Diego Perez on The Way Forward: From Trauma to Triumph | EP 514
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If you've ever felt like the auto repair business is broken, you're not alone. Everybody's over it. From talking down to selling up to car-splaining mechanics, you're just done putting up with BS. Bad service. Stop!

At Midas, we're on a mission to redefine car care, where, get this, we talk to you like a real person, helping you plan for today and down the road. Imagine that. We're driving forward with this in mind. Reroute to Midas, where we're putting an end to BS. Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water? Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it, even in cold.

Butter? Yep. Chocolate ice cream? Sure thing. Barbecue sauce? Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide Pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new cold-zyme technology. Just remember, if it's gotta be clean, it's gotta be Tide.

Coming up next on Passion Struck. People sometimes get upset with giving kindness to a particular individual or a friend or a former partner, but then they don't receive that kindness back. I always think that karmically,

You may not receive what you gave from that particular person, but it will come back to you in some manner. It may come back from another stranger in your future or someone else down the line, but the things that you give will come back to you, but they may not come back from the same person.

Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the

power of intentionality so that you can become the best version of yourself. If you're new to the show, I offer advice and answer listener questions on Fridays. We have long form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now let's go out there and become

PassionStruck. Hey, PassionStruck fam. I am absolutely thrilled to welcome you back to episode 514 of the PassionStruck podcast. You, yes, you are the heartbeat of this movement. And I am so grateful for your energy, passion, and commitment to growing and living with intention. Week after week, you show up ready to transform your life. And that's what makes this community so powerful.

If this is your first time tuning in, welcome to the Passion Struck family. You've just joined a community that's all about igniting purpose and living boldly with intentional action. We're excited to have you with us on this transformative journey. Before we dive in to today's episode, I want to share some incredible conversations we had last week.

On Tuesday, I spoke with Dr. Michael Gervais about mastering your mindset and overcoming the fear of other people's opinions. Then on Thursday, Dr. Deborah Egerton joined me to explore the Enneagram and how understanding our personality types can lead to personal growth and emotional intelligence. And then the Friday episode was a special one, including a book conversation that I had with Nanette Weiser from Radio St. Pete, where we explore different concepts from my book, Passion Struck, for

for a book signing that i did at book and people in st petersburg florida if you haven't already make sure to check those all out and for those of you who want to dive deeper into these insights that we have on the podcast don't forget to sign up for my live intentionally newsletter every week i send out exclusive content practical exercises and tools to help you apply what we talk about on the podcast

into your daily life head over to passionstruck.com and start living with more intention today and if you're wondering where to begin with the podcast we've made it super easy with our episode starter packs with over 500 episodes it can be overwhelming to know where to start so we've curated playlists just for you whether you're interested in behavioral science mental health leadership or hearing from inspiring women or astronauts

There's a pack for you. You can check them all out on Spotify or head over to passionstruck.com slash startup packs to dive in. Now let's get into today's episode because we have an absolutely remarkable guest, Diego Perez, known to millions as the number one New York Times bestselling author, young Pueblo. Diego's work has resonated with millions of readers worldwide and his insights into self-healing, emotional wisdom, and authentic connection have been translated into more than 25 languages.

With an audience of well over 4 million people online, Diego has become a guiding light for those seeking personal transformation and healthier relationships. Diego's journey is a powerful testament to resilience and transformation. After hitting rock bottom at the age of 23, he committed himself to a path of self-healing and meditation, and today he stands as a number one New York Times bestselling author. Today we're going to be discussing his latest book, The Way Forward, which is the third and final installment.

of his poetic trilogy offering deep reflections on intention trauma and the human journey toward healing. In our conversation, we'll dive into why intention is one of the most powerful forces in the universe, how Diego believes that trauma didn't break him but gave his life direction,

and the nine things that hold great power in our lives. We'll also reflect on why just existing, even if it takes every ounce of energy, can be heroic work and why happiness isn't something that can be achieved overnight. Plus, Diego will share his advice on how to build a good life and the importance of sometimes saying less

to find clarity and connection. And before we dive in, I just want to say thank you. Your ratings, reviews, and support mean the world to us. If today's episode resonates with you, we'd love for you to give us a five-star review and share it with your friends and family. Your support helps us reach more people and bring on incredible guests like Diego Perez. Now, let's dive into this transformative conversation. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to create an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.

I am so honored today to have Diego Perez, known by his pen name, Young Pueblo. Welcome, Diego. Hey, John. Thank you for having me. I'm excited. If you've ever felt like the auto repair business is broken, you're not alone. Everybody's over it. From talking down to selling up to car-splaining mechanics, you're just done putting up with BS. Bad service. Stop!

At Midas, we're on a mission to redefine car care, where, get this, we talk to you like a real person, helping you plan for today and down the road. Imagine that. We're driving forward with this in mind. Reroute to Midas, where we're putting an end to BS.

Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water? Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it, even in cold. Butter? Yep. Chocolate ice cream? Sure thing. Barbecue sauce? Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide Pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new Coldzyme technology. Just remember, if it's gotta be clean, it's gotta be Tide.

