Tits Out For The Boys: Monday, November 4th, 2024
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Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to the Toast and happy, oh, what is it, Monday? Okay, okay, let's just take it for what it is, you know? Let's take stock. It's actually a huge Monday, like arguably one of the biggest of the year. It is for a number of reasons. This is a really big week. Now, of course, for most people, including myself, like Election Day makes it a major week.

I also have other things going on this week that I'm really excited about, including but not limited to my birthday. I agree, and I'm so glad you brought that up because through no help of my sister, I slayed the house down fucking boots on a birthday present for you. Like, my generosity knows no bounds. You are going to, like, I don't even have a concern. Like, you're going to love it.

I'm so excited. Wow. It's going to be at your house tomorrow. Like not me coming in a day early, a dollar short and a day early. Okay. Wow. I can't wait. I was not expecting to hear that. I kept waiting for you to send me like your wishlists and things. Nothing. I've been thinking about it. I don't know. Like the things that I actually want, they're not like to be a birthday present, especially considering like, you know, the level that you and I are at in terms of how we gift each other. Like I want to cast iron skillet.

That's just like not a birthday present. It's so it's not sexy. It's not glamorous. I'm not getting you a cast iron skillet. Sorry. I did see like a 60 piece leg crusade set. 60? It's literally like down to the mugs. Like it's everything. It's like going viral. It's like $5,000. Oh my God.

I don't need all that anyway. It would just be funny. And also... Too expensive for a joke. This might be a hot take, but like, and I'm really into Le Creuset. I don't think I want their aesthetic like in my mugs. Agreed. And like their colors, the colors of Le Creuset that I like, they don't make in every...

Right. You know? And also right now my like crusade game is so off. I have like three pieces and they're all different colors. Like it's just a mess. So like, I don't know what to do about that. Yeah. And actually, you know, Amazon live is one of our sponsors today. And the like crusade that I have, I actually like fully stole from Amazon live set. Like it was just sitting there and I took it home with me. Like I keep waiting for them to like send me a bill. Like I stole it like a, like a thief. That's a good use of your thievery. It's a good use of my platform, you know? Yeah. Speaking of like crusade though, tomorrow's election day, which means. Speaking of like crusade. Yeah.

I'm going to bring it home, Turdy. What are you going to make for election day? Election day chili. You guys have to make a chili for election day because you put it in the morning. You know what? I love it. No shade to Le Creuset. I'm going to use my new crock pot that Turdy Lou got me so that it will simmer all day. And by the time the results are rolling in, your girl's posting up with a chili. Okay, but you know that me and Ben used our crock pot to make a chili and it was disgusting. We literally had to dump it into the Le Creuset to like properly cook. And we did it for hours. That was your beef stew, I thought. Oh, okay.

One, that was beef stew. And two, my chili recipe was actually born out of a crock pot. Like it's meant for the crock pot. So I have to like do all my meats in the morning, like, you know, brown the meat, add the onions, and then it all goes into the crock pot. I'm going to use the one that Turdy got me. And let me just suggest, I've been doing election day chili for like three years now. I love that. And it's the perfect thing.

For the evening of the election when you're just like watching TV all night. You want refills. No, I love that. Okay, by the way, I'm putting Ben on it. Like we are making a chili. It's not just a chili. It's election day chili. It doesn't feel like, I know it's election week. It doesn't feel like it is election day tomorrow. Because like I voted like over two weeks ago. Like it's weird to not vote on election day. I don't think I've ever voted early. No, I never have. I did vote on Friday. I said and did what I said I was going to do. Nothing better than that.

Even with that, oh my God. Being a woman of your word. It's like the most sickening feeling. Claudia, this week, for some reason, I have done so many things that I've been meaning to do for about a year, including like you guys know, I wallpapered my bathroom. Big reveal coming on my Instagram today once I just like tidy up. Two, I got the den fixed on my car. Did I tell you that? Oh my God. You got the den fixed on your car. You really are a woman of your word.

I've had a dent in my car for over a year from pulling out of my own garage. I bust the windows out your car. More than that, you know how I've always had that thing stuck on my windshield from when I tried to put a tripod on and I put on my windshield what's supposed to go on the dashboard and it's so sticky and no one could ever get it off and it's been there for almost two years since I got a car. Got that off. Wow, she's cleaning house.

There was other things, too. I was just in shock by myself. No, it's really such a great feeling to say you're going to do something and then, like, actually follow through on it. And that's definitely something I feel like I've worked on in my, like, late 20s. No, you're really good about that. You do not let the grass grow under your feet. And someone who, like, I really admire that quality about is you. Thank you. And also, shh.

And Shannon Ford. I'm seeing her today. She inspires me to do the things that I want to do, like, right now. Yeah, she's good about that. Actually, she's coming over today because she has, like, a couple of hours to kill before she goes to the airport. So we'll probably, like, be best friends, you know, take pictures, have lunch. Classic. Do, like, best friend type of things. Soak up each other's awesomeness. Pretty much. Pretty much. There was something else that I did that I said I was going to do and I'm... Oh, I ordered a bunch of, like, stuff, like, lounge chairs. I know you always, like, when you come to my house... Oh, my God, you have no outdoor furniture. I don't have...

- I don't have outdoor furniture. I don't have loungers. - Yeah, it's like how am I supposed to catch the rays? - For sunbathing. Right, I don't catch rays, but I know every time I guess come like they're looking for loungers. So I ordered them online. They'll be here on Friday. - That's exciting. - And then I also wanted to get, tell me if this is good. I wanted to get like an outdoor shed for like- - Storage. - Outdoor toys and stuff, but like ordering a shed online, like- - Okay.

I felt really weird. I just felt like. Absolutely not. You cannot order a shed online. It's giving like child trafficking a thousand percent. Like you're literally going to open up that shed and like a couple of kids are going to run out. Absolutely not. I feel like they think I'm looking for a child. You can't leave that sort of internet like paper trail. I won't allow it. Also, there's something even beyond the child trafficking. There's something just like categorically false and wrong about ordering a shed. Like you have to go to one of those shed places. You ever drive past them on the highway? It's like a thousand sheds just chilling outside.

I think I need to get my shed IRL because it was giving like weird trafficking vibes. Where are you going to put it? I don't know. It depends what it looks like because some of them look like a little house, which is really cute. That's very Kardashian. Like they have like doll houses and kids. Oh, well, that's like a playhouse. But yeah, it just depends on the vibe. But there are so many outdoor toys that I just like love to put in the shed. And then also once I start my gardening, which that is like high up on my list of things I need to do ever since Martha. Yeah.

And I told Zach, he didn't know what to get me for my birthday. And I told him like, I want a garden. I don't expect him to do the whole thing, but like get the ball, get the person here to help me corner on my garden. Like that's what I want for my present. And I'll take it from there, but I need you to start the process. So it sounds like we both had incredibly productive weekends because I cleared my entire schedule. Like seriously did not. I had plans with Shannon plans to Taylor. I did not go to one singular thing. And instead I watched everything.

Was it four or five? I'm not sure. Harry Potter movies. You watched all of them? There's eight and I'm on the, I just finished Goblet of Fire. I think I watched four.

