New Era of Toast: Monday, January 27th, 2025
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Good morning, Millennials! Welcome back to The Toast and happy Monday that has truly never felt more like a Monday because today's a start. It's a rebirth. As Ramona Singer would say, it's a renewal of sorts. We are feeling ageless. We are feeling fresh. We are feeling new. Hello, Jackie. How are you?

Hi Turdy, welcome to the toast. I feel like this is a real welcoming. This is a new era of toast. Claudia moved to her new studio and due to that we did a total studio refresh at both studios. So if you're listening as a podcast, you might want to head over to the video today for a

Yeah, secret project reveal over the weekend, Jackie and I both were hard at work doing absolutely nothing. But having studios built for us, we literally look like we're in the Palace of Versailles. I am so excited about this. I can't believe we had like such a major change undergoing. And we did not say one word about it to anyone. Like we were such secret keepers. It's giving like, I don't know, it's giving we can keep a secret.

We were so low key. We didn't even say secret project. Like, I feel like we really wanted people to be excited and surprised by this. So yes, to put a bow on Friday's episode, that's why I couldn't leave my house this weekend because-

Starting Friday, right after we wrap the show, people have been here around the clock, setting up my new studio, getting the lighting, everything. So I stayed home all weekend. We had a variety of play dates, people coming in and out of the house to keep it a fun weekend at home because I couldn't leave. And now you know why. And I wasn't just being cagey.

No, this is truly a new era of toast. This is also our first sort of dry run with all of our new equipment. So if today's episode actually makes it to air, like God is good. God is on our side. We are going to be okay. But we have new chairs and I'm first of all, so excited to see how this affects my coccidinia and my sciatica. I have really high hopes.

I don't think there could have been a worse chair for me to be sitting in than our previous chair when it came to my tailbone issues. And my physical therapist actually said that. So while this technically was like an extravagant expense, it's really a medical expense. It is. It's covered by insurance. 1000%. And it's covered by pet insurance because Brewey is feeling very at peace knowing that there is now space for him on,

It's really a couch. Like we have these big sofa chairs that can fit. We could share one sometime, Turteloo, if you want to get cozy. Depending on like what stage of our like weight fluctuations we're at, we totally could share one. We totally could. But now Bruno can be here comfortably and he's literally been sleeping next to me like the entire hour that we've been getting ready for the show. And I feel like we needed to bring back the do-to-do spirit, the spirit of the do. Be, be, be.

Bring back Bruno. Bring back Bruno. Bring back Bruno. Yeah, that's what I mean. Like, that's what I've been saying. Bring back, you know? Do you feel like nervous today? I feel like this is our first show ever. Like I have, I haven't gotten like nervous for work in a very long time. Not only do I feel nervous for sure. I feel like a little awkward. I don't know why. This just doesn't feel familiar to me yet. So I feel like I'm podcasting and like in someone's house. Yeah, I feel this.

the way that I, what I would feel if I was on like someone else's show, like, I feel like I'm really doing a podcast and not just like sat with my girl Tardy on FaceTime. We'll get to that level of comfortability, but I'm glad we are acknowledging like I have like stage fright to

Yeah, no, it's kind of like when you and I podcast together in person after a really long time of remote podcasting and be like, feel really weird making eye contact with one another and like the vibes are just weird. I'm feeling like a little bit of that awkwardness today because I'm just not used to my usual setup. Like usually I have you right here. So I'm just readjusting, but I could not welcome this new era of Toast more. I feel like the timing is perfect. I love the vibes. I think a lot of people, there will be for sure, like people making edits on social media, you know, rest in peace to the palm leaves because

because they were such an iconic part, an integral part of our brand for the last truly seven years. Now, I don't feel like it has truly reflected who we are as human beings for a really long time. Having said that, people are attached to it and there's validity in those feelings. So I just want to give a moment, hold space for people who might be missing those palm leaves today. Yeah, they were so good to us, but I'm excited to now like look at palm leaves and like look at that design again.

And not be like, oh, I have to sit down and do work. Like I can maybe go back to enjoying that aesthetic. And that's exciting. But I welcome a new aesthetic. It's Coombs afresh. It's been...

A while since we've done like a total facelift and we've never done it as intentionally as this, but I guess every time we move studios, the look changes. So you moving was meant to change the whole thing, which we've been talking about for a while. So the timing really worked out, but I am very excited. I think these party vibes like really reflect us as people because it's like very traditional and modern at the same time. And that's how I would describe us.

very swirly as well and I can't really stress enough how like yes our show looks different but what's most different and I think what people will probably appreciate the most is we've really upgraded all of our equipment so when it comes to videos and audios like we really spared no expense in giving everybody the most premium experience when it comes to watching listening receiving the toast so I'm looking forward to way less tech issues um because our last studio was truly built by Jackie I and YouTube tutorials like we made it as far as we could and

Yeah, Guitar Center. We made it as far as we could, like with our own free will and our, you know, wit and our scrappiness. And this time we outsourced. I can confidently say I had no part in building the studio and that's how I know it's going to be great. That's how it should be. We called in the big guns.

Yeah, I will miss that sort of like, you know, scrappy, shitty element. Like having that sort of jankiness on top of everything we do is so slowly coded. Well, actually, Claude, we're still going to be those scrappy girls because like once they leave today, they're never coming back. And it's on us to learn how to use all of this and do everything post-show that we've always done. So like we'll still be those girls. Don't worry. We had a three-day break. Yeah, we did. It was so nice. And we're coming back.

Yeah, this is like the least amount of effort I've ever exerted in a project. And I have loved every minute of it. I really truly feel like a star. Also, of course, we vlog the whole thing. So vlog is coming out on Patreon. Claudia vlogged her half. I vlogged mine. And I'm really excited to see yours too. It'll be like a dual vlog, which I love that. We should do more of that.

We should. And we just, there's so much newness and different because I'm also in like a completely different physical space. Jackie's in the same room, but we've just totally turned it upside down. And I left behind a great deal of, of my past at that former studio. I didn't even realize like how much of a part the sirens played every day. I think people who don't live in New York, like really felt like New Yorkers when listening to this podcast, like, you know, chasing ambulances and things. They also felt like they were being pulled over, which I'm happy for you guys that you hopefully will no longer feel that way.

My new studio has like one and a half windows. It faces an alley. Like we're not going to be hearing anything. And while that's obviously great for like an audio experience, it's not great for those people who really wanted to tune into the toast and feel like they were living in New York City. And feel like they were watching an episode of Cops. Literally. I'm going to miss the excitement. I really am. Yeah. And I didn't even realize how many people were going to miss the truckers for Tayshia. That was a chapter that I kind of forgot about. I wonder how Tayshia.

feels about the truckers for Tisha, but yeah, they were such a big part of the lore of the last studio. So we'll miss them too.

Wait, totally separate side. Did you see the Dumois update on Rachel Kirkenell and Matthew James and then Rachel Kirkenell's comment on it? Yeah, I've kind of been through a lot with it. First, I saw that Dumois commented she had a blind item that like Matt and James were spotted together in the city. And I was like, Matt and James. Yeah, James. And I was like, seriously, I'm done with these two. Like they don't even know if they're together or not. Like I can't. It's so true. Leave us out of it. I can't just keep being invested in their story. And then Rachel commented like, no, we weren't together.

So she literally said, was it me implying that he's like with another woman? Or I just, they just think it's implying like this is, or I think this is implying that like these are lies. Yeah, no. Oh, you think there was like no spotting whatsoever? Oh yeah. I guess like, how do you mistake Rachel Kirkenell? Nobody looks like Rachel Kirkenell. That's why she is Rachel Kirkenell. Yeah. Like if you know Matt and James, then you know what Rachel Kirkenell looks like.

