Maha Abouelenein on How Small Actions Lead to Big Success EP 517
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Coming up next on Passion Struck. It wasn't what I do, John. It's how I did it. I created value for them. I played the long game. I tried to build a good reputation. I worked on building a network. I worked on introducing them to my network. Those are the things that are in this book, these rules, that if you practice them, it'll make a profound difference, not just on your business, but on yourself. Why?

I talk a lot about creating value for other people as like the 10 in my DNA. Some people are motivated by money. I'm motivated by creating value for other people. And one of the benefits of creating value for other people is it actually creates value for you. Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice

for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries and athletes. Now,

Let's go out there and become passion struck. Hey, passion struck fam. Welcome back to episode 517 of the Passion Struck Podcast. You, yes you, are the heartbeat of this community. And I am so grateful for your continued energy, passion, and a commitment to living an intentional life.

After a week, you show up ready to elevate your life, and that's what makes this movement so powerful. If this is your first time tuning in, welcome to the PassionStruck family. You've just joined a community that's all about igniting purpose and living boldly with intention. We are so excited to have you with us on this transformative journey. Before we dive into today's episode, let me quickly recap some incredible conversations from last week. I had the privilege of speaking with Diego Perez,

also known as Young Pueblo, about the transformative power of intention and self-healing. And then I sat down with Jessica Kriegel, who shared her expertise on building intentional workplace cultures that thrive. And in my solo episode, I opened up about my personal experience of losing everything during Hurricane Helene and what it taught me about resilience. If you haven't caught up on any of those yet, I highly encourage you to check them out. For those of you who want to dive even deeper into these insights, don't forget to

to sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter. Every week, I send out exclusive content, practical exercises, and tools to help you apply the lessons we discuss on the podcast to your own life. Head over to passionstruck.com and start living with more intention today. And if you're wondering where to begin with the podcast, we've made it super easy with our episode starter packs. With over 500 episodes, it can be overwhelming, I know. So we've curated playlists based on themes like leadership, mental health, and

personal growth. Check them out on Spotify or visit passionstruck.com/starterpacks to dive in. Now, let's talk about today's episode because we have an exceptional guest who embodies resilience, perseverance, and self-reliance, Maha Abou Eleni. Maha is a strategic communication and personal branding expert who has worked with global corporate giants, high growth startups, sports organizations, governments, and high net worth individuals to orchestrate transformative changes.

Her story is a powerful testament to the importance of mastering self-reliance, especially in today's fast-paced, unpredictable world. In today's episode, you're going to learn how to cultivate self-reliance, build your personal brand, and develop resilience in the face of adversity. Maha's insights from her new book, Seven Rules of Self-Reliance, will guide you through key practices like embracing a growth mindset, becoming a value creator, and managing your reputation in the digital age. Maha's personal story, growing up

as a brown girl in the 1970s in Minnesota, moving to Egypt at 27 and building a life from scratch shows us that challenges can be stepping stones towards success. She'll share practical advice on how to overcome obstacles, create your own opportunities, and thrive without waiting for permission from others. Whether you're launching a business, pivoting in your career, or simply seeking personal fulfillment,

This conversation will equip you with the tools to navigate today's rapidly changing world and take charge of your future. If you loved today's episode or any of the others I shared, we would so appreciate it if you shared your thoughts by giving us a five-star rating and review. Those reviews go such a long way into bringing more people into the Pass Instruct community. Now, let's dive into this transformative conversation.

with Maha Abu-Elanine. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.

It's one thing falling in love with a house, picturing yourself moving in and calling it home, and quite another navigating the world of price negotiating, mortgage lenders, and finding the budget that works best for you. An agent who's a Realtor can make understanding that world easier. Realtors have the expertise, access to proprietary data, and tools to help you get from imagining living somewhere to actually doing it. That's the kind of help we can provide. Because that's Realtor.

Who we are. Realtors are members of the National Association of Realtors. Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water? Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it, even in cold.

Butter? Yep. Chocolate ice cream? Sure thing. Barbecue sauce? Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide Pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new cold-zyme technology. Just remember, if it's gotta be clean, it's gotta be Tide.

Imagine what's possible when learning doesn't get in the way of life. At Capella University, our game-changing FlexPath learning format lets you set your own deadline so you can learn at a time and pace that works for you. It's an education you can tailor to your schedule. That means you don't have to put your life on hold to pursue your professional goals. Instead, enjoy learning your way and earn your degree without missing a beat. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at capella.edu.

I am so thrilled today to have Maha Abu-Ellenine on Passion Struck. Welcome, Maha. Thank you for having me, John. A pleasure is mine. Well, I wanted to start this out by asking you about your early life. And we're talking today with you from Minnesota, and that's where you grew up. Yep. What were some of the key challenges you faced growing up?

growing up in the 1970s in Minnesota? - I mean, first of all, I am 100% Egyptian. I'm born and raised in Mankato, Minnesota, a very small town south of the Twin Cities of Minneapolis and St. Paul. It's sort of like known as the home of Laura Ingalls Wilder and Little House on the Prairie. I'm brown, I'm diverse,

And Minnesota is, at the time, especially when I was born in 1969 in the 70s, really wasn't. Everyone in Minnesota's got blonde hair and blue eyes and very Swedish and German kind of descent here in Minnesota. So it was different. We didn't have the internet back in the day. So a lot of people knew very little about Egypt beyond the pyramids or camels, and

And so growing up as a couple of things challenging for me as a child growing up here, one, my parents were Egyptian, so they didn't really know a lot about American culture. They didn't know about slumber parties and sleepovers and high school proms and all the things that we go through a typical American rituals of growing up here.