They're three hours long each. Like, I seriously worked around the clock on watching Harry Potter films. It's something that Ben has really wanted me to do. And I said I would, like, a million years ago when he watched Twilight. Like, it was, like, this equal trade. But, of course, I never did it. And I thought, you know, the vibes were so Harry Potter this weekend. It was, like, chilly in New York. It was the marathon. Like, it was just, I don't know, the vibes were right. And I said I would do it.

And I did it. And I watched the first four movies. And I think like a lot of people have been waiting for me to go on this journey. And it's a whole world that I'm really unfamiliar with. I never read the books growing up. As a kid, I definitely saw Sorcerer's Stone. Yeah. Who didn't? Literally, who didn't? And like some random scenes in other movies felt like a little familiar. But I really, I'm basically starting from scratch.

And let me tell you, I'm really enjoying the journey and it's making Ben so happy. So I'm happy for him. I got a little worried because I watched the first movie and that was the only movie I'd like truly seen. And I really enjoyed it. And it brought me this overwhelming sense of nostalgia. And I wasn't sure if that's why I liked the movie or if like the movie was good. And like, this was my sort of beat.

Then the second and third movies, like, were, like, bad. Like, I really didn't. Like Twilight. Yeah, like, I really didn't enjoy at all. And I was thinking, oh, maybe, like, this whole universe is not for me. And that's what I'm learning here.

Then Goblet of Fire, which we watched last night, completely restored my faith in the series. It's the one movie that Robert Pattinson is in. Now, I won't spoil what happens, but what they do to that boy is just wrong. To me, that's where things change. They obviously had a much bigger budget. They were just doing better things. It was just better. I loved it so much. Tonight, we're watching Order of the Phoenix, I think it is.

- Yeah, that sounds right. - Yeah, I'm just like such like a fantasy. It's actually really crazy. I was trying to explain this to Ben. It's crazy to really see how,

influential the film is on other things. Like, please, the Hunger Games, they literally do a mini Hunger Games in Goblet of Fire. Like it's a complete rip off. Even I was thinking of like Fourth Wing, like little things are so clearly, it's really the blueprint. And then of course I got curious about like, I know this movie's huge, the books are huge. I know that they have Harry Potter, but like how rich is J.K. Rowling? - Billion. - I was like, is she a billionaire? 'Cause she would really be the only person who became a billionaire through writing books. Like that's it.

And her last updated net worth, which was like two, maybe three years ago, was $800 million. Close. Isn't that insane? And especially like the first book is the book that has sold the most copies, obviously, because people get into it and whatever. Guess how many copies the first book has sold? I don't know, 50 million? 150. Like it's insane. Holy shit. That's insane. It's just, it's so, it's the craziest thing. So I'm like new to this whole world, just really learning about all of it. Now, J.K. Rowling, like I know people have,

Let me get your temperature on this. People have said, pointed out problematic things in the movie always. And I haven't gotten there yet, but any character who's not white has a crazy name. She does crazy, weird, sort of subtle things like that. You can't really pinpoint why it feels weird, but it does.

And in the first movie, so Harry finds out he's a wizard and he has to go to Diagon Alley to get all of his wizardy things. He's like, but I don't have any money. And Hagrid's like, oh, right, let's take you to the bank. And we go to the bank and the bank is run exclusively by these four-inch trolls with the biggest noses you've ever seen. They're as big as their bodies and huge ears. And I forget what they're called. Are they called trolls? Goblins. Goblins, thank you, yeah. And my jaw hit the floor. I was like, excuse me?

And I guess Ben is kind of, he watched it as a kid, so he never made that association. And he was like, oh, stop. It's good. It's fine. And then, like, the more he watched it as an adult, because this is the first time he's seen it in a while, he was like, oh, it's definitely weird. Yeah. I haven't seen it. I saw, like, you were talking about this, and then, like, there's people that say, like,

In fantasy, like goblins are bankers. And I've not like in my limited knowledge, like experienced like a tie between like Jews and goblins. But like, that's just a blind spot for me. Yeah, the brief research I did, I obviously wasn't the only person who had this thought, was that it's playing on a trope, not that J.K. Rowling created, just that she's playing into like this old medieval sort of stereotype of like goblins and Jews and banks. Like, I don't know.

I would have to look more into it. It doesn't sound good on its face, but I literally don't know anything about fantasy. I've not watched this in my adulthood, so I'm not going to make the call. And I know that you are waiting until your boys are grown and you guys can all read the books and watch the movies together. And I'm so excited for you because I imagine being a young boy, because Ben read the books when he was a kid. Him and his dad read them together and then they watch the movies. It means so much to Ben.

I imagine it's like a fabulous hobby to have as like a young teenage boy or girl, you know.

Yeah, no, I look forward to it. And it's a Harry Potter. Of course, of course. It's too much. It's too much. So yeah, that's always been my plan is to wait until they read the books and I'll read it with them for the first time. And if anybody is even remotely interested in where my current rankings of the first four films are, it goes as such. Sorcerer's Stone, Goblet of Fire. Very close. Like real, almost a tie, but not quite. The third would be Chamber of Commerce.

And the fourth would be Prisoner of Azkaban. Chamber of Secrets. Yeah, I'm calling it the Chamber of Commerce. Like it's such a weird name. They're all weird. I think Order of the Phoenix is weird. And do you know that in some countries it's not Sorcerer's Stone, it's Philosopher's Stone? That's the name of the book. Oh, and they changed it. Yeah, because I went to go like I was looking it up and I saw the book and it was called Philosopher's Stone.

Philosophizer stone. Yeah, I don't know. I can't get into the nitty gritty about things they change from the books to the movies. I'm new here. I'm doing my best to keep up.

Yeah, and it seems like the readers of Harry Potter are very pleased with how the movies turned out. Kind of like Game of Thrones. No complaints. Yeah, so I think that's a great journey for you. Yeah, and I'm also really enjoying learning about the different houses and where you and I would fall. I actually was on HarryPotter.com trying to take a quiz, but they were like, I'm going to make me sign up and give a credit card just to get my results. I think that you are Gryffindor.

The really crazy thing, and I feel like not enough people talk about this, I forget which movie we figured it out in, but Harry's not really a Gryffindor. - What is he really? - He's actually, biologically, more a Slytherin. But when he put the hat on, he was like, "Please, Gryffindor," 'cause his other two friends had gotten in. He was like, "Please, Gryffindor, please, Gryffindor." And that's the power of Harry. He kind of gets what he wants 'cause he's the most important wizard ever. - In this winter break, he wants Gryffindor. - The hat gave him exactly what he wanted.

Interesting. Well, I'm a Ravenclaw. Definitely. And I believe, now don't, guys, don't, I'm sorry if I'm spreading misinformation. I believe my favorite character in the films thus far, which was Robert Pattinson, even though he's not in the rest of the movies. I believe he was a Ravenclaw because he was like really popular, but really sweet. I loved him. He was like the nice boy who like everybody liked. So what do you think you are?

