cover of episode Bo Eason on How to Transform Your Lowest Moments Into Power | EP 529

Bo Eason on How to Transform Your Lowest Moments Into Power | EP 529

2024/11/5
logo of podcast Passion Struck with John R. Miles

Passion Struck with John R. Miles

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Bo Eason: Bo Eason分享了他如何将人生的低谷转化为个人成长的催化剂。他从自身在体育和娱乐事业中克服挫折的经历出发,阐述了如何将逆境转化为力量的实用步骤和引人入胜的真实案例。他强调了早期决心和设定长期目标的重要性,以及积极环境和导师指导的作用。他认为,掌握一样东西可以让你在生活的其他领域取得成功,并鼓励人们通过讲述自己的故事,即使是艰难的、黑暗的部分,来建立信任并产生持久的影响。Bo Eason还分享了他父亲对他的影响,以及父亲如何通过讲述故事来教会他责任感和克服困难的重要性。他认为,通过讲述自己人生中那些痛苦的、低谷的时刻,可以与他人建立更深层次的联系,并激发他们的灵感。他强调了在人生中设定目标,并坚持不懈地为之奋斗的重要性,即使过程中会遇到挫折和失败。他认为,只有坚持不懈,才能最终取得成功。Bo Eason还分享了他如何从NFL球员转型为舞台表演者,以及他如何通过讲述自己的故事来帮助他人。他认为,每个人都有一个值得讲述的故事,而那些最痛苦的、最不愿讲述的故事,往往是最有力量的。他鼓励人们勇敢地分享自己的故事,并从中汲取力量和教训。 John R. Miles: John R. Miles作为主持人,引导Bo Eason分享了他的经验和观点,并就其观点提出了一些问题。他与Bo Eason探讨了个人成长、韧性、以及讲故事的力量等话题。他强调了积极环境和导师指导的重要性,以及通过讲述个人故事建立信任和产生持久影响的重要性。他与Bo Eason共同探讨了如何将人生低谷转化为力量,以及如何通过讲述个人故事来激励他人。他分享了他自己的经历,以及他如何从那些低谷的时刻中汲取力量和教训。

Deep Dive

Key Insights

Why did Bo Eason decide to become a safety in football?

Bo was inspired by OJ Simpson's performance and wanted to stop such 'beautiful runners' from scoring touchdowns.

How did Bo Eason's father influence his early determination?

His father woke him up every day affirming his potential to be the best, setting a tone of expectation and belief in his abilities.

What story did Bo Eason's father tell him that had a profound impact on his football career?

His father told him the story of the 'runt of the litter,' a small puppy that, through determination and competition, becomes the strongest dog, symbolizing Bo's potential despite his size.

How did Bo Eason transition from football to acting, and who played a crucial role in this transition?

Bo sought advice from Al Pacino, who guided him on the intensive training and dedication required to become a top stage performer over 15 years.

Why does Bo Eason emphasize the importance of storytelling in personal and professional development?

Storytelling allows individuals to connect deeply with others through shared experiences and emotions, building trust and influencing effectively.

What advice does Bo Eason give for those who think their story isn't worth telling?

He advises focusing on the lowest moments, the defining moments of pain, as these are the stories that resonate most with others and reveal personal courage and resilience.

How does Bo Eason explain the connection between mastering one skill and succeeding in other areas of life?

Mastery in one area, such as football or acting, teaches principles of dedication, discipline, and resilience that can be applied universally to other pursuits.

What is Bo Eason's view on the current leadership model and how does he propose to change it?

He believes the current leadership model is bankrupt and advocates for leaders who can authentically share their stories, especially their lowest moments, to rebuild trust and inspire others.

How does Bo Eason suggest people should approach asking for help from successful individuals?

He suggests asking for guidance on how to become the best at something, rather than seeking shortcuts like fame or money, as this aligns with the values of successful people who achieved their status through hard work and mastery.

What is the significance of the 'runt of the litter' story in Bo Eason's life?

The story symbolizes the idea that being the smallest or weakest can lead to developing the biggest heart and greatest determination, which was a key lesson Bo's father used to encourage him in his football career.

Chapters
Bo Eason recounts his early determination at nine years old to become the best safety in the NFL, drawing up a 20-year plan. Despite initial setbacks, he persevered, driven by his family's support and belief in his potential.
  • Bo's father instilled a belief in his potential by waking him up every morning affirming his greatness.
  • Despite being told he was too small to play football, Bo's determination and family support kept him focused on his goal.
  • Bo's journey from high school to college and eventually the NFL exemplifies the power of unwavering dedication and belief.

Shownotes Transcript

Translations:
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To love and to cherish. To love and to itch. I mean, cherish. Uh, sweetie? For as long as we both shall live. For as long as we both shall itch. Sorry, tape. From this day forward. Look, I'm sorry. I just can't do this itch. If you have eczema, Michael? you know that itch is a four-letter word. Learn about reducing that offensive eczema itch fast at fourletteritch.com.

This lasagna was so cheesy. My plate was filled with saucy slices. Then a flimsy store brand plate. No, no, no, no. Ruined it. Next time, get Dixie Ultra plates. Three times stronger than the leading store brand 10-inch paper plate. Dixie, make it right. Coming up next on Passion Struck. Usually your best story is the one you don't want to tell.

Isn't that funny to say? Like, there's a lot of stories that we want to tell, right? Like about, oh, I won the championship. Look at my trophy. I'm sure Tom Brady loves telling that story. Look, I won seven Super Bowls. I want to know the lowest moment Tom Brady's ever had, because that's the one that has the most connective tissue to it.

Welcome to Passion Struck. Hi, I'm your host, John R. Miles. And on the show, we decipher the secrets, tips, and guidance of the world's most inspiring people and turn their wisdom into practical advice for you and those around you. Our mission is to help you unlock the

We have long-form interviews the rest of the week with guests ranging from astronauts to authors, CEOs, creators, innovators, scientists, military leaders, visionaries, and athletes. Now, let's go out there and become passionate.

Hey, PassionStruck fam, welcome to episode 529 of the PassionStruck podcast. I want to start by thanking each and every one of you for being here, for your energy, and for showing up week after week to fuel your journey toward living a more intentional, purpose-driven life. You're the heart of this community, and we're so grateful to have you here. If you're new to PassionStruck, welcome. You've just joined an incredible community that's all about growth, purpose, and

and igniting your passion to make a difference. For those of you wondering where to dive in with over 500 episodes or how to share this with a friend or a family member, we've made it super easy. Check out our episode starter packs curated on topics like leadership, personal growth, astronauts, mental health, military veterans, and more. Available on Spotify and at passionstruck.com slash starter packs. And if you're looking to stay inspired between episodes, don't forget to sign up for my Live Intentionally newsletter.

where I share exclusive insights, tools and exercises to help you put these lessons into action. Head over to passionstruck.com to get started. Also, if you want to watch these conversations come to life, remember that all our episodes are available on YouTube, where we're building a thriving community of over a quarter million subscribers. You can find us on the John R. Miles YouTube channel and our dedicated Passion Struck Clips channel for bite-sized insights and highlights. Last week brought us incredible insights across health,

personal growth and resilience. Eric Edmeades kicked us off with a deep dive into lasting health transformation, exploring small, actionable shifts we can make to align with our biological needs and close the evolution gap. Then Jason Silver joined us to share his unique approach to thriving in our current roles rather than searching for fulfillment elsewhere. And in my solo episodes, I explored the powerful story of

MLB player Josh Hamilton, a journey through addiction, redemption, and the unwavering power of resilience. Each episode is packed with actionable wisdom you won't want to miss. Now let's dive in to today's episode because it's going to be a game changer. I'm thrilled to welcome Bo Eason to the show, a man who truly embodies the pursuit of greatness and the

power of personal transformation. Bo's journey began at just nine years old with a crayon and a dream to become the best safety in the NFL. Against the odds, he achieved his goal, becoming the top safety in the 1984 draft. But after a career-ending injury, Bo didn't stop there. He reinvented himself in the world of storytelling and personal development, creating a one-man play that the New York Times hailed as one of the most powerful plays of the last decade.

