Sexiest Man Available: Wednesday, November 13th, 2024
01:08:15 Share

Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to The Toast, and happy Wednesday, a hump day, which makes sense because Jackie and I are dressed like a bunch of camels today. We've got two humps on this hump day. Turnie and I are twinning. Lovely lady lumps.

I actually you and I are the two humps because we're both twinning in camel and it's a big day you guys it's merch launch day so our fall merch shop that we've been teasing all week finally launches today 10 a.m so it's already out and the website of course is Hermes.com it's shoptoastmerch.com our big collection this is like our final collection like big collection for the end of the year so usually we do uh December one but we decided to do this one like more autumnal collegiate vibes so we're going to do a big collection

So if you're wanting to get someone something for the holidays, we have hats, we have bags, we have sweatshirts, we have sweatpants, we have t-shirts, we have cardigans for the very first time. - I feel like such a broken record 'cause about everything I'm saying, like this is my favorite thing we've ever launched, but then I'm saying that about everything, but I mean it truly. Like the cardigan, the tee, the camel logo, the girly swirly university where I got like a five-star education and then gargi-pargi, I can finally wear that across my chest.

- It's a beautiful thing. - And a couple of housekeeping things, shall we? - Oh, we're gonna clean house. - We get a lot of questions about sizing. Jackie and I both wear mediums. If I was just getting the crew neck, I would probably get a large so I could do like oversized with leggings. But when I wear it as a set, I like it to be more fitted. So if you're getting the whole set, I would go your regular size. Everything really runs true to size. The t-shirt, the girly t-shirt in white is meant to be fitted. So if you're looking for like a looser fit, I would size up again. But everything really runs true to size, that's first.

I just noticed I left the refrigerator open. Like, am I okay? You left your refrigerator running. You better go catch it. Can we close the refrigerator? If you like an oversized tea, like what we've done in the past, there is a girly tea in the shade mushroom that is... It's toasty. Oh, sorry, toasty. In the shade mushroom that is oversized. And the quality of it is a little bit thicker than what we launched in the spring because it is...

fall now so it's a little bit thicker stock also wanted to note that because we we really try not to do most of our drops we do pre-order so everybody can order exactly what they want nothing sells out um that does mean that the lead time for shipping is a little bit longer so it says four to five weeks right now um

But you'll be able to get everything you want. You won't have to like, you know, be crying because you're getting like a size you didn't want or an item that you wanted sold out. So just keep in mind four to five weeks and you can get whatever you want. So that's great. Nothing's going to sell out. We're going to close the shop in a few days, but you have time. Yeah. So...

Head to shoptoastmerch.com. Merch week is the best week because we finally get to wear all the stuff we've been working on. I don't have to think about what I'm wearing. That's it. And we look amazing. That's it. Like not having to think about outfits. And I guess that's what it's like being a kid when your parents would like lay your clothes out for you. It's, I actually don't even know if I realize like what a burden it is on me.

Especially because like, you know, we are on camera and everybody's like, you know, it does hurt when everybody's like, Jackie looks great today. And I'm just like, okay, now I'm a big piece of duty. No, it really hurts when they're like, slob. I...

I know what you're saying. Well, I mean, yeah, but it's, it's, it's tough. And then the day, some days I'm like, I'm stepping my pussy up, I'm dressing up and like, then I feel so stupid. And I find that I look better on days where I'm just cozy. Anytime I get dressed up, I feel incredibly stupid. Like on Friday's episode, actually didn't even get to talk about this, right? I had to run out of the toast because I got an opportunity. There was like a meeting being held with the president of Israel. I got to meet the president of Israel. I actually have like a picture I need to post.

So I got dressed up, I was wearing a really nice stod sweater dress, boots with the fur, heels. I felt so stupid, we're sitting here talking about Brianna, Chicken Fry, and Zach Bryan, and I'm literally going to a business meeting.

No, there have been some times where I do something in the morning that requires me to wear a dress or look nice. And it's like, well, why not go to work looking so nice? Because why take it down a notch? And I just look so stupid in my chair with my headphones in my dress that I never want to do it. I often feel like the more put together and fancy I look, the worse my performance is on the toes. Oh yeah, you do feel that way. My level of comfort is parallel with my level of funny. It's just...

All's to say that's probably why this week has been amazing toast-wise, amazing looks-wise. Plus we get to twin, which I love to twin with my twin. Yeah, me too. My twin flame, Turdy. You're so positive today, and I want to be on your level. I snap my neck in my sleep, which is... It's been happening to me a lot in my older age. It always happens in my sleep. So it's like I go to bed happy, and I wake up, what happened? Yeah. And the way I want to seriously...

snap my own neck and just like kill someone. It is so, like I can't even talk and I'm so animated when I talk. I can't do my thing. - You can't yap as the kids say? - I can't yap as the kids say.

I'm really sorry. I've been there so many times. It's the worst thing. I do believe that our beds are too soft and we like, human beings are like meant to sleep on the floor, you know? I know. And Ben was like, well, tonight you'll have to sleep with no pillows, yada, yada. And I'm like, why? It's not going to help it get better. There is a certain amount of time I have to suffer before. Like, it's just nothing I do is going to move it along. Like, it's just probably two, three days that I have to suffer and then I will be better. And I can spend those two, three days icy hot sleeping on the floor or

I could just live my life and it'll be the same amount of time before I feel better. We're not meant to sleep on the floor. You know, there's grass. No, Jackie, they say like when you really throw out your back, you're supposed to sleep on your dining room table, like flat hard. Oh my, but this is something that we've known for a while. It happens to me every few weeks because my bed is just too soft. And one day I will deal with that. I have so many other things I need to deal with that. Like it's just, I love my bed. It's not a priority. Oh yeah. And I love my bed.

Yeah. So last night I told you I'm very much like in my cable era and I decided to do something a little crazy. I know what you did because you actually FaceTimed with me last night even though you haven't been FaceTiming with me. Yeah we're checking out kind of like working through a little family issue meanwhile I had to talk to your husband I had such a terrible dream about him like I need to make sure he's okay I feel like my dreams are actually like really connected with what's going on in the world I feel like maybe Zach needs to talk to me about something like.

The issue that Claudia and I are having is a scheduling issue because she's been watching a lot of TV with her husband, which is like beautiful for your relationship. You watch Harry Potter, you watch Gilmore Girls, like it brings you together. But when he's watching with you, like he doesn't let us FaceTime. And like literally he has a timer on. The other night he said, I begged to get five questions in. And I didn't even, and he said yes. And then I didn't even get to ask five questions. So I've definitely felt like Jackie and I aren't communicating as well as we once did. And last night Ben was out to dinner. Jackie and I were on FaceTime for like two hours. Doing nothing like.

He thinks we just like, it's a need to have conversation. No, I just want to like be on the phone with my sister. And so we've come to the conclusion that my husband is driving a wedge between us trying to like, you know. Just watch Harry Potter. No, trying to definitely separate us. Like.

thing is I don't think the intent is bad I don't think he's trying to separate us I think he just wants to watch his show but he doesn't understand like how important like he you know what he said he said screw sisterhood well it's so important to note that if Ben and I were watching something and he took a phone call like from anyone it's different it's different I would say it's not sister are you fucking kidding me no let's say let's say it was his sister let's say Maddie called I would say sisterhood

That's his sister. It's brothers and sisters. Okay, true. Different. I would say get the fuck out. Like I would seriously be like. It's siblinghood. Are you crazy? It's sibling revelry, if you will. It's sibling revelry, if you will. I know. I understand like the concept of interrupting. Like it's annoying, but this is my life partner. Like my business partner. Scram. Seriously, scram. He doesn't. So if you guys have been feeling like a sort of tension.

On the toast that Jackie and I aren't as close as we used to be. That's why. Or maybe it's actually the opposite where we do all this nonsensical catching up on the toast because we don't get to do it at other points of the day. I actually agree. But wait, so you were on FaceTime with me when I decided to make this decision last night. Because I've been watching Jeopardy every night. It's kind of becoming like my new favorite thing. I feel so smart whenever I get an answer right. Like it's just really...