I don't know, I don't really also feel like I'm learning a lot about what differentiates one from the other, except like if you're a dick, you're a Slytherin. Like that's the vibe. - My associations are like Gryffindor, like affable, and Mr. Congeniality.

just oh that's not mine mine is like because most of the Weasleys are in there and there I love the Weasleys they're just like this really down-to-earth Hamish well-raised group of kids like yeah they fight or whatever but like they're just good people like yes yeah definitely down to earth salt of the earth okay I'll put that in there too along with like affable like yes gets along with people congenial yeah Slytherin arseholes nefarious nefarious bad actors and or blonde hair

- Actually, just Malfoy has blonde hair. - I'm sorry. - They're not like a crew of blonde hair, yellow belly losers. It's literally just him. - But if you're a blondini and you don't really associate with the house, you're going Slytherin. - There actually are not a lot of blondinis in the house. And I also want to say one more thing because it obviously takes place in Europe. Most of them have British accents. Obviously the Weasleys are from Ireland and there's different parts of Europe that get involved. Like this guy, Victor Crumb, he was from like- - Has that been really hard for you? - Yes.

He is from, something with a B. Belgium? One of those. No, a different one. Brussels? Keep going. Berlin? Kind of like Russian-y vibes. Belarus? No. Whatever. I really thought I slayed the Belarus. It's clear that it takes place in an alternative universe because they have to travel to the school. But real countries exist. And it's like, where are the American? There's not a single American. Do they just go to a different school?

Oh, I don't know. Like, is Hogwarts the official school of Europe, of the EU? I keep wondering, like, where are the American wizards? Does it take place in, like, in modern day? Yes. Hmm. I don't know. Maybe you'll find some Americans later on. Maybe. That would be cool. Some representation. And then Hufflepuff is just, like, jolly. Yeah, jolly is the perfect word.

And then Ravenclaw, from what I understand, is like pretty cerebral. Yeah. Independent thinkers like me. Classic. Theorists. Okay, so I think I slayed. Yeah, I think you slayed. So that's a journey I'm going on. I'll probably be talking about it all week. I've made immense progress. We started Friday night and I'm already on the fifth movie. Like, I'll be done by the end of the week.

- Yeah, for sure. I watched the most random shit this weekend. Friday night, I did what I said I was gonna do and I watched a bunch of Martha content. I watched her show, Martha Cooks, and I learned a lot about making eggs. - You know she has a new show on Roku.

I don't have Roku in my bedroom. You have a Roku up in my bedroom. You could watch it there if you wanted. Yeah, maybe I'll go watch it there. But there were some good shows on Amazon Prime. She also has a gardening show, but it started at too much of an advanced level. Yeah, so I didn't watch that. And then on Saturday night, I watched some of the most recent season of Kardashians.

Isn't that crazy? Isn't that crazy? What's going on over there? So Courtney had her baby, which I loved, loved, loved watching. And then like Kim is acting. I just like the show because it's like kind of a comfort, like, you know, mindless show. But there's something missing at the moment, like from the swirl. Oh, I turned it off when they went to the Balenciaga show and they were making like a big deal about it. And it was like in Beverly Hills. And they're just like talking about how Balenciaga is everything. The shows are always the moment. Like, what are you talking about?

I don't know. Read the room. Okay. Even if you want to work with Balenciaga and wear Balenciaga, whatever, to dedicate a whole, read the fucking room. It's so funny. Nobody wants to hear about it. I was thinking about Balenciaga on my way to work today because I walked past a Balenciaga store. It was completely empty and I walked past it a lot. And I actually used to live, um, my old apartment had a Balenciaga on the corner and that was during like the big scandal. It was really interesting to watch how like a store that was always busy, like literally the only piece where the

the only people were the police who used to stand outside. Like it was crazy. And I walked past it today and it was still like that. And I thought it was so interesting because there's clearly been some sort of like coordinated effort by celebrities in Hollywood to bring it back, right? Like they have Nicole Kidman, Kim Kardashian, Katy Perry, like they've got the girlies showing up and it's now been like two years of like this sort of strategic attempt. And it's funny how like people are really not buying it. Like I have not seen, and Balenciaga is always on sale. I actually just went to Saks and

And they like, you know, when you walk into the big, like the big, the original Saks Fifth Avenue, like all these huge brands have their own like mini stores inside the store. It's like a mall kind of. Balenciaga literally had a table. It was really crazy. Like it's so interesting how celebrities really do have so much influence. Like people are not listening to them on this. Like they are not down to clown with this. No, it's really so true. And even when they were doing this segment on Balenciaga, like at least like mention it. The, you know, I know people like are,

or upset about Valentina. And then just explain your position because obviously you feel some type of like defensively towards them and Demna, she's like sitting next to him. So just explain that to us instead of pretending like it's not happening because people can't get over it. I can't get over it. Yeah, and the way in which they've come back without even wanting to like acknowledge that

the huge it's just it's weird and it's I I think I'm giving I maybe I didn't give people enough credit like I'm actually I would have assumed like once all the celebrities came back everybody else would like rich people love celebrities and they'll start buying it again and then the rich people buy it and everybody else buys it no it every time I walk past deserted yeah same for like in my department store like every place has a kiosk and like Balenciaga is just always on sale sitting there I did see like one bag that like looked kind of interesting for like a big like mom bag but no no yeah no that that's really lame of them like

I feel like, and we've been saying this for a while, the Kardashians, and I think they probably understand it at this point, have reached like a weird inflection point in the last couple of years where like their relevance, like they're still relevant, but people don't, I don't know, consume their content in the way that they once did. And they're just sort of like these evergreen celebrities and not so much these like cultural, they were like polarizing. I don't know. There's just like something missing. And I actually think,

while it started way before the Balenciaga thing, I think the Balenciaga thing has a lot to do with it. People just find them, for a while, they've always been not so relatable because they're so wealthy, but their love for one another and their love for family and faith, there have been things about them that have always been deeply relatable, even beyond the fact that they fly private everywhere. There's been things you could see, like the sisterhood, we've always seen, and I don't know, I think the Balenciaga thing was a really big part of it.

Yeah, because I think when we think about them and for all of the things that people criticize them about, like I think one of the biggest like core tenants that make them so lovable is like their emphasis on family. I mean, that is the show. And like, it's really like what Balenciaga did like is so offensive to like people who like value family and like have those same values that like we loved them for. So like it's because of it's that. Yeah, yeah.

And I just want to, I would love to know why. That to me is like one of the great wonders of the world. Like what happened in the elevator with Beyonce and Solange? Why are they willing, well not they, honestly, it's really Kim. Like why is she so willing to die on this hill? And I know that she's a person who values like business and money and I'm sure they've offered her, but she's a billionaire now. So it would be like,

everything is pennies to her. So even if they're offering her $10 million, like that's really not a lot of money to her. I would love to know why. Is it out of this, you know, personal responsibility to your friend Demna? Like, I don't know. I would love to know. If that's your friend, like trust your faves and like tell us Demna didn't like, I know it looks a certain way, but Demna would never like Demna. But like, that's the problem is like, I think Demna would. Right. Right. But she's,

And she doesn't even say Demna would never. So, like, we're just left here being like, Demna wouldn't. And you're sitting with Demna. Like, okay, I'm out. Yeah. Yeah. She's also, like, I don't know. If I go too deep on the Kardashians, I feel like I've said this, like, a lot of times in the last couple of years. Like, it's boring. But, like, it's just so fascinating. Because when I think about, like, we actually just did a Patreon episode where we were going through our old podcast titles. And, like, literally there was a year where every single day we woke up, like, excited. Like, couldn't breathe until we talked about the Kardashians. Like, they...

And I still have that with like other things like Travis and Taylor. Like it's not that I've lost that energy. I've just lost that energy for them. And I think a lot of people have. And I think people did, you know, before us, like a lot of people that got over them. We were like always hanging on so tight. I just, I would love to see like a real, like a real expert on like popular culture and celebrity and to do like a full, like what went wrong?

