The Reason Passed Muster: Tuesday, December 3rd, 2024
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Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to The Toast and happy Tuesday, or should I say happy Curtain Day to all who celebrate. It's Curtain Day too, and speaking of curtains, hey Jax, how you doing?

Yeah, Ben said no.

Ben, did he have good reason? Yes, he is actually back-to-back shoots today. You know, he's in Brooklyn already filming, you know, collab content, food content, you know, chef-like things. His reason passed muster. What? His reason passed muster. What? Okay, his reason P-A-S-S-E-D space M-U-S-T-E-R.

It wasn't that I couldn't like phonetically here. I seriously have no idea what the fuck you're talking about. Like it's approved. Oh, yeah, I approve. It was a good reason. It was a legitimate excuse. Is that what you were trying to say? His reason passed muster. Oh, it passed the muster.

It's just a phrase. It's not a phrase. I've never heard it. And you know I know all the phrases. Now you're making me feel like it's not a phrase. Let me just... And when did you learn this phrase? Yesterday? Because you've never in our... We're sisters. I've known you your whole fucking life. You have never said that phrase. Okay. To pass muster means to be accepted as adequate or satisfactory. His reason passed muster. Is that a phrase? Is reason pass muster a phrase or just pass muster means something? Pass muster in the dictionary...

is means to be accepted as adequate. That's literally his reason past muster. Okay. And no, you're right. I don't, it's not like in the last 24 hours I heard that phrase and now I'm bringing it to the show. I don't know what recess, I don't know what recess of my mind came from. I don't know what, well, guess what? That is not past muster of you. Okay. Oh my God. Like you ever talked to somebody and they immediately like start speaking Chinese. I literally had no idea what the hell you were talking about.

His reason passed muster. Yes. And I'm excited for him that he's hitting the mean streets of Brooklyn to film content. Yes. More on that. More on that. Yes. He's shooting with two acceptable people. You guys know my bar these days. Like, can't let these people get too close to Ben. You know, he's kind of blowing up. His breath. His breath, first of all. And second of all, like, I don't know. I'm not just letting any old girl come through.

So today he's filming. Who is it, Alex Guarnaschelli? No, Alex Guarnaschelli. She should be on my, and by the way, Ben sent me like one of the videos that they made and he like asked me if I liked it before he posted it yesterday. And I definitely like, I saw sparks. I just want to say like, I was shipping them.

Not the Gorn. Yeah. She's approved. Today he's filming with somebody who is a man, so obviously that's okay with me. Parjilicious. Parjilish. And then he's also filming with a woman who is not interested in men, so also okay with me.

Love that. Yeah. And what are these things that he's filming? Like for him, where will we see them? Ben likes to do all different types of Q labs, like some for his page. These are at someone else's studio. So when that happens, it's like that person's content. And then Ben will like rent studio and that's for him. You know, whoever's like taking the cost. I think, I don't know how it works in the Sheffy space.

The chefy space. Well, speaking of Ben filming stuff, I have to talk about what you guys did last night, even though I'm sure you were going to. Oh, actually, I totally forgot. I've literally done like a thousand. We were filming really early this morning because Jax is heading home finally. Thank God. Back to our equilibrium, although I will miss the curtain. I'll miss the pargy-ness of this studio and the ultra H-J and staring camp right in the eye. So I totally forgot that last night, like I was so busy. Not me, not me literally working till 9 p.m. I mean, I'm just.

Try being an influencer for a day. Try it. You, Margo, and Ben did an Amazon Live. I watched most of it. It was so funny. I think that doing Amazon Live is like literally my calling. I love to be on camera, so that's just fun. The Amazon Live studio, it's like really high budget. When you're an influencer, everything you do is low budget, right? Like you do it on your phone, look at our studio. On your bootstraps. Yeah, but this is like being on TV. It's really like, I would say it's probably just as high quality, maybe even more that it's like QVC or HSN, like the home shopping networks.

So, I mean, it's like a team of like 50 people in the control room. Like you look like you're on NBC. It's really crazy. I saw someone posted the control room. It's so crazy. So it's just fun to be in that type of like fancy environment. And I just think I really was in this life like meant to have like an Amazon live show or like...

like one type of like home shopping. Like I'm really very, I feel very passionate about the products. Well, that's because I get to choose the products. I don't think if you're like on QVC, do you get to like choose what you're selling? You just have to like hawk stuff. But Amazon Live is like based on your storefront. So like you get to choose the items. I did like Dyson Airwrap, Dyson Vacuum, like beauty things that I like. So I just feel like it's really my calling and I had so much fun yesterday.

Oh my God. I actually turned on QVC the other day because I was just like looking for something to have in the background. And I actually like QVC around the holidays because they've got great energy and I like to shop. And the way that they could make you buy anything, like they were zooming in on this like bar of chocolate. That's so crazy. I also turned on QVC like a week ago. It didn't even look like if I pass that chocolate at the store, I wouldn't look twice at it actually like

It had like live nuts in it. It was not for me. Live nuts? The way they were talking about this chocolate, I had to try it. What's a live nut as opposed to a dead one? Like a whole nut. Like a whole nut sitting on top. Multiple of different kinds of nuts. I'm not nutty. She is. What are you? Nuts?

No, actually. I'm not nutty. I agree. When we went to Polo Bar for Thanksgiving, we got like almost every single dessert. And the one that we didn't get was the brownie, which is crazy because that's like my go-to, like a warm brownie. It was like a walnut brownie. Like seriously, why? Seriously, why? And I'm not saying like yucky. I would never eat that. It's like not preferred.

I would say yucky. I would never eat that. You would. I think that like it's the same for most like fruits, except for like there are certain exceptions. Like fruit is not dessert. It's just like a substitute. So making like a carrot cake. No, that's not dessert. That's how I feel about nuts. Get out of here. What are you nuts? I do think carrot cake is the exception, but I'm not going to argue that it's not.

because like we'll just we'll be here for days we'll never we will be here for days they were also selling this vacuum cleaner and i wasn't titillated but then they were showing how you could clean your kids car see with it oh i thought that was something to read that that's how they that's how they got you yeah yeah practical application of policy practical application of policy that passes muster oh if it ain't passing muster honestly it ain't for me

And you know what? Maybe passing muster came out of the woodwork today because I didn't get like a lot of sleep last night, but I got better sleep than the night before. Yesterday I was not coming up with passing muster. Maybe you just had a dream. I was barely passing muster myself. Oh, don't say that. You were phenomenal.

Yeah, yeah, yeah. But it was just, you know, the brain wasn't hundo pee. Yeah. Well, we have not even really talked about what an exciting week we have at the maybe like one or two days I'm headed down to Florida, obviously to spend time with my family, which I cannot wait for. But mostly because Jackie and I are doing our final live podcast of the year. And let's be honest, our podcast.

