Shownotes Transcript
It's the top. It's Jackson. It's your favorite show. The fast five things you need to know. We'll start your day off swirly. It's the toast.
I sound amazing. Welcome back to the toes and happy Tuesday, or as we call it, Tuesday. And speaking of girls that I choose in this lifetime and the next, it's my lifetime. My sister, Jackie. Hey, coaches. Wojers. How's it hanging?
You know? Vojers, vojers, my man. Vojers, vojers. Sojers, nojers. You know? Hey, guys. This is the toast, even though that was a bit of gibberish for you. Thanks for clarifying. Welcome back to the toast.
Welcome toast to the back. I never welcome everyone into the show. You're extremely unwelcoming. That is what people say about you. 100%. And I love that for me. But today I'm welcoming you all into our show because we have a parchy little show for you.
And if it feels like both Jackie and I have like a little bit of an extra pep in our step, we do for separate reasons. I'm assuming Jackie's has something to do with the fact that Meghan Markle's show finally launched on Netflix last night. Well, it is D-Day over here. If Jackie has a bit of a sparkle in her eye, that's why. It's a Markle sparkle. Correct. And if I have a bit of a sparkle in my eye, like I really don't mean to brag, you know, I never want to come on here and be like, my life is so amazing. You know, it's not nice to rub in people's faces. Right.
I only peed one time in the night and I didn't wake up choking on my own vomit. And I actually had like such a good night's sleep that I think Anora was an amazing movie. And I think life is worth living. And it's just really amazing what a tablet of magnesium, a Pepsid, I switched over. Dr. Fox said I could. A Pepsid could do like life is worth living.
The magnesium is major. What'd you do? The one that I sent you? 500 milligrams? Mm-hmm. I'm back on my 500 milligrams as well because my nails were all broken. My sciatica was back. And I'm like, okay, so, so? So yeah, we do drugs. Do you have something, a funny story to tell me?
I did. So I went to the doctor yesterday, you know, for that, for that checkup. All good. Thank God. Thank God. Blessed be the fruit. But on the way there, we always drive. I don't know why. Like we just, we like decided we do love driving, but like the doctor's in the city and like, it's pretty easy to get to. I don't know why we always drive. We never can find parking. Like, like you have to justify having a car. It's so true. Okay.
Sojourner, nojourner truth. Okay. Cojourner's truth. And I had such a busy day yesterday that like Ben picked me up from work and I didn't have time to eat lunch. And I'm so hungry. And you know, every time I go into the doctor's hungry, they're like, baby's not in good position. Baby's sleeping. And they're like always yelling at my baby that like they can't get their photos. So I always make sure to eat, you know? It's my due diligence as a mama to be.
And so we just like pulled over on the side of the road. Ben ran in and got like two slices. We just grabbed a slice. Oh, his dream come true. Yeah. And we were like eating the slices on the way. And I didn't want to complain, but like he got two slices for two people. Right. So when he came to the car with the two plates, I'm like, OK, good. He like knew I needed to. And they happened to have been. One for you, one for Bebe.
Right. They happen to have been like particularly small, not small, but like below average of a New York City slice. So I'm like, oh, he got me two. That's nice. And he gets in the car and he starts eating his. And I'm like, wait, should we go in? Like, and we were really late. He's like, why would I go back? I'm like, like, what is not going to suffice? I'm starving and I'm pregnant. He starts driving. I'm like, it's fine. I'll just like, give me yours. And he was like, no, I haven't eaten all day. I'm like, what? I'm like, give me your slice. He's like, no, I'm starving.
I'm like, okay, fine. I finished the slice and like I was hungry, but like it was sufficient. Go to the doctor. We're watching the ultrasound. Oh, so cute. This, we got the 3D. And she's like, oh, what is that? I'm like, what are you talking about? She's like, oh, it's so cute. He's chewing on his umbilical cord. I'm like, excuse me? That's like...
Like you need the, like what if he chewed through it? And then I look at Ben and I'm like, you wouldn't give me that fucking slice of pizza. And our baby's so hungry. He's eating his own body. Okay. Yeah. Right. And they were like, it happens all the time. It's so cute. Like doctors will tell you the craziest things in pregnancy. They're like, it's happens to everyone.
Yeah, I've not heard that before, but Ben should be ashamed. And also, there are so many great markets around that doctor's office. They've really placed themselves in a parchy spot for pregnant women that Ben should have been out at the market. 1,000% accept. You guys don't use the market enough, I feel. Okay, so when we...
One time it happened. I was so hungry at a doctor's appointment and the baby like wasn't moving. They needed him to flip to get the picture of the spine. So Ben ran and got me pizza and I'm like eating pizza while being ultrasounded. It was really crazy. And there's a sign that's like no food, no better. And like the girl made an exception for me, but like you can't bring food into the rooms. So like I'll have to go to the market afterwards. Yeah. Or sometimes you have to wait a little bit. So like that's a good time for Ben to go to the market.
Mm-hmm. It's literally across the street. He should just go. Actually, I'm kind of like a VIP client at the doctor. I've actually never waited. Oh, that's nice. Yeah. Sometimes if you get there a little late and kind of miss your appointment, you got to wait. Oh, see, I'm not late. I would never be late to Dr. Fox. Because you drive your car. Because I respect him. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.
And the sort of like major update, as you guys know, I see a high risk doctor because of my sister. And yesterday I've officially been cleared as having a strong cervix. I don't have to get it checked every time now. That's exciting. Cervix strong. Putting the probe out of business. Yeah, they said my cervix is kind of giving like strength. They said parcheelicious. They said that looks like an independent, strong cervix. That's what they said. They said it was a parcheelicious cervix.
They actually started playing my favorite song, Partialicious by Fergie. Partialicious definition, make the boys go loco. So it was a Partialicious day. My favorite song is Pargyness by Taylor Swift. There's Pargyness. Okay, that's not how it goes. There'll be Pargyness after you. There is Pargyness because of you two. Both of these things can be true. There is Pargyness.
Plus the blood and rose. We haven't talked about Lurd in a while. She's been really quiet. She's on hiatus. So we're on hiatus from Lurd, which is good because Megan deserves her moment. Yeah. We're kind of like pushing the moment onto people because Megan is actually like not having a moment anywhere besides this show. People are not talking about her in the way that I think she like wishes that they were. I don't know what people are talking about, but like when I look at the trades before the show, so like Page Six, People Magazine,
all of like entertainment websites, like they are trying to talk about her like, and be like, Megan show how she goes on day dates with Archie and little bit. Cute. Yeah. Like, and Mindy Kaling called her Marco in her last. Well, is that a story today? No. Okay. Because I actually thought you might. And that moment is going viral. I,
I will not make it. I will not talk about the show until I've seen it. I'm not going to watch a clip and judge because that's wrong to do. Okay. But I just do want to talk about this one clip and judge it very briefly because it's my queen, Mindy. And she was like trying to make a funny joke. Mindy Kaling being like, if people knew Meghan Markle, like, and she was like, it's so funny that you keep calling me Meghan Markle. Yeah. That was like the joke Mindy Kaling was making. Like it's irrelevant. We don't know the whole conversation, but I guess Meghan shared that she ate Jack in the Box. But Mindy,
Mindy Kaling was just like being one of us she was just being one of us she was like it's like if people only knew Mindy like Megan Megan Kaling Megan Markle ate Jack in the Box like it was like an offhand like swirly remark what you say when someone famous eats fast food correct she like wanted you to think that and then Megan's like it's so funny that you keep calling me Megan Markle you know I'm Sussex and Mindy Kaling is like she didn't say anything she's like
She looks like she got in trouble. You know that very famous clip of RuPaul going on Jimmy Fallon? Yes. Oh my God, that is so good. Where, okay, so RuPaul is promoting his cover, I think of like Vanity Fair or something. So Jimmy Kimmel shows like the first ever drag queen to be on the cover of
And RuPaul's like, I drag queen. And Jimmy Kimmel's like seeing his whole career flash before his eyes. He's like, what did I say? I said it wrong. I said it wrong. And he's like, I drag queen. I am the queen of drag. And it's just like a funny gag moment. And you see Jimmy Kimmel's career flash before his eyes. Fallon, Fallon, Fallon. Jimmy Fallon's career flash before his eyes. It's the funniest clip. It's so funny. And then you see like this huge wave of relief like wash over him when he realized like it was just a joke.