It's giving Elizabeth and James. Yeah, it is. That's so funny. That to me was a demerit in the Dumois column more so. Yeah, yeah. No, it's definitely a crack at her credibility. Yeah, like where's the accountability? You got it wrong. Yeah, yikes. Although the last time she did supply a Rachel and Matt blind item about Japan, like it kind of blew the whole case wide open. I don't want to hear about Japan. Maybe she got a little big for her bridges. I don't want to hear about Japan. It's like it confuses me.

The Rachel-Matt continuum.

Yeah. And they're like, they're time travelers because they're in Japan together. They're also in London having pizza and they're also in America breaking up in three hours and posting on Instagram and they're at Nima colon. So it's a lot. I just want to say, I might be hearing like phantom things, but is your camera still recording? I just heard like a beep boop. Yes. And yes, the red light. Okay. Just with this new studio, like I have to stay on top of it. Just, I heard like a beep boop. It wasn't my beep boop. It was a year. It wasn't mine either. No, my beep boop was good. We're good. Okay.

So we have such great stories today. Actually, a lot happened over the weekend, especially with the football of it all yesterday. Especially with the football. Yeah.

But I would be remiss, devastated, and heartbroken if I did not update everybody on my journey to watch all the movies that are nominated for the Oscars this year. I made so much headway this weekend, and all that remains for me is The Brutalist. And that's because they refused to put it on some sort of streaming service. And I'm not sitting in a movie theater for three hours, because while I love going to the movies, what I've realized is that I think I like the movie a lot less when I see it in theaters versus in the comfort of my own home. Like...

I was thinking about this the other day. Me and Ben were recounting how many movies we've walked out of. Like I have walked out of so many movies and I feel like if I was watching them at home, I would have just finished them. Do you know what I mean? Interesting. No, I feel like you would have just turned it off, but because a walkout is so much more serious. Yes.

You're like, I walked out versus like, oh, I just went on my phone and let it play till the end. I feel like I actually like movies more in theaters because I don't go on my phone and I really have to be sad for them. But also I don't go to the movies often. So when I go, I see something that I know I'm going to like. Therefore, I like all of the movies that I see in theaters because it's like I'm choosing differently.

So in theaters, Ben and I on Saturday saw A Complete Unknown, which is the Bob Dylan movie, Timothée Chalamet. And I now understand, of course, why it's called A Complete Unknown. It's still a terrible movie. Actually, when I was done with the movie, I didn't understand why it was called that. And then Ben was explaining it to me. And so let me say this.

Ben really liked the movie. Ben happens to, you know, have very fond feelings about Bob Dylan because he grew up with a dad who loved Bob Dylan. And I could, that's so Bruce, like Bruce loves that type of, he loves Billy Joel. He loves like these old Jewish men, you know, James Taylor. Like it's so, I could see Ben. So Ben was like, I loved it. And he was like, I know you hated it. I didn't say one word during the whole movie. I was counting down the minutes. I really didn't like it. And I'm not sure if it's because one, the movie was bad.

Two, and I guess I'm just sort of like putting this together, like I don't like Bob Dylan. Like I don't know his music, even like his biggest. I knew one song from the whole movie. The Answer, My Friend. The Answer, My Friend. And the whole movie is like about how he hates that song, you know?

And so all I really know about Bob Dylan is what Timothee Chalamet portrayed to me. And so I feel like that's unfair because Timothee Chalamet made him into the most unlikable human being on the planet. And I don't know what prosthetics or anything. They made him so physically unattractive that I was looking at pictures of Bob Dylan. I'm like, oh, he was a major cutie. No, Timothee Chalamet as Bob Dylan was like full blown uggo, really ugly. Like, I don't know what these prosthetics were.

Cause I was shocked to see like young hot pictures of him. I'm like, Oh, I can understand how we like swept the nation. He was a cutie. Yeah. Um, also Bob Dylan is like a huge Jew. Okay. You would never know from the movie. Like there was one scene where like he got a piece of mail that said Robert Zimmerman, um,

And his girlfriend was like, is that your name? And that was literally it. So it's like, is he hiding his Jewish identity? So I'm like, oh, is he a self-hating Jew? Then I went on, like did some research. Oh, the man loves Judaism, wrote this beautiful song, Neighborhood Bully about Israel in the 80s. Like he's been, he's been knowing about Israel since the 80s. No, so I was like,

where is his identity? It was just, I feel like as somebody who knew nothing, nothing about Bob Dylan, I still know nothing. The movie taught me nothing. Everybody in the theater was like an older person who probably like knew a lot of the context. I did not. Um, he just kind of looked like an ass. Okay. Maybe he is an ass.

Like, no, that's not the vibe I was getting on Google. Oh, okay. I can't add, just like you, I have no point of reference for Bob Dylan. I can't add anything to this conversation. I know. And then at the end of the movie, they had like, you know, classic black and white text with like all of his accomplishments and how like much of a...

like a thoughtful and also cause driven person he was. I'm like, that was not Timothy. Timothy was just a dick. Like all these things. I'm like, that does not add up with the person you just portrayed in this movie. Like he won a Nobel peace prize. He, um, like was really like passionate about social causes. I'm like this in the movie, he was passionate about nothing except smoking cigarettes. Like it was really just, I didn't like it. But having said that, I don't know if that's like a universal truth. Like,

Like I think Ben liked it. I think a lot of the people around me were like cackling. I was just not feeling it at all. Okay. Yeah. Like I wouldn't want to watch a movie about some random guy off the street either. Like I don't know him. It was giving guy on the street. It was giving, I don't know her. Like. Yeah. Yeah. A hundred percent. Yeah.

But then that led me, I was like making progress. I'm like, wow, I only have like two more movies that I want to see. Well, no, then you told me you saw it. And I'm like, Claudia, you need to watch Amelia Perez because we talk about it all the time. You're watching the Oscar movies. It's the most nominated. Like, I'm sorry, you have to watch it if you want it really to be taken seriously. And there's so much discourse around it that I absolutely, I had to. And Ben didn't know what it was about.

And I kind of tricked him into watching it because he wanted to look up what it was about. And I was like, no, I really wanted him to be completely surprised. That's also the best anyway. Yeah. And it's such a sort of outlandish concept for a film that I thought he would really enjoy the surprise. So let me tell you, we watched Amelia Perez. And by no stretch of the imagination is it a good movie. I would never recommend it. It's really...

It's almost satirically bad, especially the elements of the musical. And I watched the whole movie, which felt like 10 movies in one. Like it was this weird, stupid musical. It was this story of gender identity, but like very quickly that ends. Like the drug lord becomes, like transitions in the first 20 minutes. It's a two hour movie. Like it's actually not about that at all. It's five different movies in one. It's about the sex change. It's about sex.

her new life it's about the organization and then it's like a hostage movie it is seriously the most aimless pointless movie because when and I'm telling Ben as we're watching I'm like no I mean and this is like a story that really shook Mexican culture at the time and I'm like I'm explaining like how crazy it was and then I wanted to wait till I was done with the movie to like research what parts of the movie were real what parts of the movie were like you fictionalized um and I come to find out that the entire movie is fiction like this is not a true story

Yeah I don't know why you were under the impression that it was a true story you had said stuff like that on the show like I think because the tostadas were really offended by it and you were getting the idea that like why choose this story to tell as if it was a true story out of so many other true stories but that was just like a leap that you had made.

So after, like upon finding out that the whole thing was fake, I really felt like almost annoyed that I wasted my time. Like I learned nothing from this movie. And then I was reading a lot of the feedback and why it's overwhelmingly negative. Like it's a movie that's beloved by critics, but

but despised by both like the Mexican community and the trans community. It's like, this is our story. No, it's not. And then Mexico's like, are you guys kidding me? Like you never make movies about our culture. And the one that you do is like really highlighting the worst parts of Mexican culture. That's really not emblematic of like Mexico. And that's like drug cartels. It's all about like these missing, these people who go missing, all about violence and crime and drugs. And it's like, really, that's what you're putting out there. So everyone's mad for their own reasons. And I'm mad because I wasted two and a half hours of my fucking time.

