Learn to Love Dr. Pepper feat. Guy Branum
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Please welcome to the stage... Guy Brown! Thank you for coming, seven people. And thank you for watching me dance to Vanessa Williams' song. Having the good sense to remember that you're a diva and that you were allowed to release one good dance song after 55 is very important. And yet another reason that she is...

I'll say it. Our best Miss America. Hello, and welcome to Love It or Leave It. I am Guy Branum, your guest host for the evening. Right now, you guys are probably wondering, like, why there is a guest host, since we all know that Love It is back from Survivor. We know where he was. His bowels are intact, or so we're told. He's doing other podcasts on the network, and, like, why is he not here, like...

My assumption is now that he's used to network television, he's no longer willing to do live theater in the same way that I am. But we will keep this all going. So until his therapist gives him the A-OK, well, the C-plus, it is love it. I'm going to close out this guest host era with a great show tonight. We've got James Adomian.

Here to let his Martha's a freak flag fly, we have Dean of the USC Law School, Fenita Tolson. She's going to be here to teach the Supreme Court right from the illegal. And then Clark Gregg goes all ghost in the IMDb. And finally, we wrap it all up with a nice rant wheel. But first, you guys, let's get into it. What a week. This week, a jury found Hunter Biden guilty of three felony charges stemming from him lying about his drug use on a federal gun purchasing application in 2018.

I don't think anyone is above the law, but I would argue that once Marjorie Taylor Greene has held up a picture of your hog on C-SPAN, you should be immune from prosecution. You have paid your debt. I have said it before and I will say it again. Hunter Biden's only crime is being fun.

President Biden said in a statement, I am the president, but I'm also a dad. I will accept the outcome of this case and I will continue to respect the judicial process as Hunter considers an appeal. Added Biden, if you see me pardon a turkey around Thanksgiving that say looks like a man wearing a turkey suit, mind your own goddamn business. So he's saying he will not abuse his power and issue Hunter a pardon. Finally, a way that I can tell Biden and Trump apart.

The seven-day trial featured embarrassing testimony from Hunter's former romantic partners about his crack addiction and reckless behavior. To be clear, the testimony was embarrassing to everyone but Hunter, who kept saying, yeah, I did, while smirking.

I personally try to lead my life in such a way that none of my exes are ever called to testify about me under oath, but we all know that it's only a matter of time. In my favorite detail from the trial, one of Hunter's former girlfriends testified that they met when she was working at a strip club and that Hunter put on a Fleet Foxes song while she and another woman gave him a lap dance.

I am sorry, 80s June. I cannot believe that I was forced to read a sentence that straight. Meanwhile, long-shot presidential candidate Marianne Williamson has once again suspended her campaign for the Democratic nomination. So if anyone here knows how to play taps on a Tibetan singing bowl, that could really come in handy right now. Marianne, I say this to you from the bottom of my heart. I did not know you were still running. LAUGHTER

Rudy Giuliani had his mugshot taken in Arizona on Tuesday in connection with his charges in the 2020 fake elector scheme. I think that there has been a mix-up. This is clearly a photo of Giuliani beckoning children from inside a storm train. This is scary. This is the last thing that a bottle of schnapps sees before it dies. Emerging from the courthouse afterwards, Giuliani told reporters that he was very, very proud of his actions. He added, and before you ask, I am talking about Borat's daughter.

When asked by a reporter whether he had any regrets about his role in trying to overturn the election, Giuliani replied, oh my goodness, no. And that, coincidentally, is the same thing that his sex worker told him after he whispered his secret request. The chef who went viral for holding up a plate of calamari during the video roll call of states in 2020's Democratic National Convention will not be returning this year and told the AP, I am a Trump supporter, to be honest with you.

This is exactly how Democrats lose elections. You can't just count on squid chefs to show up for you every four years and put you over the edge. You need a permanent presence in those calamari communities or this is what happens. Southern Baptist, the country's largest Protestant denomination with almost 13 million church members, voted on Wednesday to oppose the use of IVF.

a Southern Baptist spokesperson, in vitro is Latin, which we believe to be Catholic bullshit. Look, the Southern Baptists understand that if this country doesn't have any unwanted pregnancies for 30 years, they're not going to have any congregants left. Wanted babies are loved enough to become Methodists.

In a letter to the House Republicans on Tuesday, the Justice Department said it looked for any evidence that there had been contact between the Department of Justice leaders and Manhattan District Attorney Alvin Bragg, who brought the hush money case against Trump. It found none.

The indignity of even looking. It's like when you lose your keys and your friend goes like, well, did you check in the fridge? Bitch, I do not need to check in the fridge. I've never once put my keys in the fridge. Do not project your fridge issues onto me. My keys are locked in my car where they belong. Wrote Assistant Attorney General Carlos Uriarte, the conspiracy theory that the recent jury verdict in New York State Court was somehow controlled by the department is not only false, it is irresponsible.

Not like all those responsible conspiracy theories we're always hearing about, those conspiracy theories with elder daughter energy. Meanwhile, the New Jersey Attorney General's office is reviewing whether three Trump-owned golf courses in the state are still eligible to have liquor licenses in the wake of Trump's conviction. No. If a 60-year-old millionaire who detests his wife can't even have a martini before the back nine in Bedminster, the entire social fabric of this country could crumble before our very eyes.

Donald Trump headed to Capitol Hill on Thursday for the first time since his presidency ended, meeting with Republican lawmakers to talk policy and rally the troops. It is only June, and Trump is already planning. This coming January 6th is sure to be one for the record books, ladies and gentlemen. Trump reportedly told House Republicans, Milwaukee, where we are having our convention, is a horrible city. Apparently someone doesn't like beer, pie, and German Catholics. LAUGHTER

But other than that, it seems like it went well there. Apparently, the former president made reference to Hannibal Lecter and said, nice guy, quote, he even had a friend over for dinner. So we've seen Trump out on the campaign trail praising Hannibal Lecter. Apparently, he did it again this morning. Again, to remind you, the race is tied.

Trump also told Republicans that he was surprised Taylor Swift wasn't in his camp, saying it's how he'd signed a law to help songwriters. And listen, we've all seen Taylor Swift. On some level, we're all surprised. Marjorie Taylor Greene offered this glowing review of Trump's speech to the GOP conference.

He was funny. He was joking around constantly with everyone. He was really sweet to me. He saw me. I was sitting back a little ways. He saw me in there and he was like, hello, Marjorie. He's always so sweet and recognizes me. Now, I am also very impressed that Trump recognized her and didn't just say, wait, are you the handjob one or the Florida one?

Politico reported Thursday that Trump made a furious phone call to Speaker Mike Johnson in the days after his conviction, dropping frequent F-bombs and saying, we have to overturn this. The F-bomb in question? Frusciagine. Meanwhile, Supreme Court Chief Justice John Roberts and Justice Samuel Alito were secretly recorded at a gala last week by Lauren Windsor, an activist posing as a Catholic conservative.

It's so cool that there's only one way to find out what the nine of the most powerful people in America actually believe, and that's to crash a party in trad wife cosplay. In the audio, Alito said he agreed that compromise between the left and right might be impossible. There can be a way of working, a way of living together peacefully, but it's difficult, you know, because there are differences on...

fundamental things that really can't be compromised. And the one thing that cannot be compromised is the right of a wife to fly whatever flag she pleases. Women, right? Can't live with them. Can I ask them to respect the nonpartisan nature of the office you hold in our barely surviving democracy? Their exchange continued.

Now what's going on right now is my Jew alarm is going off. I don't know what gene it is, but there's something in me right now that wants me to sell my tailor shop, gather together my nine children, and leave this village in the dead of night. What?

Chief Justice John Roberts, meanwhile, rejected the premise that America is a Christian nation. I think that we live in a Christian nation and that Arthur Greenborg should be guiding us in that path. Yeah, I don't know that we live in a Christian nation. I know a lot of Jewish and Muslim friends who would say maybe not. And it's not our job to do that. I've never said this before and I hope to never say it again, but John Roberts, Slay Queen.

Also caught on tape is Samuel Alito's wife, the delectable Martha Ann Alito, applause break, who of course has been in the news recently for flying two separate stop-the-steal flags at the Alito's residence and vacation home, respectively. While talking to Windsor, Martha Ann declared that no husband is going to stop her from flying a MAGA flag. The other thing is the femme Nazis believe that he should control me. So who the hell? He never controls me.

First of all, I was just going to say, femme Nazis have the best outfits. But like truly when this whole thing was going on, I never even considered the funniest option that Samuel Alito was telling the God's honest truth that he is simply at the mercy of an all powerful flag tyrant trembling before her mighty flags. Do I love her? Should I be Martha Ann Alito for Snatch Game? I don't know. If anyone here is trying to attack Martha Ann Alito, you need to know that Martha Ann is made of sturdier stuff than that.

I'm German. I'm in Germany. My heritage is German. You come after me, I'm going to give it back to you. Okay, that is interesting. Zone of interesting, even. Again, my Jew alarm is definitely going off now. Where is my Zoftig wife Rivka? Put the goats on the cart. We gotta go, Rivka. She also shouted out her favorite Bible passage. Psalm 27 is my song. Mine.