It's kind of one of the highlights of my day. And then I just leave the TV on and Wheel of Fortune. I watch passively. It's really so dumb. Like I can't. Okay. And I just want to say I'm not into Ryan Seacrest and Vanna White. Like it's the old and the new. We either needed to get both of them out or both of them in. Like it's wrong.

But then Dancing with the Stars was on at 8 o'clock. And I was like, all right, you know what? Like, I'll watch it. I'm always talking about it, like, peripherally on the toast. Maybe I could know what I'm talking about. Now, I'm not going to be able to know what I'm talking about because I found the show, like, so impossible to watch that I was on my phone the entire time. But I did catch, like, glimpses of things here and there. Yeah, she was talking to me. Yeah. And I just have a major critique of the show that I have to share. Because we're at the place where, like, there's fewer people left and everybody's scores are getting better. I think there's a point in the show when, like, everybody's getting, like, 8s, 9s, and 10s.

And I'm gonna single out Danny Amendola, but it was happening to everyone, okay? So this is not like a statement on Danny Amendola's dancing career.

He got a 10. Just make an example out of him because he can take it. Yes. And it's emblematic of the entire issue. And I'm new to Dancing with the Stars. I really never watched. So I'm sure you guys know this, but I didn't. But like, I didn't know we were giving out 10s to amateurs. Like that was not a 10. A perfect 10 means there's no. I'm like, right. He was so stiff. And like, yeah, he like didn't forget any moves. He did everything right. I was like, are you kidding? A 10? Like how low is the bar? I was so shocked. And I was like, this show is not serious. It's not a serious show.

I understand. And to be honest, and I have said this before, first of all, if anybody wants to know who I think should win, it's Dwight Howard. But that's neither here nor there. It's so easy for the men. And by the way, there's mostly men left. I think it's two women, Chandler and Alona. Pommel Horse Steve. Chandler. I actually don't know her. She's like this very beautiful girl. I've never seen her before in my life.

Disney? She's a Disney. Okay. But then there's Pommel Horse Steve, Joey the Bachelor. Rome has an ancient vibe to it. Old school vibe. Old school vibe. Dwight Howard, Danny Amendola. So it's mostly men. It's so much easier for the men to get a perfect tan. Like all they have to do is properly lift the girls who are three pounds and they're professional athletes. Dwight Howard can lift this girlie no problem. Like it's actually...

It's not an equal playing field. You don't think it's harder for men to dance in general? Well, it depends on the man. Sometimes a man comes on and you can tell they seriously have no rhythm. And honestly, if Dave Portnoy ever went on Dancing with the Stars, he would be out first. And they released a bunch of bloopers from him recording his...

And it was exactly as I thought. The man has no rhythm. The person who wrote the song had to literally repeat every line to Dave and he had to copy it exactly. He could not stay on beat. If you have rhythm, like I do, you have to watch. It's infuriating, Jackie. Like, he can't...

ZB Go, like he was. That is so funny. It was a very funny clip, but some people have rhythm and some people don't. And I think that like you could tell like the gymnastics guy, you have to have rhythm to do those routines. White Howard totally like can kill it at a bat mitzvah dance floor. Like he has rhythm. So if you have the basics, yes. But some people, I think that's gender regardless. Like if you don't have rhythm, like you really can't dance. I agree with that. So everyone's been wanting me to watch Dancing with the Stars. And you know what? You got what you asked for. I really didn't like it. Okay. Like.

Oh my God, and I don't know how you guys put up with like, I forgot this thing about cable. It reminded me of the Bachelor, like how they play with you. Two hours. - That's so crazy. - Two hours, so many commercials. And then they did like a pop-up challenge where like everybody did their performances and I was like, we've literally been here, there's a whole hour left. What are we gonna do? Surprise!

Here's your category, go plan a dance. I mean, so like they all had five minutes to put together a dance and choreography and like come back. Like it was so color war. It was so stupid. - Yeah, I was gonna say it's like camp and not in a good way. - Yeah, right. - Like I don't wanna watch someone's camp on TV. - So I feel like I cabled a little too close to the sun, honestly. - I'm sorry for you. I continued not finished reading my Frida Rita. - Frida Rita.

- And the fact that it's taking me this many days tells you everything you need to know because a Frida is a 24 hour read. - So I think there's something happening with Frida. I experienced something the same where I was like, it was the only books I wanted to read. They were so quick and easy. They were adding to my count. And then you get one that's just like seriously bad. And you're like, how did I, Frida too close to the sun. Mine was, I forget what it was called, but it was about this like coworker who goes missing.

Interesting. So I'll finish the book and like, it's, it's, it's fine, but I'm looking forward to moving on. Maybe reading, maybe reading what you suggested. The Many Lives of Mama Love, Oprah's book club. Now, if you're going to read it, here's something I only figured out after that I feel is important. Like to the story, it's all the many lives of mama love. And the author is Lara Love. So it's her story. I didn't realize it was like a memoir. It's kind of, it's like memoirs of a mama. It read like a fiction book. Like, okay. I kind of like,

- I kind of like that. - Yeah, and Oprah's actually in the book. It's cool. - Yeah, I think it'll open. - I like it. - And now I'm on my prison reform shit. It's one of those books that opens your eyes to the system. - Interesting. - Kind of how Demon Copperhead, after I read that book, I'm like, "Child and Family Services is disgusting. "This entire system for kids who are growing up in poverty." It's disgraceful. - Big pharma. - Of course, it's built to destroy the lives of these children. Honestly, they have not helped one person in their life. That was my takeaway from Demon Copperhead.

You will have that same takeaway from the prison system from this book. Oh, I could see that being a rabbit hole. She's like one of the few who actually got out, like by her own sheer will and determination. Like demon. Like demon, yeah. So yeah, that's just like kind of what we do here at The Toast. We talk about the government agencies. Yes.

We go down a myriad of rabbit holes. The government agencies are very much in the news. They are. Wait, also, I was going to say, run of show, we have Dear Toasters today. But that reminded me that yesterday, you know, Jackie and I feel really bad that last week or whenever it was the week before, we forgot Dear Toasters. And we know that the community was outraged with us. We received death threats, backlash. Like, we heard your cries. And we won't do it again, we promise. But to make up for it, we recorded an entire 45-minute podcast and video episode.

episode exclusively going through dear toaster submissions it's on our patreon and we just do it every every few months on patreon anyway it's just if everyone loves a little dt we wanted to give back to the community and we did and it's up on our patreon right now yeah and we'll do we'll still do don't worry this week segment don't worry don't worry even though we actually have like like really good stories today plus

The big celeb news of the day, finally. SMA. So I actually feel like, and you know I'm the last one to say it, I actually feel like we should make haste and get into the Fast Five stories that you need to know. And the Fast Five stories that you need to know are brought to you by Good American. Good

Americans always fits jeans are a total game changer. So whether it's a big lunch, a few drinks with friends, or even that time of the month, their jeans will fit like a dream no matter what. They stretch perfectly to your body, giving you room to move and breathe without ever losing their shape. You're going to feel confident and comfortable no matter what the day brings. It's like they were really made just for you. Like good Americans commitment to being comfortable and stylish is why it is like a

always a go-to destination for me. Like whenever I'm doing a big haul for like a new season or I'm going on a trip, I always go to Good American. Like the commitment to making clothes that like you see on the runway, but affordably and comfortably, like it really can be everything I own from Good American. I absolutely love.

And they're really obviously known for their jeans and their new Always Fits jeans are really game changing. I find jeans to be, it's like I have a very complicated relationships with jeans and I'm always looking for like hacks, whether it's like jeggings or like waistband jeans. I'm really always looking and Good American is such a great place. And the Always Fit jeans are a total, total game changer. You're going to love it. Obviously, you know that Good American was co-founded by Khloe Kardashian and our favorite guest shark, Emma Greed.

And they've just basically been on a mission to redefine fashion with inclusivity and comfort. And they've created denim that feels as good as it looks, catering to all bodies, shapes, and sizes. They have super inclusive sizing. I think that's what they're really known for as well. They go from 00 to plus size 32. So from skinny jeans to boot cut, high-waisted to crops, they've got you covered. Shop now at GoodAmerican.com. And you can use our promo code TOAST for $50 off your first pair. So don't forget to select podcast at checkout when you choose our show to let them know that we sent you. Our promo code is TOAST.