Today, Beau is a sought after speaker and coach who has dedicated himself to helping others harness the power of their personal stories to connect, inspire and lead. In our conversation, we'll explore why telling your story, even the hard, dark parts, is the quickest way to build trust and leave a lasting impact. Beau's journey is testament to resilience, declaring who you are and following through with unwavering dedication. His book, There's No B Plan,

for your A-game gives us a blueprint for becoming the best in whatever we set out to do. So whether you're an athlete, an entrepreneur, a parent, or someone looking to deepen your impact, Bose Insights will inspire you to take control of your narrative and build a legacy that matters. Thank you for choosing PassionStruck and choosing me to be your host and guide on your journey to creating an intentional life. Now, let that journey begin.

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Prescription products require an online consultation with a healthcare provider who will determine if a prescription is appropriate. Restrictions apply. See website for full details and important safety information. I am absolutely thrilled to bring you Bo Eason today on PassionStruck. Welcome, Bo. Thanks, John. Thank you for having me. Bo, you have lived such an extraordinary life and have had so many twists and turns in

I think we need to start at the beginning. Can you talk about how your early determination at nine years old, I can't even imagine it, drawing up a 20-year plan set a foundation in your life? Yeah, that was really the key to my life. I grew up, I was the youngest of six kids.

So there was a lot of mouths to feed and there was a lot of attention to be given to each one. And I was the youngest, right? So I was always battling for that attention and to be great at something because that was big in my family. My dad woke us up. He's a cowboy. He's a rancher. So he didn't talk a lot, but when he talked, it meant something. So you listened. And the way he woke us up, all six of us, was by telling us we were the best.

That's how we woke up. And when you grow up on a ranch, you wake up really early. So it's five in the morning and he's rubbing your back and he's telling you're the best. And then he's dropping a few cuss words alongside of it just for punctuation. And so that's how I was. I was woke up like that every day until I went to college.

And then even when I was married and went back home and for Christmases and stuff, he still wakes us up the same way. But that's how I always woke up. So it set the tone. I knew, okay, I'm supposed to be the best. And I always was wondering, is he sure about me? Maybe the other kids are going to be great or the best, but I don't know. I was little. I was younger.

But I was just trying to find a place to put all my energy and what I was going to be the best at. And lo and behold, at about the age of nine, I was watching this game. My dad was actually watching a game with OJ Simpson in it. OJ Simpson was in the game. He was a running back for the Buffalo Bills at USC and he won the Heisman Trophy.

Anyway, I had never really heard my dad use the word beautiful because he's just not that kind of guy. And rarely had I ever seen him sitting down in front of a TV. And that's where we were this one afternoon when I was nine and he was watching a game with OJ Simpson in it. Well, I didn't know who OJ Simpson was. I don't even know if my dad knew who he was, but he did say that this kid is beautiful.

And he's pointing at the TV and I'm like looking at my dad. I'm looking at the TV wondering what is he's never used the word beautiful. A. B. He's talking about a man on TV and he was talking about the way he moved and the way he ran and what beauty it had. And so I was like, I just remember watching O.J. Simpson and going, OK.

that kid is beautiful the way he moves, the way he runs. I never seen anybody do that before. But what I remember being more interested in is I didn't want to be OJ Simpson. I wanted to stop him. I wanted to tackle him. Right. And look, there are a lot of therapists have tried to figure that one out. But I

Later learned that there's this position called safety in football. That is the last line of defense. And if you can get past the safety then you score, you win. But if you can't get past the safety you can't win, because you can't score. So,

That's when I decided, and it's strange, I can't put it all together with my memories, but I remember that being very important to me. Like, I want to be that guy who can stop these beautiful runners from scoring touchdowns and beating us. I wanted to be on that side of the ball.

So I drew up the plan. I called it a declaration only because I just, I liked the, because we were learning the declaration of independence in school. And I just remember being in awe of founding fathers writing this document like 250 years ago, yet I didn't write it. And my, you know, I wasn't related to these founding fathers, but they wrote something that,

that us Americans bring into existence every day. And I was one of those Americans. So I was like, so these founding fathers created this declaration. They declared who we were going to be. And I, me, who didn't know them, who didn't write it, by the way I lived, brought their declaration into existence. So I put that kind of all together as I was growing up. And so I never liked the word goals.

I just didn't like the word. I liked the word declaration. So that's what I drew up a plan, a declaration that said I would be the best safety in 20 years because that's how long it was going to take me to grow up and be able to be drafted in the NFL as the top safety. So that's how my life began. That's how the dream of the declaration began. That was the genesis of it.

And then along the way, all those years, so going through grammar school, going through high school, college, and then eventually the pros, as I look back, that actually came true. Like it came, my declaration of being the best safety actually came into existence, but so many years after I had written that declaration, so many years. But the one thing that people always ask me about that particular declaration is,

Well, were you just great all the time? Were you just the best athlete in your school? And the answer is not even close. So all my buddies, it felt like to me, were better than me. They were bigger than me. They were faster than me. So I always tell people all those years leading up to being named the best safety in the NFL, all those years leading up to it,

It was like I had no evidence for my dream coming true. I had no feedback except from my family. They're like my brother, my dad, they saw it. A couple of people saw it, but almost no one else did.

Almost no one else was going, yeah, Bo, you're really special. You're going to make it. You're going to go all the way. So when I was playing in high school, I thought I was a good player. My brother thought he was a good player. And neither of us was recruited coming out of high school. So 350 colleges play college football, but nobody wrote us a letter. No one recruited us.

So then you think, well, God, I guess I'm not very good being that 350 colleges don't want me. The worst colleges don't want me. So I must be really bad. And it just didn't look like to the world that it was going to come true. But somehow I knew that it was going to. I'm not sure how, but somehow I knew that if I just don't quit college,

That this thing's going to come true because if I don't quit, I'm probably going to be the last safety standing and everyone else would have quit by then. And I'll get to be that guy. So I'll pause right there, John, just to let you know if you want to follow up on anything or if you want to know more about like that journey. I'm happy to tell you more about it.

