United We Swirl: Thursday, November 7th, 2024
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Good morning, Millennials. Welcome back to the toast and happy, what is it, Thursday? Thursday. It should be a Friday, you guys. It's meant to be a Friday. It's enough, is what it is. It's a glitch in the matrix. I was getting ready this morning. I'm like, it's giving Friday. Getting down on Friday. However, it's Thursday. Make it make sense. Literally things I can't do. That's it.

I think the election, like it wasn't meant to be on Tuesday. Like it's more of a latter half sort of thing. It's so true. Like it should be on Thursdays that we find out Friday and then we can all just sort of like sit with the results and then reset by Monday. Agreed. Yeah. That's not what our founding fathers had in mind. They said, you'll sit with it on a Thursday and you'll like it. That's exactly what they said. That's what they said. How was your birthday?

My birthday was amazing. Wow, her birthday was amazing, you guys. Did it have to do with all the positive sort of accolades on my performance? Yes, your beautiful rendition of happy birthday. But it was just like everything you could hope for in a day of just like good vibes, good times, good people. So sorry. Someone made fun of me in the comments. I saw that comment too. It was so funny.

even know what they're talking about until right now. I guess I oftentimes get a frog in my throat and I push through. Yeah, you don't like say, oh, excuse me, and then keep going. You just keep talking until the frog goes away. That sort of perseverance is what we love about you. Thank you. Well, this was a big frog. Unavoidable. Frog? Be gone. Jax, you gotta kiss a couple frogs. You gotta kiss a couple frogs. So,

as I was saying pre-frog just like good times good vibes and I just had like a really lovely beautiful day with my family at home and um like nothing crazy happened I did get a massage which is all I really ever want on my birthday so that was like a little special treat but like Olivia cooked us dinner last night so we had dinner at her place I didn't have to cook all day or clean up she's powering through that frog what is it oh my god I don't know like like are you a smoker

- No, I feel like that comment jinxed me. - Yeah, can you get rid of it though? - How? - Cough, drink, I don't know, snort. Like do what you need to do. Are you sick? - No. - Okay. - No. There's always like a low grade sickness going around. Am I right, kids? - I mean, are you sick in the head? - No, like there's a cough in my house, but like I haven't been coughing. Anyways, frog, be gone.

Hopefully that works. We cast a spell on the frog. If I just finish my birthday, thank you, Olivia, for cooking, even though Brian Gate threatened to come between us once again. By the way, Olivia texted us yesterday. She was like, did you guys talk about me on the toast today? And we were like, yeah, Brian, which we gave you a warning about. And then she was like, and did you talk about me something with gum? And we were like, yeah, we told the 25 Packs of Gum. She said, did you talk badly about me the other day? No, actually, we didn't.

But because she listened to yesterday and when I said something about Olivia, you were like, oh, did she hear what we said? And it just like sounded bad. So it wasn't. But she was like completely unfamiliar with 25 Packs of Gum. She's like, what are you guys talking about? Like she doesn't even know the lore. I feel like she's blocked it out, honestly, because we talk about it all the time. Yeah, I think so, too. But the Brian lore, like that's probably the strongest. Brian. Brian.

And by the way, you guys, Jackie, stay asleep. Stay asleep, stay asleep. There is a second half of this joke that came after the fact that we would make fun of Olivia incessantly. We needed to wake the person up. Because she would always be like, in defense of this story, she would always be like, I don't even like Brian. I don't even like the Backstreet Boys. Like, I always liked NSYNC. You can't be right for that. Right, so we said, okay, you liked NSYNC. Ready? Hold on. Brian. JC Shazay. So Brian would put her to sleep and JC would get her excited. Kind of a dream.

That is a 90s girl's dream. I'm so glad you had a great birthday. I'm so sad I couldn't be there with you. What did you make of your gift? Now, let's rank everybody's gifts. Mine was obviously first. I got Jackie a wallet. She got me a beautiful bag. And it's like, I'll never show like, oh, this is what everyone got me. But there'll be signs. There'll be signs in how much she wears it. No, no, no. You'll see. You'll see the newness coming through. We're going out to dinner tonight, actually. Not to like...

We're really gonna miss you, but it's just like girls night. I'm a girl. Sisters. I'm a girl. Sisters who are here. We're going to dinner tonight and I think I'm gonna try and wear your bag. Yeah, so it's like a clutch wallet. So it could be used as a wallet. You could throw it in your big bag or you could wear it on the night as like, yeah, it's pretty sick. And so would you say it's the best gift from the sisters? I would. That's not right. Why? Why is that not right? Because we don't play favorites.

It's not favorites. It's just a ranking of gifts. We never do that. Okay, I could do it. Like, let me see what everybody got me last year and I'll rank them. Okay. You got me that bag. What did Margo get me? Oh, something I returned. Okay, so you won because you got me something that I loved. Margo got me something that I returned. And Olivia got me something that I never wore, so... Okay.

Well, actually, all my sisters got me really beautiful things. Of course, like Claudia's bag is just the tits. But everyone actually got me like a little bit of Hermes. So it's a very Hermes birthday. And I'll leave it at that. If you see me with some new belts and shoes. Don't come looking for me. You'll know where they came from. Well, so glad you had a great birthday. Thank you. So glad I was able to be there in spirit.

Yeah, so glad we were able to make it through a day that's like mostly about me. Yeah, exactly. And we cruised right through. I meant to ask you before we started recording, like, what are the stories? Are there any? It's a great question. And let me just tell you...

I'll rise to the occasion. You always do. It's a tough week. Yeah. But this is where boys become men. And I've been in this job for a long time. And I know people like to complain about my story selection, but it's times like these. You bitches will be grateful.

Manner maketh man. Yeah. Because I was even thinking like, even my own media consumption, whether it's TV or TikTok, it's only election stuff. And like, what are the celebrities doing? Now you'll have, be able to appreciate my flair for the obscure. It's true. I will be able to appreciate like your food news, your biz news, your. It's actually like not food and business. The stories are actually deece. And also the thing about the celebrities and it,

of course there's so much election news, but like so many celebrities were like- - Involved. - If they were being present, it was like for the election. So like they were all sort of like off doing that. It really left a small pool for like nonpartisan celebrity things. - You mean bipartisan celebrity things.

And or non. Yeah. Actually. Yeah. Non. Yeah. Anything but partisan. Yeah. Yeah. I mean, this, the toast is non slash bipartisan. Like those are our pronouns. Non slash by the toast is anything but partisan. It's so true. All are welcome here. I've seen actually, I've also seen like a lot of discourse regarding influencers and the election, like people's response, either being too much, not enough. And I,

I think my, and it makes sense, but my TikTok algorithm definitely thinks I'm a chronically online person and these crazy takes. - No, where would they get that?