Today's episode is also brought to you by Skylight Frames. So holiday seasons are fabulous, but we're always missing, you know, me and Jack are not going to be together. Like I'm missing you. You're my swirly. Like it's sometimes hard to not be with the ones that you love during the holiday season. But if you want them to be a part of your festivities from afar, well, introducing the Skylight Frame. So the Skylight Frame is the perfect gift this holiday season. It is a digital photo frame. I feel like we've talked about it for a while. Um,

It's so sweet, actually. You and Olivia both put yours in your kitchen, which I think is so smart. And every time I'm at your house, I love the slideshow, seeing the kids grow up. It's so sweet. It's a great thing, obviously, to have for yourself in your house, but it's a really great gift to give to someone. You can add new photos straight from your phone to the frame, whether it's the frame that you

you know, you have or someone else's frame. It only takes a tap on your phone to send new photos to a frame across the country. It's the fastest, easiest way to keep loved ones in the loop. The touchscreen is a game changer. You can swipe through the photos, tap to see new photos. There's a heart button that says like a thank you to the sender. It really looks beautiful in your home. It's an HD resolution. You can choose from five different sizes and styles.

There's two sizes, 10 or 15 inches and five frame styles. You can set it up in portrait or landscape mode. So it's super customizable. They have a satisfaction guarantee. They are so confident that you'll love the skylight. They offer free 120 day returns.

So now as a special offer, they are giving our listeners $20 off your purchase of a Skylight Frame when you go to skylightframe.com slash toast. That's S-K-Y-L-I-G-H-T-F-R-A-M-E dot com slash toast. Get $20 off your purchase now at skylightframe.com slash toast. Today's episode is also brought to you by Blue Nile. What a year it's been. A lot of you guys have a lot to celebrate, a lot of things you want to give yourself credit for, and it feels good. Like we were just saying, Jackie, this November we accomplished two of our major dreams, like

Dream making needs to be commemorated with jewelry. That's just my opinion. And it feels like a good time to step back, take a look at your life in this moment, and commemorate it with something beautiful, something sparkly. If you're thinking about buying jewelry, there's no better place to do it than Blue Nile. That was actually really good advice when I turned 30. I was panicking, and Tinks was like, buy yourself something really nice to commemorate. It's a good thing, first of all. It's a privileged age. And also, commemorating big moments with a piece of jewelry, you'll never be unhappy. So whether you're looking for a bit of...

sparkle for yourself, giving a holiday gift to your swirly sister, Blue Nile offers some of the highest quality standards in the industry at prices significantly below traditional retail. So maybe you're thinking of finally springing for that piece you've always wanted. Maybe you're just

Thinking of what everyday piece will make the most impact on your outfits in 2025? Well, if you have questions about what to get, Blue Nile's jewelry experts are on hand 24-7 via phone or chat. So from technical questions to budget suggestions, they're here to make you feel confident about every purchase. And speaking of, you also get 30-day returns and a diamond price match guarantee. You can't beat the ease and convenience of shopping Blue Nile or the selection. They've got thousands of independently graded diamonds for you to sift through. Either those gorgeous like multicolored

hoops from Blue Nile. They're one of my favorite pieces. I wear them all the time. You can tell when you buy jewelry when it's well-made, and Blue Nile really is. So go to BlueNile.com to shop Blue Nile. It's the original online jeweler since 1999. That's BlueNile, N-I-L-E dot com, BlueNile.com. Thank you, Dr. You're welcome. Our first story, the big celeb news of the day, finally. People's Sexiest Man Alive has been announced, and it is...

John Krasinski. Now, I heard two things about this that I feel like ruined my take on it. So I want to get your take and then I'll read the two things that DuMois posted that really shook me up. Okay, I think this is a great choice. I think that it covers like People Magazine's

while also being like objectively a good call, pretty relevant. And I think everybody really likes this guy. And that's coming from someone who like actually hasn't fallen into John Krasinski lore. I don't watch The Office. I don't watch Jack Ryan. I don't watch A Simple Place. Zach Ryan? Objectively, he's a good looking man. A Simple Place? A Quiet Place. And Cody Simpson's getting a CMA award. Correct. Objectively.

Objectively, he's nice looking. I know people really love him. And even though I'm not even a part of it, I think this is such a great choice. So I can only imagine how people who love him feel about this. Okay, that's a good take. Now, Dumas posted- What was your initial take? I didn't, I literally saw the announcement- You didn't get to have one? Via this Dumas thing on Twitter. Like it was the first thing I saw when I woke up and there was two blinds that she had read. I'm shocked at what you could say that could ruin people's SMA.

Well, the first was that, FYI, Glenn Powell was aggressively courted for Sexiest Man Alive and he turned People Magazine down. He joins the ranks of Ryan Gosling, Jason Momoa, and Keanu Reeves in terms of stars who have been begged to be Sexiest Man Alive but who have absolutely refused. Okay.

Then this is the blind that like really made me like question everything. Okay. This A-list actor who was starting to fall from stardom was willing to pay millions of dollars to be quote chosen as 2024 sexiest man alive. He knows that people are losing interest in him and he thinks that spending the money on the title is a good investment in gaining back momentum for his career. I do not believe that. Okay. Like, because if that's true, that's just like the nuttiest thing I ever heard that really- I didn't know you could pay-

I don't think, I don't believe it. I just want to say like, and John Krasinski is not my fave, but I'm going to trust your guys' fave because he literally says in the article, like he immediately blacked out when he was told he's going to be people's sexiest man alive. Keep in mind, these are actors. Like they are deluded. I know, but like, I don't,

I mean, I know people bold face lie to your face, but until I can confirm that they've done it once, like I do give people the benefit of the doubt and I've not seen John Krasinski to be a liar. And I also don't agree with that blurb that like he's waning from public interest. I think he's doing just fine. And I think he's like,

at a level where even if he's not doing public outings and things like he's always eternally famous. He's at that level. Now, let me like really strip back and give you my thoughts. Like I'm not offended by this choice whatsoever. Again, he's not my favorite. I actually don't particularly think he's like good looking, but I know there are people who like to eye for Jim and Pam and Jack Ryan and all that. So again, I'm happy for them. I,

And I think I feel this way often about People Magazine. Like, they always just make, like, a... It's, like, so obvious, you know? Like, do something crazy. I think it should be a little bit obvious, though. Yeah. For what this is. I don't know. Well, they do, like... You know what? Never mind. I'm not going to say that. Who would have been, like, a crazy...

I don't know. I even think like Jeremy Allen White would have been a crazy choice because he is like still kind of niche. He's on one show. He's not niche. He's not niche. We are just used to People Magazine choosing men over 40. He would be the youngest person to ever be chosen.

I also think that's a good precedent. I don't know. Like maybe we could also have a different publication do like... Maxim, sexiest. Hottest guy. But like, I like what People Magazine does and I like that they don't stray too far from it. Like it's an older, more established man. Everybody really knows them. It's interesting to me that...

People magazine is not ordinarily a publication stars at this level would ever sit down for an interview for. Now, a lot of them make an exception for the sexiest man alive thing. It's Glenn Powell. Actually, Glenn Powell yesterday or maybe this morning was announced as a cover star of Vanity Fair with like the Jonathan Bailey, Nicole Kidman, like the big movie stars of this season. And so it's clear he's like really in a different stratosphere and he's on this

of like Hollywood movie star. We haven't had like a real male movie star in a while. Like that's what he wants to be very like Tom Cruise back in the day. So I can actually see him turning this down. And I do feel like perhaps there was a time where John Krasinski would have said no to this, but not anymore. Yeah. I think he's at the right place in his career as the sexiest man usually is because it's more of a,

Sunset season. That's yeah. A sunset season. And I understand why Glenn Powell would have said no, if that part is true, it's a little too like commercial and corny. And I know he wants to be taken seriously. And there is like, there is something lovingly corny about Glenn Powell. And I don't think he wants to do like more of that. Like he's, he's all set. He wants to win an Oscar. Like, and I think that that's the route he's taken. And that's not like a commercial thing. Like you don't do big shows.