I'm actually glad you started out the way you did by telling a story because that's a lot of what we're going to be talking about today is the power of storytelling. But I did want to go into a couple more questions about your dad because as I was reading your book, it was clear he had a really big influence on you. And the way you were describing him in some ways reminded me of my own father. My dad had a really rough upbringing. His

Father was an alcoholic for most of his life. I never met him because he died of lung cancer before I was born, but was just really rough on him in particular, less rough on his brother who was seven years younger than. But as a result, my dad went into the Marine Corps and when I was growing up, he didn't say much about

But when he did speak, it was normally a lesson that he wanted to impart upon us. And then he was always telling us that the true measure of a man was their integrity. And to him, integrity meant living in accordance with your core values. And

There are a couple of stories about your dad that were interesting to me because one was a similar situation that I had when I was young, when I was trying out for a sport and the coach happened to be soccer. And the coach told me that I was never going to be good at the sport because I was too slow. And you had a coach when you were playing football who told you you were too small to play football.

And your dad had a very interesting response to that. He said, "Did they measure your heart?" Can you tell us a little bit about that story and why it had such a profound impact on you? It really did. In fact,

I wrote a play that ran for 17 years and the play's title is "Runt of the Litter" and that is the story my dad told me that changed everything for me. So the first time I was going to ever play tackle football, I was a freshman in high school, so what was I 12 or 13? The first day of practice they weighed and they measured us for the game program for our freshman year.

And so I remember like being in line and getting up on the scale in front of the whole team. And the coach is sitting there right next to the scale and measuring my height. And I remember I was, I think I weighed about a hundred pounds, right in between 105 pounds. So on the smaller end, and I just remember the coach laughing and saying that I was too small to play football.

But he didn't know I had this dream of being not only a football player, but the best at my position. So I just remember being in tears after he told me that. And my dad picked me and my brother up after practice. And we had a 17-mile drive back home in my dad's pickup.

And I just remember my dad said, what's the matter? And I said, well, they weighed and measured us for the game program today, dad. And the coach thinks I'm too small. And my dad, without skipping a beat, my dad said, did they measure your heart? God damn it.

I remember telling him, I remember thinking in my 12, 13 year old mind, I don't even think our school has one of those heart measuring things, whatever you're talking about. I don't think my school has one. And he told me a story about the dog, the ranch dog on our ranch. So in those days, a cattle rancher, you couldn't afford to hire a bunch of men to help you with all the cattle.

So you had excellent dogs that helped you. And one particular dog was the ranch dog. And it was always like really heralded in my family. Like that dog was special and it was valuable. You could tell the way it was fed and the way it was treated and the way everybody loved it. And the dog was serious, right? The dog wasn't playful. It wasn't like chasing sticks. It was a serious working dog on the ranch.

And that dog could do the work of 10 men. And that's what my dad told me. He goes, for the ranch dog? And I said, yeah. I said, I love that dog. And my dad goes, yeah, that dog does the work of 10 men. And the reason you love that dog is because before you ever met that dog, it was a little puppy and it was born to the prior ranch dog who used to work on the ranch. So when the working ranch dog has puppies, the rancher does something.

The rancher takes all of the puppies except for the runt of the litter, the smallest puppy born in that litter. He takes that puppy and he ties a little piece of yarn, like a pink yarn around its neck and then puts it back with its bigger brothers and sisters and watches that puppy grow over the next six, eight, 10 weeks.

And the whole family is watching all of these puppies and keeping their eye on the rut with the pink yarn around its neck. And my dad says, do you know why the runt of the litter becomes the next working dog on the ranch? And I said, no. He said, because it is the smallest. It is the weakest. And it has to battle and it has to compete with

for food and survival against its bigger and stronger brothers and sisters. Well, eventually, after eight, 10 weeks, they take all of the puppies from the litter, except for the runt, and they give them away to other ranchers in the area. But they keep the runt of the litter. And I said, why do you keep the smallest one?

And he said, because the smallest one's heart is the biggest. And if he can survive or she can survive those eight, 10 weeks, then that is going to be the smartest, the fastest, the most determined dog that you have. And you can't afford to keep all the dogs. So you give them away to other ranchers. And that is your dog.

And that's the dog can do the work of 10 men. And he said, you're the runt of our litter. Like I had four older sisters and one older brother. So he said, I bet on the runt every time. And once he told me that story, I knew what he meant. I was like, oh, okay. He's telling me that they ain't getting rid of me. Like I'm going to be around because I've made it this far. And

That was always my way, even though I was small body, that was always my way to compete. I always knew because when your dad tells you something like that, you believe it. He said, your heart is the biggest. And I go, okay, I'm going to count on that. And eventually my body, as I grew up through high school and then to college,

My body actually grew up to my heart size. You know what I mean? My body caught up with myself. And that's when I was really able to excel and really able to achieve the dream and make it come true. But that moment in that pickup truck, boy, when you have a parent or a coach who

or somebody that sees your greatness, which is pretty rare. Most of them do like your coach did, like you're too small, like my coach did, or you're too slow. My coach said I was too small. Your coach said you're too slow. Well, let's do something about that. Let's go, let's get faster. Let's get bigger. And when you have somebody who sees your greatness and then speaks it, and then you live into it,

I've always surrounded myself because the dreams were always big for me. I always surrounded myself with people like that because I knew that was somehow innately. I knew that was really important for my development and for me reaching my dreams.

And I, you know how like when you grow up and you start being around other kids and you're getting to be an adult and you realize that not everybody had a dad like me. I just figured everybody must have a dad that told them that, but they didn't. And it took me a while to understand that. No, I didn't have a dad. And I certainly didn't have a dad who told me that or saw greatness in me and said it was okay. Keep going, son.

So that's why he was such a rare guy and meant so much to me. To love and to cherish. To love and to itch. I mean, cherish. Uh, sweetie? For as long as we both shall live. For as long as we both shall itch. Sorry, tape. From this day forward. Look, I'm sorry. I just can't do this itch. If you have eczema. Michael?

You know that itch is a four-letter word. Learn about reducing that offensive eczema itch fast at fourletteritch.com.

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Bo, thank you for sharing that. And today I'm going to be asking you some questions from your book. There's no plan B for your A game. And for the listener,

If they were interested in purchasing it or learning more about it, it'll be in the show notes for this episode. But I wanted to touch on another thing, another story about your dad that you highlight in the book. And this is around the topic of accountability. You had mentioned him telling you before about OJ Simpson. And over the past four to five years before he recently passed away,

I would run into OJ Simpson every so often here in St. Petersburg because his two kids live here in the Tampa Bay area. And I remember looking back at OJ Simpson when he used to play and he was that great player that you were referencing. And you and your brother Tony would often play.

reminisce with your father, looking back on old yearbooks and other things. And a story you talk about in the book is one time you're going through these and you all wanted to hear about the stories of his teammates. And you saw this guy who had huge years and you asked your dad about him and he told you, man, that guy was a hell of a player and he had this incredible opportunity to be great, but he started drinking and all of a sudden he had no chance.