They think that like this is what I want to see because just by the sheer amount of time, like it's a logical conclusion to get to. So I've really seen like some wild stuff in the last couple of weeks. And you can count on – I'm sorry, in the last couple of days. You can really count on the toast to just like be here doing our thing. Yeah. Consistent. That's what we're going to do. And I know like a lot – like I've been receiving a lot of praise. People like love it. And then people are like, you guys are gross. Okay, fine. Like I literally – you can't please everyone. I just want to do my job. Please. If –

- The anything but partisan strategy like doesn't work for you. - A, B, P. - Then the toast is not for you. And the good news is, is there are so many partisan things out there for you. - We are anything but partisan. I love that. We're just for the swirlies, like all swirlies. - We are united we swirly. - You, title, title. United we swirly. United we swirl. Yeah, that's better. - United we swirl. - 'Cause it's a verb.

When you think of swirly, like the word swirly, what do you picture? Like maybe that blue emoji that's like a swirl. Yeah, I always... Or like a little swirl. I always, always picture an ice cream cone. Like maybe I'm just fat. Like I just... Because like when you go to like Tasty Delight or like any place that has vanilla and chocolate, you're like, can I have a swirl? Right? You say that. Yeah, vanilla chocolate swirl. Yeah, swirly. So...

When I think of a visual representation. But a swirl is different than a swirly. It's not. When I think of a visual representation of the word swirl slash swirly, like I think of an ice cream cone. But now I think of a gorgeous girl who's having a great day. Yeah. That's what I think of now. Who's got a song in her heart. Yeah. And has joy to share with the world. And joy in her eyes. Yeah. That's beautiful. And who's anything but partisan. By the way, people have been so funny in the comments because somebody was like,

Dare. No, wait. I have a dare for you guys. Dare you to give actual advice instead of telling people to break up with their boyfriends. Like, I can't. Okay. I actually... I need to discuss that comment because I feel like yesterday...

I did a rare thing and saying like, maybe it's time to hit the eject button. I feel like I typically, I'm in like, I'm typically last to say that, especially when people like are married, I'm a work it out sort of person. And then I feel like I get flack for like giving men too much credit or benefit of the doubt or like having too low of a bar. It's better. That's a really good point. Seriously. I can't win. You can't, maybe can't care. Maybe if some lesbians could write into us about their problems, like that would make it a lot easier. Yeah.

Yeah, but then I don't think we'd be the right ones to be giving advice. Oh, please. I have two lesbian best friends. Don't start with me. Oh, please. I know. Please. I have tons of lesbian friends. Sure. Sure. Sure you do. Oh, you know what I'm doing tonight? No. Brian actually invited us to this event that I'm actually so excited about. It's like a Joan Rivers comedy show tribute with like, you know, Nikki Glaser, like lots of like top comedians and all the proceeds go to Joan's charity and got in.

In Gaza? No, no. In God's love we deliver. Thank you. Not in Gaza. In God's love we deliver. And I'm so excited. One, because I haven't seen the swirlies. And two, I don't know why I'm acting like I'm going to see Joan Rivers. She's not going to be there. But the vibes are high.

Am I wrong for feeling like you should be up there shaking that thing? You are not wrong. Okay. Okay. Even though you know, like, my favorite thing to do is sit. Like, the last place I would want. I wouldn't be looking forward to tonight if I was, like, there. If it was, like, working. No, I want to sit and, like, have a drink and, like, be with my friends. But it's, like, comedians doing, like, comedy in the Elk of Joan Rivers? I think it's, you know how they do, like, Kennedy Center Honors where, like, most of the times the person is alive. But they have people come and, like, do your songs or your shtick and, like, talk about you. I think it's very much like that. Yeah, like...

I'm glad that you're going and supporting, but I'd rather see you up there shaking that thing. You know what came up on my time hop the other day? Not time up. By the way, iPhone literally put time up out of business with their memories thing. By the way, I still use time hop. Shout out time hop. Do you know what came up on my time hop? Do you know what I'm about to say?

No. Do you remember when we like got a tour of Joan Rivers old apartment? Yes. And the air conditioning wasn't on. It was so hot. Yeah. Although we have like all these pictures inside of her house, like really weird. I just was reminded of that. That's like an underrated thing that we've done. Yeah. Things we did. That. Walk through an apartment. Yeah. That's no longer owned by Joan, but at one point was and hasn't been renovated. Sway. If you watch her documentary, which you know, I have a piece of work. Yeah.

We recognize a lot of it from her documentary. Yeah, and we walked it. Yeah, a guided tour. It's kind of a sick apartment. It is sick. Half of it was like maids quarters. Yeah, it's very Gilded Age. Yeah, and she had the whole thing enshrined in gold. It looks like...

Mar-a-Lago. Yeah, like Trump Tower. Thank you. Gold. You know what I meant. Thank you. Mar-a-Lago is designed by Ms. Marjorie Post. Well, I was just telling Ben that when we were watching the election. You know, I have not a lot of fun facts, like trivia, but I had one about Mar-a-Lago. And literally, Ben finished my sentence. I guess I've said it before. I literally have one fun fact. I'm like, do you know that Mar-a-Lago... Ben knows Marjorie Post? Well, I must have told him when I was reading it.

And then I was like, do you know who built it? He was like, yeah, the Post family. Like, how the fuck do you know that? The fuck? I know. I was really shocked. I was like, have you been reading? No, he's like, no, I listen when you talk, which is such a lie. I don't believe that. It's just, yeah. I just feel like, I feel like it was like the, he happened to care because it was the Post family. And like, that's like, no offense, like food and cereal. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was just like, if you just said Marjorie Post, like that wouldn't have resonated. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. Like a strong woman. Yeah. Yeah.

A strong business woman. - Trailblazing Nepo baby. Let's don't get it twisted. - Okay, so that is the thing about Marjorie Post. Well, I love that book and she did do like amazing things. Like she totally invented freezers. - For a Nepo baby. - She was, you know, talk about a foot in the door. Like she was a CEO of like this major company and she literally had no qualifications. - Yeah, but she like did, that's always what we say about Nepo babies. Like I don't mind nepotism, like if you're worthy.

Oh, she was worthy. But yeah, it's true. And she made the business like even bigger than it was. We actually, this is a perfect segue because Redheads just came out today and I brought up that quote that's like the first generation is the risk taker. The second generation is the caretaker of the business. And the third generation is the undertaker. And typically that's the truth. Like the first one builds the thing. The second one like manages it. Fine. And then the third generation just ruins it for whatever reason. I like that. Thank you. Marjorie Poste.

Was a double risk. Like she doubled what her dad had done. She didn't just like manage it. She made it bigger and even better. So credit to Ms. Post for that. And her dad was like an amazing inventor, whatever. But he wasn't like...

He wasn't a big thinker, you know? And like low key, like the thing that made him successful, like he did steal from Kellogg. So yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And Marjorie also like had a very swirly way about her. Oh, and she was like, that girl knew how to live. Like she was spending money in a way that it needed to be spent. Right. But she was also like working all the men in her life. Like, yeah. Like every man was like a stepping stone. Like every husband, her dad, like she was just on her way. Yeah.

