Turd’s Havin’ His Baaaaby: Monday, November 18th, 2024
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Good morning millennials! Welcome back to the toast and happy Monday and boy does it feel like a Monday. We have mountains to climb. We've got mountains to move but it doesn't feel like a Monday because it's a very exciting Monday to be sat. Because we're feeling joyful. We're feeling joyful. I can't even imagine how you're feeling. I'm just gonna throw to Turdy because it's Turdy's big day. Let me tell you how I'm feeling. Literally I was in the bathtub last night like after you know my whirlwind announcement and

- Do you wanna just announce for anyone who's not on social media but only listens to The Toast? - Oh my god, there are a couple of people like that. Yes, so I shared on my social media yesterday, perhaps you guys aren't aware, but I am with child, I am pregnant, yeah that's right. ♪ I'm Evan's bitch ♪ - Yes she is. - Yesterday we finally told people, seriously you guys have no, not to make everything about me, but today is exclusively about me, so seriously don't even bother, you know?

Like Jackie, seriously. - I agree, but you just hit him with a we finally told people. - Oh my God, ew, I did. - You're a we. - I'm not a we. I feel even stronger about the lack of we now that I've been through this. - Me. - But I guess like we did tell people yesterday 'cause Ben was calling up, you know. I had like, I had a couple of people to call. Oh my God, Ben was like, all right, I gotta call. How many friends do you have? - And it was a collab post, so it was a we. - It was a we. We finally told people, you guys, seriously, nobody knows how hard this has been for me.

- I think those who know you, and that's literally everyone who listens to the show knows you inside and out, knows that this was probably so hard for you on so many levels. - It's the hardest secret I've ever had to keep. And seriously, when you and Olivia had both gotten pregnant, there's something special about the first time. Every time is special, of course, but the first time really hits different. And you had told me, I remember struggling so much. I actually got drunk and told a couple of people. I didn't even keep the secret well. I just told people that I could trust.

Now with my own secret, I can't get drunk. So I really like was not telling people, oh my God, I don't think I actually knew how much of a burden it was on me until I let it go last night. Like I was in the tub after and Ben, when I got out, Ben was like, you were singing so loud in the tub. I'm like, I haven't been singing. Like obviously on the toast I have because I had to pretend. And oh, remember when I said I could never be an actor? Lies, I'm an amazing actress. I could totally do it.

I don't think I realized what weight this was carrying on me. Not only like one, I'm a joyous person. I like to chat and share positive news. Like that. - Right. - Also, you know, I don't like keep information to myself that well. It's not one of my skills. And three, I talk for a living. Like, and there's so much going on in your life when this like new thing happens and to just sit here and like, that's why we've been talking about food so much. Like what the hell else is there to talk about? Oh my God, if I didn't tell you guys one second sooner than I already did, like I was seriously going to explode.

No, that's the hardest part. The first trimester is so isolating, whether or not you do a podcast, because you're like going through all this stuff and you can't talk about it. And so I feel like

that's the reason you want to share most publicly soonest is like to talk about what's going on with you. Not only that, the isolating part is so real. And I don't, I know, and in Judaism, we're very superstitious. So like, so then if you're like, you know, following all the rules of Judaism, you're like nine months pregnant, pretending like you're not. And everybody around you just acts like, oh, how you feel? Like no one's really, I couldn't do that. And I like obviously immediately told like my immediate family and Ben's immediate family. And like, obviously having you guys has been such a,

such an outlet for me. I can't, but I also just had to tell my friend Margo Fish like pretty early. And I trust her implicitly, so like it wasn't about that. I just like needed someone to talk to in such a real way. And I'm so glad that I did. Like I didn't need to tell a million people, but like I needed an outlet. I needed a friend. And that's like the person I talk to the most outside of my family. So like I felt really good about that. And

I'll get into the details, you know. Nausea, phagia. Yes, I've been diagnosed with IBS, TMJ. Literally everything that could befall you has befallen your girl. Injunction with your coccidinia. And let me tell you, my coccidinia has never been fucking worse. And I...

and I'm sitting even more and you know, a way to counteract coccidinia like is to be more active. And I, I seriously walking, walking to lunch, like is my activity of the day every day. And there was like a period in time. I would love to go look at my steps. Um,

I lived pretty close to our studio for like two months straight. Ben drove me every single day. Like the idea of just putting one foot in front of the other was unfathomable. And like we sat in so much traffic to go four blocks. Like I didn't fucking care. Like I could not move. And I need to talk about Ben, obviously.

an integral part of this journey. And it's so funny, when we started like telling a lot of our friends, so many of the girls were like, "Oh my God, isn't it amazing what your body can do and like how much like our husbands are so useless." And they totally are. Like honestly, every time Ben complains, like literally last night we ate a lot of Chinese food, he's like, "I'm so nauseous." And I was like, "You're what?" Having said that,

As much as a husband can do, Ben has done. Like he has been, and I have not been easy. I don't think that's going to come as a surprise to anyone. I'm usually like very congruous with the woman that we know. I'm usually very bossy from the bed. You know, get me this, get me that, get me this, get me that. Times 45. Like seriously, I am an animal. And the mood swings, like the hormones, the rage you feel like at the smallest, like rage. Yeah.

Oh my god. And Ben has not once held it against me. He just like sort of moves on. And I'm so appreciative. And then like every couple of days I'm like, oh my god, I'm really sorry. And then like the cycle starts over again. I say to Ben like, I would stop if I could. I literally can't. Like please leave me alone. He has been so wonderful. And shout out to him. Although you know, if he complains like one more fucking time. And just seeing, there have been so many things that I wasn't expecting, right? Like, oh my god. I'm like, I can't even finish a thought. I have so many things to say.

No, and we're going to like thoroughly break this down like on the Patreon. Turdy is sat, but that is for later this week. So now just give us the thoughts that you're thinking. When I went on this journey and when I would picture my life pregnant, there were a couple of things I was like, oh, that'll be hard. Obviously one of them was like not drinking. I'm very social. I love to drink. Let me tell you, that's been the easiest part. Like I don't miss drinking at all. Like hate, hate, hate. I was actually really worried. That was definitely something that like I think pushed off my decision to like

I love to go out and socialize. I love to have a cocktail. It's such a part of my life that I couldn't even imagine my life without that. And seriously, you guys, if you're worried about it, you will not miss it. Seriously, it makes me sick to even think about it. And I knew I'd have to cut back on certain things, but there's two things specifically that I am living without that I am really deeply struggling with. And on one of them, I am cheating.

Okay. The first is Advil. In general, like over-the-counter medication, I'm very much like, I'm a big customer of Big Pharma. Like I take, I buy everything whenever I have the smallest ailment. It's an Advil, it's an Aleve, it's an Excedrin. I've got them all. Love all of them. Have been living without. And like all my little ailments, they're really starting to take me down. Like I'm not okay. Okay.

Yeah, that is really hard not being able to take medication. You can take Tylenol, but why would you waste your time or your money? Have you taken anything? I had to take Advil after my cerclage when I was in so much pain and Dr. Fox told me I could take Advil and so I did. And was it amazing? Yeah.

It was so necessary. I know some bitches in- And in hindsight, that I was only taking Advil after a surgery that leaves you in as much pain as childbirth where you get the horse pills. It made a dent. But anyways, I'll just say it was fine. I know that there are some bitches who Postmates-

like Jimmy John's to the delivery room, I will be postmating Advil. Actually, I don't even need to postmate it. - Claudia, they give you the high prescription Advil after childbirth. - And that's what we deserve. That's what we deserve. I love Advil so much. I can't believe it. - Like the 600 milligram tablet. - And I'm really aware of how much Ben takes it 'cause he goes into the bathroom and I hear the bottle rattle. He's always got something, a headache, sinuses. And that has been something I didn't foresee, like really challenging.

Now, the other challenge, I would say my greatest challenge that I have not been able to really stay away from, but I tried really hard is soda. Mm-hmm.

Obviously, I love soda. Everybody knows that about me. And I always thought like, you know, if I had to live without soda, I could, but like, I don't want to. I actually cannot live without it. First of all, it has all of the things that I as a pregnant person need, like bubbles for the nausea, the burping, the taste is so good, and the caffeine. One thing I'm having a major aversion to, which has been really challenging, is coffee. Like,

You said the day I got pregnant that I have to throw my coffee made away because it's like cancer in a bottle. It's not even sold in other countries. Like it's biohazardous. And if you guys are curious, I am on the Jackie O wellness plan. So I listened to what Jackie says. And then Margo introduced me to Chobani. And so like right before I got pregnant, I was like, okay, this Chobani is a fine substitute. The Chobani, like there are a couple of things that I cannot fuck with post-pregnancy, post whatever you want to call it, conception. Chobani.