And secondly, just being from a diverse culture, like I'm Muslim, so we fast and we have Ramadan and we have traditions. Now everybody knows what those things are because of the internet. But growing up, it was different. You didn't want to stand out. You definitely wanted to fit in. And later in my career, I ended up using that secret sauce of being different and making that actually the thing that was my kind of

magic in my business, the secret sauce that actually made me different with other people, which became a competitive advantage. But growing up, it was a very big, it was a different way to live and think because you didn't want to stand out when you were younger. You wanted to blend in.

I remember my first experience with someone from Egypt when was when I was at the Naval Academy. And for those who don't know it, at the Academy, we have foreign exchange students and we had one or two who were from Egypt. And one of them was an upper class who lived right across the hall from me when I was. And it was really interesting. The more I got to know him after that to learn about his customs and.

his traditions and how he was celebrating the events you were just talking about when we were together. Now it's common. Kyrie Irving plays for the NBA. He's always fasting during the playoffs or during the game. Everyone knows. I mean, everyone's so much more well-versed and aware and understand different cultures and traditions from Indian culture and Arab culture. I mean, everybody knows now, but I mean, back in the day, the internet didn't exist. So you only...

learned what you learned in history books. So there wasn't that much information at the time. I mean, we're such a globalized, connected world right now where everything is accessible and attainable. And it's fascinating. I love being able, especially even today, to see all my friends traveling around the world where they're on vacation. I'm seeing parts of the world I never would have visited, but I get to see it through their eyes. And I just feel like that's one of the beauties of the internet and globalization that's helped bring us closer together and helped us bridge that understanding.

Speaking of Egypt, I understand that when you were 27, you actually moved from Minnesota to Egypt to take care of your parents. What was that experience like? I mean, John, listen, like I was 27 years old, so young professional working. And my parents were like, we're going to move back to Egypt. My mom had suffered from multiple sclerosis. And so I moved back with them and I didn't really speak very good Arabic. I understood a little bit. My parents spoke a little bit at home, but it's basically like asking you to move to Egypt.

You need to find a job. You need to make friends. You need to restart and reset at an age where most people were moving out from living with their parents. I was doubling down, not just moving with them to Egypt, but moving in with them.

So I had to figure it out. I had to rely on myself to find the solutions of how I'm going to build a new life in a new country, which many people go through that. Many people go through having to move to a new city, to make new friends, to find a professional career. And that's what I did. I ended up like trying to find a job working with like Coca-Cola, P&G, Unilever, like an American multinational abroad, and ended up working for a local businessman who was a

very tech savvy, tech forward gentleman. And he wanted to launch mobile networks and internet service providers, internet in Egypt and throughout the Middle East and North Africa. So I got to be on the forefront of that process. I joined him as an office manager, and then I ended up working my way up in the ranks in the company and really built a wonderful relationship, not just with him, but it was my kind of learning ground of like how to put your head down, put in the work,

Make the effort. Don't focus on who's giving you the praise, but focus on delivering good results. And hopefully you'll get to where you want to go if you put in the effort.

Well, I'm going to go back to that story of you being an office manager in a little bit, but I wanted to jump to your parents again, because in the beginning of the book, which we're going to be talking about today, I'm going to hold it up right here. Seven rules of self-reliance. Your father is the one who you credit for emphasizing the importance of self-reliance. How did he...

help you to understand the importance of building yourself up and letting your reputation speak for itself? I mean, it's tied a little bit to that story with Egypt, right? So I come from a family of educators, like learning is very important to us and relying on yourself to have the knowledge. There's many things, my father told me, there's many things people can take away from you, but they can't take away what you know.

What you know is a competitive advantage for you personally and professionally. So have skills. He kept on telling me, put your head down and let the work speak for itself. Don't worry about getting credit for it. Don't worry about what the results will be. If you stay low, which is one of the rules of the book, and keep moving, you will have the success and the validation you need to keep going forward and that confidence.

So when I got offered this job as an office manager, I thought it was beneath me. I thought I have a graduate degree. I come from America. I'm like, I have skills. I have an education. Being a secretary, I thought wasn't something I was qualified to do. I thought I could do more and I could be better than that. And so my father gave me the advice. He's, listen, you just moved to Egypt. You don't know anybody. You don't know anything.

You don't know how people work. You don't know how business is under done here differently than U.S. You haven't built a network. You don't have any relationships. So he basically said, put your head down.

put in the effort, show him and prove to him that you can do more. Start adding value to him, start adding value to his organization, and eventually your hard work will pay off. But you have to put in the effort first. Don't ask for something without putting in the effort. Don't ask for something without learning first. And that was great advice. I don't know enough to ask for what job I should have until I understand the business, understand the challenges the businesses face.

Where could I bring the most value for this company? Where could I show my secret sauce? Where can I become invaluable to this person? How can I be indispensable to this person? And so that was the advice he gave me. That was the premise for relying on yourself. Like you have the tools. You just have to have the confidence and the belief in yourself that you're going to figure it out.

As I was reading the book, I saw that there were a ton of parallels between my recent book, Passion Struck, and the things I really like to talk about. And one of those was the importance that you write about of small things lead to big things. And to me, one of the things people often think about is they tend to organize their life around the big moments, and they don't realize that it's the small moments that really manifest

into the success that we have in the big moments. And you write, "Change doesn't come in big waves. It comes from daily consistency and the regular chipping away at our goal." I was hoping you could go a little bit deeper into this and maybe tell a story of how this philosophy has influenced your life and success.