And what was interesting to me, similar to how he told you about the runt of the litter, is your dad had a way of telling you things where he got you to put yourself into the story and in a way that many parents will say, don't drink, don't take drugs, don't do this. But your dad

Had you see the opportunity loss of not being accountable to yourself? And I was hoping you could talk about that a little bit because I think it's an important lesson for parents. Yeah, there is. Great question. And you know what, John? Great question. Because no one really, I don't, I think you might be the first person that's ever asked me about that. And that is, I do this for one, I'm really familiar with it because I do it with my kids all the time as they grew up.

about drinking, about drugs, about sex, all the things that you do as a parent, that those conversations that are hard to have and the conversations that if you tell a kid not to drink, they're probably going to try it anyway. My dad never did that. Always use a story. And it was a tiny story, like an anecdotal story.

Like he would, you would, I remember this one thing my dad always told me and my brother in high school, because he knew we wanted to be professional athletes. And I remember he said, if, and this was marijuana, I remember it was specifically marijuana. He said, because this was in the seventies, he would say, now, if anyone brings out, he would call it dope and light lights up the dope.

You excuse yourself from that person. You get away from the person. You leave that party. You leave that. You just leave. You're gone. You're out. You're not going to be around that. That was the story he told.

for us to do because that's what he did. Like when somebody drank when he was a kid, his dad told him, you just walk away. And my dad said he lost some friends because he just walked away from them. And he still liked them.

as friends, but he wasn't going to be in the area of drinking. And he was telling us not to be in the presence of marijuana. He called it dope. So funny. So one time we're coming home from football practice and me and my brother got a ride from some older guys. We were probably freshmen and sophomore, and they were probably seniors or juniors. And

We looked up to these guys. They were older guys. They were bigger. They were football players. So we wanted to be as good as them. And they were giving us a ride home. Right. And one guy pulls out, I think it was a cigarette. It was either cigarette or, you know, marijuana started to light it up while he was driving in the front seat. Me and my brother were in the back seat. I'll never forget this because we lived down the country. There was no

public transportation there. It was 17 miles between the high school and our house and just farms in between. So my brother, as soon as he saw that, I was looking at it, the guy about to light it up. And I was looking around. I didn't know what to do because I didn't want to say that to an older guy who I admired. But my brother goes like this. Could you pull the car over? Just like that. Could you pull the car over? And the guy goes, what do you mean?

pull the car over. He goes, just pull over. We have to get out of the car. And I was like, I was embarrassed that my brother was saying that, but the guy said, well, what do you mean you got to get out? And he goes, our dad just told us a story about like when he was around somebody who was doing something that we, he didn't want us around. He just said, you got to get away from that. You got to somehow get away from that. So if you'll pull over, we'll just, we can walk the rest of the way.

And the guy, the cool football player guy who was about to light up said, you know what? I'm not doing it. I'm not going to do it. And he didn't light it up. He put it back away and continued to give us a ride. Well, that all came from a little anecdotal story that my dad told me. Somehow innately, maybe it's because of him being a cowboy. Like cowboys are...

They don't talk a lot, but if they do talk, they talk in story. And that's how you teach the youngsters how to herd the cattle or how to win a war or how to overcome something. You did it through story. And I learned then that story was much more effective. Telling a story as you're raising your kids to what you want them, tell them a story of the example that you went through, they will follow suit.

But if you tell them not to smoke marijuana, they might try marijuana. But if you tell them the story of getting out of the car, because I tell my kids that all the time. I go, you guys, my dad told us that we had to get away from marijuana. And one time I was driving and I just a story that I just told you, John. My brother said, hey, could you pull over? Me and my brother got to get out of the car. And I tell my kids that all the time. And you know what?

I don't know if it's been helpful for them, but it's much better to train people and teach people based on story, on anecdotal evidence, instead of telling them what to do. Because even my kids too, right? Like I'm a good parent, but they do not listen to what I tell them to do.

They don't, right? They listen to what other people tell them to do, but they listen to the story and they live into their future likewise because of the story.

Anyway, my dad did that our whole lives. He gave us example after example of a person that did something that he didn't want us to do, whether that was drinking, whether that was womanizing, whether that was cheating on your girlfriend, whatever it was, he would give us examples of it in his life. And then we would just sit there and listen to him and go, okay, I think I know what he's training me to do.

And you just become those stories that a great storyteller tells you. You become those stories. And that's why I talk a lot about storytelling because I think in the end, looking back, it is the thing that kind of saved my butt, storytelling. Like when I had to transition from the NFL to being a civilian, a regular person out there in the public, it was really hard.

Because I was trained to be great. I was trained to be the best in the world at one thing. And that one thing was very violent. And it was to hurt people. That's what safeties did in the 80s. That's what we were known for. That was legal on the football field, but completely illegal in the civilian world. So I had to find a story for myself.

that got me through that. In fact, it was storytelling in itself that I had to start doing to make a living in the civilian world rather than hurting people and myself. Because that was what I was trained to do and I was really good at. I got paid a lot of money to hurt people and intimidate people. Well, that doesn't work too well in the civilian world. So just to avoid prison, I learned how to be expressive

on a stage in front of people. And that's really what saved me. So that's why I don't take storytelling lightly because it's really saved me on a few fronts in my life.

I want to come back to your football years, but I just want to put the audience in this position that you were in. I think the last game you played, you were playing the Miami Dolphins, and this was the seventh time you had busted your knee, if I have it right. And you're sitting here now.

thinking about your future and you're thinking to yourself, I have this skill set that the only thing it's applicable for is me doing something that's going to harm someone that's going to land me in jail, which is why you're making those comments. And then you have this idea that pops up that you're going to go to New York and you pictured yourself being on stage.

And I want to go back to your book before I ask you this question, because it's really the next part of this chapter on accountability. You give this lesson that you have to build your environment, which is something I think is so important, because when you build your environment, meaning the people who you're surrounding yourself with, the energy that you surround yourself with,

the surroundings you put yourself around with, it can have such a positive or such a negative influence on how you're going to end up living your life. But as you are going down this path, you

Start going through some classes. And in one of these classes, if I get the story, you ask your classmates, who do you think the best character actor that there is right now? And they all come back to you and say, it's Al Pacino. And you come up with this idea that you're going to seek down Al Pacino and get advice from him.

If I have the story correct, can you build upon it? You do have it correct. I moved to New York City. Every kid in my class was much younger than me because I already had a career. I was playing in the NFL and they were fresh out of college. All these young kids.

Theater students, acting students, improv students, writing students, they're all in my class. And I was like, you guys, who's the best stage performer of our time? Well, this was 1990. So everybody said Al Pacino is the best of our time.

And I said, cool, where is he? I got to talk to him. And they're laughing at me. This boy's crazy. And I said, because I knew that if he held the mantle, if he was indeed the best on the stage, then he would be the only one to tell me or to help me compete with him.

and eventually take his trophy of being the best stage performer. So, lo and behold, about a week later, I'm in Al Pacino's house. Imagine this. Crazy. I'm at his house.

It's just how you would imagine it is. It looks like a scene out of The Godfather with 15 Italian people in a kitchen stirring gravies and pastas and cooking this crazy big old meal. And no one speaks English. They all speak Italian, except for Al.

And Al comes out and he greets me. He's like, oh, hey, Al Pacino. I'm like, no shit. I've seen all your movies. And he said, Bo, I know why you're here. Come on back. We went to this room that he had a pool table in and we played pool for about three hours and he broke down my next 15 years.

