It's A \_\_\_\_\_\_! : Friday, December 13th, 2024
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Good morning, millennials. Welcome back to the toast and happy, happy Friday, if there ever was a Friday.

If there ever was a Friday that felt like a Friday, it is this Friday because this is our last regular episode of The Toast. There will be toast on Patreon. So next week, go to patreon.com slash the toast. However, like this is our last regular workday of the year for us, for us, and I, and it's very, very exciting. It is. And we are coming from a place of privilege, making our own schedules. Most people's last day of work is like next Friday. No, not us. We so...

We celebrate this time of year. We do celebrate. But also, it's very exciting because there's so much to discuss today. Like, I don't know if the cards can handle this, but I'm thinking a two-hour episode. This is going to be an extremely long episode. Let's go through everything that needs discussing. Okay. First of all, like, most important thing of the day, my gender reveal. 100%. And it's not just like, oh, it's a blank. And I'll tell you guys. What went down last night on social media needs to be discussed. Like, it was...

The craziest time of my life, okay? Okay, I can't wait to hear about it. Two, I actually have a list. I need to talk about Shannon Ford, and then I heard you also need to talk about Shannon Ford. I do need to talk about Shannon Ford. But don't infringe on my Shannon Ford moment, because mine's actually huge, okay? Okay. I think mine's big too, but... Three, my husband...

Did the craziest thing. He did the craziest thing and I'm going to tell you about it. Okay. Okay. And then the fourth thing that I did was watch Yellowstone. Now I'm not going to give a proper recap, but I do need to talk about a couple of things. Nothing happened. Like seriously, I couldn't even recap it if I wanted to.

Okay. And then the fifth thing that will likely happen are the stories. And for a Friday, they are popping off my friends. Yeah. Popping off my friends. And then the sixth thing is my Southern Charm recap because I watched an episode of Southern Charm last night. I watched Craig on Watch What Happens Live. And then I listened to Madison LaCroix on Skinny Confidential podcast this morning because

- Because I'm obsessed with Southern Charm. - Yeah, yeah. - I think I need to go to BravoCon and go to a Southern Charm panel. There's never been a bigger fan of the show. - But then you should put it out there. You should host a Southern Charm panel one year. I did it one year. You should do it.

I should host a Southern charm paddle. No one else has seen every single episode except for the back half of last season. But what was so nice is that Michael and Lauren weirdly also are obsessed with Southern charm. Like they're talking about, they miss Thomas. Like they're talking about the funniest things from the herstory of the show. So I have my Southern charm recap. It's also like tied in spritz was fantastic.

prevalent on the show last night. Like real ones could see it in the background of two scenes, Craig's opening scene and then the scene that he filmed with Austin in the hot tub. And fun fact that I learned after the fact was that our husbands were with them that day. The reason why there was all that spritz and fresh fruit in the background is because they were doing a photo shoot at Craig's house. So was Ben not in it? Because I know he got mic'd up. He was like really excited. Our husbands were not in the show at all, but

but just knowing that a few hours prior and like they were at the house when Austin did come over. So knowing that they were there for that, like just made me feel cool. But also I actually don't want to be involved in the show. Like this is art for me. Like I don't want to be in it. The seventh thing. And the good news.

- The thing is, is that I'm not in it. - Actually, I don't agree. Like it's really hard to not make everything about yourself when literally everything's about us, Jackie. It's insane. - No, there's boxes in the background like with our name on it, yeah. - The seventh thing we have to do is our final Queenie and Weenie of the week. - Right, our final. - It's just, it's actually overwhelming how much we have to do.

I have a question for you. Unless you feel like really attached to your Queenie and Weenie this week, would you want to make it Queenie and Weenie of the year? So I was actually thinking of suggesting that to you last night. Actually, I woke up from 345 to 545 a.m. and I thought of everything under the sun. And one of them was like, maybe tomorrow's Queenie and Weenie should be more of an annual. It's so hard to, and it's actually like, I think calling someone a Weenie of the year, like...

It's the antithesis of weenie of the week. It's a seven day title. You can come back from it, but you were the weenie of a whole year. I feel like someone could be a weenie of the year, like, like P Diddy. Okay. But then that also is the antithesis of weenie of the week because it's not like the weenie of this week is Jay-Z. Jay-Z. But the title isn't criminal of the week. Like it's actually supposed to be fun and lighthearted. Okay. I hear you.

- Maybe we do both. Like, let's see where the cards are. Let's see where the episode is. Let's see if we feel inspired. 'Cause I know my Queenie of the year. Like that, it came through loud and clear. - I know my Queenie of the year as well. I was gonna say the Queenie that I chose is actually like could be the year.

Okay, let's save it for that. Okay, okay. So let's talk about what went down on social media last night. Jackie, a couple of days ago, was, I don't know, was it on the podcast? Yes, I was speaking for the people. She was berating me endlessly about doing my gender reveal. I had planned to do it in January because, you know, like you only get pregnant for the first time once and I'm just like trying to milk it. And Jackie was like, listen, at a certain point, like the public stops caring. And that's really all I needed to hear. That's like my worst fear.

People stop caring about me and what's going on in my life. So I very quickly got that vlog together. I had had all the footage and I just like have been sitting on it. I wasn't sure when I was going to release it. But with the holidays coming up and we were just now this week spending so much time scheduling the Patreon content for next week that I was like, you know what? I have a slate for it.

And it has to be today. Yeah, because we also want to not drop it next week because we want to talk about it on this show. Yes, and for those who saw the Patreon and know the gender, thank you for being Patreon members. And for those who don't, like I will share it any minute now. But I... We're going to crack it out a little bit longer. Of course, of course, of course. But there were so many things that went down. So I... Okay, I'll say it first. Ready? Just because I don't want to mess up any pronouns. I am having... A... G... B... G... B... A... B... G... B...

- I am having a, I am having, this is the last thing I have to like give to everyone, you know? Like, I'm having- - There'll be more things, like the name, you know, knock wood. Like, so it's not the last. - I'm having a girl. Psych! I'm having a boy. Or is it a boy? Or a girl? I'm kidding. It's a boy. - It's a boy, period. - Period. - Period. Actually no period, it's a boy. - No period for this one. - Right.

- Yes, and I had been vlogging like the whole experience, like the gender reveal that we did. And if you watch the video, like you know, it was seriously the most fucked up backwards gender reveal. Like we actually didn't reveal the gender at a certain point. Like we just kind of had to guess. It went down like a little chaotically, but in the most. - To be fair, like if you and Ben just like sat in front of a cake and like looked at the interior and it was like so clearly red or pink or blue, like that's so not you and Ben. - Who are we, Molly Mae? Like please.

It had to be special. It could only be this way. It had to be bad, you know? It had to be comedic. Now, I don't think this is a particularly competitive category, but everybody's saying it's the funniest gender reveal they've ever seen. But gender reveals aren't supposed to be funny. Typically, people aren't going for funny. Well, that's just you and Ben. People aren't me. And then you guys like furiously biting into cake pops thinking there was like more clues is my favorite part.

