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Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Oh no, I said six. Wow. That is so messed up of me. On the night of my son's wedding? On the night before the opening ceremony of the Paris Olympics in 2024? I've completely blown it. I said six rings when this is famously two guys, five rings. Let's take it again. Yeah, let's take it again. Ready? Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring.
I have the yips. You've got the yips, but I think maybe you are...
Just answer the question. Odds or evens? Oh my God. Oh, evens. I think I'm evens. So there you go. And are you odds? You know, in my past, I would have said evens, but in my maturity, I would say odds. And I think you're an evens guy. And so that's why you said it six times and not five. I mean, I have one number tattooed on my body and it is an even number. Even number. So you know what I mean? I feel like I am very attracted to things that divide cleanly.
And I like something that has a center. You love mess. I love mess. You love it's challengers coded. Yeah, it's challengers coded. One, two, three. You, Brittany. Not only you and me. Honestly, you know who's in my camp? Beyonce, famous even numbered queen. Four. Four. What else? Eight. Eight? Oh, because she ate that? Yeah.
Well, I guess, I guess, yes, exactly. That's exactly how I meant it. What did you mean? Well, remember at the end of Get My Body, she goes, nine, four,
four, eight, one, B-day. And I was going to sort of use that as an example, but there's actually equal parts even and odd numbers in that, so it would not have helped my case. So then that, no, it does help your case because she did an even number of both. Oh, wow. Interesting. See, this is what I'm saying. You think about things from a way that would suggest you have a greater mind than the rest of us. A beautiful mind, even like Russell Crowe. Oh, let's hope not because that man was troubled. Oh,
Are you doing the soundtrack of A Beautiful Mind? And it's really ingrained because you know what was my first starring role? What? My sister in the eighth grade made a film, quote unquote, for her class. By her?
No, no, no. She was just... She made... She was a filmmaker. She wrote a film that was kind of like A Beautiful Mind meets The Miracle Worker. Oh, my God. But it was called An Unbeautiful Mind. And I played a very troubled child. And there was like an Anne Bancroft kind of like...
person who came in played by rachel ponias one of my sister's friends uh-huh and it was just this whole like there was a scene where i ate cereal without a spoon that's so troubled it was very it was a very tough role you clearly were disturbed did you throw yourself into it were you method were you being a rascal i was i mean that that was a whole day shoot and i
I really... I didn't know what first team, second team was. Like, I really... I did not know. You didn't even really know what you were doing. I mean, you never know how to perform. You just show up and either it's like crackling or it's not. And it sounds like your performance was crackling. And we clearly know that you would go on to develop your talent so that audiences worldwide could share in it. And girl, I'm sorry. Are you talking about your own trajectory? Because I think you've done exactly the same. I don't like this thing...
or I don't, it's not that I don't like it. I don't want you to feel the need to, but I feel like this is your moment. I don't feel anything except the equivalent sentiment. You know how I feel about you and your work and the way you show up and show out every day. You are one of the great talents. Thank you for saying this. It moves me.
I want to know, so you were someone who did a lot of home videos as a kid. You, Yang, you got to it. Not really. Well, God, yeah. My away message on AIM for a little bit after I had developed...
a sort of filmography as it were in school, I announced via a way message that I was working on a film called varsity checks. That was going to be about cheerleaders. And I like designed the fonts and like, I like, I like really graphic design. This is, this is a huge tip to what you would become. Well, it was like, it's so my thing now, my bag now, which is to publicize and announce the project that I'm doing and then never follow through on it. I can't remember the last time that that happened with you.
I think that you're... That's where you, again, you're casting aspersion on this narrative when there needn't be any. Every time we've announced something, it has come to fruition. We've never canceled the show. I know, but I've, like, I've canceled, like, my...
Screenplay ideas. Oh, okay. Well, that's just private. I mean, we all do that. I know, but still. I feel a little something. I'm like, oh man, I didn't do that. We can't talk about this. But in terms of the stuff that has materialized, I wonder, have you rewatched any of the videos that you did as a kid? And do you ever think, wow, I tore? No, I have no interest. Oh my God. I have really...
Put that away. There is one video that we did when we were kids. By the way, this is a hearkening back to the last episode. I did recreate the entire music video to Behind These Hazel Eyes with my cousin Michael. I was the star and he was the director. And yes, I did run through a sprinkler and throw myself in the pool at the end.
Okay. Okay. It's true. It's true. The rumors are out there. Like sympathy is a knife. Like everyone is trying to get me like it's true. Okay. I'll come out and say it. I did that. You did that. But that is not the one I'm talking about. We did a short film called The Spy. You and Michael? Yeah.
