What A Weekday: Cannes You Believe It? feat. Matt Rogers
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Hi, I'm Stacey Abrams, host of the brand new Crooked podcast, Assembly Required with Stacey Abrams. Each week, we'll work together to better understand one of those big issues that seems insurmountable. Whether it's the Electoral College, America's loneliness epidemic, or the future of Hollywood post-strikes, I'll challenge you to dig in and ask, how do we get here? What obstacles lie ahead? And what can we do to get good done? Are you in?

Episodes of Assembly Required with Stacey Abrams are available starting August 15th. Head to your favorite audio platform and subscribe now so you never miss an episode.

Hey, it's Lovett. Before we get to the show, a few housekeeping notes. Pod Save America is going on the road with our Democracy or Else tour with stops in Brooklyn, Boston, Madison, Ann Arbor, Phoenix, and Philadelphia. Lovett or Leave It will also be on tour crisscrossing the country to make you laugh and to help me work off some of my election year nervous energy so I don't chew up all the couch cushions. In a sense, sometimes, yeah. Tickets are on sale now. Head to cricket.com slash events to grab yours today. Now, let's get into it.

I have an Elantra. Would you like it? I might name my daughter after it. Love it. Don't you think Elantra is kind of a fantastic name for a daughter? It is really. It is pretty good. Couldn't afford a car, so she named her daughter Alexis. There you go. I got my twins, Elantra and Sonata. Yeah.

This is Hyundai humor with Matt Rogers. Just kidding. I am Matt Rogers, though. Good morning, good afternoon, whenever. Because you can really listen to it whenever. That's the thing about podcasts. That's the beauty of the internet. But I'm holding a cup of coffee in my hand, so I'm unable to say anything but good morning. I am so happy to be here. I'm filling in for... Who normally does this? I don't know. I'm actually not a guy. I don't know. Okay, then I guess we'll just leave it. I don't see anyone beneath 5'8".

No, there you go. I mean, we're all here. The important crew is here. This is head writer Halle, producer Kendra, producer Chris, and this is What a Weekday. Can I actually reveal something to you guys right now? Yes, please. So do you remember, like, so just peek behind the curtain, little BTS for everybody. There's a prep call that happens. Do you know, do you want to guess where I was when you called me for the prep call? Because I said, I can't get on Zoom. I'm going to be mobile. I said I was going to be mobile. Do you want to guess where I was?

A bookmobile. I was at Disneyland California Adventure. It was during the parade. I had to run into pizza pasta in order to take this prep call.

I didn't know at all. You wouldn't know because I was deeply embarrassed. I was like, should I lie to them and say I'm taking my little cousin? I went with two other adult gay men. Do you know how many adults leave this office to go to Disney World like every month? I'm obsessed and I knew I came to the right place. My last vacation was at Disney World. 100%. Okay, I love this. No, that sounds great. I'm really happy that you didn't hear the sounds of parade in the background.

background i wouldn't have expected anything less from you honestly and i honestly that's why i'm showing up here in my truth i was like this will be a good reveal for for on air and if anything about this episode today seems disneyfied sorry and that is my fault should we get into it yes yes here we go

Last week, Rudy Giuliani gleefully taunted authorities celebrating that he had so far successfully dodged being served his indictment in Arizona's fake elector case. He's sort of like Leonardo DiCaprio in Catch Me If You Can, if the sight of Leonardo DiCaprio made you cry, throw up, and doubt that anything will ever be okay again. You may not like it, but this is Legally a Smile.

Oh, God. That's like, you remember, that's like on Friends when Chandler, like, you know the episode where, like, he took a picture and Chandler did, like, an insane face because he can't smile? That's, like, that's Rudy Giuliani all the time. I thought you were going to reference when Ross bleaches his teeth and then they become glow- It's sort of the love child of Ross and Chandler. That's what I've always said about Rudy. If they, like, made it with, like, a bat or something. He's got the Tom Cruise center tooth.