Psalm 27. The Lord is my God and my rock. Of whom shall I be afraid? Nobody. You step the fuck back, Martha Ann. Psalm 27 belongs to King David and whatever downy-faced shepherd he was fucking at the moment. You do not get to claim the second gayest book of the Bible for your own. Not on this gay Jew's watch.

Gayest book of the Bible, of course, Song of Songs. Yes, it is mostly about women's boobs, but in the Hebrew Bible, thinking women's boobs are attractive is sort of gay. Added Martha Ann. We have a lagoon story and John's not back yet!

He just spent a month researching lagoons. It's a journalistic travesty. Are you happy now, homos? You have ruined this woman's lagoon. Even worse, Martha Ann has a design for, you guessed it, another flag.

I made a flag in my head. This is how I satisfy myself. I made a flag. It's white and it's yellow and orange flames around it. And in the middle is the word vergogna. Vergogna in Italian means shame. Vergogna. V-E-R-G-O-G-N-A. Vergogna. Shame, shame, shame on you. You know. Anyway.

Getting so mad at someone, you picture a fabulous flame-colored flag. My God, woman, there's nothing gayer than that. Also, just for fun, here's her saying goodbye to a friend. Bye, baby. Bye, cat. Meow, meow, meow, meow. Meow, meow. She's a bad girl. Ladies and gentlemen, this is a tragedy for America. You look at that woman, and you see the amazing, shining star of a fag hag. Or should I say flag hag?

She could be brightening any gay bar in America, and she has chosen this path. On Thursday, the Supreme Court ruled unanimously to maintain access to Mifepristone, one of the medications used in two-thirds of abortions in the United States. That's right, baby. Things are staying at the same level of bad instead of suddenly getting much, much worse. That's my America.

The decision focused entirely on the plaintiff's lack of standing and took no stance on the safety or morality of the pill, suggesting that the court's conservatives might still restrict Mifeprestone if someone brings them a better excuse to do it. We won this one on a technicality. And you know what? I'll take it. We're not going to get that big, satisfying West Wing moment. We're going to get birth control is still legal because an evangelical lawyer missed the filing deadline and we're going to love it.

Technicalities are the beating heart of the rule of law. The suit was launched by the Alliance for Hippocratic Medicine. The Alliance for Hippocratic Medicine, of course, is a coalition of anti-abortion medical associations and doctors. Ah, so that's why the name sounds so stupid.

Wrote Justice Brett Kavanaugh, federal courts are the wrong forum for addressing the plaintiff's concerns about the FDA's actions. As we all know, the correct forum for addressing concerns about the FDA's actions is the New York Times Instagram comments. The case is the court's first abortion ruling since it overturned Roe v. Wade in the summer of 2022. The summer of 2022. I remember it like it was 1964, which it seems is what the Supreme Court thinks is the best year.

But, you guys, if you felt a cold breeze in your uterus this morning, that's what happened. The court has yet to weigh in on the other abortion-related cases on its docket, which asks whether or not a state can ban medical abortions of a woman's health, but not her life, are at grave risk from the pregnancy. It is definitely scary, but allow me to throw a Hollywood wrench into conservative arguments for this ban. What if she were also beautiful?

South Carolina Senator Lindsey Graham on Wednesday blocked the Democrats' bill that would have required the Supreme Court to adopt a binding code of conduct. The only code of conduct Lindsey Graham adheres to is, Nassboas don't tail.

Also in Washington, Usher visited the Capitol on Wednesday to meet with the House members about diabetes awareness. Members offered to give Usher a tour, which he requested be taken nice and slow. The singer told a reporter, this place is like Rome. It looks different every time you see it. That's what I like about D.C. All the sites keep getting older, and I just look the same age.

A federal judge has struck down Florida's ban on providing gender-affirming care to transgender minders, ruling that key provisions of the law are unconstitutional. Judge Robert Hinkle wrote in his order that gender identity is real and that Florida can't prohibit transgender minders from receiving specific kinds of widely accepted gender-affirming medical care, like puberty blockers and hormone treatments. You know, an innocent legislature just tries to criminalize some children, and then who comes along but Judge Buzzkill, needing to ruin everyone's time?

Going to wipe sweat off of my face now. And then return to the second hour of jokes. North Dakota voters on Tuesday passed a measure that would impose age limits on candidates running for federal office. Wait, are there still people left in North Dakota who are under 80 years old? I thought they all moved to Arizona to be professional water skiers.

GOP Minnesota Senate candidate Royce White on Tuesday tweeted out a map that he said showed out-of-control crime levels in Minneapolis, but which is, in fact, a map of the city's drinking fountains. To be fair, Republicans do think free water is a crime. But also, why do Minnesotans need all those drinking fountains? They've already got 10,000 lakes. What are you people, amphibians? Amphibians?

I think all those drinking fountains are just Lutheran Minnesota's way of reminding Catholic Wisconsin that they're a bunch of drunks. Oh, yeah. Enjoy that line of Google. We'll just have a nice sip of water. Pope Francis on Tuesday once again used a homophobic slur in a closed-door meeting two weeks after apologizing for using that same slur. Honey.

I've had to say this to a couple of comedians before, but you only get to say that after you come out. The Pope once again issued an apology and explained that he thought it was okay since he said it in a closed-door meeting while receiving extreme unction, if you know what I mean, from an attractive young monsignor. An Italian newspaper reported that the Pope had said, a bishop came to me and told me there is too much frusciagine here in the Vatican. With all due respect, Your Holiness, you wouldn't last an hour in the West Hollywood equinox I was raised in.

Celine Dion, who canceled her tour dates in 2022 after being diagnosed with stiff person syndrome, a real condition that is very important, vowed to make her comeback during a Today appearance this week. I'm going to go back on stage, even if I have to crawl, even if I have to talk with my hands. I will. I am Celine Dion. Hell yeah. I can't wait. My person is becoming stiff just thinking about it.

In disgusting news, Elon Musk had a sexual relationship with a woman he'd met while she was an intern at SpaceX, according to a reporter in the Wall Street Journal. So the morning show knew, said one of the three people I know who watches the morning show. So everyone hates dating apps, but when people meet at work, they hate that too? Where else is a CEO supposed to meet a much younger intern to carry his seed? Look, the way that all of your parents met is now illegal, that we just have to face it.

And finally, hot dog eating champion Joey Chestnut has been banned from this year's Nathan's Hot Dog Eating Contest after he signed a deal to represent Impossible Foods. Grow up, Nathan's. It is a hot dog eat hot dog world out there. I personally was stunned to find out that Joey Chestnut had an endorsement deal with Impossible Hot Dogs. I always assumed that if he had a food sponsorship, it was with chestnuts.

Chestnuts. They're edible, Europeans seem to think. Said an Impossible Foods spokesperson, we love Joey and support him in any contest he chooses. It's okay to experiment with a new dog. Meat eaters shouldn't have to be exclusive to just one wiener. Yeah. Just a reminder to Nathans and everyone else bringing heteronormative relationship ideas to commerce, monogamy is a prison of your own design. Personally, I'm Polly. Polly gonna eat a couple of hot dogs later.

Thank you. There's one last thing. Before we go, we've got a little segment we're calling America's Least Wanted. This week, we're headed to Nevada, a state brimming with a young, diverse working class, as well as some of the oldest white people America has to offer. Our GOP failson du jour is Senate candidate Sam Brown. That's right. Retired Army captain and career failed politician Sam Brown won his GOP primary on Tuesday night, which means we will have to deal with him until November.

Hopefully, after that, he'll make like a disease you pick up at a Vegas bachelor party and get cleared out of our system with a standard course of antibiotics. Nevada's current sitting senators are two Democratic women who won their races by razor-thin margins, including Brown's opponent come November, incumbent Jackie Rosen. Senator Rosen is a 66-year-old pro-abortion Jewish mom, so yes, I do consider her to be a member of my immediate family. LAUGHTER

Brown, for his part, hasn't had a real job since he left the military 12 years ago and has made multiple failed bids for office, including the Texas state legislature in 2014 and an embarrassing GOP Senate primary loss in 2022. You know what they say. If at first you don't succeed, move to a different state and try to find new ways to not succeed. Also, hasn't had a real job in 12 years. Congratulations, Sam. You're an honorary L.A. screenwriter. LAUGHTER

Sam Brown has previously supported full abortion bans with no exception for rape or incest, but now is trying to backpedal a bit and say that he opposes a federal ban. But I respect Sam. He has a strong, unshakable moral belief in whatever seems like it might win him the race that he's in right now. One of Sam's particularly wild statements was a recent assertion that January 6th was so complex and that many people were there for patriotic expression. Patriotic expression, is that what we're calling shitting on the House Speaker's desk now? LAUGHTER

In his victory speech on Tuesday, Brown said, it is tonight that we continue to deliver hope that the American dream is not dead. A mega Republican trying to sell you the American dream is kind of like me trying to sell you a cyber truck. I don't know what it is or how it works. And I will start crying if even one person asks me how they can acquire it. So if you want to stop Sam Brown and other extremely conservative politicians just like him, then go to votesaveamerica.com slash 2024 to find out more. This has been America's Least Wanted. Woo!

