The Truth About Sojourner: Wednesday, March 19th, 2025
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It's the toast. It's Jackson Claudius. It's your favorite show. The fast five things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly. It's the toast. I sound amazing. Welcome back to the toast and happy hump day. Don't forget to tell me someone you love. And speaking of somebody I love who is dressed like Kim Possible. You literally look like so possible today. Hey, Jackson. You think so?

I'm doing good. I know when I wear this color pants, like I have to be really careful. You do with your hair. Slope. Your complexion and your hair. And my little naked mole wrap broody.

porcelain skinned redheaded women need to be extremely cautious of the color camo i actually spoke about this in my patreon shopping vlog because i was showing off these pants and i got them also in a darker color and i was wearing a black top and i was like i can't wear a black top with this because i look like impossible but i felt i felt like i was marked safe because i was wearing a green and white polo kim yeah but it's more green like it's more kim possible oh we cranked up the kim

Yeah, while it's not a direct replica of Kim's outfit, it's definitely heavily inspired. Kim-coded. And maybe there's a little she-go in there. To be clear, you look amazing. It wasn't a negative compliment. The thing is, Kim Possible is kind of gargy-pargy. I just don't want to look like her. Name someone skinnier in better shape than Kim Possible. She was a full-time student, a full-time spy. She was booked busy. Doing good, a beacon of morality. Her community.

morality and she was constantly saving her community it's true like I should aspire to be like her I shouldn't run from it I don't know why I it's not a comparison that like I welcome even though she's really gorgeous and I should step into the light step into yourself yeah I guess because it's just like I don't know because there are other people that I'm like oh I would like to look like him but why not Kim

Why not Kim? She's snatched to the gods. She was always wearing a crop top. Yeah. No, like tiny waist. Body, body, yada, yada. Cute face. Literally. Waist where? Like seriously. No, it's so true. And Ron like would die for her. Oh my God. Ron would have died on the cross for Kim for sure. Obsessed beyond. Do you think Ron was at all inspired by Ron Weasley? Now that I'm thinking about it, like redheaded best friend sidekick.

I don't know. I think it might just be like a name that... Wait, was Ron also redhead? No, but he was blonde. There's definitely red in his roots. He definitely has the gene. Well, we have a great show today. It's hump day. It's Real Housewives of Beverly Hills day. I'm feeling, you know, I'm feeling different and new.

Because you got your massage in your. Because I got my. And I don't know how to. How do you pronounce this word? P-E-R-I-N-E-A-L. Perineal. I said perineal. You're asking the wrong person. How do you pronounce this? Yeah. Well, I thought you would know because you're very into like women's health. I am very into women's health. Thank you for noticing. However, like when it comes to the perineal, you'll have to ask Lauren Elizabeth. I think what you just said was right. Perineal.

Yeah, because your perineum, perineum, is like the area that you tear in when you give birth. And so it's very common to do perineal perineum.

massages to help stretch relax the muscles you know you start in the third trimester and so part of my physical therapy journey yesterday was the first session where I got one of those massages now I've heard of people doing them at home your partner can help you it's like really not a big deal but I you know I whipped out the big guns and she gave me one and then she like professional she gave me like graphics to show Ben so that you know we can do them at home twice a week and it was definitely a part of the the physical therapy journey I was worried about I can't lie um

And I think the word massage is not right because a massage implies like there's going to be enjoyment. A finger banging. No, it's not a finger banging at all. It's on the outside of the vagina. Like it's just like it's not at all a finger banging. But it's also not a massage. We had this conversation on the phone yesterday and I feel like I suffered through it once. Well, the listeners need to know. Not for lack of like interest or anything. It's just like.

Checking. Take your helmet off. At a certain point with childbirth and all that business. You're on your own. At a certain point. No, it's none of your business. Like for a while, you won't feel anything. You won't see anything. Just...

Close your eyes, Codgers, okay? Of course. No, what I'm preparing to do is more so for like after birth because, you know, and I only like recently found this out and I want to shout out to Ashley Darby because I feel like when she was talking about her journey on The Real Housewives of Potomac, she like ripped her whole vagina. So you can, so basically, and Ben was making me crack up. Like I'm seriously like, I'm feeling faint.

So your perineum is the strip of skin that is like between the bottom of your vagina and the top of your butthole. Like it's like what in a man we call the gooch. And so Ben was calling it a gooch the whole time and I was cracking up. After we were talking about that yesterday, I was parked next to a car that's license plate was gooch. Excuse me? I meant to take a picture, but there was a lot going on in the car and I had to leave. Gooch is such a crazy word. That's their license plate. That might be like their nickname.

Hey, Gooch. Who would want that as a nickname? I don't know. It's also known as the ABC, the ass ball connector. So for women, it's the vagina tissue connector. And that's where you rip, you tear if you tear in childbirth. Now, if the lucky women, you know, you only tear a little bit like you were telling me you tear a little bit, but it can go. Industry standard. Correct. It can go all the way. That's happened to Ashley Darby. Take it all the way.

Some people tear all the way that you don't even have a tissue out of vagina. You just have one big thing. Then they sew it up and recovery is very hard. So these perineal massages are just meant to get the muscles down there ready, stretch. And you're basically just applying pressure to the perineum. It wasn't a massage in the way that, you know, a typical massage would go. And it wasn't a finger banging because there was no inside work. It was just on the outside.

Okay, thank you for that. I would like to know since we- That's what we call it in PT, inner work. Since we do have this really big focus group of women, it's actually really great to pull them. Has anyone like done all of this, the physical therapy, the perineum, and still ripped badly? It's very, badly, yeah. Because it's very possible. Oh yeah, of course you're gonna rip. Like rippers gonna rip. It's a big baby, like a watermelon. I don't give a rip. It's a watermelon like coming out of a pea-sized hole, yeah. But like has anyone done everything right and still-

Like, does this actually help? Or is it placebo? And of course, yeah, it doesn't not help. But does it help? No, I think it helps. I think it helps. Let me know, please. Jackie's just like kind of, it's so not granola of you to like doubt my, I'm doing like very granola-like things. No, I know. My stretches, my breathing exercises. I would think that you would like it. I would, but at a certain point, like you're much-guring too much. Well, I'm not like putting things up my vagina. I'm just like, you know, putting pressure on the outside of it.

It's getting to a point of much green, which, you know, I'm anti much.

I am the muchker queen. Now muchker is a Yiddish word for like fussing with. To like fuss with something. So like the joke is that like I'm always muchkering with the kids and that's why they hate me because I'm always like giving them hugs and kisses and they just want to like run free. When you muchker with something too much, it's like, oh, your makeup looks good, but you're muchkering. Stop putting things on. Yeah, like say I did my hair and I just like kept fixing it and muchkering with it instead of just like leaving it. It's such a good Yiddish word. And they're really, I know like fussing with is probably the closest English equivalent, but it doesn't slay in the same way. It's true. It's true.

So what Jackie's saying is like, you know, my vagina is in a very unique state right now. Let's not muchker with it. Yeah, let's not muchker more than needs muchkering. More than that's already been muchkered. And like you go to the doctor, they muchker. They muchker at the doctor. They are testing the limits of muchkering. Right, right. And that's that's a kind of the acceptable confines of muchkering. So I wouldn't add to your load.

Yeah. And it is a load bearing vagina right now. So that's all it is. I'm anti much. I support you though. And your homeopathic remedies. Yeah. Definitely Ben's influence. You know, he loves to hear about what goes on in physical therapy.

And I was telling my physical therapist, she's like, well, a lot of people have their spouses and partners do it. Is that something you think your partner would be comfortable with? I'm like, oh, you've never met my partner. He's going to be so excited. Like he loves, I was telling her that he's like central medicine. He's talking about it on his podcast. Oh, speaking of, I don't want to blow up the good guy spot, but like they're going to do something like really crazy. What? It might be like, you know what it is. They have an episode coming out. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

He teased it on this episode and texted me the name. So like people. Oh, okay. And it comes out next week. And I don't want to be annoying, like special project. It's kind of like the biggest thing the good guys have ever done. I want to say it might be one of the biggest things ever done on a podcast. I'm being dead serious. Like I know that sounds so crazy, but you'll find out in a few days, you guys. And I just like, because me and Ben were talking about it this morning. I can't get over it. Yeah. But you know, don't want to.