Yeah, I mean, it's small things lead to big things can apply to anything that we're doing today. Right, John. So think about if you want to lose weight, you're not going to lose 20 pounds overnight. You need to do small things every single day and do it consistently. Getting your sleep, reducing your stress, moving more, eating the right foods. Those are the small things that can lead to big things. Building a relationship with someone.

I want to first get to know you. And then I want to figure out how to serve you. And then I want to figure out how to introduce you to somebody else. You never know how a small thing can lead to a big thing. Let me tell you a story, an example. I met Matt Higgins, the author of Burn the Boats and chairman of RSC Ventures. He's a Shark Tank on the show and has this class at Harvard that he teaches called Moving Beyond Direct-to-Consumer. And I met Matt Higgins at an event three years ago.

And it was a small thing. It just really was an introduction. We exchanged numbers, that type of thing. But Matt knew that I do a lot of business in Dubai and I used to live in Dubai. I was head of communications for Google out of Dubai. I launched Netflix in the Middle East in Dubai. And he knew that I worked with the government and the ruler of Dubai. So I had a lot of experience and relationships in that market.

And so it was a small thing where we met each other and networked. But then he reached out to me and said, hey, I'm thinking about a business opportunity that I business idea that I'd like to explore in Dubai, but I've never been there. And so I said, why don't we have lunch so I can tell you a little bit more about the Middle East and how they work and we can get to know each other. And I read his book. So I had more context about him. We had lunch. And then he's OK. One day we're going to get on this trip and we'll go to the Middle East.

Then fast forward several months later, he said, let's go. So I worked with him very diligently to plan a trip. What is his business needs? Who should he talk to? What would bring value to other people that he could meet with? Should I organize a dinner with some business leaders so he can learn firsthand from them? What's business like? What are the opportunities? Where's the market going? What are the challenges business people face by doing business here if they come in from the US? Anyways, very long story short, we organized a trip for Matt.

And during that trip, I got an extraordinary amount of time to learn about how he works, how he operates, what he values, what he doesn't value. And I built a relationship with him over time.

So fast forward, we come back to the US. Now we're doing business together. I work with him formally. We've worked on a bunch of different projects. But just that small thing of offering value of, hey, if you ever want to go to Dubai, let me know if we can do something together. I'd love to show you can lead to big things, can lead to a business opportunity. But I don't think short term. I didn't think I'm doing this to get this. This happened over the span of three years.

of keeping a relationship, making sure that I'm serving him, making sure if I find something interesting about Dubai, an article, forwarding it to him. Those are the small things that can lead to big things. Yeah. What's amazed me about Matt and for those who aren't familiar with them, this book, Burn the Boats is absolutely a book you want to read. It's a fabulous book. And I think he's now sold over a quarter million copies of it, if not more. But Matt,

is so approachable. He's one of the nicest people I've ever met. He is one of those who will take the shirt off his back and give it to you. Just such a humble and

just a caring person. I hope those are the attributes you saw him in as well. A hundred percent. And he's very genuine. He's also very good at, and very intuitive to reading a room and understanding how to deal with different cultures and listening and asking questions and not having your own assumptions about how something is or how they work. And I really love that about him. And it's great. I'm a huge fan of him. After that trip, I was like, okay, I really learned so much for him. And I really loved it.

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Well, speaking of his story, it reminded me of something else that you talk about in this chapter, which is rewards come to those who don't actively seek them. And I thought you gave a great example here. If you're an actor, but your sole focus is receiving an Academy Award, you overlook the day-to-day process. You're so focused on the prize that you may not do the things that will help you achieve it. And I think this is so important because like you, I just launched a book and-

The prize are those things that we all aspire for. We want to be a bestseller. We want to win awards. We want people to read it. But when that becomes your sole focus, you're setting yourself up for really a lot of potential disappointment if you don't achieve those things. And I've talked to Matt about this, and I've really taken upon his opinion, which is you've really got to look at this from a long play, not a short play.

Maybe you can talk more about this principle and its importance. I think just being a long-term player is not something that we're good at or something that we're used to. So in thinking about being a long-term player, it's actually one of the rules in the book is we live in a very now society. We want things now, transactions now. We want to tap and pay to go. We want to download the whole episode. We don't want to wait for three seconds for a video to load.

But taking the long term is really what's going to make a difference for a lot of the people, especially entrepreneurs who are listening to this show today, to understand why does it matter to be playing the long term game? So think about your team. For example, I always say people over profit. Think about what's going to put you if there's a reputational risk to your business to do something that might have a great financial reward. It might really help your profitability.

but it might risk your reputation or kill your team because it's just going to be too much work or too taxing on the culture. You have to walk away from it. So understanding the importance of when to play the long game, when to be patient about situations that you're in and when to just take a step back and not force a situation because you think that's going to be the thing that's going to make the difference for your business.

And I just wanted to give the audience an opportunity. If you want to go even deeper on this, I did a great episode with Dori Clark on her book, The Long Game, which is a great episode and a great book as well. I'm going to go listen to that.

I often jump times. Sometimes John, like people tell me they're like, Maha, you're making, I call it what I call making deposits and other people's trust trust bank. I want to do a good deed. I want to create value. I want to serve people. I want to help people that in the event that in the dent that I want to make a withdrawal a year from now, six months from now, several years from now, I can do that. Or I just want to have good deposits and other people's trust bank because that builds my reputation.

That shows I consistently show up for people. That shows that I'm really here to help people. Honestly, the rules that I put in this book, I've been practicing my whole life. And when I thought about my career, head of communications at Google, did the communications for Netflix, do the communications for Gary Vee, do the communications for Jim Quick. It wasn't what I do, John, it's how I did it.