That's literally like Megan. She's like, what did I say? What did I, like, she doesn't know what she said wrong. And then Megan's like, I'm Sussex now. And she's explaining how like, how meaningful it is to have the same last name as her kids, which I totally understand. But not to be like a nitpicker, but like, I thought their last name was Windsor.
So, like, the collective family, the whole royal family, but then each individual family, like, has their own name. Now, I think when you're a working royal, you don't use last names, so it doesn't matter. But then when they, like, left, then they took their little family name of something. So is that, like, what's on her license? Well, no. Every article says Meghan Markle, Meghan Markle. Like, Meghan Markle's joining Lemonada. Like, Meghan Markle is having her... It's giving Kelly Breanne. Like, you want a new name, and we're not giving it to you. No, but she...
She like I this is the first I'm hearing that her name is Megan Sussex. Like legally changed. The only thing I didn't choose it as a story but like if we were going to talk about Megan just wanted to share that she had a little fan screening of her show. Oh I saw. In New York City. It was giving 1989 secret sessions. It was giving secret sessions. I was honestly disappointed that Stassi wasn't there because I was disappointed you weren't there. No.
No, I'm not the elk to be invited. I haven't been ride or die. These are people who have been with her since the Tig. The Tig. Like who are fans, like just Meghan Markle stands. I wouldn't count myself among them. I am someone who's just been craving comfort cooking content and also craving to see like what Meghan Markle and Harry have up there. The Sussexes have up their sleeve. And so I'm very interested by this. Yeah. Yeah.
And I think we could be on the precipice of something. I wouldn't say, like, I don't deserve to be invited to this, but Stassi does. Yeah, and also to say we're not talking about Meghan Markle today. Right, no, but it is M-Day.
Yeah, it's the big day. We'll see how the show is received by one Jackie O. I finished my gorsh forsaken book last night so I can enjoy with love Megan. I guess what she's trying to do more so than be Megan Sussex is just be Megan. So yeah, Madonna answer. You're you've been freed from the shackles of your book club. Does anybody who's ever been a part of a book club feel like it's so amazing? Like when like I've got positive things to say about my time in a book club, but like it's
Like, towards the end of the month, like, when you're almost at the date, like, it starts to feel like homework and it starts to feel like a prison and you're like, why did I sign up for this? And then you read the book and it's fine, but, like, there's a couple of days where you're, like, cramming and you're like, why the fuck did I voluntarily decide to do this? It's literally homework and it's...
If I hadn't been reading all weekend, I would have been watching Love is Blind. And even though the book wound up not being my favorite, spoiler alert, like I'm glad I spent the weekend reading something enriching rather than watching the worst, dumbest show on television that will actually take points away from my IQ. Like, so all in all, I'm grateful to the book club because I know without it, I would be the dumber person. And I would never read a book like this.
So thank you for reminding me. Um, just wanted to update everybody on something that was said yesterday. People were really quick to be like, Charity, James Cameron's alive. And I happen to know that he wasn't. I just was saying that like the elk of films, like James Cameron's rolling over in his grave, you know? Oh, that's just a common phrase. Thank you. It's just like a, it's a matter. It's a, it's a wording thing. I know to say it's funnier when the person's alive, you know, and I know he's alive, like avatar, avatar to avatar three, four, and five. Like I'm familiar. Don't worry. Um,
But I guess people were not like understanding the figure of speech I chose to use. Yes, comedy. Yes, comedy. Comedic. We have dear toasters today. Yay. Huge for the community, the DTQ. We actually have like a lot of stories in addition to the stories that aren't stories. Do you know what I mean? And do we have the story that I before? Yes, finally Mark Zuckerberg has made it into the fast five.
I need to talk about Mark Zuckerberg. Yeah, me too. I kept meaning to talk about it and then he just kept being overlooked, which is so classic Zuck. And you know, he only pulled that stunt at his wife's birthday party like to make it into the Fast Five. Not necessarily us, but like the world's Fast Five. And it wasn't going to happen on Friday and it wasn't going to happen on Monday. But Tuesday is your day, Mark.
But it needs to be spoken about because when you are a loser, you deserve to be made fun of. So we're going to do that. But that's giving story number four energy. Yeah. All of the stories, it's one of those days where it's not really, they're all kind of equal. They're all at like 20%. So like the order might be a little random. So it's giving equitable division of the assets. It is. It's not giving lead story and sub stories.
Oh, that's good. I like when we're all just sort of, it's a level playing field. Yeah, it's definitely an RBG day, like random but good. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Ruth Bader Ginsburg. Rest in peace. She's not rolling over. No, no, she's lying flat on her back, like doing well. Yeah.
So I could, if you're, if you have nothing else to share about life. About life. No. And how it's worth living. It is. It is. So let's get into the fast five stories. You need to know you do. You do, do, do, do, do. Well,
Well, the Fast Five stories that you need to know are brought to you by State Farm. So we know that our listeners can agree. Nothing feels better than a personal win. Like when you get a final piece of furniture delivered to your apartment, your home really feels complete. Perhaps you hit a personal record in a new workout. Or you're a toaster who managed to stop for a much-needed iced coffee but still made it to work on time. Or you're a toaster who made it at home, saving herself $7. Yeah, that's right. I'm economical. I'm economical.
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I'm at a Skiing Cynthia Erivo. State Farm is there. Would you like to take a look at it? It was not Skiing Cynthia Erivo. No, by the way, State Farm is there. That's good. I like that. They should take that. That's really good. They should work with Cynthia and do a QLab. Honestly. Yeah.
Talk to a State Farm agent today to learn how you can bundle and save with a personal price plan. Like a good neighbor, State Farm is there. Prices are based on rating plans that vary by state. Coverage options are selected by the customer availability, amount of discounts, and savings eligibility vary by state. Today's episode is also brought to you by Open Phone. Running a small business means you're wearing a lot of hats. Your personal phone becomes your business phone, and before you know it, you're juggling customer calls day and night. As your team grows, it becomes impossible to manage without your
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T-O-A-S-T. Plus, if you have existing phone numbers with another service, Open Phone will port them over for you at no extra charge. So head over to O-P-E-N-P-H-O-N-E dot com slash toast for 20% off six months. Thank you, Six Turts. You're welcome. Our first story, the aforementioned Mark Zuckerberg news. He's going to be really excited that he got the number one spot.