I don't overhype it. We don't want to dangle it in front of you. Yeah, it is annoying. They're doing like a secret project. And that's really nice of you to hype it up for them. It's, unfortunately, it's like a natural hype. I'm not like promoting, you know? That's even worse. I know. I hate when the good guys like do good stuff. They do a lot of good. They do a lot of good for their community. They should start a foundation like called The Good Guys.

They should. It just feels like a natural extension of their brand. The running joke on the good guys is that because they film by Coast Silly, Josh is in LA, Ben is in New York and they film remotely. They have to do like a significant lead time. So I think they're pretty much running like a week or two behind, you know, the episodes that's coming out this week was recorded two weeks ago. And so the running joke is like, if you want to hear about the Oscars, like you'll hear it two weeks after. So Ben, me and Ben have been talking a lot about this. He told that joke on the show.

Well, the Tracy Morgan throwing up story is like kind of Ben's Roman Empire. Like he's the biggest Knicks fan. And he was like, yeah, we talked about it to the good guys today. Can't wait for everyone to hear it in two weeks. Like when Tracy's fully recovered out of the hospital. Yeah. And then you bring him back up. And that's kind of why we will always be better than the good guys. Oh, yeah. We don't let our turnaround time be any quicker. Like it literally couldn't literally couldn't. Before I finish this sentence, the episode will be up. It's so true.

It's Sojourner's Truth. You are Sojourner's Truth. I am. And you are Cojourner's Truth. And I want to say something about Sojourner, the woman. Do you know her? I have no idea who that is. I think it's time for a little history. No, I kind of like not knowing, but is she a Native American? I think so. And what is her truth?

I think it's just her last name. Okay, no. Sojourner Truth. Oh, you're right. It's her last name. Yeah. She was an American abolitionist, an activist for African American civil rights, women's rights, and alcohol temperance. She died in 1883. That definitely feels more contemporary than I had thought.

Oh, also, like I thought she was Native American, not African. No, she was born into slavery, but escaped with her infant daughter to freedom in 1826. Honestly, queenie behavior, and you should be proud to be so generous. You know, now I feel like when we like say it like as a joke, like it's not right. Yes, but I also feel like we're bringing her back in...

Like she might be forgotten. To relevance. But like we have a huge platform and I think people should know the name and not only know the name Sojourner's Truth. Because we knew the name. I didn't know the story. But know what she's about. No more confusion around Sojourner. Queen, okay. I can't believe Truth was her last name. Oh, that part I knew. I thought maybe she wrote a book called Sojourner. It's because I make it possessive. Memoirs of a Sojourner's Truth. Because we keep saying Sojourner's Truth when her name is. Yeah, we added a possessive apostrophe. Her name is Sojourner.

Sojourner truth. Yeah. And what is she famous for? She's famous for her powerful advocacy for both abolition and women's rights. She delivered a famous speech called, Ain't I a Woman at the Women's Rights Convention in 1851. Okay. Sounds like Queenie of the Week. And then there's like rumors about her that she had 13 children, but she's known to have had five. And what if she did? And what if she did? Even more so Queenie, but then she...

Turns out she has five. So that's just like not the rumor mill, like a blaze with things about Sojourner. They're lying on Miss Truth. I love that. Yeah. So that's your little Herstory lesson for the day. I actually loved learning that. Thank you so much. I did too. And you know, if nothing else major happens, like nominee for Queenie of the Week. One thousand percent. I already I was already like making a note of it. I actually have my Queenie of the Week brewing. And, you know, if nothing else happens, she shall win.

Okay, well hopefully it's a quiet rest of the week. Hopefully, but you never know.

We do have the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap. I actually thought it was an excellent episode, like ripe for recapping. Lots of interesting dynamics shifting. Yeah, and I watched Watch What Happens Live. Leslie Bibb was on from White Lotus with Garcelle. Did you watch? Yeah. I saw like all the viral moments via clips. And when she said, who are you, Dorit? Because she asked a very valid question. When Garcelle said that to Leslie Bibb, I was like, oh my God. We're actually getting along because they were both on the WB together. They knew each other from back in the day of being actresses. Yeah, but then they were like,

beefing about the drama. Like Leslie Bibb was to read mouthpiece. Yeah. Very anti-Sutton. And then Garcelle is Garcelle. So it was like so funny to watch him argue about the drama. And he was like not happy last night. He was like really in a very tense and like just kept talking over them like when they were like kind of

Like he just like kept putting his foot down. Early on in the episode, Leslie been cursed. And I do feel like that's a huge trigger for him because he gets mad that they have to like bleep it. I know, but it's not his job to bleep it, first of all. Second of all, a lot of Watched Happens Live these days are not even recorded live. Like it's possible that this was recorded at noon. So like to bleep it out is so not a big deal. Did he get fined or something? Like why does he get so mad? And she said it, it was like in a way, she was answering questions. She was like being dramatic. So it was like a big reaction. So it was like funny. Yeah.

And he just like his whole mood changed coaches. Wow. Really? Yeah.

So the only problem with that show is that it's really predicated on Andy's mood. And you can tell some nights and I read it in his book. So then it really made me super aware of it. Like some, and I don't think he does it so much anymore, but he was talking about this time in his life where he would, you know, smoke a lot of pot or drink a lot before the show. And so you could always tell his mood was like shifting if he was high, if he was sober, if he was not. And then he was doing dry January and he was in a bad mood every night. So his mood is so important to like the tenor of the show. And he's kind of like a diva. And so Andy,

I mean, everyone has bad days, but you have to kind of pretend. Yeah, he was like not vibing with them. And just when they were like having like a girly moment, he would just be like on to the next reading the teleprompter. Like really angry spice. Yeah, that was that's.

I feel like that's really unlike him with a non Bravo person. I feel like with the Bravo guests, he can like he's the boss, like he can do whatever he wants. But with Leslie Bibb, who's like this really legit actress and who's also having a huge moment because of White Lotus, you would think he would, you know, put his best foot forward. Yeah. And he had said he started watching White Lotus the night before he had just started watching the season. So like maybe he was just not like fully in like obsessed yet. It was just like, oh, this random actress.

But I don't think so. No, and she's not a random actress. No, she's not. And her husband, and he was asking about the husband's monologue. Oh, Leslie Bibb said something that like I'm genuinely asking a question. Like I'm not being facetious because she was talking about her husband's monologue. That's gone viral, the lady boy and like the sobriety and celibacy. And she said how the monologue was so brilliant. And she said it really like captures what this season is about. Someone please explain.

I'm not someone. Like. I thought we were just having fun. I thought it was like. Yeah. I thought it was like. Just an amazing story. This man. Like a funny thing. Like a funny thing. And how.

How is that what this season is about? I'm genuinely- Maybe we have to wait and see. I'm asking. I'm saying I don't- I'm raising my hand. Teacher, like, I don't understand. Can you explain it again? Please. Maybe somebody can stand up in the comments. That's what I'm really asking. Like, I'm genuinely, not facetiously. Please. How is that what this season is about?

The rumors are always swirling about Andy, like when the day comes that he'll step down. And I feel like every like, you know, year or two, there's like, oh, it's happening. He's stepping down. And I saw like a bunch of clips. Heather McDonald was talking about it, that she's heard rumors now again that he's stepping down and who's going to take over, yada, yada. And while I don't know that this time is going to be the time, there will be that time, right? And what does that look like?

