Episode IV: What’s Nouveau About the Paris Games?
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Ring, ring, ring, ring, ring, ring. Pick up, pick up, pick up. Hello. Hi. It's us. It's us. Two guys, five rings. Matt Rodgers and Bill Nyang. This is our Olympics podcast. It's off to the races. I mean, it's critically acclaimed at this point. We're four episodes in. We can only assume anyway. We can only assume that we've already won some awards for this.

Now, Matt, when I say the word newness, what is the phrase, what's the sensation inside you that you feel? Can I be honest? Yes. When you say newness, I think efficiency, cleanliness. Yes. I think low stress. Really? Yeah. Newness. Remember, I'm a city planner. So when I think newness, I think...

Practicality. I'm always thinking, like, how do we get from place to place? You know what I mean? Like, how do we make things clearer? How do we make things easier? Uh-huh. Here's what I think about where we're at in society. We need to cull. We need to make things more streamlined. Yes. Okay. I'm with you. What about... Well, I guess I'm thinking more in terms of, like...

There's a new blank in town. As Vanessa Williams once said, famously in the trailer for her Desperate Housewives season, there's a new housewife in town.

See, I guess I'm just so stuck on how we make things work that I'm not thinking about new stuff. Maybe I'm thinking about a lot of repackaging. That's what I'm thinking of. How do we move forward in the future? I have a very Tomorrowland sense of newness, but you're thinking of Frontier. I'm thinking of Frontierland and not Tomorrowland, but I guess they're both kind of the same concept, right? It's thinking about the future. Can I say what I think of when I think of newness? Yeah. I

I think of...

We call it a burst in graphic design. It's like on a bag of chips, let's say, when it says new flavor. It's like that little circle with a bunch of rays poking out. Burst. It's a burst. New flavor. Yeah. New phone model. New car model. Yeah, yeah. I love new car smell. Oh my God. I just got a new air freshener. So excited. Is it new car smell? No, you know what it is? Well, then I don't know why you brought it up. Okay, I'm sorry. I think we're talking about...

factory settings. Yeah. And I love that. You know what? I completely understand that. And I think for the purposes of this episode, we should go with more what you're thinking. Because there's been a lot, there's a lot of new, really exciting stuff happening at the Paris 2024 Olympics. And there's even some new events. There's one new event. There's even one new event. There's even one new event.

There's one new event and there's one event that has a new name. Yeah, and sort of a new edge. And a new edge. There's a new bombshell at the villa. There's a new bombshell at the villa, as Vanessa Williams once said. It's a new attitude, as Patti LaBelle said. Oh, yeah. And some of these events have new rules, as Dua Lipa said.

What you said. Absolutely. Yeah, I think she did say that. And I would agree that it applies here. Just before we get into the five rings section of the show, I want to stay in the two guys section. And it does relate to one of these new events. So just spoiler alert for the five ring section. The new event is breaking. Yes. Literally break dancing. And I want to ask you, Bowen.

In any point in your life, were you someone who breakdanced? No. And were you ever? Because I just I don't know why I have this image of young Bo and Yang in my head. Like young you, like talking about like seven or eight years old, like absolutely popping, locking, dropping, like doing breakdancing. I just I in my mind's eye, I see you as a very excited spry child who danced around a plenty.

You thought I was... You thought I was biting. I'm just looking at some of these breaking terms. Biting. You thought I was a powerhead.

I was a cypher cat. A powerhead is someone who loves to practice, to mostly practice and perform power moves in their break game. A cypher is like a circle that breaks form and dance. And if you're at a breaking event, you'll usually see multiple cyphers around the room happening while the DJ spins music in between breaks in the competition. Wow. Breakers go in a cypher one at a time to dance. Okay. We need to save this for the actual five rings portion because there is a lot of fun stuff happening in breaking that I would love to talk about.