- Yeah, got to be the Russian ambassador. - That is definitely, I don't know if that was this year, my favorite book that I read this year. - That was not this year. - It wasn't? - No, we like didn't read this year.

I have read literally three books this year. I've read 14 books and like the redheads, we did 10, 11. Right, right. So that's not good. Yeah. But anyways, new redheads episode is out. God of the woods, amazing book. Read the book. If you're a reader, if you're not a reader, Rebecca did like a big recap at the beginning of the episode. So you can still enjoy an episode with the swirlies. I would love that. And it's like, it's like the number one podcast, like,

of Margot Ashtray, you know? Right, if you're ever looking for like an insight as to what's going on in our younger sister's life, which by the way, I am all the time, that is the place to go ever since her, you know, defunct podcast never came back on the airwaves. Right, so like it's Margot Ashtray's podcast. You might want to listen. It's Margot Ashtray's podcast and we're just sort of like listening to it. Yeah, and I'm just sort of like editing and marketing it, but it's- Yeah, yeah. I just work for her. You're just like an assistant. Yeah.

Well, I'm curious to see what you've cooked up for us in the form of stories. Well, let's get into the Fast Five Stories that you need to know. And the Fast Five Stories that you need to know are brought to you by Hill House Home. You're probably familiar with the Hill House Home company. They invented the viral nap dress, which is the most flattering and comfortable dress with their signature smocking. Celebrities like Jacqueline Follet, Taylor Swift, Olivia Rodrigo, Mindy Kaling have all been spotted in Hill House.

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You're welcome. Our first story. You're welcome. You are welcome. I think you mean, you're welcome. I think I mean, thanks, turntime. Yeah, I think that's what you meant. Our first story, someone who's making news despite the election cycle because she's got a job to do, is Miss Ari Still. So Ariana Grande went on Las Culturistas podcast, which is hosted by Bowen Yang and...

The other guy? His friend, Matt Rogers. Matt Rogers. It's a huge podcast. And I was actually wondering, like, she is doing so much. She's doing all the press for Wicked. Like, no stop is too small for the queen. And I was like, oh, she'll probably do some podcasts. Yeah.

And this actually is a perfect, makes perfect sense for her because Bowen is her close friend. It's a super popular podcast. So it's not like she's just going on some like niche random podcast so she doesn't have to get asked hard questions. - Yeah, no, it's like, it's appropriate. It's acceptable. It's safe for her because he's such a ride or die friend. He is the one who was like started the whole thing about like telling people to shut up that

Trust Ari. The rumors about the infidelity are so not true. He's like, I can't say what happened, but like just know what you all think is a lie. And she doesn't speak on it. And she lets people tell lies on her name. Like he was so fiercely defending her. So obviously she needs to repay the gratitude by going on his podcast. Yeah. So it makes,

a good deal of sense. And she's talking about her music, her Wicked, what's next for her. She's, you know, it's a long ranging interview. So check it out. But she made a couple of headlines talking about her plans for the next 10 years of her career. Okay. She said the next 10 years of her career will scare the absolute shit out of her fans.

Yeah because I feel like Ari is not in the mood to be a pop star like for a little bit. She's taking the Lady Gaga express. So this is what she said. I'm going to say something so scary it's going to scare the absolute shit out of my fans and everyone. I love them and they will deal and we will be here forever. I'm always going to make music. I'm

always going to go on stage I'm always going to do pop stuff I pinky promise but I don't think doing it at the rate that I've been doing it for the past 10 years is where I see the next 10 years well that makes sense because the rate she was doing it was nutty but here's what she said and this makes a lot of sense she said I think I love acting I love musical theater reconnecting with this part of myself who started in musical theater and who loves comedy and it heals me to do that finding roles to use these parts of myself and put them in little homes and characters and bits and voices and songs um

So she said, it really does feed me in a different way than songwriting and writing about my own pain because it's just like constantly reliving that one thing you wrote the song about. So I think she's really got the musical theater bug again because of Wicked. And I think like we're going to see Ari sat on Broadway for a while. Yeah. And you can feel that too. And I do appreciate that she's being honest about like Bus Club, another Club Bus album tour. Like that life is horrible. And yeah.

She in particular really struggled with it. There was a time where every story on the toast was her breaking down and crying on stage, and it clearly wasn't good for her, and she was doing too much. So the fact that she's able to recognize that and then find something that she really loves that does feel like her fans will get fed and they can have music and

I can, I can, this feels like she's telling the truth and I could have guessed this. And even when we were talking about like Grammy nominations and stuff, like I don't, like I don't think she cares. Like I think she's like a little moved on from it. And this is how she started. She, before she was even on Nickelodeon, she was. 13 the musical. That's how she got her start. 13 the musical on Broadway. Also where I got my start. And then she went on to do Victorious, which was musical theater. Yep. Singing, acting, comedy. Mm-hmm. Feat. Mm-hmm.

Mm hmm. Lots of them. Lots of feet. So this to me is congruous with who she is. And I can see why it's so much more attractive to her at the moment when her personal life has been picked apart. So she's not really feeling like she wants to like give her heart away. She also talked about her album positions and the reception to it and how when the album came out and the first singles came out, she felt that the reception was kind of like lukewarm and people like

weren't loving it and so she pulled back some of the promos she had planned to do. I think it was even like a music video for POV. She didn't release it. And I feel like now she said in hindsight now people love that album and like they're like that's the best thing you'll ever do but like at the time she put it out and she kind of felt like people are like oh thanks. No thanks. Yeah. So I think that must be like such a shitty feeling. But it did kind of happen with Yes And. People were like what is this?

But it didn't happen with Eternal Sunshine, I don't think. No, no. I don't think it happened with Eternal Sunshine either. But I also. But Yes And is from Eternal Sunshine. Yeah, it was the first thing she did after like being kind of offline for a while. Yeah. And then everyone was like this is what and like the music video. Now, I my only concern is that like she's and we've known this about Ariana even before she got cast in Wicked. She had been, you know, talking for years about how Glinda was the dream role. It would be the best thing that ever happened to her. If they ever made it to a movie, she would do anything in her power to get that role. And

And so I only worry that like she's having this musical theater renaissance because this role is so important to her and like she won't feel this way if she gets cast as like the greatest showman on Broadway. Do you know what I mean? - Yes, but I think there are probably other roles she could feel this way about. Now that would be a fun-- - But are they being made into movies or revivals on Broadway? Like-- - Well, think about what's on Broadway. Should she be Fanny Brice? - No.