I feel like it doesn't look like Andy Cohen again. I feel like one, nobody ever makes a choice. Oh, like the second coming. Yeah. I think that they might branch off of the role into different pieces. Like someone does reunions. Someone does watch what happens live. I think they have a lot of different people because no one ever just makes a hard choice. Like this is the next Andy Cohen deal with it.

And Andy, like say what you want about him. He is kind of a once in a generation kind of brain. Like you can't be everything. Nobody can do like the best reunions, the best watch drop inside, the best Bravo con. You can't really, it's he created Bravo. That's why he can do all those things. But an average person couldn't. Yeah. And maybe it's someone different for housewives reunions versus Southern charm. And maybe it should be that because he's not as equally invested in all shows. And then we can have someone who's equally invested in all shows. But I think that they'll splinter off.

The role. The responsibilities. I do. That's interesting. I would like if they didn't. I would like to have like someone that we could all be excited about. Yeah. But that's just not what's typically done. And I think as that person, you get pretty spread thin. So maybe it's for the best. Yes.

And maybe that's what we were seeing last night reflected in Andy's mood. He was just feeling a little. I think that's what we see every day reflected in Andy's mood in every reunion. Like he's such a curmudgeon. He is a curmudgeon. But the thing is, is that Watched Robbins Live is like not live anymore. I think once a week it's actually live. So the tapings are all like that day or that afternoon and they're all

like according to Andy's schedule. So it's very accommodating for him. I don't know why he does radio Andy. So he has this very busy schedule. And I think all these different parts of his life, they accommodate him and his kind of crazy timeline. And so I don't know that the mood is an excuse anymore. Like we've, we've accommodated. No. And the moon's like not an excuse. No, I like midnight. You're doing a show every 30 minutes. Now you have kids at home. Like I understand maybe some nights you're going to be in a bad mood. Yeah. But now it's like,

It's noon. I don't know. Like the past couple of times people have invited me to come to Watch What Happens Live with them, it's like literally 12 o'clock. Yeah. I'm like, okay, so it's Watch What Happens. I actually feel like it might be harder to get into the energy then. Yes, that's true because it's not like nighttime cocktail. Actually, no, it was live last night. They were doing polls. Yeah, so when they do polls, you know that it's live. Okay, okay. There you go.

There you go. Well, we'll get into the TV recap at the end of the show. How are the stories? The stories are interesting and varied. We have a lot to chew on today. Interesting and varied. I forgot the most important podcast equipment, my fan. Just give me two seconds. I was charging it. And in those two seconds, I will let you know that it is time for the Fast Five stories that you need to know. I'm back. Oh my God. This little fan from Amazon is the best thing that's ever happened to me and the most important part of my day.

The most important part of your day. Is that what you said? Mm hmm. OK, well, I'm happy for you. No, there's like I'm sitting in this state of the art podcast studio with the finest equipment money can buy. And the only thing that's truly irreplaceable is this fan from Amazon. That's beautiful. Yeah. Well, the fast five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Robin Hood. If if I may. Please may. With Robin Hood Gold, you can now enjoy the VIP treatment receiving a three percent IRA match on retirement contributions. The

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They're doing the Lord's work over there. Thank you, row.co slash toast slash turd. You're welcome, Joe. Our first story, there's a podcast clip that's kind of going viral that we need to discuss because Tina Fey is admitting that she judges rich people who have side hustles. So Tina Fey went on Amy Poehler's podcast called Good Hang with Amy Poehler.

She revealed... Which is a new podcast. We didn't welcome Amy to the space yet. Welcome to the space. She seems like a no-brainer for the space. She seems like a no-brainer. She has real personality. She's funny. She has real fans. She has a lot of famous... She has real fans. Like, people... And she doesn't do a lot. So when she does, like, people pay attention. Yeah. And she has a lot of famous friends. Tina Fey being one of her first guests. And the other one was... She launched two episodes, like, with the trailer. Which I like also. I hate when people announce a podcast and then, like, wait a month. Yeah, classic. Or a year. She announced a podcast...

Yeah, right. Keeping up with sports. She announced the podcast and then released two premium episodes with Tina Fey and Martin Short. Oh, cute. Okay. So like she's putting in the work. She's got video up. She's doing it right. Okay. So then they had a conversation because Amy started asking Tina, like, why haven't you come out with your own glasses? Because I, you know, her glasses are so iconic. That's funny. And she said, I have a problem with rich people having a side hustle. She said, if you already have like $200 million, I judge it. Uh,

So they started talking about like examples because she was saying like because Amy was like like a podcast. She was like no because like we're working but like if you just come out with a brand of and it was like rosé wine. Yeah, I judge it like, you know actresses people with this much money like don't need to be doing these like random other projects. So this is started a lot of discourse most of it like really positive about Tina because like about Tina Grady and she's not going to slap her name on anything, but

When I watched this clip And then I saw a longer clip That like made it Make a little more sense But at first When I watched this clip First of all I couldn't understand Like who she's What she's saying Like who she's talking about What kind of brand Because Amy like never Also let her finish her sentence Like she threw in Rosé She threw in a podcast So To me Like she was talking About the Kardashians Right No to me no To me she's talking About Cameron Diaz And her wine brand She's talking about Jessica Biel And her Kinder Light Which by the way I love So like Mmhmm

Maybe she as an actress didn't need to start a clean Pedialyte, but like we needed a clean Pedialyte. So thanks, Jessica Biel. So she's talking about Jennifer Gardner once upon a farm because she talks about the actress with the children's medication. So, of course, yes, she did. Who has children's children's parents and who has wine? Like to me, Cameron Diaz, Avaline is who she's talking about. OK, and people were like gagging over this clip. Like, yes, relatable, Tina, like not greedy. Yeah.

I personally found it to be like such hater energy because I don't have a problem with celebrities who starts brands because actually the thing I like about it is that you can be the most famous, beautiful woman in the world and JLo beauty flops. Like it's kind of the great equalizer. And some people who are like not even huge celebrities have huge companies, Olivia Munn being an investor in Poppy. I actually like it. And I felt like the clip was so hatery. And like, while Tina Fey doesn't do that,

She doesn't not step out of what she got famous for, which was comedy acting. She writes, she produces, she did Broadway. She's the face of a capital one credit card. Like she does other things now they're all with, and she, she sees it more as well. Yeah, we're working like Amy and her podcast is working. So like when they do it, it's okay. As opposed to just like licensing and putting your name on something. I would say like, if she's writing, producing, like that's all in the same bucket of like her creative, whatever. Yeah.

The Capital One commercials are interesting if we're not just here for a money grab. She wrote a book. I'm saying she's done things and they're all connected. But Jennifer Garner is a mom, so that's connected. You can connect to anything. I think that the distinction that she's making is so, so slim because writing a book technically doesn't fall into this category. When she was saying to Amy, where's the line for you? It's such a small... Okay, so you're saying there's a box of things that Amy can't do.

Right. Okay. And some people have done things outside in the box of things that they, you don't think that they should do like, okay. Yeah. I don't know. And it felt like not to sound just like Taylor Swift, but it sounded like all the people she was like referencing and referring to like are mostly women. Right. Cause this is like kind of a girl. I don't know. It's also like George Clooney.