But then also at the end when you tell Margo and you did what you just did right now, and Margo's like, and then you tell her, and then you tell her boy. And she's like, boys. And you're like, it's a girl. I'm seriously the most fucking annoying bitch on the planet. I don't know why people listen to this podcast. I know that was seriously the fight. I felt bad for Margo. I did too. And she was so excited too. She was like dying to know. And I wouldn't tell her now.

Oh my God, vlog, everyone's lauding it as the most like amazing piece of artwork since Oppenheimer, like they're obsessed. And you know, it didn't occur to me, somebody, I think you were like, by the way, maybe block the word boy in your comments so that people just don't like automatically spoil it without going to the Patreon for Patreon members and for non-Patreon members. I was always gonna share, I'm not gonna keep it secret for nine months. Like I just wanted-

if they just see the word boy in the comments, then when they're watching your video, like all the suspense is gone. Like you want, it's Oppenheimer, like you said, like you want it to be suspenseful. And if you know the whole time, like we're all trying to find out together. Yeah, and so- It's a major spoiler alert. I remember like having seen other people's gender reveals, like with like big female communities as like their followers and nobody spoiled it in the comments. It's like a shit thing to do. I thought there was like an unwritten rule amongst human beings like that we didn't do that. So somebody was like, block the word boy. I'm like, that's so crazy, no.

Within two seconds, I'm out here on TikTok blocking the word boy. Boy with two Ys, boy with three Ys. And the blue heart emoji. Just because I didn't want it to be automatically spoiled. It got nefarious because people like who were obsessed with spoiling it. Like I did not get off my phone. I would love to check my screen time at like 530 last night for three hours. I was deleting and blocking. First of all, there's some people were just like, oh my God, it's a boy. I'm so happy for you. You didn't get blocked. Like I love you, but I'm deleting your comment, but I love you.

Some people were responding to every single comment. It's a boy. It's a boy. Don't watch it. Don't watch it. Like trying to hurt me. Right. Take away from your cinematic achievement. Yeah. And just take away from the hype. Like, I'm not forcing people to go to Patreon. I'm going to share the gender literally tomorrow. But like, can we just have fun for five fucking minutes? Okay. So then they got around my hidden words because I'm on TikTok and Instagram. I'm blocking different emojis. Then they go male. M-A-L-E. Are you fucking bitches? I'm so onto you. Blocked.

block the word male, block the word male. And then I could see people trying to use the word male in like the blocked comments. I'm like, oh, you're a nefarious troll. It was the most productive. I must've blocked a thousand people last night and they need to be blocked. I never blocked people. 1,000 disgusting woman haters. Oh, I love that. So I blocked male. I'm strolling. You know, things are getting quiet. Every time I block a new big word, it gets quiet until they all collectively come up with another one. It's whack-a-mole. Male, M-A-I-L. Easy, blocked.

Again, the blueberry emoji. And I should have blocked that one first, given the theme of the gender reveal. Blocked. I was just blocking people, bopping people, places, and things on so many platforms. I never had so much fun in my whole fucking life. Like, I appreciate... Okay, so I appreciate people literally being obsessed with me. Like, this was my dream. Then...

I actually got a lot of shit. I don't know if you know this. Wow, baby's not even born yet and you're monetizing your gender. A lot of woman hating, business woman hating. And at first I was like, should I feel embarrassed by this? Am I exploiting my kids? Because we're always talking about family channels and shit like that. And I'm like,

- No, like would you yell at a woman going to work to provide for her child? Like that's literally what I'm doing. Like monetizing your baby's gender reveal could never be me. Providing for my family could never be you. Yeah, like I'm so like, and it's not like I'm gatekeeping it until the due date. Like it's literally out there, it's a boy. Like I just wanted us all to have fun last night. Like people were so, and then also people would be like, people are supposed to pay for this. Who are you, a celebrity? Like literally, yeah, I do so many blocked words. I have, I'm so famous. Like everybody's fucking obsessed with me.

- Oh my Jackie. - Every personal announcement in our life has always been on the Patreon. The Patreon is our personal channel. So if you did the gender reveal not on Patreon just because you're not monetizing the gender, it's actually the antithesis of what you do. - Yeah and honestly with so many people hating on me last night, it further proves the point and the need for Patreon because Patreon is really a safe space. It's our true fans and listeners. We have so many haters. Literally my joy is the worst thing to ever happen to them. So that must be so sad 'cause I'm so joyous all the fucking time.

But like it really proved the need for like this safe community of people. So I don't give a fuck. I wish somebody could have. And I was home alone. And I was like literally, I had our social media manager on and I'm like sending comments that need to be deleted. Like I was seriously being like one of those kids in like a kid spy movie where I'm in the back of a van. You're in. You're out. Check out me being so fucking crazy. Top five, the most fun I've ever had in my life.

Wow. I'm so glad that you had that. I'm so glad that also the productivity of getting rid of those people on your beaches. Yes, I felt so good. Here to have fun. I don't know when it was when I realized it's like, I don't have to tolerate people that don't like me on

on my Instagram. This is my fucking Instagram. This is not a democracy. This is my Instagram. - It's a dictatorship bitch. - And like I can, when people are like they're deleting comments, which by the way, I don't even, I get accused of that all the time and I don't even do it. But like- - We get accused of deleting comments when we literally have never until last night. - Or like on our YouTube, we get accused of deleting comments. Like I'm not even logged into, like when I look at YouTube comments,

I'm logged into my personal account. So like I couldn't delete the ones I don't like if I wanted to. It would take me so much admin. I'd have to ask you for the password. You have to send me the code that you- - Oh my God, and Jackie recently changed all of our passwords. Like, so it's Fort Knox. I don't know the password. - And then we have like two factor authentication, whose phone or email does it go to? Listen, just to say, I'm not deleting comments. - Just call me fat, like it is what it is. - But like if I were to, yeah, I did that. - Yeah, there's no shame in the game.

No, I love it. There's so much power in it. Were you silent or silenced? Silenced. Yeah. So I'm so glad you had fun last night. I got to watch your vlog. I hadn't seen the whole thing. I obviously like know my part. Claudia also recorded like sharing with us.

You had sent me when you and Ben saw, like those sisters reactions and the sisters reactions. So I didn't get to see like the lead up and like all the fun stuff that happened. And it was really fun to watch as your sister. And I feel like we haven't even discussed like what it means that you're having a boy. - Okay, and I talk about this on the Patreon vlog where I announced my pregnancy, but also the gender reveal, like my journey with gender. 'Cause when I got found out I was pregnant and even before I got pregnant, like I always wanted a boy first.

It was just a preference of mine. Like, I don't feel like I have to explain. It's just preference, right? Everyone has, like, their preferences at the outset. And then when I actually got pregnant, I felt like I couldn't say that, obviously, out loud. But I still did. But Ben was like, Ben really didn't like what I would say, any sort of preference. He felt like it was, like, a Kanai Nahara, like, stop. I agree with him. I agree with him, too. But, like, the heart wants what, like, preferences are preferences. I can't choose my own preferences. If I could, like, I would choose either. And...