um yes ben mark zuckerberg dressed up as benson boones for his wife's 40th birthday party not just dressed up he wore his outfit that he wore from the grammys he performed on stage at his wife priscilla's birthday party everyone remembers the benson boone grammys moment he wore the suit that pulled off blue jumpsuit jumpsuit very like harry styles and it was like a cute like it was good um i didn't know it'd be like
being replicated for years to come. I didn't know it was like the sort of performance that we're going to be like replicating. Well, this is what Mark Zuckerberg does, right? He's a replicator. He steals ideas from his college roommates. He steals ideas from Instagram. He steals ideas from WhatsApp. Like he's not an original person. So the fact that he needed to put together a performance
for his wife and he was like, oh, okay, like I want people to think I'm cool. What's like the last thing people thought was cool? And when Benson Boone did it, everyone was like, oh, he's so hot. He's wearing a tight thing. Oh, he did the flip. Oh, we love Benson Boone. We love that song. So Mark Zuckerberg was just like, control C, control V. He's such a copycat. He's so unoriginal. And he's so like, I,
I need Mark Zuckerberg to develop self-awareness. The world would be a better place. I'm so tired of him making me cringe. Like he's so lame. And this was just like the latest lame endeavor from the Zuckerberg family. For me, this is such a weird thing to copy. Like I understand like seeing something like,
amazing and then like copying it. But this was just so random. Like it was one performance in the night of, you know, nice performances, but it's not like one that's going to go down in the history books. Like maybe him and his wife, like are huge Benson Boone fans. Is Mark Zuckerberg a part of the space race? No, not in a capacity that is in a real way. That's so crazy. I feel like he would be because he loves to copy everyone. And like, maybe that's next. I mean, don't take it off the table. It takes time. You're right.
Oh my God. Excuse me. It's a random thing for him to like plant his flag. And I feel like Priscilla must love Benson Boone, but that's also kind of random. He has like three songs so far. Maybe she loves American Idol. Yeah. And it's just very, if this was a Harry Styles thing, I would get it more. Cause he's like, you know, there's so many albums, there's so much lore, there's costumes. Like this is just like, and I love Benson Boone. Like he's filling the Lewis Capaldi shaped hole in my heart. You guys know that. But yeah,
This is early stages.
And it's also kind of a cringe thing to do. Like, this is my gift to you where I'm the center of attention and I'm the star and I get to dance with my backup singers and I get written about in page six. But it's all for you, Priscilla. Like, that's something I would do for real. Like, oh, Ben, you wanted, I'll be the star. Like, it's so, I couldn't hate this man more. Like, seriously, I see right through him. Everything he thinks, he's like, he's pulling the wool over people's eyes. I see right through everything Mark Zuckerberg does. You're like giving him so much credit like he was stealing the spot set.
spotlight like no it's like this is my gift to you like i'm gonna make your butt clench right and like you know what about this is a present she must love benson boone and i'm not gonna get benson boone to perform he's not even that expensive and you're a billionaire yeah that's what's also crazy but i'm also like not gonna pretend to begin to like understand their relationship like yeah them as people like separately together like
I don't think we have a lot of common interests. I just don't think that enough people are asking the question, like, why couldn't you get Benson Boone? Like, it's not like it's Beyonce. That's the wrong question. If anybody wanted to get Beyonce, like, it would be Mark Zuckerberg. I bet you could get Benson Boone for, like, under a million dollars. And if he wanted to, like, make himself, oh, he could have also worn the blue thing and they could have done the flip together. Like, but where is Benson in all of this? Why are we acting like this is some low-budget affair? No, the question isn't why couldn't you get Benson Boone.
Why didn't you? Why didn't you? Because you can. And then Benson commented on the situation. He commented on a post that was like a news story about it. He said, I hope his nuts are okay. That thing is so tight. And he also reposted the video of him doing it and said, add Zuck, you're wild for this. So he's like playing into it. He's not like. Yes, he should. I don't think he wants to piss off Mark Zuckerberg. You know, like he could totally shadow ban him. We'll never see him again. Yeah.
But he's obviously not like, oh man, you crushed it. Like, so glad I sent you that overnight delivery. Like, keep it, bruv. Now, do we think that it was a replica or the exact same item? I think it was the exact same item. Because you can see Mark being like, yeah, we fit into the same size. He said, Mark, how did you get my jumpsuit? How? But like, did you send it? FedEx? Did the stylist give it?
I do think it was the same one because I do think that Mark would pride himself on getting the exact one. Right, as a gift to Priscilla. Don't forget, it's all for Priscilla.
Like Priscilla is so lost in this. I actually feel bad for her. Like this is truly what it's like to be married to a narcissist. Like nobody wants to see you sing and dance. It's Priscilla's party. I know, but it's like he has so much money that I think when he even does stuff that's cringe, it's like she'll just wipe her tears with the money. Like I think she just has to like compartmentalize, you know? And she knows who she married because like we think he's weird now. I can only imagine what he was like in college. And wasn't she like with him before he was anybody? That's what's crazy. Yeah, no.
These two are like deeply in love. It's wild. That's what I'm saying. Like, I felt like they're like Priscilla liked this. This was for Priscilla in some way. Yeah. I just don't understand these two. Honestly, if someone's at my birthday party and their gift is taking all the attention away from me, like divorce. But in a way that's like not party party.
Like if someone's at my birthday party and they sing me like a, like if Sia, when she's at the party, and they sing me a beautiful rendition of Happy Birthday. It's actually a gift is what you're saying. Or like a Marilyn Monroe comes to my birthday party and jumps out of a cake. Like, oh my gosh, Marilyn, you're such a good friend. I love that. If someone comes. Thanks, Mayor.
someone comes to my birthday party and does like something weird. - Yeah, and like Mark Zuckerberg doesn't have a talent. Like it would be more impressive if he like sat down and coded in the middle of the party and like built her a website live. Like that's what you bring to the table and that's okay. - Yeah, like a live Benson Boone fan account. - Page, yeah. I'm building you a Benson page website.
It's just so weird that it's Benson Boone. Yeah, right, right, right. Benson Boone. He actually has one song. He now has two. He came out with one on Friday, and when Mark posted the video, he was also like, congrats on the new song, Benson. Benson. Benson Boone. Yeah, that's what I thought you were going to say. Benson Boone. You can't call Benson Boone Ben. He's not a Ben.
No, his name is Benson. No, but like as a nickname. I would call him Olivia. I would call him Bence. I would call him Olivia, Liv. For Benson Boone? Liv Benson, yeah.
What? Oh, okay. Olivia Benson. Oh, I thought the joke was just like something completely random. Oh, no. Our brains are wired a little bit differently. Yeah. That's funny. Yeah, thanks. I tried. No, no, no. Not funny. Not Olivia. Not the joke. Oh. The fact that we're on such different pages. Oh. Well, I think that kind of speaks to how funny the joke was. Because... Because...
Like I obviously had one meaningful and people probably saw that. But then you were able to come up with a completely different but also hilarious joke. So if anybody didn't get like the SVU reference, they were able to find, you know, other meaning in the joke. I think that really speaks to the brilliance of the joke. There's something for everyone. Correct. It's a very inclusive joke. Favorite kinds of jokes. Same.
Are we ready to move on from this parody story that has brought us so much joy? Honestly, no. It delivered in a way that I didn't expect it to. Like, I knew I would have some funny thoughts on it because I saw it and, like, physically cringe. But I didn't know that it would, like, lead me to write one of the greatest, most prolific jokes of my career. You know? Inspiration strikes in such an unexpected way. I kind of feel...
I kind of feel like Mark Zuckerberg, you know, like a true genius. Funny. That funny. I'm seriously going to cry. It really was such a funny joke. Look at her. It was such a funny joke. It keeps going. It's the gift. It's the gift that keeps on giving. Mark Zuckerberg could learn a thing or two. It's Priscilla's gift that keeps on giving. Oh my God. Dream guest on the toast? Priscilla. 100%. You know what I want to do?
yeah like there's so many people that i just want to ask one question like i don't have a 40 minute podcast i don't want a 40 minute i don't have a whole conversation to me but there's a question i owe and it's not like anything exposed to like i'm not trying like no but like just a curiosity yeah i it's like a speed dating type of like bite-sized content we don't need you for an hour 15 minutes we have one question yeah i like that
Our next story, oh, very serious. Millie Bobby Brown is calling out bullying. She's calling out the bullies for the criticism of her appearance recently. So Millie Bobby Brown has been in the news and also just online. She's been beep-bopping around. Yeah, because she's been at different premieres and stuff and different gowns, and her look has changed.