And it's like not too late to just like change. Also, she's doing her acting. It's all like American Horror Story, which I don't watch and I don't understand like the need to like conquer seriously every single thing at the expense of like your sleep and like your- That's what Courtney was saying in those last couple of seasons that we started watching. And when she was saying it, she was like early to say and I'm like, no, she's just-

ambitious and like right and I thought the things that she was trying to do like where I understood like wanting to be a lawyer and then also starting Skims which is just like an extension of her but now like to go acting and like and she's doing all of these things and they're like if you if you had to give up one like in order to she's making this huge movie and they're like if

If you have to give up one of your projects, and think of everything she does. Skims, skin. - Lawyer. - Sky Ventures, lawyer. Mother. - Reality star. - Reality show. - Influencer. - Like a million things. Speaker, whatever. They were like, if you had to give up one thing so that you could do this movie, what would it be? And she was like, sleep. I'm sorry, I can't relate to that. I cannot.

So you know she already wakes up at 4 a.m. to go to the gym. So like seriously, you're not going to sleep? No. For what? Courtney saw something that like we couldn't see. And we all were like, oh, Fabissa and a jealous wench. And you know what? Like I completely see what she's talking about. It wasn't so much about greed. It's just like this obsession. And that's really what Courtney was saying. Like this obsession with doing everything and being the most and best to everyone and everything. Like why? Like you have everything in the world. You have such a beautiful family. Like enjoy it.

And she was at dinner with like the lifers and just saying how like every year she just wants to like conquer something new that she'd like, you know, a whole new space. That's how she feels going into acting. Like the same way she did SNL. Like she, like where she's such a novice and she wants to prove everyone wrong and like take this on. And like, it's, she's going to keep doing like this with a million other things. And it's like,

It's exhausting. Like, I don't, like, you could do that with, like, even hobbies. Yeah, gardening. That's what I was thinking. It's like, I actually like that. I feel that way in my personal life. Like, I want to, like, learn new things that would, like, benefit my life. That's what Martha says. You should really make it one of your goals to learn something new every day. And I feel like in the last few years, I mean, the amount that I've learned in the last few years, like, I wouldn't recognize myself. Like, some of the things that I say, if you had said that sentence to me, even a year ago, pargy loaves, I'd say, what? Right. What? What?

And I think that's a good thing to always be learning new things. But like... This is extreme. To what end? Yeah. Yeah. So justice for Kourtney in that sense. Well, she's definitely getting her justice because now the show... And there's so much of this prank stuff still, which you know that we don't like. Oh my God. The pranks. Like they...

And I loved the Todd Cranes and I loved the Art Vandele. Like those were two. But by the way, it's not even Scott pranking. That's the problem. They took it too far. Like they were so well received that they were like, let's make this a continual subplot for the next 10 years. And it's really dumb.

- Yeah, and then Chloe's on the other end where she won't leave her house and just wants to be a mom and be with the kids and loves her routine. And I think that's so nice and I think that's a lot of people would probably relate to that. But then they don't actually show us her in her routine. They just have her having conversations with people about how she's scared to leave the house and how the routine is important to her and how she likes to make Tru's lunches. But I'd love to see her make Tru's lunches. Show us the routine that she's so enmeshed in. - That's funny.

So that's what I saw. And that's how Jax sees it. We have a lot to get into today. So I hate to cut off this riveting conversation, but I feel like we should. If we're more in service of more riveting conversation. In service.

So now without further ado, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know. And the Fast Five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Amazon Live, the place where I stole a Le Creuset pen from. So for those of you who are living under a rock, Amazon Live, a shoppable video experience on Amazon where you can learn about the hottest products from influencers and creators like myself,

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you know, techniques they're using for their makeup or just like random questions if you have like gossip for Kyle Richards. It's actually quite brilliant. I love Amazon Live. I love hosting them. I've done a bunch. I do like fashion ones with Margo, beauty ones. I've done a ton of cooking ones with Ben. We actually did an Amazon Live where we made fried chicken sandwiches with mac and cheese. It was really, you know, very Rachel Ray of us, really fun. So make sure you're following all your favorite swirlies on Amazon Live. If you would like to follow me on Amazon Live, you can stream and shop my channel.

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Thank you, Code Turt. You're welcome. Our first story, some big news from this weekend. Jason Kelsey has found himself in a bit of a scandal. Not with me.

Here are the deets. So Jason Kelsey was at the Penn State Beaver game at Beaver Stadium. He attended the Ohio's Penn State football game on Saturday, November 2nd. As he was walking out of the stadium, people were trailing him, taking videos of him. And someone is heard saying, like taunting him. They said it twice. Like they said, hey, Kelsey, how does it feel? Your brother's a F-sler.

F slur dating Taylor Swift. He said it twice. And so at first we see a video where he hears that and then he takes the guy's phone and he smashes it to the ground and everyone's like, go Jason, Kelsey, you know, stand up for yourself and Taylor and Travis. And the queer community. Right. Then a few hours later, an alternate angle video emerged of the incident where after he slams the phone on the ground, he says, who's the F word slur now? Right.

And I wanna say, I saw a lot of dialogue and rhetoric thrown back and forth. People immediately were like, "Well, that's not cool." I saw so many gay people tweeting like, "I am okay with this. We give him a pass."

I'm so not, and not that I'm like anyone to like give a decree, but like my, like I was not offended. Like I literally, I loved the response. Like this kid was such a weasel. Like you have to watch his video. He's trailing him, repeating it, like trying really to get to Jason Kelsey. And I don't know

I don't know why Jason Kelsey like forgets that he's famous. I said this at the AeroStory, he literally walked to the yellow parking lot. Like he doesn't walk with security. He doesn't act like a famous person. So he's literally like walking the streets. Like he needs to start taking the underground tunnels that other celebrities take because like people, he is so famous. I feel like he doesn't understand like his real place in culture. Like what are you doing walking with this rat? Like why does this rat even have the opportunity to get close to you?

This kid's such a loser. I love that Jason Kelsey destroyed his personal property. And you know that this kid will not sue or... Because we don't know his name, right? He has the gift of being anonymous. I don't know what...

he hasn't been doxxed he should be like where is right if he goes to sue Jason Kelsey will know his name his employer his school will know that he uses language like this and it won't be good for him that is a really good point I did see like I've you know of course I saw like the people like back like cancel Jason Kelsey yeah yeah yeah but I did also see probably more than that I saw people like now we'll give this one a pass no yes no and then

No, and the F slur has like a really unique place in gay culture. Like they embrace it a lot. And of course it gets used as like a hateful rhetoric, like that little shit from Penn State, but they actually really, I think love and embrace the word. And it's become like a term of endearment a little bit. Um,

So the fact that like what for mostly I saw like people on social media like giving an allowance to Jason Kelsey like I loved it because I like he obviously wasn't using it in a hateful way. This guy was such a little shit. He needed to be punched in the face but obviously Jason Kelsey couldn't do that. So like this was the next best thing. I have I have really no issues. Like do I think Jason Kelsey is a homophobe? No. I have no issues. I think he was really standing up for Taylor his family and the community in general. Like I don't give a fuck.