It was very clear from like day one that everybody thought like I was having a girl. Like it was just, it was kind of not even a question. Yeah. And I was trying not to be insulted by that because obviously like you lose your beauty and stuff. I guess everybody calling me ugly, but whatever. Um,

And when it came time to find out the gender, the weeks leading up, like I really tried to prepare myself for it being a girl. And like, and I really meant what I said that like going to the heiress tour was like enormously helpful. And a couple of things like made me realize, 'cause I was thinking about like how close we all are with our mom. And like, you can't be like a 30 year old man so close with your mom. It's like, get a job. - 'Cause then the wife's writing into dear toasters. - Yeah, no, and it's just like, it's not Congress with what should be done, you know?

And so like, I have to think of myself in this situation. Like if my son grows up and gets married, I'll never see him again. If my daughter grows up and gets married, I'm still the center of her universe. - Yeah, and when she has a baby, like being the grandma on the mom's side. - Huge. - You're much more involved because it's the mother's journey. It's just very different. So yeah, there's so much merit in the distant future. - In being a girl mom. - Yeah. - And then of course, being able to use the word daughters, like that was, like for me, I was like, you know what? Actually, I want a girl. And then Dr. Fox,

The results are in and I was so happy. Like, sorry, I was. And I really, I do think I would have been happy regardless because if you watch the vlog, I actually thought it was a girl first. My first sort of gut, when I see the visual of the cake, I'm like, oh, it's a girl. And-

I got to experience what I would have felt for one moment. And I was like, oh, cool. Like it was all good. Yeah. There's so much to get. You just have to know what it is. And then like you go down that path and there's so much to get excited about on each path. Yeah. It's just like hard when you, and you shouldn't do this, but it's so hard not to, to like, you just like envision like different things, you know? Yeah. Like a bris. Yeah. A bris is fun. Oh my God. And-

- Except also like having to get snatched seven days after you give birth. - Actually, I wouldn't say a bris is fun. - Yeah, perhaps. No, but it's nice that everybody like gets it. Like there's an event. - Yeah, of course. But like, I think modern Jewish women, like we hate it. - Yeah, no. - It's hard on the mother.

Very, maybe not. Maybe that's not a con, but. But you did like two very private brises. Yeah, my second one was kind of bussing, wouldn't you say? Okay, there was like 20 people there. I know, but like my first one was just immediate family. I didn't even invite my best, best friends in this world. It was COVID. Yeah, but also I just like,

I didn't, yeah, I guess you could say it was COVID, but like, I just felt like I just wanted super small, like even Dana wasn't there. - Yeah. - And then my second one, like I had my swirlies there. - 30 people. - My swirlies were there. - Yeah, most of the places I go to are like a fucking free for all, like 600 people and that's totally what Ben wants. So like, just prepare yourself. - Okay. - Like I'm just not in the mood to argue.

So yeah, like it's all out and I actually cannot believe I did not spoil pronoun or anything on the podcast. Like that was my, that's also another reason why I couldn't wait till January. It was just a matter of time. Yeah. Or the good guys. Oh, the good guys. You know, Ben would like accidentally say it and not even hear it. So it wouldn't get cut. You're having a good guy. Hopefully not. No, I'm kidding. Yeah, I'm having a good guy. I'm having his...

And I went for a big doctor's appointment yesterday, which like, again, I hadn't been to the doctor in a couple of weeks. So I'm like, yeah, will they, will they? It's so like- How's Dr. Fox? Fab, just absolutely fab. Only spoke to him briefly because the scan was done by a tech and I want to talk to the techs in America. My tech was actually amazing. Like I feel like in some appointments, like they dig that thing in your belly so hard. She was so soft. Like, and you have to have a full bladder. So when they're digging so hard, it's like, could you chill the fuck out? She was so, she had such a great touch.

She was very quiet. Now I'm not sure what the, what they teach you in school, like bedside manner wise, because if there is something wrong, like you don't want to alert, that's the doctor's job to like give the information. So I was like asking, like she was so quiet and she was also busy doing a lot. So like, I didn't want to bother her, but I'm like, are we looking? And it was a long scan. It's like, it was like 40 minutes. So I'm like,

What do you see? What do you see? What do you know? What's going on? And she was like, just taking pictures. Like she was not giving me an inch as to whether like it was devastating news or overwhelmingly positive. Then she gives all the imaging and all the reports to Dr. Fox and we go into Dr. Fox's office and he said, it's all good. Like we didn't even go over results. He was like, that's good. But of course we had to spend a good 15 minutes rewrapping Ben's finger. I saw. Which brings me to the story I wanted to tell about the craziest thing my husband did.

So what did you want to say to the text of America? Oh, oh, oh, thank you. I forgot. Tell us. I know, but it's like not their job. And when they do reveal too much, what if it's good? What if they think that it's good?

And then the doctor sees something else. If they're telling you that it's wrong, you're sitting there for 40 minutes. I mean, that was like, we were saying yesterday about my tech who was crying. Yeah. Jackie had a tech who was like doing the scan and not only did she say stuff, she was crying. She started crying because before she did that scan, I think it might've been the same scan that you just had. She measured my cervix. She went in and she saw it was really short and she told me I had a short cervix, but I didn't know what that meant. Right. And she was like, the doctor will explain to you. And then we had the 40 minute scan. And as she's doing all these images and stuff, she is crying. Yeah.

Seriously, she should be in jail. For real. It's the craziest thing. And by the way, to be clear, that was not Dr. Fox's tag. No, no, no, no, no. That was a blur. And like, yeah, now in hindsight, I know why she was crying. And it was a sad situation. But we need a little bit of professionalism. I also took a look at my cervix yesterday because of your cursed one that potentially could be, you know, hereditary. Genetic, even though I don't think it is. 30 centimeters, looking good.

- We love to hear it. - We love to hear it. So to the checks of America, I say, let us in. - Like do less and do more. - Or like seriously, they should be in a different room. Like I wish she was behind a curtain or something. Do you know what I mean?

I was right next to her. Her hand is like on my belly. We were doing transvaginal. And she won't even look at me. Do you know what I mean? Yeah, you have to learn to not read them whatsoever. Because you're making yourself. I know that. But Ben was making me crazy. And Ben did something. He was trying to lighten up. This is not the crazy thing that he did. It just reminded me. Actually, I'm not going to say it. Never mind.

- Okay, but what's the crazy thing he did? - So he got his finger re-bandaged by Dr. Fox. Dr. Fox took a look at it. He wasn't worried, but he said, "Pick up like an antibiotic ointment on your way home from doing like a Bacitracin or something." So I guess Ben ordered on GoPuff, his antibiotic appointment. Appointment? - Ointment. - Ointment. - We're going to bed last night.