It's I created value for them. I thought I played the long game. I tried to build a good reputation. I worked on building a network. I worked on introducing them to my network. Those are the things that are in this book, these rules, that if you practice them, it'll make a profound difference, not just on your business, but on yourself.

Because one of the things, sorry, just going here. But one of the things that I talk a lot about creating value for other people is like the tenant, my DNA. Some people are motivated by money. I'm motivated by creating value for other people. And one of the benefits of creating value for other people is it actually creates value for you. So when I'm creating value for Matt Higgins or Gary Vee or Google or all these companies, I'm getting the experience.

I'm getting a lot from it. It's not just that they're winning. I'm also gaining from it. And I feel like the amount of satisfaction that you get from creating value for others is an unparalleled feeling. Like I didn't feel like I'd feel good just giving, giving, but when I'm creating value, when I'm actually doing something that has meaning, that's when it becomes valuable for you.

I love this. And this is the chapter I was going to go to next. And you start it with an amazing quote by Pablo Picasso, which I'd never heard before, but I'm going to read it because I thought it was so inspirational. The meaning of life is to find your gift. The purpose of life is to give it away. And this so coincides.

with a couple interviews that I've done on the show, one with Dacher Keltner, which I've already released, and another one recently that I did with a Stanford professor, now that I can't remember his name, Jamil Zaki. And both of them talked to me about their studies on compassion and kindness, and that there's this thing Dacher Keltner talks about, which is moral beauty. And he wrote this great book on awe. And what he wrote in it is,

The greatest opportunity that we have to practice regular moments of awe in our life is through moral beauty. And this is really when we give our gifts away to others. Because when we see acts of kindness or we give them, that is when we feel most inspiration in ourselves. So I love that quote and it's tie into that.

That's what I mean about when you create value for others, you ultimately create value for yourself because you got the experience, you got the learning, you got the relationship, you achieved something for somebody else. That's extraordinarily important. We have to have a sense of satisfaction when we work.

Otherwise, it doesn't feel good, right? Like it doesn't feel good to do things that are just serving the other person. You also need to be learning. You also need to be gaining. You also need to be getting something out of that experience. And I feel like when you focus on

I talk a lot about how hustle culture is out, value culture is in. When you think about, let me work on things that have meaning. Don't do a lot of things, do a few things and do them well. Not just in your day and how you approach your to-do list, but in the work you do for others. It's not quantity over quantity. People, even when we're working, our careers are no longer linear where the days of us working at one company for 40 years are over.

Because we want to have a mix of challenges and ideas and experiences and skills. And that goes hand in hand with what we talk about when creating value.

Like, I'm very good at doing this, but what if I can bring value in another area? I'm going to learn and they're going to gain. So really think about what are the things you can do today to add value for others? Because there's something that you have a superpower in that you just need to put your finger on and say, hey, if I take a step back and I think, what are the things that I consistently do?

I'm very good at problem solving. I'm very good at decision making. I'm good at people issues. I'm really good at writing. I'm really good at telling stories. I'm really good at solving complex problems or breaking down a project. That's a secret sauce. That's the value. And continue to deliver that for people that you work with or people that you want to work with.

And I'm going to jump right into one of the superpowers that you write about in the book that you possess. You say, I'm proud to say that I'm American and you're Egyptian, which has come across very much throughout this interview. And you say that you flow through each seamlessly understanding how each one thinks the values of the people within them and how to leverage this.

So one of the ways you leverage this is you brought up Gary Vaynerchuk recently, and thank you and your organization for helping me to have him on my podcast. That was absolutely a bucket list item for me. But you described Gary as the way that I've always seen him or have perceived him as this loud person who is going to be

right out there engaging with other people. But you said that when you took him to the Middle East, you saw a different version of Gary. And I was hoping you could potentially use your superpower and how this helped you help navigate

Gary's trip? It wasn't actually a different version of him. It was basically when you go to different cultures or you go into different rooms, how intuitive are you at reading the room, understanding when to lean in and when to zoom out, right? So that's what I took Gary to Dubai. There's a seven hour vlog on his YouTube channel about our first trip together to the Middle East. And he was just amazing.

Honestly, I tell a story in the book about how that came about and how we went together. But I feel like if you have good, you're self-aware and Gary talks a lot about self-awareness, like how to lean into the culture, what questions to ask, how to be mindful and respectful of other people. And he hit that out of the park. Like generally, if you see Gary on social media, he's loud and he's talking. When he gets into a room in a business setting, it's a

completely different operation. And I feel it was an extraordinary trip, super fun. I do encourage you to go check it out on YouTube. It was like seven hours. It was the longest vlog he put up at the time on YouTube. And it's just working with Gary is something I had basically never

been watching him, following him on Instagram and watched a lot of his videos. And he always talks about the art of the DM and texting somebody. And I had DM somebody that was working with him and we went on this trip together and the stories in the book. But I feel if you

want to work with someone, especially someone like Gary Vee, big company, a thousand employees. He's a machine himself on his social media. You have to think what can I do to bring value to him? Like he's smart, he's powerful. He has access to people, resources, networks,

So I had to think, what is the lane I could be in where I could add the most value to someone like him? Is it educating him or bringing him to the Middle East? Is it something else? If you want to work with someone like a Gary Vee or somebody like a Jim Quick, you have to figure out what's the secret sauce? What is the thing where I can add value in order to get the answer to that question? You need to follow them. You need to learn about the business.