He didn't say it was going to be 15 years until later, but he just started breaking down what my desires were. Like I said, look, I wanted to be the best safety in the world when I was nine. I got that. It came true. I want to do it again. I want to do it with stage performance. I want to be the best at that. Help me. Who do I work with? Where do I go? What's the first thing I do? And this was in New York.

And he told me who to work with, who the teachers were going to be, who the movement coach was going to be, who the voice coach was going to be. I mean, there was so much more to it than I knew. I just thought you got up there and winged it. And it wasn't, it was just, I was happy to learn that it was exactly like playing a professional sport. It was exactly the same principles.

had to be taken care of. Like you had to train and you had to eat in a specific way and you had to be with the specific coaches that were the top, at the top and could teach you and accelerate your training. And that's what I did. And I saved all my money from football and I used it for 15 years to get me to a place where I thought in 15 years, if I did what Al said to do, then I could be the top guy.

And basically, John, he told me exactly what you would tell me, which is, he said, Bo, basically, your ass, your feet are going to be planted on a stage in a theater more than anyone else in the next 15 years.

And you're going to be up there rehearsing, sweating, working through the text, trying to decipher Shakespeare, trying to move authentically, trying to get a better, stronger resident voice. And if you do that for 15 years, then chances are you're probably going to be the top of the heap because no one else will do that.

And I said, you know what, Al? I happen to be really good with those kind of timelines. And I'm just thinking of one lesson for your listeners right now is that, you know what? And I tell my kids this all the time. You know what? I don't know if they believe me. I don't know if anyone believes this, but I always knew since I was a kid that if I didn't stop whatever this declaration was at the time, if I just didn't stop

Like I stayed loyal to it and only it. I somehow knew that no one else would. I somehow knew that despite my abilities, despite my shortcomings, if you give me that long, that big of a runway, I'm probably gonna be the best at that given the 15 years. And I didn't talk about this earlier when I had the declaration of being the best safety. All the way up growing up,

There were certain things I didn't do growing up. Like I didn't go to the prom, right? Because in my little 15 year old, 16 year old mind, I thought that was a conflict of me being the best safety. I thought that ran against being the best safety. So I didn't go to the prom. I didn't drink. There were certain things I didn't do going on dates.

That I knew all the other safeties were probably who wanted to be the best safety growing up in whatever city they lived in. I thought they were going to the prom and that's where I would get ahead of them. Well, I still, I had a very simple mind in my late 20s.

And I did the same thing in the entertainment business. I just said, I'm going to train more than anyone else can train. I'm going to be on a stage more than anyone else can be on a stage. And I'm not going to have any conflicting interests. And so I wasn't searching for an acting career. I wasn't trying to get an agent. I was trying to be the best on stage. And I figured if I was, then...

it like Al Pacino if you're the best on stage chances are people are going to come calling and saying hey can you do this hey can I hire you for this and that is exactly what happened so 15 years later after meeting Al Pacino 15 years later I'm on stage

on Broadway and off Broadway in front of an audience of a play that I wrote, that I was the playwright of, and that I'm the only guy in. So it's a play I wrote and I'm the only guy in, and I'd never written a play in my life. I'd never written anything in my life other than English papers. I wrote a play. It was a one-man play, opened in New York, ran forever, went on a 50-city tour. It got bought as a movie.

And that play, because I took the time to be great at that play and hired people around me to make sure to hold me accountable and to make sure I was authentic and great at the performance. 15 years later, I'm in a house in New York City, opening night, critics are in there. I am so nervous.

I've never been this nervous and I've gone up against 350 pound dudes. They were like cupcakes compared to the critics in New York. So I was going out. I went out on opening night. I did the play and right in the, on the aisle in the fifth row was Al Pacino sitting there watching me do a play that I'm the only guy in.

And I remembered like looking at him going, shit, that is Al Pacino. And I'm trying to remember my lines while saying, wow, I can't believe Al Pacino came to my play. It was like these two things going on at once. And all he did, all I remember him doing was he had his arms crossed like this as he sat there and he just was watching the play. And he just went like this, just nodded his head.

And that was the moment, man, that was the best review that I ever got. It was like as if he was saying, kid, you did what you said you were going to do and you did. And here you are right here where everyone is out to murder you in print because you're a football player thinking you can write a play and bring it to New York City and actually perform it. And that play was a huge success.

success, not only for my development, but it made me a screenwriter. I got bought as a movie, so I got to write the screenplay. I got to write several other screenplays for other movie stars because of that. And I never saw myself as a writer, but it turns out I knew how to tell a story. And that's basically that play saved my ass, John, because I

I was really nervous. I was scared, you know, I was scared because I was great at one thing. And that one thing did not translate well to the civilian world. So the ability to express myself on a page and the ability for this instrument that my coaches built to be able to express this thing in a storytelling manner, it gave me forever, ever since that day, a voice that

to share my own self, to share the expression of what I feel inside this body. And I was really good at that as a football player. Like athletes, elite athletes are really excellent at expressing their physical body on a field or on a court. And I wasn't good at expressing myself verbally. I was pretty good physically, but not great verbally. And that's what I learned.

And once those two things matched, like the physicality and the verbal, it really set me free. Like it gave me like a sense of health and a sense that, wow, this art form that I have mastered can't be taken away from me. Like a knee surgery cannot take it away from me. I'm going to do this for the rest of my life. And then it turned into me learning.

teaching people to do it. People would come to the play, John, and mostly people come to plays and they want to come backstage and meet you as a performer or as a writer. But no one wanted to meet me in that way. The people who came backstage to meet me, and this was over 17 years, the people who came backstage were business owners, were CEOs of the biggest companies in New York City and in the world.

They were coming backstage and they weren't there to say, Hey, can I get a picture with you? Hey, you're really great performer. What they wanted to know was how did you do that? And can you teach my people to do that? What you just did. And that's how I began to train people, business people, salespeople, doctors, financial advisors.

I trained them to do what I did on stage, which is basically to tell my own story and have a connection, physically have a connection with other human beings. Well, these business people wanted it because if you can do what I did, you can make a lot more money for that company. You can build your own company based on the ability to physically and verbally share yourself.

And that's what built trust. And that's what they knew. So that's how that whole career started as me training people to do what I did best. So I'll pause. To love and to cherish. To love and to itch. I mean, cherish. Sweetie. For as long as we both shall live. For as long as we both shall itch. Sorry. Thanks.

From this day forward. Look, I'm sorry. I just can't do this itch. If you have eczema, Michael, you know that itch is a four-letter word. Learn about reducing that offensive eczema itch fast at fourletteritch.com. Bo, one of the things that I love about this story with Al Pacino is I understand that, and maybe it was this 15-year point because you hadn't seen him from the time he gave you advice until that point.

But at some point you're having a conversation with them and you ask him, how many other people have you helped to do? How many other people have you helped in the same way you helped me? And his answer was no one. He goes, people always come to me and they want to be famous and they want money and they want this and that. But what you wanted was different. You wanted to be the best that you could possibly be. And he leaned in and told you that. And I think it's an interesting conversation.

story about how we need to ask for help because you need to ask it in the right way. Had you asked it differently, I doubt he would have given you the same advice. Do you think that's true? I 100% think that's true. Everybody requests things of people who are successful, like, can you introduce me to important people? Can you fund my project?