And he was rewrapping his bandage and he gets back in bed. And by the way, did you get that antibiotic appointment? Why do I keep saying that? Antibiotic appointment that Dr. Fox told you to get? He's like, yeah, I got Neosporin and Preparation H. What was that second one? It's like Preparation H. Have you heard of it? I was like, yeah, have you? He's like, no, I just searched like antibiotic appointments and that's what came up. It says it's an antibiotic ointment. And I was like, and you don't know what it's for? He was like, no, I have no idea. I'm like, how do you move through this planet?

Like not knowing stuff like that. Like everybody knows. I've never had a hemorrhoid and I know what it is. There are commercials for it. Like everybody knows what preparation H is. H is for hemorrhoid. H is for hemorrhoid. That's good enough for me. I could not believe this grown ass man was walking around like not knowing that preparation H was like a tushy cream.

Thankfully he had went for the Neosporin. So we hadn't put it on the cut yet, but it's like in my house. Like, well, you know what? It's a good thing to have as a pregnant lady. You never know when those hemorrhoids are going to hit. It's just a good thing to have in the house. So true. But like, can you believe, like, how do you not know that? I get, I don't know. I feel like of all the crazy things that he might not know. I remember I told you what my husband didn't know the other day. I'm not even repeating it. Yeah. Yeah. That's crazier. Yeah.

So take solace. - Now I think to number three.

My Shannon Ford news. Why don't you share yours first? I feel like I've been talking a lot. Because mine is smaller. No, just that I have been consulting with Shannon all day yesterday and the day before because she has embarked on her sourdough journey. And yesterday, like we were sending videos, voice notes, and I was also making a loaf yesterday. So we were, I was just like showing her what it should look like. And all's to say, she sent me a video this morning. She has risen and Shannon had made a beautiful pargy, pargy loaf. That's kind of big on her first try. Yeah.

- Yeah, no, I know. She crushed it. I'm very excited for her. - Well, she's kind of crushing all facets of life because in addition to being a sourdough queen, she's also a toaster. She listens to the show, I think like every day. And without even asking or telling me, she was listening to the Mark Schonwetter Holocaust Education Foundation board meeting extravaganza episode of two days ago.

And Shannon has pledged $10,000 to the donation matching. So we're doing a fundraiser at the end of this month. The Toast has pledged 10,000 and now Shannon has pledged. So once we raise $20,000 from the community, it will be matched by us and Shannon's 20K and we will be, have raised, hopefully,

$40,000. And Shannon didn't even tell me. She just like literally was writing a check. She did not ask to be praised, but like she, I was seriously floored. I couldn't believe it. Like she's not Jewish. I know she like totally understands the struggle and she like respects. She's such an ally. Like we don't deserve Shannon. It's so amazing. I think, I think some form of Holocaust education in her childhood really impacted her. I think so too. And I think she's actually like, it's so full circle that person that now that, that she's,

to Mark Schoenwetter because whatever education she had like seriously impacted her. And I just, I need to kiss that person on the mouth, but also it just makes the work that the Mark Schoenwetter Foundation does even more important because like other people should have that education. - 1000%, I was so touched. I was speechless. You know me, I always have something to say. I didn't even know what to say. So generous. That's my queen right there. - No, she's such a queen. They don't make them like Shannon Ford. - They don't, they don't. Trust your faves.

That's my girl. And the fact that she didn't even tell you. Yeah. And that's like also what they say is like the highest form of charity is like, you know, doing it anonymously. So like our five grand that we pledged, like we're such a piece of shit. Yes, so obnoxious. We're such a piece. If we didn't do that, then maybe we wouldn't inspire others. So it was an inspirational, you know. Yeah, it was very motivational to others.

Anyway, she's just such a queen. - She's such a queen and she deserves all the praise and that's not why she did it. But everybody needs to know like that's who you're following. Like that's a queen right there. - Yeah, yeah. And you should know when the people that you're following are like wonderful. - Are kings and queens, are royals. - Yeah. - Now the next thing I wanted to talk about was Yellowstone. Should I save it for your Southern charm recap? - Yeah, I think so. Because I think we could get into the stories 'cause I think there's a lot of stories that people are tuning in today for. - Oh really? Like seriously, besides my gender reveal what's going on in the world?

James Kennedy. - Oh yeah. Okay, anybody else when that screenshot went around, I thought he died. - Claudia? Claudia? - Did you also? - Yes. - I don't know if it was like the picture TMZ used. It was giving in memoriam. - No, the fact that whenever someone sends me a screenshot from TMZ like that, and no one ever does. - Dead. - There's a death.

Yeah, so obviously I wasn't thrilled. No, I literally gasped and then it got lower, but still that initial gasp is why I have that shock. So I obviously wasn't thrilled with the domestic violence, but I'm glad he's not dead. I'm glad he's alive. I completely agree. No. Further, and you know what? Maybe this will knock him down a few pegs and he will DJ at the Science Museum. Oh, that's just what his career needed. Without further ado, here are the Fast Five stories that you need to know.

Fast Five Stories that you need to know are brought to you by State Farm. What a pargy way to end the year with really one of our most loyal sponsors who we are so grateful to, by the way. Thank you, State Farm, for sticking by us and always being there for us. That's kind of your thing, right? Like a good neighbor, you are there. And we love that.

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Thank you, turdy earth. Yad, welcome. So our first story, the aforementioned arrest of James Kennedy. He has been arrested for domestic violence. Vanderpump Rules star James Kennedy is in trouble with the law. TMZ learned the Bravo personality was arrested for misdemeanor domestic violence. Mr. Meaner? Mr. Meaner. Mr. and Mrs. Meaner. That's like Missy Elliott, right? Misdemeanor.

Oh my God, I never put that together. Well, law enforcement sources told TMZ that Burbank police were dispatched to a home in the area Tuesday night after receiving a call about an argument between him and a woman. They're told a witness saw James and the woman arguing with James allegedly grabbing her at one point, though were told officers did not see any visible injuries on her. It's worth noting that James and his girlfriend, Allie Luber, appeared to attend a holiday party at Kathy's Hilton's home the night of the arrest. I'm sure she's thrilled to be associated with this. Just...

Peachy for Kathy. After investigating the situation, police say they determined it was a domestic incident leading to the DJ being arrested for misdemeanor domestic violence. He was released after posting $20,000 bail. I mean, we have to assume he's drinking, right? Yeah, that's a big question here. I'd actually not assume, but I feel like things don't reach this level yet.

For him when he's not drinking. I mean, because you also have to think about, like, how badly you have to be fighting in a house. For a neighbor, yeah. Not even in an apartment complex, a house. Like, for your neighbors to hear you. Like, that's a really fucking crazy fight. And then call the police because it's, like, a scary situation. So worrisome. Yeah. And Allie had attended an event, like, later that day or the day after. Well, actually, that would be today. So it was, like, later that night. Seemingly, you know...