Okay. Okay. Fair, fair, fair. Um, because you know, Taylor Swift did say about Tina and Amy, there's a special place in hell for women who don't support other women. She was talking about Tina and Amy. Um,

I don't know. I like people were gagging over the clip. First of all, I didn't think it was that like a revolution. Like why did this clip go viral? I don't know. It wasn't like a hot take or a good call. I saw it like organically on reels. And then I, and I watched and I was like, I don't understand what they're saying. Cause neither of them have finished a sentence. And then I kept seeing it like being reshared and like people with their takes on it. And I think most people were congratulating teeny Tina for teeny for this thing, because it's like, it's,

Anti, you know, green capitalist. And then also Amy Poehler saying, well, Gen Z is like, no, you should have a million hustles. And I just don't think that's what Gen Z is saying either. I don't think so either. Like Gen Z is all Luigi'd. I think it's multi-generational to like diversify your revenue streams, like to have multiple incomes. That's just like good business. And I think like any actress would or any like any of the people that you know,

she's talking about like, yeah, they want to make money, but it's also that like, as a woman, you have a certain amount of time to like book certain roles. So to set yourself up nicely, that Jennifer Gardner does not have to work anymore in acting. If she does not want to. And if she can't, she's not probably getting offered roles like she used to when she was 25. So to have a successful company that you can work on and provide for your family. Like, that's great. I don't like, I felt,

like this was so hatery and everybody like slurping it up like yes Tina give me more like I didn't think it was super funny or a creative call or even like a hot take it was just like what no and I think like the group of people that she's talking about there are so many people where it's like confusing like are you talking about this person or that person right and she was making a very specific distinction I think she needed to cite some examples

A thousand percent. Yeah, because now we're just like thinking about everyone. But I do think other people like you can make the case why this is what's right for like Jessica Alba on this company. Really? You're going to say that she shouldn't have done that. Right. And to be clear, there are celebrities who like slap their names on like pre-existing brands that they clearly have no interest in. But you know what? The market really like makes or breaks you. So the successful ones, like when you think of the biggest like road beauty, like that's. Fenty Beauty. She shouldn't have done it.

Right. Like, and yes, she was a singer and now she does makeup. Like, so who gives a fuck? Rare Beauty, another billion dollar company. And that's a real slap on Rare Beauty. Oh, you think Selena's like not super invested. You think she like put her name on it? Yeah, I think it's like, I think, I don't think she does like a lot of the heavy lifting. I also don't think Selena Gomez like even do her own makeup. Right. No, when I think of like, when I think of,

Selena Gomez, like before Rare Beauty, like I didn't think makeup, but like with Rihanna, she was always going viral for her looks. For Hailey Bieber, she's always going viral for her skin and like her glow. And she coined the glazed donut term in her Vogue thing. So yeah, like makeup was kind of like a random thing, but they've done a good job of like making the brand very Selena coded. Yeah. Yeah. They do a great job. Yeah. But sometimes like just being famous and pretty. R.E.M. Beauty. R.E.M. Beauty.

I'm going to say it's not enough. It's not enough. So just because that's the most famous, literally the most famous person in the world. It's not even about your level of celebrity. It's just about how it's done. And some people do it right. And some people just slap it on. And so, you know what? Like to Tina's point, like, yeah, it's annoying, but you know what? It's not successful. So that's it takes care of itself. Yeah. Yeah. So I don't know. Interesting convo, though. Yeah. Yeah.

Next, Gwyneth Paltrow is on the cover of Vanity Fair making a lot of news, a lot of news making tidbits. She is talking about her relationship with Brad Pitt. She's talking about working with Timothee Chalamet and her take on intimacy coordinators nowadays. And she talked about Glea.

Oh, I missed that one. No, she did like a video series where they make you watch old stuff you've been in and she just talked about how it was like the most amazing experience. I mean, she met her husband. It's crazy how three of the castmates are dead, but she met her husband. Right, so...

What's it? Four, three funerals and a wedding. Correct. She talked about having an intimacy coordinator in her lots of sex scenes with Timothy Chalamet. She spoke to Vanity Fair as part of her new cover story and pull back the curtain a bit on her big return to acting later this year in Josh Safdie's Marty Supreme. I can't think of that guy without thinking about Julia Fox. Uncut Gems. Yeah, yeah, yeah. So, yeah.

The A20 film stars Timothy as a ping pong protege competing over- A20? A24. Yeah, okay. I was like, they rebranded? Did I say A20? Yeah. Are you sure? Roll the tapes. I can't wait to watch. That's my favorite. It's hard to not stop recording and go watch.

she revealed for the first time she is starring as the wife of a rival professional who falls into bed with Chalamet. Interesting movie. There were a couple of like paparazzi pictures of these two going viral. They're dressed like from the 20s. They totally like took this block in New York City and made it look like

Like, I don't know what time period it's supposed to be from, but like from 50 years ago, it was really cool. And then Gwyneth and Marty and Marty, what's his name? Timmy are making out. And these pictures went so viral and interesting to know that that's what the movie's about. So she said, I mean, we have a lot of sex in this movie. There's a lot, a lot. Filming sex scenes with Timothy introduced her to an intimacy coordinator for the first time, although she didn't appear to need one after decades in Hollywood. She said, quote, there's now something called an intimacy coordinator, which I did not know existed.

She noted that when the intimacy coordinator asked her if she'd be comfortable with a particular move during the filming of an intimate scene, she was like, girl, I'm from the era where you get naked, you get in bed, the camera's on. We said, I think we're good. You can step back a little bit.

She said, I don't know how it is for kids who are starting out if someone is like, okay, and then he's going to put his hand here. I would feel as an artist very stifled by that. She joked that she cut right to the chase before filming sex scenes with Timothy. She was like, okay, great. I'm 109 years old. You're 14. Yeah.

I'm sorry. She's so funny. She's so funny. And she's so real for this. I think she definitely like represents a time in Hollywood where like this wasn't a thing. It's an intimacy coordinator is very like new age woke type of thing. And I think that they're good, especially for like young starters in Hollywood. What Gwyneth is saying is like, not me, bitch. Like I've been around the block a hundred times. Like I'm good. You could step back. It's actually more awkward to have someone there like

Yes, especially because she's so much more seasoned and older than him that like what power dynamic is at play, right? Like he's this young hot heart throb. She's this like seasoned veteran Hollywood actress. Like they're very professional. Certain movies need an intimacy coordinator and this is not one of them. Yeah, but I think it's the law now, right?

Right? It is. And I don't know why at first I found it shocking that she had never been on a set with one. But then also when I think of her breadth of work, she doesn't do a lot of sexy. Like I don't think we've ever seen her naked. She doesn't do nudity. Right? I can't remember. But even if she did, like maybe she just hasn't done it in the last five years.

10 years and she hasn't been doing as much acting recently as she used to do. So back in her heyday, there was no coordinator. Right. So it's just funny. She looked insanely gorgeous. Like when, when it speaks, like you listen, she doesn't do a lot of press.

You know, she does always make news because everything she does is very interesting to people. But she doesn't like talk for the sake of talking. So when she is talking, like you better listen. She's going to say something funny or interesting. No, and everyone takes everything she says out of context. I saw what she said about Meghan Markle's journey into wellness and-

what'd she say? So she was saying like, basically everyone deserves a chance. Like go for it, girl. Like everyone deserves at least one chance to try something new. And it's kind of like what we just said about Tina and Amy, like try it. And if the market will determine whether it's, and like how you like your space for everyone, like she wasn't raised like that. Like, right. That's what she said about Courtney to other women as a threat. Like, and the way that the headlines like spun, what she said, like,

It was so not what she said. That must be so annoying. That's why she doesn't do any press. Cause like everything conscious uncoupling. Yeah. I think she completely ignores. Me too. Those sorts of like the derivative headlines off of things that she said, I would love to find the headline.

Because it was just like that. So not what she said. So not what she said. Well, I remember when she was on the episode of Kardashians and she was asked about poosh. It was very similar sentiment to what you just said. Like she really doesn't see. And it's easy to not see people as a threat when you were the first to do it. You're the biggest to do it. You're a billion dollar company. Like nobody has actually started a celebrity wellness brand that has made an impact or a dent in Goop's, you know, bottom line. Yeah.

So yeah, sure, Megan. Like, come. Yeah. No, and she's right. Like, there is room for every... Like, it's a huge space. Yeah. So... She's definitely, I think... And when I met her for the first time, that was my takeaway, too. She's one of the most misunderstood people. Yeah. And so when everything you say gets taken out of context, like, I wouldn't be sitting down to do interviews either. Yeah, exactly. But then I think she also doesn't care. So it's like, here, this is what I think. And it's so when...