Oh, wow. I've never noticed it before. See, can I just say, so far we've put Rudy Giuliani's name in the sentence with Leonardo DiCaprio and Tom Cruise, and it's like, are we doing good work here? Giuliani posted a now-deleted tweet on Friday, writing,

Rudy talks a big game for someone who leaves a visible slime trail. This would have been a really good opportunity for him to book the wrong venue, like four seasons, total landscaping or whatever it was like, this was the time to not be in the right place. Yeah, exactly. Yeah. I,

I would agree. It's like also the number of people currently hiding out in Florida. People are going around on TikTok finding Diddy in the Whole Foods. I knew Diddy was in Miami before he started popping up on TMZ. Giuliani was going to be found.

They keep having videos of like Bolsonaro just like in Florida. We didn't we didn't include it because it just happened. But apparently Rudy Giuliani today launched a coffee brand and just put out a commercial. What? And there is something where it's like as their lives fall apart, they must engage in a my pillow style start like a new business. It's almost like as the as his life leaves his body, the business emerges from it. I love it. Honestly, this is the only thing about him I respect.

The merciless brand. Come on now. And then there's something about like the man of the 80s where it's like, I am a business. Like I have nothing else. I have erased my humanity, but I will still sell. I just think what a horrible association to make. Like I don't think Julianne, I want to be more conscious. Yeah, exactly. That's the last thing I want. More things that I say should be clearer, louder,

Yeah. Set with more impressions. We don't need him to have any more energy. No. We gave him, we did, like we said, we gave him a whole year, year and a half of walking around speaking everything through a megaphone. Mm-hmm. We allowed that. Mm-hmm. And he is like a cup of coffee. He's bitter. He's stinky. Yeah.

There's brown liquid constantly coming out of him. Like, I get the association. I also just think his way of hiding out in Florida is so boring. Just like, what, hanging out in Palm Beach? Like, why is he not in a swamp? Like, like, riding around in a swamp with a fan bow?

Get out of Banbo. I have a great idea. I know a place that's called the Everglades. I'll introduce you to some alligators. Just roll it around with the snakes. Right. Drinking moonshine. At this point, though, not to be macabre. Please do. But, like, maybe the Florida alligator death is a good one for Giuliani. I mean, like, you know, I'm becoming a god at this point. Like, let's end it with a bang. You need to go out. Yeah, you need to go out.

in a way that's going to make us forget everything else. 100%. Yeah. Wipe the slate clean. I'm all for it. I'm all for it too. How did you guys feel about Taylor Swift having a song called Florida? That's one of the songs on that album that I liked. I'm going to say a nice thing about- We talk shit about Taylor Swift every episode and I'll do it again. So you guys got that out of the way before it came? Let me say that that is a song that I actually enjoyed and I enjoyed it because I think it's a different producer than the person she's normally working with.

And I also really like Florence Welch and I enjoy that one song. Yeah. I mean, but now you've got Florida people being like Florida is one hell of a drug. So the line in the song is Florida one hell of a drug. And I feel like if anything goes with like a hang 10 sign, it's, it's, it's that line. Like this, it's, it's going to make Florida people very Florida. Yeah.

I also want to say for our listeners, I don't hate Taylor Swift, but I do think I do hate Jack Antonoff. I think that's actually what I'm a real fan of. What did he do to you? He made the same song. It is dozens of the same song. Get him out of here. Get someone new in there. I love his Bruce Springsteen cover band. I think it's perfect. Okay, well.

I'll take the boss, the original boss himself. Thank you. No, I say that with love. Like I genuinely, nothing makes me happier than putting on a Bleachers album, sitting down and writing some pages. It's great. I love to bop around and pretend I'm in love, Simon. Because I didn't get to do that when I was in high school. That's a really good point. And now whenever I listen to Bleachers, I'm in high school, I'm gay, and it's all right. That's how I feel. I'm bopping around and I feel like the sky is pink.

enjoy this we just said howie and i we came around we we didn't know all that and we found it here on this episode absolutely it certainly wasn't happening on the lewis fortel hosted episode lovely positive no i didn't listen i hear enough from him in our group thread i don't need you are correct

I do hear enough from him in the group thread. Can it, Missy. And we were saying, since we're on the topic of music, we were saying that Sabrina Carpenter's Espresso is the song of the summer. There's no other song I know of. That's all I listen to. No, I think you have to wait until Bodyguard is officially released.