All good. Yeah. But this is not all good. Like, this is not a good situation. Even if, you know, it turned out to be just like a loud fight. Like, that's not healthy. Yeah. And this is like a situation where normally, like in a year from now, we would get a little bit of clarity because of the show. But there is no show. Right. So who knows when and if we'll ever know anything unless Allie shares something.

But I don't know if they're breaking up or... I don't know why I feel like they're not. I don't feel like they are either. Also, then Kristen Doughty chimed in. I saw that too. Finally. She fucking hates him. And I don't know if she's ever really spoken very directly about what exactly went down between them. She's alluded to a bunch of different things and she will take any opportunity. She fucking hates him. But I would love to know what really... She had alluded to different forms of abuse and domestic violence sort of...

not shocking her yeah I don't know maybe we'll hear more from her maybe we'll hear from him I do think we'll hear from him he has a career in the public eye you don't just like get arrested and then not address it and move on so I think he'll probably put out a statement maybe he'll do some podcasting oh my god I saw the craziest podcast clip because James Kennedy reminds me a lot of weirdly Harry Jowsey they just like have the same accent like the same vibe um

And Harry Chowsey was talking on his podcast. I feel like he doesn't really get serious, but he was talking about he's from New Zealand and it's legal there to do assisted suicide if you have a terminal illness. And his dad, who was terminally ill, decided to do it. And he was like talking about it. I was like actually crying watching this podcast clip. That's really sad. I know. And then it got me thinking about

assisted suicide he was saying it's really hard to get approved like you need to have a ton of doctors paperwork a million things to prove that like you only have limited time left on this earth because it can't be it can't be a you know you it can't be abused like you can't just decide that you don't want to live for other reasons like it has to be like medical which I kind of I feel like it's a really hot button issue but I kind of agree like I I know we don't have it here but like if you're terminally ill like you should be able to go out on your own do you agree yeah

I don't know enough about it to say. Did you see those suicide pods? I forget what country it was. In the middle of a jungle, you can put yourself in this pod and it peacefully kills you. Wow. Yeah, it looked like the things they laid in in that movie with Jennifer Lawrence. Yes. How did you know that's what I was talking about? Because we haven't seen that many sci-fi movies. I haven't even seen it. How about that? Oh, that's funny. I saw it.

Switzerland. Yeah, it looks like a spaceship. Like, I don't know if you could say. And then what does it do to you? Just, like, takes all the... I don't know. Like, I don't know if it, like, gases you or, like, takes all the oxygen out. Yeah, I think it's a very nuanced conversation. Well, yeah, I feel like this, you can't just, like, pop in. I don't think that should, like, be...

But the way Harry Jowsey was talking about it, he didn't seem resentful at all. I think overall he was happy that his dad got to go out on his own terms and not be in pain. He had a diagnosis that was just like you weren't coming back from. It was so interesting, not me expecting, so unexpectedly having these kind of deep and complex conversations from Harry Jowsey. Harry Jowsey is very layered. Harry Jowsey is very layered. And I think a lot of people, myself included, we forget how we know Harry Jowsey, right? Yeah. Yeah.

There was a time where Too Hot to Handle was on its way to being a Love is Blind, but they took it too far and it got weird. No, it couldn't be. It could only be a one season wonder, even though they did other seasons because people knew. They were shocked when they found out the format. They did not know what kind of show they were showing up for. No, but it's actually really crazy how that really launched the careers of two very successful celebrities, Francesca Brago and Harry Jowsey. And also, as a...

male reality star. It is so hard to have longevity. Michael Bostic was just saying this about Southern charm and he's so right. Like it's harder to make a brand in a business. Like girls, you just like get on, you know, do your make. Sell hair. Yeah. Social media is a woman's game. It's a woman's world. It's harder for men to have longevity. So I actually, Harry Jowsey is very impressive. I completely agree. And that's a really good point. Yeah.

Our next story, a little more legal news because Morgan Wallen has pleaded guilty and been sentenced to seven days incarceration at DUI Education Center for drunkenly throwing a chair off a roof in Nashville.

I mean, it's hard to plead anything other than guilty when there's literally a video of you doing it. Yeah, Morgan Wallen will spend seven days at a DUI education center months after he was arrested for throwing a chair from the roof of a Nashville bar. A judge in Nashville sentenced him to one week of incarceration, which will be served at the DUI education center, as well as two years probation, one for each of his misdemeanor charges for reckless endangerment, and he also must pay a $350 fine. Well...

And also it's worth noting, uh, his attorney said that Mr. Wallen has cooperated fully with authorities throughout these last eight months, directly communicating and apologizing to all involved. Mr. Wallen remains committed to making a positive impact through his music and foundation. Just stop throwing chairs. Okay. Um, I think this is appropriate. Like, sorry. I think people are probably like, it's crazy. He's going, he's not going to jail first of all, but he is going to have to like be away for a whole week. He'll survive. Um,

And then he's also on parole for two years, which means you have to behave. Like, if you violate your parole in any way, like, you would go to jail for five times longer than you would have if you had committed the crime not on parole. Like, it's actually very serious. Now that I just read that book, The Many Lives of Mama Love, like, parole is not to be fucked with. Like, so, Sandra Bullock, harsher punishments for parole violators. Comes to mind here. She does. Yeah. I think this feels like...

- You do the crime, you do the time. - Yeah, I was just having this conversation 'cause I've been begging my friend Margo to read Mike the Situation's book. 'Cause I think a lot of people think a lot of things about Mike the Situation, but if they read his book, they would understand him more. Did you read it? - Like if I saw your friend Margo walking down the street with a big bag and you told me there's a book in that bag, can you guess what book this woman is reading?

It would take me 5 million guesses before I thought she would be reading my situation. She's a very classy woman. She's like an elegant, refined, she's a lady. But she loves reality TV. And she loves reading. And I've been trying to get her to read it. And she's reading it. She loves it. And she was texting me like, it's really so crazy that he went to jail.

And it is because he didn't violate the law on purpose, right? Like their intent has to matter when it comes to a crime. He had no idea that he like wasn't paying his taxes. He had hired his brother who knew shit about fuck to do his money. And he,

It should have been enough for him to pay it back and maybe do a little community service. Like him serving time in a real prison was so crazy, but it's a part of this, I think, trend where celebrities really do get a harsher punishment because they like to be made an example out of similar with Teresa Giudice. If Teresa wasn't famous, she was just a housewife. She probably wouldn't have went to jail. Maybe she would have been on a house arrest or something like Todd, Todd Chrisley, even though Todd Chrisley, I don't really feel applies because like Todd Chrisley, Todd Chrisley really did that stuff and he did it.

- Knowingly. - The wife? - Yeah, I don't know about the wife. Like the scale of what they did wasn't so big that they should be in prison for 14 years. Like their sentence is crazy, but he did do that thing. He did break the law knowingly. Like I feel like Mike, the situation didn't. And Martha's thing was so stupid. She didn't even go to jail for breaking the law. She went to jail for lying to the police, whatever. And with this Morgan Wallen case, what do you think a lay person's sentence would have been for throwing a chair off a roof?