And she's got blonde hair. She seems to have done some fillers. Like she looks very mature. Yeah. And people have a lot to say about it as they do. Now, I never watched Stranger Things. So like, I don't care.
No, I mean, neither this doesn't. This is so not my problem. I have like no expectations for what she should look like. And I'm not disappointed when she doesn't. The people that do watch that show, that's why there was like such a reaction to it because she's been known and like got famous as like a prepubescent child. Like she was 10 years old. So people have this like, this like fixed image of her in their minds. Cause every celebrity, especially women goes through like
especially women, women, go through changes and like they do work and there's not always like such a big thing about it. But because Millie Bobby Brown was like a famous kid, people are like more obsessed with it, I think. Yeah. And,
I guess just also because of her appearance on the show. You know, anything other than looking like Eleven, like, is hard for them to digest. Right, right. Bald with a bloody nose. So, right. It's really, like, I'm sure she's, like, grateful for the role, but, like, hates it. It's like a prison. Yeah. So people had a lot to say, and they weren't being nice. And so she...
put out a video to fire back at the, quote, disturbing discourse about her physical appearance after she was criticized for looking old at the premiere of Electric State last week. She said, quote, I want to take a moment to address something that I think is bigger than just me, something that affects every young woman who grows up under public scrutiny.
I started in this industry when I was 10 years old. I grew up in front of the world and for some reason people can't seem to grow with me. She claimed that her critics expect her to stay frozen in time and still look the way that she did in the first season of Stranger Things. That's funny. That's what I said and I didn't watch the whole video because it was clear she was reading off of a script and I wasn't interested. Yeah, she was like being a little too well spoken. No, it was like a PSA. I'd like to take a moment to address and like literally reading off of something. So I'm like, okay, I'll just read the transcript later. Which is now.
So she went on to say, and because I don't look like 11, I'm now a target. She also called out several headlines and reporters for mocking a young woman's appearance. The fact that adult writers are spending their time dissecting my face, my body, my choices, it's disturbing. She also emphasized that it's even worse that some of the articles are being written by women. Damn. Well, she said women. Sorry, I don't want to put that on her. Oh, okay. Well, go back to school. I added my own flair. Sorry. She said women.
So how old is Millie Bobby Brown? 21, I believe. She's married now. Like she has definitely grown up in the last couple of years, especially because that show like hasn't been on. Yes. And her appearance has obviously changed now. I
like for me you know obviously you don't want to talk about a person's appearance but Millie Bobby Brown seems like a happy stable phase of her life. Yeah. If she wants to go off and dress and do whatever she wants like this like a happy healthy person like go ahead might not be what I would do but like
I have no issue. I feel like there's no, and that's also being 21. Like that's what you do. You play with your look. You try different things. Obviously she's like a wealthy, famous person. So her things, like we try new lipsticks and she maybe tries new plastic surgeons, but like, that's what you do when you're young. And then you look back and regret it. Like, I think that there's nothing abnormal about this, like in the world that she lives in. No, but also like, I'm looking at her and when I really zoom in, like, it's really the hair and the dress and the makeup. And it's like, she's just
putting on a costume and the next day to try something else. Like it's not that serious. I feel like there are a lot of people who walk around and their appearance is like questionable. And it's like, because there's probably something deeper going on. And that's when I'm like, okay, is that person? Okay. But Millie Bobby Brown seems okay. And if she wants to wear these fake beings, like go ahead. I agree. As long as they appear to be sound of mind, I'm not like super worried. Yeah. And nothing about this is giving like a red flag. Nothing at all.
No, there's been a lot of talk about that, like as it pertains to Cynthia and Ariana, who are both like very, very thin, which can be a sign of like distress, health issues. Like it can be a red flag to like something more major going on. I think when people talk about it, they talk about it from that POV sometimes. But you're right. Like Billy Bobby Brown is like,
appears to be really happily married. She's a very successful young woman. She got Florence by Mills, that like kids makeup company that just won't quit. When she announced it, I'm like, good luck to you, ma'am. But she's like one of the few celebrities who launched makeup lines that are still going, like launching. I see them all the time on TikTok. People really like it. Yeah. I think Morphe going out of business was like one of the best things that happened to Florence by Mills. I'm happy for Florence by Mills.
yeah so she's got a lot going on i agree that's a good um like and also and i feel like and then even if someone's like looking like crazy i feel like we wouldn't i mean i might like think it or say it to you privately but like you don't this is something you even say publicly because we just don't do that yeah but i'm saying like even when i see me like i'm around and she's like making style choices i wouldn't make like i'm like this girl seems happy like carry on also like she's so young she's 21 what were you wearing when you were 21 home and carry on
Totally. Yeah. So lighten up on her. I feel like she like is always get like, like in the middle of stuff. Yeah. In the Millie. In the Millie. Are you ready for our next story? It's a little Oscars fallout. And like, actually the one thing we didn't discuss from the Oscars, which I did have thoughts on, but Doja Cat is admitting that her nerves got to her during the Oscars, James Bond tribute. And I was flats.
I was going to go off on the performances and then I completely forgot. We'll talk about the weird Bond performance, but I just wanted to say this was another one of my hot takes that I forgot to say yesterday because you know I would like seriously lay my life out on the line for Queen Latifah. Like I think she's like the most wonderful person. That performance was not good. She did not have good stage presence. Her vocals were not good. I don't think she was the right person for the tribute, honestly. What did she do? I haven't, I didn't see it. She did a song. Oh, it was for- I haven't even heard, I didn't even know she was there.
Oh my God. The Quincy Jones tribute. She did a lead song from the whiz and it was like, it was a big production, like dancers and lights. And she was the main singer and like, she didn't have it. I'm sorry. And I love her. She did not possess the qualities needed. I understand. And she was introed by Oprah. Like it was a big thing. And who was with Oprah? Yeah.
Whoopi Goldberg. It didn't make a peep, Claudia. I didn't even know that that happened. Because it wasn't good. And you know it pains me to say that because that's my queen, Miss Motor Mouth Maybel. I didn't know that was happening. Oh, what is that from? I didn't know that was happening. That's what I wanted. Come on, help me. Oh, wait. Finger. That's what I wanted. I didn't know that was happening. It's what I wanted.
That was a really good reference. Thank you so much. But anyways, there was a James Bond tribute that was newsworthy and we didn't even talk about it. So Margaret Qualley opened with a dance number. Our girl crushed it per use. What can't she do? I was,
I was confused. Like, I love her. What was she doing? No, no. I don't know. Why were we highlighting Bond? Not even... A Bond movie didn't even come out this year, let alone either. I thought it was, like, maybe an anniversary. Nothing. It was a nothing. And they made a point to cut down on performances this year. Usually every song that's nominated in the song category, those are the performances throughout the night. No, what was also weird is, like, you know these shows want to get shorter, but then there were so many segments that were so long. Like, even for best...
supporting actress and I don't know if they did this for all the acting roles where the person yes they did five read off like Regina George like you broke your back and you look awesome like partial spring like saying nice things about everyone it was and you could feel which ones the person hadn't seen which were just like just nice platitudes and they were trying to like talk to them in the audience while also looking at the teleprompter so they're like Zoe your work and courage was everything a partial spring queen yeah
That's a really good point. So yeah, they did. And they tried. They started earlier too. Like they were very time conscious. And then we get like a 10 minute random James Bond tribute that nobody asked for. That was actually not good. No, it was not good. But there was definitely the capacity and the potential for parginess. And it just did not hit. So first, can I tell you who showed up for work that day though? Ray. Ray.