To just get into 100%. But I do have to say, just because you... Bowen Yang is famously like...

famously a Dance Dance Revolution icon. Like when he was younger, he would go play DDR at Best Buy and sort of like really throw it in the face of everyone that worked there and like really shut down any competition that stepped towards him. Yeah. And I just, I don't know. I just think of this as, I think of Dance Dance Revolution as breaking adjacent. And so I guess that's why I brought it up. That's why I associated a potential with you. That's very nice. Look, maybe...

if this is the matrix we're living in and it is you know morpheus can give me the little can download that into me yeah and i will learn it and i will know it but not here not in this matrix can i can i can everything just fall away for one second and let me ask you a question red pill or blue pill neither oh my god

I'm staying. They're going to kill you. They're going to kill you. If you don't choose, they're going to kill you. Here's what I'm pilled. Olympics pilled. Is that where pilled came from? I think so. Like you're red pilled. You're blue pilled. Like it's. Oh, wow. So being something pilled actually dates to the Matrix. That's where I draw the connection. Yeah, that's where you stop asking questions. And so I guess I'm blue pilled.

And thank you for answering my question. And see, that's why you have to always think like a lawyer in the way that I just did. Like a lawyer? Because you have to get people to admit something in a roundabout way when they refuse the first time. I asked you a direct question, are you red-pilled or blue-pilled? And then I had to ask follow-up questions based on your psyche. And I eventually got to the fact that you are blue-pilled. You don't want to know the truth. You would be a trial lawyer.

when you like the performance. I did tell you that like when I was younger, that's what I wanted to be. I wanted to be a lawyer. I love to get up and sort of twirl in front of people and say, and isn't it true? But actually, you know, you can't really say and isn't it true? Because that's leading the way. So all these movies and television shows you've seen where a lawyer said, and isn't it true, Mr. Belafonte, that you did this? Objection!

What? Instructing the jury? Is that one of them? Yeah. There's leading the witness, badgering the witness, hearsay, asked and answered, which is my favorite. I love when someone is talking to me in real life and they have said this a million times and I've seen them say this. And I go, objection, asked and answered. Can I tell you mine? What? Objection. Why is this relevant? Relevant. I love...

objection relevance relevance no but in Legally Blonde in Legally Blonde that the prosecution literally was just like what oh I have a point I promise then make it but I think that lawyer goes why is this relevant yep

So good. Yep. Objection. Why is this relevant? That lawyer turned it. That lawyer has another iconic line when Arisha, this friend, comes into the jury and she's going to represent Ali Larder. And the other lawyer goes, I have no problem with this. And when Shatney confesses, like they cut to her and she goes,

Her jaw drops. I didn't mean to shoot him. I thought it was you under the door. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Oh, my God. Lili Bond is without a doubt the greatest film of all time of all of our generations. It would win a gold medal to match her blonde hair if they gave medals for film. But they don't. They give Oscars for film. And the movie was what? Snubbed. When we come back from our break, we will go into Five Rings and talk about the new sports in Nevada.

See you after the break. Right around the bend. We're back. We're back to talk about, I mean, number one on what's happening, what's new is the fact that breaking is the lone sport making its Olympic debut. Now, we talked a little bit before this break about what breaking is, but by definition, the official definition from the Olympics of breaking is the dance battle sport

characterized by acrobatic movements, stylized footwork, and the key role played by the DJ and the MC during battles. This is really fascinating. There is going to be...

an Olympics DJ on the floor and an MC, depending on the matchups, for this event. I am so excited. When I found out about this last year, I was so thrilled, gooped, gagged. I was like, I can't wait to watch this pop.

Popcorn in the bowl on my lap. It's going to be amazing. It's going to be really, really, really cool. So the NBC, our friends at NBC have said the sports techniques include top rock, which is standing footwork and down rock, which is moves on the floor. So top rock when you're vertical, down rock when you're horizontal.

Then there's power moves, which are twists and spins and the freeze when breakers freeze and poses while using their heads or hands for support. So that's that thing of like where they're sort of using, you know, their body weight and like defying gravity, as it were, if Elphaba were a judge. Can you perform a phrase for me right now? Yeah. Yeah. Ready? Ready?