Why does it have 13 nominations? Like who wants this? I'll tell you why. I'll tell you why. Cause they literally like created a movie to check a million boxes in the Oscar category. Like that's why they made it a musical. Like, so it could be nominated in score. They literally were just like doing rent. Cause the movie felt seriously, just like a hodgepodge of,

crapola like I don't even know what I was watching half the time you know what it feels like it feels like if you ask AI like write me a script for a movie that will win all of the Oscars and then they start checking off all of these buckets that the Oscars care about

And obviously the Vaginoplasty song was the highlight of the film for me. And Ben literally was like, oh, this is what you've been singing all week. I'm like, yeah, Sex Change Operation. But there were so many songs, Jackie, and they were all just like that. They were like either in Spanish or English. And the way, and I know this is what musicals are. Like we're having a conversation, then I start to sing. But it was highlighted. So I never think in a musical, it's weird that that person's singing, right? Yeah. I'm like, yay, the song is here. Yeah.

And Amelia Perez, I'm like, why are you singing? Like, it was so wrong. Like, none of it added up. And let me tell you, in the beginning of the movie, when she's looking for a doctor who can, like, do the operation but also protect the identity of this person, this very high-profile drug cartel lord, she travels around the world looking for, like, the best doctors, and she ends up in Tel Aviv. And I was like, no way is this movie taking me to Israel. Like, that's what I mean. Like, you never knew what this movie was going to throw out at you next. And they ended up going with Dr. Wasserman, the Jewish doctor from Israel, who, you know...

We'll keep your secret. Kept the secret. Like the movie just kept going right turn, left turn, left turn, right turn. Like you just, I can't even tell you what the movie was about. Why you got to bring the Jews into it. Yeah, no, it was just like, we have our own problems and this terrible movie, like we really don't, we don't need this. It's a narrative we wish to be excluded from one in which we never asked to be a part of. It was actually embarrassing for the well-known people.

to participate in this movie. And it's crazy because Zoe Saldana is winning, so she doesn't look at this project as embarrassing. No, as a stain, no. But the dancing and the singing and just the crazy dialogue. What was Ben's reaction when Selena Gomez says that line? Oh my God. Yeah.

And she says it in Spanish. So it obviously like hits different because you're reading the subtitles, but she essentially is like talking to this man and she's like, my pussy hasn't stopped the robbing since I last saw you. And she says it in Spanish. Um, and he was like, Whoa, that's what I mean. Like, and it was Jackie, it was so unnecessary. Like the guy that she was on the phone with is like an old lover, old boyfriend. They get back together. Like,

It wasn't even like a crazy type of relationship. They just kept doing such crazy things for the sake of what? Absurdity. Like the theme of the film was absurdity. Nothing was cohesive. Nothing made sense. It was seriously, by the end, I was getting so fatigued by the plot twist because by the end, it's a movie about a hostage and they have to get the hostage back. And I'm like, how the fuck did we get here? It was seriously the biggest waste of my time, especially knowing that it was not actually based on true events. And I don't know...

like what led me there and I'm surprised because people are always so quick to correct me like when I make things up in the comments and I didn't see one person say that Amelia Perez was not based on a true story that's because no one's seen it so they couldn't correct you because

because they didn't know. Correct. Correct. So things I did, that. Things I wish I didn't do, also that. And the only thing I have left is The Brutalist. And if anybody could give me like some tea on whether or not it's going to be on a stream or anytime soon, that would be enormously helpful. Also, when I went to the movie theaters, I got into a fight with an old lady. Oh my God, turdy. I was walking out of the bathroom at the end of the movie and there's one door into the

bathroom and one door out. So she was coming in, I was coming out. We just like clashed. She was like an old lady with a cane. So I was like, oh my God, I'm so sorry. And I obviously moved away and let her walk through. And she like rolled her eyes at me so hard. Like I was doing such, like I didn't do anything wrong. I was just leaving while you were entering. It's just unfortunate that there's one door. No, like things happen. Doors open. And,

I guess normally, like under certain circumstances, like a lady with a cane, like obviously I would never be disrespectful to, but like, bitch, I'm pregnant now. So like, we're in the same boat. Like we're both not well. So I literally was like, you're going to be fine. Like I got, what did I do? I went out of the way. I said, oh my gosh, I'm so sorry. Even though I didn't do anything wrong, we just collided like very naturally. I did nothing wrong. So I'm

my God, I'm so sorry, please. And then I moved out of the way for her and her cane to come through. And she's like shaking her head, rolling her eyes. And honestly, like, sorry, I don't care who the fuck you are. You're a bitch. You're a bitch. It's timeless. I totally agree. That's so crazy. I,

Like, I'm just so sick of letting these people, what, because you're geriatric? No, and by the way, normally I would, but now I'm like, I'm checking a box. Like, I'm also, like, I deserve, like, you know, doors open for me. I'm pregnant, so you want to play with me? You want to play with me, lady? So what'd you do? Did you hit her?

no I just said you're gonna be fine and I'm 90% sure she didn't even hear me of course she didn't like she's probably down the hallway and you're like to finally come back with your comeback she was right next to me but she was so old like oh you mean she was hard of hearing a thousand percent because she didn't even react and you know she was the type of bitch like who would have reacted if she heard me damn well that's really awkward

no it wasn't it kind of felt good okay well I read this weekend finally oh I saw your story so I read the goddess of Warsaw which is like a historical fiction book that um I actually wish I picked it for the redheads and oh my gosh I posted like that I loved it so much I just like had a couple notes and the author dm me she's like what are your notes

Oh my God. That's seriously the worst part of being as successful as we are, especially in the literary space, like roasting a book on your stories. Sometimes you'll like really hate it. Her message was really nice. And the thing is I didn't roast the book at all. Like I said, I loved it. Highly recommend. I had a couple notes and by notes, I meant like thoughts, but like, of course I have a couple thoughts. I just read a whole book about the Holocaust. And it's also like, you have notes. Who the fuck do you think you are? So she was like, what are your notes? Like would love to answer some questions. I was like, no, I just meant like my note is that I loved the historic. It was like historical and,

And then also Modern Day and the historical piece. So it's actually about the Warsaw Ghetto Uprising in Poland, which I learned about like back in the day, but I needed a refresher because it's such a crazy story. It's like tragic, but it's also like Masada. These just like heroic, tragic stories, right?

you're choosing not like if you die, but how you die and with dignity. So I loved when like that part of the book and then eventually that part ends and then we go into the future. And I just really enjoyed that part more. So that was like my note. And I was like, no, I just like love that. And I just wish there was more of that. But the book was amazing. And I do wish that I chose it for the redheads, but you should still read it if you are interested. And also today's Holocaust Remembrance Day.

So a great way to celebrate. Donate to the Mark Schoenwetter Holocaust Education Foundation, mshef.org. Or if you'd like to broaden your knowledge, there are so many stories, so many tragic stories. And also what I liked about this book is that it was a historical fictional take, but it brought in a lot of like true things that happened. And I learned so many, like just remember when you were reading that story, I think Sophie's Choice and you like learned about like

things that happened that you didn't know, just like small moments or people. There was a lot of that, just characters and events that I didn't know about that she brought like true things into it. So I learned a lot about that time that way. And if you do want to learn like historical fiction, it makes the reading like easy. It's not like you're reading a big nonfiction history book, but you get a lot out of it. Yeah. So it was actually the perfect thing because I just had said I wanted to read things with more heft and

And it was definitely hefty. So shout out. Well, also for Holocaust Memorial, I feel like people are always asking like, you know, what to do. And reading a book is great advice. I also feel like check today specifically like a local JCC or like a Hillel or Chabad. Because I think that a lot of them put on programs like of having Holocaust survivors come and tell their stories. And, you know, we're less than 100 years out from the Holocaust. But like we're getting there. And so...

we're the last generation of people who will be able to like hear firsthand experiences from people who lived through it. People like Mark, but there are, you know, quite a few left. Most of them live in Israel, but a lot of them live in America. And so they, and a lot of them go around and do like speaking gigs. They answer questions. They just tell their stories. And it's like so powerful. If you've never met a Holocaust survivor in person or had the opportunity to hear them speak, it's literally the biggest privilege in the world. So just like check your local JCC or something, you know? Yeah. Yeah, definitely. I feel like they'd be doing that today.