It's so unfortunate. She has such a fabulous personality. People don't really know that about her because they see her as like vagina candles. You know, she's a billionaire. She's a nepo baby. She's maybe like a little unattainable on the surface. But every time she sits down for an interview and she's like Kiki, she's so funny and real. And it's sad that people don't see that side of her. Yeah. And this movie looks good, by the way. It's called. It does. Marty Supreme. Yeah. Yeah. It's back to the future. I'm so confused. Yeah.

Okay, because it doesn't sound like the premise that you had read earlier, which sounded fabulous. I look forward to the red carpet and award show appearances where Kylie and Gwyneth are at the same table. I had a similar thought and I completely agree. Like kind of what Kylie had to do with that girl from Monica Barbara. Yeah, who played the singer in the movie. You know what I'm talking about? Yeah, she's with Andrew Garfield now.

I am looking forward to the table at the Golden Globes. Gwyneth, Brad, Kylie and Timothy. And then maybe Brad and his next project, like a Ryan Murphy that needs Kylie. Kind of how Kim has Ryan Murphy. Yeah, it's so true. And also I wonder who else is in the movie because like there's probably at least two other main characters like Marty's wife. Right, supplemental. Let me just pull that up. I wanted to write it on my list of things to look forward to. What's that? Yeah, it does sound good. But I can't find my pen. Oh, Tyler, the creator and Fran Drescher.

What? Oh my God. And not, well, you know that that movie was running like a well-oiled machine because Fran Drescher is the president of SAG-AFTRA. What? And a bunch of names I don't recognize. And then Kevin O'Leary. Oh my, this movie sounds amazing. Oh my God, this movie sounds amazing. Yeah, it does. But you just know Fran Drescher like heard Gwyneth's statements about an intimacy coordinator and like died because this is Fran's livelihood. She's the president of SAG. Yeah, but I feel like Fran can,

recognize like there can be flexibility in the every because we're working with humans here and everybody's different and people have different needs so it seems very understanding of everybody as long as there's a person on set even if she's dismissed to the corner Fran did her job right checked a box like sag doesn't want to get sued yeah exactly oh you know they had that set running like a well-oiled machine Sandra Bernhard classic classic

okay and those are all the names that we recognize so kylie and kevin i love it and gwyneth kylie and gwyneth and timmy oh my i know you want to make that the title no the title i already had wait shit it was at the beginning of something about much growing oh cute much growing with kylie and gwenna much growing with sojourner truth sojourner truth so much growing we'll figure it out

for our next story whatever three yep yeah a little bit a lot of it ako taco because laria baldwin is snapping at alec baldwin on the red carpet telling me can i just ask you a question is sex lives of college girls a story no oh my god i've been like waiting to talk about it news that's canceled or that's yeah max well no it's canceled and now like amy not amy

Mindy is like shopping it around. But I thought it was such a big deal. One, because I was just talking about it. And two, like there was a time where that was seriously like the first season of that show is the best television ever made. The second season was fine. The third was really bad. I feel like Mindy Kaling has never made anything that's gotten canceled. Like everything she's ever made anything that hasn't succeeded. Well, all good things come to an end. And it was three or four seasons total. Three. Okay. That's like a little short. Like one more. I know. But yeah.

I don't, yeah, nothing lasts forever, even though it's only three years, not even close. But what can you do? College is only four years, so it was going to end. Well, that's true. But they're shopping it around, people being like, Hulu, pick it up.

No, like I agree the show is bad. Like it should be canceled. It's just really crazy because you're not used to something. It's weird when like other people recognize that something is bad because they just prop up bad shit all the time. No, and with all the streaming services, it's not like there's limited amounts of slots. Like cable things used to get canceled because there was X amount of shows and X amount of slots. You can have a million pieces of shit. Like nothing gets canceled anymore. I would imagine it's not like canceled because it's bad because like they'll go on with a bad show forever. I feel like maybe other people wanted to move on too and it was like, okay, maybe it's time to move on.

People have other things going on. But they are shopping it around. Like they want the show to continue. Oh, that's so weird. And like Mindy Kaling did like a post like Blackheart so sad. Like it wasn't their choice. So like literally no one must have watched it except for you.

yeah and the people that did watch it so bad it was like people didn't really the viewership had to be so bad yeah right right i guess the difference between hbo and like the rest of the streamers is that hbo also max excuse me puts their shows also on their cable network so like there isn't unlimited because they also canceled somebody somewhere one of my favorite shows so they're not unlimited like inventory like netflix and hulu they still have to abide by the old yeah the old tv guide yeah

But I was so surprised. Like, not because the show was good, but because, like, what gets canceled these days? That's, yeah, what gets canceled these days. Especially Mindy Kaling. She's got that Midas touch. Especially when they just keep punting the ball and being like, next season's coming. Euphoria. Yeah. Which, by the way, did pick up cameras. They have started filming. It's better than admitting defeat. Yeah, I was just shocked. And then I know Rene Rapp is, like, so glad. Really? But the thing is, is that...

Like she probably thinks like, look, the show failed without me and it really had nothing to do with you, even though she was my favorite character and it would have been better with her. That's not why the show was bad this season. Yeah. But she probably thinks she made the right choice by leaving because it was a sinking ship anyway. But I don't feel like her music career really took off. I think whether she stayed or left like would not change where she's at right now. She might have just had a little bit more money from doing the last couple of episodes. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Okay, well, I guess it was a story. Peter now? I thought it was a story. I'm so sorry. I was like waiting. Peter!

No, our next story are the red carpet interviews between Hilaria and Alec Baldwin that have everyone in a dizzy. Going viral. She's literally yelling at him, telling him to shut up and saying, you're annoying me. Hilaria Baldwin put Alec Baldwin on blast for interrupting her. No, she said, you're annoying me. She actually said it, what I saw she said in plain English. Okay, because like when you're mad, like you can't control your big accent. Yeah.

She put him on blast for interrupting her during an awkward red carpet interview. She was chatting with Extra about the future of their family show in New York City when her husband chimed in. He said, it's going to be great. You're a winner. Then she snapped at him and she said, oh my God, when I'm talking, you're not talking. No, when I'm talking, you're not talking. She joked that her partner's behavior was why she just have to cut him out of the show. She literally takes her body and was like, this is why we have to cut him out of the show.

And then he walks away. He like rolls his eyes. He stands there. And then he just goes to a different interviewer. Now, I feel like what they think they're doing, or maybe she, what she thinks she's doing is like, ha-ha, bickering old married couple. Because that is like a shtick, right? And it's funny. But what she doesn't realize is like she's so far beyond that shtick. There is...

Something to be said about how you speak to your partner in front of other people, let alone the world and like a camera. And I'm sorry, I thought this was disgusting as somebody who's always yelling at her husband. Like, I would never. You don't think they're a match made in heaven considering he's always yelling at everybody? Because thoughtless little pig. Right. He got a business of his own medicine.

It is nice to see somebody give it to him the way he's given it to everyone else for years. But if I'm speaking about a marriage, whoever it is, this is wholly unacceptable way of speaking. I know. I just think that they are so dysfunctional in a way that is functional. Right, this is their normal. And it's not like they are just getting to know each other. They've been together forever. They have seven kids. Their oldest is 11. That means they've probably been together almost forever.

15 years like this is how they operate they've just chosen to do a reality show like neither one of them is going anywhere maybe Alec responds to like nastiness because he likes to exude nastiness right no it's his native tongue it's funny how they could

give us like a window into their relationship that we haven't already seen it's like whoa okay hilarious that's a lot but it's like they have a reality show like this is all on it's not like they don't show us themselves their selves yeah I guess like the shocking part of all this is like

kind of how the mighty have fallen. Like not only is he doing a TLC show with his wife, he's on a red carpet getting yelled at in front of everybody. It's like, this was once a great actor, you know? It's so crazy. Maybe that's like my, my feeling about it because like,

He's had many different eras of his life, obviously, like the Russ, he's going through like a bad one right now. But he is and was like a highly respected great actor from like a big old Hollywood family, the Baldwins. And it's like, how did we get here? I don't know. It's so crazy. It's really, yeah, it is.