Gilmore girls. Like, some things just make me, have you been making that noise yet? Of course, every time I take out the trash, and by the way, taking out the trash is no longer my job. Like, it's, was it your job before? Yeah, I'm literally, I'm the housemaid. I do everything. But Ben has completely taken on garbage. I, and once the garbage gets even remotely full, take it out. I can smell it from my bedroom. Get it out! Yeah. Yeah.

But certain things, and I don't know what it is. My hand soap, oh my God, I'm so mad. Like right before I got pregnant, I wanted to like really fancify my apartment. And I got all new hand soap and matching cream from The Way, you know, the hair company. I went somewhere that had The Way cream. I was like, I mean, The Way soap. I'm like, oh my, this is amazing. Got it from my home. If Ben washes his hands in the other room, I could smell it. I say, get back in the shower. I say, get in the shower, use Dawn.

Certain things have like seriously crippled me and the Chobati creamer is one of them. I actually, I'm having a little bit right now because like I need, I haven't had coffee in months, like a full proper coffee. I can't remember the last time I finished coffee.

- No, trying to find the right hand soap is a journey. And then you will like, you just need unscented. That's why now we use like those Dove hand soaps in my house. That was a result of like pregnancy, trying to find a hand soap that didn't make me want to vomit. We went to Blackberry Farm, everything smelled so good. I was like, I want everything from here. It didn't smell as good in my house. - You know, I travel now around my house with my body wash. 'Cause I actually like the smell of my body wash and that's what I wash my hands with. And if Ben needs soap, I say, go get the body wash. Like we are just working with what we have.

Yeah. It's so crazy. The little thing. Oh my God. And you forget, I would have forgotten all these things. No. And let, lest you not remind me. Let me tell you, I feel like I've had a very, and I'll get into this more deeply. Cause I think a lot of people were like really surprised that I was pregnant. Um, cause I've had like a pretty complicated relationship with like when I felt like I was going to be ready. Um,

- Right. - And I've never really been afraid of being a mom. I just know, seriously, I'm gonna crush it. These kids love me. Oh my God, could it be more entertaining? But the concept of pregnancy, I've always found really intimidating, really daunting, and really unappealing. Everything I've heard and I've seen, I'm like, you know what, no, I'm good.

And now that I'm on the other side of it, I can tell you it is that bad. Like, it really, really is. And everybody tries to prepare you, and there's really no – and if I meet one more bitch, how are you feeling? Totally fine. Totally fine. I've been feeling great.

Oh, no, I'm really not nauseous at all. Like, oh. You mean pregnant people who say that? Yes, I can't. And you know what? There were a couple of people in my life who knew how I felt. And they were like, listen, by the way, it really wasn't that bad. Like, I felt totally fine. And I was like, you know what? Maybe I'll be one of those girls. Maybe I'll be one of those girls. And I found out I was pregnant so early. Like, how? What, three weeks? Eight days before my missed period. I just took a test because I was going to have a drink. Like, I wasn't even expecting...

So I have known for so long. Where was I going with this thought? Oh, and the first couple of weeks, I felt nothing because I wasn't even supposed to know I was pregnant yet. And I was like, you know what? I'm one of those girls. I was working out. Me and Hillary doing the soda. And I was like really eating well and feeling good. And I was like, oh my God, I...

Like it skipped me. Like I'm crushing. And I was really ready to like lean in, you know, really be like Courtney. You're going to be one of them who like does yoga throughout your pregnancy. And who loves being pregnant. Like I'm going to be Courtney Kardashian. Cut to like seriously three weeks later, I'm Kim pregnant with North. Like I'm not okay. I'm huge. I'm sick. Like I'm feeling every little thing. Like there's two types of pregnancies, Courtney and Kim. And I'm having a Kim pregnancy. And because I found out so early. You were never, even if you were having like a,

an actual Courtney pregnancy, like you would respond to it as a kid. - No Jackie, let me tell you, I really tried. Like I really, really tried and I remember like,

I must have been four weeks pregnant and I'm like walking to the elevator with Ben and I was like, this is so special. Like this is probably the only time, like so many times you're pregnant and then you have to like raise your other kids, right? I can't fucking imagine. Oh my God. Yeah. Like sounds horrible. So this is like one of the only times in my life that we'll be able to just like really enjoy it and I'm feeling good. Jackie, I tried. I tried to be positive. I tried to lean in to my feminine side. No, thank you. Okay. Okay.

Well, the good news is as you are now in your second trimester, like things will start to look up. Yeah, I can't even. And they will get better before they get worse. I can't even really complain about how I feel. Like right now I'm so tired. I slept from nine to seven. Like all I do is go to sleep. But compared to like how I felt like during the Jewish holidays was like some of the worst.

worst timing for me. I can't even complain, but I am looking forward. I'm feeling a lot more like myself and I do think telling people, I don't think I realized how much it was stressing me out. It was just kind of consuming like everything I said on the podcast. Could it be taken misconstrued? Yeah. I was about to post something the other day and I was like, I feel like that might be like a virtue signal to pregnancy. And then you told me it was because I've been eating so much cereal. So I was like, I'm going to

I was going to post a story, like, kind of obsessed with cereal. In my cereal era. Yeah, and the box of honeycomb said post on it. And I wanted to be like, Marjorie Post. And then I was like, hmm, is this a sign? No, that is a pregnancy craving. So I just don't think I realized, like, how much of a toll it was really taking on me. And I really wanted to surprise people and, like, you know, ward off evil eye. Like, we have so many, like, disgusting cunt haters. Like, I just, I don't think I realized how much it really hurt.

was weighing on me and how much better I feel already just like having been able to tell people and of course like the attention the likes the engagement it does not hurt I didn't know that many people could suppress I didn't know that many people could see my post where have you guys been all my life so good to know that your phones do work and that I do come up for you but you've just been largely ignoring me that's totally fine it's totally fine um how's it going on TikTok for you because I know that Instagram like is very like mama friendly and like like mama content really

out there to the masses. Yeah. I don't think that I am like big in the mom community on TikTok yet. So I'm just, I think I'm sort of migrating over there. I've only posted one thing. It did perform pretty well, but I got to get in with those girls, you know? You got to get in the algo. Yeah, in the algo, if you will. Oh, and I have something I want to say now.

and I'll just sort of, I'll wait for everyone who yelled at us for leaving the Errors Tour early. I'll wait for you guys to apologize. And also I need to give like major shout out and credit to my sister Jackie who took

- The entire fall for it, when it was me, I was so sick. Probably the biggest mistake I made in my first trimester was going to the Aris tour. And that day I was- - You tried not to go. - I was so sick and I tried not to go and shout out to Jackie's neighbor, Randy, because I gave her my ticket and then I took it back because we were down there with our friend, Margo, different Margo, who didn't know at the time. She was like, "You're not coming." We flew down here for it. And I was like, "I'm so sick." And she was like, "Who fucking cares? Like get up."

And I was like, oh, okay. And then Ben was like, yeah, you should go. We flew all the way down here. Everybody was giving me bad advice. Not me. I already called Randy. I already gave your ticket away so that you couldn't go back on it. And then she went back on it. And then 10 minutes later, like I took it back and I'm really sorry, Randy. That was like actually unbelievably uncool of me. And I've been meaning to tell you to like explain to her why I took the ticket back. I will. Okay. So I decided to go and I had a good time, but like halfway through, I really started to break down. Like heat, sweat, nausea, exhaustion. Like I don't even know. And I,

By the end, I was texting Ben, I was like, and we still had this huge walk to the car. I was breaking down. The next day, I slept the entire day. I felt so sick. I actually had such a pit. I was like, what am I doing? Like, this is so like much more important than a ticket. Like, I felt really silly. And then when we started getting so much hate about leaving early, I was like, oh, these bitches don't even know. And they obviously assumed it was Jackie, like hater Jackie, hating every minute of it. When it was literally me, I was like, can we leave earlier? But we couldn't, our friend Margo didn't know. So I was like trying to be normal. And it was just...

I know I went to the heiress tour for one reason. And the reason was, and I talked about this in the vlog, and we are not sharing the gender yet, but I definitely, like, have a preference when it comes to gender. And that's a boy. Based on gender? I feel like that's bad to say, but, like, it is. Like, that's what's the preference. And I don't know, the idea of having a daughter just, like, it didn't seem, I was like, I don't know, like...

I can't see it. I can't see it. And then when we went to the Errors tour, there were so many moms with their young daughters having so much fun getting dressed up. I'm like, oh.