Yeah, so that's always a good reminder. And last thing, just, you know, taking a sharp right turn. Everyone just ignore me. Lots of people want to know, update on our theme song competition. Have we chosen a winner? What's the status? So Jackie and I have chosen a winner. We are incommunicado with the winner. The winner is, you know, working on signing some paperwork.

And then the winner will fork over the song and Jackie and I will get in the studio. So I don't know if we're going to share until we have our own version. What do you think? Should we share like the winning version on our Instagram? No, I think that we should wait. So it's a nice, big, exciting reveal. And I'm very excited about that. Gotta get on the studio, do my vocal warmups. Yeah.

There's just so much change happening here. Like, it's so funny. We do nothing. We literally change nothing for years. Then in one week, we have like a whole new song, a whole new studio, a whole new life. And when it rains, it pours. Yeah, I completely agree. How are you feeling about all the change? Pulse check. Cause I know you're not like a change friendly person.

Sort of gal. Person. I'm actually with this particular set of changes, like I'm really comfortable with it. You guys know how like I had so many problems with my old studio. This new one is just closer to my house. The bathroom's cleaner. Like everything about it is better. So I'm feeling okay. Like I'm getting rid of the good morning millennials, which is like going to be like a big thing for us.

And replacing it with a theme song that I'm having like a little bit more, you know, second thoughts about because it's just it's hard to create these sort of iconic moments that people come to love and expect and know. And we're just doing away with one. It feels wasteful. I don't know. I don't know. I don't know. Yeah. But evolution. Evolve or die. Evolve or die. So that's that's what brings us to today.

That is what brings us to today. Also, just so much to discuss. Taylor on the field. Travis is going to the Super Bowl. Yeah. Mars has a new song that's really taking the world by storm. Big football news. We'll do football at the top of the stories. So in order to recap last night and the puff pastry hot dogs that I made, let me tell you, they were so damn good. I'm cracking up because you and Ben called me and they like thought that I stole Ben's idea to make an Ina puff pastry.

Yeah, Ben had just made a video of him recreating an Ina Garten recipe using puff pastry and mustard that he saw on Ina Garten when we were watching Back to Basics, Barefoot Contessa. And then, you know, one week later, my sister is making a puff pastry Ina recipe.

dish using mustard from her Ina cookbook. So we didn't accuse. We just thought like maybe she sought inspiration. So we just called and asked. But then we realized we came together and we turned on Ina and we're like, oh, she has one trick. And it was in her cookbook and it was in her show because- Because there's multiple recipes. I had my eye on that recipe in that cookbook for like two years, but I never made it. And then I was like, I wanted pigs in a blanket. And I was like, oh yeah, that Ina recipe. And it's in her cookbook and it's on her show. But honestly-

painting on some gray pecan on puff pastry chef's kiss. She is right for that.

Let me say something about Ina. And I feel like maybe it's unfair to say it just about Ina. I think it's any- Are you going to drag her by her hair? I'm not, because her hair is not long enough for that. But what I'm going to say is, and I think that if you were to watch any, because me and Ben just got like obsessed with Ina. Her show was on max. We must've watched in the last two weeks, like 25 episodes of her show. It's short, it's 25. And so you just watch a lot of her. So I don't think it's specific to her. I think you would find this with any chef, but like,

Like she's kind of quirky. Like I feel like her food actually just tastes good because it's all butter and salt. Like that's it. Anything is good if you put a whole stick of butter and a gallon of salt in it. She garnishes everything with more salt. And that's like her catchphrase. She's like a little bit more salt because you can never have enough. Actually, you can. It's called high cholesterol. Like she's just sort of like...

I don't know. I feel like it's her food. Good. Or is it just the butter? Well, I will say everything that I've made from one of her cookbooks has been good. And I don't go for like the butter heavy recipes, but last night's,

hot dog in puff pastry was extremely decadent. Like I had a two thirds of one and that was as much as I could have, but it was, it was a special treat for sure. Of course, of course. But it was really, just saying really power. And I don't think it's specific to Ina. I'm not being critical of her. I'm just, even though I feel like a lot of people think me and Ina have beef because I made fun of her like memoir so endlessly and my husband's in love with her. You and Ina do have beef. Why wouldn't I just like her? I was talking about her yesterday. I had people over not to rub it in. And we were talking about

And

And I forget what we were saying, but it came up like your thoughts like on her and how like you literally dragged her to filth the last time we talked about it. Every time we talk about her, like every time I tried to be like her memoir is exciting. Well, it's a bad name, first of all. And second of all, I think ever since Martha Stewart like said that thing about Ina not fucking with her after going to prison, I just realized like that's, Ina's not the type of girl I would ever be friends with. She's not the girl you thought she was. She's not the girl I thought she was. And that's not my fault. That's Ina's fault. I agree. I agree.

Great. Great. Now, without further ado-da-do-da-do, it is time for the Fast Five Stories that you need to know. Fast Five Stories that you need to know are brought to you by The Flip-Off. We've got something super exciting to talk about. The premiere of HGTV's buzzy new series, The Flip-Off. And trust us, as experts on the matter of Tarek El Moussa, you do not want to miss this one. Christina Hack and Tarek were married. You guys know, they're the king and queen of flipping shows. And then...

They got divorced. But now, after 10 years of history and drama and a couple of new marriages, these exes are ready to face off to prove who's the best flipper around in the flip-off. It's Tarek and his new wife, as we all know, Heather El Moussa, flipping against Christina. And their goal is to flip a house with the biggest payoff. So it's HGTV at its absolute best. But it's not just about the flips. This series serves up stunning transformations, competitive banter, and some deeply raw and at times uncomfortable personal moments.

It's not all gloss and glamour. It's gritty, real, and totally captivating. So we're going to see Christina and her soon-to-be ex-husband throw back to Josh Hall in a really intense exchange on their way to the flip. It's really awkward. And then Christina then opens up to Tarek about the troubles in her marriage. So the drama is real, but the heart of the series is really the transformations. Christina and Heather's designs and eye for style really elevate the new series with high design that you don't see anywhere.

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TV star Ant Anstead is also guesting on the show. Ant Anstead. They will be judges to compete. So mark your calendars. The flip-off, Must Watch TV, is premiering Wednesday, January 29th at 8, 7 central. To see who wins with the first-of-its-kind competition, you don't want to miss it. Today's show is brought to you by

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You're welcome. Oh, I haven't sung in the studio yet. Let's hear like what the, just let's get a quick mic check. Oh, yeah. It's giving Hannah Montana transitions. Yeah. So good. I would love to get Hannah Montana transitions like between ad breaks and even stories in this episode. Like,

We would have to do them live because. Okay. By the challenge accepted. I will. So next time I say, are you ready for the next story? Like every time I say it, if you could just remember to do a little ditty. Yeah. Yeah.

story little football news the Chiefs and Eagles are going to the Super Bowl the Eagles triumphed over the Ross Washington's and the Chiefs beat the Bills sorry they don't even deserve the name Ross Washington sorry the way they played like crud sorry don't come for me fans like it was not giving commanders it was giving it

It was even the Washington, you know what, I don't want to come for, like, it's even, I'll say it, I'll say it. It was even the Washington losers. Like, my God, ever heard of catching a ball? Yeah, they did lose. It was really bad. They lost by like 25 points. But like the commanders were never going to the Super Bowl. Like, I feel like we could have called that. But you, good luck telling their fans that. Last week, no, like the team named commanders, they don't even know who they are.