Thank you for our convo. Well, and I also want to give a shout out to Corey Allen for hooking this up between the two of us because I love his podcast, love his books, love what he's doing. So a really profound thanks to him. How did you get to know Corey?

I met Corey, I think I've been following him for probably four or five years now. And I did his podcast probably about four times. I think the first time I did it was in 2019. And we've just been friends ever since. And when he started taking his writing more seriously on Instagram, I've been following, enjoying his bits of inspiration and just giving him support as well.

Well, I wasn't going to ask this question, but since you just brought Instagram up, man, you have become prolific on Instagram. And what I like about your page is you've really stuck to a core theme. It's almost like your posts are as if they come out of a book. How has that worked in your mind?

It's been a pretty organic sort of flow where I almost try to give like tidbits and small pieces, either poems or short quotes that are like an invitation to read the longer stuff in the books. And it feels like it's,

it's social media. So you really only have half a second to get someone's attention. But my thought is if I do have half a second to get your attention, let me try to use minimalism because everything just feels so overwhelming

on social media where it's like the intensity of videos or so many different colors. There's just a lot that the mind is consuming. So I try to simplify the medium with which I give you the message. So often I use black and white, or if I ever do use videos, I'll try to use like really calming ocean videos that have words on top of them so that people can just have find a little half second of relaxation and reflection.

which is a bit different from the common things that you get on your feed. Well, thank you for sharing that. And I'm a follower myself and love the content that you're putting out. So I really appreciate what you're doing. And I do think you do some great teasers for your books. So congrats to you. Thank you.

So long before you became known by your pen name, you were born in Ecuador. You moved to the United States, I think, when you were four, if I have it right. Can you share a little bit about your upbringing and how those early experiences, especially your parents really risking it all to come here to the States, shaped who you are today?

It's so interesting that I've been reflecting a lot. I had a really nice trip with my dad and my wife. We went to Spain this summer for a week to visit family members that also immigrated to Spain. And it was wonderful getting to meet them. But I was really also noticing the differences between Spain and the United States. And I had a moment where I talked to my dad and I told him, I'm really grateful that you had the courage to bring us over here.

to the United States as opposed to Europe, because I felt like, especially at the time when I was growing up, there was just so much opportunity for us that we couldn't get in Ecuador. And that was the main driver that my parents, they realized that they had to move and go somewhere else because

life was just ever challenging in Ecuador. And when they got us over and moved us to Boston, and the difficult part when we moved to Boston was that my parents, my dad worked at a supermarket and my mom, she worked cleaning houses. So we were just stuck in this big classic American poverty trap. And

I wasn't really aware of anything being different to me. I was a four year old, five year old, six year old little kid. So that was just what life was. But as I got older, I could see the tension in the house and see how difficult it was for my parents to put food on the table, to pay the rent. I would see them arguing about money all the time. And they really put themselves and my brother and I in that struggle for the chance at a better life. And

I'm grateful that things did work out for us, but I think it was just massively challenging for them as being the only adults in the room and trying to hold the fort together while it felt like everything was trying to knock us down. But even now, just talking to my dad and I was just like, he's like my favorite American. Like he came to the United States, just loves everything about the United States. And he's grateful that we see, we've seen a lot of other families who try to do the same thing and it doesn't quite always work out, but we're lucky that it has worked out for us well.

Well, it's certainly not easy coming to a new country. I don't care what country it is and trying to make a new life because there's so many, not only cultural things that inhibit it, the language and other things, but there's also, I think, a common tendency to give people who live in those countries the jobs first in many cases. Well, I wanted to move on. I'd love to ask this question. We all have defining moments that reshape our lives.

And they come at different points in our lives, and there can be many of them. In your case, you had a defining moment at 23. You found yourself lying on the floor, believing your heart was going to explode. Can you take us back to that experience and how it completely shifted your perspective on life? It was interesting. So that moment was a culmination of

me very slowly realizing that I was running away from myself. I was constantly using drugs and alcohol while I was in college to just try to evade my emotions. There was this consistent sort of tension that would rise up, whether it was sadness or anxiety, and it would come up so strongly that I just didn't know what to do with it. I also didn't want to admit it to myself.

So what I would try my best to do was I would always surround myself with other people. I was constantly with my friends, never tried to spend any time alone. And then on top of that, I was often inebriated in some fashion, either just smoking more weed, drinking more alcohol, trying different drugs, going to way too many parties, literally partying from...