She shouldn't. There are roles that are clearly carved out for Ariana. Like when she did Hairspray Live and she was Penny. Penny Pinkleton. That's obviously a role. Same with Alphaba. No, not Alphaba. Excuse me, Glinda. Legally Blonde on Broadway. She could do. But then there are also probably Broadway shows similar to what Nicole Scherzinger is doing that are new and buzzy and she wants to get into the scripts. Yeah, maybe she wants to have a Dear Evan Hansen moment.

Go have fun with that. Yeah. Even though I feel like she loves living in it. And maybe they're casting for SpongeBob on Broadway. Maybe. Maybe she could do it with Ethan. She could be Sandy. Do you think this is his influence? Like, because he's a Broadway theater kid and like you become like the guy that you're dating. No, but it's also like a, she's from that world, but it is like a little bit like a cult. Like you start hanging out with theater kids and all your whole life is theater, theater, theater, theater. I think it's actually like probably also that. Definitely Wicked, this is who Ari is, but like her.

Her man is a musical theater guy. And like you do pick up hobbies of your man. Look at Claudia. She's golfing. It's so true. Your partner like should in a healthy relationship, like influence your choices and like your how you spend your time. Like, I mean, Ben is always doing things that I like. Right. And he secretly likes him, too. So I think that's also made her realize that she wants to do more of it.

Yeah. I like this journey for Ari. It feels very authentic. Like she's not forcing this. And, and I think from a, it's hard to stand out, especially like in, if I was a pop star in this day and age and like,

like it's just Taylor this, Taylor this, Taylor this, Taylor that. Like I don't know if I would want to try so hard either. Like maybe, like so I actually think it's a good move for Ariana because it does really separate you. Movies are so elevated, very Lady Gaga. Like when we think of the pop girls, of course Lady Gaga is one of them, but she's so elevated. Like she goes to Cannes film. Like she really is, has done an amazing job of like putting herself in another stratosphere as like an artist and an actress. And I think that like,

Ariana Grande is taking the Lady Gaga route and I think it's smart. I also think if Wicked has the success that it probably will have, that she'll be able to write her own ticket and like go to studios and say, let's make this into a movie starring me. And they're going to really want to do that. Yeah.

Yeah. Is, is Legally Blonde the musical being made into a movie? We make, we report some of these stories like this. I can't keep them apart. Legally Blonde 3 or 4 or whatever. Prequel. The L Prime show is coming. Okay. Well, I'm looking forward to Wicked again. Um, I guess I have to say that every time we talk about the promo. Did I tell you about my tickets? You did. Okay. Tickets, tickets, tickets.

Tickets, tickets, tickets. Yeah, exactly. By the way, that's just another example of like us never letting go of anything. Do you know what that's from? What do you mean? It's not from anything. It's that thing in Times Square. What thing in Times Square? By the way, tickets, tickets, tickets is that thing in Times Square. It's like a red booth that you can go up to and like get last minute really cheap Broadway tickets. And it's T-K-T-S period, T-K-T-S period, T-K-T-S, tickets, tickets.

That's not why I say it. You want to know why I say it? Okay, but I just want to let you know it is why you say it because whoever told it to you told it from the Times Square thing. Maybe 10 years ago, Margo posted on her Snapchat. She was in Times Square. Wow, you really fucking forget nothing. She took a selfie and she put on like the sticker of like Times Square and then she captioned it, tickets, tickets, tickets. She did? Yeah.

She'd like to find it. I think I have it because I thought it was so funny. And then I started saying tickets. Well, but she was obviously in Times Square. Yeah. So maybe she did it first because of the booth. Do you not know about the booth? No, I guess not. It's like this little hut in Times Square. Let me just text Margo quickly and say, do you have a screenshot of tickets? Tickets. Tickets. Tickets.

That is so funny. I need to like now start...

When I say something and I know it's like something from an old inside joke, like I'm going to start sharing the stories because everyone really likes it. And like it seriously cracks me up. It cracks me up too. It's also like a window into your mind. Like when you were like, do you know what Tickets, Tickets, Tickets is from? Yeah, it's like a New York institution. It's just like a word three times. But it's actually like a deep family lore for you. Yeah. No, I thought it was like peak comedy from Margot. Got it. I mean, it was in her own way. It was. Yeah.

Okay, next story. This story also cracked me up. Okay. Luke Combs says he wanted to crawl into a hole after Tracy Chapman pointed out his Fast Car cover mistake. Oh my. So during the middle of a recent concert, he recalls a particular mistake that still follows him. In a TikTok from the concert, he can be heard telling the crowd that one conversation with Tracy Chapman led him to realize he incorrectly sang the lyric on the record, on the recorded version of Fast Car. He said, um...

still gotta make a decision instead of we gotta make a decision. - Okay, that's not a big deal. - He did the wrong word. So that was the first time that I knew I recorded the song incorrectly. It was her telling me that 'cause I remember when she said that I wanted to crawl into a hole. He said, luckily she was awesome about it. And I think about it every single time that I sing the song and I will think about it every single time I sing it. - Is he saying the right word or the wrong word? - Well, so last night he sang the word,

- He tried to sing the right word, but he said every single time he performs the song, he thinks about the fact that he recorded one word wrong. - And every time he sings a song, you think about the fact that he uses she/her pronouns in the song. - Right, which also cracks me up, but also this story is even funnier because he didn't change those pronouns because he didn't wanna change a hair on the head

of the song. It turns out he actually changed a word in the recording. So he should have just done checkout boy. It's not the one that he should have. If you listen to the song, the original song is written by a woman. So he just sang it exactly as it sounds. And he's refers to himself like in every chorus as working in the market as a checkout girl. And Jackie thought it was so funny. Like it just cracks me up every time I hear it. And it speaks to Luke's integrity. This is like a very famous song that needs to be protected. He didn't want to change anything about it. Meanwhile, he's fucking it up over there.

And it just makes me laugh to think about every single time. He performs this song every night all over the world and he'll always think about that. And that is just fucking real. That is real. At least it's not like super detrimental. Still got to make a decision. We got to make a decision is really the same message. Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it's just like even Luke Combs has worries. Yeah, but when you think about how many people like work on a song and like it's just really crazy. Yeah.

That it got published incorrectly. When they knew they weren't changing anything. Right. I feel like that does not happen a lot. Right. Leave tonight or let it die this way. Still gotta make a decision. That's literally you and your Tesla. That is me and my Tesla. And we have been having a fantastic time. I'm really like at a crossroads with my Tesla. Her lease is almost up. My lease is almost up. And I just like, I have no problems with my, I love my car. Like,

I know I'm supposed to get a new one. I wish I bought this one. Then I wouldn't have to like have change. There's no sense in looking back. And then there's like this person on my shoulder, like that's just whispering like, get a Cybertruck. And who's that person? Me. Yeah. And like, I seriously, like I really might. Bitch, I might. Listen, test her. Test her? Yeah.