Yes! That wasn't so good. That was good. Can I tell you something? I could never be a breaker. Never. I'm more of a someone who rolls his body.

In my hips. You have to move. You can't freeze. You can't see this, but I'm doing a very sexy movement with my shoulders. And this is more my thing. You're more perpetual motion, and this is about stopping. Yeah, this is about control, and I have almost none. What I'm excited about is it seems like they're really honoring the history of breaking as it relates to hip-hop history. Yeah.

Our NBC friends are saying sport originated in a rec room in the Bronx where a legendary DJ named Kool Herc debuted a new technique that centered around percussive breaks in songs. So this is when in the breaks, people would start dancing. And so that created the term break dancing. So breaks are central to this form, to this event. Yeah. There's a gold medal favorite, B-Boy Victor.

And then Sonny Choi or B-Girl Sonny is also competing. Do you know B-Girl Sonny? I met Sonny in Cannes last summer. We were hanging out for promotional things for NBC stuff.

She is the coolest girl. I met her beautiful partner. They are so lovely together. She's got the partner. He's so cool. But hello again from the podcast airwaves. She was working at Estee Lauder. This is amazing. This is what you forget is these Olympians have the day jobs and they are oftentimes so fascinating, especially in relation to the events that happen.

our Olympians perform in. Yeah, this says she was director of global creative operations at Estee Lauder and she quit that job to focus on breaking full-time. That's insane. Like, people are leaving really great jobs to fulfill their passion and it's taking them all the way to the Olympics. But we should do an episode about all these athletes' day jobs. Someone write that down. Someone write that down. I think we could go in the Olympic Village, as we said last episode, and...

Kind of do a man on the street, TikTok style. Or, you know, wide video. It doesn't have to be vertical. Bring back man on the street. They're trying to, but some of these TikTok people don't have it. They don't have to borrow a term from Gen Z. There is. Back in my day, man on the street was... You had to have something. You had to have the X Factor. Ross Matthews, intern Ross at the Tonight Show. Mm-hmm.

Billy Eichner, one of the best to ever do it. One of the best people to be on the street. I would love to be on the Olympic Village Square with my sister, Matt Rogers, and ask these people what their day jobs are slash were slash will be. We would do great work there. Because can I say, back in the day when Bone and I were coming up,

You had to do everything. You had to be an actor, a writer. You had to be able to, you know, sing your music. You had to write your music that you sang. Otherwise, you'd never get a deal. You would have to be able to dance or at least move and do choreography. And you'd have to be able to do Man on the Street. And make your own posters for your shows.

But more importantly, man on the street. I have a question about breaking. Is it binary or no? Is it everyone's competing all together? It is binary. I think there is a men and women's breaking event. Hold on. Let's look this up. Confirmed binary. Confirmed binary? Who confirmed it? No, I'm just saying, in a world where we can confirm it, it is a confirmed binary sport. I am interested to hear.

Okay, yes, yes. There's b-boying and b-girling events. All right. 16 b-boys and b-girls competing for two medal events. One for men, one for women. IOC President Thomas Bach stated that they added breakdancing as part of an effort to draw more interest from young people in the Olympics. Well, if I count as young, which I don't, then it's working. Oh, absolutely. I think...

I think I'm excited about this first and foremost now, but also this next event we're gonna talk about in terms of newness. You know, this is more my definition of newness. Like, how do we make it more... Streamline. ...inclusive? How do we make it streamlined? How do we really say what this is? So it's no longer synchronized swimming. And guess what? It kind of never really was. It's artistic swimming. Artistic swimming is what we are calling...

the sport in which we see people in the water give art pop. This is the most art pop event we have seen thus far. There's breaking, which is up there in terms of art pop and then artistic swimming. Now, whenever I get in the water, consider it artistic swimming, by the way, I'm giving art pop whenever I swim, but there's been major changes to this event to really take it to the next level. For example,

Men are now allowed on teams. Congrats to men. We have to be more inclusive to men. Let them swim dance. Let them swim dance. Let them do a Busby Berkeley routine in the water. For God's sake. For the first time in the history of the Olympics, male artistic swimmers will be allowed to compete in Paris. Up to two men per country may compete in the team competition. So not more than two, I guess. Baby steps.

baby steps, but I really want to see a bunch of guys in a circle kicking their legs up, doing the same move.