People magazine spreads when you want to win an Oscar. Like, you're a very low-key artist. You know, don't talk to me. Yeah, so I think, and of course, you know, if this is just about sexiness, period, he's not the Adonis, the, you know, scientifically the sexiest man. He's very good looking. It's an unoffensive choice. It appeals to a lot of Americans. And it's a good choice. I think it's a really good choice. It's a good choice.

- Not a really good choice? - Well, the idea of like what Dumas said, like him begging and paying for this, like makes me cringe. So that's like the only thing ruining this for me. - Okay, but do you think there's a possibility that it's not true? - Of course, of course. But like, I'm only seeing it through the lens. - Dumas said something else this week that broke my heart.

What? That Ariel Frankel was out on a date with gobbledygook. With what? Who? I don't know the person. Matthew Ray Goobler. Oh, but you don't know him. He's from Criminal Minds. He's like everyone who does that. I don't know who that is. Gobbledygook. Oh, okay. So if you don't know who gobbledygook is, then like I could see how that would upset you because I know you want her to be with that other Jewish character from The Bachelor. Having said that, like he, people are obsessed with him. He plays, um,

what the hell is his name in Criminal Minds? Like people are, I love Criminal Minds and I love him. And like, I totally get the, there is an obsession with this guy. And I don't even know if he's ever publicly dated anyone. And now his first sighting is with Ariel, Jewish queen from The Bachelor. Like I'm actually not upset about it at all.

Okay, I'll be let's- It's a huge pull for her, if true. Okay, even if it's not true, the fact that they're associated, like it's just really great for her. I want greatness for her, so I will support her. I just am going to be mourning like the shithole that never was. Yeah, no, I totally get you. But I'm glad to know that he's worthy of our swirly. What's his last name? Gobbler? Matthew Gray Goobler, G-U-B-L-E-R.

It's a blueberry gobbler. I do believe he actually might be Jewish. Oh, my gosh. OK, this is great news. Matthew. Let me look. Let me look at him with a keen eye now. He's really cute. He's super cute. Really successful. Huge. Like people are obsessed with him. Oh, he's in your favorite movie, R.V.?

Wait, what? That's what's coming up. Who is he in RV? I don't know. That's what came up on Google. He does look familiar, but I've not seen anything that he's been in. He's really from Criminal Minds, like, and that's it. Okay. Oh my God, yeah, he's the one who helps them with the septic. I fucking love RV. Okay, it all comes back to RV. Yeah, he's really cute. I'm happy for her. And Jackie, he's Jewish. Does that change things for you? I accept. It does change things for me. It does. Yeah. Yeah.

I just want greatness for her. I'll support her in anything she does. Let me tell you, I know this is like a blind spot in your pop culture knowledge. I can tell you like it's a really good thing for her. Okay, great. It would be like, I'm trying to make a comparison that you would know. I don't know, but just have faith in me. Like this is amazing. Okay. Yay. Yeah. Like,

There's like Jeremy, while it was nice, he's not like the only Jewish guy out there, you know? No, I know. But I just love the idea of like the bachelor. Of course, of course, of course. And they had that video together. I thought that was like a hard launch. I thought so too. No, she was spotted with the goobs. What did you call him? Gobbledy goop. Seriously, top five funniest things you've ever said.

Matthew Gray Goobler. Okay, I'll book it. Yeah, no, he's one to watch. She's one to watch. And so I asked Moses, he's one to watch. No, that's a good one. So hopefully either all of the things that you said are true or none. Like it's so hard to know. You really have to use your judgment. Yeah, I

I think some things are true and some things aren't. I'm going to give John Krasinski the benefit of the doubt here. Maybe he doesn't deserve it, but I'm going to give it to him. And I just want to say, I can see a world in which they would have chosen him like he wasn't begging or paying. Like I can see, it's not so out of the realm of possibility. Not at all. No. And he doesn't seem like the kind to be like so obsessed with how relevant he is. Like he's made a lot of money. No, like they're painting him out to be this huge loser. He has this huge show on Prime. He...

It's being made into a movie. I heard. He's also like, you know, part of an A-list Hollywood couple that everyone's obsessed with. Like there's relevance in that. I don't think it's true. Okay. But thank you for bringing it to the discussion table. It's very important. My pleasure. Are you ready for our next story? Yeah.

About one of our favorite couples, Olivia Munn, is sharing a lot about the early days of her relationship with John Mulaney to GQ. I mean, for some people, the early days of her relationship with John Mulaney is like the most important thing in their lives. Like, because the timeline, you know, there's a lot of... No, and they're going to be like seriously sat for this. Yeah. Because she's admitting that she barely knew John Mulaney when she got pregnant. They weren't even dating yet, she says.

She said it wasn't anything close to dating when she found out she was expecting their son, Malcolm. Quote, I barely knew him. She talked to GQ because he is on the cover of Comedian of the Year for GQ. And she talks about how they got together again in 2021. She said at the time he was looking for an apartment in New York City after splitting from his ex-wife and Olivia referred him to a friend and they began talking again, at some point developing a more intimate relationship. I just want to say something. I'm sorry.

because this is harking back to a conversation we had when we were talking about the Grammys like and I think John Mulaney's amazing you guys know like I love him and I think he's really successful I don't think he was the comedian of the year like these arbitrary titles and that's what I was saying about like comedy like the new world of comedy has like a lot of catching up to do to like the OG it's like a very old school type of thing and so if you're not like you know on the road like the whole podcast and special I feel like is not like Shane Gillis was the comedian of the year you know

- Yeah, well it's GQ. This is their men of the year issue. And then like in the comedian category, it's John Mulaney, but he also got the cover. I think we're gonna be, we have to just accept these things because we're getting into the list time of year where like- - I know, but I hate when the lists aren't accurate. Like it really bothers me. - To me, this isn't the worst choice they could have made. Like it's not- - No, but was it the biggest year for John Mulaney? No, I feel like he was literally in hiding. He had a second kid. Like what did he even do? - Didn't he put out a special this year? - I don't think so. - Not like "Abilities of Prison." - No, that was "Baby J."

John Mulaney special. You saw him at the Lighthouse. That was really big for him. Yes, and he had said he really hasn't done much this year. Oh, he did that Netflix is a Joke festival that they televised for Netflix. He had a little late night show where he had people come on. I agree with you. It was called Everybody's in LA. Yeah, okay, I'm sorry. Not to be a stickler for the lists, but it just goes without saying, if we're taking a look at this year at a glance, Comedian of the Year for Men

- It wasn't. - Yeah. - Sorry, continue. - So she said that she was excited when she told him that she was pregnant. However, she added, "It wasn't necessarily we're going to be married and live together or any of that, but it was, I will be involved in some way." She initially assumed they would simply co-parent their child while she lived in LA and he remained in New York. However, the two would talk every once in a while or he would come visit her throughout her pregnancy.

At the time, he was fresh off of his rehab stay after relapsing during the pandemic. Before that, he had been sober for 15 years. She said the two seemingly grew closer throughout her pregnancy as the exciting arrival of the little one was the only thing that made him seem light and happy. She said, I remember he was really excited to tell his parents, I was watching someone newly sober at the edge of a cliff and I didn't know him well enough to help him.

Wow.

- Oh my God, so cute. - So cute. And then he announced that they were expecting their first child after their relationship was exposed that spring. So it's just like so crazy that all of this came out and like they really barely knew what they were even doing. - Well, I think that like this actually, it does make sense. I didn't envision it that way. I thought that they decided to have a child together.

And then for all the girlies who can't move past Anna Marie Tendler, they're like, well, he never had a kid with his wife of 10 years. And so actually this is congruous with the person we knew him to be. Like kids was not in the plan. And of course it happened and it's like, you know, a happy accident and it's beautiful, but it actually, I think makes Sean Mulaney look very good. It's not like he just didn't want to have kids with Anna Marie. Or that he lied to her. Right. It really was not in the cards for him, but obviously accidents happen and this was a good one, but yeah.