Can you introduce me to your agent? Can you get me a movie part? Well, somehow I knew that a movie part was not going to help me. What was going to help me take care of my whole life was being the best at something. So I always chase the best rather than the money. But what I quickly understood was that when you were the best, the money actually comes because you

It's pretty rare that somebody is the best at something and is dedicated to that or takes the time to master something. And here's another thing I learned, John, was those famous people, the people who are actually in position to help you, I swear, they're the most generous people.

They are, you just don't know they are. They're so generous because there's no way they could reach the height that they're in without being generous. They can't.

If they're a dick, they ain't going to the top. It just, in my experience, it doesn't happen. Al Pacino is a great dude. But if I went to him and said, hey, Al, can you give me a little small part in your next movie? Now, that would have been fun to do, right? But he would have looked at me just like I was any dude coming down the pipe. And yeah, I could do that. But is that really going to help your life?

A small movie part, it's not gonna help you. I tell you the miles to run and then you run them. And then you'll be valuable to every movie maker, to every stage, to everywhere you go because you have the ability to perform. You have the ability and you've mastered something. And here's the one thing I've learned about mastery is if you master one thing in your life, you master all things.

Master one, master all. And people just don't, I don't think they believe it because they don't want to do it. They don't. And I mastered a position called safety, but that mastering of that position, which is, it's completely unrelated, but I'm a great husband. I've mastered what it is to be a great husband and a great dad because of the training I had for those years of

attempting to be the best safety. It's the same principles. It's the same exact principle. Playwright. People like New York Times called me like one of the most powerful playwrights in the last decade, right? The only reason they said that, you guys, the only reason I became a good playwright was because I mastered what it took to be a great safety. That was it.

I knew the principles were exactly the same and I just repeated these principles over and over in my life and it turns out it works in every field. So say today, John, you and me decided, hey, let's start a new declaration together. John, how about we become the best ballet dancers in the world and we give ourselves 20 years. Now,

The principles would be exactly the same as playwright, as safety, as podcaster. Once you master a thing, then your timelines get shorter because of the principles, the miles to run. And that's what I'm always training, not only my kids, but my clients. I always want the people that I'm training to be great presenters.

And they think it's going to take a long time. And I always ask them, well, what, where are you going in this time? Are you dying? Are you going to die? Or are you going to live for the next few years so we can master this thing? And they're like, no, I'm going to be alive. I'm like, okay, cool. We got time then. So relax. Let's learn this thing. Let's master this thing. That way you're completely in control of your own life.

Because if I can control the stories that I tell and the ability to move people, then I always get paid for that. There's always somebody wanting to invest, wanting to pay, wanting to be in because no one does it well. They do it. They just don't do it well. Imagine if a politician did this well, they'd be really dangerous.

Right. They're just they're really bad at this, which keeps them powerful, weak, like no one trusts them anymore. If you notice, no one trusts them anymore because they're just no good at being them, at being authentic and being able to tell a story that is tried and true. They really are bad at that.

And thank God they are because we put them in a little cupboard over here and we go, okay, you're a politician. I don't believe anything you say. And not only do I not believe it, no one believes it. And so they have a certain amount of power and that power just keeps dissipating as our world goes forward. And people in our department who could actually express themselves authentically coming directly from their heart and

Well, we become the powerful. We actually flip the script on our so-called leaders. And now we are the leaders because we're better communicators. We're just better at being us. Now, I'm not saying we're more polished. That's not what I'm saying. I'm saying we're more real. I'm saying we're more trustworthy. And that's

My big push now, that's really where I'm headed now in training people, because I just I think the whole leadership model is bankrupt. And it's I feel it. I can feel it in my own life. It's bankrupt. And I keep looking around for another leader to show up because I'm a good player. So I like following leaders. And I realized a few years back that there's just nobody coming.

No one's coming. So why don't I take the lead? Why don't you take the lead, John? And why don't my clients and my family, why don't we take the lead? And that's a big responsibility that really nobody wants, but too bad. That's how it is nowadays. That's how it's going to have to go. So along those lines, Bo, a lot of people...

are out there and they have powerful stories, but they don't think their story is worth telling. What's your advice for someone on how they could maybe use their lowest moment and use that moment to create their story of victory and turn it into a powerful narrative? You guys, just so everybody knows, including me, including John, no one thinks they have a powerful story.

You just don't go around going, wow, I got a really powerful story. No one thinks that of themselves. Do you know why that is? It's because over your lifetime, so I'm 63. So my stories of planes being the best safety in the world, that took 20 years to come into fruition. So I initially didn't think that was a powerful story. Who's going to care about me at nine years old having a dream about

And then fulfilling on that dream 20 years later. Does anybody really care? Because I was thinking personally, it's me. It's 20 years. It seems like a boring life. I didn't go to the prom. I missed a lot of parties. I missed a lot of fun stuff because I was doing my safety training.

It seems our lives seem mundane to us because it takes a long time for these stories to develop. But after 20 years, you look back and you go, wow, I used to think who would give a crap about me and my little plan? Well, you know how what it turned out to be? Everybody cares about my plan.

Everybody who's ever heard the story cares about my dreams and my 20 year plan. Everybody cares and is inspired by somebody who sticks with that dedication for that long and brings it into existence. Everybody. Well, I thought no one cared because it seemed boring to me because I just did it. It was my life. Well, same for you. You think that when your mom died,

You had a dream of being a pop star, say, and one day your mom was driving you to choir practice and you're sitting in the backseat and you're singing your lungs out. And your mom turns around and says, you know what, sweetheart, you're the worst singer I've ever heard. Which parents sometimes do that, right? It's not the greatest parenting, I wouldn't think, but it's what they do.

Well, that moment to a kid, 13, that is the most painful moment of your life. Now, you've worked through that by now as an adult, but that's where I always start my students.

The people that work with me, they always say, well, Bo, that's not an interesting story. My mom just said that to me. And I say, well, what did you say? What did you do right after your mom said, because you're the one with the dream of being a pop star, and then your mom says, you're the worst singer in America, you did something next. You said something to yourself. You decided something next.

for yourself in that moment, in that car. What was it? And that is their defining moment. It's a moment that defines you for the rest of your life. And you have these defining moments all throughout your life. But the really dark ones, the ones that hurt the most, those are the most powerful.

And it's usually at an age between nine and 12, usually. Not all the time, but those are usually the powerful ones. Like mine, just so you know, every elite athlete on the planet, Michael Jordan, Tom Brady, me, we all have the same story. Our story goes like this. I was cut from my high school basketball team. That's Michael Jordan's story. So Michael Jordan is the greatest basketball player ever to play the game,

Yet he was cut from his high school basketball team, not once, but twice. How could that be? That is his defining moment story. It is the story that defined him for the rest of his life.

Tom Brady, same story, just in football, right? No one wants him. No one likes him. He is defined by not a very good quarterback. And now we know him as the greatest quarterback of all time because he decided to change things through pain of his defining moment. You suck. You're no good.