It doesn't elicit that sort of like Super Bowl energy. It really doesn't. So they're not going to the Super Bowl, like as you would think. And the Chiefs did beat the Bills, which after the Eagles beat the Commanders, I was, by the way, I didn't watch a lick of either game, but I was then like hoping for the Bills to win more, even though typically I wouldn't have cared. Just to like do something different. Eagles v. Bills. Yep. So I watched both games in full. The birds are fighting. Yeah.

It was clear from day one, like minute one, that the Eagles were going to be winning that game. So it was like, okay, who are the Eagles going to play? And I also was rooting for the Bills, one, just to change it up. And two, because I heard a statistic about the Bills that Ben told me that actually made me like want to cry for them. Like they deserve it. Okay. First of all, they have never won a Super Bowl, which is just kind of crazy. Like they had OJ, you know, they're like not like a loser-y unknown team. Like they're always like making waves.

But they have been three times or maybe even four. Jackie, they went in 1990, 91, 92, 93, and they lost every single time. And then this would have been their chance to go and they're not even getting to go. Because I also feel like getting to go is really major, even if you don't win. Like obviously winning the Super Bowl goals, but like getting to play at the Super Bowl is a goal as well. Huge, huge.

So yeah, by then I was sort of rooting for the Bills. But like the Chiefs these days, like they're just the Patriots. Like they are just that team. They are the best team. They're not like winning by chance at this point. The greatest in the league. And I'm happy for the Eagles to have another shot at the Chiefs. I feel like they wanted the Chiefs to win so that they can like

have that moment. I feel like they might even let Jason Kelsey play in the game or be on the sidelines. But the thing is, and sorry, like don't come for me Eagles fans because I respect you and I, and I, like I understand your desire, but based on just what I know, like it's not even a question the Chiefs are going to win again because look at like the games they played last night. And that's what I don't like about these two divisions because I feel like based on merit, the Superbowl

should have been the Chiefs and the Bills. Like they were the best teams in the league this year. So the fact that like the Bills don't even get to go kind of sucks. And like I think that if the Eagles played the Bills, they would have lost. Do you know what I mean? Yes, I do know what you mean. And so odds are they're rolling into the

the Super Bowl having played no offense Washington like this big team of losers like who seriously could have got arrested if they tried and like yeah they won by so many points it's like not impressive like if I played a preschooler yeah I would win also so I think that like they are coming in like they get their hot shit and the Chiefs like the Chiefs played the Bills like they earned hard it was a three game three point game like they earned it last night so I feel like it's not even a question of who's gonna win and I just want to say like no hate to anyone involved but

I'm so bored. I'm so bored. Like how many times have I seen the Eagles play the Chiefs? Like a thousand times. Like give me someone new. And I understand that's how it works. Like when you're building dynasties, it's like, I get it. I get it. But just as a consumer who's like purely showing up for entertainment purposes, like I am bored. I agree. I think odds are the Chiefs will win like based on stats and skill. But like sometimes people have an off game and sometimes people have this team doesn't. Sorry. They literally don't.

someone could get injured god forbid you know I don't want that to happen but sometimes like sometimes the juju is off and that's what the eagles have to hope for they have built in contingency plans because I feel like earlier in the year Travis was kind of stinking it up and they like kept winning because they have such a good team they have other alternates like they're stacked they have you know plans in place for these kinds of things for injuries and lack of juju and I also want to say so not only do they need lack of juju the eagles want it more

Yes. And that maybe for that reason, they could win. Like they are the underdog. What is Jason Kelsey say? Hungry dog is going to eat. Like they might win because of that. Cause they're hungry. They might. They're hungry. Um,

So I just, I think I've seen this film before. And I don't know, it's just that hitting in the way that it did the first time around. Like I loved seeing Taylor on the field. Right. But it wasn't as crazy. It's just like she belongs there now, you know? Yeah. She belongs with me. It's like, girl, get down there. Even the last time we were like, there's no way she's going to be on the field. And then she went. So like, I don't know. I just, I was like hoping for something new. Maybe like Hailee Steinfeld's on the field, you know? Yeah. Was she at the game last night? Did you see her? Yeah.

I don't know. I went to her social media and she doesn't post as like a wag ever. Her social media is extremely business promotional, which I really respect. She is this global superstar, but not even on her stories, like wearing an off season puffer from Kristen Juszczyk. Like I saw none of it. Yeah. But I feel like she was definitely there as the fiance. I don't think anything called her away, but yeah, she's pretty low key.

She is. So I don't even know if we would have seen her on the field. I feel like we would have. And we were robbed of that. But it is exciting. Like for the girlies, Ler will be at the Super Bowl. Like who's going to be in the box with her? This whole thing again. But yes, we have seen this film before. But we liked the movie. So the movie that we liked got a sequel. It's true. A sequel. I read a statistic that was like Taylor's been to 22 Chiefs games and they've won 19 of them. That's just like so crazy. Yeah. Jessica Simpson is like crying when she read that.

A thousand percent. Like she, whatever the opposite experience Jeff, Jessica that Jessica had Taylor's currently having. Yes. But I also think like Taylor goes to all the home games and don't people just statistically win more home games. Yeah, that's true. She does go to a lot. Not to say that she's not his good luck charm. And everyone wants to play better when Laura is in the room.

It's definitely intimidating. And they are also just like a dynasty. They're just a good team. She picked like a, maybe she dates Travis because he's on the best team and that's why the best team keeps winning because it's the best team that she chose. It would have been impressive if she like started dating someone from the Cleveland Browns and all of a sudden they're at the Super Bowl, you know? Like that's impressive. 1000%. Yeah. She's just like, you know, shooting fish in a barrel. Yeah. No, but Travis only got a date with her because he's on the best team. She wasn't dating someone from the Jets.

Right, right. Not to bring the Jets into this. They've been through a lot. I'm just bringing everyone into it so people can't say, like, Charity, you're so mean to, like, the Detroit fans. Don't, bitch. I mean to everyone. And also, I think you're mean to all the fans of the NFL because they're all crazy. They're all so crazy, and it's also funny. They're all the elk of crazy people, like, in a different way than other crazy people. But, like, people get so bent out of shape that—

Although I will say, 'cause I do think like a lot of the times people's reactions are so crazy.

I did last night, like I did really feel for the Bills fans, mostly because like I love Josh Allen. I really relate to somebody with old tweets. And I just, I love him. And I think he's really sweet. And I think he like works really hard. And he does all that he can. He didn't mess up, you know? Like I just want to say I'm not a football expert, but I know that there's like a group of people whose job it is to protect the quarterback. And they had obviously like lost their vision or something. Because they were just doing a terrible job last night. Like he did all that he could. Nobody had like one big error. I felt bad for them. They played well.

They fought hard. They played a good game. And isn't that sometimes worse than just like losing by a ton and like you never stood a chance? Like you were this close. Is Bruno choking? Is he okay? Oh, classic Broody. This close. What is it? Lambo? No, that's something else. Lombardi. Lombardi. They don't get Lamborghinis when they win the Super Bowl. No, no. Lambo Field is the Packers.

And the Lombardi trophy is the big football that they get if they win the Superbowl. And Travis saying again, he said, he's saying, do a little dance, make a little love, get down tonight. That's what I'm saying. Like everything is just like kind of giving repetitive. I literally, I feel like I'm living in a simulation. Yeah. Because nobody, nobody like recalled back to him. He said, do a little dance, make a little love. And then he basically like gave the microphone to the crowd to say, get down tonight. And they didn't realize what was happening. So it was like,

get down tonight it was just like a little awkward yeah and it's just I always forget that that's his personality I know because he's so serious on the field like except when he's you know doing his end end game end zone dance yeah I wanna be an end game well that's our Super Bowl two weeks the big game we'll see who it's gonna be though at this point like I don't care so much

Yeah, no, at this point I kind of know. And Chiefs v. Eagles was really fun when it was Brothers Bowl. The Kelsey Bowl. Brothers Bowl. Yeah. Without Jason, it doesn't hit the same. Agreed. Hashtag bring back my Jason. Are you ready for our next story? Mm-hmm. How quickly they forget. Where's my transition? Ooh, yeah.

as a Beverly Hills star, Erika Jayne's son, Tommy Rizzo, Tommy Zizzo Jr. testifies at ASAP Rocky's trial. So yeah, this is really just a who's who of Hollywood and showing what a small town it can be. It

It's so true. It's so random. And I think when people read the headline, you're like, what? But then you hear the facts. It's like actually not that crazy. Yeah. Thomas Zizzo Jr., an L.A. police officer and son of Erica Jane. People don't realize because he's not on the show, but she has a son and he is a police officer in L.A. And he took his last name is not Jader Girardi. So you would never know that they're related. It's Zizzo.