I actually think this is really a good Luke for Mr. Mulaney. And it's a good lesson in trust your faves. Well, that too, but it's also a rom-com. I'm just picturing it and...

it must've been very scary for him to like, you know, be newly sober and then also find out that you got someone pregnant. Like, yeah. And to be fresh out of a long-term relationship. Like I imagine this time was actually very dramatic for him. Like that's a lot to be going through all at once while also trying to stay sober and in a new relationship, leaving an old relationship, baby on the way. It's a lot. It is. The more I learn about these two, even the way she's describing, like how, like it really sounds like a book. Like,

- I also feel like people had painted this picture of her where it's like, she knew what she, she had eyes on him. - Harlot. - Yeah, like went right for him. And it's like, no, even when she got pregnant, she didn't expect that they would be together. - She definitely got like classic woman, you know, like the Jezebel label. - Like the womanly wiles. - Right, like she actively pursued and got herself pregnant. Like they definitely, I think like the haters,

Definitely pain. And they really, for years, they've said nothing. And this is just like a random anecdote, but it's really like a window into how they got together. I mean, even if how they got together wasn't as cute as it sounds, like I ship these two so hard. Like I think they have such a beautiful life together and I think they're perfect for one another. Yeah. Not everything happens the way that you plan it. Yeah. Yeah.

Actually, what's that quote? Something I was just reading. Man plans and God laughs. Yeah, that too. But it was also like life happens in the... Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. I know the one. While you're making plans or something. Yeah, no, but it's like life is what happens during... It's probably highlighted in my Kindle somewhere. During the things that you didn't expect. Like it's obviously more succinct than that, but like... No, it's so true. And like look how they ended up. Like another baby, they have a family of four. It's so sweet. Yeah. They are married, correct? Yes.

Yes. It's so sweet. Like I truly love these two. Me as well. And I like them both so much individually. And they sort of came to me on their own. Like I never, I feel like before, while he was married to Anna Marie, like everybody was obsessed with John Mulaney. He's the best comedian. Claudia, Claudia, remember when we were just doing a list of people that we don't care about separately, but together we love? Yeah. Were we talking about them? No, because I'm saying actually now I care about them both so deeply independently of one another.

At one point though, I didn't. I feel like the world tried to get me to care about John Mulaney and I was like, get away from me. Then the world turned on him and I said, oh, you're interesting. Come here. Yeah. But that's always what happens. Like I only really start to like people when they have a fall from grace. Like, cause when, when, when you're university, universally beloved, like,

I'm like, okay, whatever. I don't need to invest in you. Oh, people hate you? You're interesting. What'd you do? Come here. Yeah, but also it's like how you deal with it, right? That builds your character and toughens you up. And shows people who you are, really. Yeah. Yeah. And shows yourself who you are. Yeah, same with Olivia Munn. I mean, she was like, we said, like painted out to be this like absolute harlot.

whore of Babylon if you will and no I did my own independent research she's a queen and now everybody loves her because of her skims campaign and her breast cancer journey but it's like I liked her before where were you yeah I liked her before where were you where were you are you ready for our next story that's interesting to me um it's a little Outer Banks drama I

Oh my God. Okay, I'm familiar. And the annoying thing about this is that I'm in the middle of the most recent season. I think I have a couple of episodes left. And the drama has spoiled it for me. So I just found out what happened. Okay, I am all caught up except I didn't watch this most recent season yet. But I think I could do it without spoiling except maybe you'll realize that two people...

get together, but that's not a major spoiler to like the actual show. No, no, no. Someone's leaving the show. Yes. I won't talk about that. Okay. I won't talk about that. But Outer Banks, the new season just dropped and two of the stars are feuding so badly that apparently they couldn't even film a hugging scene together. Now, when I read this, I thought it was going to be Chase and Madeline Klein because they dated so publicly. But they have maintained like that they have a friendship. Kelsey Ballerini follows Madeline. They're always leaving comments on each other.

So I was like, oh my God, is that fake? But no, it's not about those two. And if you have been following the lore of, if you're like obsessed with Outer Banks, then you know all this. But most people are not like diehard Outer Banks stans. Like they just like the show. No, like I watch every season, but I don't follow them on social media. So it's about JJ and Kiara, who actually in the show date, and I think many years ago at the beginning of the show had like a brief something. He is now engaged to somebody else.

And she is in a relationship as well. So rumors are continuing to swirl. I believe with a woman. Yes. Oh, interesting. Rumors are continuing to swirl that they've had a falling out. A source exclusively tells people that they are not feuding despite ongoing speculation. Okay, sure. A couple things happen. One, eagle-eyed fans noticed that in one scene in the new season, the two of them are just like sitting next to each other, cuddling at a bonfire. Yep. And the way that the scene cuts

Like you don't see the two, both of their faces at the same time making it seem like there was a body double for each of them. - No and-- - Because they couldn't be holding each other. - Because the man is taller, there's a scene where it's like just him and she's like hugging him down below so you see the top of her head and it's literally not her.

Yeah, no. It's not her. I saw the headlines before I saw the actual clip and I was like, oh, they didn't want to film a sex scene together. Like, okay. Yeah, understandable. Could be a lot of reasons for that, especially if they're exes. But no, they couldn't even just wrap their arms around each other. And so this has been like a fan theory for years, being like they hate each other, they hate each other, they hate each other. Because also there was a cast dinner in June 2023, which was attended by...

The guy who plays JJ and his girlfriend. And then Kiara and her partner, Mariah. Yes, a woman. And in the wake of the dinner, they both reportedly unfollowed Rudy's girlfriend. Yes. So the rumors are that like, and by the way, Rudy is now engaged to this girl. So the rumors are that like Rudy's fiance is like really jealous that he used to date. Is Rudy?

Is Rudy, yeah. But like she is really uncomfortable with the fact that he still actively works with and has romantic scenes with his ex and she's very threatened. And they're really putting the whole thing on Rudy's fiance and she forced... What you're going to say next, just don't say. Okay, okay. So like she's the reason for all of this, which I feel like is such a convenient theory. I agree. We have no proof and up until this point we've really had no proof besides like Instagram stuff. But now the stunt double like being exposed...

It's definitely giving a lot of credence to these rumors that have existed for many years. That's really crazy to me if that's what it is. Like that's really immature, especially because of Madeline and Chase. And I also feel like just to the storyline, like they could also break up JJ and Kiara. Like they're not germane to the storyline. Them being together, not like Sarah and...

and John Jay. John Bay. Yeah, and to be honest, I actually would be for that, and it would make sense in the storyline because I felt this way last season and this season even more so. I cannot watch this show because of JJ. Like, he is the most reckless, out of control, worst friend, worst character, worst treasure hunter. Like, the fact that he's alive. Worst treasure hunter. And then this season, like, something happens that really pisses him off, and it's wrong. You know, he gets wronged by the rich people.

And what does he do? He burns down downtown. He starts a riot. He starts looting. He's literally, he sets fire. And it's all local businesses, by the way. So it's like, you're not hurting any of the rich people. He beats up policemen. He destroys police cars. I'm like, wait, he really, he became like an anarchist. And that's what I was like, seriously, Ben, I can't watch a show. I can't root for these kids anymore. Like they're anarchists. Like at first it was like, yeah,

fuck the man and like the rich people. And I was like, yeah, yeah. Yeah. Now they're like defacing public property, beating up policemen, like burning down local businesses. I can't, I can't. The show is so crazy and it gets to a point of ridiculousness, but there is something about it.

- It's got heart. - It's got heart, like it sticks with me and every time there's a new season I do wind up watching it. And it was one of my like Sir Claus shows last year that got me through a really painful week. So for that, like I'm riding with OBX. - You'll have a hard time, like your moral compass will come into question this season. Me and Ben were looking at each other, we're like, what the fuck? Like they took it too far.

Jackie, like everybody's rioting. There's like a police hunt for JJ. I'm like, okay, we have seriously Outer Banks too close to the sun. Oh my God. It's really crazy. Okay. I'm older. Yeah, like taking a baseball bat to the windows of the pharmacy, the store, like local owned businesses. I don't know what he was trying to do. Like literally taking a bat to the electrical poles. Like he literally shut off all the power downtown. Yeah.

It was really crazy. And I can't explain like he, they go to this town hall because like the rich people are stealing from them and whatever they lose. And it's wrong. The rich people are being wrong, but he starts beating people up. So he gets thrown in a cop car. Well, uh, John B takes a bat to the cop car window. JJ runs, takes the bat and burns down downtown. Like it's these kids are actually now the villains understood. But now knowing like that spoiler that we won't say, are you going to keep watching?