Wednesday to Monday and only really having one day off. And that really wore my body down. And I stayed in that cycle for about five years until my body just literally couldn't handle anymore. So it was this defining moment in the summer of 2011, where I just like hit rock bottom, my body literally could not handle any more drugs, I felt like my heart was going to explode. And I

What I realized in that moment was that what got me to this point was that I just didn't want to admit that something was wrong. And I also realized that I was going back to thinking about my parents in that moment, their sacrifice came up so clearly in my mind. And I saw how I was wasting this opportunity that they were giving me. And I realized that I didn't want to live this like self-indulgent life. And instead I wanted to try to help people in some way. And I didn't know how, but I knew I wanted to,

try to help in some manner. In that moment, I realized, okay, I don't want to die like this. So what I did was I threw away the hard drugs. And in that moment, I stopped using like cocaine or random pills that I would take or just anything that was really potentially endangering my life. And

I made that hard line. And over the next year, I felt this, I almost had this like private mini Renaissance moment where I started working out again, I started eating healthier foods, I started doing my best to just build better habits. But probably the most crucial thing that I started doing was practicing self acceptance and radical honesty, where I was

allowing myself to just feel the tension that was arising without running away from it. And that was really new for me. This was before I started meditating or anything like that. I just, I would feel that anxiety or that like sting of tension come up. And instead of rolling up another joint or trying to run away from my emotions, I would just challenge myself to sit on my bed for five, 10, 15 minutes and just feel the

the thing that I didn't want to feel. And I noticed in those moments that my emotions weren't as scary as I thought they were. And I felt this like new sense of empowerment. And the journey took off even further a year later when I did my first silent 10 day meditation course. Well, as I was hearing your story earlier this year, I interviewed Gabby Bernstein and in her latest book, Happy Life, she talks about

a very similar circumstance that she had where she found herself giving into her addictions and was just completely out of control. And then she listened to a tape that a mentor had given to her that you can continue to live the life that you're living or you can live it differently. And if you do, you can influence millions in a positive way. And when I think about both of your situations,

It really gets back to the core of what this podcast is about, which is the power of intentional choices. How did your intentionality guide you to living more wisely? How important do you think it was on this journey that you've now been on? I made one simple intentional choice that I think just changed my whole life in that year.

where I was stopping the hard drugs and started sort of reformatting my life, I really intentionally decided to start listening to my intuition. And I did that because I was very young and I didn't know, I hadn't even really, I hadn't had a career yet. I hadn't really, I was just out of college. So I decided to double down and just

commit to my inner compass. And I had a sense that my intuition would lead me in the right direction because it had led me to meeting my wife. I met her at Wesleyan University, the university that I was going to in Connecticut. And it was very, I had this interesting moment where when I was in high school, I

was looking at one of those college magazines and looking at the list of colleges that were around because I was growing up in Boston. So I was trying to see what was in the area and how far would I travel

And I found this college that was about an hour and a half away from Boston. And for some reason, my mind just got stuck on Wesleyan University. And I'm really fortunate that my intuition led me there because I ended up meeting my now wife. I met a bunch of my best friends. I met especially one key friend who later introduced me to the style of Vipassana that I went to that I'm still practicing now.

And even though I did have a challenging time in those four years at university, it still connected me to the right people that have made my life as beautiful as it is now. And I saw the power that my intuition had. So I reflected on that and realized that I needed to keep listening. And it led me to one, you know, going to that silent 10 day meditation course, like when I had heard one of my friends, Sam,

After he did his first one, he did it sometime in the middle of 2011. And as soon as he was describing it to me, I knew that I needed to go do it as well, even though I knew very little about it. And that was like a very clear moment where my intuition was pointing me in a particular direction.

And then there was another key moment where after I had done my third silent 10 day course, my intuition was very clearly saying, right, you should start writing, even though you're not fully healed, even though you're not fully wise, just allow yourself to reflect openly. And that's when I started sharing things on Instagram. And then there was another key moment where my intuition was like, you got to move to New York City. And

And in New York City, I was able to really hone my voice as a writer, meet different inspiring people. And just I put my first book together there. And these critical moments, I think, all came from me intentionally deciding to listen to my intuition. Man, I love that. And I think it's so important for the listeners to hear because it's something I try to double down on all the time.

is it really is a superpower if you lean into it. - And it's hard too, because sometimes the direction that your intuition gives you, it's like, dude, that's, you know, the thing that it's pointing you towards, like me hearing that I should be a writer when I hadn't written anything, I was like, what are you talking about? Or like moving to New York City, I was like, well, this is gonna be a big change. And I don't even know if I wanna do it, but the times when I had the courage to actually listen and allow it to take me outside of my comfort zone,

they were fruitful. I absolutely agree with you. If it wasn't for my intuition, I wouldn't be doing what I'm doing today. And people often ask me, how do you change your career from being this long-term business executive working in Fortune 50 companies to all of a sudden starting a podcast? And I just say there was nothing all of a sudden about it. It was an intentional decision that happened years before

what's happening now actually started and it wasn't an easy road to do that crossover i i mean you question yourself so much you have so much fear and self-doubt but once you start going down the path that you're really destined to it's so liberating is that kind of how you felt as well yes i think once i really started listening to my intuition

It does. It felt so liberating because I think the analytical mind will just do all these pluses and deltas. It'll overanalyze the cost benefit analysis. It'll just start thinking about all of the risks as opposed to the rewards. And I think there's this key thing about your intuition. If you listen to it, it's going to lead you outside of your comfort zone. But at the same time, it's not

I'm going to ask you to hurt yourself in any way. Like it's not going to take you to a dead end. And it's very tricky because your intuition is like, to me in particular, like it feels like a motion, like a direction coming from my body and my stomach, as opposed to like words or thoughts that are happening in the brain.