Probably our final live podcast for quite some time. At the Hard Rock Seminole in Hollywood, Florida. It is our biggest show yet. It is our first show in Florida. Jackie's... You know, it's kind of like a homecoming type of show. Very Beyonce homecoming. It's Sunday night at 7 o'clock at the Hard Rock Seminole in...

In Hollywood, Florida. We are so excited. It's not too late to get tickets. There are a couple of seats left. It's our biggest show. I cannot wait. I did finally get a dress. Like it was really hard, but I found one. And I don't, if you don't like it, like that's fair. I'm not saying it's the most beautiful dress, but it fits. And I don't want to hear a fucking word about it. Okay. No, if you like, if you out there have anything to say about like,

Claudia's pregnant woman dress, like trying to get a Chisno holiday. Like you're a mean person. You try trying on dresses for a Chisno holiday extravaganza when you literally hate your body. Like try it. Try it. Yeah. I actually just ordered some dresses last night. I'm a little bit behind, but we could always hit the mall. We could. And I also was thinking that green dress, that Simkai that I lent to you that is now living in your closet. That might fit me now.

Okay. So that's my backup dress. It's a great dress. We have a great show. The stories are what? Like scale of one to ten. Like not, you know, gangbusters. So I don't want to – the stories are what we make them. I'll just leave it at that. And let's make them rock. Let's make them rock. We also have –

Dear Toasters, a weekly advice segment that was moved to Tuesdays. We almost moved it again this week to Wednesday because Jackie is heading to the airport, but we decided to just record extra early to get to the toasters. And the submissions are very good this week. I'm very excited. However, if we make too much of the stories, we will not have time for Dear Toasters.

No, let's be mindful. If we do not stop singing our Par-G song, then we won't be able to give you advice. But I'll never stop singing my Par-G song. They want to make me stop singing Par-G songs, but I was born to sing this Par-G song, and you can grab a spoon and eat my ass.

I love it. I love it. Now, I'll never stop singing my Pargy song. Oh, you know what I'm doing today? No, I will never stop singing my Pargy song, okay? Sorry, I think you need to get in the studio. Well, I'm actually in the studio, and so are you. You know what I was thinking about, Jackie? You need to get into the recording studio and write a song called the Pargy song. Well, remember when we were coming up with what Selena Gomez's song was going to be? Yes. We actually ended up writing an amazing song. I actually thought of the other day, the song that she ended up releasing, I...

I'll be single soon. I don't know if there is a song that has made less of a cultural impact in my lifetime than that song, the way it came and went. I don't even think it hit the billboard. Like it was like a passion project of hers. She liked the song. She didn't give a fuck. She like made this turnt music video and it's literally flopped. Such a flop. What I thought you were going to say is you wrote, when we heard that she was coming out with a song, like it was like, I am, she was doing Easter eggs. We wrote a song. Yeah. How did it go? Remind me. Um,

- Wait, I don't-- - No Jackie, I am real. That's Simon VanCaven. - I know, I'm being alone too much to dance with your heart. - We need to get back in the studio. - We need to get back in the studio and then I'll stop singing my party song when I decide the party-ness is long gone. - Ooh, I love, I love.

Okay, well, in that spirit, we should stop singing our Pargy song and get to the business at hand. Without further ado-do-do-do-do about the Pargy song, here are the...

Here are the fast five stories that you need to know. Wait, before we do the fast five, like you're, you're actually experiencing something that sometimes happens to me, but like not a lot where it's like, I get to do the toast from the comfort of my own studio. And yes, I have my problems, like my, you know, bad lighting or whatever, but no one's judging me. Right. Like, I don't know. You are singing your Pargy song in front of how many cameramen are, and I know they hear me. Just one. Just one. And do you think that he thinks you're a freak?

I can't see him, so we'll find out after the show. And do you think that he thinks that, like, you're, like, a girl who, like, started a podcast, like, for fun and three people listen? Like, do you think he knows that, like, this is kind of, like, the Joe Rogan of the Jewish community? Yeah, and he definitely knows it's the Joe Rogan. No, he's actually familiar with the toast because he works a lot with Lexus Waters. Oh, okay, okay. So, oh, cool, okay. Lexus Waters uses... So you're saying Lexus Waters ate these eggs? That is what he... That's what he's saying, yeah. Okay, cool. Sorry. So...

The Pardee song is brought to you by State Farm, which is so appropriate because they also have their own Pardee song, and this time we're allowed to sing it. So today's episode of The Toast is supported by State Farm. When you get a new car, a new home, the first thing you might find yourself saying is, how is this real? Or it's giving homeowner. But really the words you want to be thinking or singing are, like a good neighbor, State Farm is there with a Pardee song.

State Farm is there, can confirm. They are there with the coverage that you need for your car, your home, even boats, motorcycles, RVs, and other things that matter to you. With a State Farm agent, you know that someone is there to help you choose the coverage you need. With so many coverage options, it can really feel good knowing that you can find what fits for you. And when you need ways to get help, State Farm also gives you options there too. So, you know, I know a lot of our listeners are quite diverse. Perhaps some of you relate more to Jackie. You live a little bit of a slower life. You're not so like tech savvy, bright lights, big city. Like you want to talk to a State Farm agent.

over the phone or maybe even, oh, I don't know, in real life. You can do that with State Farm. But they also have an award-winning app and website where if you're just very like Gen Z coded like me and like doing everything online, fast-paced, fast lights, bright lights, big city, you can use their website or their app.

So when you need help protecting the things that matter most, remember to sing it like Jackson Claw do and sing that Pargy song in your heart that goes a little something like this. Oh my God. I'm like short of breath these days. Sorry. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Wow. That was like my best one yet. Do you want to hit it once? Hit it one time?

Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Okay. Today's episode is also brought to you by Minky Couture. This is literally one of our sponsors that will actually change your life. Like maybe even save your life, okay? You will never buy another blanket again after buying a Minky Couture blanket. And I know what you guys are going to say. Like, Turney, why do I need a Minky Couture blanket? There are lots of nice blankets out there. And that's true. And some of them are, you know, you can buy them anywhere. Right?

Once you feel a Mickey Couture blanket and you like really make it a part of your everyday life, like you will not believe how you slept without a Mickey Couture blanket. I take my daily two hour nap under my Mickey Couture. I don't even go under my comforter anymore. Just my Mickey Couture. It is the best blanket on the planet. I can't really explain it. Like you just need to feel it. It is...

They make so many sizes. The one that I have is huge. So they created the original hugs blanket. It's a stretchy, plush, and double-sided blanket that literally hugs you back. That's the one I have. I have it in the giant size because I have a king-size bed and I really want it to be able to cover the entirety of my bed. You really will never...