- Try her, she'll do it. - 'Cause I was like, I already tested. - Yeah, and I used the wrong word, sorry. Can we actually just move on? Like I fucked up the whole joke. - Anyways, like I haven't made a decision on my car. And now that I got my dent out. - You still gotta make a decision. - Now that I got my dent out and I took off that sticker that was on there for two years. - It's over. - Like it's a brand new car. Why do I need a new car? - No, every time, and it's only happened three times. Every time I get a car wash, like a real car wash where they vacuum the inside,

Oh my God. Like you should see me. Well, I'm in the passenger seat, like cruising down. I'm like, who should we pick up? Anybody need a ride? There is something so special. And actually sometimes on TikTok fall into like ASMR videos of car detailers who do like really, really detailed cleanings and yeah.

just like you watch it, there is something so special about like a true car wash. Not just like, you know, suds on the outside. I don't even care about the outside, the inside. Like the vacuum of the floor and like the screen being like Windexed. It's so special. Interesting.

- Interesting, I have something crazy to say. - You've never gotten a car wash? - I've never gotten a car wash. I know Olivia took my car to get washed once 'cause she was driving it a lot and she just like wanted to like do something special for me. But I've not like experienced a car wash.

I don't know if that's like weird. - That's insane, like when you use that car to drive around your kids and I feel like back seats, like there's always like Cheerios all over the floor. - I don't give them Cheerios in the car. Sometimes like if they- - Sounds like a choking hazard. - It is a choking hazard, but sometimes they might be having something that's got a little crumb, but I clean it out. Like I clean my car. It would be, I'm sure if I got a car wash, like there's stuff in there, but like, I don't know. It doesn't seem like it's reached that level of critical necessity.

But like you make it sound desirable. I've got a big screen. I've got fingerprints. You should, by the way, fuck shit up. Adult, it's your birthday. Get a car wash. But not like a drive-thru one. No, no. And so what do you do when your car is being washed? You sit in the lobby?

Oh that's a good question. Ben is usually the one who does it. In the city like you just walk and like go get a snack. Right. I think also in the suburbs like people come to you. There are mobile services. Actually I do have someone's information. Okay maybe I'll do that. But like I don't want to fall even love even more in love with my car when I have to give it back. Okay just think about it. Our next story a little more country music news. What number? Three. Oh great. The

The CMA Awards are announcing some performers that are sure to get everyone excited. Well, that remains to be seen. Post Malone. I'm excited. Shaboosie. Shaboosie. I'm excited. Shaboosie. Teddy Swims. You know what? We don't talk about Teddy Swims. We don't talk about Teddy Swims. I lose control. What was Teddy Swims doing recently where I saw him?

You were with Teddy Swims? No, like on TV.

He's always doing stuff. And I think as a person, I think a lot of celebrities really like him because he's always getting invited places, collabing with people. Oh, he did a Kelly Clarkson, Kelly Oki duet. Maybe that's what you saw? No, I was watching one of the award shows and every 30 minutes they'd cut to Teddy Swims performing somewhere. He's really talented. And if you need someone for a collab who can just carry their own weight and sing, he is getting tapped a lot. And that song is really good. When you're not next to me. Yeah.

And he doesn't sound like anybody out there right now. Like he's a very unique sound. So it sounds like you're excited about him performing. Although would you consider him country? No. So they are intentionally like crossing over due to all the crossover success of the year. Like Post Malone is performing with Chris Stapleton, their song California Sober. Other big names that will be performing, of course, Post Malone.

Lainey Wilson. Because where is she not performing? Including the Victoria's Secret fashion show. I, lol, she wasn't there. I listened to Lainey Wilson actually this morning getting ready. That song, hang tight, hot

♪ Running down a dream of a long lost highway ♪ Like that shit's so good. And not me like always like speaking on Lainey Wilson's name, not in like a positive, always in a positive way, but not in like a- - A glowingly positive. - Let me tell you that bitch can sing, that bitch can write a song. Like she's so good. Like try, listen to "Long Lost Highway" and try not like going to the gym. Like it's just like a very pump up song.

I really spend some time trying to get into Lainey Wilson because there's like really no reason for me not to be into her. Kind of like not to compare the two, but kind of it was reminding me of Zach Bryan, like something that's just like passing me by. I know I would like it. I just like- - Huge phenomenon. - I'm not in it.

I don't know why Spotify is not like trying to get me in. And let me tell you something. Lainey Wilson, she gets accused a lot of being an industry plant. And I definitely think she has, you know, planty vibes within the country community. She's got roots. She's got roots. But in like the real world, I don't feel like her music ever gets pushed on me like on the radio or on Spotify. Like she really has this very grassroots following and she's super, super talented. And her music is very good. Listen to Hang Tight, Honey. You will love it. Okay.

- But on my to-do list. - No, and the song, it's like the Taylor Swift thing. The song that you know that you've heard is her worst song. ♪ Watermelon moon, Jan ♪ It's just everywhere. And it's like enough. If you knew her other songs, they're not the same. - I'm cracking up. I don't even know that song that sounds like-- - You know this one. ♪ I've got a heart like a truck ♪

Yeah. And it's like not even a good song. Meanwhile, it's her biggest, baddest song. It's everywhere all at once. And like that's what people think of when they think of Laini Wilson. That's why when she wins like Entertainer of the Year, you're like, excuse me? Exqueeze me, Watermelon Moonshine. And then that other song, Grease. You need to listen to Grease and Hang Tight, Honey. Okay.

Okay, if I can stop listening to Patterns by Kelson Ballerini. I was listening to Patterns and then this morning I went back to Sabrina Carpenter's Short and Sweet because I listened to it like too much for like two weeks and then I was like, I kind of hate this album. Then I took a break and now I came back and it's so good. It's so good. It comes up like one every three songs. I'm always listening to some like playlist for me on Spotify and they just, you know, every time I'm ready to change the playlist, it's like, who knows, I might let you make me.

Juno. I just, I love my Sabrina. I can't tell you guys that enough. We know. And thank you. We can't hear it enough. It's just, it's so rare for me. What happened with Sabrina never happens to a girl like me. It's so true. Like you're kind of having with Sabrina what like a lot of the world had with Chapel.

No, where it's like, so many of the artists that I love, not like the huge ones, but like people that I really just invest in, like they do fine, but like to have this global takeover of like someone that I've always been really proud of, it never happens for me. It's so true. Like you very much operate in like the Gavin DeGraw type of... Instead, Little Mix splits up. Correct. And they never fully conquered the U.S. And by the way, if you are a pop star...

aspiring pop star or a current pop star and you want long-term success like just make sure Jackie doesn't like your music like that's why I know Chapel Road is going to be huge because like Jackie is not participating but if Jackie like rides or dies for you with the exception of Sabrina Carpenter like it's pretty much like a curse to your career yes except I just want to say Sabrina broke the spell yes do you think she's the exception or that like the spell has been broken

We'll have to wait and see. It remains to be seen. It's too soon to call. Yeah. Much like Arizona. It's too early to call. It's too soon. Anyways, other performers that are not crossover, Tarek Spently, Thomas Rhett, Ashley McBride, Luke Bryan. See you at the CMAs on November 20th. Thank you for announcing this today. I don't know what else to tell you. That's pretty soon, November 20th. Yeah, that'll be fun.