When is that? You mean as a single? Excuse me? Well, you say it's officially released. When would it be officially released? Like, as a single. As a single. Oh, okay. Do we think that's a Cowboy Carter single? Because Two Most Wanted is out there right now. Two Most Wanted is out right now. I think the smart thing to do is release Bodyguard next. And then, for me, Tyrant is the perfect entrance into Virgo season. I think you're right. Also, you know what's so crazy about all these pop girlies? Like,

announcing albums at the same time like the presidential candidates are not campaigning but the girls are yeah you know what i mean like these girls have to be very political with the single releases marching towards the grammys at the end of the year what's gonna be the fight song this year oh baby i don't know is there like you mean like a fight song like like like that song fight song

like one that oh for these elections yeah like a presidential candidate picks it and then we can never listen to it again exactly there's nothing more triggering than hearing fight song yeah like a small boat in the ocean it's supposed to be hopeful i think but it's not yeah

God, we all will sit here in silence for the next three minutes really just pondering that. I think either one of them could take up Chapel Rowan's Good Luck Babe. I feel like it's a very good luck babe election. I'd feel really bad for her. No, they don't know anything. They wouldn't, where would they even hear such a thing? What do you mean? One of my friends' mom. Where would either of them hear any pop music? She was just on NPR a few weekends ago and I got a lot of mom texts from her.

About Chapel Roan? Yes. That's where my mom also finds out about pop music. From NPR? She was on Wait, Wait, Don't Tell Me. Shout out. A smart move. Yeah. A very smart move. Yeah. Because I think she can remind people of Cyndi Lauper. Mm-hmm. That's very much the vibe. That's absolutely. Producer Chris, are you a big Chapel Roan fan? I'm going to be honest. I don't know shit about music. Okay. What are you

Yeah, what are you listening to? Are you a cinephile? Yeah, I'm more movies. I'm like really nerdy shit. I just watched Shrek 2 over the weekend. Shrek 2? A masterpiece. The best Shrek movie. The 20th anniversary. Yeah, it just happened. Wow. Was it the 20th anniversary of Shrek? It was. Everyone's talking about it because it was the anniversary. Yeah, I just watched it out of pure coincidence. Didn't realize it was the 20th anniversary. I just want to say something. It was the 20th anniversary of Shrek, and that wasn't number one on the topical news items list at Yeltsin.

me. We're sorry about that. Unbelievable. It's like you get lost culturistas in here and then you totally ignore the cult culture. I believe it's the 20th anniversary of Shrek 2. I don't know if that counts. I don't know if that's quite as high on the list. Because we are all listeners, we know that you and Bowen are excavating years, so we wanted to save that for you. Also, Matt, we could do it on Thursday. Listen. Shrek.

Should we just, as a bit with one of our guests, which included Rachel Bloom, maybe Rachel Bloom, maybe we'll do just a Shrek 2 themed segment. I am so here for that. I have to say, I think she'd be really into it. I think so. If we told Rachel Bloom, hey, on Thursday, we're thinking a segment for you. We know you've got a lot going on. It's the 20th anniversary of Shrek 2. We should dive in. I think she'd be like,

Hell yeah. Yeah. Now you're really getting BTS. We're all thinking Shrek 2 for Rachel Bloom. But now that I think about her personality, she might be a Monsters, Inc. girly. Okay, I can see that. All right. I can see that. We can put that into news. There's layoffs at Pixar happening right now. Absolutely. Oh, yeah. Layoffs are happening as we speak, no matter what industry it is. You said it. Sarah's getting actually the claw. She's got her real finger out of the room right now. Oh, my God. Bye.

Okay, enough of this. Enough of this. Listen, less than two hours after he said this, Rudy was served his indictment papers at his 80th birthday party in Palm Beach, Florida. At least someone served at that party because I know this man did it. Definition of not serving. Early reports said Giuliani was so angry he went into, quote, gator mode. But later it turned out eating raw chicken in a dirty swimming pool is kind of just part of his routine. You got to eat.

Said Giuliani spokesman Ted Goodman, the mayor was unfazed by the decision to try and embarrass him during his 80th birthday party. He enjoyed an incredible evening with hundreds of people who love him from all walks of life. And we look forward to full vindication soon.

The party was a real who's who of Palm Beach, featuring everyone from the process server who handed Giuliani his indictment papers to the flies that were circling Giuliani's rotting body. I'm sure we've all heard about the cicada apocalypse emerging this summer. We've heard about that. And if you're wondering why they came out now, baby, they had an 80th birthday.