So I don't know. I don't know either. But I don't think this is like a sign of what's to come. I think this is just like a sign of how they are. Yeah. No, this is not like, oh, headed for divorce. Because if you I mean, some people are headed for divorce. And the last thing they do is a reality show on their way out. But I don't think that that's what's going on. Like, this is their dynamic that she's pregnant, pregnant, you know? Yeah. So this is definitely just how they talk to one another. There is a lid for every pot.

I also think she's maybe getting a little high off her own supply. Yeah. You know, she's becoming a big star now. She's got a reality for her. Right. I was defending her. No. And like,

Of the two of them right now, I think she has a little bit more like buzz star quality than him. Not, you know, if you look at their entire careers, but like she's kind of the moment right now when he's taking a backseat. And I think she's kind of like living for it as somebody who was the unknown in the relationship. She married a famous person. Now she herself is famous. Yeah. There's definitely a lot of dynamics here. Correct. I can only imagine what their dinner table looks and sounds like. Well, you could watch on TLC. Oh, right.

And I just want to say the reviews are in for the show and they are rave. Right. That's what I'm saying. It's trending positively for them. I will not be a part of this propaganda machine. Like you will not get me. Yeah. But I'm just letting you know, like people say it's a great show. Yeah. And you know, the cream rises. Right.

Our next story, number four, if you could handle it. Yeah, I'm okay with that. Is Gal Gadot receives a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame and she brought her whole family, her four daughters. I didn't realize she had four daughters. Yeah, she has four daughters and her last pregnancy like made a lot of news. So like it was incredible. And in that news cycle, I learned she has four daughters and I processed it then. Got it, got it.

Because it's really amazing. She received her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame on Tuesday and her daughter's ages ranging from 13 months to 13 came alongside her husband. And she gave a very sweet speech. She said, whenever my success grew, I always got pregnant. I needed to ground myself. That's what I tell my agents. It's either I'm making movies or making babies. She said, no more babies. But her husband always reminded her to dream and to be free to do whatever it is that I want to do.

My favorite thing when somebody gets a star in the Walk of Fame is like seeing what other celebrities they decide to like have income, like support and speak on their behalf. So who was with Gal? Vin Diesel. Oh, right, right, right. And that's like a blind spot in culture for me. Like the Vin Diesel movies. Yeah. But that's so Gal. Like she only does like billion dollar franchises, you know? It's true. Like where was everyone else? Like where was Jon Hamm? Because for me, like her biggest movie was Keeping Up with the Joneses.

I was going to say, what the hell was she with Jon Hamm? Oh my God, and they were the spy couple in Keeping Up with the Joneses, Isla Fisher, Zach Galifianakis? No, I know she's like... Of course, Wonder Woman. Yeah, right. And was her director there, her girly, Patti? Maybe. I don't know if Patti would make us any headlines. But I wouldn't be able to pick Patti out of a lineup. Yeah. Vin Diesel. Yeah, I also think like...

supporting publicly Gal Gadot right now is like a brave thing to do, which is so fucking crazy. So not me standing the fuck out of Vin Diesel. Sign me up. I'm starting Fast and Furious from the beginning. Watching Pacifier on repeat. Well, let me say this. I'm glad you brought that up. Every couple of years I need to rewatch Pacifier. I just did. It so holds up. It is. I know he's known for the Fast and the Furious. It is one of the best movies and it's stacked so

Lauren Graham, the principal. It is the most brilliant movie. And the girl, is that Madison Pettis? Oh, the daughter? No. It's like, it's the same vibe. No, she was in that other one, the football one with Vin Diesel. Yeah, the Tooth Fairy. With Dwayne The Rock, which is literally the same. Oh, Brittany Snow. Brittany Snow is the daughter. Oh my gosh. Even stackier. Yeah, it's,

Lauren Graham. Yeah, it's so good. Yeah. So Mazel Tov to Gal Gadot. Now, if you had a star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, like who are you asking? Who's the lineup of people to sit in the front row to make speeches? And I'm getting a star like today for what I do now. And I have like my existing network. Yes. So, of course, my sister, Claudia. Of course. I'm like introducing you, but that's obvious. OK, then like Shannon.

Of course. Lauren Elizabeth. Oh, I love. My friend Mary Orton. Of course. Of course my family will be there. Of course, of course. That goes without saying. You said friends. No, and I mean like celebs. Oh, celebs. Like people of note. Yeah, like my fellow influencer friends. Yeah, of course. Maybe Raven. Oh, I like that. Kind of speaks to like, you know, your roots. Yeah. I like that. She maybe would say something nice about me.

Yeah, like as a mother and friend. I like that. Oh, my friends Eric and Melissa. Of course, of course. And the only famous, right? I guess like Dayton is kind of famous. Oh, she would do an acoustic performance of my Judy Brown. It's true. Yeah, I love that. And then all my other friends who are less famous. Yeah, right, the nobodies. They would get an invitation to it, but like all the way in the back. Why? Who's yours? Who's yours?

Oh, well, obviously you would introduce me, of course. But I would really tap into like, I would definitely ask Gwyneth to come. Yeah, of course. I think she would come. It depends what she's doing. And it's in California. Maybe she would come. Right. No, I actually think she would come. Yeah. In terms of a musical performer, I would definitely see if Luke is available. Like I just asked Nico, like, hey, can Luke come? Okay. Yeah.

In terms of like other celebs like to speak and just sort of be in the front row. Who comes to mind? Who's like a close personal friend? Of course, Kyle Juszczyk has to be there. Of course. When you have so many celebrity friends, it's like hard to whittle it down. I don't want to offend anyone, you know? Yeah, it's so hard. And I don't want to like overdo it and be like, what is she trying to prove? You know, so maybe that's enough. So it's just Kyle Juszczyk cheering you on. Gwyneth, Luke Holmes and I. Yeah, and you. Well, Luke was performing. Yeah, but he'd still sit in the front row. Nico, of course, as well. He's like in the background like.

No, no, no. I need to use his celebrity. I need him to be right in the front row. I think it's a great crew. Me too. Yeah. Maybe Gary LaVox. To perform? Are you going to put him to work? Or if he could work or he could sit in the front row. Okay. Your nearest and dearest. Yeah. Me, Gary, Luke, and the crew. Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Is it actually really crazy, like sad story? Oh shit, wait, hold on. No, I'm not ready. Okay. Sorry. I like totally lost my, my balance. Oh, I thought you like weren't ready because of how sad it is. No, it's because this is brought to you by State Farm. Yeah.

So this episode of The Toast is supported by State Farm. We know that the toasters can agree. Nothing feels better than a personal win, like when you get a final piece of furniture delivered to your apartment, your home really feels complete, or you hit a personal record in a new workout. Perhaps you're a toaster who managed to stop for a much-needed iced coffee, and they did have ice, so you're not drinking slop.

But you still made it to work on time. Well, whatever it is that you define as a win, it calls for celebration. And any idea who's cheering right beside you? Oh, that's right. It's State Firm. It's State Farm, Gary Levox, Luke Combs, Gwyneth Paltrow, Raven Gates. And Mary Orton. Oh, MFMO, of course. Which is...

With State Farm and the State Farm personal price plan, you can create an affordable price just for you when you bundle home and auto. So celebrate by breaking out the confetti and those happy dance moves. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. So like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Talk to a State Farm agent today. You can learn how to bundle and save with the personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts, and savings and eligibility do vary by state.

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. State Farm is there. Any interest? Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. And then for good measure, Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. There.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Quince. Who doesn't love the good things in life? A little luxury here and there. You know, Jackie and I, we're big fans of investments and just luxury in general. But obviously, constantly investing in luxury is not an option for a multitude of reasons. Budget, space, capacity.