And then a champagne, a big champagne coupe rises out of the water. And then there's more guys on that. I want, there should be a Busby Berkeley medal event for artistic swimming in the future is what I'm saying. This can evolve and it has evolved and it can evolve to be what you want it to be. It can. For LA 2028, we're thinking ahead, could be something that we consider. Could be something.

Wow. To think that in four years, the Olympics are going to be here in L.A. in my backyard. So cool. This is so freaking cool. So if you go out there and you call it like synchronized swimming, you're going to sound like a rube. A rube. And you'll be shamed for it. In the village. A lot of people asking how do artistic swimmers hear the music? Because famously, Bowen, I don't know if you've tried this, but when you swim underwater, it can become difficult to hear. Yeah.

sound waves travel. Yeah, sound. But it is different. I mean, everything's just a little bit more different underwater. It's kind of like going to Fire Island, how time works differently there. Yeah. It's like sound works differently underwater. NBC has this to say. A set of underwater and poolside loudspeakers allows swimmers to hear their music and stay in sync, whether submerged or performing with their heads above the surface. So they're playing the music

underwater. Basically, so it's like a Hard Rock Hotel. You ever been to a Hard Rock Hotel and gone underwater in the pool? I can't say that I have, but now I want to. I'll take you. I'll take you. We'll go to Hard Rock Hotel. Oh, great. At the NBC Universal Resort. Yes. I just want...

a pool like this anywhere. I don't think hard rock hotels should have a monopoly on pools with speaker systems underwater. Like, I would love for this to be a feature in a Fire Island house. Yeah. In a house on the beach in Miami.

Not on the beach, but you know, like a house, a house in Miami, I should say. Listen, I think if you want a home with a pool that has an underwater speaker, I think you can do that. You just got to keep working. You got to keep working. You're right. Just keep, keep the money coming in and then you can, you put all that money invested into a pool with an underwater speaker and then you can get what you want, Bowen. But you have to, you have to make these things happen. But here's the thing. I know my worth and

and it is definitely worth a pool with an underwater speaker system. I am worth at least that much. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Well, let's see. I want to talk about the five rules of artistic swimming. Yes, it's really important to know the rules. Yes. Courtesy of swimming.org, these are rules for life as well. Yeah. So everyone out there looking to become an artistic swimmer, just know that these are the basic tenets.

Never touch the bottom, except me. You can't touch the bottom of the pool at any time. Just keep treading water and things will work out for you. Yeah, but if it's Bowen, you may touch the bottom. Next. You don't need bling.

No jewelry, no theatrical makeup, no inappropriate costumes. If you look at photos of artistic swimmers, they all still look fabulous. So we're keeping it very minimalist. It should be about the swim dancing, not the extra accoutrement. Okay, this isn't a drag show. This isn't RuPaul's artistic swimming Olympics event. Keep it simple. Keep it classy. Keep it

Keep it unembellished and unadorned. Yeah. Next, the more people, the better. Teams normally contain eight swimmers, but the minimum number for a team is four. You lose points when you have fewer swimmers because it's easier to synchronize with fewer swimmers. Although, I guess we are...

Up to two men per country may compete in the team competition. So maybe there's a certain composition that is specific to the Olympics, but that seems to be the general rule of thumb for artistic swimming events outside. So the more people, the better. Like you could probably like, you would look more impressive if it was 16 people all swimming instead of just two. But I will say if it is just two, you can probably, because you only have two people to look at, you can probably see the mistakes. But then again, it is the Olympics, so they're not going to really make mistakes.