Like Ben was really into it. And like, I don't know. I really, I couldn't like not. So they released it in two parts. The first part, like the first four or five, maybe six episodes. I actually really liked. Okay. The second part, I was like, these people have lost the plot. Okay.

So I don't know what my future holds with this show. Okay. Well, I just thought this was really crazy. That like went really viral its first season. I feel like every time that happens, nobody really watches like the second or the third season. But no, it's this really strong fan base. And it's because like these four young kids, or five, six actually, they're beautiful and they're always like taking really good photos on Instagram. And like people are obsessed. They travel to Outer Banks and watch shows.

them film like it's it kind of has like that Gossip Girl sort of fandom also like Riverdale and I think they said next season of OBX is going to be the last season so it'd be like total five or six seasons which is similar to Riverdale yeah and then everyone like wants to go do other things right well I think that like then people on TikTok are comparing it to Ray J Jean-Paul

- Okay, but why? He only did one season. - Right, but like leaving a show that like made you famous for like other opportunities and people are like worried that the person who ends up leaving, I won't say who it is, like might have that sort of Ray J. Jean effect. - I could see that. - Because what in the world happened to Ray J. Jean? - But he couldn't even do season two, like that. - I know, but it's extreme. - This person left, this is season four.

Yes, out of five. It's different. It's more so of a Marissa Cooper. I'm still waiting for that Ray J. Jean big project to drop. Like what did he? Big secret project. Yeah, he couldn't film Bridgerton because he had this big opportunity. What was it? I don't know. That will go down in history as like one of the worst choices ever made. Yeah, I hope he has like new management now.

I don't even know what happened. Oh, you heard Chapel Roan split with her management. I did because of Chapel Roan. Because she was mad that someone wrote about it. Therefore, people were writing that she was mad. And I don't know if I wrote this. Bill Ward posted about it on their Instagram. Like, new article on our website. Read about Chapel Roan. And she commented, you guys suck for this. Like, girl, calm down. It's literally their job. Yeah. Chap gonna chap. I don't know what else to tell you guys. But she keeps out chapping herself. Yeah. Yeah.

But because now she's getting to things that are like truly indefensible, like with the paparazzi, like nobody's ever going to take the paparazzi side. So we're like, yeah, chap, go chap. But it's like independent journalists like leave them alone. Well, they're not really independent journalists, but it's not like being mad about everything. This is no, it's like it's the system. Yeah, it's the industry. So you're in the wrong industry. And I'm not saying the industry is right for the way that it operates. Right. They think she's going to change it from the inside out with her for this and a put up a chap. Go off queen. If you can, can.

Are you ready for our next story? What number? Number four. But we have Deer Toasters. Yeah, I'm ready. I'm ready. Some crazy news, which is that Travis Kelsey's Kansas City mansion was burglarized of $20,000 in cash during the Saints game while Patrick Mahomes' house was hit 48 hours prior. And to be clear, this just reminded me, the sexiest man alive this year is Travis Kelsey. Yeah, but the thing is, he would have never sat for that interview. Of course. It should have been Jason Kelsey.

Love that too. But like if we're talking about like accurate lists. Yeah. Sexiest man alive of 2024. It's Travis Kelsey. I agree with you. But there's so many politics in the list and I get that. Yeah. Burglars reportedly targeted Travis Kelsey and Patrick Mahomes' mansions in Kansas City last month ahead of their matchup against the New Orleans Saints.

According to a police record obtained by Page Six on Tuesday, the burglary at Mahomes' estate was reported by a bodyguard just after midnight on October 6th. It's unknown what, if anything, was stolen from his home. He was notably out celebrating Travis' birthday the day in the hours leading up to the burglary. So, I mean, that's literally the house he lives in with his kids. Like, that's so scary. Yeah, it's unclear if anyone was home during the break-in, and then less than 48 hours later,

Travis's mansion was also broken into around 7.30 p.m. shortly after kickoff against the Saints. You know what's crazy is that they live in different states.

Wait, what? One of them lives in Missouri? Patrick lives in Missouri and Travis lives in Kansas. And they probably live five minutes from each other. That's so crazy. Now, this is probably one of the worst parts of being a public figure, especially like an athlete. Your schedule is literally out there for the world to see. Everybody knows when you're at training camp. And so it really makes you a target for things like this. And I think that there's really only one celebrity who's got security down pat and it's Miss Taylorina Swift. And she needs to hook up

with her guy. Yeah. And Patrick. You don't think that she had? I don't know. Well, he did just move into that new house and she's like, if she's going to spend time anywhere, it needs to be like completely clear. So yeah, I don't know. This is just like the worst feeling. I know nobody feels bad for celebrities because they have like all the money in the world and like, you know, $20,000. It's not about what they stole. Maybe they stole something, you know, sentimental and that's irreplaceable. But like such, I've never, God willing, God willing, Baruch Hashem, Baruch Hashem, bite my tongue a million times. I've never been burglarized.

But I know people who have, and it is the most... Violating. Like horrible. It's not about the things that they took ever. It's about the fact that even if you were home, if you weren't home, somebody was in your fucking house. Like that's a sense of peace you can never get back. Yeah. And I know people who have moved because of it. So I don't think the $20,000 is going to cripple him financially, but the sense of peace and then also like Taylor's not going to feel comfortable. Yeah. Like that, it just, it really offsets your entire...

Sense of peace. Yeah. I hope they catch the people who did it. I feel like there's never enough like energy. Yeah. For like.

I know the boys who did it. Right? Like, I feel like, especially when we report with like a lot of the celebrity homes in LA, like there's, and we're always reporting those sorts of stories and it's never like caught the thieves. I know. I think that's why like the Alexis Nyers trial was as big of a deal as it was. It was like the first time because it was this like organized ring. It was the same couple of people doing everyone's houses that it was such a big deal. And it got such attention, not only because of their reality show, but like they made a movie of it. Like, because it's,

Who the fuck? Like, who's doing this? Right. Right. Now, I think it's there's a difference when somebody steals from you. Like Alexis Nyers wasn't a dangerous person, you know, but the the group of men who burglarized Dorit's house with guns like, yeah, that's different. And they never caught those guys. No. Like, it's actually so crazy. Yeah. Yeah.

Are you ready for our fifth and final story? No. Is it our fifth and final story that's brought to you by State Farm? It is. Thank you so much to State Farm for sponsoring today's episode. We know that our listeners can agree nothing feels better than a personal win. Like when you get a final piece of furniture delivered to your apartment and your home really feels complete or you hit a best new record during a turdy run. Perhaps you're training for a 5k. Whatever small, big, simple, complicated win that you have, it deserves to

It deserves to be celebrated. Like maybe you're a toaster who managed to stop for a much needed iced coffee but still made it to work on time or you didn't make it to work on time but nobody noticed. That's a huge win as well. Perhaps you found a new pair of jeans that finally fit or you fit into an old pair like from high school. Whatever it is that you define as a win, it calls for celebration. And who's cheering right beside you? State Farm. Because with the State Farm personal price plan, you can create an affordable price just for you when you bundle home and auto.

So celebrate by breaking out the confetti and those happy dance moves. Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with the personal price plan. Now, what's also great about State Farm is they are for all toasters, whether you're like a slower toaster like Jack's. Perhaps you want to talk to a State Farm agent on the phone. Maybe you want to go to them and talk to them in real life, whatever that's like. You can do that.

But if you're like kind of a fast paced, bright lights, big city, you know, fast moving girly, you can like turd over here. You can talk to a State Farm agent on their app or their website, like really whatever method of communication works for you, they will adapt to. So talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, I can confirm State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer. Availability, amount of discounts and savings. Eligibility do vary by state. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there.