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Tons of different sizes. They do make ones for kids that have like really cute patterns. I know Jackie's kids have like the rocket ship ones and Michaela has like the unicorn ones. That is also the perfect size for a dog crate. I know that's not like how they sell them, but they also make Mickey Gatoras that I think are perfect for dog crates. So,

Visit softminkyblankets.com. Use our code TOAST at checkout for 50% off all full-priced blankets. That's softminkyblankets.com. Our promo code is TOAST for 50% off all full-priced blankets. Today's episode is also brought to you by Amazon Live, an incredible shoppable video platform where you can explore the hottest products while connecting with the biggest influencers, you know, like myself. You'll get to see products in action and shop as you watch. I'm sure a lot of you guys experienced Amazon Live last night, perhaps for the first time. Amazon Live is like a very...

First of all, something I wish I started sooner. It's just like live streams with your favorite reality stars, content creators, podcasters, comedians, models. Hello. Where they are sharing their favorites when it comes to beauty, when it comes to fashion, when it comes to cooking. Ben was cooking last night. So it's like a really fun, engaging, entertaining stream. But then everything that you're watching, all the products, all the clothes are shoppable and it's on Amazon. So you can literally just add it to your cart. Like it's literally so easy while you're watching. You never have to leave. You can just like add stuff to your cart.

And they were having tons of deals last night. Some of the deals are still going on this morning. But it's so fun to watch. You can follow me there. Follow your favorite creators. They do, you know, Kyle Richards, Lala Kent. And there's always like a lot of drama. I mean, on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills this season. It's a main storyline. It's a main storyline about what Kyle said about to read. So there's always like really good tea. Paige DeSorbo is obviously on it. She has like tons of guests coming through. She does like an interview show. It's really the best thing. You can ask questions in the live chat. I was chatting with all the toasters last night. We were giggling so hard. Jackie was in the live chat. Seriously, like.

It was so funny. Head to Amazon.com slash the toast. You'll find all of my Amazon lives that I've done along with your favorite hosts. Well, second, obviously, because I'm number one. You can also stream and shop Amazon lives, new live TV channel on prime video under the DIY section. You can shop along on your phone. So head over to Amazon.com slash a toast and you'll find all my Amazon lives and just make sure to follow. So you never miss a stream. Thank you. Never miss a turd. I would never have the dream of missing a turd. Our first story. Let's go back.

Back to the beginning. Oh, you know what I forgot to tell you? Oh. Actually, well, I did tell you, but we never got to chat about it. I didn't get to talk about it on the shows. When I was at Polo Bar for, actually, I didn't tell you this. When I was at Polo Bar for Thanksgiving, you walked downstairs into the restaurant. As I'm walking downstairs, who's walking up?

Justin Anderson and Kristen Cavallari. Now Kristen Cavallari walks right by me. I feel like she doesn't like me because of that one thing I said about her, which I stand by. But Justin Anderson, I like love it. He's a swirly. I've never met him, but apparently he like loves the Good Guys podcast too. He was so excited, so funny, so nice. He was like shocked to see us. I have never met him before. We're like internet friends. Even better IRL.

Oh my God, we're internet friends and I really like him and you know what? I'm jealous. Yeah, no, like meet your faves because if your fave is Justin Anderson, like he's so handsome. He was so cute and so funny. And I just want to say, I feel like Justin and Kristen like are aligned and-

her enemy is his enemies and vice versa and who he likes, she likes too. So I actually think she has no issue with you. Okay. Maybe like also she doesn't know who I am and like that and ugly and irrelevant, which is most likely the case. I don't think he would be like liking someone that Chris

Kristen had an issue with like their rider. Okay. Okay, cool. Cool. Cool. So that bodes well, but we're going back, back to the beginning because Laguna beach high school reunion, their 20 year high school reunion was this weekend. Lauren Conrad went, Stephen Coletti went, you have to remember it's like their year. Kristen's not there. Right. Right. But you also have to remember, and this was a reminder for me that like, this was a real school. No, that is what is so crazy. Like, has there ever been a more high stakes high school reunion? Did anyone have a more public,

more public high school experience than Laguna Beach? No. And who... Like, I need to know who was on the planning committee. Like, and when they were getting, like, RSVPs, they were probably freaking about, like... Because there were also just, like, regular folk who went to this high school, and, like, nobody knew. But they knew Kristen. They maybe had classes with Lauren. Like, it's actually the craziest thing. Because I feel like in this day and age, they would never have a reality show about high school kids who are actively in high school. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, it seems really young. Yeah, and it just...

It seems crazy. Yeah, it is crazy. What's crazier is that they all went, especially Lauren. But I guess she is just a down-home girl. I think she lives in Laguna now with her family, so it's like, why wouldn't she go to her high school reunion? But they all went. Lauren, Steven, Trey, Dieter, Morgan, Christina. I mean, I recently watched Laguna Beach, and I feel like we had this conversation, so I don't want to be repetitive. But it is really crazy how Lauren Conrad was –

America's sweetheart. Like seriously, we were obsessed with her and everyone who came for her, Kristen, Spencer, Heidi, we hated. Like she was a queen of America and I recently went back and rewatched and let me tell you, she's the worst character. She's so fabissina. Like she just likes Steven and like when it doesn't go her way, she's such a miserable, like sour puss fucking face. And all she does is like,

like brag about her parents new house and like invite people over to the new house like she rides the coattails of her parents house like her parents house is a character on the show yeah yeah it's being built for a season she keeps like inviting people over like see the construction it's like it's giving loser yeah yeah in hindsight big loser energy she is

However, it all worked out, didn't it? Yes, yes, it did. And they had just like a regular, degular, well, Laguna Beach style 20-year high school reunion. They shared pictures. Everyone was getting together. It's like they literally wore name tags. Like that's so crazy. It's also so crazy that they literally had like three and a half years of regular high school. And then like the last couple of months where they were filming that reality show and that was their senior year is what we all know. But they had a full high school experience.

Yeah. Yeah. I would love to... They should have had MTV there for the reunion to see where is everyone now? How's everyone doing? How did the show change your life? That's actually a really good point. And I feel like it was definitely something that...

came across the desk of MTV. Like, why wouldn't they? I'm sure nobody was willing to participate and that's why, but that would have been a great special. Yeah. How often does our high school have reunions? Cause I, I would be coming up on my 15th. They do every five, every five. Okay. My, my 10th was a zoom that I didn't join. My five. I went to me too. Everybody goes to the five because it's the first one. You're just out of college. You're still friends with everyone. Like it's a night out.

And then my 10, I was so excited. And then I got booked. Like I had a work thing in Canada and I actually, I actually asked them to move it. Cause one of my friends was on the committee and they were like, no. Um, so I missed it and I was like really upset. So I will be going to 15 whenever that is like in three, four years. I'll go to 15 if they, if they host something. Although I did hear about the 10 was that like significantly less people came. And that makes me really sad. Like everyone should go, even though I literally didn't, but everyone should. Yeah.