Well, I have to show you what I have to find it. It is. And Chelsea's in it too. My little sister. But I have a scene where I talk on the phone to someone off screen. I talk, I talk on the phone, some of the most natural talking on the phone and high intensity. And like, it was, I watched it. I remember watching it with all my aunts and my aunt Elaine turned to my aunt Lori and said, he's actually good. Oh,
I'm sure it was the first time I realized I had something. I could have been in 24. I wanted to be on the show 24 so bad. That was what informed the spy film. I wanted to keep for Sutherland to get me in a choke hold, throw me up against the wall and scream. Where is she? I wanted that more than, and for me to respond, I don't know. And then him like choke me hard and be like, like,
I'm Mikhail Tucker, but you'll be too late. And then I take a cyanide pill and die. And they cut to the commercial like, dun dun, dun dun, dun dun. And you never see me again. Let's start the campaign now. That's what I wanted more than anything. And I think part of you still wants it.
So bad. I want to be a morally compromised character that Kiefer Sutherland screams at and physically intimidates in such a major way. But the phone call is giving me like Liam Neeson vibes, maybe Jason Statham, like, like just really. Oh, wow. Hello. Yes. Yes. Got it. Thank you.
I just did it. And podcasts aren't a visual medium, but I slayed it. That was... Okay, so now I've got three things. It's Liam Neeson, Jason Statham, Sandra Oh, and The Princess Diaries. Got that? Mm-hmm. Mm-hmm. The Queen is coming. Mm-hmm. Tug of War is coming. She's... Should have been an Oscar nomination. Should have been an Oscar nomination. Also...
I think that what you're describing in the 24 fantasy for yourself, it reminds me of that one guy who made a meal out of two or three lines in Charlie's Angels, the first movie. The guy who tries to kill Cameron Diaz at the club, at the Soul Train club. And she like has him, is choking him with her heel. Yep. Who sent you? Wood. Who? Vivian Wood! Bitch.
And then she like roundhouse kicks him. But he slayed his lines. Killed it. Vivian, what? He spits out class. Oh my God, what a great film. Just the best. The best. I really like talking about these early filming experiences because you almost could say, Beau, that these were, in terms of our artistic lives, the opening ceremonies. And that's how we bring it back to Paris.
And we always bring it back to Paris on this podcast, even if we only stay on Paris at that point for about three minutes. But we always bring it back. But we always bring it back. So now we're past the two guys portion of the podcast. We are firmly in five rings territory. When we come back, we are talking all about the Paris opening ceremonies and opening ceremonies of old. We'll be right back.
And we're back. Beau, it's tightly held secret what's going to happen tomorrow at the opening ceremony. Literally, even our trusted NBC researchers and people behind the curtain, yes, we have them. They could not tell us a thing. I don't even know if they know. So maybe we make some educated guesses about what's in store. Like, what are you thinking? What do you want to see light Paris up on opening night? Well, as what we do know is that it will be outside. It will not be limited to a stadium. It will be along the Seine.
I'm hoping that we get, much like the 1989 Oscars produced by Alan Carr, in which Snow White shows up out of nowhere for no reason, I want Belle, for good reason, to show up and sing about how provincial of a life she had. There must be more to this provincial life. Yeah. I would love Belle to sort of kick off the ceremony with something that's really about France, which is...
Beauty and the Beast, that song, that provincial life, bringing that to the large stage of the Olympics, I think would unite those across political boundaries. And we're not here to talk about politics, but I'm going to imagine they also have it in Paris. And I'm going to imagine that things are very difficult there because I feel like nowhere politics is good. So I'm going to assume Paris, A, has politics and B, needs to heal from it. And I think that Belle could really speak to that.
I think Belle could really speak to that. And I just want... Here's my casting for Belle at the opening ceremony. And I know she's not French. Kirsten Dunst. We've seen her play Marie Antoinette. We've seen her play French. And that's enough. So that's my prediction so far. Let's just keep bouncing back and forth. Anything you are hoping to see or predict to see...
I mean, you know, I feel like if we're to think about our great moments in history when it comes to opening ceremonies, I, of course, think of something I can recently remember, which was the Spice Girls coming out in London. That was closing. Closing.