Today's episode, yeah, no, you're good. Today's episode is also brought to you by Peloton. Peloton has the convenient and varied instruction that you might need to get your tushy off the couch. Now, what do we know about Peloton? Everyone's obsessed with the bikes and the instructors and love. They have one in my gym and I have a subscription and it's probably one of the best tushy

I've ever done for myself. But even if you don't have the bike, a lot of people don't know that they have tons of classes that you can use at a regular gym, whether that's on a treadmill, floor exercises, you have no equipment. So they have a variety of training programs like Pilates, boxing, marathon prep, strength training, boot camps, yoga, meditation. There's so many different ways to challenge yourself. And when I was getting into running, I really wanted to do Peloton workouts

workouts, but I thought I needed like the Peloton tread, like the actual treadmill, but you don't. Like I was just using the one at my gym or out on an actual outdoor run and their guided walk slash runs really helped me get into running. Like I didn't know how to run. I didn't know like that people, I thought everybody was just like able to run for 30 minutes at a time. No, you have to like really train yourself. And so the walks slash runs,

slash hikes on Peloton really saved me. And they also just have amazing music, which is like really half the battle with getting through a workout is having good music. So challenge yourself or don't. They have classes that challenge you to try new things and push yourself like marathon training. But they also have a variety of classes to help you relax like walks and meditation. So find your push and find your power with Peloton and head over to onepeloton.com to check it out. That's one peloton.com. Today's episode is also brought to you by Primal Kitchen.

Let's talk about real food for a minute. We all know that we should be eating more real nutritious food, but really who has the time to make everything from scratch, including like your sauces and your salad dressings? Well, definitely not me. And some of us don't even have the time to read or really actually the energy to read every single label at the grocery store just to avoid sketchy ingredients in our food. And if we are, it's going to be the big things, you know, not the salad dressings, not the condiments. And that's why we love Primal Kitchen and their condiments. It's a secret weapon for making real food taste amazing. So

Their original buffalo sauce is probably one of their best-selling products. It's got that Goldilocks level of heat, not too hot, but still super flavorful for wings, dips, roasted veggies, even just a drizzle on your scrambled eggs. It's absolutely delicious, and it pairs perfectly with Primal Kitchen's no-dairy ranch dressing, which you can also use as a marinade. You can also use it in recipes for a chicken skillet recipe, chicken

Even their ketchup, like their unsweetened ketchup. I'm obsessed with ketchup. I actually saw Matthew McConaughey on podcast talking about how he's obsessed with ketchup. And I was like, that's literally me. I'm like a ketchup first person. And you know, I like the OGs and I really was not open to trying Primal Kitchens, especially because it's unsweetened. And I was like, you know what? I'm good. Like, I'm really good. But let me tell you, you guys, it

it tastes the same. It tastes so good and it's so much better for you. It's made with real California grown tomatoes, no corn syrup, cane sugar, or artificial sweeteners. So if you're all about real food but you need a little help making it exciting, you need Primal Kitchen condiments and sauces. They've nailed the perfect combo of high quality ingredients and delicious flavor so your meals will taste as real and homemade as it gets. So head to primalkitchen.com slash to toast to save 20% off your next online order with code toast at checkout. That's

primalprimalkitchen.com slash the toast code toast they are also available in stores nationwide so visit primalkitchen.com slash toast to find a location nearest to you thank you Jackie what is the big story I just want to say also kids love ketchup and like you don't want to be giving them all that sugar I use the primal kitchen ketchup for the kids and like they like they love it and it's no sugar thank you so when I'm talking about myself like I'm obviously also talking about kids you guys know we have we're on the same level our fifth and final story is a story that I hate

Oh my God, it's a story that she hates? Lena Dunham will be writing a Sam Bankman-Fried movie for Apple and A24 based on the Michael Lewis book Going Infinite. So Apple and A24, an early development on a film adaptation of Michael Lewis' book Going Infinite, The Rise and Fall of a New Tycoon, with Lena Dunham attached to write the script. So this is about Sam Bankman-Fried, the founder of FTX, the cryptocurrency, the youngest billionaire, et cetera, et cetera. Yeah, I've done like an amazing thing for myself recently.

And it's that I really have carved out like a media blitz on Lena Dunham. Like I am never like seeing updates on Lena Dunham. I really, I do. I don't think there are a lot of updates. No, I know that there are like peripherally, like she does work and she was, you know, at fashion week. Like I have completely carved out a world where she doesn't exist. And like that is,

Is on protecting your peace. Yeah. No, this is doubly bad. Like Sam Raikman freed yucky. Like we don't need it. Like let's stop making movies about criminals. Like it just incentivizes people to do crime. Yeah. This was like a really crazy story. And I also feel like. It was hard to understand. So a movie is going to become digestible. Yeah. But it's going to be insufferable.

Yeah. And it's what's so amazing is living in a free country. Like I will not be watching this movie and you can't make me. Yeah. No. Like you literally can't make me support. I won't. Who should play Sam Bankman Freed and why should it be Ethan Slater? Oh, that's an amazing call. I was going to say Jesse Eisenberg, but maybe I'm just like thinking small like Facebook, like, you know. Yeah. Like to like he already did his tech movie. Honestly, though, it's like who's like a nerdy, curly headed fuck like.

And of course, like hair and makeup. It would be nice if we could just like visualize. Let me think. Let me think. Hold on. I'm sure people will say like Jonah Hill. But no. He doesn't have that energy, that vibe anymore. And Sam Bankman was so young, like curly haired male actors. We could wear a wig, but. Adrian Grenier. Okay. It's like if I were an actor, even though there's probably a breakout role, like I wouldn't even want the, like that people would think I look like that. Okay. He's obviously like far too old, but.

at the time like if he was the right age like kind of like a Will Ferrell totally do you know what I mean yeah honestly I think Ethan Slater in a wig Timothy Chalamet I'm sorry obviously that's the answer don't do that to Timothy but that's the answer I feel that is the answer okay well um those are your fast I have no other thoughts like cool me neither me either there you go bye um the

the day is far from over because it's dear toasters day. Every Wednesday, Jackie and I do our advice segment. It's called dear toasters and we are reading real submissions from real listeners and you can be one of those listeners. If you want to send us a submission, you can do it to one of two ways. You can email us of course, simple to your toasters at gmail.com. We'll keep your name totally anonymous. And, or you can go over to our website, the toast podcast.com scroll down. There's a submission box there. You can write whatever your heart desires. If you've written in and you haven't gotten on air, either you're, um,

Submission is uninteresting or it was far too long. So try and keep it concise. Like, need to know information, okay? Mm-hmm. All right, first up. Hey, Jackson Turd. I got engaged to my PJ back in March and I couldn't be more excited. We started to look at venues in our area, but we haven't found the perfect one yet. I did originally want to get married in spring 2025, but I'm fine with pivoting to the fall because of the...

A lot of the good dates in spring are already taken. Summer's too hot for us. When I mentioned this to my fiance, he said, it's not a good idea to get married in the fall because of football season. He had the nerve to say that I can't get mad if people come to our wedding and are on their phones during the wedding, watching the game, or even refuse to come because of football. I plan on having an amazing band. So hopefully everyone's like on the dance floor enjoying. He's crazy for suggesting this, right? I really don't want to wait till spring of 2026. Please help. Do not wait till spring of 2026. The good news is, is that if this is true, then it's a universal issue. I think it's...

I mean, there's a chance that during the reception, people would be on their phones watching football. Those aren't the people who are going to be like lighting up the party anyway. It's not worth not getting married. I think like people worry about a lot of stuff when they're planning the date for their wedding. But like your biggest thing should be like, when do you want to, like you want to be married. You want to start your life to postpone it for football season. I would still work out if you want to get married in the spring, like you could find a venue. It's November. It's not too late. People cancel. Yeah. I don't believe in like a,

There are certain things You should avoid Yes I went to a wedding On the Super Bowl once And I can tell you Like everybody was And it was like In another country Everybody was looking For the Wi-Fi And everybody was Checking their phones Like even if you didn't Really even care about football Like I would avoid Football Sunday for sure Super Bowl Sunday Excuse me Yeah Super Bowl Sunday But football

season in general like people miss football games all the time it's not a big deal your husband's too long of a season to just be not a ripe time for weddings your husband's far too dramatic and I do want to say um it does sound like and maybe I'm just like being crazy it sounds like your husband has a gambling problem like just based on like his inability to not I know that might be I know that might be like a little bit of a jump like Terry you're getting ahead of yourself I just want to say like look into it okay people who can't miss like any sporting event it's usually because they have money on it

Get married whenever you want. Not what works for other people. You need to start your life. You can't wait for football season. Don't give up on spring 2025 and do not push to spring 2026. Agreed. 1000%. Now our second submission is somebody who went viral. So normally I would be jealous, but like if this happened to me, seriously, just take me out back and shoot me. Okay. Okay. Hey, Jackson turn. I woke up to a not so pargy Instagram DM sending me a tick tock of my husband,

He was in New York City sitting at a table at a bar with the caption that read, ladies, if you are married to this man, he just said, my Halloween costume is a man who hates his wife and then flashed his wedding ring right at us and he's trying to flirt with all the girls. My husband makes dumb jokes with his friends all the time. He's also not on any social media, so I sent him this video and we talked it through. I know nothing happened and nothing's wrong with our marriage, but people I know in real life keep sending me this video and I don't know how to respond to them or how to make it stop. Help, please. How do I reply to people who I don't even know while talking about this?