I think I don't think 15 will be a big one. I think 20 is the big one. Yeah. And if I remember correctly for my fifth, it was like really not enough time had passed. Like I remember we were sitting in like a classroom and it just like literally felt like a weekend. It wasn't it wasn't. No, it was like the Wednesday night before Thanksgiving. Like, hey, all. Yeah, it wasn't weird enough.

Yeah. You know? No, like now it's like I wouldn't recognize people and that's the vibe I want. Well, that is a phase of life that I'm in. Like somebody, oh, over the weekend I was talking to my sister-in-law's fiance and he was like, by the way, do you know blank? They had just met someone who I went to high school with. In my grade, it took me 45 seconds to place this person. Like the name just like, I couldn't, and of course, lovely girl. I remember her. It,

people and abel like say someone who we went to high school with and i'm like i seriously never met that person in my life it's also because we don't have facebook it doesn't that is true they're not like coming across our news feed yeah losing a facebook was that's why we need our reunion because people need to be able to keep up with us they they have no idea what we're up to we're so private you know we're so private we're not on facebook

I love that they shared this. I love that they all went and they seem to be on good terms. But that also means that Kristen's is next year. Oh, yeah. But her grade wasn't like interesting to me. That girl, Jessica, was such a messica. Like it was just Kristen. Jessica. It was just Kristen. Yeah. And that was Kristen's problem, too. That's why she couldn't stop hanging out with the older kids. Yeah, yeah, yeah. She'll go, of course. She was a queen then, queen now.

She's really been making waves on her podcast. Have you been seeing? I have. She has decided to give podcasting like her full attention. And she's kind of a born podcaster. She lives in a very interesting life, but she's also like smart and like well-spoken. So she's kind of built for this life. And she has a great co-host in Justin. So it's like perfect to bounce ideas off of. I love that for her. And it's a damn media production. Rising tides. Love it. Are you ready for our next story? Mm-hmm.

So Apple Martin debuted this weekend at the Paris debutante ball. I'm obsessed with the Paris debut. Yes. I was telling you all TikTok has opened my eyes. Last year was the first year I knew about this. It's this.

this really old school, first of all, debutante ball. I know they do that in the South, but like, it's really this outdated thing. But the one in Paris, it's like one of the remaining balls. And it's for like an elite, elite international group of gals. So they come from all over the world. It is the richest, the most royal people from, you know, famous families like Apple Martin, actual royals whose parents are, some of them are princes, princesses.

a lot of them like billionaires in Asia. It's such an interesting group. And if you looked at them, you might not recognize the women besides for like Apple Martin. But on TikTok, they break down whoever it is, who their parents are, what they're wearing, like their jewels. It's literally Marjorie Post. Like it's insane. Yeah. It's called Le Bal de Debutantes and Apple Martin. I feel like they could do better than that.

Went in a custom Valentino gown. She looked amazing. She's very beautiful. Her mom was there. Her dad was there. Her grandma was there. It was really a family affair. It was like her bat mitzvah. It was like her bat mitzvah. There's so much footage coming out of it, too. And I feel like they've very slowly been opening Apple Martin stores.

up to the public eye. I feel like she lived a very normal private life and now she's a certain age. I think when she turned 18, she did this like little Vogue spread. They've done it very slowly and very tastefully. I think it's clear that like she wants to do modeling or, you know, something. And so this was like kind of her coming out, her debutante and obsessed. She's very beautiful. I loved seeing the mom and dad and Blythe. A lot of people also didn't know that Blythe Danner is

Gwyneth Paltrow's mom. So when the pictures of Apple, her parents and her grandmother were people like, why is Blythe Danner there? A lot of people didn't know that. That's her Nepo baby. Yeah. Alliance. Obsessed. Just obsessed. And it's nice to see them co-parenting, you know, consciously uncoupling. They are very, they're being very conscious here. And that's always nice to see. Lily Collins also debuted at this ball. Did you know that in 2007? Oh, I didn't. And also, so did Scout Willis and Tallulah Willis, which kind of like ruins everything.

Yeah, I feel like it would be a little bit more like top tier than that. But I want to see Lily Collins at the debutante ball. She looks adorable. And by the way, the picture looks like it could have been taken yesterday. She's timeless. You're timeless. Oh, she's so cute. Yeah.

Oh, she's adorable. Oh, also Lori Harvey debuted there and Ava Phillippe. Oh, I could see both of them. Wait, I want to see Lori Harvey debutante. As did Billy Lord and Francesca Eastwood. That makes sense. Like the people who do come from Hollywood, it's not a lot, but it's people from big families. That's why the Willis's, it's really a lot, not about who you are, but who your parents are. So while like, yes, rumor Willis is, Bruce Willis is Bruce Willis and their moms to me more, right? Yeah, yeah, yeah.

- Okay, Lori Harvey. Oh, gorgeous. - Oh, and Margaret Qualley too. - Classic. Lori Harvey looks sick. This is like my favorite rabbit hole to go down and shout out to the girlies on TikTok who are like always doing those recap videos telling you who everyone is, what they're wearing and...

She's actually the first debutante to wear Valentino, which I guess was like a big deal. - And I think custom, custom. - Yeah, and of course the mother. I don't know why I keep calling her the mother. My best friend, Gwyneth Paltrow, she was also wearing Valentino. So it was a really pargy affair. I bet it was like-- - The mother, the mother. - I wonder what it was really like on the inside. Do you think it's a really fun event?

Yeah. Yeah. But I'm sure it's also like you have to remember that even though these people are like glitz and glamour, like they're still teenagers and they have their insecurities and drama and all of that. So I think it's like a very high stakes high school. Yeah. Event. I love it. Yeah. Really, really cute. That's like now a fun thing we can look forward to every year. Thanks, TikTok, for pointing this out. It's so true. And that dress was really pargy, like that blue. Yeah.

Yeah. Love. And she wasn't even wearing a lot of makeup. I mean, I guess that's what happens when you're like 17. But she's very beautiful. Very. Are you ready for our next story? Mm-hmm. Some almost casting news. I'm obsessed. That's pretty crazy. Judy Greer turned down an audition for Modern Family's Claire Dunphy because she didn't want to be America's mom. She said the role felt so limiting. Okay, by the way, like...

I could see the role was written for Judy Greer. The role was written for her. They didn't get Judy Greer, so they got Foodie Freer. Yeah, literally. She is so wrong for this. Does she stand by the decision? So this is, it's explaining, she revealed in a recent episode of the Dinners on Me podcast that she passed on an audition for the role of Claire Dunphy. She would have gotten it. She told host, who's Jesse Tyler Ferguson, who portrayed Mitchell, your fave, that

That Mitchell is not my fave, by the way. I know it was so annoying. Okay. Who's your favorite on modern family? Um, Manny. That's a really good, really good answer. Who's yours? I don't know. It depends. Gloria is up there. Um, none of the dump fees. They're all the worst. Like I like Gloria's husband too. Yeah, of course. Jay. It was either Gloria, Jay or cam day or cam Mitchell's husband.