He took the stand on Friday during day one of ASAP Rocky's trial, TMZ reported. ASAP faces two counts of assault with a semi-automatic firearm related to a 2021 shooting incident in Hollywood. He is accused of firing two or three shots at Terrell Efron, a childhood friend. According to the AP, Efron claims the alleged shots grazed his knuckles. The rapper has pleaded not guilty and he faces up to 24 years in prison if convicted.

The officer Zizzo was one of the first LAPD officers to respond to the scene of the alleged 2021 incident. While on the stand, he testified about what he saw at the scene when he arrived. Okay, so yeah, he was just like a cop, a part of a trial. Like cops do trials all the time. Yeah. It just so happens that this is a high profile trial.

And that the person, you know, on the stand has a wife who's obsessed with housewives. Like, that's the funny part. And people were like, I wonder if Bad Gal Riri still follows Erica on Instagram. She does. I don't even, I feel like she probably wouldn't have put this together until the internet did. It's so random. It's true. I don't think she would have put it together. How could she? Unless someone had told her, like, but who would even...

Who would know such a thing? So yeah, I don't see how this like changes anything of Rihanna's stand. Like he's just doing his job. And do you think that ASAP's lawyer could use this as like some sort of leverage to like for a mistrial? Like it's not a conflict of interest in any way, but like a lawyer maybe could spin it like that. Oh, I think in Hollywood, like the odds that two people in a trial have a connection to fame are not crazy. Yeah, yeah. The judge has seen it before. Yeah.

But I guess then like if anybody on the trial is, I mean on the jury is like a huge fan of Housewives, like they would have to recuse themselves. Perhaps, but they won't know that they can't like consume content about this trial. So I don't think they would know this. Right, right. It's also kind of like low key. No one's talking about ASAP Rocky like being on trial for like kind of egregious crimes. Right, right.

I didn't realize that. It doesn't add up. It doesn't add up. Like, I don't know. It's giving, it's giving he's framed. Like what I know about him from, you know, being Rihanna's, you know, boyfriend, being happy to play second fiddle to her. He's a supportive partner and a doting father and husband partner. Yeah. Right. People who are like supportive partners and like let the women in their lives make way more money than them and like are so proud of them. They just don't go around shooting people. They just don't. They don't shoot their childhood friends. Yeah.

No, they don't. Like it's just, it's incongruous with the man that I've sort of become come to know. Yeah. So I'm on his side. We're now on watch for this trial because also for two reasons now. Right. Of course. It would have been news regardless.

That's the thing about Bravo. It is like connected to everything. It's just, there's always a Bravo connection. Uh, Katy Perry suing the one 800 flowers guy. It turns out to be Cameron Westcott's father-in-law. Like it's just, it's crazy. Yes. But I also think it's because the housewives are notable people or their families are notable. Like that's why they're housewives. Cause they are connected. Yeah.

Oh, speaking of housewives, did you see Boz from Real Housewives of Beverly Hills had a birthday party in New York and Dorit flew from L.A. to be there? Like all the rony women were there. She was like posting and then she was like, my girl Dorit flew in from L.A. Oh, so cute. I was like, oh, these two are like real friends. No, I didn't see that. Why'd she have it in New York? I don't know. Maybe she has like a lot of friends in New York or she just happened to have been in New York. But Dorit flew and they like were posting such cute pictures. Love. Love.

I'm obsessed with their friendship. Apparently when I asked last week if who was on Watch What Happens Live, apparently it was Bose and Dorit was in the audience. And- Oh, they're best friends. Yeah, I don't know if Dorit was in the audience. Wait, but she was saying that she was defending Dorit like at every turn, like I would have loved it. So now I got to go watch. I have them all recorded. Yeah. No, I'm telling you, I had a good feeling about her when she showed up and it's nice to be right finally about something. Oh my God. Speaking of not being right about something, and I'm not saying that we're not right, but like things are taking a turn with Justin Baldoni. Do you find-

Did you see the video of Justin Baldoni on the beach at TMZ? Like, back red. Got, like, a video of him playing with his kids in the ocean. Like, he's on vacation in Hawaii. No. I saw that he was on vacation. Anybody, like, going into the ocean to, like, frolic, it's so unattractive. Like, there's no cool way, especially, like, the really choppy Hawaii waters. Like, there's no attractive, cool way to, like, dive into the ocean. But he, like, does this jump as, like, a wave is, like, pulling out. And he literally just, like, hits the deck, like...

It's on TMZ's Instagram. I highly recommend watching it. It just made me giggle. But yes, I agree. Things are not looking good for Blake Lively and those who defended her. Having said that, I still haven't changed my mind. I'm just like being quiet about it because I'm really not in the mood to deal with it. But-

Yeah, they were just subpoenaed to turn over all their personal text messages, Ryan and Blake. Right. And that, regardless of how it plays out in a legal sense of like what... The crimes. The crimes, it's not going to be good. However you talk to your husband about your coworker that you don't like... Oh my God. It's not going to look good from like a public...

like perception sort of thing. So when I saw that, I was like, this is going to be really bad. I also just feel like. She also knows she texts weird with her Khaleesi. Right, right. No, like it's not going to be good and it's not going to look good for her. And I feel like a lot of people are really turning. And now that the case has turned like criminal, not criminal, but not no longer civil where it's like really they're going to trial. Like I think things are starting to look really bad for her.

I know. I'm like kind of waiting for the other shoe to drop. All this stuff has happened. She hasn't responded at all, like legally or like, so I'm feeling like, does she have this big thing in her arsenal that's going to end it? Or is she just like rolling over and taking it? Also, I thought there was like some sort of law against, I know you can't, you don't have to testify against a spouse legally if you're married, like that is a protected thing. So I'm shocked to find that like you would have to fork over something.

Like under what grounds would I ever have to give my text messages with my husband? You know what I mean? Yeah. It's so, it's kind of egregious. Like even for anyone, like you, I don't know. I'm not understanding the legality of it. I'm sure they're like, if the judge said they have to do it, that there's a reason, but I feel like it's, I've never heard of that. Yeah. No, that's why when I saw that, I was like, well, damn, that's, there's no way those are going to be good. They're screwed. They're screwed. They're screwed. Yeah.

if it doesn't prove anything in a court of law, just like seeing them look good. Reading two people who are like in a marriage of, you know, multiple years, seeing their communication is going to be crazy, but two people of notable fame and wealth and lots of connected friends and just who we've gotten a window into how like Blake speaks and it's weird. Um, I, I,

I'm just thinking about like if anybody ever read my text messages with Ben the other day, I thought he finished the cream cheese. I was standing in the fridge writing probably the nastiest text message I've ever sent anyone. Cause it's like, I know Ben likes cream cheese, but I'm the one who's been stocking up on cream cheese because no, you go through a lot of cream cheese when you're pregnant. Every morning. Yeah. Yes. I have a bagel every single morning. And honestly, when you have a bagel every morning, you go through like a thing of cream cheese, like after like seven days. So,

When Ben eats it and finishes it, like you leave me without cream cheese. Like at least tell me I'll buy more. So I was writing such an, I'm like the fact that you would disrespect me. I was really being so crazy. And thank God right before I sent it, I saw the cream cheese was right in front of me. But like, that's just how, you know, married people talk. No, it's going to be crazy to see how they talk about Justin. Cause think about also how you just talk about other people in your personal messages, how they talk about Justin. That's not going to look good for them. But then also it's going to be a window into how they talk to each other, which is,

Could be bad, could be good. Could be anything. Hopefully they're just like a couple who prefers to like communicate in person more. Like, oh, we'll talk about it when I get home. Yeah. All my texts to my husband are like, truth or please? Prop cord please? Toilet paper please? Bruno needs to go out. No, I'm also with you. Bruno needs to go out.