And the more I see of Ray, the more I like. She closed it out. The more I see of Ray, the more I like. But I didn't love this, and I'll tell you why. But just going in order, I liked Margaret Qualley. Girl can dance. Who knew? She just, like, looked confident, like she was having fun. I'm telling you, Margaret Qualley is on her way, like, to...
Yeah. To real. And she already is. Like, she's at the Oscars. She's out-Nepo'd her nepotism, like, privilege. But she is, everything I learned about her, like, personality-wise, talent-wise, I just saw her in The Substance, which was so different from the last thing I'd seen of her. She is a star. Agreed. And then Lisa from Blackpink, and now White Lotus. Yes.
Yeah, I didn't think she was so great. She was cute. Like, I like her. And I was like, oh, okay, this is fun. Like, where are the rest of the girls? Like, Lisa left them in the dust, but okay. She did. And then Doja Cat performed, like, a big song, which she did not...
Possess the qualities needed. Right. I felt the same way. Like, it was this big, very, like, sexy Bond girl, big vocals. And that's not what I see Doja Cat as. Like, she's a lot of things. She's kind of like a hit maker, really on trend. I don't think of her for, like, that sort of... I don't... I think of Ray like that. She's very Amy Winehouse. You think about the girls who do the Bond songs. Adele, like...
I don't know. Did you have felt really random to me? Yeah. Or like, yeah, maybe I don't think of her in that way, but maybe when she's saying like, oh, she would shut me up and she, it just wasn't that, but she said, so she acknowledged that like, it wasn't the best. And she said that she put a lot of work into the performance, but the nerves got the best of her and a bitch hit some flats. She said, I never get to sing like that. And what I did was brave and scary as fuck for me. I know a lot of people didn't like it, but a lot of people did. And I feel good that I pushed myself.
And then I appreciate that. Like the Oscars is a really big deal for for most people, even people who have done, you know, Coachella. Like there is something like special and different about it. Especially a genre shift. Big. Yeah. So I understand like what she's saying, but I'm sorry, that's just not good enough. Like this is the Oscars. That was like when Selena Gomez like got flack for her acting in Amelia Perez. And she was like, I'm sorry, I tried my best.
Right. I thought you were going to say when she got flack for that like wild performance she did at like the American Music Awards. Like that's not scary. No. But also like this wasn't wild. This just like wasn't great. And I think like this called for greatness. But no like just this idea like but I did my best. Right. Wait. Who said that to me recently?
Oh, Ben, when like the way he loaded the dishwasher or something, I'm like, just so you know, this is unacceptable. Like all the bowls are turned up. So they are filled with water. We have to run the dishwasher again. He's like, well, I tried my best. I'm like, that's not fucking good enough. It was such a crazy response. I think it was just, he wanted to try something new with like me yelling at him about the chores. So he's like, well, like I did it and I tried my best. So like, what do you want from me? I'm like, what do I want? I want you to fucking do better. I want it to be great.
It was such a I'm like who do you think you're talking to? It was such a crazy response. Right. And I think it's like a little bit of a crazy response here too. But I like the accountability and I like we can move on. And then Ray also said in a separate post that she was so nervous to sing the song because no one can sing Adele like Adele. But she tried her very best. I thought she did good. I wasn't offended. I wasn't offended.
She wasn't offended. And I've seen, right, she also performed at the other awards that we watched recently. Grammys. And I never heard her sing before and I was very impressed. But I do think that when someone who sounds like Adele, like takes on Adele, it'd be better if it was someone that wasn't so similar because then you're just comparing it to Adele. And then the question is like, why didn't Adele come and sing? Yeah.
Yeah, but I think that at this stage in her career, that's good for Ray that we're comparing her to Adele. I think more so her shtick is that she's compared to Amy Winehouse. To me, she sounds like both in a good way. I like that genre of British woman just singing. I like Ray. I think she's super cute. Every time I see her on social media, she's having so much fun. She's not so serious. I think she looks serious because she's British and sings fancy sad songs. But she's a fun-loving gal, and she's loving this journey. You can be both. I can't believe she's famous.
I'm holding space for two truths. Agreed. So then other fans expressed displeasure saying that it was like a pointless tribute. It was. And it was. It was extremely pointless. But it could have been really amazing. Like imagine if it was amazing and we'd be like, how cool? Like we wouldn't be questioning why it was there. We'd be grateful that it was.
Yeah, but the three women made no sense together. It was all bad. And Bond, question mark? And someone told me they have a song together recently. That doesn't mean you perform at the Oscars. Did they sing the song? No, no, but that's why it was them three. I don't know. I just wanted to make note of that because I could see someone being like, but they have a song together. No, they were trying maybe to be like Pink, Beyonce, and...
Christina. And Christina from the Pepsi commercial and Try As You Might You Will Never Be Those Three. No. Are you ready for our next story? Four? Four. Okay. The theory is untrue. Debunked. It's a little Dave Portnoy news because he's making waves talking about the financial relationship that he has with his ex-wife. Have you seen this? But it's not his ex-wife. A lot of people don't know he's legally married. Like his, like his...
wife that he separated from that he's not with whatsoever but they're not formally divorced and here's why so he went on a podcast the stage steel show sage steel show and he explained their situation he said when we met when barstool was nothing so she rode the grind up with us still currently basically she has access to all my money I just wanted to be like I'm taking if she wanted to be like I'm taking it and gone she could and
So they got married in 2009 and she was with Dave until 2017. They separated, but he made a lot of money over the course of that time. They went to get a divorce in Massachusetts and they were denied. So they're still technically married. The person asked, how can you deny a divorce? And he explained that it had to do with their money.
Her and I have a very fluid relationship with our finances. He said, she's not like, give me half. And we've been separated legally for a long time. The judge said our agreement wasn't equitable to her. They're like, he's worth a lot more. You have to give half. She wouldn't take half. She didn't want half of his fortune. And so they just stayed married. She has access to his bank accounts and can do whatever she wants, but she won't take the money. He said, they're going to try and get divorced in Florida, but they've had a joint bank account forever. And he trusts her implicitly. That's crazy. Yeah.
"Who the fuck are these people? "I don't want half, give it to me." - And she has access to all the same money that he has and he has a million homes and lives large. - And it's crazy because in 2017 he was probably worth less than half than he's worth now. So now if they have to get divorced, she might be entitled to $100 million when in 2017 maybe she was entitled to like $25 million.
So she just made the problem worse for herself if that's, you know, really the issue. She doesn't want it. Or she played longhand. Right, right. This is like Mackenzie Bezos. Like, I don't want it. I got $36 billion. Here, let me give it to everybody. Like, I just don't relate to these people on any level. Like, at all. No, don't relate. But also, like, that is just so crazy. It's actually really nice. Yeah, it's very admirable, like, the trust that they have. Yeah, and I think that, like— Honestly, I ship. Get back together. Right.
This comes up like every couple of years. People are like, Dave Poinare is married? What? Like they don't know that he ever was married and that legally he still is. I don't think these two like hang out ever. But they seem to be on really good terms. It's like a crazy thing. You know, whatever works for people works. Yeah, but if you ever want to get married. But I guess that means that neither of them, right. Or if she wants to get married.