Yeah, I do agree. And also it's a case of trust your faves. Like if you think Jason Kelsey has like bad intent that he used that word in like in a hateful way, then you obviously don't think highly of Jason Kelsey. But if you do think highly of Jason Kelsey, you'll give him the benefit of the doubt to say like that's not what he meant and he wasn't being hateful towards anyone other than that person. You are 100% right that this is another case where we should be trusting our faves.

Yeah, so I will trust in Jason Kelsey's intent. I'm assuming that he's going to address this. It became a huge story. Like, I'm assuming he's going to address it on his podcast. He'll probably apologize just because he feels like it's the right thing to do and he doesn't want, you know, any sort of like stain on his record. But I personally don't think that's necessary. Yeah, they'll definitely address it because they seem to address everything that happens, whether they go in deeper, just like, oh yeah, that happened. Yeah. He'll address it. Yeah, well, it'll be interesting to see what sort of

tone he takes, but I think that he'll handle it. Yeah. It's handled. But you know, they're so famous and because they're like athletes, they're like this other level of fame. Like they have their own cereal thing with like, they're really very like brand safe, right? Like they are like the Wheaties guys. Like they're, they are, but also, but like athletes actually typically aren't. I know. So they're in like a weird position a little bit where like,

You know, something like this, while I don't think it's had any implication on their business because there hasn't been, like, overwhelming backlash, this isn't something they normally find themselves in because they are, like, on cereal boxes. They're, like, America's speed hearts kind of. Yeah. They have to be a little protective. So I'm sure that he will do, like, a kind of a PC, like, just acknowledge and apologize. He'll make it right. He'll make it right for that reason. Yeah, athletes don't give a fuck most of the time. Like, they don't have to. They don't play these stupid internet games. Like...

Yeah, but I also feel like there's not a huge contingency of people who hate him, who no matter what he says, like won't forget. Like I think he's mostly loved. I mean, seriously, who hates Jason Kelsey? It's so true. He's like a national treasure. So-

And I think the people who might hate him like are irrelevant to his work. Like, I just don't know how you don't watch that video and like fucking hate like that kid. Oh my God. I only wish the worst for him. Like, what are you doing? He, and you really have to watch it. Like he says it multiple times. He's so taunting. He was so desperate, like trying to really provoke a reaction. And the fact that he got his phone broken, like serious, I can't really put into words how much joy that brings me. Like it was truly the definition of fuck around and find out, like get the fuck away from me, you little rat.

Always a good message. Always a good message. And you know, I know that celebrities are supposed to like rise above and like be better than the trolls. But like I love when they get down and dirty and like really give people a taste of their own medicine. This was a gorgeous, gorgeous example. I think this was him rising above though. A thousand percent. Like let's redefine what it means to rise above.

Let's redefine what it means to rise above. I agree. - Like why does rise above just mean do nothing and take it? What about teach this person a lesson and rise? - Right, rise and teach and learn and give. Yeah, I agree. I completely agree. - So it's really nice that he rose above the situation and handled it. - And taught this boy a lesson. I just like, what is going through, like obviously like his people who know him, like his classmates, like they know that it's him. So his name like might get out.

because he's like anonymous to us, but to his small irrelevant circle, he's not. And so one person, well, it takes this one person talking to the Daily Mail, you know? Yeah. So, because he hasn't, like he really should feel like the full repercussions of like the internet knowing you speak like that. Like we all know now, and that has implications on your personal life, your work life, your school life. Like I'm kind of, I'm kind of down. Yeah. So if one of his- He's also like recording himself. So it's like-

It's not like he thought he was saying it in secret. It's so true. But he's going to post it on like his private Snapchat with like his three friends being like, good one, bro. Good one. I can't imagine he's like very far in life with a mouth like that. Yeah. And a hate like that in his heart. I just need, I know there's like a Swifty who like takes Econ 101 with him and I need her to speak to the Daily Mail. We need names. Name them. Yeah. I fucking hate this kid. Yeah. Well, we'll see what happens with Jason, but I think he'll be okay. I think he'll be okay. Yeah.

Are you ready for our next story? I am. The girlies were out and about at the LACMA Art and Film Gala 2024. You know it's that time of year because those two events that we never understand always happen like that. LAC and LAR. Those two like galas where every famous person goes to and you have no idea what they're actually attending or raising money for. They happen like you know back to back. So I guess it's that time of year. So this was the LACMA Art and Film Gala which I

honored artist Simone Leigh and filmmaker Baz Luhrmann. So this is the one where they take pictures in front of like those lamps, right? Yes, at the L.A. County Museum of Art, which is different from the L.A. County Museum of Film, which is where they were last week.

So last week was Lac-a-Meth, and this week they're at Lac-a-Mah. Yes, and so I think the headline-making news was that Kim was there wearing a necklace, a cross necklace that she bought at auction from Princess Diana's estate. Right, when she bought the necklace, there was a lot of backlash because they were like, we don't want this trash with Princess Diana. I'm like, I didn't give a fuck. She has the money. She bought it. It's free country. Go cry about it. Like, seriously. Now, I did not like what she was wearing because...

I don't know, I feel like it's a dress we've seen her in a million times, like tits out for the boys, white shawl. Like it's just, I don't know, maybe I'm in like a little bit of like a hater era, but it's like, do something different, surprise us. Like we're plaid, I don't know, it was just like- Do a flip. You're telling me she hasn't worn this before? I was shocked. Now I know some of the, you know, Christian swirlies were like, also can you not take this big cross and put it between your breasts? Like it was a little, and you know what? I kind of feel that. Like if somebody wore a big Jewish star, like their nipples, like I would be like-

I don't know about that. A Jewess though. Cause she's actually like pretty religious. So if it was like a,

a Jewess who was firm in her Judaism. But like a religious Jewess would never wear their tits out. Okay, I guess because it's like, there's like modesty, but like someone who's like a big Jew. Advocate. Big Jew wearing a big Jewish star between her breasts. I actually, like, I would. You would like it? I don't know that I would like it, but I don't think I would dislike it. I don't know. I'm very protective and I don't like, and we're just desperate because there is no like real Jewish representation anywhere like positively. Okay, here's the, here. If Gal Gadot,

was wearing a big, like wearing this dress and a big Jewish. I would love it. I would love it. You're right. Yeah, yeah. Okay, okay. Thank you. And it was like Princess Diana's Jewish sister's Jewish jar. Yeah, wait, no, wait. It was like Elizabeth Taylor. She was Jewish. Okay, Gaga Dote at auction bought Elizabeth Taylor's like big Jewish jar and then wore it with like a plunging. I would be so happy. Okay, you're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. You're right. So not to say like you guys can't be offended, but I'm just saying, like, because you were saying you were going to offend. But I actually don't think so. That's all I'm saying. I know you're right. I would not be offended. But you guys, if you're one of us. I'm desperate.

Right. I'm so desperate. But the look in general, I was just like so underwhelmed by. And it reminded me of like, what did it remind me of? It was just like, it didn't remind me of anything. It was just like this fatigue. I'm like, I'm still doing this. Yeah. Especially she went to the other one without pants and now she's at this one without a shirt. Right.