Stry o'clock, please. I'm like talk to texting when I'm really mad in the back of a room. I'm like, and that fucking fat bitch said to me, like I really, like I sometimes I can't wait like to like unload it onto Ben in person. I have to send it via text message. So I, I truly, I don't think they could have received a worse like order. They should, they would have said, you know what? We'll go to prison for a year. Like this will be so bad. Yeah. I'm seriously wishing them well. That's horrible. Yeah. Same. And I do feel like things are, are really negative. Um,

So we shall see. We shall see. Are you ready for our next story? Number three. Oh, yeah. Gracie Abrams is blasting a fan petition to replace Dora Jarr as her tour opener. If you never heard Dora Jarr before, like, it's okay. I'm with you. Dora Jarr. I was like, Dora Jarr?

What? It was a lot. So anyways, Gracie Abrams has an opener for her tour named Dora Jar. And I guess- Pop off. What? Pop off, Dora. Yes. I guess some of her fans didn't know who Dora Jar was and they weren't excited about that. So they started a petition to replace the opening act for her upcoming tour dates. And Gracie has now responded. Anyways, the petition was on change.org calling for Jar. Her real name- Where real change happens. Yeah.

Her real name is Dora Jarkowski, which sounds like... Is she Jewish? I don't know. But Dora Jark, yeah, calling for her to be replaced. The petition has now been deleted, but it read in part that says, quote, many fans, including myself, and myself being a person named Dexter Morgan. These are all names, you guys.

Dexter Morgan, we are baffled by the recent announcement. We are perplexed as we do not recognize her. And with less than two weeks till the tour, it's virtually impossible to familiar ourselves with her slow-paced songs. For a memorable concert experience, an opening act should set the mood and get the crowd excited. But Dora's slow tempo songs may not achieve this goal. This can't be real.

Jackie, I'm so glad we're talking about this and I'm so glad that this happened because I feel like it really proves a thesis of mine from the last couple of years where like Stanhood is a true mental illness. Yeah. Anybody who would put this together, write it and then publicize it is crazy.

actually a danger to society. I don't know what they thought was going to happen, but I imagine they thought that Gracie would see this, be like, oh my God, my fans don't like it. And she would cancel on this girl just to appease, to appease these crazy people. And the sense of entitlement that that reflects is,

is genuinely that of like a true narcissist sociopath. Like I believe when you get really involved in Stan culture, it can actually affect your mental health. And this is what we're seeing on change.org right now. Like this is so crazy. It's so rude. And first of all, do you know what an opener is? This isn't Coachella where you know everyone. An opener is someone who opens, somebody who's less than, less famous, less successful. So it's their opportunity to get to know. It's like a platform. I don't know what, you obviously don't understand like what a concert is, but-

And seriously, I wish Gracie would honestly have been a little bit more harsher with these people. I know she wants to be nice to her fans, but sometimes fans need to be yelled at. I love that video of Halsey coming out screaming at everybody. Yeah, so she commented on an Instagram post about this and said, just hearing about this absolute ridiculousness, so wildly uncool and bizarre, and also just does not remotely add up. I've only seen everyone's total excitement and I couldn't be luckier or prouder to share a stage with this talented wonder. Stream everything she's ever made, whether or not you're coming to the show. Dora forever and ever.

She said, "Do strong," is what she said. She said, this one's for do. ♪ This one's for do ♪ I liked that she was like, you know,

I, she tackled it head on. She like put them in their place and stood up for her girl, Dora. I would stand up for Dora. It's like these types of like stands are like, that's what you want, right? These are the types of people who, you know, show up, they rush the barricade, they buy tickets. Like that's for every pop artist. Like you want that sort of crazy fan, but then you also have to deal with this. Like this is seriously so crazy. Um,

And so disrespectful and so wrong. And I love that Gracie like stood her ground and I hope she, you know, brings Dora out every show and makes Dora into a star. Yeah. But seriously, people are deeply unwell. Stream Dora, you know?

Yeah, put the do on. Do what you gotta do. I have to thank Dexter Morgan because I had never heard of Dora Jarr. And now, one, I've heard of her. And two, I feel compelled to support her artistry. So thanks, Dexter. You just made her bigger. And I love that they were so proud. It wasn't like anonymous troll behavior. Like they put their names on this. But don't you feel like Dexter Morgan sounds like a fake name? Yeah. Who is Dexter Morgan in this world? Yeah.

Right, right. I'm sure the, what do the Abrams fans call themselves? Like the Abrahamas? The JJs. The JJs. Love that. I'm sorry. Like Gracie Abrams, you're so talented. Like seriously, she is. We're holding space for two truths. She is. Like she's an Epo baby who is talented. She is NBT, next big thing. Like she is it. But I just can't ever separate the two, which is good. Like I'm sure she's so proud. Lost was an amazing show. I think I've heard.

You've never seen it? No. I'm at a so good. Is it? Like worth? Yeah, like it's, yes. Worth coming to this? It gets like a little silly at the end and I don't think the end for a lot of people, myself included, like satiated what we were like dying to find out. It was a kind of an impossible plane to land for lack of a better metaphor, but the show itself, me and Ben talk about it all the time still. Like it was so good. Okay, question. If I were to like do a show, like a whole watch of a show, should I do Lost or Breaking Bad? Brad. Or Breaking Bad? That's a good question.

Honestly, they're both good. There's no wrong way to go. Okay. I think you would like Lost better. Okay. And I think for the JJ lore, I should see Lost. The only problem I really had with Breaking Bad was the fact that there wasn't one character I didn't want to choke. Like I hated them all. I hate that feeling. I don't want to feel that way. I know. Like Skylar, the mom, the dad, Breaking Bad, whatever his name was, hated you. Walter. I guess we were supposed to like, Walter, thank you. I think we were supposed to like Jesse. I feel like I've seen it.

You have, you know, I've seen it in my mind's eye. A thousand percent. Are you ready for our next story? If it's our next story, that's perchance brought to you by ship skis. Is that it? Perchance it is. This is for the skiers, the girls who love to, you know, we have to introduce you to ship skis. Cause of course we love to ski. You guys know we take our annual trip to Utah, but it's definitely a struggle. Um,

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Blue Nile.com. B-L-U-E-N-I-L-E.com. Thank you, Jerdie Nile. You're welcome, Jerdie Nile. Nile Horan. Oh, yeah. Our next story is a bit of shocking news. Bruno Mars' new song with Sexy Red is shocking the internet. So Bruno Mars has just dropped a new song. It's called Fat, Juicy, and Wet. And it's...

It's actually more shocking than you would even think based on the title, which is shocking. Yes, it is. It's his version of WAP. It is on the, him releasing that teaser, like on the heels of us just doing like a whole episode about how he's so amazing for families and you know, my in-laws love him and everybody loves him. He said, hold my beard. And you're going to read the lyrics, of course, yes? I,

I have them up here on Genius Lyrics. Claudia, I'm clutching my pearls. I actually don't know if I could read these words. Like, I'm going to try. Okay, and you let me know if you want me to do it. Like, I've only gotten through the first. It would be better for like entertainment purposes if you did it. I've only gotten through the first verse even. Like, and now I'm looking at the second verse and I'm in shock. But I've gotten myself comfortable with the first. Fat, juicy, and wet. I don't even gangbang pussy so good. Make me throw up.

Make me throw up a set. That good kitty kitty. Good kitty kitty. Make it my pet. Pretty pussy type of pussy. You ain't never going to forget. Fat, juicy, and wet. Wet, wet, wet, wet, wet, wet. Then. I can't. Pussy like weed. Pussy like dope. Pussy like cocaine. Put it up your nose.