You need to be an active listener. You need to ask questions. Don't just walk in with your assumptions on what they want to know or what you think they need. Try to listen and study and do your homework and do your research. I think those are all great points. And another point that I thought was so important in this chapter is

is this idea that you write about that the most financially lucrative business deals you've ever done have been the direct result of doing work for free. And I want to just explain this for a second. I'm not sure if you know who Rory Vaden is. Yes. But Rory is a good friend of mine. And I remember I was having a talk with him one time, a coaching session. And he said to me as I was talking to him about the podcast I'm doing and the fact that it's free information, he looked at me and he said, John,

what you're doing is one of the most vital things you can do. What people don't understand is people don't pay for information. They pay for the application of that information into their life. And so we said, by you doing this service of giving away so much information, you are helping people, but

Along the way, they're going to come back to you because they're going to want to understand how they can apply this in their lives. And I've wanted to use that maybe as a lead in for you to explain this in more detail. I mean, a lot of people struggle with should they work for free or not? And so here's the quick answer. If it gives you an there's two ways that you can approach work. Does it give you an opportunity to learn or does it give you an opportunity to learn? Sometimes the opportunity gives you both.

But sometimes I do something for free if I'm going to get an opportunity to learn from that person, learn from that industry, learn from that experience, learn from that company, learn from that leader, learn from that CEO. So if you have a chance to learn something and you're going to have to pay the price of not getting paid for it because it's extraordinary access or opportunity, you should do it. Now, you can't work for free for everybody because we have livelihoods, we have jobs, but you need to make that calculated risk.

Is this going to give me an opportunity to learn something? Is this going to open me to a new network? Is this going to provide me access to information I don't have? And this is the quickest way I can get to it. Is this going to lead to something else? If I do this work for this person for free, is that going to give me a stepping stone to do the next thing or the thing after that I really want to do? That's why I evaluated it. Like I really wanted to work with Gary. I worked for him.

I was going to say for like more than a year for free because I wanted to learn about his business. How does he operate? What does he value? What does he care about? He likes, he values learning from osmosis. So spending time by just being around him so he can see how do you interact with his team? How do you interact with others? That culture is so, so, so important to him. And once I understood that, then I leaned into doing what he likes. He likes to spend time with someone before he does business with them.

He likes to observe how somebody operates before he does business with them. And once I got that, then I leaned into it and I was all in.

And then we ended up doing business together, but I had, I wanted to show a, my good intentions with him too. I did work for free for quite a long time, just because I was living in Dubai and he was living in New York. So we couldn't see each other that often. So that was also a factor in the length of time of doing business together. But I feel like if you get an opportunity to learn, you should forego the money because that's, what's going to be important that you can use for the next stage.

You know, I just wanted to highlight this through one more example that you have in the book. And you say that a way you do this is looking at a layer beneath the surface. And you talk about the NBA All-Star Weekend when you use this phrase. And I thought this was really fascinating. Could you share this story? So I was at the NBA All-Star Game. And a part of going to that event is that you want to meet media. You want to meet other clients. You want to meet other brands. And so...

So I had learned that there was going to be a big media breakfast. Gayle King, who's the host of CBS Mornings News, told me she's going to be speaking on stage with Adam Silver at this media breakfast. I was like, what's the media breakfast? I work in the media industry. I should try to figure out what it is. So I found out more information, did some research, relied on myself, dug deep to try to get all the details. I found out it's a breakfast where a lot of journalists attend and a lot of CEOs attended.

But it's ticketed. So you need a ticket to get in. Where do I get a ticket from? How is the seating work? Is there hierarchy? Are there VIP tables or is it open seating? How does it work? So I had to figure out all the details. And then I thought I got it. I had a contact from someone at ESPN who could got me into tickets. I got two tickets for me and Gary to attend. But then this is what I try to do to create value.

Gary is going to be going for the first time. I'm actually going to be going for the first time. So I don't know what to expect. So I went super early to see who's there and how does the layout work? And then I said, if I want to create value, this, what John was saying about going a layer beneath,

Good for him to attend, but wouldn't it be great if he could meet good people at that event? So I took the ability or took the next step to try to curate a table so that we can meet other like-minded people and we can actually bring value to other people. So I saw Spike Lee walk in. Gary knows Spike Lee from the NBA games. They're friends. They know each other.

And so I thought, great, let's bring Spike Lee to sit with us at our table. So then we knew somebody at the table that was familiar that we see at the NBA All-Star Weekend. That'd be huge. He was with his son.

Then I saw the new CEO, the new incoming, just named the day before CEO of YouTube. And I know for sure Gary had met him and I had only met him the day before. And I wasn't sure if anyone else at the table had met him. So I also invited him to come and sit at the table. And then Gail King's son was there. So he came and sat. But what I did was when going beneath a layer beneath is if you can create value for people just by introducing them to other people, that's a really smart way to be a value creator for somebody else.

and to think through the next step and the next step of how you can do that. So that's a small example of how all I did was something simple, learn about an event, did the research to find out what it is, how does it work, got access through a favor to a ticket

and then curated a table so that I can create relationships. Since you were only there for the breakfast in and out, that table is going to be key to building a relationship and creating a dynamic or even just opening the opportunity. That's a small thing, curating a table that could probably lead to big things. Thank you so much for going into that. I have to go from there to another sport that I became...

very interested in when I used to live in North Carolina. When I was a senior executive at Lowe's, I was extremely involved in NASCAR. Love, love, love. I knew that's where you're going to go with this. In fact, I have a General Mills story to share. So not only is Lowe's based in NASCAR country, it's actually based in Mooresville, which when people think of

North Carolina, they think of more Concord where the racetrack is, but the vast majority of the drivers and the crew chiefs, et cetera, live right on Lake Norman, which is where I lived. In fact, right across the street from me was Jimmy Johnson, Matt Kensick,

Elliot Sadler and a bunch of other ones. And I've met Mark Martin, who you write about in the book as well. But my next door neighbor, Pete Merkel, was the agent for Dale Jr. And his wife worked for General Mills and she had worked for them for 20 years.