He defined himself as the greatest quarterback and lived it into existence. I did that. Every elite athlete does that. Well, everyone who's accomplished, like all of you listening right now, say you're a doctor, say you're a doctor of note, you're a well-known doctor. The only reason you are is because you had a defining moment story. And that defining moment story is

It could be you got an F the first day of medical school. It could be that you were told you were stupid and you wouldn't amount to anything as a child. Those, you guys, are the most powerful thing you've got. I don't care what your education is. I don't care what your resume says. Your defining moment story came from pain, a lot of pain. When I got cut from Little League, I never had that much pain in my life, never.

And I decided in that moment as a kid, I'm never going to get cut again. No one's going to send me home ever again. And guess what? You guys, that made me a pro athlete. That made me get paid a lot of money. Just that decision. Those are called defining moment stories. That's what I train people to learn about themselves. And no one wants to tell it for one, because of what John said, they don't think it's important. They don't think people

want to know that story. Everybody wants to know that story. So think about this in your life. Everybody think about this right now. The great you what's your favorite movie? Just think about what it is. What's your top three favorite movies? I guarantee you every one of them started the first frame of film started at the lowest moment a defining moment. Everyone if it's Rocky guess where Rocky starts. He's a bum.

Rocky's a bum. He's shaking down old men for change, right? But what is he at the end of the movie? He's the heavyweight champion of the world. You guys, that is a defining moment. He is a bum fighter. His desire is to be the heavyweight champion. Your story is no different than that. That is what great storytelling is all about.

So if this is why I train people to start at their lowest moment and tell me what that was, the one where there was no answers for you, that moment is the moment that you decided you were going to take matters into your own hands. That is all human beings are interested in. We reward courage.

And since time, and this is the only thing that's been rewarded since time is courage. So if you're at the lowest moment and there's no answers for you, you have to have courage to decide and define yourself as having a dream and then getting after it. Just like Michael Jordan, just like Tom Brady, just like me, just like Rocky, just like you.

Once you have this story, then we rehearse it and we physically attach it to your humanity. Because, you know, here's the truth of the matter. People believe about 50% of what comes out of your mouth. That's the statistics. That's the science. Science tells us that people believe 50% of what comes out of your mouth. But people believe your body, this physical instrument that we all have, works.

people believe your body 100% of the time because the body cannot lie. The body cannot lie. So my workshops are all about finding this most valuable story that you have. And then I bring in my movement coach, the guy who taught me to be on stage physically with a presence. And then we attach this verbal story

to your solar plexus, to your molecules. So now this instrument, the greatest instrument that God ever created as far as expression goes, is the human body. Well, we want this body expressing the exact story that you're telling. And I have found

That this is how people, all of my clients, including myself, have built their businesses, have built their companies, have built their brands based on a defining moment story of pain. Isn't that wild? You would think it would be the opposite, but it always starts there. Then once people trust you, which they will because physically they not trust your body. Understand that?

People have to trust your body because your body cannot lie. That's why it's important for me and for you is to attach this story to a physicality, to our body. This is why you trust animals no matter what. You trust babies, little kids,

no matter what, because they're so physical in front of you. They're so unapologetic physically that you must keep your eyes on them and you must trust them. Well, that's all we train to do in my workshops so that all my people get the trust. All my people can then raise the funds or build their business, however big or small that they want to, but they're in control. I'm in control of my business.

that's the freedom I would like everybody to have. Because once I was given that freedom and trained to do this, that's what I've experienced is just like this freedom of movement and a voice and of dreams. This is what I want to build. Can somebody help me build this? Here's my story. And they follow the story. And then they build the business with you. It's very cool.

It's a very cool story, Bowen. I typically, in probably 50% of my episodes, start with a question that I ask the guest. I always say, we all have moments that define us. What is a moment that has defined you? Oh, wow. Yeah. It's interesting. I would say only about 20% of them can answer the question. The vast majority try to take it

Try to tackle it in a way that doesn't show vulnerability, that doesn't show a low point. It's almost like that interview question you get, what's your biggest weakness? Instead of really leaning into it, telling it with emotion, eliciting empathy so you get people on your side, then talking about your journey through it, then how you come out on the other side and what you learn from it.

And that to me is what good storytelling is. It's really what we see in a lot of the movies where you've got this hero story and they're really going through the journey of that person, going through that vulnerable moment, learning from it, and then the inner work, the inner journey they do on the other side of it. That's to me what makes some of the best stories out there. That is 100%. And just a quick tip for everybody.

Usually your best story is the one you don't want to tell. Isn't that funny to say? Like there's all, there's a lot of stories that we want to tell, right? Like about, oh, I won the championship. Look at my trophy. Like I'm sure Tom Brady loves telling that story. Look, I won seven Super Bowls. I want to know the lowest moment Tom Brady's ever had.

Because that's the one that has the most connective tissue to it. There's a reason why a guy wins seven Super Bowls. It is pain. It is not from joy. It is not from fun. It is not from any of that. It is from pain that he felt as a kid when they cut him, when they said, you're no good. You're not a good player. You can't play here.

Same story we all have. That's the story we're interested in Tom Brady, because can you really connect to another human being based on a trophy? You cannot. You can only connect through pain. It is the most intimate. It is the most, this vulnerability that John's talking about, that pain makes you vulnerable. Well, that is the greatest connective tissue that human beings have.

It's embarrassment. It is shame. It is I'm reluctant to tell that, to share that. That is the story for you. You got to know this. Think, everybody do this. We're going to do a 10 second exercise. The first one's five seconds. Think of your greatest moment of your life. Five seconds. Think of it right now. Greatest moment of your life. Proudest moment of your life. Five seconds. Go. Everybody got it? Good.

Forget about that one. It's not a good story. It sucks as a story. No one can connect to that. Here's another five second exercise. Think of your lowest moment, the one where you looked around and there were no answers for you. Five seconds, go. That's your story.

That's the one. That's the one that connects you to human beings. The other one doesn't work. It doesn't work. We don't, that would be like this. They start the movie of climbing Mount Everest. Say we're making a movie of climbing Mount Everest. Do we start on the top of the mountain? Does the movie begin with us on top of Mount Everest planting the flag?

waving with our successes. No, it does not start there, does it? No story starts there. The movie starts us looking up at the top of the summit and saying, there's no way in hell we can make it. And there's dead bodies all around us. That's where you start a story. No one's interested in your success. They're only interested in the climb. That's it. That's what connects us to human beings.

That's why you got to start at your lowest moment.

And I just want to end on this whole note of us talking about Tom Brady, because you're right. I think the story that is the most amazing one that I've heard him talk about is his story when he was at the University of Michigan. He's in his sophomore year. He's number six on the depth chart, and he's ready to throw in the towel. The coaches are telling him he has all these issues with his mechanics, with this, with that. He's about ready to head back to California, and he meets a mentor who is

tells him he's got to work on the mechanics. He's not trying hard enough. He's not outworking people. He's not doing everything that he can do. And he basically says, how will you feel about yourself if you didn't do everything that you possibly could to become the best? And it started this whole, if I'm telling the story right, this whole new way of him thinking where from that point forward, he was going to out-practice everyone. He was going to out-technique everyone. He was going to

try to learn like a sponge everything that he possibly could, try to break all the illusions that he had to get back to the fundamentals and to train himself to be the best. And I think people can resonate with that story because we've all had those low moments in our life where we wanted to give up. And it's really that perseverance. That's the story that people want to hear. Here's why people go to the theater.