I love having somebody to watch. I'm in my cable era. Have I told you that? I've been watching Jeopardy every single night. Now when I open my TV, my go-to app, it's not a Netflix, it's not a Max, it's my YouTube TV. I'm just like, what are people watching with commercials? And you know what? As somebody who needs to be stimulated on my phone whilst watching- - You actually need a commercial break. - I need a commercial break so I can scroll TikTok. Actually,

I think that Gen Z is sleeping on the traditional cable model. It's so funny. What's old is new again. It has built in breaks. What's old is new again. That's really funny. And I've been like watching The Voice. And every time there's like a made for TV like special. And with the holidays coming up, you know, there's going to be so many. Like this is my time. Yeah. That's really, really funny. Yeah. I'm telling you, if you too are like somebody who cannot watch something without ending up on your phone and like missing the entire program, check out cable. Highly recommend this new thing called cable.

Live TV. It's huge. Are you ready for our next story, our fourth? If it's the fourth that's brought to you by Roback. It is.

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Roback also just released their new Clarity jogger and half-zip hoodie sets, and we are obsessed. It's made from a really nice cotton polyester blend, so it's both breathable and soft. The half-zip hoodie is cropped, and the joggers have a very cute mid-rise fit. Really become a go-to layering piece for before and after workouts or just, you know, being on the move. And Roback's OG Swift Crew Necks Tempo Hoodie jogger sets are the best, softest pieces of clothing that we own. Whenever we just want to be comfortable, we wear these because they're not...

They're not like restricting. They're just super comfortable. And I feel like sets like crew neck sets, jogger sets have become a apparel category of their own these days. And like Roback is really doing it very well. And I think a lot of people don't know about Roback men's.

It's hard for a man to like wear comfy cozies without looking like a slob, but it's like, ew, get a job, right? Roback is the best place to shop for your man if he wants to be cozy, if he like goes out, you know, on jogs or, excuse me, like running errands and you don't want him to like look like a slob on the weekends. Check out their men's pieces. They're really fabulous. And if you haven't already, try Roback. Use our code TOAST for a generous 20% off your order. That's R-H-O-B-A-C-K.com. 20% off all hoodies, joggers, fleeces, and more with code TOAST. Today, we're going to talk about

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Thank you, Jacqueline Follet. I think you mean thanks the Jacks 20. No, that's not what I meant, actually. I think that's what you meant. No, I don't think so. Our next story is a little more major music news. M, M, N.

Dave Portnoy is revealing a major twist in the rap battle against Zach Bryan. So Dave Portnoy's war of words with Zach Bryan is just getting started. Dave said there was more to come after his diss track about Bryan was taken down due to copyright issues on Wednesday. So here's where it gets. I had a feeling when I saw it at the very end, when they're singing How Lucky Are We, like that was a direct infringement.

So the reason why it's taken down, they're saying not to protect Warner Brothers artist Zach Bryan, but because Josh Richards is signed with Warner Brothers. And he's put out this piece of music, but they essentially own him and they've taken it down due to that. Now it's also just coincidental that Zach Bryan is signed with Warner Brothers. Okay, Warner Brothers? Sorry, Warner Music. I'm sorry. Okay.

Josh Richards has a record deal? Josh Richards is signed with the label and Dave said they essentially own him. So that is the reason why it's down officially. The thing is, you can be down officially from like the official YouTube, but the video's everywhere. Like I saw it on Twitter, on TikTok. So it exists and beyond...

I thought my, I didn't even watch Dave's whole video. I just knew that they had actually infringed on copyright in the how lucky are we part. So I thought for sure that that was a legitimate takedown. - So this is what Dave said. Fine, you think that's just it? You think we were gonna put, just put smallest man away? I will write 10,000 diss tracks.

I will go die in the booth. I will put the headsets on and come back spitting bars twice as hot. Maybe we do Dave's version. I hear Brie may get in the booth and do her version. We will figure this shit out. It may take 24 hours, but the more Warner Music Group acts like little fucking pussies and Zach Bryan little fucking...

The more they worry about this shit, the worse it's going to get. You're in the mud. You got mad. I'm going to have to get in the booth. I thought it was going to be one and done. I don't care. I'll keep spitting. So now he's raging. Yeah. No, now he's like officially activated, which is almost worse. Like seriously, if you ever, if I ever find myself like on Dave Portnoy's like list of people he hates, like actually I'm leaving the country. Like I don't want that. I don't want the smoke. I can't handle it. Please just know, like, I don't want it. Um,

Now, Warner Music, like this reason, Josh Richards, like, sure, sure. I imagine Zach Bryan had something to do with it. Like they really, I could see him like not caring to a certain extent, but like the things that were said were pretty major allegations, especially about the STDs. That's sort of a rumor that sticks for life. So,

Imagine he had something to do with this as well. Yeah. And I'm so sad for this podcast. Brianna posted on Instagram yesterday, like, just recorded, like, my first episode. Like, don't think I've ever been so vulnerable on a podcast in my life. Like, I'm actually shaking. It'll be out tomorrow. And I'm sure she's referring to BFFs. Yeah, like, the way I'm sad with popcorn, I'm going to watch it live.

- I think I will too, full recap tomorrow. But now I feel like this is becoming an even bigger thing. Even though I felt yesterday, like that music video was like a big thing. Like, I don't know why. - It was huge. - To me it was a huge deal. Like they left no crumbs, you know, as the kids say. - As the kids would say, they ate. - And now that they've taken it down, I'm sure they worked really hard on that. So that really angers Dave. - It was a kind of a big budget production. - It was. And now they've made Dave like really angry. So I think there's gonna be more. I mean, he said Brie might get in the booth. - I would love that.

- Ms. Chicken Fry on the ones and twos. - Ms. Fry herself. Oh, also, I discovered why they call her Brianna Chicken Fry. And like, it does make me hate her. Like when she was in high school or whatever, she got made fun of for like having legs that were so skinny. They looked like chicken fries. Like, okay, then like they called me drumstick. Like, I can't like.

yeah that's so sad and you know she took her power back by making it her famous person name Brianna Chicken Fry we love that but like okay so me and this person have nothing in common yeah yeah it's hard to relate but it's hard to relate and uh that was definitely like you know hard to hear that it's like a nickname for being too skinny yeah classic actually not not classic for me at all

- I know, I did see that too and I'm moving past it. - 'Cause we just chose to ignore it. - Yeah, but I do like calling her Brianna Chicken Fry so I'm grateful for that. - What else would you call her? - Brianna La Pog, Leah.