So I think being aware of where it's coming from in your body and also knowing that it's more of a calm consistency as opposed to this erratic, the erratic sort of like cravings and aversions of the mind, it helps you be able to tell what's intuition and what's not. It absolutely does. And it reminds me of a quote that a mutual friend of ours said, Sharon Salzberg, she

She quote unquote, she says, there's no commodity we can take with us. There's only our lives, whether we live them wisely or whether we live them in ignorance. What does that quote mean to you? It means your actions, right? Like to me, that reminds me of, of how we are like the only thing we really carry with us is our karma. And that's essentially means our actions and whatever action you put forward in life, it's

it bears fruit and it bears a fruit that's similar to the action. And that's something I really ponder about sometimes and really hold true because I'm just like, just like Sharon Salzberg, like the Buddha, she appreciates the Buddha's teaching so much. And I do as well. To me, like,

the Buddhist teaching is like the foreground of not only my personal cultivation, but also influences a lot of my writing and just the way that I see the world. So I'm always trying to be really mindful of what actions am I putting forward in

into the world and may they be as selfless and as conducive to kindness and the well-being of others. And if you start behaving in a selfish or hateful manner, you can feel that tension in your mind first and you'll see the results of that come back to you in some way or another. So I always think to people, I know I see this a lot online where

People are sometimes get upset with giving kindness to a particular individual or a friend or a former partner, but then they don't receive that kindness back. And I always think that karmically,

You may not receive what you gave from that particular person, but it will come back to you in some manner. It may come back from another stranger in your future or someone else down the line, but the things that you give will come back to you, but they may not come back from the same person.

I think that's a wonderful way to look at it. And something I've been talking a lot about this show, because it really profoundly influenced the way I think now is Dacher Keltner's work on awe and how he found what he calls moral beauty or acts of service or kindness that we do unto others are when we most experience, whether we're doing it or somewhat, or we're observing it

when someone else is doing it for someone else. But I do agree with you. You can't expect that act that you might be given one person is going to come back to you from that person. I think it comes back from the universe in a way

that we most of the time don't expect it to. And most of the time it's even grander than the act that we gave to begin with. If you've ever felt like the auto repair business is broken, you're not alone. Everybody's over it. From talking down to selling up to car-splaining mechanics, you're just done putting up with BS. Bad service. Stop!

At Midas, we're on a mission to redefine car care, where, get this, we talk to you like a real person, helping you plan for today and down the road. Imagine that. We're driving forward with this in mind. Reroute to Midas, where we're putting an end to BS. Did you know Tide has been upgraded to provide an even better clean in cold water?

Tide is specifically designed to fight any stain you throw at it, even in cold. Butter? Yep. Chocolate ice cream? Sure thing. Barbecue sauce? Tide's got you covered. You don't need to use warm water. Additionally, Tide Pods let you confidently fight tough stains with new Coldzyme technology. Just remember, if it's gotta be clean, it's gotta be Tide.

Imagine what's possible when learning doesn't get in the way of life. At Capella University, our FlexPath learning format lets you learn on your own schedule. A different future is closer than you think with Capella University. Learn more at capella.edu. It's interesting what you said there about arising in moments of service. I haven't made that connection before. I haven't heard that before. And I have to look into that because as soon as you said that, it was making me think of the times where

you know, moments where I was like in service or serving people like there, there's this beautiful thing in, in our meditation tradition where you can go and you can meditate for 10 days and people are, and while you're meditating, there are people who are like,

making your food and making sure that you like that the center is taken care of so that you can just focus on meditating. And in those moments where I've been there in the back in the kitchen, making food or cleaning or just like helping support other meditators who over the years have also supported me like those are some of the happiest moments of my life.

well i appreciate you saying that and i just want to double down on something that you were just talking about you've become known as a master at mindfulness but it wasn't always that case and today you just mentioned a 10 day long silent meditation retreat but you also go on ones that are 30 to 45 days in length and my understanding having listened to you on a number of other podcasts

is when you're on these, just except for checking in with the leader of the actual retreat once or twice during the retreat, you find yourself in complete silence. Is that a correct way to think about it? Absolutely. You're totally in silence. The last 45 day retreat I did was between January and February. And during that retreat, the teacher

He checked me three times, I think. And both of those times were literally talking like minute and a half long conversations just to see how you're doing. Is everything going okay? If I had any questions and all the people there who were in those long, like 45 day courses, they