It's so true. It's like, do something different. Like you have access to every designer, clothing, stylist, like do something crazy, you know? Yeah. Yeah. Well, besides this. Also at this event, people don't dress crazy. They actually dress like incredibly beautifully. Yeah. And not things that take, you know, an artist's gaze to appreciate. It's just like beautiful women in beautiful dresses. And,

I enjoy that too. Like Blake Lively was there looking- - She looks great. - Parchalicious. - Kaya Gerber was there looking Parchadefinitionlicious. - Parchalicious definition. Cara Delevingne was there.

Oh, I didn't see. Looking beautiful as well. And also Cara Delevingne is like, looks really well. And I'm really happy for her. Yeah. We like forget because she really bounced back very quickly. But there was like a brief period where it was clear that she was struggling with something. And she ended up taking time off, going to some sort of facility. And you know what? Ever since, like you're right. She really bounced back. She looks so healthy and so happy. And she looks great. I'm looking at pictures. She really does.

Laura Dern, how you Dern? Laura Dern was there. I love Laura Dern. Like, I'm sorry. She's so funny to me. Like,

Really? I dislike her. Yeah. She's like, I'll watch a movie if she's in it, you know? She's a really good actress. I like, but I said really, it sounds like I dislike her. I don't. Like, I'm like totally like neutral. Yeah. And she's just a part of that crew. Like that Reese Witherspoon Big Little Lies crew. Yeah. A lot of like random swirlies were at this event. Like pretty much anyone who's anyone, if you were in town, like hit up the LACMA.

Yeah, Charlie XCX, Troye Sivan, Andrew Garfield. Ellie Goulding, my queen. I love Aza Gonzalez. I feel like she didn't take off in the way that she should have, you know? She just got married, right? Oh, yeah. And Anna Kendrick was there in what could be one of the ugliest dresses I've ever seen be made. I just passed by her. I'm shocked. Hold on. It's like vomit green with a bow. Oh.

It is those things. Oh, Queen Beyonce's mom was there in a black suit promoting her new book. I mean, wouldn't you? Yeah. Anyway, Rachel Zoe was there. I feel like that's maybe the first time she stepped out like really publicly since she announced her divorce. She looked gorgeous. Oh, I love what she's wearing, like a gold gown. Really, Blake Lively's up there for she also looks great at that other event, Blackamuff.

Page six on my iPad isn't formatted correctly when they do these slideshows. And so everyone is like, you know, when you would like take a picture and like not oriented properly and just bring down the top and you get like disproportionate. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So that's what I'm looking at. But still, Kathy Hilton looks beautiful disproportionately. That's so funny. Yeah, but it was very well attended in terms of like A-listers. Like why? I don't get it. I mean...

I don't know. It's a fun. Oh, Victoria Treti, my girl, was there. Wait, do we have it as a story that Nina Dobrev got engaged? We did it last week. We did? Yeah. Are you sure? With Ben. With Ben.

right yeah yeah okay and the sneakers the cd cd sneakers yeah yeah yeah dc wow yeah okay no by the way like it was really hot in here on on halloween i apologize no worries are you ready for our next story yeah i guess we're moving past the lacrimith okay oh yeah yeah yeah i don't want to fall down a forbes creator hole yeah okay you're right you're right you're right we need to like pull ourselves out of it

We did the highlights, you know? Yeah, yeah, yeah. No, we did our part. It's not the Met Gala. Yeah. Though they try. No, it's giving like an attempt at a West Coast Met Gala, these events. That's such a good call. Yeah. Honestly, everyone looks nicer for these. Yeah, because there's no theme where people have to look stupid. Yeah. Our next story is actually some surprising news that Teddy Mellencamp-

has announced that she is filing for divorce from her husband, Edwin, after 13 years of marriage. Add it to the list of celebrities doing things that are actually shocking to me. Like I was, I follow her on Instagram. So I just like opened Instagram and it was right there. I was genuinely surprised. Just out of nowhere, she announced in an Instagram post after a great deal of care and consideration, I've made the difficult decision to file for divorce, not a separation, even though they've been like, as of two weeks ago, they were like spotted out. They went to an event, kissing, taking pictures,

I was surprised because, you know, people had a lot to say about Teddy Mellencamp's time on Beverly Hills. They really didn't like her. I didn't have like a real issue with her. And I actually thought she had a really strong marriage. Like, yeah, they also went through a lot. Like they're, they had a baby, um,

Some, but recently who had like health issues, Teddy herself had health issues. She's had like a million skin cancer scares. Like I always felt like they actually had a really strong marriage. Yeah. This is really surprising. And also page six notes one week ago, they were at a charity gala, like taking pictures, kissing on the lips.

So how to go from that to filed for divorce, it's giving like something happened. The streets said that, you know, he stepped out. You know, that's what they said. I have no proof, allegedly. That, it feels as though it's something like that. Like something happened overnight, can't get over it. Like there's no moving past this. Yeah. Now, it's obviously devastating. Yeah.

Of course. And I want to say that. Since leaving the show, Teddy Mellencamp has really tried hard to stay relevant within the Bravo universe and has done a very good job. She has a very popular podcast. She probably has one of the most successful Bravo housewife podcasts. Like, I don't even know who would be like second place. And, you know,

like divorce is really good for a podcast. So I'm happy. Like, I know she wants that, like not at the expense, obviously of her family. So I'm just saying like very small silver lining for her. Yeah. But I think even from her statement, like I don't think that she's going to share. I don't know. I think she will.

Usually I'm like, it's only a matter of time before. So like Brianna chicken fry, like we will know one day soon. And she said she's getting back to recording soon. She had a really restorative week back home. Oh, did she? I saw she like, they didn't record an episode of BFFs. Like she wasn't ready. Yeah. And she was like, she was not podcasting. She was taking time off. But then I saw this morning,

I saw that she had posted like, I'm getting back to podcasting. I'm ready. Like, I feel great going back to the city. Like, let's go. Oh my God. We need the tell all of all tell alls. Like I'll be disappointed. I feel like she's really gonna, like she knows that people are sad and I feel like she's going to feed us. I think she's going to feed us. Cause also like, and it is a totally different situation. They weren't married and they don't have kids. So like, I completely understand why Teddy like wouldn't share, even if she's been like wronged. And even if we would all galvanize around Teddy, like not at the expense of the way the children see their dad.

Yeah, you know, that's a thing, of course. And I don't have kids, so I don't really understand it. It's something that maybe I'll like be, you know, regretting. Like I'll disagree with myself in five years. Like I hate that. Like when women don't like drag their husbands. And I was just having that. Bless you. Excuse me. Because you know who I love who did it, who didn't give a fuck was Kelly Clarkson. She's like, he has a father, my kids. He's a dick. And you're going to know about it. Like.

I respect people's choices. I think we only know about some Kelly stuff because of the legal things. Right. I think she didn't tell us anything. Like he opened the door. I don't think she told us anything actually. Like we know what we had to know because it's filed and they were fighting over properties. No but in the music. Yeah but no to say it in the music is different. I changed it anyway. Then a sit down tell all. It's different. If you say it in the music it's art. No but I feel like she really wasn't shy about

Really villainizing him while also acknowledging that they had a beautiful marriage until they didn't. But like, I don't know these women, and it's always the women, like they protect the father of their children when they did horrible things. And like, maybe one day I'll understand it. I don't understand it. Like, seriously, you wrong me. I don't give a fuck who your daddy is. Like you're done, you know?