Oh, wow. Put it up your nose. Okay. I'm not reading anymore. I haven't even, I listened. It's called fat, juicy and wet. I listened to the first 15 seconds, but we had someone in studio with us and I was seriously so uncomfortable and I turned it off and I was just embarrassed. I can't even read the next line. If you want to take it away, go ahead. Um, Bruno, what have you done? Bruno? What have you done? I need my dog after you.

And even like when I think about his lyrics in his like historically, like they're not clean, but I don't know. They don't come off as like, you know, that juicy wet pussy. Go to the next stanza. You're gonna, I don't know if you'll be able to do it. Okay, which verse? Verse, the sexy red verse. Okay. Bust down middle part. No, no, no, higher. Badass. Oh, sexy red. After, hold on, hold on. P like cocaine. After P like cocaine. Oh, wow. Okay. Oh, no, I can't read that. Right? Right?

Yeah, no, I can't. Oh, wow. Oh, wow. No, Claudia. This is really crazy. This is so crazy. This may look like a nursery rhyme. Yep, it really, really does. At least they had an acronym. It's true. This could have been called FJW. Oh, my God.

This is so un-Bruno-like, but honestly, and I know he references the gambling rumor about him. Do you think that the debts are this steep that he's had to resort to this? It's the only logical explanation that I can offer here today, honestly. However, this won't make him more money. Like only three people can listen to this. This is not going to be a cash cow. But have you ever seen a song of Bruno Mars get this much press?

Actually, I have to be honest. I saw he had a new song. I didn't know that it was this like vulgar. And then you said, let's make it a story. So then I was like, oh, okay, what's Broody up to? And so no, I hadn't seen a lot of press about it, if I'm honest.

Okay, and I knew, I'm obviously not familiar with Sexy Red's line of work, but I did see her going viral last week for sharing an AI image of herself and Martin Luther King. And actually Martin Luther King's granddaughter, Bernice King, actually asked her to delete it, like saying it was very disrespectful because she's like a very, you know,

I saw that as well. And so it's kind of like, I didn't know much about sexy right. And now I know a lot about obviously her FJW and her work with MLK. So she's big on acronyms. She's big on acronyms. I don't, I just, I, I don't know. This is so not like the Bruno that I know. Um, and I, and we're just coming off of Apatow, which is like such a cutesy little, like, you know,

It's a song for everyone. Now I'm worried if I put on Apatow, like on Spotify, like is this going to come on next? Like I listened to that with the kids. You need to block your-

from playing that song. No, it's... And it's true. It's like a lot of... The kids love Appetite. It's like becoming like a baby shark. Yeah, it really is. It's a great song. I don't know what this is about. I'm just going to skip over this one, you know? Yeah, yeah. Just blind spot. Like, it's so important. Like, things don't add up. I just... I can't even bother trying to get down to the bottom of it. Like, I'm just going to ignore this. Yeah. No, no, no. This was really shocking. Go read the last of the lyrics for yourself. Like, it's... And I actually... I feel like I really...

step up to the plate and I read like you did and I feel like you you pretty much gave us the gist no it gets crazier just now it gets crazier it really does are you ready are you ready for our fifth and final story that is such interesting news to you and I I keep singing the same Hannah Montana transition what are other ones what are you singing oh yeah but also transitions are what you make them so let's make them rock

100%. Our fifth and final story that you and I are going to find so interesting and everyone else might turn off is that Spotify has now put out their inaugural podcaster milestone awards.

So Spotify is giving out awards for podcasting streaming numbers, just like how the YouTube like does like, oh, when you hit 100 million views or 100. You get a plaque. You get a plaque. So Joe Rogan and Crime Junkie have both topped the 500 million all time streams on Spotify. Spotify has given out awards just on Spotify. Yeah. So they have the gold, which is 500 million streams. Silver is 250 million streams and bronze is 100 million streams.

I would love to know what we have because we hit like 100 million streams a couple of years ago, but that was across all platforms. So not on Spotify. We are not on this list. I think we would have like, you know,

been awarded something if we were. Yeah, we would know. We would know. I'm just trying to guess like how far are we from bronze? Yeah, but it's also interesting to see who has hit these numbers on Spotify. Of course, shows that are exclusive to Spotify are going to have a better chance. But Joe Rogan and Crime Junkie are the only two to have hit 500 million all-time downloads, which makes sense.

That's cool. Silver podcast. So 250 million plus. There's a bunch of them and actually probably not what you would expect. Dateline NBC. Go off Dateline. I would expect that. They're always topping charts. My Favorite Murder. Classic. Barstool's Pardon My Take. Classic. The male equivalent of the toast. Right. Stuff You Should Know. I've heard of that one. I think it's called Shit You Should Know. No? Here it says Stuff You Should Know. Okay. Okay. And then That's All For Silver.

So it's a short list. And then bronze, 100 million plus streams are Diary of a CEO. Classic. Rotten Mango. Never heard of it. That's insane. Small Town Murder. Okay. And Views with David Dobrik and Jason Nash. And that's it. Views? Views. Is that of all time? Because that show has been off the air for five years. It must be of all time, which is also interesting. They're grandfathers. There was a time where that show...

at the peak of like right before the whole scandal when David like would release a vlog and like the world shifted that I imagine they probably crushed it on the podcast. And that's why Jason Nash, who was like kind of left unemployed after David Dobrik decided to take some time off. That's why he's like always begging David to bring it back. And they did just decide to bring it back. Like, did you see David Dobrik dropped a new vlog? No, I didn't see David Dobrik dropped a new vlog. I did actually. And I watched it. Um, and I, I didn't hit the same, obviously, um,

It was also like different shtick. Like they, it was like a year long project that they, whatever, honestly. And it was still 420? No, exactly. I'm not going to bother explaining it to you. Like it was just, it was just a vlog, but I think he's actively coming back to vlogging and now the podcast. So I do wonder if the podcast will be as successful. It was so big at the time. Yeah.

Yeah. Very interesting group of podcasts. I wouldn't have. Right. Kind of some sleeper podcasts. At this point, there are so many Spotify exclusive podcasts. Wait, what about Smartless? What about Armchair Expert? Aren't they Spotify exclusive? See, Smartless is huge, but they weren't Spotify exclusive. But still, I would have assumed they would have made it. Right, because they're so big, apparently. But to be Armchair Expert...

no and by the way smart list doesn't do video so they really don't split up their audience that much it's usually just like apple or spotify so that's kind of like interesting to know and then armchair expert being spotify exclusive like people were forced to listen to it on spotify that's really shocking okay flop and same archetypes i'm sure you're shocked by that oh sure um josh and yeah

Yes, I do find this interesting, although I don't know if other people do. I don't know if other people do, but new goal, new manifestation. Next year's podcast. Next year's PMA. I'm actually going to reach out to our Spotify rep who I spoke to last week. She was like asking because they were like not uploading our episodes. How far off we are. Yeah, let's find out. Goals. Hashtag goals. I'm not going to share it. I'm not going to share if it's not good. No, no. We wouldn't share externally, just internally. And then we would...

And I have all these empty walls to hang my accolades on my new studio. We need our PMAs. Let's say a little prayer that this episode worked. Say a little prayer for you.

We're going to wrap up so we can try and get this episode uploaded. Thank you guys so much for listening to the Just a Million Morning Show. We deliver the fastest stories you need to every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching this on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found. Everywhere podcasts can be found. Public radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places where we send podcasts, find us on Twitter, see the fastest review, have a beautiful Sunday, and we can lay down where we are. Love ya. Bye. Let's try for a heart. I'm doing it like you. You do something and I'm going to copy you.

I don't know why we can't like actually try. Move over, move over. Which way? Cause towards the armrest. Like you see our armrest is still in frame. You see like hover above the edge of the armrest more. Oh yeah. Wow. Okay. Okay.