That's what I'll do. That's me. I can see it. So I feel like for that reason alone, I'm glad I went to the heiress tour because it helped me visualize a potential possibility. But other than that, like big mistake, huge. It is no place for a woman in her first trimester. The jumping, the dancing, the, and also I'm like, for the first time, really very sensitive to like being around a lot of people. They're getting sick. Like, I don't know. I just, it was a mistake, but, but I learned a valuable lesson. So I'm glad that I went. Yeah.

Yeah. Let's go good. Yeah, I just wanted to. And we'll just wait on those apologies. Yeah, seriously, you guys. Seriously, you never know what someone's going through. And isn't that what we're always trying to tell you? Trust your faves. I know, and you really thought the worst of Jax. It was all the hate was directed towards you. And I just sort of sat there and let you take it. And you're a queen for taking it. Happy to absorb it for my girl. But that's what was really going on. Like, I was dying. Breaking down. Yeah.

Well, we are so, so happy for you. I just really... We are so excited to hear updates from you on how you're feeling and your POV on the whole thing. Because I agree with you. Your readiness has always been a topic of conversation. I feel like the way that you felt about certain people when they got pregnant, that being a mover and shaker for you. Yeah, let me think. I feel like you are that to a lot of people. That's sweet. Thank you. I'm trying to think who moved me and shaked me the most. Yeah.

Yeah, when like someone got pregnant and you're like, oh. I know like Hailey Bieber moved me quite a bit. Like who's cooler and more fabulous than her? Who else? I don't know. It was largely about that. It was about that, but I feel like a lot of it had to do with my weight. There was like a time in my life where it was just inconceivable that I would get pregnant. Like I'm five feet. I'm so huge. And I'm what? I'm going to gain another 50, 60 pounds. Like I couldn't physically bear it.

So, that's a huge part of my personal journey. Not everybody has the problems that I did, but for me, for a lot of years, it was like so not even in the realm of possibility, honestly. I couldn't even see it. Yeah. No, that makes total sense. And like, I don't even want to talk about my weight currently. Like,

I keep saying to everyone, I'm such a liar. I'm like, you know, I've made peace with it. Like whatever. Like I literally haven't. I'm so mad. So like you'll never fully make peace with it, but like you will become peaceful about it and it will just, it won't, it is what it is. Let me say one thing actually. One positive. And also when you start, when you start showing, that's also the hard thing about the first trimester. Like yes, maybe the third trimester is like even more enduring physically, but like you're showing and it's beautiful and everyone knows around you. Like even strangers know, like you're showing.

Take heed. Literally last weekend, me and Ben went for a walk. We went to a diner. And at the end of the walk, like if I don't eat, I'm really not okay. Like in HomeGoods the other day, I seriously almost threw up.

But I was so, and of course they didn't have a table. They were like five minutes. So there's a chair. I take the chair. I'm like trying, just breathing, like trying not to pass away on this chair. And this like 900 year old man comes. And I know everyone's looking at me like, get up for the man. No, man, get up for me. Like I was, if I had stood up in that time, I would have completely fainted. And I felt so guilty. That's the hard part about not showing. But the thing I wanted to say about my body, which I literally my whole life have hated, like still hate. The one positive thing I will say is,

is that I've always hated my stomach. Like it has just been the bane of my existence. Like, like looking in the mirror, hate, hate, hate. And I still look in the mirror and hate. But there is also a part of me that looks at it lovingly now. Like there's like a child in there. And like I do fun. So like I'll be like, I sometimes wake up and my hand is on my fupa. And like before it used to be on my fupa, like I would be imagining like a chainsaw cutting it off. Now it's there like very, you know, rubbing. And it's like pillowy for the baby. It's a little cushion. I hate my fupa a little bit less.

That's beautiful. Thank you. Well, we'll do like a full breakdown. So if you are a Patreon member, the vlog dropped last night that I started when I found out I was pregnant and it takes you through the first. So much, such a fun watch. Yeah, like doctor's appointments, telling sisters. Telling people. Yeah. It was actually a true labor of love. And I'll continue a lot of the journey. I probably keep most of that, um,

like more intimate stuff on the Patreon. It's just where I feel more comfortable. I know a lot of people are like annoyed about that, but it just evil eye, evil eye, evil eye, you know, like patreon.com/toast. And then this week, yeah, we will do a Q and A about like the whole journey. Any questions anybody has about like, you know, conception. Yeah, that's right. - How'd you do it? - Raw dogging it. Things of that nature. And it's just a great time to be a Patreon member. It's a great time.

It's a great time to be me, honestly. So not to be annoying, but. Well, we're really, really so happy for you. Happy that you're sharing. So excited for all the updates to come. Same, same, same. Like now that it's out, oh my God, the TikToks I could make, the TikToks I will make. I made two this morning. Like, it's just sort of, it's kind of. The creativity's flowing out of you. It's flowing out of me. Right. Yeah.

- Well, it's very beautiful. And we do have a lot to get into today while also, you know, we'll probably come back to this every five seconds because it's the biggest thing going. That's the big celeb news of the day. - Oh my God. It is the big celeb news of the day, especially because it is Monday. Jackie and I did watch Yellowstone last night. There'll be a brief recap. Like I'll talk about nothing happening. - Yeah. But still just like back with our faves and they know that, you know?

They know it's just a show that you're watching. It's a comfort show at this point. Yeah, like there's a couple of people, and they gave us so much comfort when it comes to like Beth and Rip last night. So for that, I'm grateful. But overall, it was a ma on my episode. Yeah.

- Well, I guess without further ado, 'cause that's really like all there is to catch up on. - Like seriously, I can't talk about anything other than myself. I have like weeks and weeks and weeks of just like bottled up stories, emotions. - I hope I enjoyed these last few weeks. - Yeah, seriously, good luck ever talking again. For real. And I really let you run wild these last couple of months 'cause like I had nothing to say. - I ran wild. And now I'm back in my cage. - She was insane. She didn't shut the fuck up. Like it was insane.

So without further ado-do-do-do-do about dirty loo-do-do-do-do. I feel like I haven't talked about myself enough, but like I don't have anything else left to say really. I mean, although if you, if you prod me with questions, I could, you know, wax poetic, but. No, that's what I mean. Like we're always coming back to this. Yeah. Yeah.

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So I just wanted everyone to know, like, yes, Dr. Fox is my doctor, the doctor who, like, literally saved Jackie's life. And I never had, like, an OBGYN who I was, like, in love with. And honestly, I probably haven't been, like, the best about my reproductive health. Like, I, like, have been to the OBGYN, like, five times, like, once every five years. And so he's my doctor. And it's, like, if anybody wants to know what I'm going through, it's so great to have a doctor who's, like, really, like,

well-versed in my family's medical history because Jackie's condition like actually is hereditary um and so thanks to that like Dr. Fox knows all about your cerclage every time I go in for a scan which will be double the norm amount of time because of the cerclage I always have to go transvaginal so just know like while everyone else is getting ultrasounds like I have a big rot up my vagina because of Jackie um which is just amazing which is just and let's it can

Let's talk about that transvaginal probe. I never felt anything like that in my entire fucking life. Oh my God. I never knew you could feel like you could shit, vomit, and piss all at the same time. Like, oh my God, that stick is insane. Yeah, it's an insane stick. What nerve and the way they just wheeled it around like Harry Potter. Like...

Oh my God, that stick is like, is actually what nightmares are made of. Men will never know what that's like. There's so much. Especially like, I feel like at my early appointments when like the baby was a grain of rice, like they couldn't find it, you know, like, cause it's so small. So they really are like digging around, excavating. Oh my God. Like could not breathe.

- Damn. - And so I have to do that every time, 'cause like I said, Jackie and her problems. - Well, it can be hereditary, but it could also be like circumstantial. - Yeah, of course, no. - So it's not necessarily means that you'll have the same thing, 'cause for me it could have happened, it didn't happen in my first pregnancy, so it could have been like-- - A fluke.

- And something that happened because of my first labor. - Yeah, no. - My first labor was labor intensive. - He has said like that he's had patients whose other siblings don't have it and some do, like it's no. - Yeah, it's just something to look out for. - But it is nice to like have to know, like go in with, but I didn't realize that meant that like every single one of my appointments and I have double the amount of scans like as everybody else.