Coming up, James Adomian is really proud to be German. Hey, don't go anywhere. There's more of Love It or Leave It coming up. Love It or Leave It is brought to you by ZipRecruiter. Just so you know, you're hearing this on June 15th, 16th, 17th. I've recorded several versions of this ad for you, my beloved audience, and I want you to know something. The famous Abraham Lincoln quote says, good things come to those who wait.

but that's only part of the quote. The full quote is good things come to those who wait, but only the things left by those who hustle. I do not believe either half of that quote is real, but the message, right? The message is solid. I think Lincoln said it after he chopped down the cherry tree. That's right. That's right. That was the thing. Yeah. Uh,

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Hello, and welcome back to Love It or Leave It. I am not John Lovett. I am Guy Branum. John Lovett is off on assignment.

But before the break, we had some laughs poking fun at Martha Annalito and her United States of Shame flag in the monologue. But this is first and foremost a news show. And we thought it only fair to reach out to Martha Ann for comment. And to our absolute shock and delight, she responded, Ladies and gentlemen, will you please put your hands together for an exclusive with Martha Annalito. Thank you.

Oh, yes. Love it or leave it. That's my message. That's my message to these gays and these liberals. Hello. Hello, Martha. You've had a real rough week. Thank you, Guy. I was so happy that you reached out and I wanted to respond to someone with a good, honest, Christian, cisgendered name. Guy. Look.

You know, Martha Ann, I'm not like those other media elites. I'm not like those other homosexuals. Thank you. I understand that a lot of pressure... They always come for me. Why do you think that is? They come for me because they're jealous. They look at what I'm wearing. They look at my threads, my fashions, and they say things. They say horrible left-wing things out of the left side of their tongue. They say that I'm wearing a recliner. They say that I look like the inside out of a locker room bag at Six Flags.

And let me tell you, I know a few things about six flags, don't I? Six flags upside down! Now, Martha, how many flags do you own? Oh, honey, we've got a whole flag garage. Uh-huh. It's where we stuff all of our flags. We've got flags for any kind of...

Any government, not just the Confederates, but any other one that ever seceded from the United States, including Vermont and Texas, and hopefully soon Oregon. Hopefully. Fingers crossed. Now, Martha Ann, why is it you feel most comfortable communicating through flags? Well, of course, you know, my parents were both in the military, as you know, and I'm a very proud...

Patriot in this country. And when I met my Samuel at the law library at the University of KY, we bonded. We bonded.

Uh-huh. We bonded, of course. You guys both love communicating about the greatness of our government. He through legal decisions and you through pieces of fabric. Well, there was a time in this country when you could communicate honestly. Yeah. Before the medium of television, which was controlled by, you know, them. Yes. You would communicate from high hills. Which is,

Which of the thems are we talking about here? Oh, you know the they's and the thems. The capitals and the lower cases. Yes. Upside down if it's confusing to you. Right. But I like a good signal cord. Right. And there's nothing like communicating across a lagoon or a large mountain ravine with a flag saying, hey, watch out. Oh! Oh! If it's good enough for a Navy, it's good enough for you. Exactly. And I'm so glad to talk to you because these liberals, they will trick me into an interview and they will say the most horrible things when they write it up for their Pulitzer Prize.

They'll say she's like Lucille Bluth. So that was a little shocking. You talked to a woman who was presenting herself as being a conservative friend of yours, but then it came out in an article that she was insincere. Do you feel like you would have understood her better if you guys had been communicating through flags? Well, I have a few drinks here and there. They invite me to some... Martha, what do you drink? What's your drink? I have a vodka and holy water. That's what I like to have.

It's blessed and it blesses me. And I think, yes, if I had the understanding, but the Washington Press Corps doesn't understand my flags. You want a little great goose, a little holy father. Exactly. And that's one of the flags I would like to fly. That's definitely one of the flags that I'd like. I want to fly over the lagoon during Pride Month to get back at these. You know what? I want to fly a flag that says Frasciagini upside down.

upside down so these faggots can drain some of their business out. What are you indicating by making Froschia Gine be upside down? What are you saying? Well, I think that it's time that their regime is turned upside down. There's nothing like a gesture of an upside down flag.

Can we say that? There's nothing like that. It's elegant. It's elegant. One of the most beautiful in my collection is a don't tread on me flag. Uh-huh. But it's just a snake who's very confused. Right. It looks like one of the higher levels of Q-Bert. Now, um...

But Martha Ann, that's so interesting to me because you've had some difficulties with the queer community, but you love the snake on your tread on me flag. And let's be honest, most gay men are vipers. I would think that there would be ways that you could find like kinship with them. Oh, I don't want kinship with them. In fact, I'm ready to piss them off like they piss me off. That's why I'm flying. We have an incredible library of flags. Guy, let me tell you. This is, I'm a little bit, bye honey, meow, meow, meow. Bye honey, honey, bunny, bunny, bunny. Meow. Meow.

She's a bunny cat, isn't she? Yes. I have a flag that I want to fly over the lagoon next year. To show those boys for pride. It's a Calvin. You know what Calvin pisses...

It's a Calvin pissing on Obama, but it's upside down, so it's pissing right back in his mouth. I mean, I think it's one of the most elegant forms of political discourse in this country, a Calvin peeing sticker or flag. Say what you like about the Federalist Papers, but I have learned so much more from Ford F-150s that have Calvin peeing on things. Oh, honey, there's nothing I love more than the Federalist Papers. I met my husband, Sammy Boy, in the law library at the University of KY.

There's nothing I like more than Alexander Hamilton getting reamed by the true father of our republic, Thomas Jefferson. Were you a big fan of the musical Hamilton? Of course not, honey. You know what? I obtained a flyer to the Hamilton musical and I flew it upside down outside of my house.

Now, Martha Ann, I do have a question. And really to get back, oh, go ahead. Go ahead. Of course, darling. Of course. Look at you. You're fierce. I have a question about this flag. Now, this is a flag that you designed yourself. Can you tell us more about it? VALCONIA!

We're going to have a musical number when we debut it at the Lagoon. Uh-huh. There's going to be a firework show off of our boats. It's going to look a lot like Disneyland at night in the summertime. Yeah. We're going to have fireboats. Uh-huh. The flag itself will be on fire as it's raised. Uh-huh. And it will be put out by the spirit and tears of Jesus. Uh-huh.

No, I have a question. And to take it down, we have, of course, we have the upside down American flag. That's going to be, it's going to be, well, you never, you have to have, there's a flag, there's an upside down flag protocol. Okay. Tell me about the upside down American flag. Tell me about the protocol. We're going to have, we're going to have obviously a pride, an anti pride flag reversed in every way. Upside down pride flag, inverse colors, black and white, gray scale. And there's going to be a thin blue line down the middle of it.

Just to show that queer people are not welcome at Pride, but police officers are. And I know the entire story. This is not flippant, you know. If you're going to fly an upside-down American flag, you better know the story. The regular American flag that the liberals like, it's Francis Scott Key, it's War of 1812. Yes. Take that, the British. The upside-down American flag has a proud tradition dating back to the War of 2181. Oh!

And it was, of course, in honor of Yek Talks Sick Narf, of course. That's Francis Scott K. Backward. So are you a time traveler or just a big, big fan of things being upside down? Honey, I see forwards and backwards. I fly flags upside down. Always or just when you have the vodka and holy water? Vodka, holy water, and you got to have a little bit of panache and a brooch that says, shut up.

One final question. One final question. I have two final answers. Okay. My final question is, you love this Virgonia flag so much. Virgonia, shame! Shame, shame, shame, shame, shame, shame. And you have to understand my perspective that I see...

A strong-willed woman. Thank you. With a short, sensible haircut. And a short, sensible husband. Who loves having a V in her mouth. And I have to wonder, do you have more in common with the queer community than you're opening up about? Oh, my God.

I should use that. I should fight that back when the liberals come for me the next time. You know how I think of myself? How do you think of yourself? I think of myself as a strong, big woman who's playing croquet with flamingos in her large yard overlooking a lagoon. And I have a shorter, diminutive husband. And he says, can we have a trial? Can we have a little trial?

Ladies and gentlemen. Oh, I have one more flag. All right. It's a stop the steal flag, but it's steel as in the man of steel. And it's got Superman upside down with a slash through it. Is it made of kryptonite? Of course it is. Ladies and gentlemen, Martha Annalito. Shame. They're conia. James, don't leave. Of course. We just want to be, we have to be perfectly honest for journalistic reasons. That wasn't actually Martha Annalito. Oh,

That was actually gifted performer and really chameleon James Adomian. Thanks, guy. Thanks for the opportunity. I have never played Martha Ann before. I mean, I assume that she was in your SNL characters. I would assume back when you were going before Lorne, back before he put gay people on the show, you were like, I got a lawyer's wife from Kentucky. That is good reach because that is exactly as obscure as I would have gone back to.

So James, thank you so much for joining us. Yes, love. What do you have going on in your professional life right now that has you shilling? That is you coming out, you know, leaving behind your lovely Los Feliz life and gracing us with your presence. Well, they know I'm available, first of all. Yes.