And they would always tell me this incredible relationships that NASCAR had developed with General Mills. And to hear you were at the epicenter of that was just really fascinating. I was actually at the start of that. Actually, it was funny because in the grocery business, in retail supermarkets, the end caps are like the coveted space in any grocery store.

And so they have a lot of presence of grocery. General Mills has a lot of presence in grocery stores throughout the country, but they realized that the fans in the Southeast were really into sports, into NASCAR and race car driving. And so they're like, we need to figure out how to get closer to the consumer and to love the things that they love.

And so they're like, Maha, go figure it out. And I was like, what do I know about motorsports? I know nothing about motorsports, but I do know a friend who works in motorsports. So I said, Kevin, I'd like to go figure this out. And he's okay. Come to Daytona 500 was my first race.

And I got to learn all about how does the race work? What do the drivers do? How can brands participate? How do the fans participate? What are the ways that you can engage with consumers? What are the touch points from the ticketing to the tailgating to the experience in the stands? What are the ways that a brand can be involved and get closer to the consumer?

And so I got hooked. I went to that first race. I got in the pit. I saw how they changed the tires. I got to go to the part where the trailers, where the drivers hang out. Like I was hooked and we ended up doing a deal to get Mark Martin to be the very first car that General Mills put into motorsports. It was the number six Bugles car. I actually think I have a

pick it somewhere in my office here, that car. And then now they have a Cheerios car. They have much more than just Bugles, but I got hooked and I love motor sports and I got to meet so many amazing, I mean, Roush racing. And I got to meet some of the families and some of the drivers and just a great experience. But it was about like, if you don't know something,

Rely on yourself to go figure it out, do the homework, put in the effort, try to find the information that you need. And if you don't have it, ask someone who does. And that's exactly what I did.

I love that story, Maha. And I can't believe as I was going through the book and researching you, how many people... I'm going to stay on this Lowe's story just for a second. So when I was at Lowe's, I had many different jobs. I came in and was the chief information security officer and head of the operations. But then they put me in this position where I was the head of all application development in the company. Oh, wow. And the interesting thing

from now, from back then till today is back then the whole company was powered by technology, but the CEO would often say, we're not a technology company, we're a retailer. Now, if you talk to their current CEO, he says they're a technology company. But when I was there, and this is where the tie-in is going to be, we would do all our development in waterfall and it was costing us so many opportunities. I remember one day the head of strategy

And I were having a conversation when I first got this job and he said, John, you guys are absolutely amazing at delivering solutions that hold no value by the time they're delivered. Great. That's wonderful to hear. So I decided to start bringing agile development into the company. And I remember...

approaching a peer of mine who was the biggest doubter of IT in the entire organization. And I thought, if I can get this guy a believer, everyone's going to become a believer. And so we started doing sprints with his group. He and I both actively engaged and it completely transformed his opinion of us. And that agile development took fire. Where I'm going with this is part of agile development is a sprint.

Yes. Yeah, you got to sprint for President Obama. And I thought this was an awesome story. And I was hoping you could talk about it. There's a sidebar story in the book that talks about sprinting for Obama. I was living in Dubai at the time.

And I had been living in the region for the Middle East region for a long time. So I know about communications. I know about storytelling. Anytime a big celebrity or CEO would come to the Middle East, like they would call me and I would help them figure out how to communicate and how to navigate and who to meet with. So I was very well connected and entrenched in the local market to say, I mean, I lived in the Egypt and Dubai for 23 years before I moved back during the pandemic. And when I was there,

President Obama wanted to have a group of people. It was his first time ever doing it, creating a sprint team and a sprint team with six people from different sectors, different walks of life that come together to work on a problem.

And it's almost like a class. They stick us together in a room. And the first week they brief us on the problem. The second week we meet different people that could help us get the understanding about the problem. And then we go work on it. And the third week is we have to deliver the results of how we would address the problem.

Well, what was the problem? The problem was solving counterterrorism communication strategies, of which I know nothing about. Let me be very clear. I am not a counterterrorism communication strategist by any means. But the reason I was in the room is I understood the culture and I understood the media and I understood the people.

And I was the only one in that room that knew those things about the Middle East. Everyone else in the room were somebody who had experience in doing fringe campaigns, someone who was a branding expert, someone who was a news expert, somebody who was a lobbyist and a political kind of apparatus, kind of career person. So they brought in a mix of different people and told them, you need to go through this sprint and you go through all the stages of teamwork.

forming, storming, norming, performing, like all the things that like, we don't know each other. How are we going to work together? Whose opinions are going to override the others? How are we going to get through this? Are we going to work in pockets or teams? Are we going to attack each other? I mean, the whole process was like, like I'm saying, it was like a class. It was like we were put in, what did they call those escape rooms where they put you in an escape room to solve a problem and

Which ended up being, the results of our work ended up being like an executive order that President Obama put into place. He liked our ideas. And then President Trump nullified it. But it was a great experience, to say the least. So I'm going to jump from one famous person to another. So at the time we're recording this, Taylor Swift is having one of the biggest tours of all time. Okay, I love this. All righty.

I'm going here because we're filming this in the middle of the Olympics and Kelly Clarkson and Peyton Manning are catching some grief for doing the opening ceremony, but I love Kelly Clarkson and I'm

She gave some great advice to Taylor Swift that goes into your concept that you've got a choice in life to make. Are you going to be a waiter or a creator? Can you use Taylor's story to describe this? So first of all, I'm a big Swifty. Let's just be clear about that. But there's a chapter in the book and I really want everyone, this is actually my favorite chapter in the entire book. It's called Don't Be a Waiter, Be a Creator.