Everyone's invited. All the girls from college. However, according to the Daily Mail, Giuliani's special day was very much ruined with party guests screaming at the authorities and bursting into tears. And I get that. I'd also scream and cry if I suddenly realized I was at Rudy Giuliani's birthday party.

You know what, though? This is what I'll say for Rudy Giuliani's birthday party. I bet that past apps go off. Heavy. You know what I mean? Just the nastiest stuff you see at a wedding. You know that Giuliani is having that garbage at the party, and that's one thing. Like that Aaron T that's the size of a softball. It's like the spreads that they put on Real Housewives of New Jersey.

Absolutely. It looks like you want to eat. And thank you for shouting out that they do throw the best. They have the best food. They have the best food. That's my culture. I love those women. You went out to the Shore House? Yes. Melissa Shore House? You're eating an arancini ball the size of her own head. Gorgasized. Over in New York, going over from New Jersey to New York. The last full week of Trump's hush money trial is over.

in full swing with Judge Juan Merchan deciding Monday to set closing arguments for May 28th. Merchan also scheduled a few minutes at the end of the trial for all the key players to mill around on stage hugging each other like the end credits of an episode of Saturday Night Live.

Remember when Rudy Giuliani was allowed in that building? Yeah. Remember when he was like a celebrated member of the SNL community? Yeah. He was throwing out pitches. He was doing bits. Throwing pitches. It was a really insane time. Mayor behavior, which is something we have to remember, really happened. I feel like this trial was finished so fast, but also went on for fucking ever, which seems right. That's probably how Stormy Daniels felt. Bazinga.

Personally, I'm an RIP to young Sheldon, we should say. Yeah, I know. It will be missed. One of the best to ever do it. We did it. Personally, I'm happy for Trump. He can now focus on his true passion. Even more trials. During his cross-examination Monday, Michael Cohen admitted to stealing money from the Trump organization while working as the former president's lawyer.

Stealing from the Trump Organization is one of those things that's completely illegal, but ethically fine, like drinking at the beach or vandalizing a Cybertruck. Cohen said he took $30,000 out of a $50,000 payment meant to pay a tech contractor the company hired to rig a CNBC poll about famous businessmen in Trump's favor.

Shameful. Disgusting. He could have stolen so much more. I could got you a deal for much less, Michael. I pay CNBC to rig who is your favorite Las Coturistas host poll all the time. To be fair, I always just barely win. According to Cohen, he stole the money out of anger in retribution for Trump slashing his bonus. Said Cohen, it was almost like self-help.

God, men will literally steal $30,000 instead of going to therapy. The rest of us just make sure that our email is signed up to the Staples Rewards Program. 100%. That's what normal stealing from a company is. There's ways to scam. There's ways. I mean, totally, girl, though. I mean, whatever you need to tell yourself. When I select Red Delicious at self-checkout, even though I'm buying Honeycrisp,

That's actually meditation. Cohen also said he talked to Trump more than 20 times about the Stormy Daniels situation in October 2016 ahead of the presidential election. Can I say I feel for Cohen? He said that toward the end, his hand was getting raw from all the high fives. That's pain. And love is about pain. Turns out Michael Cohen was the last witness prosecutors planned to call in the trial. Michael, from one headliner to another, congrats, boo. LAUGHTER

Then on Monday, the prosecution rested their case. And given the headlines about Trump sleeping in court, the defense has been resting this whole time. The defense lawyer called Robert Costello, a lawyer who once advised Cohen to the stand in the hopes of discrediting Trump's former fixer. I'm surprised given the way Cohen operated. I was like, no way this man has ever taken any advice. Yeah.

During his testimony, Judge Juan Merchan freaked out at Costello after the witness audibly commented, ridiculous and geez, after the judge sustained several objections by the prosecution. He also said to strike part of his own testimony. Said Judge Merchan, if you don't like my ruling, you don't say geez and you don't say strike it because I'm the only one who can strike testimony in court.

added Mershon. Matter of fact, you shouldn't say geez even outside of the courtroom. What are you, an angry Mormon in 1996?