We're together in the Outstanding documentary on Netflix, which is imminently to be released. I don't know if it's before or after this, but one of these days now. It's June 18th. Our friend Paige Hurwitz made a documentary about the history of queer comedy and how that relates to the history of queer politics in America. And I'm in it and James is in it doing a very, very funny bit.

Will you explain the premise of the bits? Well, the joke is from my stand-up, and I say, you know, I don't sound the way you're supposed to sound when I'm getting, you know, when I'm receiving a, you know what I mean? And so I say, I sound like somebody's dad woke up and didn't turn the lights on in the hallway in the middle of the night. Can we hear a little bit of that? Ow! Damn it!

All right. That's lovely. So check out Outstanding on Netflix. And what else, James? Do you have anything special going on? In fact, I have a very special special coming out. It's called Path of Most Resistance and it's coming out on 800-pound Gorilla in September. So look for that. There will be a preview that's available if you really want to see it in August. But the big release is in September, Path of Most Resistance. James, just a couple of hard-hitting questions to follow that up. Are you one of our best gay comedians working today? I am.

No. I would say so. I would say you're one of our best comedians working today. I would say you're a master of character. I would say you're a damn good writer. And I would also say that you are always an interesting, compelling political thinker and that that always comes through in your standup. Well, Guy, I,

True or false? I would only say this. I've only ever wanted to hold up a mirror to society. Or if it's a one-on-one interview, a mirror to the person giving me those fabulous compliments like you. Guy Branum, one of the very greatest we have. James, tell everybody what happened when we met each other for the first time at a party over 10 years ago. How can we forget this? Guy Branum and I hit it off, i.e. we were drunk and started wrestling at a backyard party.

We discovered that we were both former football players. Yes. And we went for it. When you find out you're football players, you go, okay, let's do wrestling. Ladies and gentlemen, we broke a fence. We broke a fence. The night that James and I met each other, we broke a fence. And after the break, yet another amazing comedian I have broken a fence with, the Dean of USC's Law School, Franita Tolson. ♪

Ladies and gentlemen, anytime I get to guest host Love It or Leave It, I always love to force them to talk about law stuff because I love talking about law stuff. And so they got me an amazing person to talk to, the Dean of USC's School of Law, Fernita Tolson. Please welcome Fernita Tolson. Dean Tolson, that is a very pink blazer. How is your pride going? It's going well. Wonderful. I mean, you're bringing the energy here.

There have been a couple of bumps in our pride, and one is that the Supreme Court decided to pop out with a couple of new decisions this morning. How are they doing? So are we just sticking with today or just in general? Just in general. How are you feeling about this Roberts Court in its current form? So I try not to feel anything at all because I like to have good days, but I will say that...

I will say I'm an optimistic person and I always like to encourage people to be optimistic. But there are important lessons here. I think the Roberts Court has taught us that we can't put all of our faith in courts. Yeah. And even when you get a decision like the abortion decision where it was nine zero and they decided not to further strike down abortion.

So even in that sense, they leave the door open for somebody else to come along and challenge it. Yeah. Right. So, you know, even the good news that it's hard to take it as good news. But I'm an election law scholar and I pay special attention to the Barber's Court in the democracy space. So they've done a lot of damage. In 2013, they struck down part of the Voting Rights Act, which is honestly one of the most successful pieces of civil rights legislation that this country has ever had.

But it works so good, we don't need it anymore. Who needs to be scrutinizing those southern states? They're not doing anything to take the vote away from anyone, are they? Oh my goodness, the facts on the ground tell a different story, right? If you are a person of color trying to vote across the South, you have fewer polling locations. There are more restrictive voter ID laws. There's significant gerrymandering. Just a couple weeks ago, the Supreme Court came out with a decision where they refused to...

sanctioned Louisiana for having a racially gerrymandered a district. And the pernicious thing about that decision is that we complain about partisan gerrymandering. The way the Supreme Court wrote the decision, partisan gerrymandering is basically a defense to a claim that the state drew a district to make it harder for minorities to vote. They can say, oh, but you're Democrats. So it's okay for us to draw this district in this way. So why is it more okay to

to draw districts based on partisan lines than racial lines? Partisanship is, according to the court, not a category that the court looks on suspiciously. Oh.

Whereas race is. So it doesn't matter if the district is drawn to benefit a racial group or if it's drawn in a way that puts them at a detriment. Right. So the state can say we drew this district in this way because we wanted to bolster the strength of the Republican or the Democratic Party. Because honestly, partisan gerrymandering is a bipartisan problem. Yeah. Right. So partisanship has emerged as a defense to even the most egregious racial gerrymandering.

So at the end of the day, do you approve more of –

bipartisan independent bodies districting like in California than letting state legislatures do it in a partisan fashion? I definitely think it's a step in the right direction. No system is going to be perfect. In part, even polarization is a problem that affects voters and regular people as well as people who are elected. So I don't mean to suggest that it's a perfect solution, but it is a better solution than having state legislatures draw lines in ways that benefit whoever the majority party is. So right now, with a very solidly

conservative court and all of them seeming relatively healthy. Do you think the thing that we should be most scared about is election law or is there, do you think there's some other area of law that has you having a little trouble getting to sleep at night? Is the law the problem or is it just a state of our political system? Okay. Say that. Talk about that.

I mean, the system has been the system for a long time. Right. So people hate the Electoral College. The Electoral College kind of is part of the deal. That's from 1787. Right. Political parties have been around since almost the founding of this country. Right. So these are things that are kind of baked in. Part of it is this sense among the people that America is inevitable. Yeah. It's not. Right.

Right. But we have all those movies from the 70s and 80s where people go and yell in front of the Supreme Court and then the Supreme Court does the right thing as it always does in every case.

And that's so much fun. And everybody going and voting and sort of hammering out some sort of political compromise never seems quite as cool. Do you know what I mean? Guy, we both went to law school at a time where we were taught that the Warren Court was the best thing on the planet. Right. They saved the country. They did all of these things. Brown versus Board of Education.

They have a lot of voting rights decisions. They made rulings that allowed the federal government, the president to do things to protect people of color in this country. And we look at that court as the rule rather than the exception. Right. Right. So when you watch those movies and they're yelling at the court to change things and the court changes things, the Warren court is the model for that. But it's not reality. Yeah. The Roberts court is probably more realistic.

probably better signifies where the court has been for much of its history as opposed to the Warren court. Yeah. How do you think they will get involved with the January 6th decisions? Do you think that this court is scared of getting too involved in the presidential electoral process before the election?

or do you think that they are fully willing to get in there and make some mess? I think the court is the world's worst nosy neighbor in some ways. So let me explain what I mean by that. The court issues decisions where they sort of remove themselves from the political process a bit. So one prime example is the partisan gerrymandering decision from a few years ago where the court said, we don't want to resolve these cases, right? These present political questions. We are not going to weigh in. But then the,

term, the court basically gives itself the power to oversee the ability of state Supreme Courts to tell state legislatures that they have violated the state constitution when it comes to gerrymandering. Yes. Right? So they are nosy. And a federal Supreme Court should not be putting its nose into a state constitution if it can avoid it. Well,

You know, the fact that it deals with congressional elections, they feel like that gives it a role to be able to have some oversight. But in reality, they don't want the heat that comes with directly regulating partisan gerrymandering. And in fact, I would say some of the justices actually think that it's OK as a practice. Right. Justice Alito, he wrote the opinion out of Louisiana that I referenced. He's the one who wrote it. He actually says that, you know, partisan gerrymandering doesn't offend the Constitution at all.

Right. And and that hadn't been the court's posture. The court's posture for the last 25 years, they were arguing over who should police it, not the fact of whether or not excessive gerrymandering violates the Constitution. So we're in this situation that the Supreme Court keeps saying, well, Congress is going to have to tell them what to do. And then Congress keeps not saying anything because everything is so gridlocked politically. So, I mean, does that inevitably lead to conservatism?

Um, that's, that's a great question. I think in some part, I start from the baseline that the system is inherently conservative. So I don't know if, you know, pun things to a Congress that won't do anything is saying we are inviting conservatism. I think the system itself, the conservatism is built in. And this is why I treat the last well, really the 60s and everything that happened after that is conservative.

that's an aberration in our system, right? Because it pushed back against this notion that we are a conservative system. You have so much rapid change and that's unusual for this country. Well, it's so interesting because it gave people this sense that there are

as divorced from politics, that there are rights that should be inalienable and unrelated to politics, which is a nice idea, but unachievable without politics. Yeah. Yeah. It's an idea that makes me warm and fuzzy. Yes. Right. Like that's warm and fuzzy, but at the end of the day, it's always going to be a legislature to some extent. Do we hate politics though? Okay. So let me, okay, let's talk about this. Right.

You don't hate politics. You hate partisanship. Okay. Right? The court has always been political. Yes. Think Marbury versus Madison. The court says, we get to decide what the Constitution means. That was a political decision. Right? They said this 200 years ago. The court has always been political. We don't like the fact that the court is partisan. That is what people mean when they talk about the court being a political entity. It's really partisan. At the end of the day, what you want is just periodically one of them doing something a little bit

crazy. Like there was this decision in 1990 where Scalia was like, you burn flags if you want to, that's free speech. And everybody was like, oh, Scalia is not just a Republican. He is somebody who is looking at this philosophically. When you had, you know, Kennedy and even O'Connor in her way coming out for gay marriage or sodomy legalization, it felt like these people were not just

of their parties. But when, especially when it comes to election law, it so frequently feels like they are more and more behaving as though they are operatives of their party. Well, I mean, the people you just cited were in the majority in Bush versus Gore. Yes. All right, let's, for the children in the audience...