Okay, well then retract all of what I said and pretend I said it on a later episode that covers the closing ceremony. In fact, we'll just copy paste it. When the Spice Girls came out in London, like in all truth here, that was a moment in culture for me. It really made me happy when they rode out on the cars and they were on top of the cars and they sang Spice Up Your Life. And they came out in like themed, you know, London town cars and
ate it up. So I'm thinking, what's the Paris version of the Spice Girls? Lily Collins. Yeah. Lily Collins. Lily Collins. And the cast of Emily in Paris. That is the French equivalent. That will have to be what we get. Or what if Carrie and the Russians reunite in Paris? Oh my God. Right? Petrov? Bershtakov. It's Bershtakov. Yeah. Yes. Alexander Petrovsky. Oh my God.
That would be so cool. I think I want to see Gaga singing La Vie en Rose. I would love Gaga in any capacity. I don't know. You know what? Joker folia do. You know what? Wait, are we onto something here? Could Gaga appear at the Olympics? As Harley Quinn? Oh.
Doesn't get more French. Doesn't get more French than that. I don't think we're ready for how scary Joker Folia do is going to be. Think about Gaga Unleashed musically and psychotically. We can't talk about the Olympics for more than like two minutes. They knew what they were getting. And look, people love the podcast. It's a cultural institution. Everyone's talking about it. It's on everyone's lips.
Should we talk about some great moments in Olympic opening ceremony history? I mean, there's been quite a bit. There's been quite a bit. I would say so. Let's just start off with
I remember where I was and how I felt when the 2008 Beijing Olympics opening ceremony happened. Yeah. That was a wild one. They had 2008 of everything. So they had 2008 drummers in the beginning. They had 2008 tiles in this printing press where it was actual people under, like, pushing each... It wasn't like a machine. It was all, like, manual labor. Just on a grander, on a scale level, like, that is...
I think one of the more impressive ones. Absolutely. That was Sarah Brighton, I think, singing a song with a Chinese singer. They sang something. But that's when I was like, that's... Sarah Brightman? Like Phantom of the Opera? Sarah Brightman, Phantom of the Opera. Wow. The original Christine? Wow. Came out and carried at the Beijing Olympics opening ceremony? For whatever reason, she was in Beijing. Our Christine was in Beijing. I get it, though.
So I guess Beijing kind of went all out. They went very extra. They went extra. Absolutely. Do you remember the Queen Elizabeth II skit with James Bond, a.k.a. Daniel Craig, at the 2012 London Olympics opening ceremony? Because a queen lookalike fully jumped out of a plane and the actual queen arrived wearing the same peach-colored dress. She actually was down to clown, that Queen Elizabeth. I think we're not giving her enough credit for how she, A, held s*** together.
together with the royal family because low-key look at them now and that's not slander because we're talking about the Paris Olympics. This isn't the London Olympics where I'm sure we'd have way more decorum. Maybe, maybe not. But she also had a sense of humor. She had a sense of humor. Where's the crown episode on that? About how funny she was? Well, not only about how funny she was, but also about the opening ceremony. I want her meeting Daniel...
Them discussing what it's going to be like on the day. I just want to hear Queen Elizabeth II say, on the day. I'll do it on the day.
I don't know why I'm talking like, what is that, Adele? I'll do it on the day. That's good. On the day, it'll be better. Now you have an Adele and a Ray. Now that Ray is becoming more of a, more of a public. Isn't Ray more, more like, like, Ray is less bothered than Adele. Adele's up here. Ray's more down here. Ray's down here.
don't it right can't believe I'm at SNL that's what she said to me she said that yeah that's so cute this is amazing I can't believe I'm here it's amazing I can't believe I'm at SNL it's so amazing
I've never dreamed this big. You are accented. When I was a young girl, I never thought I could dream this big. You are so good at accents. I'm getting horny from your accent work. Don't. Don't get horny. In the middle of the day. You can't be getting horny because then the whole day goes. When you get horny too early, honey. Honey. Then you're just empty the rest of the day. Okay.
Did they tell us when we started recording this, like, hey, don't curse? I don't think they did. And I think it's okay. I think they did say that they might bleep us. Well, that's fine. I kind of think a bleep is chic. I love a bleep. I think a bleep takes me back. Bleep takes me back to, like,
You know, watching television. Yeah, like, you know what I mean? And hearing that bleep was so titillating. Talk about getting horny. What was the word your body thinks? Right, well, talk about linear TV. This is the Olympics. This is a celebration of linear television. Oh, yeah, this is so old school. This is bringing TV back. Down with the screamers. Sorry, Peacock. We love you. You know that we love you, Peacock. You won the Las Coterasas Culture Award. You're a Coach Award winner for best streaming service presented by Peacock. Ha, ha, ha.
But the winner was Peacock. The winner was Peacock.