Yeah, but like he gets bogged down with Mitchell's storylines. Because you can't watch Cam without watching Mitchell, so I don't want to watch. No, by the way, you can't watch Cam without watching Mitchell and watching Lily, who as she gets older, talks more, like is the worst character. So yeah, I guess like it's like the best family is Gloria, Manny, and Jay. And that's why they're the best characters. A hundred percent. Yeah. So Judy Greer said that at that point in her career, she was starting to play characters with children.

In a movie, people kind of see it and then they forget, she said. In a TV show, it's just like, you're a mom. That's it. She added that she didn't even want kids in real life at the time and that it was not even on the table for her. She said, I was like, I think I'm not going to audition for it. I was really torn about it, but I ended up obviously not. Who knows if I would have gotten it anyway. I know. You would have. I was just like, I don't know if I want to be America's mom yet.

Okay, well, good, because you didn't become it, and you missed out on a million dollars an episode for, like, what? They did over 100 episodes? Good job. Good job, Judy Greer. And I think Claire is the worst. That's one of the last shows that benefits from, like, rerun checks. Yeah, that and Big Bang Theory. It's, like, old school syndicate money. Yeah, like, set for life, but okay, you didn't want to be America's mom and be seen in this way. Okay, so go back to work.

Go back to work now. And also she did guest star on the show in the first season, like as someone's girlfriend. Oh, that's interesting that she in the first season. Yeah. Phil Dunphy's ex-girlfriend.

I mean, I love almost casting news and I feel like what's so great about it is that the person, you know, like it's like Harrison Ford could have been Jack in Titanic, whatever. And he ended up being Harrison Ford. So it's not a big deal, but he always, they always express regret. Like they're like, damn, I should have taken that one. Or I was wrong about that one. That's what's so funny about it. But like her kind of standing by that decision, like it was a bad call and just like, let's own it, Judy, own it.

Yeah, maybe like she regretted it later in the podcast episode, but this variety write-up, I'm not sensing the regret. Yeah, I don't sense the mistake. But I also think like when you miss out on something like that, like it's kind of what you have to tell yourself to sleep at night. It's so true. Because you can't live a life of regret. You can't. Right, because Judy Greer is famous, but she's not, you know, set for life famous. Right.

Right. That's why the story is like Harrison Ford almost, but he's still Harrison Ford, so it doesn't matter, you know? Judy Greer is still a working actor. Yeah. I love her. Yeah, me as well. She wouldn't have had to work

As hard. She wouldn't have to be in that weird Christmas pageant movie that I almost bought a ticket to but decided against. What's that? It's in theaters? Yeah. There was like before Wicked came out I wanted to go to the movies and there was like nothing to see so I almost bought tickets to like this. It's called like a Christmas pageant or something. She plays like a mom. And I didn't buy it because it didn't look good. I understand. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story? Our fourth story. Some podcasting news. Oh, always. Guess who's launching a podcast?

I mean, who is it? I actually like, it's not the usual because when I tell you this person, you're going to be like, Oh, don't they have a podcast slash? Why would they even want a podcast? And it's Oprah. Oprah's new weekly podcast will include interviews with Oprah's book club authors. So Oprah is expanding her presence in the podcast sphere. Um, Oprah,

That is cool. She also hosts Oprah's Super Soul podcast, which is why, like, she's... Oh. It's not unfamiliar to hear Oprah's name in podcasting, but also, like, she's had, like, a million TV shows. She's just in media. So it's not like we're finally hearing from Oprah. Yeah.

Yeah, but I do feel like aside from the redheads, like the Celebrity Book Club...

which is becoming really big and really popular, hasn't taken to the podcasting space yet. Like I'm surprised Reese doesn't do that. And I actually just talk about what this means for the redheads because she's kind of like coming for your neck. Yeah. She obviously saw the success. I think so. I think she saw that there's a, there's a space for it. The thing is, it seems like we're doing kind of different stuff here. So I'll, I'll let her do her thing. We don't, let me tell you why I like this.

I just read a book that was in Oprah's book club choice, but it was like a memoir of the person's life. So they talk in the book about when they met Oprah, not when their book made the list, but they met Oprah in their professional life. And they met, basically this woman became a ghostwriter, not a ghostwriter, but like an editor. And the person she was helping write a book was,

got chosen by Oprah and him and Oprah did like a little bit of a, um, press tour. And that's where she met Oprah. And Oprah's like really involved in the books that she chooses. And like, she gets to know, she took them out to lunch. She really did. It's not like, I feel like, you know, some celebrity book clubs, they just like choose a book and it's not like she really meets them. She puts a, not you, of course not. Um,

She meets with them. She like really champions them. She definitely reads the book. So I think that like this is actually a low lift for her because she's already meeting these people and getting to know them. And so like doing an interview, why not? I actually think this is a great idea. Yeah. It's a no brainer and makes sense. Yeah.

So also she's been doing her book club for 28 years as part of the first, that was like the first segment on the Oprah Winfrey show. She's a pioneer. Yeah. So this is cool. She actually walked so the redheads could run. Rising tides raise all sides. Do you think her and Reese hate each other? I think that they can convince themselves that they're different and cause they are different. They are. But, um, they're similar too.

Yeah. I guess Oprah hasn't gotten to the place yet where she's trying to develop any of these projects into movies or TV shows. And that really would be the competitive part. Yeah. Because you can have multiple book clubs. But like, I think a lot of people are copying what Reese has done or at least trying to. Who do you think picks better books? I don't think it's about better. I think books that appeal more to me.

are Reese's book choices. And I think that Oprah's are really serious. I think Oprah's book club reaches a little bit of an older crowd, like a bit more mature, more serious topics. And Reese's still like are swirly a little bit. Yeah. I don't think any of Oprah's choices are swirly. Like the one that in the book that I was reading about, the book that she chose was about prison reform. And then the other one was about the equal justice initiative, that guy, Brian. So like, it's really heavy stuff. Yeah. I want to see like a list of her choices.

I think that might have been the first Oprah's book I read. And also, I feel like it's a lot of nonfiction. Yes. Yeah. Which I like. Yeah. So I just, I think I gravitate more towards Reese, but that doesn't mean it's better. Speaking of, I'm reading our book for the Redheads. We're reading Shred Sisters. It's our last book of the year. Dana chose it. It's really good so far. I'm really excited. I'm reading a Redheads pick as well, God of the Woods. What do you think?

It's long, but it's good. Yeah, I feel like you're not reading it hastily. I'm not, but that has nothing to do with the book and more to do with the space that I'm in. The lifestyle choice. The lifestyle. Okay, calm down. I'm not smoking cigarettes. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? If it's our fifth and final story, that's brought to you by the GameTime app. GameTime has a new feature called GameTime Picks that makes getting tickets to your favorite live events even easier. GameTime Picks filters out the fluff to show you only incredible deals on great seats so you don't have to waste time searching through thousands of tickets.