I didn't know that like, you know, it made me a special. And so that's really exciting. So just know like when I go to the doctor, that's what I'm experiencing. I don't, I'm never going to have that kind of like in the movies when they, you know, put the thing on your belly. No, you'll have some of those. I don't know. He said he literally warned me. He said transnational every time with him, but you'll go other places and get it on the belly. It's just not going to be like it is in the movies.

you'll get out of the TV at some point. What was Vanessa Carlton? Yeah, okay. So like pregnancy hormones. And by the way, something so strange about me, I'm such an emotional person. Like everything makes me cry. How many times I cried on this podcast? Like a thousand times. I've not really cried like during this journey. Like, I don't know. I'm not feeling like,

I can't explain it, which is so bizarre for me. But the hormones are hitting in different and unique ways. And the other, I was dying to tell the story on the toast, but I knew it would so signal that I was pregnant a week ago. Me and Ben woke up early, or I don't know, I was laying in bed and Ben was getting dressed. And I had told the Alexa to put on some music, and they put on, I'm literally gonna cry telling the story, okay. They put on "A Thousand Years," no,

a thousand miles and i know ben loves that song and i thought he loved it like because of white chicks and he was telling me he was like i love this song i'm like i know he's like no no whenever i think about it i just like picture myself at my parents apartment growing up like putting the cd in my dad's bows and i didn't know what he was gonna say next and what he did like seriously like hit me right between like i was seriously i sobbed for like 35 minutes

He was like, "I just pictured myself." I'm picturing fat little Ben, curly hair. Ben as a kid was very sensitive. He was really encouraged to lean into his emotions. So he gets a CD, he's like, "I popped it in my dad's Bose and I just sat down and tried to teach myself how to play it on the piano." Seriously?

cried for like 20 minutes. Like just, oh my God, I'm gonna cry talking about it again. The image of Ben, like who doesn't play piano, but like trying to teach himself piano with his like CD player, like while his parents, like he probably was hiding from his parents. Like,

- It was actually too much to bear. Like I couldn't, I literally was hysterically crying. He thought I was so crazy. Oh, and he was leaving. That's why he woke up early. He was going to Dallas. They did an event in Dallas this week. So I'm like, you're leaving me with this story? Like I'm gonna slit my wrists. I'm just like so upset. - No, that's so cute. And I think it touched you even more in addition to the hormones because it's like, that could be your future child doing that. - Totally, like teaching themselves. - Like putting on Toast by Claudia Aschery, learning how to play the chords to play backup for mommy. - 1000%.

- And we need to come up with a name for the child. - For the little. - Yeah, like in the family, because I don't know what to call this thing, and I feel weird saying it. - Yeah. - I think those were all the things I wanted to say, but you know.

Other things could come up along the way. Maybe this story will remind you of something that happened this weekend because some of the big news from the weekend was the big fight. There was actually two big fights this weekend, so that's a little confusing. But there was one fight on Friday night, Jake Paul versus Mike Tyson on Netflix in Dallas. I watched the whole thing.

Netflix's first live sports event ended with a bang as the boxing match between Jake Paul and Mike Tyson went all eight rounds with Jake Paul coming out victorious via a unanimous decision. So I tried to watch the fight and literally during Serrano or maybe before that, like my Netflix cut out and it never came back. So I went to sleep. Yeah, a lot of people had that issue. And to be honest, Netflix really needs to get their act together. Like they've done a couple of live events and it's clear that that's like a, a,

they want to get into. It's worse every single time. I mean, the Love is Blind live reunion was such a fucking shit show that Chris Rock live special had so many issues. Like at this point, in the beginning, I was like, okay, you know, give him a minute. It's completely unacceptable. No, I mean, like Cable does it every day. No, and pay-per-view. And they're in the Stone Age. Pay-per-view, which is like what usually is the format for a fight. Like if you're going to like switch from this OG format, like you got to,

You got to buck up. Like, it's awful. Yeah, it's really crazy. But the fight was, like, the biggest thing. Yeah, I thought it was really interesting that, like, how people's narratives so quickly changed. Because I was watching, and it started at 8, and they didn't go on until, like, midnight. So I saw so many different interviews. I saw people on social media. And everyone was like, Mike Tyson is going to beat the shit out of Jake Paul. I can't wait. He's a beast. He's going to get his ass beat. Like, beep, beep, beep. And then the fight happened, and...

While he didn't do that, he managed to make it eight rounds, but he lost, obviously, and he lost every round, in my opinion. He was clearly the weaker. I mean, he's 58. What do you expect? And it's so funny how the narrative is now like, why does Jake Paul only beat up old guys? Because I guess Jake Paul's thing, and it's actually really smart, is...

he's gotten really far being taken seriously as a boxer because he puts together these huge productions i mean that show uh on netflix was produced by mvp most valuable producer or whatever productions that's jake paul's company so he's really involved in the whole thing i think i mean untold jake paul right he has his favorite he has this big show i was watching when i went into labor he has this big deal with netflix like he's a businessman and so

everybody says about him, yeah, but he only, and he's undefeated or he lost once to Tommy Fury. They're like, he's only about boxing. Like he boxes, former athletes, retired boxers, like people, big names that people want to tune into, but not necessarily like the best fighters. And so now everyone's like mad at Jake Paul, like this was elder abuse. Like, please, you thought it was great when you thought Mike Tyson was going to win. Right. So please, like, you can't just change your mind. You liked it at first.

Yeah. The narrative has completely changed. No, and even though Mike Tyson lost, like from what I'm seeing, like he lost with dignity, with $20 million in his pocket. Well, that's the other thing. So I'm not sure, and me and Ben talk about this every time there's a fight with Jake Paul, is like they say there's a script. And it's like this conspiracy theory. And of course, if you watch a WWE, you know that's scripted.

But with boxing, it's like, or these types of like Logan Paul type fights. We don't know. Now Logan Paul's WWE. Yes. But it's, by the way, it's very confusing. And then there was also a UFC fight. Yeah. I can't, I, we don't know like if they're really, and I could see a world in which like Jake Paul wants to be taken seriously as a fighter. And I do believe that, um,

Mike Tyson was in a lot of debt and I don't think there are many opportunities for him to make $20 million in a night anymore. So I think that maybe like him and Jake Paul had some sort of agreement, like, yeah, give me the 20 mil and you can beat me, whatever, sure.

And so I think if it was scripted and that is what had happened, like Mike Tyson comes out winning anyway, I think he needed the money. And if it wasn't that and it was a fair fight, then it was a fair fight. Like, I don't know if these types of fights are scripted. Like, why would Floyd Mayweather ever box Logan Paul? He has more money than God. Like, he doesn't even, I think that night he made like $50 million. Yeah, but still, like, why would he do that fight? This person has fought two times in his life.

Can I fight Floyd next? Like, do you know what I mean? I don't know. These fights confuse me. And, like, I'm one of the people, like, I understand the Paul brothers and how big of a deal they are. I think a lot of people clown on them, especially when you think about how they started and, like, you know, there's a lot of, they've had their own scandals. But, like, I understand the magnitude of how impressive it is of what they built. And, like, they literally each have hundreds of millions of dollars. Like, I actually respect what they've built. People hate them and clown on them. I don't.

But I don't understand. This harks back to the Forbes creator list that had them down for like $8 million or $11 million, but he just made $40 million in a night before end of year. And that's before sponsors. That's before his own production company. Like, it's absurd. That list, yeah. The Paul brothers, say what you want about them, are incredible businessmen. Wait, and then also, so there's WWE, there's Jake Paul and boxing, there's UFC, and then there's also like what? MMA.

Tyson Fury does. He's the heavyweight boxing champion. Is that this? No, heavyweight is UFC. UFC.

I don't think it is. And there was a UFC fight the next night, like a big one. Right, a huge one. On Saturday night. Ben was there. I wish I watched both of them. Well, I couldn't even watch Netflix. But to watch them both to see what the difference in fighting styles is. Oh, I watched. Because it's so different. So I'll tell you. The Jake Paul one, first of all, you wear gloves. That's huge. That's like a punch to the face is quite different. And that's like Cinderella man. Sure. Yeah.

It's, yeah, it's like Cinderella, man. It's like jab, cross. Jab, jab, cross. Upper cross. Yeah, exactly. Hook. Kickboxing, kind of. And there is a ref so that you can't get your ass beat to filth. The UFC, there is a ref, too. They're not wearing gloves. You can kick. You can jump. You can seriously do whatever the fuck you want. I've seen people jump on other people and suffocate them. It's much more violent. UFC. Yeah.

- Okay, yeah. - And then WWE is like all staged. - Show. - It's stage fighting. - It's total Bellas. - It's total Bellas, exactly.