They're all like very established meditators. They've all been meditating for many thousands of hours. My wife and I in that course, I'm pretty sure we were both the youngest people there, but everybody else there was like, I've been meditating for 20, 30, 40, 50 years. And so when you're left alone like that, it's because you know what to do and you're able to like, whatever hurdles come up during your meditation, you know how to apply them

the Buddhist teaching in a way that helps you build a deeper understanding of impermanence, of dissatisfaction, or understanding of not self. And it's like, it's just the best. It's honestly, it's like the centerpiece of my life. Like when I get to meditate, I feel like

that is the best thing that I'm doing for the world. And it sounds so it may sound counterintuitive, because I'm meditating, I'm alone, I'm closing my eyes, I meditate daily, I go to I go away to these retreats. But honestly, any good that I'm able to give comes from this place where I'm

renewing myself, right? Where I'm studying the universe, where I'm understanding how I'm causing my own suffering and how I can better understand, especially the law of impermanence and not just at the intellectual level, but to be able to literally feel the law of impermanence happening within the framework of the body. And I'm really grateful to these meditation retreats because they have honestly taught me what I think is the most important stuff that I've learned in my life,

And I keep learning from them. That's why I keep going back. But it's one of my favorite part of everything because like to me, first and foremost, like I'm a meditator. I'm a writer and an author. Second, I'm a venture capitalist. Third, I have recently founded my own startup. And that's like another aspect of my life. But these are not

core parts of my identity, like my main understanding of what is Diego here to do, I have to meditate and I have to work on my own liberation. And from that, all the other things are supported by that, if that makes sense. It makes complete sense. Earlier this year, I released my first book and one of the chapters I wrote in it was about this concept, conscious engagement. And

I really honed in on Stephen Covey's message in here that the main thing about the main thing is keeping the main thing in your life. I love that. And for you, it's that meditation by keeping it the main thing. It makes everything else work. But if you lose the focus on it,

Everything else slowly falls apart. Actually, I first heard that even before Stephen Covey said it, I happened to hear it from a minister when I was going to a Methodist church, did a whole sermon on it. And of course, he was speaking to God. But whatever your main thing is, when you move farther and farther away from it,

I think that's where this whole concept of dream decay, if you've ever heard of that, comes about. Because despite the self-work we do, lasting change often feels elusive and we lose our main thing. So what ends up happening is we break the cycle and we design a life that we're not intentional about instead of one that we truly care about. Do you find that to be the case,

I mean, I feel it in my bones. Like I feel it's so crystal clear that if I were like, this is my path, like I need to keep meditating. And if I were to, like, I've said it publicly before, if I ever stopped meditating, don't read what I'm writing, you know, because it's not coming from a balanced place anymore. It feels like a long, it's a lifelong journey for me. And

I make it a point that no matter how busy I get or what projects I take on, I make time to go away to meditate and

when I make this time, it literally means I'm not answering emails. I don't have my phone. I don't have my laptop. As soon as you get to a, in this style, in the Goenka tradition, you go to these meditation courses. Like the first thing you do is you like, you give up, you give your phone and they just put it in a locker for you and they hold it for you until the end of the course. And to me, that's one of my favorite parts because like,

I have gotten busier over time, but that hasn't stopped me from going away on these longer retreats. And I'm really, and it's, I have these funny moments where sometimes like even my, you know, editors or people that I'm working with, they, I can sense their sort of their frustration that I'm just like, you just can't access me for 30, 45 days. But yeah,

Honestly, like if I weren't doing that, I feel like I would be missing out in a key part of my life. Like I really enjoy writing and I really enjoy putting new books together. I enjoy the venture capital work that I do too, but it's, I think the most fulfilling part of my life is being able to literally study the laws of the universe within the framework of the body. And I have to give myself that opportunity and everything else just comes second.

I had a follow on to that, Diego. Earlier on in this episode, when we started, you discussed the time in your life when you felt lost, you were just trying to survive. And so you ended up doing things because you were lost, trying to find yourself when what it actually did was causing you to get further and farther away from who you truly were. Now, in your work, you emphasize the importance of finding true north and course correcting.

How do people who are potentially listening or watching to this interview recognize when they veered off course and what steps can they take to realign with their deepest desires? That's a beautiful question. It's something I'm always checking in with myself, and I think it's a mixture of having a clear set of values where the values can be a lot more longer lasting and a lot more sturdy than

opinions or political views or ways that you see the world, right? Because your views should be changing over time. As you're taking in new good information, you should be adapting and have a flexible sense of a worldview so that you can keep growing and blossoming. Values on the other hand, feel more sturdy because like to me, one of my key values is I don't want to hurt myself and I don't want to hurt other people. And if I'm ever in a situation that feels like, or if I'm supporting something that hurts other people,

or then I'm in the wrong place, right? I'm not, I'm doing something wrong. And having those like clear boundary points of what is acceptable and not acceptable makes life really much more streamlined. So I think if you ever feel like you're falling off path, check in with yourself. Am I still living within my core values? Am I still

Am I supporting the wellbeing of others through my actions? Am I still giving properly? Am I still being authentic about what my real truth is? Am I spending time giving to nourishing connections where people who I feel like are really deeply nourishing to me? Am I also giving back to them and making time for them? I think some of these critical elements about compassion and kindness

and really doubling down on your own wellbeing, like those are core values. And when you feel like you're no longer sticking to them, then you may be going in the wrong direction. - I love that answer. Thank you so much for that incredible advice. I wanna switch gears now and talk about your latest book, "The Way Forward," which is the final chapter of a poetic trilogy that you have now finished. When you first approached this project,