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And welcome. Our fifth and final story, a little follow-up news to yesterday's lead story, Vanderpump Rules. Andy Cohen is addressing the bombshell casting change and said it's the absolute right thing to do. So Andy addressed... I mean, he's never going to say the opposite, but let's hear what he has to say. Right. He addressed the network's decision to replace the series' longtime stars with a new group of close-knit servers on Monday's episode of his SiriusXM show, Andy Cohen Live.

He said Bravo announced or word got out that they're revamping the show. And I have to say, this is first of all, the absolute right thing to do. He said he was so impressed that producers were able to keep the show going over the last couple of years, despite the main stars no longer working at CERN. I think what was more impressive was that they were still able to like connect it to CERN, not that.

they could do a show. Yeah. What was impressive was actually like the two or three years before Scandival, the fact that we still watched, that was impressive because that was seriously some of the worst television. Like the Charlie Danica, Brett Max here is just,

The end of Jax's career on Vanderpump Rules, it was just horrible. Yeah. I want to be compensated for watching that shit. I agree. He said the entire point of the show morphed and changed as it went on, and it wound up that James Kennedy was the only one with any kind of footprint at Sir because he was DJing there occasionally. Now he's gone on, and he's got a residency in Vegas, and he's having great success. And we're supposed to believe that he has a residency in Vegas, but he's going to fly to L.A. I actually...

Go DJ at a restaurant that doesn't even have a DJ booth. I actually do believe that he like does see you next Tuesdays or whatever, because like so many people come. It's great. It's like where he got his start. It's actually a good thing for everyone. But,

Explain to me, and I would love to talk to perhaps Diana or Guillermo, the managers of Sir, how they never thought to invest in a DJ booth. Like, the way they would throw James next to the bar on a pedestal, like literally with a laptop, no DJ booth. And See You Next Tuesday became like a huge event for them. It was just so lowbrow. To see his Instagram, like he's literally playing huge festivals, Vegas clubs. He's standing on a cardboard box at Sir. Like, it just...

It makes no sense. No, I know. You know where he wasn't performing? The Science Museum. And that one hurt. Oh, yeah. Yeah. That one hurt. Then he also talked about how cast wouldn't film together, he said. And then you have the others who don't want to be in the same room, much less on the same show with each other. And that makes sense, too. So what you were left with was really just a few pieces of what the original Vanderpump Rules was. So I think this is a very smart programming move.

He likened the shakeup to the Roni reboot. He said, in Roni's case, we had 13 seasons of a show that was so beloved and so great. And it went on and on. And sometimes for a show, it's the end of the road or it's time to curve or swerve or pivot. And that's where we were with Roni. And that's what's happening with Vanderpump Rules. No, they need to stop bringing up Roni because I think that- It's not a good example. It's not. And what they did with Roni was like,

They had experienced this with Atlanta, with Jersey, with Beverly Hills, with OC, and they weren't sure what to do with these franchises that had OG castmates, but that were kind of like at a standstill. So they took a risk and they did it on New York and it did not work. And have you seen them reboot any other of those franchises that I just mentioned? No, because it didn't work. No, and actually like OC is coming.

coming back from the ashes. And I think a lot of the answers for the future lie in the past. In the past. Bringing back thirsty, thirsty women. Bringing back like Tamra and Alexis. And that's why now my new philosophy is that sometimes someone needs a break and I don't want to see them anymore. And I'm like, I can't have this person on the show. But that doesn't mean that I feel that way forever. Like there is a time and place for them to come back. And I think that's what they need to do more of instead of wiping the slate clean tabula rasa. It

it's actually a brilliant point and there are so many women when you come to think of the New York franchise I do think that like getting rid of Dorinda okay actually no but getting rid of Dorinda was important I feel like she was kind of and people love her and I love her too but like she was the real core of the issue in the sense that like the women would get blackout drunk say the most horrible things to each other and in the morning not remember and not even really apologize so like

She really was like the worst at that. So I agree with cutting her out. But there are so many women. And then maybe in three years.

three years, bring her back. And then also I think people get like a little too big for their britches where like, this is, they think this is my show and losing the job for a year or two will teach you that this is a, this is a group project. It's so true. They need to be humbled. Teresa. Yeah. But when you think about the New York women that they could have brought back, like very Alexis Bellino vibes, because Alexis is really doing a very good job of shaking shit up on OC. Like, I mean, I don't, she would never, especially she's moved now, but there was a time where they should have brought Jill Zarin back. And it was like,

So obvious. She would have done it. And she was, if you ever watch those OG seasons, I rewatched them during COVID. She is a star. She is the reason that The Real Housewives of New York is a successful show. She was hysterical. Drama, even if you didn't agree with her versus Bethany, that was the first big, big drama on Real Housewives of New York.

There are so many New York women, especially a lot of them are a little thirsty, which is good because Alexis Belita is thirsty. You need that. You want the job. There are so many women. So I actually think you're 100% right. The OC formula, which I never thought I would say. They got some good new women like Emily and Gina. Like that was good. Everyone else who came and went, Peggy Sulhanian, like no. But they got Emily and Gina and then the bringing back of Alexis. They need to bring back Gretchen. They need to bring back Gretchen. They brought back Heather.

Yeah, it's a really good point. I'm trying to think who else in New York they could have brought back. Kristen Taichman? No. Carol, Aviva, Heather. Oh, oh, oh, oh. Heather. Well, they did briefly bring Heather back, and they did her dirty, and she left. Didn't go so well. Aviva. What about some Aviva? Aviva. I saw Aviva Drescher on the street the other day. Did I tell you that? I feel like you could tell me that on any day, you know? She's always on the street. She's always on the street.

Aviva. Aviva, Jackie, Carol. And actually, Andy just said, I forget, it was either on his radio show. Carol hates him. They had a come to Jesus moment. They had a big friendship mending conversation. Wow. So, yeah. I mean, those were the days, Bethany and Carol. Like, that was. Tinsley, even though she is so moved on.

I actually didn't think Tinsley was a great housewife while she was on. She was just a part of good seasons. So I like people think of her as like, oh, that was great. She literally left in the middle. She was always whining like a 16 year old. Like she was actually horrible. No, she wasn't a great housewife, but she was like living in that apartment. And she was just like, it was just chaos. It was chaos. And you want to root for her.