And then like the Tommy Fury of it all, which you sent or someone sent me a TikTok that now like the ladies of Tommy Fury are coming out. Some lady said on a podcast that she like Tommy Fury in Dubai and she's like smiling. It literally gave me the heebie-jeebies. Some like actual rodent like went on this British podcast hosted by three dudes and she was just like, yeah, like they're not in Dubai. Like,

Tommy had a set with three girls and then me. Like I'm literally the reason that they all broke up.

- You forgot the smile from ear to ear. - Oh yes. - She slept with three girls and then me. - Shit eating grin on her face. And I think she thought like these three podcasts, I was like, thought she was like hot and like would think that this was cool. And they're like, really? And like, I just know that they all thought she was disgusting. Like I hate this bitch so much. Like seriously, I wish her only the worst. She's sitting there like with this just shit eating grin on her face. Like she thinks she's hot shit. And like somebody lied to her several times.

and I just actually never wanted to punch someone so much in my life. No, that's not cool that you had sex with Tommy Fury after he slept with three girls and he has a fiance and baby. We're not impressed. What part of it are you feeling prideful about? Is it the fact that you broke up a family? Is it the fact that you were his fourth choice for the night? Which part is requiring you to be smiling so hard?

I'm not sure. I watched that video and I actually felt, you know what? No word. Like, you know what? Emotion. Disgust. Yeah. Same. Same. Well, that's all the fight news for the free. That's your fight. It was like girls before me. And like, I just fucking hated her.

- Same. - The fight, I just wanna say, like I really enjoyed. Every time there's like an influencer-y fight that's like made into a big like pay-per-view thing, I always enjoy it so much.

Not like the fighting part, but a lot of like there's so many celebrities who come and it's like a fun event to watch. Although I don't know who's in charge of programming. I would just love if the main fight didn't start at one in the morning. Like, yeah, it's really annoying. They have the DCC out there. Yes, we saw all the DC. It was a little bit of a spoiler as to who made it this year because we haven't seen the new season yet. Yeah, but it's also like they post on social media like we know who made it. Yeah, I knew that my spoiler alert, my swirly Reese and Charlie had made it. So that was like all I really cared about.

Yeah. And then, oh, and Ben went to the other fight. Yes. And then the next night there was like UFC, the separate one that a ton of celebrities were at, including Ben. And he, I'm passed out. I went to bed at eight o'clock watching Veep. Actually, I woke up in the middle of the night, like choking on my own throw up. It was actually really crazy. How did Ben get tickets? Ben, you know.

Okay. Who did he go with? He brought his friend Encore. Like literally people fawning over him. Like, oh no, Ben, take my free seats. Take my free seats. Like you don't understand the power of the BSC. Did he offer you a ticket? Of course. But I was not going.

- Like now do you wish that you went? - Well, when he got home, I was in like a fitful sleep. So when he got home, I was like kind of up and I was so hungry too. So I was like, can you get me a piece of bread and tell me about your night? And he was telling me that he saw Brianna Chicken Fry and I was like really jealous and not Ben, he's so funny. He's like literally texting with Brianna Chicken Fry and like, hey, I'm in this lounge, you wanna meet? Like he didn't just like run into her. He's so like makes magic happen, you know? - Yeah. - And then he ran into Kelly Taylor they had never met.

And so Ben was like kind of nervous. He was like, I'm going to go up and like say that I'm your husband. And Kelly was like, oh my God, of course I know BSC. I'm a swirly. Like she was everything you could possibly want. So Ben was feeling like really high on his own shit. Who else did he tell me he ran into? Like it was star studded. Like, oh, before they went to dinner and there was like a new restaurant opening. So that's where Ben went. And obviously it was like packed with like cool people. And I get tagged in like a million TikToks when I get home. Yeah.

and Bethany was at this restaurant opening, and so she's making a TikTok, like, "Come with me to fabulous new restaurant opening," and she is filming, and like, Ben. - Ben.

So yeah, Ben spoke to Bethany. Ben met everyone. Ben was out and about. And like, for the most part, I haven't gotten to anything. Like, I just have no energy to go. And whenever Ben gets home, he's like, it's horrible. Nothing is worth going to. Yeah, yeah. And I never feel FOMO. But every once in a while. Even when Ben was getting dressed, I was so tired. And so was he. He had had like a hard day. And I was like, I said, I'm like, I seriously, I'm so not jealous of you. Like, have the best time. Bye. Meanwhile, I got home. I was actually like kind of...

- But just take the era's lesson. - No, it's so true, it's so true, it's so true. - Yeah, are you ready for our next story? Last night was the Governor's Awards 2024. It's the Oscars Governor's Award. So like the pictures, they're like standing, it's all the celebrities were there. - Okay. - Standing in front of like a red carpet. - Yeah, I saw, they look beautiful. - That said Oscars and I'm like, the Oscars weren't on last night, were they? - No, and it's like the Oscars. - No, it's the Oscars Governor's Award. They really just, any excuse to get dressed up, these people.

Yeah, so J-Lo was there, Angelina Jolie, Selena, Jennifer Lawrence was there, pregnant, wearing Bottega, a sister in pregnancy for you. I need to keep a list of who I'm pregnant with at the same time. Yeah, but like also it'll start coming, like obviously there are people who are, you know, at the end of their run, but like people who are in the same timeline as you, like you'll start finding out soon. Yeah, I was like briefly pregnant with Pookie.

- Yes, you were. Demi Moore and Nicole Kidman, did you see last night during Yellowstone how hard they're pushing that new show, Landman? - I did see how hard they were pushing that new show. - Did it work for you? - Honestly, a little bit. They said that it was premiering after Yellowstone. If I wasn't so tired, I fell asleep right after. - No, it wasn't. It was a sneak peek. It wasn't a premiere. It was like a preview. - The only thing is Jon Hamm. I don't know why. And I know Jon Hamm is in one of the most critically acclaimed best TV shows, Mad Men.

Something about him is not like a serious actor to me. I feel like he's always in it being like satirical, like in 30 Rock, you know? I don't know why. When I saw he was in it, I was like, oh, this show's not going to be good.

Also, I feel that way about Demi Moore. I feel like the Taylor Sheridan world, it's like he finds people and they're up and coming. I don't want people that have been around doing this in a million other shows. The thing is, I don't even know a single character except for Rip. Except I'll allow Billy Bob Thornton because he's the land man. Agreed, 1,000%. But when it comes to the Yellowstone characters, I do not know a single, besides for Rip, a single one of their first and last names in real life. And also Michelle Randolph is in Landman.

Taylor Sheridan likes her.

Yeah, I like her. I like her too, obviously. I mean, what's not to like? So that's a big draw for me, but I could just see myself watching for her and then being annoyed that she's not in every scene. I don't know. Also, Taylor Sheridan is pissing me off. And if I'm going to support another one of his shows, I don't want it to be this one. They're clearly trying to take the whole Yellowstone audience because the show's ending, but it has the biggest audience in TV cable history. And they're trying to put it on another show, and they've chosen Landman. And I don't think it's a worthy...

The title also makes me laugh. Agreed. And I was saying to Ben last night, I need Taylor Sheridan to go on Joe Rogan. Or like a podcast. Yeah. Like a long form. Because I feel, I want to know what his motives are, you know? Yeah. Would you say Landman is greater than Sandman? That piece of shit book you read to your kids? Yeah, I would say. I haven't seen Sandman for a while. I think I might have hidden it. I ripped it up and threw it in the garbage.

Anyway, more governors at the Governor's Awards. Love to see the Charlies being glamorous. Tom Hanks and Rita Wilson. What about Kim Zolciak and Chet Wilson? Not pictured, but maybe they just didn't walk the carpet for privacy. Love that Rita Wilson, now that I'm in this phase of my life, love that she never changed her name. Rita Wilson Hanks. Yeah, she's Rita Wilson. Love that. Yeah. So I guess this is just giving a little taste of awards season. Yeah.

If you're feeling hungry. I'm not. But I did like to see everyone like looking beautiful. Everybody looks like a clown these days. Yeah. Like it's like being ugly is like a competition and they're all trying to win first place. So to see everyone like looking normal and sound of mind, it was really it was a pleasure. Jennifer Lawrence looked absolutely beautiful. She never steps out. And when she does, like she doesn't make us regret it. You know, she's like, yeah. Like every time I see him, like we made the right bitch famous, you know?

Totally. She's so beautiful. Yeah, she really is. And she's got the personality to match, which people that beautiful usually don't. Right, because they're the theater kids who shut you out of 13 because they were jealous of your big personality. Not only that, they've never had to rely on anything other than their looks. Yeah, and their talent. Let's talk about like models, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. Are you ready for our next story? I am. Some big sports music news. Sports? Oh, yes. Yes.