So instead of waiting for permission from others or waiting for someone, a boss, to give you that project that's going to make you a rock star or waiting for a big client that's going to just walk in your door if you're an entrepreneur, I want you to start creating the opportunities you want to see in your life. You are one decision away from doing that. And you have the power to do it.

So Taylor Swift did the ultimate don't be a waiter move and created her own opportunities when she decided to rerecord all of her original music after Scooter Braun took her library and bought it from her and didn't give a chance for her to buy her own music back when it came on the market.

So by not waiting for the industry to change the rules or not waiting for the record or recording labels to actually give her permission to buy it back, she decided to do the ultimate thing and rerecord her music. And that's advice that Kelly Clarkson gave her to do. She said, you know what you can do? You can just create your music all over again and not wait for the industry to change how it works.

or not wait for someone to sell your, to put your library up for sale for you to buy it back. So what she redid is she re-recorded everything. And that's why you see everything on Spotify or Apple Music or in her socials that says Taylor's version in parentheses.

That's the version that she re-recorded that she actually owns the right to it. Imagine writing a book, John, and you not owning the rights to your own book. That's essentially what she was doing. Like she was making sure that she owns the rights to her work and that she has it. And that's a very much a don't be a waiter kind of mentality of don't wait for people to give you either permission or give you those opportunities. Go out and create them yourself.

And they can be big or small. They don't have to be life-changing, but they can be an opportunity. It's like, I want an opportunity to attend this event. I want the opportunity to learn this skill. I want the opportunity to listen to the speaker. Don't wait for someone to invite you. Go create that opportunity.

So where I'm going to go next is the chapter six, which is on your rule five. Think of your reputation as currency. Yes. And you start this out talking about Abraham Lincoln, who said, reputation is like fine china. Once broken, it's very hard to repair. And when I was thinking of this chapter, I was thinking of Iron Man, meaning when you think back upon the actor who portrays Iron Man's career, he's

He almost had a point in time where he self-sabotaged himself into oblivion, and then he was able to build it back. But the whole point here is we don't think of our reputation as much as we should. No. John, your name is the only thing you actually own. What are you doing to protect it?

So when I say treat your reputation like a currency, I want you to treat it like money. It's very valuable. How do you increase the value? How do you grow it? How do you build it? How do you nurture it? You should be waking up every day thinking about your name, your reputation, how to build it and how to protect it.

Your personal brand is the same word as reputation. Personal brand equals reputation. So when people talk about their personal brand, they're like, oh, I don't want to be a social media influencer. I don't have to be a personal brand. I'm like, if you have a social media account, you do. If you live in real life and interact with people, that's your reputation. Your reputation is not just what you do online on social media.

It's more important what you do offline. How do you treat your customers? How do you treat the barista? How do you treat your team? How do you treat other people? That's what makes up your reputation. Is she kind? Is she generous? Is she giving? Is she thoughtful? Is she intentional?

Is she supportive? Is she reliant? Is she loyal? That's your reputation. So when I think about reputation, it's how you want to show up in the world at work with your friends, with your family, in your community and be intentional about it. So your personal brand or your reputation is made up of three things.

The skills, your experience, and your personality. What do you want people to know? Do you want other people to define that for you? Or should you define it? So you have a lot of control over what you say and how you say it. So make sure you're the one putting proactively what you want people to know about you. You know this, John. Everybody, when you meet somebody new, they'll Google you or they'll look up your LinkedIn or they'll look you up on Instagram. Who is she? What does she do? What does she post about? Who does she know?

So I want people to be intentional about it. Think about what do I need to put forward for myself? Because I might get a better job opportunity. I might get a better business lead from it. I might get an opportunity to do something or go somewhere that I didn't know I could do. And I feel like you just think about it. Just spend time thinking about it. How much time do you guys spend a day thinking about your reputation?

And what? It's the most valuable thing you own. You could have the best product. You could have the best service. You can have the best supply chain. You can have the best marketing campaigns, the best social media. But if you don't have a good reputation, no one will work with you and no one will befriend you. It's just facts. So think about it.

Interesting to me in the book, you highlight this story where you worked for a large company and the CEO said that his people never talked to the media. They never talked to anyone. So there's no reason to really educate them about the mission and their core role in playing in it.

For me, I had this experience when I was at Lowe's who wanted nothing to do with us having any involvement with the media. And then when I went to Dell, it was the complete opposite where they saw that their reputation was an extension of their employees. But neither one wanted me to have my own personal brand. They wanted me to be a brand of the company. And when I look back and when I try to advocate to people I talk to now is that was a big mistake because as you were just saying,

If you're going on a sales call, people are researching you. If you are going to a job interview, they're doing tons of research on who you are through your social channels. All of this matters and you have the opportunity, whether you're working for another company or yourself,

to build a side profile of who you are and what you stand for outside of that company. Let's talk about that for a minute. Cause a lot of people think, well, if I build my personal brand, my employer is going to think I'm leaving my job or it's threatening them, or I shouldn't build my personal brand. If I work at a company that's wrong. Okay. So first of all, your employer wants you to have a good reputation and a good name.

And if you, your name and your title are synonymous with one another, that's going to help the company. It shows that maybe you were going to talk about how much you like working for that company or some of the special things about being an employee. That's being a good brand ambassador.