Like, it really bothers me. Maybe that's just like an immature, like, you know, thought of mine. No, I do understand why you would feel that way, but I also like... It's like Kim and Kanye. Like, it's admirable until it's really not. No, because I think like...

You have to really think like, what are you dragging him in the public for? Like at the end of the day for yourself and that's selfish. And I think ultimately it reflects poorly on you, but not in Kel. Not for, I don't consider Kelly Clarkson. Cause like I said, she didn't tell us anything. She just talked to every day and she didn't tell us anything. I really, I, for me, it wouldn't reflect poorly on that person for me.

I would say thank you. Like, I wanted to know. But for their kids. People who do bad things, like, deserve to get dragged for it. And, like, what, because you're a dad, like, you're protected from that? And I don't see men doing that for women ever. No, I understand, Turney. And you raise an interesting point, this counterpoint that I will consider. Okay.

But I do understand. And it's not even about, it's about putting your kid's private life into the world. And then they go to school and it's like that's their life. And everybody knows this garbage. Yeah. You're putting them in a tough spot. I get it. So, Teddy and Edwin. Oh, yeah. Tedwin. Really shocked. Do you think this at all moves the needle for her coming back to Beverly Hills? Like, I don't.

I don't. Beverly Hills is coming back. Did I make that up? Beverly Hills is coming back soon? Yeah.

I also feel like when you've cemented yourself as like a commentator on a show, like you can't be a castmate. That's like what Joan Rivers always said. Like she never got invited. She never got a seat at the table because she was always commenting on the table. I think she's in a better place now than she was when she was on the show and she should keep doing what she's doing. Yeah. They've got it worked out really nicely. Yeah. And Bravo like still keeps her in the fold. Like she goes to BravoCon. They were like the official podcast of BravoCon, their iHeartRadio. Like she's got a good thing going over there. Yeah. Yeah.

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I do think you have passion for this. It's our next story. And that is the long awaited lineup for the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. You know what? The Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade is like a cultural event that I personally have a lot of interest in. I know I'm unique in that. This is not the Forbes creator list. I don't think everybody cares as much as I do. But as a New Yorker who also like feels a weird, deep, like nostalgic connection to the parade, like growing up, like my favorite memories is waking up with you guys and like laying on the floor of the den and watching like I,

have such a crazy love for this parade. Like they could never make me hate it. Now the budget has like severely gone down. I know nobody cares. They get like the most talentless hacks to lip sync. I don't care. No, I know. And I do feel like in one's life, like there are times when the Macy's Day parade is important to you and times when it's not. And I do feel like until I became a parent, like it wasn't important to me in the last five to 10 years. However, now as a parent, like

First of all, we're awake and looking for something. It's a long day. Mama's cooking. I got to get the kids buzzing. And it's actually, even though the performers that I would love are midget,

are maybe not there. I don't see like Mimi Webb out there shaking that thing. - But Bluey is there. - But like the characters come through and it's really fun for them to see. There's just a lot of really great stuff. So I'm having a renaissance with the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade and so this lineup means a lot to me. - I also meant to tell you big thing that I did over the weekend is that I bought tickets to see "Wicked" on Thanksgiving Day weekend. I feel like, I thought they were all gonna be sold out. I did get a good time and a good location and a good seat, but it was definitely tough.

Yeah. I'm not messing around. Are you going to sing? It's going to be hard for me not to, but I really do want to hear like the vocals that are being served. So I personally will not be singing. And so much so, I actually might be like a little bit of a singing police. Like if somebody near me is like humming or something, I will be asking them to stop. Like it's annoying. I think people are going to sing. No? No. No. I...

No. They should, by the way, because they're also doing 3D versions. So, like, there should be three different viewings. Sing-along, 3D, and regular. I think it will also depend, like, what part of the country you live in. Yeah, and I just want to say, I am seeing the film on the Upper West Side where I feel like a lot of theater kids. It's by Lincoln Center. Like, I'm screwed. Yeah, I think...

Down here, I'll be in the clear. I think so too. I don't think there's going to be a lot of people with a singing voice that they want to shout from the rooftops, but I do think you're fucked. Yeah, no, I'm definitely fucked. I didn't even think about that.

I should have went go out to New Jersey to watch it yeah I don't know like what region of the city would I would be safe in I don't think the city is safe well on the one hand the city is not safe because of the theater kids and like the Broadway tie but on the other hand like city people like they all they don't do stuff like that they don't they don't fuck around so you might be safe but I don't think so because of the aforementioned Broadway ties yeah and like me being so close to Lincoln Center like you know that's where they lurk

In dark alleys. I think you're seriously fucked. Like that theater by me, you know, the one that my husband always wants to go to. Like no one is singing there. So true. No one is singing. Mark's safe. Anyways, Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade. Speaking of wicked, the telecast will be led by Idina Menzel.

- Alison Brie. - I don't know if you saw. - That she wasn't there. - Yeah, but like others were. - Yeah, and it's like, you could say, oh, maybe she wasn't there 'cause like she has stuff going on, like Idina things. - But she doesn't. - Well, she's at the Macy's Thanksgiving Day for Eid, so like she should have been there. - Although I did see a video of like Ariana and Cynthia being like sending a video to Idina, like we love and miss you. Like it appeared good, but it's weird. - Maybe they're fine with her, but something at Big Wicked is not ringing true to Idina. - Maybe.

Bishop Briggs and T-Pain. Who? Today hosts Savannah Guthrie, Hoda Kotb, and Al Roker will be on hand to present the celebration. Is this the last year that Hoda does this? Or is this like one of her, because she still has an NBC contract. I think this is outside of the Daily Show and she'll still be on hand for temple events. Be

Because honestly, like there is no today. There is no Thanksgiving Day Parade without Hoda, honestly. Yeah, and Al Roker, actually. I feel like for me, I associate him even more. I completely forgot to share that I walked past Al Roker the other day in the street. And?

He seemed to be doing well. I'm glad. Was he getting ready for the big day? Do you remember when he peed live? Like he didn't know his microphone was on and he was like peeing in the middle of. Do you remember that? No, I actually don't. That's one of my favorite Al Roker moments. He's a king. He is. Also joining the parade with special appearances are Jimmy Fallon and The Roots, Kylie Cantrell, Leah Salonga, Jonathan Bennett, Liza Colanzias, Tom Kenny, Gina Claire Mason, and members of the- Are you just making up these names? I've never heard of these people. Oh.

And members of the WNBA champions New York Liberty with their mascot, Ellie the Elephant. Okay, so...

So when you say lineup, are you talking about like for NBC? Like these are people who are coming through the broadcast? No, like coming down the parade way. You're kidding. Like who? I didn't. Nobody. Are any of these people singers? Who's singing? I don't know. Besides, I wouldn't know if they are singers. Besides the traditional high flying inflatables, marching bands and parade floats, the NBC telecast will also feature performing casts from Broadway shows like Death Becomes Her, Hell's Kitchen and The Outsiders, as well as the iconic Rockettes, of course.

Oh my God, I love the Rockettes. To me, New York at Christmas, what a sight. Like I fucking love the Rockettes. Whenever I see those bitches doing their thang, like I'm like, oh shit, it's Christmas time, bitch. Then there's gonna be some new character balloons for This Is Exciting.