Now, the 96 Atlanta Games, I wasn't totally keyed into the Olympics at this very young age. I must have been five or six years old. We were young. We were young. But I have seen images of these hot silhouettes. Gorgeous, hot silhouettes. The Atlanta Olympics opening ceremony was certainly giving. And especially to note, we would have enjoyed this very much because if you bring out Gladys Knight singing Georgia on my mind now today...
I'm on my feet screaming the word respect. And six-year-old me, I don't think could really receive that and could maybe identify with Georgia on my mind. But adult me, who? In a word, who? In a word, who? In a word, I would have signed up to be a pip. Mm-hmm. He's leaving. Leaving. On the midnight train to Georgia. Leaving on a midnight train.
That's a great song. That's a great tune. Almost as good as Great Balls of Fire. Second time mentioning Great Balls of Fire on this podcast. Amazing. The 2000 Sydney Olympics, I really, really loved. This was the first opening ceremony that I sat down for. That you can really remember feeling in your heart and loins. Yeah. I just remember when all the nations would come out with their flags, just feeling an immense... And this is what the Olympics give you. Yeah.
You really see the breadth of the world. You see all different kinds of people. I could cry. You see the breadth of the world, B-R-E-A-D-T-H, and you also see the breadth of the world. The breadth. Because you see them living in such pride. And you see the bread of the world because I want to...
take a bite off of that. Period. And no matter who it is. No matter who. That's where we're at. Remember the phrase playing hard to get? Yeah, I forgot what that phrase even means. Honey, when I watched the Sydney Olympic opening ceremony, I said, what is that phrase? I don't know her. I said, what?
I don't know her. What do you feel about North and South Korea marching together in the opening ceremony of the 2000 Sydney Olympics behind a flag depicting a unified Korean peninsula? That kind of... Two words for me, fat chance. Two words for me. False hope, much? That's three. But don't dangle that in front of us. It's giving me announcing to the world via my AMA way message, varsity chicks coming summer 2004. Yeah. It's just...
It's not going to happen. It ain't going to happen. It's giving when... No, Mary Poppins ride in Epcot. It's exactly that. It's literally...
just as hurtful. We're so excited for Dark Universe at Universal Epic Universe. We're so excited for Das Steakhouse. Das Steakhouse. Which I thought was called... It's going to be really good, you guys. And this is NBCUniversal, so this is good that we bring this up and it's relevant. You're going to be able to eat at this theme park in the Dark Universe section, which is Classic Monsters theme. You're going to be able to eat steak on a steak.
And there's going to be familiars of vampires serving it to you. And those are going to be the waitstaff. Name another legendary theme park. You can't. This is going to be number one. Do you remember the 2004 Athens Olympics opening ceremony? Giant, cycladic head rising from the flooded stadium floor breaks apart, falls into the water. It represents what? The Greek islands.
Yeah. We're talking archipelago legends. It's just, you know, to be honest with you, Bowen, this is a tough Olympics for me. Really? And also, just the entire Olympics actually is hard for me. Like, this whole thing has been very traumatizing to do this podcast so far because, as we know, the Olympics has its roots in Greece. And I felt that I had my roots in Greece. And then I did a 23 and me that...
let's just say I was sorely mistaken. So I think I watched this as a 14 year old person, newly excited about the Olympics and the games and the whole pomp and circumstance thinking, wow, they're in my homeland. And to know that I was wrong. No, man. I don't know if I'll ever get over it, Matt. Cause I'm Turkish as hell. Well, this is what I was going to say is that the thing about 23 and me and these ancestry things is like,
Turkey, it's like Turkey, Greece, it's just giving Mediterranean. You are of that part of the world. You are from the Middle Earth, from Meritera.
You are Greek down. If you were raised Greek with a Greek identity, don't let a little test, a little percentage on a little slip of paper or a little website tell you anything different. I can't be sad about who I am and who I ended up being. You know what I mean? Even if I thought it was something different, I still ended up being someone who genetically was made up of the stuff that could cause me to run a 436 mile in the 1600 meters when I was but 15 years old. Wow.
So I guess I can't have regrets genetically, but it stings. I hope you can think back on the Athens Olympics and feel that same pride you felt when you were 14, 13 years old. Sometimes, Bowen, I wish I had never spit four times into that tube. And I don't just say that about this. Oh, what could that mean?
You know, that classic innuendo, the tube. The tube. Oh, the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. There was some drama around this year, 2020. But, I mean, at least we had human performers. At least we had human performers bringing sport pictograms to life. What happened in 2020? No, now I remember what happened in 2020. But you're right. At least we had humans bringing sport pictograms to life at the 2020 Tokyo Olympics. Yeah.