So there's two things. If you want to build a personal brand outside of your day job and you want your manager to know you love your day job, you're not trying to build a side hustle or a business that threatens them. That's okay. And you can do it. Just make sure you're very clear about what are you talking about in your personal brand? If I work in finance during the day,

But I want my personal brand to be about my photography or my cake business or my yoga, passion for yoga or meditation. That's okay. It's what you want people to know about you in the world.

If you want your personal brand to be about what you actually do in your company and your job, be a good ambassador for your business. Your title and your name, they go hand in hand with each other. So making sure that you are strong because they're like, oh, she has her own relationships. She's bringing value to the company because she's bringing relationships into us.

She's helping us get into new areas of opportunities of communities and work. So there's a way to do it. I explain it in the book. If you want to build your personal brand as an employee, I tell you how. And if you want to build your personal brand as an entrepreneur, I tell you how. They are not mutually exclusive, but there's different ways to do it for each target audience.

And I wanted to close on the topic of rule number seven, which is live with no regrets. But I'm going to ask you this in a little bit different way.

I did a lot of research around this whole topic and found some by this psychologist named Tom Gilovich, who's out of Cornell, who studied people in the third trimester of their life. And what he found was that 76% of all the people he evaluated all had the same regret. And it wasn't the mistakes that we made in life. It was not pursuing the what ifs or the should haves that lead to a fulfilling life.

Maybe through that lens, can you talk about the premise of this chapter? I have had a, both my mother and my father were very sick. So my mother had multiple sclerosis for 22 years. My dad had ALS, which is Lou Gehrig's disease for two years until he got it and passed away very quickly thereafter getting the disease. And

I could have regretted a lot of things, the cards that I was dealt, having two sick parents, moving to the Middle East, not speaking the language, living overseas for 23 years. But I didn't. That's my story. That's the things that made me who I am. That's how I learned about self-reliance. That's how I was able to work with all these important people. That's how I was able to be on the forefront of technology when the internet launched and mobiles launched and Web3 launched and blockchain launched.

I put in the work, I put in the effort and the things that might be difficult. I did not have an easy journey at all. I was caretaking for two very sick people and they were my parents and I wanted to let them live a life with dignity and to take care of them in a way that I could go to bed at night knowing I was a good daughter and I did the right thing. And I worked hard to build my career and to build my name. And so I don't have any regrets.

I don't have any regrets about any of it because even though I turned those struggles into my strengths and I turned those setbacks into comebacks. And I talk a lot about this as the last chapter of the book because I want self-reliance to be a tool about empowering other people.

It's not about being independent. It's about believing yourself. It's about having the confidence. Like we live in a world where we're competing with other people from around the world because of remote working. There's AI, there's layoffs, there's challenges in the market. What do we need to actually rely on ourselves to be powerful and to be valuable for other people?

And that's what this book is about. And I ended on no regrets because I want people to not have regrets. You can reinvent yourself at any age. You can learn anything. The internet is for free. Information is for free. Learning from people is for free. And I feel so empowered and inspired that I really wanted to share these rules and I feel they're going to help a lot of people.

So I think that is an absolute great place for us to end this. And I wanted to highlight the last quote from that chapter in your book, which is from Michael Jordan, who says, don't be afraid to fail. Be afraid not to try. Maha, where's the best place that people can learn more about you?

So you can go to my website, which is myfirstnamelastname.com. Hopefully you can put it up on the screen and put it in the show notes and you can follow me on Instagram. I have a newsletter. I'd love them to join. I do a lot of training and masterclasses for free on my Facebook group called The Seven Rules. So I'd love people to connect with me and enjoy the book. Well, Maha, thank you so much for joining us today on Passion Strike.

Thank you, John. Wow. What an inspiring conversation with Maha Abu-Ellenine. Her journey of resilience, self-reliance, and creating opportunities in the face of adversity is something we can all learn from. Whether you're looking to build a personal brand, pivot your career, or simply navigate life's challenges, Maha's insights provide a powerful roadmap for success. One of the key takeaways from today's episode is that self-reliance isn't just about surviving. It's about thriving and creating your own path, no matter the obstacles.

so i want to leave you with this what's one lesson from maha's story that you'll take away with you today how can you start embracing self-reliance adaptability and courage in your life reflect on that and remember you have the power to create the life you want if today's episode resonated with you i'd love to hear your thoughts please take a moment to leave us a five star rating and

and review. It helps us continue bringing these powerful conversations to you. And if you know someone who could benefit from Maha's message, please share this episode with them. Sometimes a single story can spark a life-changing transformation. You can find links to everything we discussed today, including Maha's book, Seven Rules of Self-Reliance, in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Videos of this episode are also available on YouTube at John R. Miles and our Clips channel at PassionStruckClips.

And don't forget to check out our sponsors and deals at passionstruck.com slash deals. Please consider supporting those who support the show. Before we close, I want to remind you that beyond hosting the podcast, I am passionate about sharing these insights.

with organizations and teams through speaking engagements. If today's conversation sparks something in you and you think my message could inspire your company, head over to johnrmiles.com slash speaking to learn more. Let's work together to create intentional change and ignite growth. And I also wanted to give you a preview of my next episode where I'm sitting down with the incredible Topaz Adizes. We'll be diving deep into leadership, creativity, and the power of storytelling. You won't want to miss it. I don't interview the people, they interview each other.

I just present the questions. So I'm watching, witnessing these conversations that I'd never have be privy to otherwise. Right. And what that has taught me is what you're saying is that, and this is the cliche, the powers in the question. You hear that as a cliche.

But it really is. The power is in the question. The question actually shapes the answer. And as always, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who could benefit from it. And remember, do your best to apply what you hear on the show so that you can live what you listen. Until next time, live life passion struck.

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