The defense subsequently rested on Tuesday with Donald Trump opting not to testify after telling reporters last month, I would testify absolutely. Though to be fair, he did mumble that in his sleep. Did sort of just sneak out there. It's so sad. You know, he'd have so much potential if he could just get over his crippling shyness. You know what I mean? He's a wallflower. Yeah.

Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Each year, the International Rescue Committee's Emergency Watchlist Report assesses the 20 countries at greatest risk of new or worsening humanitarian emergencies. These countries are home to only 10.6% of the world's population, but carry a disproportionate burden of global humanitarian crisis. The civil war in Sudan has left over 24 million in need of humanitarian aid.

while armed conflicts and natural disasters have displaced 1.26 million people in the Democratic Republic of the Congo. And Gaza has become the deadliest place for civilians in the world. Donations help the IRC provide families affected by humanitarian crises with emergency supplies in the aftermath of a crisis.

and with the resources they need to recover and rebuild their lives for the long term. Just $14 can provide a temporary shelter for a displaced family, and $72 can provide two months' worth of emergency food for a child. Donate today by visiting rescue.org slash rebuild.

This show is sponsored by BetterHelp. What are your self-care non-negotiables? Maybe you never skip leg day or your skincare routine or therapy day. I have to tell you, I am a creature of routine. And I walk pundit. I get the same quad espresso every morning from Starbucks. Oh, and I also do go to therapy, although I did cancel therapy last night to do Anderson Cooper. Ha ha ha!

Healthy, very healthy call. That's real. That's real. Sorry, Dr. Christie, I can't do therapy. I got to go on Anderson Cooper. You can watch. I'll be saying the same things I'll be saying to you. If you're thinking of starting therapy, give BetterHelp a try. It's entirely online, designed to be convenient, flexible, and suited to your schedule. Just fill out a brief questionnaire to get matched with a licensed therapist and switch therapists anytime for no additional charge. Never skip therapy day with BetterHelp. Visit betterhelp.com slash love it to get 10% off your first month

Obviously, you should not do what I did. You should all be in therapy and stick to it. And by the way, I also did Chris Hayes. So it's like therapy or Anderson Cooper plus Chris Hayes is a no-brainer. It's a no-brainer. As is you getting therapy, betterhelp.com slash L-O-V-E-T-T, betterhelp.com slash love it.

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As you've no doubt seen by now, Georgia Republican and national record holder for banned from the most Walmarts, Marjorie Taylor Greene, fully derailed a House Oversight Committee hearing by launching a personal attack at Texas Democrat Jasmine Crockett's eyelashes. We have a clip.

Oh my god, it's tough to go up first during a roast. The only thing missing from this hearing was the Drag Race rattlesnake sound that-

You know that thing. I wish I could do it. I can't, as you just heard. Congresswoman Alexandria Ocasio-Cortez leapt to Crockett's defense like a good sister, calling Green's remark unacceptable.

That is absolutely unacceptable. How dare you attack the physical appearance of another person. Move her words down. Oh, girl, baby girl. Oh, really? Don't even play with me. Baby girl, I don't think. We are going to move, and we're going to take your words down.

God, I cannot wait to watch Andy Cohen ask them about this during the reunion. While Greene agreed to strike her words from the record, she refused to apologize. And Republican Chairman James Comer agreed that her personal insult didn't violate House rules. Yeah, I mean, there's probably no explicit rule against throwing a CrossFit tire against the hearing room either. We've never needed one before. It all brought this response from Crockett.

I'm just curious, just to better understand your ruling, if someone on this committee then starts talking about somebody's bleach-blind, bad-built butch body, that would not be engaging in personalities, correct? A what now? A what now?

I don't love the use of butch as an insult, but I do love alliteration. And if that makes me a centrist, so be it, baby. And this just in, bleach blonde bad built butch body has now been added to the looking for filter on Truth Social's dating tab. Congrats to the community. Then Crockett announced on X that she's launched a line of bleach blonde bad built butch body merchandise, which you can see here.

Listen, call my patience Donald Trump the way it's being tried every day. I can't with all this. I just want to say, just to point out that her name is actually misspelled.