This is why you go to the theater. I heard a movie star say this once. It was a lady movie star. And she said this, people don't come to the theater to see me. They come to the theater to see themselves.

That is so accurate, you guys. No one goes to an event. No one goes to a speech. No one comes to a podcast to see me or to see John. You're here to see yourself. And the only way you can find yourself is through my story or John's story. And that's what you relate to. So you see yourselves inside of yourself.

Well, I'm the guest on this podcast. So you're seeing yourself through my journey. I'm telling you stories of my dad. Well, you're not thinking of my dad. You're thinking of your dad. The more personal your stories are, the more effect you have, because here's what it does. It puts people inside of their own life.

And that's where people want to be. They go to the theater to see themselves, not the actor, not the actor. But if the actor can put me in my life, he gets rewarded forever. So think about that. You guys, your stories are not selfish. They are personal and they mean something to you. The more they mean to you, the more they mean to the audience.

So you're giving your audience the greatest reward you can give to any audience, which is to put them into their own life, which is where they want to be. And they see themselves through your life, through your story, through your dreams. They see their dreams. Do you see how this works? There's this term that was invented a couple of decades ago, and I hate it.

And people use it all the time when they speak or when they tell a story. They preface their story by saying, well, I'm going to tell you a story. It's not about me.

They'll say this term, it's not about me. Well, right then you should run out of the room because that's going to be a crappy story of narcissism. Don't use that term. It's not about me. If you tell a personal story, you are giving your audience the greatest reward you can ever give, which is putting them in their own lives. That's what I want. That's where people go wrong.

That's why they sound like they're bragging. They sound like narcissists because they're trying to prove that they're not bragging. You don't have to brag. Just share your life. Share your dad. Share your grandmother. Share your child. And if you do that,

You put them in their own life and now you're on the same wavelength. Now you have trust. Now you have intimacy. Something that our leadership model right now cannot have, does not have, which is why trust is so loved. But you and me, we get to have it. We get to rebuild the trust that's been eroded over time by these idiots.

Because they don't know what they're doing. We do. We know how to share ourselves. It's through pain. It's through the pain of that lowest moment story that defined you. That's how we do it. And once you do that, you guys, you can take your people, your audience, whether it's virtual or it's one person at a time, or when you're in a big arena speaking to people, you get to take them wherever you want to take them because they trust you.

And they don't trust the rest of the world. Remember how you used to trust every doctor that you met? Remember how you used to trust everybody who spoke in front of a podium or behind a podium? You believed them. You trusted them. You did what they said. You don't do that anymore. You don't do it anymore. Think about it. You don't. You go, I don't know. You don't trust them because they're not trustworthy because they don't share themselves. And they certainly don't share their lowest moment.

which is the only thing we can connect to. Bo, today was such a fascinating conversation. I feel like I'm going to have you on for a part two because I think there's so much left on the table we didn't get to cover. But thank you so much for joining us today. So much valuable insight through your stories and your wisdom. Thank you so much. Yes, you're welcome. It was a pleasure for me. It's great. Well, I'd love to have you back in the future and for the audience again.

I'll put it in the show notes, but please check out Bo's book. And if you're interested in public speaking, I highly encourage you to check out YouTube's of Bo speaking on stage because he's been to so many events like Mindvalley where he's been picked the number one speaker at their conferences. And there's a reason. And it gets down to the authentic storytelling that he's been talking about this entire episode. So thank you again, Bo. Joe.

John, you're welcome. And John, I'd love to put something in the chat for you guys too. Just a number they can text and I'll send them a video where I train people how to uncover their signature story, their defining moment story. So everybody listening can watch that video and go, oh, okay, I'll give you some prompts. You can start to write it. You can start to understand what that story is for you and then start using it. Okay.

Yep, absolutely. I'll put that in the show notes for all the viewers and listeners. Thank you for that. Okay, great. Thanks, John.

Where's the best place that people can go to learn more about you? I mean, that's actually a really good place. Boeason.com is my website. It's got all the programs that I do. I do some live stuff, three-day events. I'd love to have some of your audience come and work on their story and physically embody their story with my movement coach. It's a very powerful event called Personal Story Power, which we do in La Jolla twice a year for three days.

And I'd love to have you guys come and learn this powerful story so you can start using it. Plus, you get to go to La Jolla. I used to live in San Diego. It doesn't get much prettier than that. Man, you know what? That's what most of the people that come to La Jolla are like, oh, my gosh, there are seals on the beach right next to the theater that we do our event in. It's so beautiful and so cool. Well, thank you again, Bob. You're welcome, John.

What an incredible conversation with Bo Eason. His journey from the NFL to the stage and beyond is a masterclass in resilience storytelling and the relentless pursuit of excellence. Bo's insights on declaring your identity and crafting a personal story that connects on a deeper level offer a game-changing approach to personal and professional growth. The lessons he shared about pushing past our limitations, embracing vulnerability, and channeling

our life experiences into our unique narrative. Remind us that each of us has a story worth sharing. So as you reflect on today's episode, ask yourself, what parts of your story are you willing to own and share to inspire others and build trust? How can you put in the sweat equity to make your dreams a reality as Bo has done time and time again? Remember, the best legacies are built not from perfection, but from authenticity, dedication, and a commitment to always be improving.

All the links to Bo's work, including this book, There's No Plan B for Your A-Game, will be in the show notes at passionstruck.com. Please use the links if you're purchasing books from our guests. It helps support the show. You can also find our videos on YouTube and check out all our advertiser deals and discount codes at passionstruck.com slash deals. Please consider supporting those who support the show. And as for me, you can

Connect with me on Twitter and Instagram at John R. Miles or on LinkedIn. I'd love to hear from you. To dive even deeper, head over to passionstruck.com and take the Passion Struck quiz, where you can explore how you're progressing in living your most intentional life. And if you haven't yet, join our Live Intentionally newsletter to receive our weekly courage challenge, a

practical way to bring these insights to life with actionable steps you can take each week. You can find it on passionstruck.com. If today's episode resonated with you, please leave a five-star rating and review and share it with someone who could benefit. Sharing these conversations makes a tremendous difference, not just for the show, but for our community as well. And for those of you interested in diving deeper, I also invite you to explore my speaking engagements. If your organization is ready to unlock potential and inspire intentional action, reach out to learn more about book

Thank you.

in-out framework for impactful speaking and uncover the power of embracing your true voice. I absolutely agree. Your role is one way of defining what you do, but it may not always be very clear. So for me, it always comes down to who's asking you the question and what context and who's going to be at the receiving end.

But making sure that you're actually talking about what you actually accomplish, what are the outcomes of the work that you do. So for example, I help people become the best speakers they can be.

That probably means more to someone versus me saying I'm a public speaking coach. Thank you as always for your time and attention. Remember, the fee for this show is simple. If you found value in today's episode, share it with someone who could benefit. And as always, do your best to apply what you learn here so you can live what you listen. Until next time, live life passion struck.

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