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Give yourself the luxury you deserve with Quince. Go to quince.com slash toast for free shipping on your order and 365 day returns. That's Q-U-I-N-C-E dot com slash toast to get free shipping and 365 day returns. Quince.com slash toast. Thank you slash turd. You're welcome. Our fifth and final story is very sad and shocking news, but Jamie King has lost custody of her sons to her ex-husband after failing to complete a six month rehab program. Wait, what?

Pearl Harbor, Jamie King? Is she in Pearl Harbor? Heart of Dixie, Jamie King? Heart of Dixie, Jamie King. Taylor Swift's best friend, Jamie King? Yeah, one of these children is Taylor Swift's godson, which of course they put in the headline, which is like irrelevant, but okay. Oh my God, that's so obnoxious. So obnoxious. There's a lot of details about this story. So Jamie King lost custody of her two sons to her ex-husband, Kyle Newman, after failing to complete a six-month rehab program. A judge declared that he will have sole physical

physical custody of James 11 and Leo 9 who will primarily live with their dad per court documents obtained by people the former couple will share legal custody of the kids but the filmmaker was granted tie-breaking authority which means he has final say in the decisions if they are deadlocked in anything

So she was granted visitation rights with her sons. However, she must be supervised around the boys after failing to complete a six-month drug and alcohol program with weekly testing and aftercare, a 26-week parenting program, individual counseling to address case issues, and conjoint counseling with minors, according to the magazine. She can only see her children three times a week in specific hour blocks with approved supervisors who are family members of hers and her husband's.

Right. The judge comes months after he asked a judge for sole custody of the kids, claiming in a petition that Jamie had been strung out and drunk while they were in her care. There are some details of that incident where like the son called him up and asked to be picked up. She was like drunk and like doing drugs in front of, like it's really, like I honestly don't even want to like

share it because it's very personal and disturbing. What's also interesting, they got married in 2007. She filed for divorce in 2020. And at the time she also filed for and was granted a restraining order against him. So, and then shortly after he claimed that she's a chronic drug addict and alcoholic, that she abused opioids frequently.

for years before her children were born and throughout her pregnancies resulting in one of her sons being addicted to opiates being born addicted like just really really disturbing stuff oh my god they tried to put her in rehab in 2020 him and her friends she checked herself out and since then oh my god I had no idea about any of this no idea since then they've been in their father's care now she's not like so famous yeah

But she's been famous for a really long time. Yes. The fact that she was in Pearl Harbor and Heart of Dixie, to me, those happened in two different universes. I think she was a child actress, right? I don't know. I feel like...

Pearl Harbor was like her big break. It was a lot of people's big breaks. Interesting. Yeah, 2001. But she never became like huge. No, but she's always a working actress, always in stuff. She's in White Chicks. Yeah, recognizable face. Oh, White Chicks, yeah. She's a very recognizable face. And then her friendship with Taylor Swift, I feel like really brought her into the 21st century. She was in my favorite movie that is stacked, Barely Lethal, with Hailee Steinfeld, Dove Cameron, Sophie Turner. That was obviously a dark time. And now Jamie King.

Wait, this is the craziest story. Honestly, like, thank God the dad is like, you know,

There's one parent who's like eager to take and take on all the custody because sometimes that's not the case. But oh my God, I never would have expected any of this. And then the stuff you said about like when she was pregnant, like I'm sick. No, I'm sick. And usually when I see like a woman who's lost custody of her children like that is like devastating. Right. And I feel like it takes a lot for a mom to lose. Like courts tend to favor the moms.

Yeah. But then to like read the details about this and then she's like just so unwell is so upsetting. And I hope that she gets the help that she needs and that she could be back with her children like in a. I know. But like if the threat of losing your children just to do like a six month course wasn't enough, I don't feel like, you know, better because that's rock bottom. Yeah. I don't feel like better days are near for her. I don't know. Just very upset. What a crazy fucking story.

And it's so, not to like make everything about Taylor Swift, but Taylor's like kind of, you know, she's known for being like a clean celeb. Like she doesn't like party hard. And I feel like everybody around her pretty much reflects that. It's like, you know, there's not a lot of like partying and drugs around Taylor Swift. I don't think when they're with her, they do that. But she has some friends who party like Cara Delevingne.

Yeah, that's true. But who's newly sober? Sophie Turner has a good time. Gets down. Yeah, but that's different. I feel like Sophie Turner likes to have a good time the same way Taylor does. They have like a lot of mojitos. Oh yeah, and like a lot of red wine. Yeah, yeah. And like a vape is crazy. Yeah, okay. I'm talking about like Hollywood party. Hard partying.

Yeah, there's like circles of Hollywood that are very, I mean like Charlie XCX. That's why her and Taylor aren't friends. They're opposites. Right, right. Like Taylor's idea of partying hard is having too much wine and like maybe throwing up in the toilet, you know? Yeah, in her house. In her house, right. Yeah, I understand. So I'm just not used to this type of like stereotypical Hollywood behavior being in Taylor's orbit because she's very clean. Like her parents are her best friends and when she's partying, she's literally partying with her mom. Yeah, and like making cookies. Yeah.

Right, like drunk and accidentally starting a fire because there was a candle lit. So, I mean, and they also, they haven't been spotted together in a while. I wouldn't say this is like one of Taylor's best, best, best friends. But she's a godmother. Right. That's closeness. Here, this will be, has Jamie King been to an Eris tour show? Oh, a quick Google-ay. That's like a good way to know if they're recently, because everyone who's like a current friend of Taylor of all different levels, the only thing coming up is fucking this. This.

Yes, Jamie King sported a sparkly pink cowboy hat. Yes, she went. Yeah. So they're friends. And what? Because your friend's going through a hard time, you stop being friends? No, no, of course not. But I wonder, this is just incongruous with Taylor's vibe. Yeah. Damn. Yeah, very sad. Really, really sad and shocking. Yeah, yeah.

Well, those were the Fast Five stories. You definitely needed to know that last one. They ended on a low. Yeah, they did. And let's dive into the TV recap. Let's pick back up. Real Housewives of Beverly Hills.

It was a great episode. I love a trip. And I feel like so many, like we're kind of at a standstill a little bit with certain fights in the group because there are these alliances. And I feel like last night was the first time you ever started to see like a little bit of a crack, especially in the Garcelle and Sutton one. At the end of the episode where everybody was coming at Sutton and then Garcelle just decided to take a backseat and for the first time ever not be her mouthpiece. I found that to be shocking. She really like hung her out to dry and she was like, well, that's what she did to me the night before. And I'm sorry, say what you want about Garcelle. And I had my issues with her like,

her being a dog with a bone with the Morgan Wade thing, like I'm so on her side with. Like it's infuriating. Everybody's sitting around being like, Mo is on a date? You had a girlfriend for a year. Like what the fuck are we talking about? You guys are not together. Also, I recently watched some of the footage from the music video and I realized that we've been citing the music video. Like you did a music video, went to the concert, you got tattoos.

The music video. We need to go back to... It's like sexy-licious. I just saw a photo where it looked like they kissed and it was like, oh, she kissed Morgan in the music video. Like that's kind of titillating. It's way more than that. Like it's ongoing...

Yeah. And it's shocking to watch. And so that coloring everything else, like, I'm sorry, like that's the first move. If Mauricio wants to go and have a girlfriend or several, that's fine. Your wife publicly made a piece of art that like was meant for public consumption. Even if she didn't, by the way, you are separated. Like you can see other people. But it's less sad. It

It would be really sad if they got separated and like he's out there dating and she's home. It would be sad. It wouldn't be wrong. Pining for him. Yes, yes, yes. But that's not what's been happening. It's so weird. Like the way everybody's like revisionist history. So every time Garcelle brings it up, I think some people roll their eyes. They're like, Garcelle, let it go. No, thank you. Yeah. No, like we can't talk about Mo without talking about that because like that part is critical to understanding how you might feel about Mo. Correct. Correct.