I think they would have gotten a couple of days in the slammer. Yeah. Like you think this is appropriate. You think that this is more because he's a celebrity less because he's a celebrity. Maybe like Felicity Huffman going to jail, you know, more because he's a celebrity. Maybe someone else would have gotten away with it. And he just has like a history of bad behavior that like colors this. And it's like, you know what? It doesn't need to pay the time. Um,

But I don't think it's an over, I think like he really could have, he could have killed someone. It's so true. I mean, I agree. I think it's fair. And like, it's a small sentence because no one got hurt and it wound up being completely fine. But like, it's a very dangerous thing to do. And like, in order to not do stuff like that again, like you need to learn your lesson. Yeah. I guess the crazy thing is I think about like,

Justin Timberlake, who was just driving drunk. Didn't hurt anyone, but could have. Kind of like what you just said. And I feel like when you have a DUI, you don't go to jail. When I think of celebrities, they get a mugshot and they get held for the night. And when they get sentenced, they don't go to jail. Well, Chloe did. Yeah, right. But then the jail was too full. Overcrowding. But she was sentenced to jail. You do get sentenced to maybe 30 days. You do? Something like that. Not for everyone. I think it just depends on the judge and the history of the person. Yeah.

We also don't talk enough that Khloe Kardashian, albeit for literally one afternoon, went to jail. Yeah. I think Paris Hilton, like what, during that time, like they were sentenced to time in jail, but then like due to overcrowding and bureaucracy, like sometimes it doesn't happen. Yeah. And there is a difference between jail and prison. Jail is like where they hold you. And I learned this in my book.

And he's also not going to jail. He's going to a rehabilitation center. Now it's not going to be Betty Ford. It's probably going to be like a tough place to be, not comfortable, not cushy, but it's not jail. No, but I think-

before you get sentenced, it can take like a year for your case to finally make, to finally get a sentence from the time that you're arrested. And some people are held without bail and some people are held with bail and they can't pay it. So they go to jail, which is kind of like this holding space till you figure out if you're going to be free, if you're going to go to prison. And I think based on my book, and then also I was actually watching Brooke Schofield talk about this because I think her mom went to prison. Once you get to like a federal prison, especially the women's like low security ones, she was like their,

Not what you think. The federally funded ones, like they have iPads, they have salons. Like you kind of like, not camp, but it's not what people think. Jail, where they sort of just hold you for literally, it could be a year. It's a cell.

Actually, in the book that I was reading, it was not a cell. It was like this open bunk bed room, kind of like an orphanage. Yeah. Book was really good. I feel like everyone should read it. It was called The Many Lives of Mama Love. No, you're definitely moving the needle. It's on my TBR, but the more you talk about it, the more I'm like, oh. It reminded me a lot of Mike the Situation's book, which is why it was reminded for me to tell my friend Margo because she was dealing with a heroin issue. Understood. Yeah. Are you ready for our next story?

Not any legal news. Kim Kardashian scooted her way into her Skims event in sky high heels, despite her broken foot. So a lot of things happening. Skims opened a flagship store in New York city, like a major. On fifth Avenue, like where everybody is. Multi-story flagship that is like reserved for the biggest brands. She's in the same like neighborhood as Cartier, as Dior, as Prada. Like she, she,

Think she did that. And it's literally a gorgeous store. Gorgeous store. So not only did she reach that level of retail success, she went to the opening. She looked beautiful. She had a broken foot. She rode in on a scooter.

I didn't even know that she had a broken foot. That was my first time. I didn't know either, but she wasn't going to let that stop her from attending her big event or looking really amazing. She looked beautiful. She looked beautiful. And then there was also a dinner to celebrate this momentous occasion, and so many Swirlies were in attendance, like Past, Skims, Faces. Adrienne Bailon. Adrienne Bailon, Cardi B, Ice Spice, Tate McRae, Meghan Trainor. Just like really everyone came out to support Kimberly. Yeah, it's kind of a really big deal. Like,

Obviously so many celebrities have like successful brands, but to really transform your brand to retail, but not only retail, like Fifth Avenue, it's actually really sick. Skims is amazing. Yeah, it is. It's kind of a perfect segue into our next sponsor. Let's hit it. Well, if you want to finish the story, but as long as- No, I mean, that's really the story. As long as we're singing the praises of Skims- Is that our next sponsor? Let me tell you about their holiday shop. Oh, perfect. So-

Am I wearing my Skims bra today? I am. Skims has carried me through, right? Like, obviously my life, but especially these last couple of...

couple of weeks slash months. I've needed a complete overhaul on bras and underwear and Skims was one of my first spots, especially their bralettes. So the Fitz everybody scoop bralette is my favorite bralette ever. And the Skims holiday shop has them. And the Skims holiday shop is so cute. They have like some of their bestselling fan favorite items packaged in these super cute boxes. So it makes it really easy for gifts for stocking stuffers and the festive prints are really going to get you into the holiday spirit. Um,

If you're always rushing to package up gifts until the very last minute, the Skims Holiday Shop has taken off some of the pressure. They have some of our favorite styles, like the fits everybody cheeky briefs, and they have a gift wrap in the cutest little boxes ready to go. They are perfect for busy moms like Jacqueline, busy businesswomen like myself, and do not sleep on their sleepwear, literally some of the best pajamas, and super

so cute they have like different you know holiday themed colors like red and green and so cute to get for different members of the family so that on Christmas morning you can all wake up be matching and like take really cute pictures very Kate Hudson and her family in the Skims holiday campaign so shop Skims holiday at Skims.com available in styles for women men kids and even pets and if you haven't yet be sure to let them know that we sent you after you place your order select podcast in the survey and select our show in the drop down menu that follows

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I don't even know what to say. Damn. Well, our next story, some good news. Let's hear it. Good charitable news. Taylor Swift visited a children's hospital on Thursday night in Kansas City, the Children's Mercy Kansas City Hospital. And she took pictures with a bunch of the patients. She made TikToks. She was talking about Travis. Just like really so warm and lovely.

I fucking love this woman, let me tell you. And even if she had came in with a photographer and took a million pictures with everyone and posted them on her Instagram and did a press release, I wouldn't even think, people like hate on her. And they're like, well, she look, she did charity just for attention.