Exactly. But it's like, gosh, the commentators and the judges for the synchronized diving, those eyes are trained because they are picking up on things that I'm like, how did you possibly see that? Yeah. But these are experts, y'all. Next rule, stick to the schedule, people. Routines can be anything from two and a half minutes to five minutes, but you'll be penalized if your routine is off by 15 seconds. Oh, wow. So you really, it's like there is a program.

And it's like, your song is your song. Hit your beats and do not overstay. This is, I don't know. This is very, I take issue with this because what if someone wants to do a routine to Amour de ma vie by Billie Eilish? That's a seven minute song, I think. You couldn't do But Daddy I Love Him by Taylor Swift? Certainly not all too well 10 minute version. No, you couldn't even do the regular version of All Too Well.

And honestly, I want to see that slam dance too. I want to see someone artistically swim to all too well more than I want most things. And I want so much, Bo. I want so much in life. But how badly do you want this? Not bad enough that I'm willing to make it an issue with the Olympic Committee, but I'm not happy about this rule at all. And I have integrity and I know so do you. And so we're speaking up on this podcast to say this rule is bulls**t.

And they need to be able to extend it a little bit to adjust, include the length of Taylor Swift all too well, because we have, as a culture have not heard that song enough. And we haven't talked about that song enough. No. And we certainly haven't swam to it artistically enough. Until we do, this conversation is ongoing. Absolutely. No goggles is the last rule. This rule may not be a great rule for life.

If you want to wear goggles in real life for any reason, you can wear goggles. If you want to wear goggles, wear goggles. As long as you're not obstructing your own view for something that requires your attention if you're not operating heavy machinery, including a car. Or if you want to compete in this Olympic event because no goggles, that's the rule. Honestly, chlorine is such a problem. Mm.

When you dive into these waters and you open up your eyes down there, chlorine's going to be a major issue. My heart goes out to these artistic swimmers. They're bloodshot. They're bloodshot. Finally, let's talk about a new-ish event, which is surfing, but the newness here is that it is not going to be in Paris because you're thinking it's a landlocked city. They're certainly not going to surf on the River Seine, are they? Where are they surfing now? Well, it will take place in Tahiti, where

We're going to cut to Tahiti. We're going to be leaving the Parisian streets. Eiffel Tower, we'll check back in with you in a sec. Because.

because the Paris surfing competition will take place in Tahiti, which is 10,000 miles away. The setting has been called breathtakingly beautiful and punishingly tricky. Wow. This sport made its Olympic debut in the 2020 Tokyo Games. It's new-ish. There are two surfing events, men's shortboard and women's shortboard. And by the way, a shortboard is...

is a smaller surfboard, generally in the five to seven foot range, designed for maximum speed through turns. So you're going to be seeing your twists, your turns, your dips, your dives on these shorter boards than usual.

I can't even wrap my head around surfing. If you're telling me you're supposed to do it faster, I'm out. Listen, it's one of those things you're not going to see me try. I'm not going to try surfing now. I'm not going to try skiing now. I just, it feels frustrating. I think you would like skiing. You think I would like skiing? You always say this, but it's like, I don't know. I think I'd like a ski atmosphere. Don't you want to feel like Gwyneth? Don't you want to feel like... What, crashing into men? Give me a break.

If I want to feel like Gwyneth, I'll go to Goop Kitchen. Okay? I'll have a teriyaki bowl. The teriyaki bowl. She did really good work with that. I'm sure. It sounds good to me now. Do you know what goofy footed means? Do you know what it means to be goofy footed when you surf? It means you go... That was really good. Lauren, that one has a goofy. That one has a goofy. That one has a goofy. Could be interesting. Olympics are coming up.

Goofy footed? No, of course I know what goofy footed means. It means a surfer who surfs with their right foot forward. I think I would be goofy footed. No, I think I'm regular footed, which is the left foot. We should start calling gay guys goofy footed. Well, you know, he's goofy footed. He's goofy footed. Hmm. What does that mean? He surfs with his right foot forward if you catch my meaning. If you gather my meaning. I don't.