Was the way forward in your mind the entire time or did it come to you along the journey of writing it? Oh, that's a really good question. It came to me after I finished Clarity and Connection, which was the second book. I was hoping that first book, Inward, was like a one and done. Like I can just say everything I had to say in one book. But after I finished that, I realized, wow, this is just a reflection of

one chapter of my life. And what I didn't account for was like what I would be learning after that. And then there was this key lesson where Inward is really focused on your personal growth as an individual. And that was a deep reflection of what was happening in my own life at that time. Like I wrote Inward between the years of 2020

2014 and 2017. And that era of my life was when I really started getting serious about meditating. That's, that was the time when I, you know, stopped taking all intoxicants. Like I have, I don't drink or smoke or do anything like that anymore. And I was really stabilizing myself into my personal growth. But what I didn't foresee was how much

doubling down on my wellbeing, doubling down on developing my self-awareness, how much that was going to transform my relationships. It improved my relationship with my wife so much. And it

I was really grateful and it almost felt like a positive externality. Like I had no idea that spending time developing my self-awareness was going to help me not create needless arguments with my wife or be able to have more patience when we do have moments of tension or to be able to let old things go and

I was fortunate that my wife and I, we both started that meditation journey together. And as we, because in that time, we were both really focused on our personal growth while we were together. But we started seeing that more and more harmony started coming into our relationship. And that was like the onset of Clarity and Connection, that second book. And then I saw how after that book was put together, I'm like, well, the journey is not over. There's still so much more to learn. There's so much more to let go of, so much more to heal. And

what felt proper was like, how do you continue just plowing forward, taking one step in front of another? And how do you stay almost balanced while the world just continues changing, right? The world is just constantly in flux. And that's why I talk so much about intuition and developing a good set of values that are good for you and good for others to help you stay clear in a world that's ever changing.

No, I love that answer because in my book, I describe passion struck is when you align your values with your ambitions and your long-term aspirations in a way that aligns

takes you down the path of self-realization. So I love the way you just described that. So for people who aren't familiar with this trilogy, in it, it's a collection of thoughts and poems. Is that a good way to articulate it? Yeah, it's a mixture. It's like poems, quotes, and really like almost like micro essays. So I just randomly had...

pulled a page that I was going to read to prior to the episode, and I can't believe how well it dovetails into what we were talking about. This happens to be, you asked the question, how do you build a good life? And I love this because I'm a huge fan of Bob Waldinger and love the work that he's been doing at the Harvard study of adult aging and the book he wrote last year. But your answer is

What we were initially talking about, relentlessly follow your intuition, build with people who also love to grow, take responsibility for your healing, love yourself so deeply that you feel at home in your body and mind, teach yourself to forgive and never stop being a kind person.

I mean, I think it just so encapsulated the first 30 minutes of our discussion. I love it. I know that one piece has, that's basically all I'm trying to say. That's the captures it all. Well, one of the things that you talk about in this book is that trauma is something that many feel, including me at one stage in my life, broke them.

But you've expressed that it actually gives your life direction. Can you share more about how others can reframe their trauma as a tool for growth and healing? I think it's really helpful to know that, right, there are definitely moments of deep hurt or trauma that get encapsulated in the subconscious of the mind.

but it gives you a clear avenue of direction in that even though you had no most people often don't have say over the trauma that they're receiving but you do know that okay

You didn't want this to happen, but this is what has happened. It's currently affecting your mind. It's currently affecting your perception. So your task at hand is the unbinding of this trauma that is burdening your mind. And knowing that and learning from it and finding your own tool set, like I've talked

during this conversation about how much I've benefited from meditating. Like meditating has benefited me tremendously, but I have seen...

how powerful other modalities are as well by seeing those in my life, family members who have benefited very greatly from therapy, other family members who have benefited a lot from prayer, other family members who have benefited a lot from psychiatry. And I think it's beautiful for people to find

what their tools are. And I think that's something that all of us as modern people should ask ourselves. Even if you haven't really thought of yourself as having experienced trauma, you have definitely experienced some type of hurt, some type of mental pain, some sadness, some anxiety, some tensions, some form of suffering or another.