The fact that every piece of footage that came out of this was from like a parent filming and a TikTok. Taylor's team did not release anything. She so did not go for that. But even if she did, like, you know, those kids would have loved being on her fucking Instagram. And even if she did, that's better than no charity work at all. But the sheer fact that like, we know about this because all the parents, like seriously, the parents can't, the parents cared more about Taylor than the kids. I was dying. Every clip I saw, I watched a thousand times. Like,

Let me just tell you, she's so special. Like, and to see her doing it, like, in Travis's community, like, just adds. But even if she went to any hospital, you know she does the Children's LA. She does all of them. But to see it in his community, like, I actually got choked up. I was like, no, she's such a queen. She's a beacon of the community, and it's very much, like, it's wag behavior. This is, like, the wags do a lot of the philanthropy, and they're

in the community, like all of the big ones. Brittany is such a big leader in her community. And she's not doing this because she's a wag, but like it just, it's so, she does it, we've seen her do it other times as well, but like it's doing it in his favor

place of work. It's very beautiful. And really, I feel like she's really making Kansas city her home. No. And I just know like Taylor got home. She spent all day with those kids and she got home and like started crying in Travis's arm. Cause it's like a lot to see kids like that and have to be like, you know, just joy. And it's like, you don't even know the right thing to say. And yeah,

You know, she's from the very early on in her career, she's like always really connected with sick kids. And Ronan is obviously like a huge and she takes that on. She's such an empath, you know. So I just know she was like really sad yesterday. Like I just know she like smiles for everyone. And then she got in the car and totally started crying, you know. Yeah. It's a lot to like spend all day. And a lot of celebrities do this. A lot of them do like Make-A-Wish. There's like that famous video of Florence Welsh, who's like kid's dream it was to sing Shake It Off with her. And it's like so cute. It's very heavy, like especially for those Make-A-Wish ones. Yes.

It's very hard. Yeah. So just a very sweet moment from the Lurd. And she looked so cute in her new outfit. I just, I just love her. And I love that like she stopped working what three days ago. She probably flew back two days ago from wherever she was, Canada. And it's like back to the community, back to the kids. Yeah. Yeah.

And I do also love that about her because we were all like that age when we started like loving Taylor Swift. But now the majority of her fans are like grown, grown women. And kids are like always the kind of, what's the word I'm looking for? Kind of always at like the forefront of like the fact that she still does the

22 hat not still that she does the 22 hat when like she's actually not a pop star for six-year-olds anymore she was but she's like always keeping kids top of mind it's like so sweet yeah no she protects the surrogate she protects the children she protects the children she like loves kids everybody loves kids no but some people have like a special love of children yes and she does yes the surrogate just makes you wonder

- No, and all the TikToks, like the dancing, like it was genuinely, it was too fucking much for me. It was so sweet. Everything makes me cry. Like I cried 500 times. I cried myself to sleep last night because Jackie sent me the cutest fucking video of her kids. And I was just, I don't even know why I was crying. I was, Jackie, my pillow was soaking wet. Ben was like, "Are you okay?"

It was, it was reminding me of when Ben told me that he was playing the piano to Vanessa Carlton and I literally could not stop crying. It was the same exact feeling. It wasn't, it was like kind of sad. Even though the video wasn't sad, it was just pure. It was pure. And it was the same thing with Ben's Vanessa Carlton piano, like pure. You're trying to learn Vanessa Carlton on the piano. Jackie, I was in fucking consolable. Like seriously. Cause I was like, and I saw the video already. I'd seen it earlier that day. But then before bed, I was like, wait, Ben, you got to see this cute video Jackie sent. And he was like, it's so cute. But like, are you okay? Right.

everything makes me cry. That the videos of Taylor and the guy being like, he was like, it was obviously dad's turn to be in the hospital. Mom maybe went to work, but mom is the biggest Swifty. And they didn't get any notice. I think Taylor just like showed up one day and the dad's hand is shaking. He's like, my wife is coming. So he's like trying to like stall. He's like, she's on her. She's literally running. She's went to the air store three times, like handshaking on the, on the phone. And the kid like, doesn't like, he's like, he's not a Taylor like Stan, you know, he was just like,

She brought everyone copies of her book and he was like, maybe you can make it out to my mom. But also it's like, it's so nice for the parents, like what they're going through. It's just, she's giving back to everyone. And then the nurses who took pictures with her was like, didn't expect to see Taylor Swift today. And you know that like, I don't like name a fucking harder job. Like the coal miners can never being like a pediatric nurse in a hospital. Like, yeah.

She's such a queen for this. Like I fucking love her. Like, and I know a lot of celebrities do this. It's like actually a very common philanthropic thing to go to children's hospitals, which is so sweet. Ryan Seacrest is actually like a huge part of that children's LA hospital. Like I think he's on the board, but he literally, any celebrity that owes him a favor, he makes them go. Like it's so sweet. Um,

So she's not like unique, but it's just... She did it today. So we're talking about it today. She did it today. She did it beautifully. And more of this, like all celebrities go. Go to all of them. I feel like the LA one gets a lot. Like go to what in Minnesota? As Taylor did, Missouri, Kansas border. And you're right. This is like very...

like sports, like the athletes go in their communities. It's a really nice thing. This is like one of the really nice things about sports and the NFL is like they require all their players to like do this four or five times a year. Like the DCC we saw on the show. They're always giving back to the community. They meet with veterans and go to old age homes. And it's really, really nice. So sweet. So sweet. Are you ready for our fifth and final story? Yes. It's random that this is the fifth and final story of the year because I feel like it should be more like pointed, but I liked it.

Whatever. So Jim Carrey is talking about the potential for a Grinch sequel and what the movie The Grinch means to him and the way that it's been received. And we're also getting a lot of interesting facts about Dr. Seuss and The Grinch. And I live in a very big Grinch house, so maybe I am personally invested, but that movie fucking rocks. No, and there are many different versions of The Grinch and nobody in all of Oz has ever done it.

So like Jim Carrey, like it's it is the greatest comedic acting feat. Seriously, of our time. This is what he said. He said he'd be open to filming of a sequel of the live action How the Grinch Stole Christmas, but with a caveat. So he said playing his character required wearing copious amounts of makeup and being covered head to toe in green faux fur and heavy prosthetics.

In an interview with Comic Book, he said he'd do another film if we could figure out the Grinch. The thing about it is on the day, I do that with a ton of makeup and can hardly breathe and it was an incredibly excruciating process. The children were in my mind all the time. It's for the kids.

- Literally Taylor Swift. - It's for the kids, it's for the kids. And now with motion capture and things like that, I could be free to do other things. Anything is possible in this world. Now, as Comic Book noted, Carrie would be one of only a select few actors who would ever be able to portray the Grinch due to strict guidelines set by the estate of Dr. Seuss who died in 1991.

Per the estate, the actor cast as the Grinch had to be of a very particular height and frame. In a letter outlining examples of actors who would fit the characteristics, Carrie, along with Jack Nicholson, Robin Williams, and Dustin Hoffman were mentioned. Oh, great. 50% dead. Right, but they were just giving examples of the height and depth. However, somehow Matthew Morrison passed muster.

Okay, well, let me say this because I'm actually not surprised to hear Jim Carrey talking about this because a video interview he did somewhat recently went viral because he's in Sonic the Hedgehog movie. He's making headlines because he's doing press for his new movie, Sonic the Hedgehog. And this is like one of the greatest actors seriously of our time, one of the greatest comedic minds of our time. And he don't leave his house. Like he doesn't really work anymore. And I think a lot of people were shocked to see him doing a movie for the first time in so long. And it's Sonic the Hedgehog.