Let's just teach them a little bit about what happened in 2000. Tell everybody about Bush v. Goer. So the election in 2000 came down to Florida. They had to have a recount. And because the Florida Supreme Court didn't set uniform counting standards for the recount, the U.S. Supreme Court stopped the recount. But that effectively meant that George Bush was the president. Right.

And so that decision is credited with sort of creating this partisan environment that we live in. But when Fenira and I went to law school, every...

in the law was determined by two and a half sentences that Sandra Day O'Connor had been able to bring herself to. Facts. As the person directly in the middle of things. And so on so many issues when it came to civil rights or religious freedom, she felt sensible. But then in Bush v. Gore, she was like, oh no, if Al Gore gets elected, I'll have to stay on the Supreme Court for four more years and I won't be able to play as much tennis as I want to.

She like actively at an election party complained about that and then turned around a couple of days later and issued...

this decision, which had the weirdest... Tell them about the little thing at the end. Oh, gosh. So at the end of the decision, the Supreme Court basically says this decision is only good for today, which had never happened before. So later courts couldn't cite it as precedent. Do you remember the episode of The Simpsons where we find out the principal Skinner has been Armin Tamzarian? And at the end of the episode, they say, let us never speak of this again. The Supreme Court did that. Yes.

The Supreme Court was like, this is the law, but never bring this up at a party. Yeah. So Dean Tolson, for a lot of very understandable reasons, a lot of people are underenthusiastic about this election. And a lot of people who kind of trust that American government can keep going or maybe shouldn't keep going are.

aren't that enthusiastic about voting for either of the parties. And as somebody who has spent your life studying and fighting to give people access to the vote, I wanted you to talk about why you think it is important for people to vote. Okay. So I'm going to start with something that's not going to be popular. I fight for the right of people to vote and they can also choose not to vote. And that's not popular. I also don't weigh in on who people should vote for. I

I, you know, the part of the beauty of democracy is that it's messy and it's complicated and you embrace all of it in all aspects. But that being said,

Voting is important because people are working hard to take it from you. And they wouldn't be working so hard to take it from you if it wasn't important. People focus on a presidential election every four years. There are elections pretty much every year in some way, shape or form. And even in a presidential election year, there are elections up and down the ballot. So even if you hate the people running for president, there are other elections where you can exercise your political power. And in fact, those elections will probably have a bigger payoff for you in terms of your day to day.

Right. So it's just very important to exercise your political power and not get so disinterested that you lose sight of the fact that it's not just about the presidential election. And also, my people were enslaved. I do not have the privilege of saying this doesn't matter when people die for me to even have the right to write the things I write, to say the things I write without fear of.

anyone firing me or hurting me or any, so for me, it's a respect issue. And I imagine for a lot of people of color across this country, they feel the same way. So that's in and of itself is a good reason to vote. And for women and for people who had to fight so hard for citizenship, like there are so many people in this country traditionally would have been denied access to the political process. And, you know, people fought really hard to, to, to get it. Um,

It goes to your baseline, your question about the baseline being conservative, right? More people were excluded than included. Disability, religion, right? It's not just race, it's gender. If we want to stop this from being a country that is by and for racism,

white male landowners, we kind of have to do some of the work. We do. And also to your point about elections, anytime people are like, oh, the election is just Coke and Pepsi. I'm always like, but there's an election four months before that when there are like two ladies and a school teacher and a guy who's kind of crazy and go figure out which of them you want to vote for. Like we get to do that too. Learn to love Dr. Pepper. All right.

Dean Tolson, Democrats seem like committed to forcing a SCOTUS ethics bill through the Senate. First of all, do you think if they pass that, the Supreme Court will let it stand? I don't think it matters, right? What's the enforcement mechanism? Right, exactly. Like, in theory, a Supreme Court justice can be impeached, right? And so, I mean, you can use the ethics code as a basis for impeachment, but it's really hard to clear that bar. Yeah.

Abe Fortas did so much less than Clarence Thomas and got his ass booted back in the 70s. It's a different time. This is like none of those people are getting impeached. But it's probably going to be an uphill battle, which is why I wanted to float some of our own ethical rules for the Supreme Court in front of you in a game called Let's Get Ethical. Are you down to play? Okay. Okay.

Okay, first rule. If you are on the Supreme Court, you can't fly an insurrectionist flag in front of your beach house, even if your spouse is extremely annoying about it. Do you think that that would be an okay rule or not? It's very specific. It is. Okay.

I think they have a good policy on recusing yourself when there's a clear conflict of interest. That probably applies to that. Okay. So what would be like a path for making some sort of enforceable recusal policy? Because right now it literally is just everybody gets to choose. Right.

And like there was one time back in the 60s or 70s when just everybody had Alcoa stock and everybody had to recuse themselves. And so they had a bunch of people who weren't Supreme Court justices make the ruling. But like nobody recuses themselves anymore, do they? Well, they do. I mean, they do occasionally. But it's in cases where people don't even take note of it because people are watching the high profile cases to see who recuse and people don't recuse in those cases. All right. So how could we do something for enforceable recusal?

- I don't know. I just don't think that there's a good answer to that. This doesn't mean that Congress doesn't have other tools. I mean, Congress has the power of the purse.

Congress could always strip the court's jurisdiction over certain matters. Yeah. These are things that Congress has done in the past. I'm not necessarily advocating it here, but I know that there's always this sense that because nothing's happening, Congress can't do anything. And that's just not true. There are things Congress can do. And I'm not saying that they're necessarily appropriate in this circumstance that at least should inform the conversation. Yeah.

All right. Rule two. If you make a ruling that impacts a community of which you are not a member, you have to dress up as a member of that community for a day and live as one of them like when Tyra wore the fat suit. I don't know if a day is long enough. Okay. If you uphold anti-trans or gay legislation, you do not get to listen to the fun 90s dance music they play at CVS or Walgreens. Fair. Fair.

Once a year, the entire Supreme Court has to go on a girls trip to somewhere in the Caribbean where they will drink a few margs, get in the hot tub, and really reconnect. That's like my worst nightmare. Being in Tulum and running into Alito in his swim shorts. No, thank you. Okay. If you make Sonia Sotomayor cry, you have to apologize privately, publicly, and with a cookie cake of her choosing. Here, we found an example. This is a hardship cookie cake that says, I'm very sorry. Okay.

Do you think that should be required? As long as you have to also post it on social media. Okay. A majority of justices should be allowed to force recusal from a justice who has a personal interest in the case. I actually like that. Okay. Yeah, I like that. But then force them under threat of what? I mean, like, that's the thing. I mean, if you had an operation and there was a formal vote, one could argue that they then just like...

couldn't sit i mean the thing is is like collegiality matters so much them being able to listen to each other and respect each other and say if you pull your if you don't pull your bullshit i won't pull my bullshit and like it's why when you get those stories about oh scalia and ginsburg were friends it sounds so corny and so all of that but like

It kind of matters. And it also kind of matters that your colleagues looking at you and being like, why the fuck are you listening to this? Your son is like counsel for that department. But I do think that particular rule raises the question of what the chief justice can do, right? Because the norm setting starts at the top. Yes. I mean...

Say what you like about Roberts. He has tried a little bit, a little bit, like even when it came to the Affordable Care Act of just being like, well, I will not wreck this government. Let's try to let Obama have the one thing he was elected to do happen. Like Roberts has made some noises. It hasn't been enough, but somebody has to set norms, you know? I don't even know if that's about norm setting, you know, and I'm also not in business of congratulating people for doing what they're supposed to do anyway. Yes, fair. Fair.

Okay, two more rules.

Justices should have to disclose all gifts received and provide explanations for why those gifts don't violate the emoluments clause. I love it. Could one take emoluments clause action against somebody in a situation like Thomas? Or is the answer just impeachment is the only response? There's nothing you can do without 60 senators. I feel like under our current system, impeachment is the only answer because it's really tough to think about who would have standing to bring the emoluments clause challenge. Yeah.

Like, I feel like it's so easy to be like, Democrats don't do anything when we elect them with 51 senators. And it is just sort of like, baby, let's just see what 63 feels like. You know, let's see what it feels like when we can say, go fuck yourself, Kristen. We're passing laws. All right. And finally, but every justice must wash their robe themselves once a month. Minimum? Twice a month. Yeah.

Ladies and gentlemen, Dean Freditas Holson. Up next, we got Clark Gregg. Don't go anywhere. This is Love It or Leave It, and there's more on the way.

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Ladies and gentlemen, please welcome to the stage a man so nice his parents gave him two first names. It's the incredible Clark Gregg. And Clark, you've requested that Dean Tolson stay. May I ask why?

I just thought it really raised the possibility of keeping the discourse at a higher level than I was going to take it down. But, like, Clark, you came to play today. Our producers asked what you wanted to talk about, and you said, AI, the election, and what else? AI, the election, and distortions of late-stage capitalism. Yeah.