Yeah, we could have taken this off of Canva and maybe gotten it to Photoshop. This is obviously CGI. When you see a misspelling like that, it's like, okay, you just put it in and then no one even just read it. Do you think that model knows what he's wearing? No, no, no. I don't even know if that's a real person. I feel like this may be all entirely a guy. This, and I say this with love, this is a shirt that we would be wearing at a family reunion. And I know that that's the aesthetic of

That she that that she is drawing from 100 percent, 100 percent. On Sunday's Meet the Press, Crockett defended calling MTG racist. Do you think her going after your eyelashes, that that in itself is racist?

I think her specifically doing it to me, yes, that was the intent. MAGA has historically been on social media doing the things where they're saying, "Oh, she's Black with lashes and nails and hair, and so she's ghetto." And so to me, this was her buying into that rhetoric and trying to amplify this for the MAGA crowd. And so, yeah, I absolutely think that she only did it to be racist towards me.

It should absolutely not be Crockett's job to explain this. We're talking about Marjorie Taylor Greene. The presumption is racist until proven innocent. On Monday, MTG posted her response, writing, "...yes, my body is built and strong, not with nips, tucks, plastic, or silicone."

But through a healthy lifestyle, soon turning 50 years old, God willing, I will continue to lift, run, swim, play, sports, surf, ski, climb, and live this life to the fullest and enjoy every single moment. There is also a video of her deadlifting.

Posted with the same energy of the horror movie villain who you think has died, but the final frame is their eyes opening. She's going to be hit with a cease and desist from whoever that artist is. See ya. We hope we see ya in court. Bye!

Thanks for laughing. I hated saying that. And that wasn't one of their jokes that came out of my brain. Okay, but if there is a God, why did she make Marjorie Taylor Greene impervious to death? Let's move on to something else. In pop culture news, Billie Eilish released her third album, Hit Me Hard and Soft, last week. So a big week for both eyelashes and Eilish's. Hmm.

Shout out to Sarah Lazarus. We wanted to make sure you got the floor. She's back. She's out for two weeks. She's back. I love it. The singer also dropped a lyric video for Lunch, the album's sexy, sapphic single in which she declares, I could eat that girl for lunch. Yes, she dances on my tongue. The song is a follow-up to Eilish's thematically similar offering on the Barbie soundtrack titled, What Was I Made For? Eatin' Pussy. Ha ha ha.

incredibly brave to write a sexy song about the least sexy meal of the day lunch oh you could eat that girl like a sweet green salad at your desk while catching up on emails okay girl the album follows Eilish's Rolling Stone cover story last month in which she declared I've been in love with girls for my whole life but I just didn't understand until last year I realized I wanted my face in a vagina

Hey, we've all been there. Not me, obviously. Ever, never, not once, no time in the future. But a lot of us have been there.

In the interview, the singer said lunch is part of what helped me become who I am, to be real. Okay, same. Just about the concept of having lunch in general. I identify with you, Billy. Billy also took the opportunity to promote masturbation. Said Eilish, people should be jerking it, man. I can't stress it enough. As somebody with extreme body issues and dysmorphia that I've had my entire life.

And can I say, it's good to see a celebrity go to bat for jerking it. Carry on, Billy. Pick up the torch that Fred Willard dropped. Look, if this is what gets Gen Z to be horny and have sex, then I celebrate her. Back in my day, you had to wait until your mom took you underwear shopping and you could sear the image of the Fruit of the Loom dudes in the back of your retina for later. It's still there and you're looking great, fellas.

In related news, Gallup polling from this spring found 7.6% of Americans now say they are some kind of LGBTQ, with more than one in five Gen Z participants identifying within that community. The numbers are up from 3.5% in 2012 and 5.6% in 2020. Hooray! The vaccine is working!

Look, in news I actually care about, because this whole thing has been absolutely awful for me so far. In news I care about, Avril Lavigne, top of mind, got in line to call her daddy podcast to promote her greatest hits album. Apparently.

Apparently there are enough. Oh my God. And to once again publicly deny the rumor that she was replaced by a clone after dying 20 years ago. This is a real rumor for those of you out there with like jobs and lives. Nothing but love to Avril, but who would go to the trouble to replace her with a body double? You think Hot Topic has the profit margin for that? Yeah.

For listeners who might not be aware, the Avril Lavigne is a clone conspiracy theory is one of the ones we pretend to believe for fun. It's not one of the obviously false conspiracy theories we sincerely believe, like the one that says Boeing somehow assassinated a whistleblower by giving him a staph infection. Think about it.