Regular footed describes a surfer who surfs with her left foot forward, also called natural footed in Australia. Now, maybe that's why I'm leaning towards that. I'm a very natural person. So that's why I'm thinking maybe I'm regular footed. It's the way God wanted me to surf, which is not to surf. Body made right. Body made right. God created. Now, I want to say this name to you. And I want you to tell me, picture her in your mind's eye. Carissa Moore.

First of all, I play her in a movie. Carissa Moore is definitely my name in the film. Yes. Well, guess what? This is what the movie's about. It's about coming back for more after you took home the gold for surfing in Tokyo. But guess what? Those were some depressing Olympics, weren't they? Now she's back for the, I'm sorry, the real thing.

The real thing in Paris. And she's coming back for the gold for women's shortboard. I support her. I feel very connected to her without really knowing at all anything about her besides what you just said or what she looks like. Carissa Moore, when you strap that little strap onto your ankle, I don't care if you're goofy footed or regular footed.

You have both of these goofs in your corner. Two goofy-footed podcast hosts want you to take home the gold for more than anything, sister. And we're going to be watching and willing your victory. Thank you. There are several other new events that come out. We'll just run through them quickly before we give our middles out. There's women's bantamweight added in boxing to get closer to parity among genders and men's light heavyweight.

heavyweight has been dropped. Men's and women's extreme K1 for the canoe slalom. Am I saying that right? Slalom. Slalom. Mixed team skeet for shooting. Skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet, skeet.

Thank you. Sport climbing reorganized into speed events, men and women, and combined bouldering and lead events rather than a single event comprising all three disciplines. I am so excited about this next one. There's mixed team 35 kilometer race walk. Do you know the race walk is a very competitive thing? Yes. But is it interesting to watch to you as a track, as a former track star?

As a former track star, let me tell you something. Yes, my best friend was a race walker.

And her name was Sam. And she was one of the best race walkers. And it's there's so much more to it than you think. And there's so much more to it that makes it difficult. Like one foot has to be on the ground at all times. And they're watching you the entire time to make sure that's the case. And like, it's a very technical thing. I mean, 35 kilometers long. So these people, the judges are focused up.

watching the ground, making sure one foot is on it at all times for a while. Yeah. I mean, it's actually really hard to not pick up your both feet when you're competitively moving. Like, as someone who ran a 436 mile... Wow!

I know that both my feet were off the ground during much of that. I could not have moved very quickly had I had my one foot on the ground at all times. All respect to these people. I wonder, at an Olympic race walker, what their mile time is race walking. I bet it's shockingly low. Of course. Of course it is. Can I say something? Yeah. I don't see myself as a b-boy, and that's your fantasy about me, but my fantasy about myself is that I would compete in the race walk. I'm a fast walker. You would be amazing. I'm

I'm telling you, Bowen Yang walking with a purpose is Olympic race walk material. And I'm very confident saying that. I'd put you up against any of these people. I think if you learned form, we would see the first ever Saturday Night Live cast member Olympic race walker. And that is your legacy, I think. That would be an amazing legacy. You're already like such an apple of NBC Universal's eye. If you went and competed in the race walk,

I don't know, Bowen. I think you could take over the world. Could be very cool. I would be so emotional on the sidewalk.

On the sidewalk. On the sidelines watching you racewalk. You'll be on the sidewalk. I'd be like wiping away tears like my sister is out there walking. Walking 35 kilometers. Well, overall, Matt, wouldn't you say that the Olympics are very open to new sports? Queer Olympics this year. The openness, the inclusivity. I'm loving it. Should we give it our medals?

Let's give out our medals. I would say bronze goes to surfing. Surfing in Tahiti is going to be bronze. It's not as new. I mean, it's a little bit new, and I love that we're so committed that we're actually going to cut all the way to Tahiti. But it gets bronze because, to be honest with you, we are really focused on how to make Paris a good experience. So that's cute for y'all. And I do kind of feel like, oh, it's a bummer they don't get to experience the opening ceremony, etc. But it's like...

all the best to them. It's just really giving bronze. Oh, no, I think they're going to be at the opening ceremony and then I think the surfing event is going to be later on. They're going to fly them out in the days afterwards. Really? Is that like tenable though? I mean, like, are you going to want to travel like that? Yeah, I don't know. I'm interested to hear more about this. There's many more episodes of the podcast, so we'll figure it out. I think Carissa Moore deserves to be at the opening ceremony on a boat.