Yeah. But I think if they could do... Because they're definitely doing something with New Jersey. They don't... Margaret and all the women have said, we have not heard from production. None of us have contracts. None of us have been fired. But we don't know what we're doing. I think if they... They need to put some OGs on ice. And, you know, say what you want. Because I feel like it's kind of what we were saying with Lisa Rinna. Like, people like Margaret are necessary for this show. Yeah. She is. And she has...

kept this show which for a couple of years has been on a little bit on ste on uh what do you say when you're on shaky ground fumes fumes uh she has breathed new life into it and i know some people you know don't like her she ruffles people's feathers but look where that got us with lisa arena like bitch come back yeah yeah so we just need a breather

And Beverly Hills is on tonight, so we'll both watch and recap tomorrow. Yes, I'm all caught up already, so we will do that. And we'll also do, we're crushing time, by the way. Like, just absolutely crushing. Oh, yeah. Not a worry in the world. We have Dear Toasters, and we can relax and just ease into Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment, where every Tuesday, Jackie and I will take three submissions from the swirlies who wrote in to us. They're in trouble, and they need us, and we're going to do our absolute best to guide them through it with sound of mind advice.

If you ever want to write in, you can, of course, do that. Email us, deartoasters at gmail.com. Or head on over to our website, thetoastpodcast.com. Scroll down a little bit. There's a submission box. Both ways are totally anonymous. There's not one way that'll get you on the show more than the other. They all end up in the same inbox. Do not worry. And if you've also written to us recently and we've read your prompt on air and you have an update for us, we would love to hear from you. Sometimes you guys just, like, leave us hanging and it's, like, kind of rude. So if you have an update, please let us know. Are you ready, Jax? I am ready.

Hello to my favorite ladies. I'm in dire need of your help. I have been dating my boyfriend for a little over three years and he's been nothing but amazing. We hardly fight. We get along and we just really trust each other. The other day we were drinking and I asked him, so is there anything that I don't know about you? Like, have you done anything crazy that is, I guess, you know, concerning but interesting at the same time? He started laughing and he took a deep breath and he told me that he slept with his stepsister who was absolutely gorgeous. I love her so much.

Okay. So, I just... Yeah. It...

I'm only concerned because you're like, it seems like your takeaway here, like the thing you're most upset about is that like, you know, this girl, you trust this girl and that they did this thing behind your back almost, but it wasn't behind your back. Like that they've had this secret that they didn't tell you about. Not the fact that he slept with his stepsister and stepsisters. You don't share a parent. This is so like murky. It's gross. But Claudia, Sharon, Josh, and we all loved Clueless.

Okay. Sharon Josh is when they when Sharon Josh got together their parents weren't married at the time. They had been married previously. Yeah but that's just like due to the age the timeline of everything like that wouldn't. And by the way we love but we also talk about how fucking weird it is. I just feel like if you're gonna sleep with your step sibling you have to marry them. That's the only way. No I'm sorry. You don't just like hook up with. Jackie I'm sorry the rule is that you can't sleep with your step sibling. No but like say two people's parents are getting together and then like the kids kind of like

get romantic and wouldn't it be cute if everyone got married? It's only cute if everyone gets married. So, I don't know. Like, the thing is, he didn't do anything wrong. I don't have a step-sibling. I don't know. Like, legally, it's fine. You know, more like...

Genetically, it's fine. This is just really fucking crazy and not something that most people have to deal with because it's a family. Most people can't sleep with a family member. No, of course. And by the way, there are different levels of step-siblings. Let's say your mom remarries someone while you're in third grade and you live in the same house as a brother. Of course. If you're all grown-ups and you've never lived in the same house together, I understand why it's less weird, but I really will not just sort of sweep up.

how weird this is. Like, Claudia, it's so weird, but like, of all the people you can sleep with. Here's the ultimate question. Is this a deal breaker? Literally, she's describing a perfect relationship. I'm sorry. This would give me the ick. It's so, it's so uncomfortable. But it doesn't sound like she's even that upset about like the incest-y vibes. She's more upset that like,

There was this secret that she didn't know. She feels like a betrayal. That's the vibe I'm getting. It's both upsetting because say he slept with his stepsister at one point, but the parents were no longer together, so he never saw her anymore. Like, okay, that'd just be like a weird... Yeah, exactly. A weird, interesting kind of crazy fact about him. No, but they are still together. But they are still together. So it's both. It's the fact that he slept with his stepsister, but also the fact that they're still together and so she's always around. I'm having a really hard time not pressing my break up with your boyfriend button because...

There's good stuff here, as Steve Brady would say. Now, let me ask you something. Say that this is the unfortunate truth and things happen and, you know, things happen. OK, should he have ever told her? No. Is this something he should have taken to his grave? Yes.

And don't ask questions you don't want answers to. Yeah, let's go back to the whole... What was the question she asked? Yeah, it was crazy. It was crazy. Tell me something really disturbing about you so I have the ick about you for the rest of my days. That's what she asked. Is there anything that I don't know about you? Like, have you done anything crazy that is, I guess, concerning and interesting at the same time? You were asking literally for him to say this. Like, you almost knew that he fucked his sister and you wanted to know. I love how we're blaming her, but like...

Of course. Keep your head in the sand. Jackie, I'm only blaming her because I seriously don't know how to guide her. Like, this is so crazy. I don't have step siblings. I actually don't even know people who have step siblings really. So like, I don't know much about this. Um, we have a half brother and that's different because we share a parent. Like that's, yeah, no, I know. It's disgusting. Um,

I don't know how to help you. I seriously, this is just, okay. Maybe if I don't press my breakup with your boyfriend button, I'm pressing my, I'm sorry, I can't help you button. I'm sorry. I'm going to, I'm going to press my like,

Giving grace and holding space. Wow, that's really mature of you. She's describing a perfect relationship. I could see watching a movie about this and watching the parents get together and then maybe the young son and the young daughter, a lot of late nights, and they hook up. Ooh, awkward. But they don't mind. I could see liking it in a movie, so I'm going to have to hold space.

But I'm sorry to you. I'm just having a hard time, honestly, not judging everyone involved here. Like, it's, I need to recuse myself from the steer toasters. I am not thinking clearly. That is so unfortunate. And this is just a warning to everyone. Don't ask your partner to share a concerning but interesting facts about them. Yeah. It was such a specific question. Like, you knew he had relations with his sister. And I guess if you never picked up that vibe before, that's good.

Yeah. Well, you know this now. And Godspeed to you and your whole family, honestly. Okay. This one's really crazy. Hey, Swirlies. This past Thanksgiving, my husband and I announced our pregnancy. When we broke the news to my mother-in-law. Like two days ago? Yes. Okay.

Wait.

wait, my husband told me that I needed some self-reflection if I had a baby just to post on social media. Oh, okay. I was outraged. I didn't understand that sentence. Yeah, it took me a second to, but her husband said something really fucking rude. My husband told me that I needed to self-reflect if I was just having a baby quote to post on social media. Like that's all I care about essentially. Yeah. I was outraged and I told him if he would treat me like that, he could stay with his mom and he's been there for three days.

Girl, stand your ground. These two are nuts. And honestly, as long as people are- So the picture that she posted was her and him in the sonogram.