You know, I was watching The Weakest Link the other day with my parents because it was on television. I love that show. By the way, great program. And one of the questions was, the 2020 Tokyo Olympics was held in what year? And when he said 2021, I jumped out of my seat like, idiot! And then she was like, correct. And I was like, and then I remembered I was the idiot for having completely erased the
the coronavirus pandemic from existence. Of course, it took place in 2021. It had to be delayed. So it's kind of nice that we're getting it only three years after the last one in the summertime. Yeah. It's kind of nice. Yeah. Remember the 2016 Rio games? Giselle...
strutting her stuff to Girl from Ipanema. Oh, yeah. Kind of a weird one, I would say. That was a weird one. You know what, though? The weirder, the better. I love that they were like, you know who should represent us at the Olympics? Giselle. I think it's the most chaotic and yet chic choice we've spoken about. Okay. I just...
But that's the main image that we remember, which is so interesting to me. It's weird. It's weird. We have to just mention, going back to Athens, Bjork. Oh, yeah. Say her name. Bjork singing and then having her whole dress unfurl to cover the entire floor of the stadium. That is, I'm sorry to say, and they're going to bleep me, c***y. Yep. She is an Olympic champion.
type of performer. Like you want someone who's going to
give the global impact that can only be delivered by an artist like Bjork. Who do you think that artist would be for Paris as we go into tomorrow, as we wait with bated breath for the Paris Olympics? I have a pitch. You go. Because we said Gaga, but I feel like now it's too good to be true. It makes too much sense. Enya. Oh. I think Enya could come out of, you know, her break that she's taken, I think. You know what jumped into my mind? What did come to my mind? Celine.
Wouldn't that be a major moment in history? Oh my God, we would all... Let's just call it there. We don't have to do anything else in civilization. Celine could come out and just do whatever it is she wanted. But then I was like, oh, is that dumb because she's French-Canadian? But I still think Paris would welcome Celine Dion with open arms as an international icon. And what would be more hopeful than seeing her go up there and like...
No, Celine... Take her space again. Celine has represented other countries in the past, since the beginning, since Eurovision. Since Eurovision, you're right about that. She was for Switzerland. There is something French about her, no matter what. I think this is the only answer, not to set an expectation that will disappoint us because she is still getting well, but that would be pretty amazing in a real way and not in a silly way, like we've been talking on the rest of this episode. We've been talking in a very silly manner, I think.
We have. Let's get serious and let's give out our medals. Let's do gold, silver, and bronze to some of these opening ceremonies that we just listed. ♪
I think we might be in conflict here because I do believe that Giselle Bunchen is a medalist here. I'm okay to give her the bronze medal, just like they probably got bronze before the event. That one was in the tanning booth. Because guess what? Even Giselle doesn't wake up looking like she's ready for the runway. I want all the women out there to know she doesn't just wake up looking like that, okay? She has a lot of help and a team that got her ready for events like, sure, the 2016 Rio Olympics opening ceremony, but...
You could too. You could too. Yeah, okay. We'll give it that bronze medal. I'm going to give silver to... I think Sydney doesn't get a medal because of that North Korea moment. Because of that unified Korea moment. That flopped. That was like teasing something that was never going to happen. I'm going to give silver to Athens. Okay. Because guess what? It is a huge part of your journey of the self to reconnect with your Greek identity.
That will always be with you. And I can appreciate the, you know, what they were doing there with the Cycladic Head rising from the flooded stadium floor, which ultimately broke apart and pieces fell in the water representing the Greek Islands. I think that's really... I get that. I get that. Definitely. Gold medal for me, the humor of Queen Elizabeth jumping out of a plane and then arriving in a James Bond skit. To me, that...
Just like you, just like me, just like Ariana Maddox back in the day, takes sketch comedy very seriously in a way that I think does belong on a world stage. Absolutely. And that's why we are happy to give the gold medal to the London 2012 Olympics opening ceremonies. Bowen, any final words that lead us into what is going to be surely an exciting and really moving opening ceremony? You can catch us doing an Instagram live
after the opening ceremonies. I did not discuss this with Matt. Are you down? Let's do it. I'm so down. I'm so down. We'll actually be in the same place. You know that. We actually will. That's right. We will be in the same place. So this Instagram Live is fully happening and we'll see you tomorrow.
Watch every moment of the 2024 Paris Olympics beginning July 26th. That's tomorrow on NBC and Peacock. And for the first time, you can stream the 2024 Paris Games on the iHeartRadio app. We'll see you tomorrow. But for now, we end every episode with an iconic little tune that you might know. ♪