So what do you want to start with? I think that was my press rep must have said that. I don't know about any of those things. I was enjoying it. It seems like all we can really talk about right now is the Supreme Court, because what the fuck?

I mean, I'm sorry. Pardon me. Sorry. Sorry, Dean. Sorry. It's so hard because like we've we've expected the Supreme Court to be the adults in the room while electoral politics has been kind of babies about things. And we're at a point in time when we really need some electoral politicians. We we need some electoral leadership in this country so that the Supreme Court will stop with their bullshit. Maybe we have to be the change that we need.

Right. We had a wonderful conversation about institutions before we came out here. And I think that we look at these institutions as saviors. But think about Atlanta and Georgia in 2020. Right. The reason that Georgia went blue in 2020 was people on the ground. That's grassroots. That was not people litigating election cases in court. That was not the state. That was obviously not the state legislature. It's not it's not the institutions. It's the people who are.

effectuating the change that they want to see. I mean, the terrible thing about America, we were talking about it before, is democracy kind of has to be one of your hobbies. Like to some extent, Americans have to like be participatory in public life. Like we recently went through something in our industry where, you know, we had to step up. We had to go on strike and say that we were going to put aside democracy.

You lost – we all lost a year of our career setting – drawing a line in the sands. Like, was that hard for you? It was very hard for me. It was very hard for me not just in terms of personal hardship and – but it was hard for me to watch other people who I've known for 25 years who work in all the other crafts unions and watching them suffer but still stay in solidarity and –

You know, like in any union action that goes on for a while, people started to buckle. They started to flinch. And at the same time, it felt to me like we were seeing something that's happening everywhere now.

It wasn't just about us at all. We just seem to be a very visible frontline fight against companies that are working not for what's best for this particular art form or business in the long run, but what serves the investor class. How do we gut this industry? Hollywood was working fine, and still they started chasing these Silicon Valley models. Truly, like every time you ask yourself why TV and movies are bad, the answer is because they are trying to make it a Silicon Valley, like,

you know, maximize disruptor. The two main companies that we work for, two of the main companies are Amazon and Apple, and neither of them need this business. But I did feel truly ridiculous when we were at a point in time when like the loud crying voice for labor in America was, you know, us, you know, mimes and silly men. We're in big trouble. Yes.

But in the past, it's always been, oh, really? Poor actors and TV writers, really? Are you suffering? But in this particular moment, I think people were able to see the numbers and see, oh, no, like every other business, the middle class has been gutted from this. Most people who you think are making a great living can't afford their insurance. Like, truly, this country used to be good at making cars. We are not good at making cars anymore. And we've been good at making TV shows and movies for a long time. And that's given us a lot of power internationally now.

And like our government is letting this industry be torn apart. Like one thing specifically talk about what AI means for creative work. Cause it feels speculative and weird and,

But it also, this is something that I actually came to learn about. I, I, on the picket line, I was stopped a bunch because they said, there's a rumor that you have worked in a superhero franchise. That means you probably are in the, at the cutting edge of that technology. Have you been scanned? And I said, I've been scanned multiple times. You walk into a little dome, there's a thousand cameras in there. And all of a sudden there's a little digital you that they can do whatever they want with. And in the past it's been, they'll use it in a car crash or something. And you're kind of glad they have it.

But at a certain point, the union walked away from the union, said, look, we're very close to a deal. You just have to promise us that you can't use that without our permission in the future, without paying us. And after we're dead and the corporations walked away from the table and I thought, oh, my God, that's because that's what they wanted.

I mean, and for Nita, he's so scary to have all of these new innovative ways of changing our industry that doesn't have settled law about it right now, where you really can. And like a background actor can go in, sign something they didn't read, and then a corporation can use their likeness forever. Yeah.

So change is the only constant, right? And so AI has changed every field. It's even changed the delivery of legal services. And so I think everyone is being forced to think through how that technology changes your day-to-day and changes your ability to learn to live in. But I will say to just listening to your exchange, one of the things that I took from everything that happened in your field is that

the beauty of the collective, right? Like it's just a lesson that translates across fields, right? The change that you can effectuate if you stick together is a theme that very much resonates in our system of elections, right? When we talk about all of the change that we need, whenever you focus on an individual, it's very hard to get things done. And the country has become very individualistic. And I think the strike reminded everybody of what you can do when you stick together. Yeah.

Dean Tolson, one of the cool things about the strike was that Chris Pine might be there. Do you think if more elections involved Chris Pine maybe voting at people's polling place, that would improve election turnout? I don't know if he's my favorite Chris. All right. Let's do this. Favorite Chris. I don't know. Okay.

Clark, I mean, you've worked with several of them, which is your favorite Chris. I mean, I have an implicit bias with the Chris Evans Captain America character. I mean, yes. I mean. And that my character was deeply in love with him. Okay. So tell us about that. Was that part of your truth in the performance?

You're trying to get me really written out forever. Yes. I mean, I say I watch you while you were sleeping. I had some design input on your costume. There's some kind of deep crush. Look, this is the kind of passion that AI can never achieve. That's true.

So tell us about you have a new movie with the amazing Jane Squibb that is coming out. And everyone, I had a friend who saw it at a festival and she said it's amazing. It's a gorgeous movie. June Squibb, 95-year-old actress, years on Broadway, and then really started doing films only in the last seven or eight years, got nominated for Nebraska. Alexander Payne knows what he's doing. Yes, he does. Yes.

She plays a woman, a grandmother who's widowed, who's very close with her grandson. He helps her with her computer. It's all very familiar. And then she gets a call from him saying that he's been in a terrible accident. He's hurt somebody. They need $10,000 right away. And she immediately sends it off. And of course, it had nothing to do with him. And myself and Parker Posey, the grandson's parents, they're

We're pretty sure this means she can't take care of herself anymore. She's not doing well. And she turns off her hearing aids and she gets mad and she decides she's going to go get her goddamn money back. So it's the world's slowest moving action movie. That sounds amazing. But also you said two words that we can't just move past. This is Pride Month. Parker Posey. What's that like? I'd known her since the early days of Party Girl in New York.

And I had not had the working together experience. And it was all that I could ever have imagined and more. So when it comes to working with another actor, do you like people who are like crisp professionals? Do you like people who are bringing a little bit of crazy to the game? How does living in the ping pong ball world of Marvel impact you personally?

when you come to something smaller like this what experience are you looking for I spent most of my time in something smaller like this yes and then did a little kind of beautiful night night what's that called moonlighting yes in the kind of superhero world um

You know, every project wants its own form of kind of crazy. You want the people who can eventually turn it off when it's time. Yes. And that one, this is a really fast-moving, witty family movie that feels a little Chris Guesty at times. Yeah. So I felt really lucky to kind of draft on her fast wit. Yeah.

Frenita, when you hear stories of interesting crimes like this being turned into movies, do you think it is your obligation as the dean of the USC law school to start just like a little shop where you guys sell movie premises to actors and producers? Yes.

I feel like my obligation is to try to get my students internships and externships in these types of movies. Like that, that's my obligation. And also since the interns might've made more than the crew, you have it since Clark and I are new best friends. Yes. You have to edit in that. Chris Evans is my favorite Chris. Oh, okay. Fair. Um, but, uh, Clark, you've also been doing some writing, um,

Yes, I've worked as a writer a bit. I wrote a movie years ago called What Lies Beneath. I've written and directed a couple of films and recently I had nowhere to put

A, my rage at the political scene. Yeah. And B, how many hours I've spent watching news channels. Right. So I've been writing my first play at this advanced stage. It's called Smear and it's about a political operative. Clearly it's watching a lot of news, but like what moved you to want to sort of like explore and work around within the political world? Yeah.

Well, I'd always wanted to write a play. It's what I started out doing. And I kind of started really writing in earnest here in town and really worked as a screenwriter a lot. And it just felt like one of those things like, good Lord, I better hurry up if I'm going to do that. And there was an idea I had about somebody who's really...

jaded part of the system, a system that's so cynical and is since this guy's been canceled, essentially, he shows up on election eve when a shoe in Democratic incumbent on the eve of the election seems to have shown up.

In a blurry cell phone video on TikTok, naked in a hotel hot tub with an underage girl. And nothing is what it seems. And it's just pulling the thread of a giant conspiracy that may or may not mean the end of democracy. Well, I mean... Sounds very realistic. We were actually talking about this in the green room that you were saying a lot of the difficulty with democracy right now is us not being able to...

deal with social media. Like, how do you think that impacts the 24 hour news cycle? People can't pay attention long enough to really appreciate the severity of different controversies. Yeah. Right. So even this story, it will be a 24 hour news story, maybe, maybe 48 hours. Right. And before we move on to the next thing, because we have a constant need for new information that wasn't there before. I mean, we lived in a time before I'm dating myself, but it was like what a handful of stations. Yeah. And then,

And now you I mean, you can literally find a news station that caters to whatever your political preference is. There's no pushback.