That's not her name. Like. Brianna Chicken Fry La Paglia. Imagine how her family feels. They came to this country with their name. So true. La Paglia Erasure. I know. They're the chicken fry family. It's so true. I mean, I guess that maybe is how my family feels. Like I did away with Asheray and I'm the Lou family now. Oh my God. When I was picking you up from the airport. Oh.

And I wanted to make you a sign. I put this in the vlog. I almost wrote Mrs. Lou, but I just like, I didn't want to go too niche. So I wrote Turney. And I might not like, I mean, I know you, but if I just saw the sign, I wouldn't like immediately recognize like, oh, that car is for me. Turney, I would. So I just did Turney, but I pondered Mrs. Lou.

- Yeah, I mean, by the way, feel free to start calling me Mrs. Liu. I actually really like the sort of respect. Actually, I forgot to talk about something kind of major that happened to me. I was recently asked to be someone's matron of honor. - Oof.

Oh, Ben's sister? Yeah, and of course, you know, she meant it in a lovely, respectful way. And if you are married, like, you become a matron. It's not an age thing. It's a marriage thing. It's not about having old maiden shoes. No, it's not about having old maiden type of shoes. But when she said it, I looked behind me. I was like,

Is your grandma here? Like, who are you talking about? That's rough. And yeah, so I'm honored and I accepted gratefully, but she will have to change it to me. I'll just get divorced for the wedding. I'm honored and offended, but then you wouldn't be in her wedding party if you're not married to her brother. So true. You'll literally never be her maid of honor.

No matter how you slice it. - I just don't know why they had to make like a special name for like girlies who are married. It's so offensive. - But like why is the term matron so offensive? Like where, because at one point it was maiden matron. Like just two words, like where does the hurt come from? Historically. - You look kind of matronly today. There's the hurt, there's the hurt. - What about you look kind of maidenly today? Does that hurt?

Doesn't sound great. So who historically put the herd in that word? I don't know, but keep it away from me. Seriously. I'm a maid of honor. You're a maiden. Old maiden type of honor. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Yeah. It's a little how the sauce gets made casting news. Oh, I thought like actual sauce. I said, ooh, food news? No, one of our favorite things

Story types here is almost casting news. And my absolute favorite. And The Office. Ellen DeGeneres as Phoebe on Friends. Right. The casting director for The Office is talking about who almost got cast to play Michael Scott, the casting process. But she also has casted so many shows and movies that like are amazing.

critically acclaimed. So she's, I gotta, I gotta meet this woman, right? She's talking a bit about her process and the history, the herstory, if I may, because she went on first, Michael Scott, Michael Scott, because she went on office ladies. So that's where this all went down, making it major herstory. And she reveals that NBC originally wanted to go for some big names when casting Michael Scott.

Steve Carell is a big name. Steve Carell was... However, at the time... Was he unknown? No, he was on... He was meant to be on another sitcom called Come to Papa, which would mean that he couldn't audition for The Office. But then after four episodes, it was canceled, which gave him the freedom to do The Office. But in that time, the other names that were floated were Philip Seymour Hoffman. I don't see it. And Paul Giamatti. I see it, actually. Then she said...

She was so jaded that she thought neither actor would be interested in the show because at the time nobody did TV comedy was the bottom of the barrel. But they wanted the new series to pretty closely reflect the original British series. Right. Where like people actually look like actual office workers. Right. That really was like the brilliance of the show. Like how regular degular. No one was wearing makeup. Like it was just really between the wardrobe and the people. Like it was very...

Yeah. Energy. She said Nancy Perkins, who was the head of casting of NBC Universal, always knew Steve would be a top choice for this. We brought in the best of the best. Everybody was a different version of Michael Scott that could have worked. Patton Oswalt could have worked. Bob Odenkirk could have been amazing. Those were two other people. Bob Odenkirk would have been great. Mostly because he's like a very good actor. Yeah. Yeah. And then also they're talking about...

Angela's part, she said that she originally auditioned for Pam and that Katherine Hahn was also in the waiting room that day. Oh, okay, wait. She wouldn't be really good. As Pam? As any, or even if she wound up getting the... No, okay, wait. Angela wouldn't have been good as Pam. Like, not right. But...

- Catherine Han as Angela would have been great. 'Cause she has this like bad attitude the whole series. That's funny. - Yeah, really funny. She also- - Catherine Han is extremely underrated actually. I feel like she's grossly undercast in things. - I agree.

She's extremely talented. Yeah, she is. And I just feel like Katherine Hahn is like just always so close. Like she even was supposed to be Joan and then it was canceled. She was almost Angela and then she wasn't. Yeah, she's like 50 feet from stardom. Yeah. Imagine how she feels. I know. It's kind of not similar to, but reminds me of Judy Greer. Yeah, but like Judy Greer is a character actress. But she didn't intend to be. Like she was out here trying to be a star. Some people like...

pursue acting like for the sole purpose of like not being a star but like getting work paying your bills and like not being famous but just like acting because that's your chosen career correct and so that I don't think was Judy Greer's intention but she really is like

She wrote a book and she titled it something really funny. Like, I don't know where you know me from. Because I guess people come up to her like, where do I know you from? Yeah. I know her from 13 Going on 30. Me as well. So this casting director, her skills are legendary amongst comedy fans. She's helped put together the ensembles for shows like Freaks and Geeks, Arrested Development, Parks and Recs.

Perfectly cast show. Oh, wow. Brooklyn Nine-Nine and The Good Place, as well as movies like Bridesmaids, Lady Bird and Barbie. She also said that one of her secrets to casting success is that she remembers the people who didn't book the job and then calls them back in. So she noted that Kristen, Skoll, Zach Woods and Aubrey Plaza were all brought in for The Office. Woods ultimately joined the series late in its run, while Skoll and Plaza were cast in other shows she worked on, Parks and Rec. Right.

Right. So I guess like getting an audition with this queen is like kind of a. Yeah. And maybe you're not. You don't know when it's going to happen. You're not right for that. But like, if you're good, she'll remember you. So that's a pretty interesting. For sure.

Freaks and Geeks was a perfectly cast show. And then, oh, you said Veep also. Veep is, and especially for like those roles, we know them now, the actors, but the people who like played her administration and her cabinet, like people I had never heard of these no names, like they were so perfect. This show, by the way, it might be time to rewatch Veep. Like I rewatched it twice. Seriously? Yeah.

is the best show on TV. And every time I watch it, like I'm reminded that it's up there. When we were talking the other day about like Desperate Housewives versus, Veep is up there. Yeah, did you see Sophia Franklin dressed as Selina Meyer for Halloween? I did see that. Like, it's so funny. It's a deep cut. No, and...

One of my favorite things about Veep, and I remember saying this when I rewatched it a couple of years ago, is like, it's a political show, right? It's like all about Hollywood, DC and like DC culture. And they really never explicitly become like overly political. So like really everyone can enjoy it. It's so good. Yeah, it is. If you're looking to break into the business, there's some tips. Yeah, and I am looking to break into the business. And you'll always be looking to break into the business. Hold on, can we do a...