During the episode, the singer reiterated that despite what you might have read on the internet, she is not a secret doppelganger of herself named Melissa Vanadela. Could she make it any more obvious? Although when someone yelled Melissa really loud, she did turn around rather quickly.

The longstanding conspiracy theory began in Brazil and dates to a 2011 blog post that used Avril Lavigne's lyrics and photos to argue that Melissa assumed Avril's identity following the singer's debut album and subsequent untimely demise. But why Brazil? It's a country where soccer is huge and Brazil hasn't won the World Cup since May of 2002. What else happened in May of 2002?

Hey, Holly, do you want to explain what that was? So what we're looking at is a poster of Star Wars Attack of the Clones episode two.

For those listening at home. Great art. They couldn't manage to bring any light into Hayden Christensen's eyes. No, absolutely not. Shout out to him, though. Shout out to him out here just living his life and Kendra just came in and absolutely taught him. Hayden Christensen, you on burn notice today. Wake up in the eyes, boo. Hey, he's getting a Disney salary to this day. 100%. No one's mad. No one's upset. And no one's listening. Yeah.

Fortunately, the singer thought the conspiracy theory could be worse. I feel like I got a good one. I don't think it's like negative. It's something creepy, said Levine. And she added, it could have been worse. They could have denied my presidential win like my hero, Donald Trump. Oh, God, no. Oh,

Over in Europe, the 2024 Cannes Film Festival is underway. So get ready to jump up and slap those raw bleeding palms together because it's time for Standing Ovation Watch. In a segment we're calling, Who Got the Clap?

The con audience clapped its fucking heart out for body horror film The Substance, starring Demi Moore and Margaret Qualley, giving it an 11-minute standing ovation on Sunday night. People were clapping for something they called weird nudity. Reports also said people vomited and passed out in sheer terror at the screening, which begs the question, who are these freaks they're letting go to con? When they saw Avatar, did they just rip their fucking face?

faces off. On Saturday, Selena Gomez wept as her film, Amelia Perez, received a nine-minute standing ovation. She cried because only nine minutes of continuous clapping means the movie is trash. Ovation inflation is real. Interesting fact, Amelia Perez is how Streganona pronounces the show Emily in Paris. Kevin Costner was also brought to tears. Even the men

by the standing ovation for his Western Horizon and American Saga, which clocked in at seven minutes. Oh boy, here come the water worlds.

Nicolas Cage celebrated the six minute standing ovation for his psychological thriller, The Surfer, by taking the mic to ask how to say eat the rat in French and then yelling mange les rats. At least this time it's a line from the film. Unlike the last three times Nicolas Cage yelled eat the rat at Cannes.

Outside, many French people were seen eating rats, having heard Cage yelling, I have to assume. Okay, maybe that's how French aristocrats say it, but the proletariat would say ratatouille. Okay.

And finally, Cate Blanchett blew kisses to the con crowd as her dark comedy Rumors received a measly, pathetic, merely four-minute standing ovation. We've truly lost the plot here. Four minutes is so, so long. Imagine a crowd of people applauding for the entire length of the song Complicated by Avril Lavigne's body double Melissa Venadella. Yeah.

Well, wow. What a weekday it was. I want to thank everyone for having me as a little guest at this little table. It was so good. Thank you. I felt very at home. Thanks to everybody. And I guess I'll see you slut Saturday. But before that, there's the live show on Thursday. So if you're in town, come on and swing through. I want to see you sluts in person. I bet Love It only says see you sluts once. I've said sluts now several times. And they had to ask me, are you comfortable saying it? Clearly, here it is again. See you slut Saturday.

I hope Levitt never comes back. That slut. ... ... ... ... ... ... ...

Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer. Chris Lord is our producer. And Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, and Mahana Del Shiki are our writers.

Evan Sutton is our editor. Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. And Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, David Tolles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroat for filming and editing video each week so you can.

It's love it or leave it. Well, I'm the only person gayer than love it to host the show. So that's a lie. You just had Lewis. Yeah, we just had Lewis on. Yeah, that's slob. He's in the other room right now ganging up. Is he actually? He's in the small studio. He's in the small studio, the bitch. Yes. Remind him that you're in the large studio and he's in the small one. Honestly, maybe I'll go cameo.