Yes. And one that will radicalize your parents in some direction that you never wanted to happen. Did it give you a greater sense of strength to take control of a narrative about something like that happening? Like, because I think it makes us all feel really scared to know that there is this infinite possibility for things to be faked and manufactured and all of that. Having a narrative. So during the strike, I got a call saying, listen, this is very last minute, but

we need somebody for the union to go to testify in front of Congress. Yeah. And I was like, okay, how can I help? And they're like, no, you, it would be you. And it was about AI. And there was a piece of legislation called the Data Privacy Act. And they briefed me on the plane. I felt so cool and so scared. And

I went in front of a congressional committee about this particular bill, which – the purpose of which is that we – one would own – and this is citizens. So much of our voice data, our voice, our fingerprints, all that stuff is out there now. And that –

The idea being that unless you can own it. Commercial use of likeness. This is a backdoor way, exactly right, to get all the things that the companies either were or weren't going to give us at that point. And they said, listen, here's a commercial that Tom Hanks did for some rando insurance company, except Tom Hanks didn't do it. And this certainly had the attention of the Congress people.

Because they're very aware that a deep fake thing could happen to them at any moment. And to go to what you said, it doesn't have to be true. It doesn't even have to be very true. They're getting very, very believable. And by the time it's been pulled off and disproven, it's like the retraction on page six. It will have already been through the two news cycles and you will never be able to reach 75% of the people who ingested that. Yeah. I mean, it's so scary and it's hard not to feel powerless, you know?

So that's grim. It's so crazy. And when people talk about sort of like creatively generated stuff from ChatGPT, just sort of realizing it's just theft. It is just a machine, broad scale stealing from a bunch of people. And we act as though it's impossible to figure out where it came from. A couple of months ago, I did stand up for the Democratic House members and I had to just be around them while they were doing their messaging meetings. And I went to the meeting on AI and there came this horrifying moment when I,

an amazing hardworking member raised her hand and asked the like head of technology from the white house. So who regulates this? Is this a justice department? Do we create a new department? Uh, is, does every department do this themselves? And the lady from the white house was like, you guys have to figure that out. And just like the chill throughout that room of people having a huge task that they,

don't know how to deal with. Let me, I need to push back a little bit on the fear though. So this is technology that can be abused. Hope is coming in a pink blazer, ladies and gentlemen. But there's also a lot of opportunity here. So one thing we're doing at the law school is we're trying to teach our students how to use this technology responsibly and ethically, right? So it is a tool that you use. It is not a replacement, right? You do not ask chat GPT to write your brief.

Right. But if you are working on your outline and you need help filling in your outline and then you go from there, OK. Right. Like it's you don't want to use a technology in a way where you're representing that this is your work when it's something you've stolen off the Internet. But to the extent that it helps you to brainstorm through ideas or, you know, just brainstorming.

Even more importantly, AI can help us democratize the delivery of legal services. Yeah. Right. If a poor person should not have to hire a lawyer to fight a ticket. Right. If chat GPT can help with that or if there's some way of using AI to deal with sorting through various rules and regulations to help someone understand the law, that is a good thing.

It's just that we see something new and we get scared because we're used to people abusing it. And we have to, it goes back to norms. We have to train ourselves to understand that this is something that assists us. It's not a replacement. Okay. But I'm not pushing back on your hope. I don't want to be the hope pusher backer on her. But what, this goes to my distortions of late stage capitalism thing. And maybe I'm just going to become Marxist right here and now, but the,

Get a Domian. Where's a Domian? Get Domian. A Domian is a Marxism doula. Ha ha ha.

That's what I've been looking for. Look at Boeing, okay? Boeing starts to change who's watching the safety stuff to drive down the cost to look better for their stock price. And all of a sudden, the doors are flying off. And you see that in every business in this country. So you've got this incredibly powerful tool that seems designed to eliminate members of the workforce. It's hard to feel safe. Are you telling me that America's biggest corporations being incapable of looking more than three months in the future is a bad thing? Right.

No. OK, you're right. I think that you proven it. If we can prove that AI is just supposed to be a tool, we show how people are indispensable. Yeah. Right. It is supposed to assist people, not replace people. No, this is always my line when people are like, aren't you scared about it taking your job as a writer? It's like it will take the shitty jobs like AI can 100 percent write an award show. It can 100 percent write all of the tosses for an award show, but it can't make something good, you know.

That was the main thing I got caught up short by a conservative member of that congressional meeting. He said, so if it can make better stuff than what you guys are making –

shouldn't it? Shouldn't it be able to, if they can do that better and cheaper? And I thought, well, that's a really good question because I don't know if they can make it better. I suspect they can't, but what I'm really afraid of is the idea that they turn it over and it creates this kind of soulless facsimile and we don't really see it happening until we're soulless too. But also like, shouldn't we be better at seeing the soulless facsimiles? And honestly, I don't know that the execs in charge necessarily now would distinguish between it, but I think our viewing audiences are going to understand what

crap that looks like all the crap I've ever seen before and something that looks new and interesting looks like which brings me to this question which is entirely unpolitical and entirely about your creative process as like an actor who is also a writer like what are your worst habits and what are your best habits that you bring to the process of writing as an actor like does that make sense to you as a question 100% I luckily I know what's really fun to say yes I know when it's fun to have subtext I know yes

I know from being inside stories, that stuff. Yes. But I guess I'm lucky because the process of writing is so insanely isolated and lonely. Yes. And luckily I can sometimes go operate in a more kind of social environment as an actor. Yes. I mean, it's good to get that energy back, but then you have to go be sad and alone because that's the only place creativity happens. Sad. But to unsad us, would you like to play a game?

Yes, please. Okay. You also have to play. She's the reputable one. She didn't even get a choice. She doesn't have a choice. She's here. Dean. She's a Dean. She's essentially my co-host at this point in time.

All right. Clark is Hollywood in 2024. And I think we'd be beautiful fools to think that AI won't be playing a part in TV and film going forward. And we all know that you've had a full body scan because of all of the superhero things. And which is why after, sorry, which is why we're playing a game that's called role of an after lifetime. We're going to present you with things after you die. Do you provide consent for your likeness to be used in this work?

Okay? Shoot. All right. The newer adventures of even older Christine. You play a cyborg version of your character, Richard, who has had his consciousness uploaded to a synthetic humanoid shell, which is still matching wits with his ex-wife, Julia Louis-Dreyfus, will play Christine because that woman does not age. Do you consent to doing that project? Thousand percent immediately. All right. It's like Blade Runner with ex-wives. Yes.

No one respects New Adventures of Old Christine enough. It's like really good. Ladies in airports do. I mean, one of our great Wanda Sykes vehicles of many. Phil, a gripping drama about the daily life of your character from Marvel, Agent Coulson, as he discovers he has stiff person syndrome, that thing that Celine Dion has, is played entirely realistically, but somehow is nominated for and wins Best Television Musical or Comedy at the Golden Globes.

You know, I'd be tempted to go with it, but I'm really, I'm worried about the porn title that stiff person syndrome becomes. Does it, does it change it? If you know that Celine Dion comes on as herself for the last five minutes of it, nineties TV movie style, my heart will go on. Okay. The human sting to an HBO adaptation for TV. That is basically a Muppet babies version of the 20, uh, 2003 Robert Benton drama. Um,

starring Anthony Hopkins and Nicole Kidman based on the Philip Roth novel. You return as Nelson Primus, and it's not entirely clear why. Will you do The Human Stain 2? No, it's problematic in that Anthony Hopkins is playing a biracial person, and I think it's best left in the past. That's fair. Like so many things related to Philip Roth. It was interesting then.

29 dresses you portray the 29th dress in the third movie in the 27 dresses universe reboot but your AI avatar is given a lot more creative control than you'd expect and so that's something Katherine Heigl will star in okay she gets a bad rap Mean Girls oh really did you work with her

No, I just think she gets a bad rap. I hear she's very nice. I didn't like that movie where she was a news reporter in Sacramento. 27 Dresses is good, though. She's awesome in suits, though. The suits of songs. Hey, Franita, the three of us need to get together and put together a soapsedural, okay? This town is hungry for soapsedurals. Are you in?

In. Okay. Mean Girls 7, now they're dads, as Craig Heron, a red-headed stepdad who must survive in the animalistic social environment created by other dads at his local CrossFit.

The fur will fly. Yes. You'll be topless a lot. You'll be topless a lot. Okay, I'm out. Okay. All right. Donald Trump is a sympathetic presidential biopic. Donald Trump and a sympathetic presidential biopic, President DJ, about an alternative history where Donald Trump is both president and a Skrillex-level concert DJ, written by Tony Kushner and Doris Kearns Goodwin, but through chat GPT. Is he going to do the dance that looks pornographic? Yes. I bet. Okay.

And finally... The square list is cultural misappropriation. And finally, will you play Nermal in Garfield 5, Garfield Gets Hysterical, in which Nermal is a loquacious gay writer and comedian trying desperately to finish the script for Garfield 6, clawing my way to the top. It's very Charlie Kaufman and meta. Wait, is this a buddy picture with us? I think so, yeah. Now I'm in! I guess I'm playing Garfield. Please. All right.

Well, that's lovely. You seem committed to most things. I mean, I don't turn down a lot. It's the life of a character. What do we need to do to make this a functional holographic will? What do we need to do to make this legally enforceable after Clark is dead? Oh, I'm going to get scanned again, aren't I? The only reason he's saying yes is because he'll be dead.

