'm trying to figure out, guess the lines, all that stuff. And it's just this two hour odyssey. And then I don't hear anything for a little bit. He's panicking. Third quarter of the game. I don't hear anything for a half hour. And I'm like, Hey, did you get in? And he just replies. Yeah. Yeah.

No, thank you. No, thank you. No. Yeah. Oh, I forgot to tell you. That was really nice. Thanks. I'm so glad I'm in. I'm pumped.

Hey, I know I was a pain in the ass. Sorry. Just, yeah. Three words. Three letters. Yeah. So that was it. That's what it is when you're trying to do something nice for your son. He's still mad at you. He's probably mad. He's a fucking dad. I'm into it, Dom. It's so stupid. You wouldn't have had to change your password. I would have gotten in 10 minutes before.

I don't know that this Intuit dome with these, where they measure your biometrics and they take pictures of your face and nobody else can use your account and you can't transfer tickets. We might've gone too far. Well, and it's cashless once you get in and like you want, you just, you wave it like a wand and you just take food. I don't even think there's a concessionaire from what I was told. Like you take food and it knows what you took. It kind of like from like a mini bar. It does feel like a, like a 2006 JKL bit that you would have done.

Right. Where you go in and you just take like $700 of food and try to see how much you can get through without actually paying for all that. Yeah. Whatever. I don't understand it. It's a little creepy though. A little bit. I don't know if I like it or not. Apparently there's like 2000 cameras in the building and,

They can photograph everybody at all times. They know when you walk in. It's definitely, I guess, what the future is going to look like. And then there's the cheering section and all that, right? The wall. Durant said it was good. Yeah, he said it was... All right, I'm going next week, so I'll be able to report back. All right, you got to report back because I'm excited about this. All right.

That's it for parent corner. Anything else you got? Yeah. Uh, through the ringer with Tate Frazier. He's a delightful man. Lots of fun. We got against all odds a couple of times on ringer podcast network, the ringer pregame show Sundays and on cousin Sal's winning weekend this Friday. I should have you guess who my guest is. Major Aaron Hernandez. It's Aaron Hernandez. Well, that wasn't fun. You guessed right away. Yeah. Uh,

How about this? I'll give you three guesses and I'll give, I'll give you these two hits. He was featured. He starred in a movie about sports gambling and he was honey. Oh, you son of a bitch. Well, that's an easy hint. I like to, I know I shouldn't have said movie. You didn't think it was like Paul Newman. Piven is like Piven was like the Chad Millman character in it. Yeah. Right. I got Matthew McConaughey. That's fun.

So you liked it for the money? I kind of like it. CR wants to do it for rewatchables. He's been pushing it. I want to watch it again because I remember, you know, because we're nuts and I know the premise was a little bit out there, but I'm going to watch it again. All right. Cousin Sal is always, good job by you. Good job by you, buddy. All right. That's it for the podcast. Thanks to Cousin Sal. Thanks to Kyle Creighton and Steve Cerruti as well. Don't forget, you can watch...

Clips from this podcast, as well as the entire show on the Bill Simmons YouTube channel. New Rewatchables coming Monday night. I'm going to have another podcast on Tuesday. I will see you then.

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