Beyonce will perform Cowboy Carter songs for the first time during NFL halftime show on Christmas. On Netflix. Can somebody explain it to me?

So Beyonce will perform songs from Cowboy Carter during halftime of the NFL game between the Baltimore Ravens and the Houston Texans on Christmas Day at NRG Stadium in her Texas hometown. Details about their performance are scarce. However, Netflix teased in a press release Sunday that it will include some special guests who are featured on her genre-bending country album, which had collaborations with Dolly, Miley, Post Malone, Shabuzy, and more artists. Jackie, also, can you explain it to me?

No, I... Football on Christmas is on cable. So Netflix is live streaming the game on Wednesday, December 25th, the Christmas game. Oh, great. Another piece of shit we're not going to be able to watch. Good luck watching. So wait, the game is also on Netflix? Netflix is live streaming the game. But that's crazy because...

Do they have like a NFL contract? Yeah. Prime does. Prime has Thursday Night Football and then the rest of football is on cable. Well, they maybe made a big bid for the Christmas game. Just one rogue game on Netflix? This makes no sense. Netflix does a lot of one rogue. Yeah.

Netflix is like so janky. Unless this is like not an NFL affiliated. It is, but like could you imagine them paying the Ravens and paying the... There are. Oh, you mean not an NFL. They paid the Ravens and the Texans to play. But there have been non-affiliated like Super Bowl or football performances like outside the stadium. Oh, yes, yes, yes. Like Taylor Swift did that big one in Houston, I think for the Super Bowl, but it was like the day before. This is different because they are playing football on Netflix.

I'm so confused. Also, speaking of football, you know, Travis's team lost last night. They're now no longer undefeated. And they lost to Josh Allen's team. To Haley Steinfeld's boyfriend. And Taylor didn't go to the game. So they lost when she doesn't go, which like...

I'm happy for her that they lose when she doesn't go. That like looks good for her. Agreed. But she didn't like cross paths with Haley. Well, that's the other thing. What is the status? This is like a blind spot in my Swifty knowledge. If somebody could leave a comment. What is the status of Haley Steinfeld's relationship with Taylor Swift? Like she was briefly in the girl squad. Claudia, it's obviously non-existent or else they would have like gone to the game together. They would have been waiting for this game their whole lives. Yes, but Taylor couldn't go to the game regardless. Like she's in era's mode. Like she, even though like she had the night off, I think.

And Toronto to Buffalo is a very short flight. She doesn't do that. Like if she's in a city, she's not leaving. Like she's finishing her. But the last show was on Saturday. Oh, and the game was on Sunday. And then she's going to Vancouver. Yeah. Like she really could have gone. Yeah. That's weird. But she didn't want to see Haley. Maybe that's it. That's what I'm saying. I don't know if Haley was there, but yeah, the chief lost. It was a tough, I actually watched it. It was a good game. Good game.

Also, I was going to say back to the other artists with Beyonce, Shabuzy is doing SNL. Shabuzy is doing SNL. With Paul Mezcal as host. I like Paul Mezcal. He is a nice looking boy.

- So I've seen the trailer for "Gladiators" and I'm very open to it. - The fuck is "Gladiators"? - The movie, "Gladiator", they're remaking it. - Are they? - Paul Mezcal, yeah, I think it just came out. - Oh, well, you know, I wanted to go to the movies yesterday and you and your Matt Damon quote are actually ruining my life. Me and Ben were like, we just wanna go be fat, eat popcorn, we don't need to see the best movie, we just need to see something. - You guys should see "Gladiator". - There's nothing playing. The only thing was this Judy Greer movie, "A Christmas Pageant".

And I was like, wow, are we really going to see? No, Jackie, it was like, it's about these like bad kids. It's all about kids. Judy Greer is just like the mom. Like it looked so stupid to the point where I was like, I don't think we can go. Like it just. I think you just have to wait one week. Like everything's coming out in a week. I know. I know. And I have, I have my Wicked tickets. Your Wickets? I have my Wickets and I'm ready to go. Your tickets, tickets, tickets. Well, that's very exciting. It is. Are you ready for our next story? No. Oh my God. Are you? No. Is it our next story that's brought to you by Two-Faced? Yes.

Yes. All right, so Jax and I are really excited to be working with Too Faced again. Their viral bestseller, Kissing Jelly Lip Oil Gloss, is the ultimate holiday present this holiday season. And they literally make the gift giving so easy because there's actually like a to and from where you can write like a little note written on the packaging. It's really perfect for gifting. It comes in six juicy and nostalgic scents. Sour watermelon, bubble gum, grape soda, pina colada, rosemary,

sweet cotton candy. It delivers 12-hour moisture. It has immediate shine. It's really comfortable, and it doesn't have that sticky, like tacky feeling. It's, of course, vegan and cruelty-free, and it's $22. And because they have so many fabulous scents, I thought it would be fun to play a little game with Jax. I'm going to give you a situation. Okay. Kind of like an improv. Okay, I'm telling you where you're going. Tell me which of these Kissing Jelly Lip Oil Gloss Scents you are going to wear today.

For the following situations. Okay, let's say you're running errands. Which one are you reaching for? Bubblegum. Would you care to explain yourself? Such a running errands vibe. It is. Like I might be chewing bubblegum too. Yeah, yeah, I like that. What about like a very chill holiday get together? Ooh, I think raspberry. Raspberry.

I think raspberry is a good call. I will sort of ask you what you think about pina colada because the pina colada is a clear gloss with a gold shimmer. And I feel like gold shimmer is very holiday. It is very holiday. That would be my backup. But I feel like just raspberry, it's the vibes of the holiday. What about a date night? Which one are you reaching for? So then it has to be Zach's favorite flavor, right? He loves a sour watermelon. But what about birthday kiss? Like it's really, it's like a smoochy type of...

You know? For date night? Okay. Birthday kiss. Let's say you have like a big holiday work party. Ooh, big holiday work. Like for me, I'm going pina colada because of the gold shimmer. Right, right. No, you're right. And what about just like classic work? Oh, classic work. Hmm. Like there's a regular day at the office for Jackie O. She's an in-office girl. She's no longer working remote.

- I think sweet cotton candy because it's cool mint blue and I love that smell. - And last but not least, let's say you're having brunch, very casual, mimosas with the swirlies, not me of course, I'll be doing a virgin mimosa, with friends and family.

Grape soda. Yeah, grape soda. I love the concept. Like we were raised on like lip glosses with delicious flavors. And I love that they're bringing this back because I feel like we're all obsessed with like lip oils now looking for like that plump hydrated look. But bringing back that like early 2000s nostalgia when we all used to like eat our own lip gloss, obsessed.

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Especially their kissing jelly lip oil gloss. It's like the perfect gloss for the season. Today's episode is also brought to you by Haya Health. So typical children's vitamins are really candy in disguise. They're filled with two teaspoons of sugar, unhealthy chemicals, other gummy junk that kids who are growing up just like should not eat. And that's why Haya was created. It's a pediatrician approved super powered chewable vitamin.

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Thank you, SlashChart. We didn't even address the fact that we're matching today. I mean, there's so much to address. Like, I'm literally with child. Like, how could we address something so rudimentary? We just needed to address the twins in the room. Are the twins in the room with us? Right here. Oh, I'm not having twins.

You guys know that that was definitely like something I was like potentially looking forward to. Although I am on a side of TikTok where like girls are talking about how they found out that there was a second baby at like 25 weeks. So like there's still hope for me. And that would explain like why I'm rapidly gaining weight. But it's not completely off the table, but it's not currently on.

Our next story is some fun celeb hookup news because Kristen Cavallari is sharing that she hooked up with Jason Statham and Morgan Wallen, her friend claims. So Kristen and Justin put out a video. You have to watch. They did that trend of like suspect is blah, blah, blah. We need to do that. Claudia, they fucking roasted each other. It was crazy.

So funny and so honest. And in that video, we learned that she has hooked up with Morgan Wallen and Jason Statham. Okay, I love Kristin Cavallari for this. This is what Justin Anderson said about her. Suspect let Morgan Wallen hurt her feelings and she kept going back.

And then about Jason Statham, suspects hottest hookup that she's never told anyone about was Jason Statham is what Justin Anderson said. - I feel like there are certain people in Hollywood and Kristin Cavallari is definitely one of them who are like really pretty, have been famous for a long time and have definitely hooked up with a lot of celebrities.