I mean, making money passively is always a good idea. Thank you so much, Clark. Thank you so much, Dean Tolson. Thank you. More fun. Thelma hits theaters June 21st. And everybody, I haven't watched it yet, but everybody says it's really, really great. It's really good. Really good. All right. So when we're back, it's the right wheel.

Good news, everyone. This is the last episode of Love It or Leave It without your fearless leader, John Lovett. He's returned from the island just in time to wing his way to another faraway land, North Carolina. That's right. Lovett makes his grand return with three shows next week. Charlotte on June 19th, Asheville on June 20th, and a second show in Asheville on June 21st. Please get your tickets now as they are flying off the shelves. If you don't happen to be in Charlotte or Asheville this week, big mistake. Huge mistake.

Luckily, you will still get to hear every single second of all three shows wherever you get your podcasts. Our Charlotte show will be released Friday, June 21st. The first Asheville show will be on Sunday, June 23rd. The second Asheville show comes out Tuesday, June 25th instead of our usual What a Week day. After that, you can find our boy in Boston for a 10.30 p.m. show on Friday, June 28th. Ooh, love it after dark.

That episode will come out on Saturday, June 29th, but please be patient with us. It starts late, and Levitt will have literally been on a tropical island for six weeks. Who knows where his head is at? Will he ever eat coconut again? I don't know. It's like bringing a capybara into a comedy club. Sure, it'll probably be fine, but who knows how it'll use a microphone? Get your tickets and find out. East Coast, we'll see you soon. Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen.

We got Clark Gregg. We got Dean Ferdinand Tulsa. We got James Adomian. Guy, you called me in earlier when you brought up, you said I was the doula of communism. And ironically, of course, when you wanted me to come talk about communism, the doors of the studio were locked.

Why didn't you beat them down with the rest of the proletariats? I do. I give a button for you, though, which is from each. This is this is how the communist solution to AI from each according to his memes. One one zero zero one one zero zero zero each. According to his call. Thank you very much, folks. I'll be here.

Frankly, I mean, it feels like a lot for a button. All right. Well, welcome back. It's time for the rant wheel. Dean Tolson, is it on you to rant? It is on me to rant. There are so many things I hate. OK. OK, so I'll be thematic. Right. Voter suppression. Right. Voter suppression is as old as the union. But we have to do better. This is like.

What? We're almost 200 and some odd years into this thing. We have to get to a place where we allow more people to vote. It should not be so hard to vote, even in California, where it's easier to vote relative to other places. I sit there with my eight page ballot, pulling my hair out, trying to figure out these different offices and who these people are.

Right. It's just there has to be a better way to do it in this country. And we don't spend enough time trying to figure out solutions because we are spending too much time trying to just win. And we justify it by saying that the, you know, the ends justify the means. And as long as we have that mindset, then we will never get ahead as a country. We have to stop assuming that America will always be the number one country in the world. The democracy, we have to fight for it. We have to be better towards each other. We have to be better as a collective and not just individuals. Right.

That's a good rant. Thank you. All right, back to the railwheel. All right. No one else is going to save democracy with their rant. Thanks for raising the bar, Mr. Gregg. Oh, what do I want to rant about? Okay, what's up with these new Republicans? The old ones I understood. I grew up with them. They hated communism and KGB agents.

Everybody wants to take a vacation with Vladimir Putin from that party. I don't understand. They loved a good war. They were big fans of a good war. We have a perfectly good war against some communists. And all they want to do is stop funding it. I don't really understand that. The other thing is, I'm trying to keep track of the reproductive freedom stuff. But let me get this straight. You don't want there to be abortions, but you also don't want there to be birth control.

Where in the birth process do you want to start murdering people? Or is it later once they get into preschool? I find the whole thing completely confusing. And IVF, that's not okay? I'm completely confused by them. I was much more comfortable with the predictable lockjaw William F. Buckley's I grew up with. I mean, they at least had good country clubs. You can't even count on that anymore. All right. Clark Gregg, sticking it to those new Republicans.

Let's go back to the rant wheel. Call. Adomian, it's on you. I'm spending a lot of time wasting time on bad, dumb video games on my mobile phone. I'm playing the ones where there's an army of dudes and they have a number floating above their head.

And you can walk around and anything under your number, you can fuck up. So you say 15 and then you see a bunch of salamanders in armor and it says seven times two and you're like, we can fucking get it. And then a sea monster rises and it's like...

And it says the square root of 400. And you're like, uh, high level calculus on the field of battle. And then you lose, but they don't give you the dignity of just wasting your time and playing the game again. They make you sit through an ad for an even dumber game and you can't close it. Cause if you close the X, you download it. And I keep getting the ad for the dumb King. Who's like, there's fire and water. How do you,

become king of this monarchy? I'm on levels 1200 of the dumb king game. Also, are you playing a math learning game? I started dumb and it got dumb. Alright, let's go to the rant wheel. I wonder who it will be. I, for one, am shocked that it is me. Okay.

You can't release your show and say that it's a limited series and then have your show do well and say, oops, no, it's going to be a regular series because you already killed off your most interesting character, Shogun. No!

And oops, I'm sorry, spoilers, but also Shogun forced me to do it. It's an amazing show and I love it, but it will never be as good again because they told a complete story, kind of. James, did you watch all of Shogun? The last episode is not an ending. The last episode is the main character saying, I dreamed about a

battle and it's like oh well if you knew that your story wasn't done you should have just given them more money to make a good show or said that there would be a second season this is exactly what Clark was talking about those corporations are destroying our perfectly good 1980s somewhat orientalist novels that new showrunners have turned into more progressive and interesting television Shogun is really good but it's over the lady's dead laughter

Dean Tolson, have you watched Shogun yet? No. I just ruined it for you, but also it's real good. I won't remember. We'll always have the Milton Bradley games. Do you ever get sad that you don't get to be in a 1980s broadcast television TV movie where people just talk in rooms for four hours? In MOW? Yes. No, but I'm talking miniseries. I'm talking about...

Eight hours of Herman Wook. The Thorn Birds. North and South. North and South. I like Thorn Birds. Andrew Stevens. Get sexy. Get sexy. Get sexy.

Did you ever see Napoleon and Josephine? No, who was in it? Oh my God. Armando Sante as Napoleon. Wonderful. Perfect. Wonderful. In English, the way it needs to be. Probably made for a dollar and a half. Probably with sweeping battle scenes with nine people in them. That's entertainment. And Mr. Papadopoulos is also in it. That was seeing people from network broadcast shows on like a movie of the week or...

a miniseries was always like how am I supposed to suspend my belief this is Webster's dad alright okay I'm sorry I did that what is your favorite yes I did it what did you do a woman named Jackie

Oh, fuck. Roman Downey as our nation's first lady. That's fucking glorious. The suits were fantastic. Was that a movie of the week or was that a miniseries? Because I remember that being iconic. It was more than one episode, I believe. Who did you play? Kenny O'Donnell, the president's chief of staff, who went out with him in Maryland. Oh, my God. That's amazing. That's so much fun. Isn't it gorgeous to have a career?

I thought you were going to say to be old, but I'll take either one. Six of one, half dozen the other. All right, you guys, because we need it, because we always need it, we have to go out on a high note. Hi, Lovett. This is Nicole from New York. I'm calling because this week I made my last student loan payment, hopefully ever. And at the end of the month, I will apply for public service loan forgiveness.

I'm just so grateful for all of the work that the Biden administration has done to improve the program. And after 18 years of carrying undergrad and graduate student loans, I'm just so glad to be done with them. And as a public servant, it just means so much.

Thanks. Thanks to everyone who sent us a high note tonight. If you want to send us a message about something that gave you hope, send us a voice memo to L O L I high notes at gmail.com. That's L O L I high notes at gmail.com. Or if you're a friend of the pod subscriber, you have the exclusive ability to leave us your high notes without the hassle of a call or email. Simply head on over to friends of the pod discord server and post a comment or voice memo in the

Hashtag love it or leave it channel or hashtag high notes channel for a chance to hear it featured on the show. Wow, that was amazing. Aren't you floored? Ladies and gentlemen, that is our show. Thank you so much to Mr. James Adomian, Dean Tolson, and the amazing Clark Gregg. There are 142 days until the 2024 election. Have a great night and a great weekend. It's not even. Shoot. Oh.

Love It or Leave It is a Crooked Media production. It is written and produced by me, John Lovett, and Lee Eisenberg. Kendra James is our executive producer. Chris Lord is our producer. And Kennedy Hill is our associate producer. Hallie Kiefer is our head writer. Sarah Lazarus and Jocelyn Kaufman, Peter Miller, Alan Pierre, Will Miles, and Mohana Del Shiki are our writers. Evan Sutton is our editor. Kyle Seglin and Charlotte Landis provide audio support. Stephen Colon is our audio engineer. And we're your listeners.

And Milo Kim is our videographer. Our theme song is written and performed by Sure Sure. Thanks to our designer, Bernardo Serna, for creating and running all of our visuals, which you can't see because this is a podcast. And to our digital producers, David Toles, Claudia Shang, Mia Kelman, and Matt DeGroat for filming and editing video each week so you can. ♪♪♪

It's Love It or Leave It.