Now, there's two issues. I know you only see one issue. You say the videos were fine, but how do I respond to people? And we'll get to that. But I would be absolutely remiss, devastated, and heartbroken if I didn't at least respond

Talk about the video. And I know you say you talked it through and like I trust you, but like I do fear that you are like getting really used to behavior that's not normal. A joke like this is abhorrent. Like it is unacceptable. It's not a joke, actually. Like there's truth in it. So I wouldn't be so quick to...

skirt past this issue and on to the next one and I actually think your your issue here is the joke not people texting you about it right so let's yes the issue is what he was said but

- She is asking for advice so we can operate, let's try and operate under the guise that he's like a perfect husband and he made like a bad joke. - But I just, I would be remiss if I didn't encourage you to like, - Of course, evaluate. - What would you tell your friend if somebody's, their husband said this about this? Like, I fear that you're like kind of used to being spoken down to and like your husband might be one of those men who like makes jokes about their wife, even when she's around, like, and I hate that. That's like one of my biggest pet peeves. - Right, that's like a bad joke to make. But then they're also saying he was flirting with the girls and yeah, nothing happened 'cause they thought he was an asshole.

Nothing happened because... He said he was married. Nothing happened because they didn't want anything to do with him, not because he didn't try. Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. This is like a really big deal. But the thing is, if somehow it's not a big deal, like your husband has the world's worst sense of humor and judgment, but is otherwise a really great partner somehow, and you can understand how this moment happened, who cares what other people think? It's your life. That can't be...

if you know that it was fine for however that could be possible, like if you know that that was fine, then like you need to not care what other people think. It's like, you're clearly happy in your life

That's not a reflection of your relationship. People sending this to you who don't really know you, they're not coming from a good place. Like it's obviously if it's gone viral, if I barely knew you, I would just assume that you saw it. I'm not going to text it to you. Like they are not coming from a good place and they don't deserve a response. So if anyone who's messaging you is not someone you would normally talk to, I wouldn't even respond because you're actually looking for tactical advice on how to respond to these people. Anyone you don't know well, do not respond to. Do not respond. And also like...

he fucked up and embarrassed himself. They should be reaching out to him. So you should just be like, I know crazy, right? Send it to him. Like he should be the one feeling awkward. Everybody's sending him this video of his bad moment, not you.

No, I just, it sounds like you're, like the feeling of your husband embarrassing you is like one that you're familiar with. And that makes me really sad because a husband's job is to protect you and not put you in a terrible spot. And the fact that he did it and got caught on such like a global scale is unfortunate. But I'm sure you've experienced this on smaller scales all the time. And I just want to let you know, like that's not normal. That's not good husband behavior. And I feel like you're just used to it.

And even the way you wrote us, it just like concerned me about how you like skipped. It's very concerning. Yeah. Yeah. So in terms of the responding to people, I don't. But also I need to make sure that his inbox and his friends and family are sending this to him. So like you got to reroute. You got to bring him in. Add him to the group text. Hey, babe. Reroute the shame. Christy saw your video. Forward it. Forward your mail. Yeah. Screenshot everything. Yeah. A thousand percent.

Okay, our third is a crossover between Dear Toasters and Abyssal Unburden Yourself. Okay? Okay. Hey, Swirlies. I was sharing my screen while presenting to my all-male team, including my seven-year-old business partner. This is probably like the worst way a story could start for me. Like, this is my biggest. I don't know what's coming next, but I'm scared. Earlier in the day, I was listening to The Toast, and for some reason, the Spotify widget popped up on my screen while I was sharing it and showed the Unfortunately Timed episode title, Tits Out for the Boys. Yes.

For the life of me, I could not get the title off my screen. And my seven-year-old business partner proceeded to point out the pop-up. Seven-year-old? 70. Okay. Proceeded to point out the pop-up asking me, what is that? What does that mean? I chalked it up to a pop-up and tried my best to move on with the presentation. Do I bring it up again and explain myself? Do I just move on? Should I ask someone else on the team what I should do? Help. Okay, wait. I just want to look at something on Spotify because you and I were talking about this and we uploaded the episode, Tits Out for the Boys, and Apple

podcast starred out the I and the T. When we wrote it, we wrote T-I-T-S. And Apple took the liberty of putting an asterisk on the I. It must go against their like. And the T. However, Spotify did not. Okay, because they respect free speech up there. But now I'm wishing that they did. Yeah. Because then the old man wouldn't have ever known. He could have got toots out for the boys. Tops. But it's straight up tits.

Well I do think That the seven year old man Didn't know what he was Looking at I don't know That he knew You were actively Seeking out a podcast Titled Tits Up for the Boys And honestly I apologize I do And we should keep That in mind For our part We should keep that in mind When we were titling Episodes going forward Maybe he wasn't Reading the title Maybe he saw Two Beautiful Women The cover art The toast He was probably

- He's probably like really taken by our beauty that he didn't even read the text. - Maybe he's like, doesn't have the best sight and he keeps asking, what is this? 'Cause he can't see.

Let me say two things. I think you're, you're in the clear one. The man didn't know what he was looking at. Like he has no idea how to process that sort of media. You're fine. Your other younger coworkers might've known that now, luckily for you, the toast is an incredibly popular podcast and we are known. We're not like a pornographic podcast. So anybody who saw it was like, Oh, she's listening to the pop culture podcast. And they had a funny title. Like,

Thankfully, we're so famous that like people know about us, even in a basic sense, even if they don't listen, they know the basics. They know we're, you know, funny girls. Yeah. So you're good. And if they go and Google it, like they'll see that it's just like a pop culture podcast podcast.

it's not like to our popularity you're in the clear I understand feeling really awkward about this and you're right to feel that way but I do think you can un the burden there's a lot of different ways of like plausible deniability and if anybody actually saw it and wants to dig into it it's totally harmless and like seriously blame Kim Kardashian yeah right maybe if she didn't have her tits out they wouldn't be out for the boys right you're fine yeah you can un your burden

And sorry for what it's worth. I'm sorry. The part we played. I just want to say like of all the things that could have come up when you shared your screen, like that's really not the worst thing. So true. Like your nude photos, of course, like come to mind. Of course. No, no. Your husband sent you a dick pic. Comes to mind. Well, yeah. A lot of people like take pictures of their...

poo that's like a thing people do oh or like a like a really bad pimple or like yeah or like uh like you have something on your vagina like you need to send the doctor like hey I've got this like pimple is this normal let me know yeah like it could have been a pic that you would send your doctor I have a thousand photos of my tonsils like whenever I get sick I'm always taking pictures like flash high resolution like and it looks it it looks like a vagina like you're fine yeah just think about

all the other worst things that it could have been. And then you will feel great. You guys, thanks so much for writing in. That is our show. Thank you so much for listening to the toast. Make sure to head over to shop to us, merch.com, get your merchandise. You have a couple of days. So like, don't worry. Um, and the pieces won't sell out since it's all pre-order. Keep in mind, it's four to five weeks for delivery. Um,

Thanks so much for listening to The Toast, a millennial morning show where you live with devout stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast center where podcasts can be found. So that's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Video, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places where you listen to podcasts. Find us on Twitter, 75starreview, about our beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are. Love ya, bye!