And I actually had a lot of respect for Garcelle for like being mad at Sutton. Like that's her girl. And she's like always ride or die. And we've never seen them have an, have an argument, but like, she's not wrong for being annoyed. And so like, all right, you, you didn't back me up. Tiff or Todd, I won't back you up. And Sutton really couldn't handle it. No. And like Sutton, that was like one of the worst moments.

instances for Sutton of like just everyone speaking their truth. Because Erica really hasn't gotten involved in a direct way. She's been like, you know, shady to Sutton towards the other girls and then in her confessionals. But this was the first time she like said what she thought. It was clear that like, not that it was rehearsed, but she really thought about what she wanted to say to Sutton because it was

an evisceration yeah i thought like that little monologue she gave about how she likes to tear down women in this group who are going through hard times and then literally the only thing sutton could say to rebuke that was like you say i'm tear down all women no nobody fucking said that okay we don't know how you are in the in the world she loves to get lost in grammar like she's it becomes obsessed with a word like it's so annoying and i like how erica was like

I didn't say that. Let's not even go there. It was such a bad response. And it's true. Sutton is always starting stuff and then running away crying. It's such an annoying...

Yeah, and she wants to be like the big bad bitch on the block. Like, let's bring mention it all accountability. This is going on in the press. Let's talk about it. And it's always good to have that person. If you want to be that person, you've got to be tougher. You can't be that way. And then run crying scared anytime someone questions you. Yeah, yeah.

Or don't be that person. That's fine. But she is that person. She can't help it. Like, say what you want about Lisa Rinna. Yeah, that's what I was thinking too. Like, if Lisa Rinna was like constantly going in on people and if someone went in on her, she'd bite back twice as hard. She wouldn't run away crying. Crying. And that's kind of why she was so good at her job. Yeah, but like seriously. She was a worthy adversary. Sutton is not. No, Sutton plays the victim every single time that she's challenged. And then she's like, you can't tell me how I should or shouldn't feel. It's like, okay, so here we are. We're not allowed to say that you're being a victim even though you're being a victim.

Right. And another. All this shit in your confessionals. All this shit with Garza. You're so tough. You don't want to cross me. Like. Right. I called you brokey. And then like you're sitting on the boat crying. Running away. Like having a meltdown. It's so true. She's literally like so weak. And such a big talker. It's like when she's alone. But when she apologized to Dorit. Which in the moment like.

Seems like an apology. I can't help but remember the confessional where right after she called Dorit poor, she said in her confessional, I don't regret it. I would say it again. And I'm just trying to understand if those confessionals are meant to...

reflect that moment in time. Right. Or if it's about a few months later and we know that they're saying that a few months later, like I do need clarity on like, is she going back to how she felt in that moment? Like what was the prompt from the producer? Cause I think that that's important. I think it's supposed to be a reflection of how you feel in that moment. I really do. I can't get past it. I know. Cause it was so crazy. If she said at a reunion, that's the same timeline. Like if she said like, she's literally saying it four months later,

I don't regret it. I would say it again. I meant it. And then you're also two weeks later saying an apology.

So that's where like I under like another dynamic that was a kind of tested was the bows and to read of it all. This was the first time where bows was like kind of pushing back on to read in a very kind and friendly way. But just be like, look, she's apologizing. Like you have to accept it or you should accept it. And I understand her thinking that she's new to this group. She doesn't understand the history. And I understand to read being like, I mean, you're kidding. This is what you do. You make a genuine apology. The next day you do the exact same thing, but you go even lower. So I understood that.

Boze's inclination to be like look she's trying to put it to bed like let's put it to bed but then I understand Dorit being like I mean how many times how many times we're gonna fool me once we're gonna go on the same hamster wheel it's a waste of time yeah I felt like Boze was being a good friend in that moment I know people saw it as like her finally challenging Dorit but like if I was sitting beside my friend I want them to move past something and they maybe I felt like they missed something in the conversation like I would be like hey like you got what you wanted

You want the apology? She wasn't calling her out. I saw on watch. I was live. Girl. Darcelle was like, I was so proud of Bose for finally, you know, like pushing back or do whatever. So annoying. That's not what that was. I would do that for someone. I'm on the same side as it's like, look, like don't lose sight of like what you want. Yeah. Bose was trying to be productive, right? Like move the thing along. You're wrong. But like, wait, hold on. It's just a friendly thing to do. Um, I didn't felt like she was like joining the other side or anything. Okay.

Kathy was making me laugh so hard when she like sat down and was like asking everybody to get her stuff. And Kyle was like, she doesn't care who you are. Like she needs something. You have to get it for her. And she's like bossing Jennifer Tilly around with a salad dressing. I was laughing so hard. Kathy was actually making me laugh a lot, even though she was in the episode for three seconds. She's like these boat rides.

They're not good. It's not working. And it was a bad boat ride. Like the boat was small. The wind, everybody's hats. There was no indoor like table for everybody to sit at. It was a tiny little boat. The weather looked weird. It didn't look like a good boat day. It was Cartagena. Yeah.

Okay. Yeah. And they should have waited to have conversations until they were anchored because them cruising with the wind. With the wind. It was very chaotic and a little worrisome. I know. And like Erica clearly like her hair was made for the hat. Like she couldn't take off her hat. Sutton took off her hat. She just had like a blowout. But Erica had like an updo like in the hat. And so she couldn't take it off. And just watching her like try to talk with the hat and the wind. It was really annoying. Yeah. It was very chaotic. And now they're all stuck on this boat together that's not that big. Yeah.

Yeah, it was small. While Sutton's about to have a meltdown. She was being so, these bitches. Like, she's so lame. She like, she like went into the abyss. I think she also used the C word because-

They showed the asterisk word, but it didn't start with a B. But for bitches, it started with a B. She's the definition of condition but can't take it. And it's like, we did that when we were 12. You're so grown. No, and also, I know I said this last week, but the dynamics between Sutton, Garcelle, and Kyle about them fighting over Sutton. And Sutton should be excited about that. But also fighting over Kyle. I know, she doesn't realize. She doesn't realize it's so middle school.

Yeah well Sutton finds herself in a similar predicament as Erica like Erica also kind of refuses to get involved in the Kyle stuff and she's happy to defend Dorit when it comes to Dorit versus Sutton but she wasn't happy or even remotely interested in defending Dorit when it came to Dorit versus Kyle. Yeah. So that's like one of my only gripes with Erica. She looked the girls looked amazing. I actually loved all their outfits. Erica looked sick. Yeah she looks amazing.

She does. So I actually love Sutton's outfit too on the boat. The little blue. Oh my God. Garcelle showing up with the same dress as Kyle after calling Kyle's outfit hideous, like her wardrobe hideous was so funny. Yeah. That's. And Jennifer Tilly just stays like making me laugh. She's really growing on me, even though like her obviously fatal flaw is that she's Sutton's friend. So when it comes to the drama, her input is like always bad, but she doesn't give it a lot. Yeah. I feel like there's just too much going on for her to really get like involved in a meaningful way. Yeah.

Though Bose has, but they're different people. Yeah. No, I love, and they serve different purposes on the show. Jennifer Tilly's kind of taking on like a Kathy Hilton type of role. Yeah. Showing up, showing us the opulence, being funny, connected to the group, but not connected to the drama in any real meaningful way. Whereas Bose was brought in, she's a player. Yeah. She's a formidable opponent. But she wasn't even brought in to be, like her friendship with Dorit is new. It's just how this is how things have shaken out.

Right. But Jennifer Tilly is like not in the Diamond theme song. No, she's a real like character, personality cat. She adds color to the show. And every time she tells us something about her jewelry or her altamoda, like I live for it. She has positive energy and she's down for a good time. Like, that's great. Thank you. Everyone needs friends like that. And she's an Oscar winner. Nominee.

Thank you. Excuse me. Yes. Yeah. Big difference. Still cool. Tonight is Summer House, which we will watch a recap tomorrow. And that's our show. Yeah.

Love ya.