You have to understand that these things leave an imprint on the mind. They leave such deep imprints that they predispose you to seeing the world in old ways, almost like as if the past is jumping into your present as a very thick lens. And it makes you react in the same way. It makes you repeat certain reactions. Some people will react to life with anger. Others will react to life with sadness. But

when you know that the mind is knotted up in this way because it's carrying this past whether you've experienced serious trauma or not you can definitely benefit from personal growth you can call it healing you can call it personal growth doesn't really matter but what does matter is that you're intentionally building a new base of habits a new base of behaviors that is more conducive to you living a happier life now i couldn't agree with that more and i love how in the book you connected

This form of healing to change and oftentimes we resist change. And there's a whole component of the book where you're talking about change but one thing that you wrote really caught my attention. You write an attachment to control essentially comes from having a bad relationship with change and I think back to my own life.

during periods where I was trying to control so many aspects of it from the relationship I was in to what was happening at work to other things. And when I look back, what was really happening was there was a lot of change going around my life that I didn't feel comfortable with. And instead of just

dealing with the change, I was trying to control things, which never works. So I love this. Can you talk a little bit more about why you wrote this and what it means to you? I'm glad that you're bringing this up because change is, I think, one of the parts of life that, like I was saying a little bit earlier, we understand change and the idea of change intellectually, but when change

faces us straight ahead and it just looks right at you, we are often in a fight against it. Like we don't like change. We want to push it away. We're repelled by it. We want the things that we like to stay the same and we want bad things to never happen. And that is just absolutely unrealistic because life is

literally comes in waves, like things will ebb and flow and change is just a constant. If you think about how this universe functions,

change is happening at every single level of existence. We're talking at the most like micro atomic level, the biochemical level, like your cells are always changing. Your blood is always flowing, but you're always breathing in air. Like everything in inside of you is just constantly in motion. And on the same way, the earth is always changing cosmologically. Things are always moving and changing. So at every level of existence changes there,

But we often find ourselves having a combative relationship with change when in reality, change is like the essence of life, right? Like you would not exist without the motion of change. If everything were static, you wouldn't be able to exist. You wouldn't be able to breathe into your cells would have never come together to make your being. And I think when we understand that,

and move into life with a sense of presence where we can actually accept like this beautiful moment that I'm currently in, it's not always going to be there. This moment that I'm having with my mom, with my dad, the laughter that we're sharing as a family, we're not always going to have this. And because of that, let me be inspired

to give even more presence so that I can fully enjoy it. I'm not going to pick up my phone. Instead, I'm going to ask my dad another question or my mom another question so we can keep the conversation going. And when it ends, it'll end, but I'm not going to be as sad about it because I understood that change is bound to happen. So

I'll try my best to be present during the beautiful moments. And when the tough moments come, I'll know they're also not going to last forever, right? This flat tire that happens, it's difficult, it's annoying, but it'll get, we'll overcome it. And all the little sort of mishaps that can happen, the small ones, the big ones, whatever type of challenges you're facing, they're completely impermanent. And you might as well face them with a balanced mind.

And I love that answer, Diego. Thank you so much. I often emphasize the importance of asking yourself the right questions. I think it's the questions that we ask ourselves that determine our authentic voice and who we become. What key questions do you believe people should ask themselves when seeking clarity and purpose in their lives? Oh, I think one of the main ones you need to ask yourselves is what I'm understanding

actually true or just a projection because we don't quite often see that we will project whatever emotion we're feeling onto whatever we're assessing in that moment. So

There are many times where you could be watching a movie that is actually pretty good, but because you didn't feel good at the start of it, or you didn't feel good that day, you're going to say, oh, that movie was really bad. I don't like it. But you weren't actually realizing that you already went into that situation with that underlying negativity because your mind felt some tension or another.

in a much more important way when you're trying to assess situations with friends or family or with whatever it is that you're viewing, you could easily be projecting that

tension that you feel onto the situation. So you have to check in with yourself and ask yourself, am I assessing the situation accurately? Or am I projecting onto it? And oftentimes, there is going to be some level of projection onto it. So trying your best to observe something without

any type of assessment. And that's really difficult. It's something that Jiddu Krishnamurti talks about. He talks about really just being able to look at something and look at a situation without throwing on whatever emotion you have onto it and just seeing it for what it is. It takes cultivation, but I think that's a talent that we would all benefit from is to really be able to see things as they are. And then I had one last question about the book. In your section titled Direction,

you have four life lessons. Build inner peace or fall to outer chaos. Being flexible does not mean giving up. Appreciate the closest friends in your life. And your last one is challenging times do not last forever. And it really reminded me of an interview I did with my friend who used to be the chief astronaut named Chris Cassidy. He was a former Navy SEAL. And he told me his biggest lesson that he learned when going through BUDS, Basic Underwater Demolition School,

was that trying times end and he began to see it as if it was a rubber band where time can expand or can shorten. But if you go in through things knowing that the hardship is only going to last for a finite period, it's amazing what your mind can accomplish and get over the hurdles that you face. So I'm so grateful you brought it up. Is that similar to what you were hoping that would convey?

Totally. I think that really encapsulates this pain that you're feeling or this like tempest that may have moved into your life. It's very temporary. And you'll notice like there are ebbs and flows. There are moments where it feels like everything's going wrong. And it's

it's fully temporary. And then there are calmer moments in your life where things are a little more peaceful and things feel like they're flowing more, but that's also temporary too. So I think understanding that you need to build that inner resilience by not being as reactive can be quite helpful. So that's why that line, you have two options. You build inner peace or you fall to outer chaos. Either your emotions are going to be carried away by the things that are happening outside of you, or you can decide to build that inner resilience.