No doubt that Carissa Moore deserves that. But is it practical? It's my only question. I guess Carissa would be the one to ask. I think Carissa is going to push for that. Where's her Olympic Village? I agree. I agree. I hope they build a tiny one in Tahiti. Yeah. Like an installation.

Yes. Silver medal, I think, is going to go to Artistic Swimming. I think that we've taken such positive steps forward. I think now we know the rules. We really know what to watch. I do think they could have really gotten the gold medal here had they allowed a length of competition that would include Taylor Swift's All Too Well. It's just, it's stopping me from really being excited. Yeah.

Yeah. There's still a lot of limitations that need to be undone for the full potential of artistic swimming to be unlocked. For such an open queer Olympics, it feels sad. And finally, I think we're going to give gold to breaking as the lone new sport.

This is huge. This is historic. And I think it'll really make a huge splash in Paris. And then it has the potential to make an even bigger impact in Los Angeles. Oh, LA breaking is going to go really wild. It's going to be very exciting. And can I say, I've not met B-Girl Sunny. I know Bowen has. I am rooting for B-Girl Sunny, as I'm sure you are. You guys would get along famously. Oh, I'm excited. Oh my God. She is one to root for and watch forever.

We have one question. We have one final question to ask each other after the break. And we're back. Matt, this is what I was trying to get at earlier. The Olympics are very open to new sports, as we've seen. They are an evolving body, an evolving event, an evolving...

I mean, this resembles nothing like the Greek games from antiquity. We've come a long way since ancient Greece. Absolutely. What sports do we want to see in the 2028 Summer Olympics in LA? We are an official NBC Olympics podcast. I think we get a say. Are there any activities we're really good at that we lobby for? I'm not good at this, but I would like to see hopscotch added to the games. I think that hopscotch...

is international, I think it would remind people of what it was like to be a child. And I think that what we're not seeing enough of is embracing of the inner child. Yes. I think that artistic swimming takes us closer because who among us can't remember Splish Splash taking a bath as a young kid and having fun in the water and sort of

you know, learning to express yourself under the water, like artistically, like in thinking, oh, I wish there was music underneath the surface. And now there is. I just I feel like we're moving in a really positive direction there in terms of reconnecting the inner child and like allowing the fantasy. We need hopscotch to be an Olympic sport. Bowen, what would you add to the Summer Olympics? Something laser based. Yeah, it could be laser tag, could be dodging lasers to steal a piece of art. Both.

Both. Olympic lasers. I think lasers should be an event. Yes. Okay, wait, that's really good. So like, it's almost like a triathlon where it's like the first room is a room where you have to make it through sort of Catherine Zeta-Jones and entrapment, like sort of get through like the lasers. Then you get to a laser tag moment where they give you a gun and you have to like make your way through a room. And then the last one is...

chasing a laser dot like a cat. Yeah. Or you, there's a hairy man on a table in front of you and you have to do a laser procedure on him. Oh my God. That's amazing. Every inch. You weren't thinking about it every way we could.

Make this man hairless. And we're checking every fold. A lot of hairy guys in France, too. We could have done this. Oh, my God. Not enough hairy guys in L.A. All these gay guys getting their self waxed. Getting their peaches defuzed. This has been...

Yet another episode of Two Guys, Five Rings. We are off to the races. This podcast is critically acclaimed. We are really capitalizing on the moment and we are delivering crucial Olympic commentary. Watch every moment of the 2024 Paris Olympics beginning July 26th on NBC and Peacock. And for the first time, you can stream the 2024 Paris Games on the iHeartRadio app. Oh, yeah.

Come on now. The future is now. That's me sort of beatboxing. Anyway, later. Bye.