And I feel like people like that are never giving us enough information. And I guess that's how you stay hooking up with celebrities is by not being a blabbermouth. But the absolute gossip girl in me needs to know who certain people have hooked up with. And the fact that we are now getting this tiny bit of really juicy information, like the Morgan Wallen one is so crazy to me. I love this. I need more young, hot things in Hollywood to tell us who they're hooking up with. Or have hooked up with.

Now that Kristen, like she said, she doesn't want to date celebrities anymore. Like she just wants a regular degular. Like, so she's not jeopardizing her opportunities to hook up with celebrities. So like, she'll let us know. Yeah. I love this for her. Like this video was so funny. You have to watch it. Well, she lives in Nashville, by the way. So it makes sense. I feel like if you're like a pretty girl who lives in Nashville, like you've hooked up with Morgan Wall.

- Where you've like had a chance. - Yeah, yeah, yeah. I feel like even if you're an ugly girl. - The Jason Statham one's really shocking 'cause also like he's married with children now. - And he is like a movie star. Like he doesn't even live in the States. Like he is a global movie star. - So go Kristen.

Go, Kristen, go. I wonder what phase of her fame, like Laguna Beach era. Well, not Laguna Beach. She was a minor. It must have been like a while ago because, like I said, he's married with kids. Right, and then she was married. So it must have been before. Yeah, I think it was pre all that. And then also don't forget, even though we just think of Kristen and Jay Cutler and he's just like her ex-husband who's annoying, he's Jay Cutler. Oh, no. I don't forget that he's kind of like a Patrick Mahomes type, you know? Right, right.

I love like a marriage, an actual marriage between like a mega star and a star athlete. Mostly football. I don't know why I have like a special place. I'm trying to think like who else, who else made a good marriage? Like in football? Yeah. With like a celebrity. Yes. Russell Wilson and Sierra. Yeah. But Olivia Colbo's new. I mean like who's been together now they're like an institution. Okay. Russell Wilson and Sierra. That's a really good one. Although is he retired? I can't remember. Um,

I feel like back in the day, who's Tony Romo married to? Not Jessica Simpson. He's married to Chase Crawford's sister. Sister, yeah, yeah, yeah. That's a good one. Yeah, it is a good one. Also, it was not football that I was just thinking. Oh, like Kate Upton and Justin Verlander. Perfect example. Oh, my God, I can't talk. Joanna Garcia Swisher. And Nick Swisher. And Nick Swisher.

That's a good one. There's good ones in baseball too. Oh, our favorites. Hannah Jeter and Derek Jeter. Our favorites. They're an institution. I like them a lot. That's a good one. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Oh, bidding is such sweet sorrow. A little Bionna chicken fry news. Bionna?

- Briana, Miss Chick is allegedly, - Miss Chick. - Miss Chick is threatening to release video of Zach Bryan allegedly abusing her. - Do it, do it, do it. - So she claims she has a video of her ex, Zach Bryan, abusing her. She threatened to release the supposed footage on Sunday morning after the country singer is posting images of her cat on social media.

So she took to TikTok to say, if that man doesn't stop sharing pictures and videos of her cat, she'll post a video of him whipping shit at my face. So I guess he's been like posting to taunt her. Like, and I'm not sure what the origins of this cat are. I don't know if it was a cat they got together, if it was a cat Brianna, because they both had a lot of pets and-

the pets that they brought into the relationship, as far as I know, left with them. Like Brianna left with her dog and I think a cat too. But maybe this is a cat that they like fostered together. I'm not sure. But Brianna has been saying like it's her cat and he stole it from her. And I guess he's like taunting her. The only thing he can really do, he has nothing like to say against her.

And so he's just torturing her with the pictures of this cat. And, you know, he sure shut up after that. Yeah, because she had said previously, I miss Stump so much. I want to fucking kidnap him. But when Zach left and didn't tell me anything, he took Stump out of spite. He didn't even like cats. His dog, Jack, hates cats. She said, my dog, Boston, loves cats. I love cats. Can someone steal the cat back for me? The animals throughout this have been one of the hardest parts. Like, I just think about Boston and Jack and Stump. I think about Stump every night. Oh, my God. We need to get this cat back.

Well, I think she should make more threats. Obviously, this is a person who I think responds to this type of violent and aggressive behavior. That's his method of communication. So I would threaten to put it all out there if the cat isn't left on my doorstep by 9 p.m. tonight. Of course, Dave commented, do it. I commented, even if he stops posting the cat, you should post it. Yeah. Like, I know and I think that she is...

slowly like rolling back this line of thinking because you could tell in the first episode you talked about it and then in the second there was already like a shift. But when you really were in a relationship with someone that you love, even if they did wrong to you, you still have this like odd need and want to protect them. And I'm sure she has things on her phone that could like seriously...

- Yeah. - Destroy. And she needs to start, she maybe, okay, she doesn't have to post it, whatever, she needs to start using it to her advantage. I like this concept of making threats. I think it's an effective way of communicating with seriously like diabolical, manipulative pieces of shit. They respond to that sort of, they almost respect it. And I love this, I really do. And I think it's a brilliant approach and I think it will be quite effective.

- Yeah, also for like on the Brianna's personal life front, she's really been like living, enjoying life. I think she posted a video and like some guys like cozying up to her. - She's been sharing on TikTok about this guy, Australian. - Maybe giving her shit and she's just like fighting back in the comments. - So this is a guy she's been sharing like on TikTok.

She's calling him the Aussie guy. I think he's Australian. I think she met him at a bar a couple of nights ago and he's in New York for a week and they're just like hooking up. Like she's being very open about like what that is. But she's like out every night. She's staying at a hotel in New York looking for an apartment, looking fabulous, going to fabulous events. I mean, Dana White gave her tickets to the UFC. It wasn't like that she went to that fight that she saw Ben at like for fun. Like she's like a big celeb now. They hooked it up. She was sitting two rows behind the president, one row behind Miles Taylor. Like,

She's at that level. Like she's a celeb. She's living her best life as they say. No, it's fabulous. And no one deserves it more. But someone commented on her TikTok that was fast. And she said, well, I was cheated on my whole relationship. So yeah. Even if she wasn't. Okay. Shut up. How about what if you actually shut the fuck up? I think the world would be an amazing place if you did that. Yeah.

Just a thought. Love this journey for her. And I think it's also made people realize like how really radio silent she had went on social media during her relationship. She would post every now and then. But now you forget she's a content creator by trade. Now she's posting like content creators three to five times a day. And people are like, oh my God, I miss this side of you. This is what she became popular for. Like going out every night, fashion, makeup, personality. And she's so back. Yeah.

Yeah, you can. And she's having fun and she deserves fun after what she's been through. She deserves fun. Yeah, absolutely.

Those are the fast five. Let's quickly dive into the Yellowstone recap. Episode two of the final season aired last night. Not much happened, although it was an enjoyable episode. Like I found myself enjoying every minute of it. Me too. I have a question. Once again, did I miss something on the TV that said, okay, because one day- I was looking out for it this time. One day it's six months before, six weeks before, and then the next day-

One day John's alive, but we don't see him. One day Rip is walking, and the next day he's walking back to the ranch. I'm like, oh, Lloyd's probably shocked to see you. What, do you need a horse because of the snake bite? Ben was so confused, and I made it a point to have to point out to him, they didn't do six weeks before. And the thing is, they keep going back and forth in time, and usually there's like a big indicator that we're back in the future. And that would be Kevin Costner. Because half the show, he's alive. Right.

So where are you? But he's not there. Or even then it cuts to Beth like in a black dress. I thought she was going to the funeral, but like, okay, clearly we're somber now. What is that? Like, I'm,

I need it spelled out for me. What day of the week is it? I do want to say best part of the episode, dropping that wench Piper Parabo off at the airport. Like when I thought when she was walking to the airport and then she turned around, I'm like, do not turn around, go to the airport, please leave. Like I could not stand her. Not that idiot, not even being on house arrest.

- I'm just worried this is not how her story ends because why would they have the actress Piper Parabo be in the last season for only three minutes? Like they could have just like not paid her for this season and not had her. - I know. - I completely forgot about her. - But she's so unnecessary and she's so random. - Yeah. - That exchange between her and Beth like was really funny, but like I need her out of the state immediately. Oh my God, wait.