Will ever get married or can ever get married again. She will have to accept $100 million if she wants. And a new husband. Oh, no. Some people just can't catch a break. I know. It's devastating to watch. What's her name? Renee, right? And I wonder if she works. I wouldn't. She probably does. Yeah, she's that type of bitch. She's probably like a teacher. Yeah. And she probably doesn't take Dave's money. Although I can't see a teacher having been married to Dave Portnoy. But you have to go all the way back.
Yeah, he was worse back then. Like, he's tame now. Maybe she thought she could change him. I mean, a teacher would think that. Like, that's what teachers do. Maybe she takes a little from the account, like splurge on supplies for the children. Oh, that's nice. Like, kind of Teach for America type vibes where you have to, like, pay for everything. Yeah. Like, a couple more posters. Never stop asking why. Thumbtacks for everyone. Glue sticks. I'm at the part in Desperate Housewives where Susan Meyer is a teacher. Yeah.
And I just, I want to call child services. Like it's just, I fucking hate it.
Susan Meyer more than I ever could. Can I tell you what just happened in last night's episode? I'll be brief. I don't want to like bore you. And it's not a spoiler. But she's fallen on really hard times. They have to move off Wisteria Lane. Mike takes a job on an oil rig. And she just lost her job as a teacher. And so on the reverse, like Lynette is finally for the first time like financially fine. She got a huge job with Carlos. She went on maternity leave and Tom took her job. So they have this big job. She's able to hire a nanny. It's like amazing. And she's working on like a
fun project with Vanessa Williams. They're becoming interior designers. It's nice to see Lynette after like eating shit for years finally being in a good place. So she's hiring a nanny and it was actually Vanessa Williams idea.
Susan needs a job. She's a former teacher. And like, you trust her. Like, perfect. Oh, Susan accepts because she has no other choice. And she has such a fucking chip on her shoulder. She's like being such a nasty little bitch the entire time. And then they try sleep training the baby. And Lynette is like very cutthroat. So she's like, listen, she'll cry for 20 minutes and then she'll cry for 19. And like, we'll be fine. You just have to put up with the crying. And Susan's in the corner. I can't hear the baby cry. Literally starts crying. Oh,
Oh my God. And she literally like on the sleep trains, the baby like keeps picking up the baby and Lynette like doesn't know. It is the craziest episode. This woman is maniacal. Whoever wrote the character of Susan Myers hates women. Like if I ever met a person who actually was even remotely similar to Susan Meyer, I would run them over with my car.
But no, I feel like you have, there's annoying people out there. And for every Lynette, you know, you can't just have five women that you like. No, of course. And even the women that I like, like they do things that I don't agree with and I find them annoying. I have never found something Susan said or did to be funny, admirable, cute, moral, right. Like she is consistently stupid and wrong. I just wonder, like are, in that situation, like with Lynette, like are we meant to,
to be with Susan or in any of these situations, are we meant to like feel for Susan? She is the protagonist weirdly. - So this is what bothers me about the show is that she's so clearly wrong. And then when she gets confronted, instead of like Lynette being empowered, it's like, she starts crying that she's having a really hard time. And it's like, oh, poor Susan. Like we don't get resolution. - Interesting. - She should be fired.
Yeah, I just I wonder what we're meant to feel. I know what I feel, but I wonder like what they intended.
I think what they intended like wasn't the audience's reaction at the time. So they quickly shifted Susan's because she is supposed to be the main character, but she very quickly stops becoming it. Like this season. But then also she's like beefing with all the girls behind the scenes. Right. And I think that like the part that I'm up to is definitely like the peak of the beef because Susan has literally moved off of Wisteria Lane and a lot of her scenes are not with the other women. Yeah. She like she's poor. So she moves off the lane. But I think it was a way of like getting her away from the women while keeping her on the show. Wow.
Yeah. If only they knew we didn't want her. Yeah. Why don't they just kill her off? Yeah. Or, you know, she can move across the country. No, but like Desperate Housewives loves to kill off main characters. Yeah, they do. And it's kind of a good thing of the show. Anyone, it could be gone in a minute. Yeah. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? If it's our fifth and final story that's brought to you by Netflix perchance. Perchance it is.
So the new comedy series Running Point on Netflix is whatever. It's the name on everybody's lips. It's number one on Netflix. It's only been out for like a couple of days. And it comes from hitmaker queen who we were just talking about at the top of the show, Mindy Kaling. And it stars everybody's favorite queen of rom-coms, Kate Hudson. So what's the name of the show?
The show is really edgy. It's hilarious. It's a twist on the underdog comedy. It features Isla Gordon, who's played by Kate Hudson and her rise to the top of one of the most iconic professional basketball franchises and her dysfunctional yet lovable family trying to block her shot.
So she's like an Epoqueen. Her family owns this big basketball team, but a scandal forces her brother to resign. Isla is then appointed to president of the team. They're one of the most storied OG LA basketball franchises, and it's her family's business. So she's super ambitious. She's often overlooked, but she has to prove now to her brothers, the board, the sports community, that she was the right choice for the job, especially in the unpredictable male-dominated world of sports. She may not have been part of the original playbook, but as the skeptics will soon learn, she's calling the shots now.
like it or not. It's a really fun and easy binge with sharp and edgy laugh out loud moments. It has a couple of things that you know it's going to be good. It's made by Mindy Kaling. She's never made anything bad. Kate Hudson is a star. And also the cast, you're going to be on IMDb the entire time being like, where do I know this person from? It launched a couple of days ago, so you can watch it now on Netflix. Everybody's talking about it. It's called Running Point. I'm sure when you open the app, it's right there because it's number one. It's really good. So enjoy that. And today's episode is also brought to you by Good Ranchers.
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free bacon, ground beef, or salmon in every order for a year. Just make sure you use our code TOAST at checkout. So that's goodranchers.com. You're going to spring into action, help American farms with every purchase at goodranchers.com. Code is TOAST to get that free meat for a year and $25 off. Good Ranchers, it's American meat delivered. Thank you. I just got cod, halibut, and salmon from Good Ranchers. So we're having a party.
Pop off. Our fifth and final story is some legal news. Jay-Z is actually now suing the young woman, the Jane Doe, who accused him of rape in an explosive lawsuit, who had since dropped her suit. And now she he is suing her. So Jay-Z claims the Jane Doe who accused him of rape in an explosive lawsuit knew full well no such thing ever happened. And now he's dragging her to court over it.
The music and fashion mogul just filed a lawsuit against his anonymous rape accuser and her attorney, Tony Busby. Busby. Classic Buzz. What's his name from, read my mind, sing. Buster Moon. Yeah, I always think of Buster Moon when I hear Tony Busby.
In the lawsuit obtained by TMZ, Jay claims his accuser kept pushing her false rape story in the media and in the courts despite allegedly admitting the assault story wasn't true. He claims that Jane Doe told Busby he didn't assault her and the lawyer, quote, pushed her to go forward with the false narrative of the assault by Mr. Carter in order to leverage a maximum payday. He calls the whole thing an evil conspiracy to get him to pay Busby a large sum of money to keep the allegations quiet, even though they both knew they were pushing lies.
So here's the thing. It's such an egregious story, this whole, this allegation. And if it's not true, like I fully understand Jay-Z taking this all the way to clear his name because these are the types of allegations, even though the thing is dropped, they stay with you forever. So you want to fight it as hard as you can. If it is true, and now this woman who spoke out is being taken to court by her abuser, like,
It's a night. It's a, it's the most horrible nightmarish thing you could possibly imagine, you know? Yes.