Can we do a game really quickly? You want to audition for something? Yeah, but we need like a script. Oh, okay. Yeah, send me my lines. Practice scripts for acting. No, I just Googled. Okay. I just Googled audition script and I used the first one. Text it or... Oh, God. They make this so hard. Like... Okay, what's like a famous scene that we can reenact from like the Titanic? The Titanic scene. Are those the sorts of roles you want? Drama? Dramatic. Yeah, for sure. Okay. Okay.

Who would you have wanted to be in that? Rose? I could see you as Rose. Who's Carpathia Stewart in Titanic? I don't know. I don't recognize this page. Carpathia. Hmm. What is she saying? Okay. I got it. What's Carpathia saying? I don't know. I found a new page.

okay this is like a really tense scene between jack and rose okay so you would want to be rose if you were auditioning well i just want to see who has more lines because i'd want to be i want it i know i want to be jack because he has more lines in this one thing i sent to you okay and i actually don't have a lot of like acting experience like i actually don't know if i'm a good actor okay okay i'm looking and tell me when i'm reading for action i mean no you're ready for rose jack has all the lines you want to be jack

I don't give a fuck. I just want the lines. What is this? An all-girls camp summer play? Yes. Go. Ready? Say action. Action. Rose, listen to me. Listen, Rose. We literally don't have a line. Okay. Winning that ticket was low-key the best thing that ever happened to me, girl. Girl, you don't even know what that ticket did for me.

You're just having trouble breathing, it says. Yeah, okay. Actually, I want to start over. I don't like the angle I took. I didn't like it either. It was giving the ossification of history. I'm sorry. I'm just like really struggling to be serious right now. It's like embarrassing to be serious. No, it's embarrassing to act. Okay. But be serious. Don't look at me, okay? Rose is futzing with her hair. Yeah, I'm not looking at you. Rose is futzing with her hair.

Rose, listen to me. Listen! Winning that ticket was the best thing that ever happened to me. It brought me to you. And I'm thankful, Rose. I'm thankful. Oh, so am I. Sorry. My voice is trembling. You must do me this honor. Promise me that you will survive. That you will never give up. No matter what happens. No matter how hopeless. Promise me now and never ever.

let go of that promise I promise you could do better come on I'm not I'm dying oh right I'm just reading lines with you I promise okay never let go I promise I will never let go Jack I will never let go I mean could you be more like uninterested in Jack that's when you run lines with people like that's what you do

It's so Johnny Drama, this whole thing. That was really something. Oh, sorry. End scene. Okay, now that we're out of the scene, that was really something, Claudia. How did you think I did? I thought you were amazing. Let me tell you something, and I'm sure I've told this story once, so I'll make it quick. You guys know that one time I auditioned for a cameo in Law & Order SVU, and I didn't get it. It was like seriously the worst thing that ever happened to me. And I only had like three days notice before the audition, and so my agent was like, listen, you got to get a...

you an acting coach like if you want this like take it seriously and so for three days like I literally met with this acting coach and Tribeca like in her apartment every single day and like

I can tell you in an honest and I know like, you know, I'm always like hyping myself up. Like I do not have the talent for acting. Like it's so dumb. Like, like, oh, I'm pretending I'm Superman. I'm literally not. Do you know what I mean? And I have such a firm grasp on reality. And I feel like people who are really into acting like they are dreamers, you know, and I'm not like I know what's going on. Yeah. Yeah.

- I'm glad you said it. - And I'm so self-conscious. Like the one time I auditioned, oh, and so then when I went to the actual audition, it was like at this like casting couch type of place, like in like the Garment District. And you go into the room and there's like a camera and just one person and you're supposed to like act in front of this. - You have to be mentally deranged.

You have to be mentally deranged or like seriously give no fucks. And I'm sorry, I care a lot. And so I think an actual crazy person. Yeah. I think the person in the room was told like, like this is an influencer, like give her like a chance. Like she, she's not going to kill it. So I don't even think he was recording for the first one. Cause it was really bad. He's like, can you just do it one more time? And like, I did it better the second time.

She's from Maysville. That's not much bigger than... Pensacola. Pensacola. No, she's from Pensacola. That's not much bigger than Maysville. Maysville, yeah. It was like about this like, you know, like big back hillbilly who like killed her mom or whatever. That's a slur. Oh my God, it is. Sorry, yeah, I did read Demon Copperhead. We don't say hillbilly. Okay, she's like this big back...

Like she actually is a mole woman. And when I saw the episode, like the girl is so crazy looking because she literally like lives in like a hut with no electricity and her mom has cancer and she just like, like,

takes her mom to the bathroom three times a day. Like that's literally her full existence. And so she like coordinated a cyber attack on an influencer where she like convinced this like pro wrestler to like attack. It was like this crazy thing. And she was so frightening looking that I thought they actually didn't cast me, not because I can't act, but because I'm like far too beautiful. And not crazy enough to get into a room and like. Yeah, and act. So. Well, if you're an actor out there, hats off to you. That is. Take your meds. No, it's a crazy person thing to do.

I was so embarrassed. I was like, it's just, you really, you can't properly do it. If you like, if you have two feet firmly planted on the ground, do you know what I mean? But it's a great thing to do if you don't. And it's so hard to like, not like, and mind you, I've auditioned once. It's so hard to like, not like zoom out and watch yourself from above being like, what the hell are you doing? Like, it's like fantasy play pretend. And I just can't, like, I'm far too...

Real. I'm too real. She's real by Simon Van Kempin. Yeah. So that's my brief, brief history. Yeah. And it's not for me. I can tell you that much. Yeah. Well, I'm glad that you can see it that way. That's how Claude sees it because your audition was seriously not good. And let me tell you just now, like I was trying. Like I was, I was actually trying. That's really sad. I know. Yeah.

And that's our show, you guys. So thanks so much for listening to the Toast on Monday morning show where we deliver the fast-paced stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give us a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast and we're podcasting with Anne. So it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Video, I already kissed. Fox, all the places we listen to podcasts. Find us on social media, 5 Star Review, A Better Beautiful Setting, and Wickedly Talented. We are. And we'll see you on the next one. Tomorrow's Friday, so we're almost done. I'm just thinking about you in a room. Jackie, and I wish you could have seen the room. Like, real prison cell vibes with just like this one lonely camp. And you're like, she's from Pensacola.

And I'm like acting crazy. Oh, and by the way, I needed to have an accent, like a deep, deep Southern accent, which I could not master. I was all over the place, like Russian, Jamaican, Southern. Like I just really couldn't nail the accent. And I actually think when he asked me to do it again, he said like, forget the accent. Cause it was just like distracting. Maybe you moved from New York to the woods. Yeah. They would have changed it if I was right for the role. Right. Right. Which I wasn't. Anyways. Love ya. Bye.