Am I just like really emotional and pregnant or when Rip said he'd never left the state before, like, did you also cry? I didn't cry, but my heart. Like you felt squeezed. I love this man. Like I would do anything for him. Yeah. No, I wanted to know. So they were obviously like so happy when they went down to four sixes for the night. Yeah. And they're really trying to highlight like a shift in the culture of

Between Montana and Texas. How Texas is like a state that really embraces and like harnesses agricultural and like farming. And they make it, you know, everybody respects it. And in Montana, because of all these like bureaucracy and tourism and big companies, it's a dying job, right? Right. And so it seems like Beth is starting to like maybe see a future for them. Yes, there. Elsewhere. And then John dies. So like, I don't know if that propels her forward into the future or like takes...

her back. Like maybe it's like, Oh, we could have had this, but now we can't. Yeah. I don't know either, but it's nice to see her having some ideas because somebody needs to do something. And it was also nice to hear from Casey. Like we even last week, we struggled to like place Casey within the family. Like, is he supposed to take over? What's he about? And he, and he literally said like what he's about, which is that I like the ranch work, but I never wanted to take this over. Yeah. And now it's like on Tate. And obviously it's like a big question to ask a kid who seriously has said three words in his whole life.

But it seems that like he's having the same sort of feelings. Like I like working here. I don't want to like run it, but yeah. My God, it seems like nobody wants to work these days. Bitch, it's a family business. Some people would kill for this. Get up, get to work. Yeah. No, that scene. And I'm sorry. I really don't like his wife. Like she is just, and she doesn't do anything wrong. She, and I feel like even recently, like she really has like leaned into the Dutton life. And I think that she straddles her two worlds very well. I just like find, maybe it's her haircut. Like I find her insufferable.

- Yeah, and I always just feel like she's like making things really like emotionally weighted for Tate. Like just saying stuff like, like your dad just pulled- - Ben said the same thing when they pulled over. - He just pulled over on the side of the road. You could have been like, oh, he had to take a call. Instead it's like, when your father's calling. - Yeah, Jackie, Ben literally was like, that's probably the wrong thing to say to your kid. I'm like, for sure. - Like he's going through a lot.

He's just a kid. Like you don't have to put all this emotional weight on him. You could have just made up an excuse for why he pulled over. Jackie, she didn't have to make one up. He literally said I have to download something on my phone for work. Hang on. Okay. Sorry, honey. He had to download something for work on his phone. We'll meet him at the house. That was a really weird scene. But that's just like classic her. Like they do the floors and it's like every house. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not just like the floor. She's so serious. She's so serious. I also hate that bitch for market equities. Like,

When she was getting her pussy ate on that table, I was like, girl, this is literally like a government building because you put your dress back on. Girl, this is Wendy's. I was like, get your pussy off the table. No, and it's like she obviously like sees Jamie for the like loser that he is. So like how can she even muster up a little something for him?

- Yeah, but she obviously like, she sees a nice future for herself. So she's putting out, you know, for her future self. - Oh, you think that's what it is? Or she's like, and what I also don't understand is like, why would a woman like this, like literally give herself mind, body, soul, everything to like this company? Like she's hoarding herself out for the company.

I don't think she's going to stay with Jamie. I think once this is all said and done, she moves on and then like seduces the next man who's in the way. No, because Jamie's like so easy. Like if he becomes the governor so easy, then she's like the governor's wife. Like I could see her doing this. Yes. For the company, but more so for herself. No, but she's not pursuing the wifey route. She would already have a ring on her finger.

She's just manipulating him for the company. And it's like, girl, why do you care so much about this company? They could fire you. I feel like she's just manipulating him because she can. By the way, and when Beth choked her, obsessed. Yeah, no, but I'm telling you, like, it doesn't end in marriage for the two of them or else she already would have manipulated Jamie into proposing to her. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

She's really just like using him for market equities. It is really nice to see Casey like do something for once in his life. You know, he's always sort of like letting life pass him by. But even him making that phone call, I was like, finally. Oh, so you have contacts. Yeah. Where the hell have they been?

But I think that's also just like as a man, now that his father is gone, like he has to step up to the plate. He's the man of the family. So he's got to call his contacts and download his app. That rattlesnake thing. Like I was like, I'm gonna have nightmares for life. I thought she already was bitten. Oh, so did I, which is better than what it ended up being. Like not her laying there, laying in fear for how long? Like, yeah, I just about passed away.

Yeah, that was shocking. No, and I don't remember how they picked like who goes to Texas and who doesn't, but like the way I would be so relieved. Like that kid is crying in the bunkhouse, Becky Ellison, bitch, you could be in Texas, stop crying. No, and the MVP of the show is Gator the Cook.

Oh he is just a delight. He's a delight. It's clear that because John is not in the show anymore they've beefed up other people's scenes like we got so much Beth and Rip and we got so much of like the cowboy humor and like and I love it like where was this content all along? No John was sucking all the energy out of the room. And also I think they were making a show like more for TV and less for like the cowboys across America watching and I think they realized like no like it's the

the people who are shown on the show, who love the show, like let's do more of this. That even showing that workman, that like, that Smith. - Yes, last week, last week, people were writing in the comments, he is actually a real-- - You knew it. - And he had passed away, the episode was dedicated to him, that's who that was. - Oh, that's really sweet. - He was like a famous Texas blacksmith.

Yeah, you can you can say even like the high. I love the highway scene with Beth and the police officer. And it's like that's nothing to move the storyline except just like in like no, it's not the same. Yeah. And it's just like nice dialogue and appreciation for our cattle ranchers. And you know what? We don't appreciate our ranchers enough. I can say that. No, we don't.

- I don't think about where my piece of steak comes from. I had beef stew last night. I wasn't thinking about the rancher that rounded up the cattle and took him to Texas for brucellosis. - I meant to say this last week too. Every time the episode ends and it says executive producer Kevin Costner, I'm like, get the hell out of here. You can't take credit for this. - You obviously don't love it enough. - You didn't even show up. How can you have been an EP? - 'Cause he like signed on from the beginning. - In name only. He's an executive producer in name only, yeah. - But like the brucellosis is really cramping my style.

I agree. I need those fucks to get back to Montana. And they just like,

are parked up in the desert because they want to be like Taylor Sheridan the actual man like offered them to stay in bunkhouses but they want to be sleeping with the snakes. No Jackie they didn't offer it it's like it's a part of his service like you can pay extra they paid for the land they're paying to rent just to get through the season and it would have made it more they're on an extremely budgeted travel agenda they can't pay for the bunkhouses too that's like you know getting an upgrade at a hotel.

- I guess so. Just seems that it seems like they wanna be sleeping in the dirt. - I mean, why they aren't sleeping in their cars is beyond me. There's a truck right there. I can't get in. Go lay down. - Yeah. - Even when Rip was like, I can't leave. And she was like, we're going to hotel. Sleep in Beth's car. - Yeah.

It's a little much. Yeah, they're like making it hard for themselves. They're making it harder than it needs to be. And like, why are they so far? Why don't you park up next to the bunkhouse or like a close by? They like really want to be so remote. Yeah, how are they charging their phones? I was thinking about that. Because Rip keeps picking up the phone. True. Maybe a car charger. Maybe there's a generator or something in the car. Definitely a generator. Definitely. Because the gator's got a gate. Gator's got a gate. Maybe solar power. Yeah, yeah.

You know that house in the East Camp that Casey and his wife are building? Like, I need that house. Yeah, but like, no neighbors for miles. And it's just you guys. You have to really like your wife. Which I think he does. Yeah, or you could get eaten by a bear. And like, no one would know. Yeah. Just something to think about. But you'd have a nice house. You'd have quiet. In this economy, like, owning land...

It's worth a couple of bears. Worth a couple of billion as the show is foretelling. And they still just won't sell it, right? And I know why, but it's better than it being taken from them. That's true. I don't know. And their financial situation does confuse me a little bit. Like, why?

Beth is riding around in a Bentley, buying everyone hookers and hotel rooms, flying everyone out. Meanwhile, they're broke. Beth has money from her job previously when she shorted stock. She's rolling in it. The ranch work season, it sustains itself just barely, but that's what ranch life is. You make just enough to get to the next season. But yeah, remember when they had a helicopter? Oh, yeah. Where's the copter?

Yeah, like are these people rich or poor? I can't tell. You know? Yeah. They have so much staff, drivers. They're not liquid. They're not liquid.

--All right well that's the Yellowstone recap that honestly was better than the actual episode. That's our show you guys. Oh tomorrow we have a guest. We've been teasing it for quite a bit. We'll announce it later today. I'm really excited about it. I actually watched the episode yesterday because I had like some edits to make. It was so good. Like reliving it again. You guys are really gonna love it. So I'm excited for that. And if that's all,

That is all for today. Thank you guys so much for listening to the Toast the Millennium Morning Show where we deliver the fast-track stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast and where podcasts can be found. So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Video, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places where you'll be listening to podcasts. Vanessa Toste, leave a five-star review about our beautiful setting and wickedly talented we are. Love ya. Bye.