And she has spoken out since and said she sticks to her story and said that he's intimidating and terrifying her. So it is confusing why he then dropped the suit. But when I first saw that he was suing her, I was like, well, if this is untrue and she like he did, she did defame him then because we can't. Yes, we can't not. We can't just like forget that that happened. Of course. Like ever since it's come out, like it's definitely clouded how you see him. Our judgment. And I also feel like if
If he wanted to go away, he might have just, like, accepted that she's moved on or dropped it and not, like, brought it back up to the fore. And now that it's going – that he's suing her, like, things are going to come out. So it's an interesting move. Yeah. That I think, like –
speaks to an innocence. Yeah, of course, because if you're guilty and the person drops the charges, you're taking the win and you're shutting up. Yeah, and you're not going to excavate more. No, and make more news stories and remind people about this. You kind of got away with murder. So I agree. All signs point to this potentially being...
innocent i don't know yeah but she is saying that jay-z is trying to bullying her into saying the accusations are false because even though she dropped the suit she didn't say that it's not true right she didn't say she like made it up yeah in documents she claims that she was recently approached outside her home and cornered by two people who told her they were investigators working for one of jay's lawyers she claims that people tried to get her to sign an affidavit stating that her rape claims against jay-z were false but she refused she also claims the alleged investigator that
Investigators asked her if her attorney, Tony Busby, sought her out as a client and offered her money to pursue false claims against Jay-Z to allegations she says that she denied. Yeah, see, also I could see this, a world in which like this person who just wanted to like speak her truth wants no part of this. Like it's something that terrible that happened to her. Now she's being like harassed and intimidated by like one of the most powerful, wealthy men in the world. Like I could see her dropping it for that reason. Yeah. Not because it's not true. So it's just a terrible story. Yeah.
Because the nature of like the original allegations are so. Yeah. And now that she's in a scary place. And now the public is left confused. Yeah. Right. And now she's taking on the financial burden of being sued. Yeah. So was that the fifth and final? That's the fifth and final.
Okay, let's dive into Dear Toasters, our weekly advice segment. So every Tuesday, Jax and I help out a swirly in need. You can email us deartoasters at gmail.com or head over to our website, thetoastpodcast.com. We'll read three submissions every week, try to help out girls going through relationship issues, hygiene issues, recently a lot of breastfeeding issues, whatever it is. It's totally anonymous. Don't worry. We'll never, you know,
Start stuff. And if you have written in to us and we've read your submission on air, if you have an update for us, we have an update today. I would love to hear from you. Warning, today's update is not the one we were hoping for. It was a fun little one we had a couple of weeks ago, and it's pretty recent, so I'll get to it later. Hello, Swirlies, longtime listener and a big-time fan who's in need of some serious help. I have a five-month-old baby girl who's being cared for at home by a nanny two days a week. For the second time in a month, I have gone into my bathroom to discover a giant shit left unflushed in the toilet.
I think the nanny is worried that a flush might wake up the baby, but what do I do? My husband says I need to text her asking her to please try to remember to flush, but I'm so non-confrontational and the thought of it just makes me want to die. Do I suck it up? Do a pre-flush before opening the lid? Please help. Sincerely, a grossed out mama. I just have to say, it didn't occur to me that like she might've been leaving the turd in the toilet, like for the sake of the baby, which makes me think she's a good nanny, which is all that matters. Yeah, no. And it's like, if you,
like everything else about her then like this can be solved. I actually liked yourself of like if you actually don't want to confront her but I do think that you should. If you don't want to you could just do a pre-flush before you open the lid but I think that you could text her literally saying what your husband said and that way it's not really a confrontation if you don't like. He could write the text and send it from your phone just like it should be said. I know but like then you embarrass this woman who's taking care of your baby like I think in terms of priorities and I've never hired a nanny before but trust me I will. I...
I feel like the priority is like, is this a sound of mind person who's keeping my baby safe? Like, okay, her bathroom habits aren't ideal. But again, it's not that she's forgetting to flush for no reason. If the baby's sleeping and it could wake up the baby, like that's really thoughtful actually. So I know it sounds so crazy, but like I might find a way to live with this because it is so hard to find a nanny you could trust. A flush in another room like really shouldn't wake a sleeping baby. Okay, but maybe this is like a really sensitive sleeper.
Is that a thing? Yeah, but she might have a sound machine if she's so sensitive. You can flush in another room. If she doesn't, maybe the solve here is a sound machine. Yeah, but if your baby's sleeping without a sound machine, honestly, like don't bring one in. Slay. Slay, you crushed it. That's true. But also like if your baby's able to sleep without a sound machine, then they can sleep through a flush.
- That's true. We need more details on your baby's sleep schedule. - I think it's okay to say, and also like you don't want to set this precedent of like, you don't want to ever tell, like you want to be able to like, just be like, hey, like quick feedback, just like, you know, flush the toilet. - Yeah, I guess you need to be comfortable giving feedback to the person who's like taking care of your kid. - Or you can even say this like, I appreciate that you don't want to flush, you could just assume the best in her. Say, I appreciate that you don't want to flush the toilet when the baby's sleeping, but it's totally fine. Please flush the toilet when she's sleeping. Like she's able to sleep through that. - Yeah. - Yeah.
Okay. But if you really don't want to and everything else is perfect and you're never going to have another issue with her again, so why even note this one blemish? Sure, do a pre-flush. Yeah, yeah, yeah. At least this isn't like finding things out about your nanny as far as like what you could find out. Oh, you're totally fine. That's nothing. She's got healthy digestion, a healthy digestive system. Yeah. Okay, next up. Hey, Jackie Owen Clard. I misplaced my phone the other day and I grabbed my husband's phone to call and locate it.
I typed wife into the search bar, that's my name in his phone, and another contact came up under the name workwife. No. Jail. I was obviously pissed and I asked him about it. He shrugged it off, said his work colleague put her number in there while they were on a work trip a few months ago just in case he needed to contact her. Contacts, there were seven people on this trip. He claims he didn't realize that that was the name she put in and changed it to her name when I requested him to do so. Should I be worried? Sincerely, a confused newlywed. The workwife is not a thing.
I hate. And the thing is, is that work wife has become like something people talk about, right? And I like how there's no work husband. I know like people say that, but it's not, it's work wife. That's what. Who came up with the term work wife? Who, who?
it was the woman of course it was the work it wasn't the man being like it was the wife it was the work wife just like wanting to feel special yep and maybe it's a funny joke when people are single maybe not funny to me but people have different senses of humor like claudia thought olivia people are different call back but when you have a wife you no longer have a work wife
Do you think that there's something nefarious going on? Do you think there's something nefarious going on between him and this lady? No, but I think, and that's a different question. Like I'm going to operate. No, that there isn't. But I think like work wifery, like speaks to an immaturity and a lack of seriousness that
that I don't put up with. No, when I think of work wife, I think of two single people working in an office who like call each other their work wife in the hopes, it's like a flirty thing. So anybody who's engaging in work wifery who has a real ass wife at home, nefarious by nature. Immature at best, nefarious at worst. You do not have a work wife when you have an actual wife. Like,
You've been given a gift of like finding out about this and you need to keep your eye on this woman. I'm sorry. Women can be Jezebels. And like her putting herself in as work wife. Like girls. So cringe. Stop it. Stop it. There is a character. There's this like blonde girl on TikTok who does this character. She's such a good actress. I fucking hate her.
And Jason, Jason, she is like someone's work wife. And like, she's always doing skits. Like when the wife is around, be like, Jason, can I have your jacket? I'm kind of cold. Like she kind of sounds like Kristen Cavallari. She's insufferable. Like she makes me hate. And I don't like Ben doesn't work in a conventional office. This has never been like something I've experienced. I think there's a special place in hell for women who refer to themselves as someone's work wife. Yeah, I agree. Like that's not a good look for women.