Disney's Minnie Mouse. That's major. She's never been. She's never been, I guess. Then Extraordinary Nora and Elf on the Shelf. Okay. Gabby from DreamWorks Animation. I don't know her. Goku from Dragon Ball. Don't know. Spin Master and Nickelodeon's Marshall. And Spider-Man by Marvel, which Spidey is having a major moment in my house. And this show, Spidey and his amazing friends, I feel like people are really getting into it.

Go, let's go. Go, let's go. Go, let's go. Okay. Oh my God. Harry's going to lose his mind. That's actually like really me. I couldn't have asked for a better character to be introduced. It's clear I'm like not in tune with what the kids are up to. I never heard of half those people. And I think Marshall is from Paw Patrol. He's the Dalmatian firefighter. I know Paw Patrol. I'm happy. I'm happy. That's cool. That's cool. I'm going to watch and like maybe I'll,

be eating my words but like this sounds horrible yeah it does but I also think that the big names haven't been confirmed yet like there will be right there will be some country singers like there will be people that we know and I just think like those announcements will be forthcoming okay yeah I feel like Megan Maroney is going to do it because she has a new song it's like I want a cowboy for Christmas or something like that's cute yeah she's like would be perfect for it

Yeah, it's like an interesting level of fame because you have to be willing to like, you know, ditch your family and friends on Thanksgiving. And most celebrities like they it's not worth it for them. Well, yeah, it means that you won't be like in your hometown. But if you're local or in the tri-state area, like you get to go to the parade, your kids get a great seat. Andy Cohen always shows up, literally does 30 seconds of work for NBC so he can get a seat with his kids. So cute. And then you go home and have the big the big day. Turkey. Turkalicious. Yes.

Oh, you're not going to, I was going to say who's cooking, but you're away. I'm away. Yeah, I will not. This will be the first Thanksgiving in two years that I'm not, I guess I only cooked twice, but still it's like a really big deal. Yeah. And I'm not cooking so I can just relax, put my feet up. Finally. Finally. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? I am. It's a Martha news because I'm in my Martha era and she's like beefing with her neighbor, Ryan Reynolds.

I absolutely adore this exchange. Like as if I couldn't love, I'm on a Martha Stewart high, obviously anything she does, like I would be gassing up, but this in particular, I enjoyed. So a lot of things happening. Martha Stewart is saying that her neighbor, Ryan Reynolds is actually not funny in real life. She said on an episode of built rewards is November rent free game show with, uh,

Founder and Turdy's friend, Encore. Yeah, I know famous people. She said, you want to know something? He's not so funny in real life. No, he's not so funny. He's very serious, she said. And that just got so much news. Then Hugh Jackman chimed in. No, Ryan Reynolds chimed in first. Yes, yes, yes. Ryan Reynolds chimed in first.

Saying- - Somebody tweeted like a quote, like a direct quote of what Martha said. - And then he said, Ryan Reynolds said, "I disagree with her, but I tried that once. The woman is unexpectedly spry. She really closed the gap after a mile or so."

I couldn't tell you what this means. Me neither. And I feel like he's only proving Martha's point. She literally said he wasn't funny and he's obviously trying to be funny. And like, I actually don't get it. And then Hugh Jackman replied and he's always like sparring with Ryan Reynolds, even though they're best friends and they go see Taylor together. But he said, finally, someone says it about Ryan not being funny. Yeah. Um, and I, obviously he phoned it in cause he's like in bed with Sutton and it's like, okay. Right. Right. He got his like Spidey alert that someone's talking about Ryan Reynolds and he has to join in, but it's back to that. Uh,

if Hugh Jackman knew, like we've actually said it many times, like Martha's not the first, so just important to note. I know Martha Stewart doesn't give a fine fuck what these two have to say. She said what she said, she meant what she said, and she's probably right. - Do you not, I thought she was joking. Like that she was, it was giving like, you know, she has her own. - You know, she's so matter of fact. I think she was seriously being like, everyone says this guy's so funny. Like I literally live next to him, he's not funny. - Yeah.

- Did you see that somebody, I don't know who it was, but Martha's like obviously just doing a lot of press in this moment and somebody like went up to her with a microphone and was like, "What do you think about the trad wife phenomena?" And she was like, "Oh, I like that girl who lives on the ranch. "I like her." Martha's like, "I'm not crazy about the term trad wife, "but like I like what that girl does." - Oh my God, when your faves collide.

Yeah. They need to collab. They do need to collab. They were like, she was literally like, so matter of fact about it, she was like, I mean, she has this amazing life. These beautiful, she's like an amazing mom. She makes beautiful meals, beautiful cows, beautiful milking. Like it was, she knew a lot. Oh my God. I'm obsessed. Yeah. Oh my God. Martha needs like a network, like what she should have had when, before everything was ripped away from her. Yeah. She needs a network, like a Magnolia network store. And like to,

to be cultivating talent if she likes someone, like give them a show. Like we need a ballerina for our show. - I know but Martha's in this like later season of her life. Like she's done working so hard. She worked so hard for so many years and nobody fucking cared. - I agree. She's not gonna do it now, but that's like what we were robbed of. That's where Martha Stewart Omni-living, Omni-present was going. - Yeah. Such a bad name. What was it? Omni-media.

But it was, she was the first one to do it. So now it would be like Martha Stewart Networks or Martha Stewart Media. But she was coming up with a new name for like this concept that no one had. New industry. Yeah. And she came up with Omni Media and it wasn't the right word. And it is what it is. The stock was like MSLO. And every time they said it, I was like, what? Who dat? What the hell is Omni Media? Yeah.

And then also I was watching her cooking show and one thing she does that like I don't love is there's always people in the kitchen with her and she's like she has her like head of brand so she's like teaching to cook and it's like Martha just teach me please okay I don't need to like watch Kevin however like Kevin actually makes me laugh a little bit I hate to admit but in general I don't like that like get everyone else like just you and me.

In the kitchen. And that's the magic of Martha. And that's what people fell in love with. And even their names, like he's like the EVP of content at blah, blah, blah. It's like, Claudia, it's like another word like company media. I'm like, what is this? Wait, also, I was looking for your birthday. I was like, it's a little extra gift going to get you a Martha Stewart book. You know what they're selling for on Amazon? $300. Yeah. And you can't buy me a book for $300. No, and it wasn't even like an amazing condition. It was like beat the hell up. And people said if I go to the library, they probably have it.

Can you steal it from the library? Like I stole the liquor say? I could check it out. Yeah. And then by the way, if I fell in love with it and I was like, this book is changing my life. It's the best thing I've ever read. I would spend $300 on the one from Amazon. Okay. By the way, go to the library. I'm going to, I'm going to. So all's well that ends well at your local library where you could also vote, but not today. There's no early voting today. If you haven't voted yet, you vote tomorrow. Don't forget to do that. Swirlies. We'll see you tomorrow. And if you're making an election day chili in the crock pot, don't forget to start it early. Cause you're going to need a lot of hours to simmer.

She's not wrong. And that's all we got for you. That's our show, you guys. Thank you so much for listening to the Toast on Monday Morning Show where we deliver the fast-track stories you need to know every Monday through Friday. And YouTube, if you're watching us on YouTube, please don't forget to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere where podcasts can be found. So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Video, iRadiocast, Box, all the places where you'll be listening to podcasts. My notes are on the TV, 5-star, Viva, Viva, Viva, signing in. Wiggly, talented we are. Love ya. Bye.