No, I love it. And Diego, looking ahead as you prepare next year for the release of your next book, How to Love Better, what lessons from the way forward and the entire trilogy do you see carrying over

And how do you see yourself continuing to inspire people to live more intentional, love-filled lives? That's a great question. I think for How to Love Better, it is going to continue building on this idea of having your value set and being able to build that with your partner. And I think a lot of the lessons of the way forward are almost like a precursor to How to Love Better, where

Once you have really deeply developed your sense of how to navigate the world and how to be more clear in your relationships, how to love better is like the deep dive. So it's almost like a companion to clarity and connection, but the far, far deeper exploratory version of how does compassion work?

how does kindness like show up in your relationship, especially the type of compassion where you're specifically challenging yourself to see perspectives outside of your own and, and the willingness to grow and how the willingness to grow can make a

a relationship that's good become great. And I'm excited for people to read it because I really put my heart into this one. And my wife also, she did a great job as being my primary editor and she checked everything off and made sure that she agreed with all the points too. So it's a labor of love from the both of us. Well, I don't want to put you on the spot, so I'm not going to, but if you would love to come back and discuss that book, I would be honored to have you next year. Would love to. So

So I'm going to end today. I'd like you to tell the audience where they can find you, but I was also hoping you could tell them about the relationship app that you're involved with. Sure. You can find me anywhere on any bookstores, Young Pueblo, Y-U-N-G space P-U-E-B-L-O, local bookstores, Amazon. I have four books out there. And

on Instagram as well, Y-U-N-G underscore P-U-E-B-L-O and this relationship app that I'm working on. So I definitely invite people to join the waitlist. If you're looking for evolved dating, if you're looking for dating people who also really deeply care about their personal growth, this is going to be the place to do it. But we're not just offering dating as a function for people who care about their growth.

We're also trying to support new relationships and also already established relationships. So if you've been together with someone for 10 years, there's going to be a lot of value that you can get from this app. So I'm excited to just create a new space for people who want

understand that developing your self-awareness and developing your growth is essential, whether you're single, whether you're dating or whether you're in a relationship. So we want to help you connect with amazing people. And once you connect with them, we want to continue supporting you. So you can sign up to the wait list by going to readyplatform.co.

readyplatform.co well diego thank you so much for being here today it was quite the honor thank you again thank you too john this is a really great conversation wow what a powerful conversation with diego perez i hope you're leaving this episode with a renewed sense of purpose and a deeper understanding of how intention self-healing and authentic connection can transform your life diego's wisdom on navigating trauma finding clarity and embracing the human journey towards healing

is truly inspiring. One of the biggest takeaways from today's episode is the incredible power of intention. As Diego shared, when we align our decisions with intentions, we can move toward a life of greater meaning and fulfillment. Whether you're working through personal challenges or striving to create healthier relationships, these insights can help you take the next step on your journey.

If this conversation resonated with you, I'd love to hear your thoughts. Drop a review and let us know how you're applying Diego's insights into your life. And don't forget to share this episode with someone who could benefit from hearing it. Your support helps us spread these powerful messages and bring on more incredible guests like Diego. You can find links to Diego's work, including his latest book, The Way Forward, in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Be sure to check out video of this episode on YouTube.

at John R. Miles or our Clips channel at PassionStruckClips and find all our sponsors and special deals at PassionStruck.com slash deals. Please consider supporting those who support the show. Before we wrap up, I want to remind you that beyond hosting the PassionStruck podcast, I'm passionate about

about sharing these insights through speaking engagements. I've had the privilege of working with some of the world's top companies and organizations, helping leaders and teams unlock their potential and create intentional change. If today's episode sparked something in you and you think these messages can inspire your company or organization, I'd love to explore how we can work together. Head over to johnrmiles.com slash speaking for more details or reach out directly through the website. And if you think I'd be a great fit for your next event, I'd really appreciate it if you'd help spread the word.

Now, get ready for our next episode because I'm sitting down with Jessica Kriegel. Jessica is a culture expert, chief scientist of workplace culture at Culture Partners and the author of Unfairly Labeled. We're going to dive deep into her groundbreaking insights on workplace culture, leadership, and how we can break from stereotypes to build more inclusive, effective teams. It's an episode packed with actionable strategies you won't want to miss. I call leaders chief repetition officers.

because they have to repeat the how, the why, and the way over and over again. In our company, we start every single meeting by saying out loud what our purpose is, what our strategy is, and what our results are that we're trying to achieve, as well as the beliefs that will get us there. Every single meeting, every executive call on Friday, every revenue call on Friday, every time. And it gets sometimes a little bit awkward and embarrassing that we're saying this whole thing every single time. But

It is consistency that intentionally shapes culture. You can't just do some big bang experiences. And as always, the fee for the show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who could benefit from it. The greatest compliment that you can give us is to share the show with others. And remember, do your best to apply what you hear on the show so that you can live what you listen. Until next time, live life passion struck.

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