No, we need to work on that stat. Work wife erasure. Work wife erasure. If they won't stop being married in the office, then you should find her partner. Yep. Get a job at his company. Become his work wife. Checkmate. Checkmate.
Now, because last week I had to run off of DT with a duty, I am going to do a third submission and then the update because the update is very brief. Even though we did three submissions last week, you're acting like we were in the red. No, last week I rushed through the final one and I had planned on doing four. But we did three. Yeah, so I'm making it right.
Hey, Jackson Turney. I found a pair of black lacy thongs in my husband's nightstand. I knew they weren't mine because I wear an extra large and these were a small. When I questioned him about it, he said he bought them from an OnlyFans model and he showed me the bank transaction. He says this is totally normal. All guys do this. I think it's extremely strange and I don't understand where he's coming from. Is this normal behavior? I assume these are like worn undies, right? That's like a thing.
Otherwise he could get them from Victoria's Secret. Yeah. And sorry, I say this is a thing. I mean, it's a thing for people in prison. Right. So I don't have personal experience with this. So it's hard for me to weigh in. But like people, these girls make a living. So people do buy this. Now, do married men buy this? Yeah, probably. Is it nefarious? Secretly. Yeah. If you come to find out, like it's not good and they have to pay.
I'm sorry. And what needs to be said here as somebody who wasn't extra large for most of my life, if like my husband's engaging with other women's undies, like I'm upset. If it's a woman three sizes smaller than me, like now I'm also feeling insecure. And like I like because you're you're interested in something so visually different than what you're married to. Like that's a red flag. Is that crazy to say? Oh, I don't know. Sometimes you like to wear big undies. Even if you could be medium sized. I like a big undie.
Yeah, but she said like she wears an extra large. I guess, no, but a thong, you don't wear a big thong. You wear a thong that fits, true to size. Okay, that's a different issue. I didn't even think of that, but like I'm really trying to think practically. Oh, that was my first thought. Because of course you want like someone did something bad, divorce, but like this is your husband, so like what can you do? I think that like you need to like cancel his credit cards. Like he shouldn't be allowed to be on the internet shopping. Agreed. He really has to do penance. Like this is not, this is not good.
Yeah, and I think it's okay for you to say, like, I'm not comfortable with this and I want you to stop. Yeah. Yeah. And it's her or me. Yeah, it's the undies or me. And, like, she's never going to choose you, so I'm what she got. Right. Right. And there's something, like, really losery about a man, like, thinking he's special to an OnlyFans model. Like, get a grip. You are one of millions. You're just a transaction. I'm trying not to judge because I'm trying to, like, there are millions of people who buy these underwear. Do this. There's a lot of people out there like this. No.
I think this is probably something that could be rehabilitated if he's an otherwise PJOM who has a predilection for undies. She didn't say that, by the way. She didn't say PJOM anywhere here. Like, do they have kids? Are you going to end it all over a couple pairs of panties? She didn't say that. And I don't think they have kids. And I don't think that they should end it. But like, I don't know. Give me the ick if like...
Not only that he's like buying undies because that's just like a weird like kink thing. But like he obviously thinks he's like special to this woman, you know, like that's the ick. Like, dude, you're like you're she's paying her rent. Like you are nobody to her. Yeah, I feel like he needs rehabilitation. Yeah.
I love that. And that it's potentially possible. Like maybe a bit of counseling. I feel like this is something that needs to be like a watershed moment in your relationship. Not just like, not a small fight. I don't like this. Don't do it again. Sweeping it under the rug. Like as if you found out he was an alcoholic. Like he's going away. You will not buy anything from the internet. I'm putting on parental controls. Like I think we need to take it really seriously, make a really big deal about it so that he recognizes it that way.
So our update is from a girl who wrote in a couple of weeks ago about the C-section that was scheduled on her sister-in-law's birthday. Remember when the sister-in-law was being like a big whiny bitch about it? Mm-hmm.
I'll reread the submission. So my C-section for my second child was scheduled end of March. It happens to be the same day as my sister-in-law's birthday. She's in her late 30s. I received a very bizarre text message from her going over some of the potential challenges of sharing a birthday. When I read this, I was super confused and then I was in shock. She was getting so bent out of shape over having to share a birthday with her future niece. Backstory is that my first was a very traumatic delivery. We're both very lucky to be here. So I have a lot of nerves and anxiety. And I just did what the doctor said in terms of date of the C-section. She asked us what to do.
Our advice was to text her back saying grow up. Grow up.
OK, here's my update. I responded back to her text message, basically called her selfish and childish. I may have even said, can you not go to dinner the night before like anyone else? What can I say? I was full of pregnancy hormones and very upset about the whole thing. Long story short, she thinks I'm being insensitive about whatnot and we are not on speaking terms. Fast forward to yesterday. I ended up going into preterm labor and had my little lady early at 33 weeks. We are both doing well. She's being a little fighter in the NICU.
This whole thing is so silly and pointless. Yet guess who has not reached out to me to ask how I'm doing? Sisters-in-law, what can I say? That's my update. Love you, ladies. Can I just say this went from like a sisterly spat to like actually unforgivable. Like your baby's in the NICU and your sister-in-law doesn't come by to visit or even text how you're doing. Like, okay, that's like a, that's a relationship ending thing. Yeah, no, she's done you a favor. You're not speaking? Great. You don't want to speak to her. Like, this is it. It's over. She's not coming. She wouldn't be invited. Right.
Like the fact that we were having this argument at all proves how immature and like stupid she is. But the fact that like now a baby came into this world, the baby came early, the baby's in the NICU, like we drop everything stupid because this is what life is about and this is what matters. And the fact that she didn't. Oh, right. You won. The fact that she hasn't reached out
Even if you had a baby, like not traumatically, like it all went perfectly. She might have reached out to the husband. I feel like what she was saying is, you know, she might have checked in on the baby via the husband because she said she didn't check in to see how I'm doing. She didn't reach out to me. Yeah, she said she who hasn't reached out to me and ask how I'm doing. Yeah, that's still like the husband didn't do anything. Sorry. Like it's it's not his time to be checked in on. No, no, but she might be keeping up with the baby via the husband. She's a bitch. You're being devil's advocate. And seriously, like.
ride this wave like don't great i don't want to know you i don't want to see you you can't come and don't retaliate i'm attached to my baby so if we're not speaking you don't see baby yeah and don't retaliate and give her and because she's so like you are the victim here she is the villain do not retaliate and give her anything to be upset with you about like you've won you don't have to see this person ever again like she's a bitch and fuck her yeah cut it out clip
That's Dear Toasters. Yeah, that's right. I did an extra one because we were like running really on time today. I feel like Dear Toasters this week was just like not great for women. Is it ever?
Like some women are really not showing their best selves in Deer Toasters. I just want to say I'm grateful to all the toxic women in the world because they make Deer Toasters what it is. They keep Deer Toasters spinning around. And the crazy husbands, of course. But like the crazy toxic friends. But also I'm grateful to like the OnlyFans girls selling their undies. Like for men to buy and keep Deer Toasters popping. Agreed. It's the Bonnie Blues of this world that keep Deer Toasters spinning. There's degrees. Of course. Of OnlyFandom. Yeah. Yeah.
That's our show, you guys. Tomorrow is Wednesday. We've got the Real Housewives of Beverly Hills recap. And I'll be watching With Love Megan tonight. So we'll have a little bit of With Love Megan recap. WLM. Yeah. It's With Love Wednesdays. With Love Wednesdays.
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