No, I think just her, the sonogram and her holding her belly. Listen, everyone who sees that picture on her feed is just going to like everyone can see she's literally showing everyone like how crazy she is. No, I'm sorry. I think that like when it comes to mother-in-law like antics, you do give a little bit of grace for like her being, you know, an elder and having respect, of course. And I think that this is one of the things like you don't bite your tongue on. This is insane, by the way, like fucking crazy ass behavior. Like this is behavior of somebody who belongs in an institution.

Yeah. Having sonogram pictures with someone else's baby. I don't care if it's your grandson. Like, it's fucking crazy. No, it's so crazy. But she's exposing herself. And, like, you've got to pick your battles. And, like, seriously, you cannot stress over everything when you're pregnant. Like, de-escalate. Like, protect your peace. I know. But the fact that she's. The world is seeing her. Like, what is she. Like, everyone can see. The fact that she spoke up to her husband. And her husband took the mother's side. And now is staying at the mom's. Well, that's an issue.

You need to – you can't give in because the point is so large and needs to be made. Yes. Yeah. Like, your husband should 100% have had your back. That's really crazy that your husband has been leaving you for three days and you're pregnant. I don't want to look too much into it. Just – No, but don't give in. No, no, no. You're not wrong. Like, if you just need us to tell you you're not wrong, like, that is so crazy. But you also need to protect your peace and lower your stress levels. That's all you can do in this situation. That's fine. So, like, maybe you should have –

with just the photo shoot like understood this crazy bitch for what she is and just moved on but the fact that you voiced a concern to your husband and he ended up literally leaving the house and staying with his mom like such toxic behavior and he needs to learn before you have kids like i'm the number one bitch in this group not your fucking mom yeah so he could stay there for as long as he wants just know you might be lonely but he's staying at his mother's house and his mom's fucking crazy so you will last longer than him do not give in agreed but remain calm

Remain calm, of course, of course. Protect your peace. Yes, your toast is just stressing me out. Yeah, turdy, protect your peace. It's not good. It's not good. It's not good. Oh, man, some people are so fucking crazy. By the way, you're 100% right. Yep. Okay, ready? This is also a really crazy one. Hello, Swirlies. My boyfriend texted me in the middle of the day recently to let me know that he'd made a huge sale at his job. He asked me to get dinner that night at our favorite place to celebrate. We had a great dinner. I asked every detail about the sale, congratulated him, told him how proud I was, etc.,

As we were waiting for the check, I told him a story from my day at work. I work in a hospital and the story involved a sick patient. His demeanor immediately changed. He leaned back in his chair, crossed his arms and became instantly cold. He asked me if I was going to finish my drink so we could leave. I asked him if I'd done something wrong and he said that I, quote, sucked the energy out of the room and he told me it was, quote, poor etiquette to bring up a story like that at a celebratory dinner.

He asked if I would have told the same story if we were celebrating my friends getting engaged. He literally won't let it go. He keeps using the phrase poor etiquette and I am so embarrassed. Did I do something wrong or is this a red flag? Run fast for your mother. She said boyfriend. Yeah. Okay, run. It's time to start fresh. You know what this is? You know who I immediately thought of? Who?

This sounds like something like Zach Bryan would do. It's on the surface like, okay, whatever. But it's so manipulative. Yeah. And it's so interesting.

Like you did literally nothing wrong. Okay. First of all, you made one sale. You get promoted. Like what? I see a child that the mood has to be up here for an entire dinner. Like we can't just like have a conversation and agreed. Claudia, you made a sale. We're celebrating the sale, but you're not the president. Like calm down. Stop. Other people had days to.

Yeah, and like a part of a celebratory dinner is like you still are having dinner. What do people do at dinner? You talk about your days. Right. And how long can you seriously wax on about one sale? Like...

It's definitely not a whole meal. If two people got engaged, would you share this? That's different. That's a group of people. Like the two of you are having a conversation. You're in a relationship. You're sharing your day. That's different than dinner party conversation. Yes, perhaps a story about a sick patient is not dinner party conversation. I just want to say like your partner telling you that you suck the energy out of the room. Like that's not a normal way to be spoken to that. Like,

No, and to say that's not normal. To say that it's poor etiquette. If someone like went on and on about my poor etiquette, I'd have to stop them right there. Like, okay, I didn't marry Emily Post. Good day, sir. No, I'm sorry. I'm pushing my break up with your boyfriend button. Like, this is really crazy. And I feel like,

- Either he's like a really crazy boyfriend and you have other stories to tell us, or this is the beginning, like he showed us really quickly, like that he's fucking crazy. I would run for your absolute life. Like he does not sound like a good boyfriend, a good partner, I'm sorry. I know I say that all the time. So like it loses its meaning, but you absolutely have to go. - I'm pushing my, this is a red flag button, evaluate the rest of the relationship. - Okay, that's good too. - And you know.

You, dear toaster, dear reader. Suck the energy out of the room. That's so fucking mean. That's so crazy. While she's like placating to your dumb ass all night. You made a sale. Like it's so fucking stupid.

Yeah. No, when she said that, I thought he got promoted. I'm like, okay, that's a big deal. Like that we could talk about. He made one sale. Like how infrequently are you making sales? Isn't your job sales? What did she say that he does? Maybe he's like a realtor. Maybe he sold like a, she didn't say, but still, if you're a realtor, like selling a house is huge, but like it shouldn't be like, it doesn't mean we can't talk about the rest of our day.

By the way, if you're a real estate agent who goes out to dinner every time they make a sale, one, either you're broke because you go out to dinner all the time, or two, you're not a very good real estate agent. It shouldn't be, if you work in sales, it shouldn't be a huge monumental deal to make a sale. Yeah. Yeah. So I hate breakups. I'm concerned. I'm concerned across the board for the toasters out there. We knew post-Thanksgiving was going to be a rough one, but honestly, I have a pit. Yeah.

Yeah, me too. I'm just picturing the mother-in-law like having a sexy photo shoot in her backyard with a sonogram that isn't hers. Just think about what the people on Facebook think. Like at worst, they think she's pregnant. She's having a geriatric pregnancy. And at best, they see what you see and what we all see. Yeah. Do they though? A lot of themselves are probably mother-in-laws themselves. And like this is crazy ass behavior that they would endorse. So just like just protect your. Let the crazies crazy. Protect your beast.

We made it. We totally crushed this time-wise. You're going to head to the airport in style. We have so much time. We could even sing our Pardee song. I just want to sing it all day long. I love to go and sing that Pardee song. It makes me so happy I could smoke a bong. But I won't because I'm with child. And that's against the law and I obey. I obey.

Keep sweet and pray and obey. You guys, thank you so much for listening to the Toast Millennial Morning Show where we deliver the fastest stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give us a thumbs up. We're also available as podcasting where podcasts can be found on Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iOttawa, KS, Fox, all the places where you can find us. We're a five-star review about how beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are. Love you. Oh, Claude, let's try one here. Let's just say maybe the curtain is our secret charm. Okay. I feel like maybe we did it. I always feel that way. Okay. Love you. Bye.