And he was very, I don't know if he was joking, but he went viral. He was like, I need money. Like, and this is what you do when you need money. Like one of these big, stupid. And people were like, has he really wasted away his $180 million fortune? Cause that was his net worth like up until recently. So it kind of sounds like it might be because if he's open to doing the Grinch, like he obviously needs the money.

But The Grinch is actually, like, it seems silly, but it is one of the biggest Christmas movies. Like, it's top five Christmas movies. He said, when I sit at home and I put on the TV and I see The Grinch up there being viewed by everybody every Christmas, it's so gratifying. It's unbelievable. There really is truly incredible magic in the universe, which is true. And also, like, there is a written Grinch sequel. Right. I feel like the story goes on forever. How The Grinch Lost Christmas.

Right, where like everybody loves him. Everybody loves him. And he's like a part of Whoville. Yeah, and he's like in the Christmas tree competition for who can make the best tree. Then he can't get out of his own way. But he's still being so competitive that he ignores Cindy Lou, brushes her off even though she's making the most meaningful tree. And again, he's lost the spirit of Christmas because he wanted to be the best instead of being a part of it. But then of course- The fact that the story exists is the only reason there should be a sequel. If there wasn't, like stop. Yeah, agreed. And I think it would be great with Jim Carrey because he was fantastic. Fantastic.

I know Jim Carrey like doesn't like public life and he doesn't like being famous. I think he loves the art of what he does, but he doesn't like, you know, the celebrity of it all. But I desperately need like a Netflix documentary. I feel like he's so underrated because he doesn't, he's not thirsty at all. He never leaves the house. He's very scary.

- Yeah, and I feel like he's kind of dark and twisted. Like I would love to know a lot more about Jim Carrey. - Agreed. I don't think Jim Carrey wants you to know. - But he's not interested in being understood. He just- - Or he's not interested in being like lauded, like his legacy. Like he doesn't give a fuck. - Yeah, it's true. - But I do. Think about all the movies like growing up, Ace Ventura, Bruce Almighty. - Truman Show. - Truman Show. - Liar, liar, liar.

- He literally, like that genre of, we were like low key huge Jim Carrey fans growing up, but I think everybody was. - We were huge Jim Carrey fans growing up. - We had Liar Liar on VHS, like seriously, we watched it every fucking day. - Yeah, because like, I feel like other comedians of his elk in that time, like don't resonate for me, just I missed it. - Well, we were really young. - Also a lot of comedians of that time, like didn't stay in the family friendly genre. Like he always made movies that were like,

Max PG-13. Yeah, he never went on to do Oscar movies. Like Steve Carell. Yeah, Steve Carell was at the same level as Jim Carrey for a while, but then he decided he wanted to be Oscar. Maybe like serious movies. Yeah. No, he's one of a kind. No, I'm here. I'm ready for Grinch 2. And I'm ready for the untold story of Jim Carrey, honestly. I think it would... He doesn't care, but I think it would... He could write a book. I feel like that would be...

A really good medium for him. Yes. He would have full control, you know, tell the parts he wanted to tell. But I feel like the documentarians of the world are always looking for like the next big thing, you know, it's Jim Carrey. Yeah. Yeah. So go knock on his door, like bother him, earn his trust, give him final cut. Yeah. Final cut pro. If you gave him final cut, he would do it.

What the hell do I know? And also he wants the money. Remember the rumors that he was dating Ariana Grande? Yeah, I believe them. I think about that all the time. He also wants the money. Does he have children? I don't think so. I don't think he ever married. Where is all his money? Maybe he like really likes the high life. Maybe he's got a plan. Oh yeah, I'm sorry. He has a daughter. Oh. Jane Carrey. That's nice.

Maybe she was in a TV show called Defying Gravity, the untold story of women's gymnastics. Oh, interesting. And maybe she likes Perkins. And I'm sorry, he was married. This is how private he is. He was married actually from 87 to 95. So five help eight years to Melissa Womer. She's an actress. Well, her name is Melissa. It was Melissa Carey. Wow. She went all the way. We need to know more.

Jim Carrey, Wives and Girlfriends. - I wanna know girlfriends. Like how has he not had like so many flings? - Renee Zellweger, Jenny McCarthy and more. - Love. - Oh my goodness. Linda Ronstadt, they duo dated for eight months in '83. Melissa Womer, who he married, they share a daughter, Jane, from '87 to '95. Lauren Holly, I guess she was his co-star in "Dumb and Dumber", another movie that he did in '96. And they got married for less than a year.

Renee Zellweger, they met on the set of Me, Myself, and Irene. They were engaged from 1999 to 2000. Carey later called Zellweger the great love of his life during an interview with Howard Stern in 2020. So 20 years later, he said that. January Jones, 2002. Annine Bing. The designer? The designer. She was a model at the time. They dated for a year before pulling the plug on their romance.

And I feel like I might have known this Jenny McCarthy. A year after meeting in 2005, they went public with their relationship and then called it quits in 2010. So they dated for a significant amount of time. After Jenny McCarthy claimed in 2012 that Jim Carrey turned his back on her then 10-year-old son, Jim Carrey told Us Weekly in a statement, I will always do what I believe is in the best interest of Evan's well-being. That's weird. Excuse me? Then after that, he dated Angel Joseph.

with the former America's Next Top Model in 2011. This man has had a million girlfriends. Anastasia Vitkina. - I mean, he's been famous for 50 years. - Oh, this is where things get weird. Several months later, so this is what, 2011? I don't know how old he is. He was linked with an NYU student, Anastasia Vitkina. - How old is he now, 60? - Then in 2015, oh right. Remember he was with Kathriona White

- Yeah. - So they dated from 2012 to 2015. It was ruled a suicide by prescription drug overdose. He was also implicated in two wrongful death lawsuits filed by her ex-husband, which were eventually dismissed. I remember that. And then that's his last known public relationship. Oh no.

And then Ginger Gonzaga, a Canada native, went public with a Space Force alum at 2019 Golden Globes party. And then they split in October. So like he went on a date with someone. Yeah, but he's also definitely like date. He likes to have a girlfriend. So he's definitely dating people, but maybe now more quietly ever since like the tragedy. And Ariana Grande for sure.

It's so funny how Taylor Swift has had a lot of boyfriends. Seriously, not as many as Jim Carrey. The list never ended. Well, Claudia, he's been in the public eye since the 80s. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's true. It's actually not even a lot. It's just a lot of time has passed. The passage of time is significant. I feel like we go down rabbit holes every now and then that are uninteresting and that we've been down before. That was one of the most interesting articles I've ever read. No, I know. I need more now. We need him on the pod, Dream Guest. Should I add him to the list? Add him. Yeah. A thousand percent.

He does not do interviews. He certainly doesn't do podcasts, even though he went on Howard Stern. No, and like, we're so low stakes. Come on. Listen, we'll cut out whatever you want to cut out. We'll like suck your dick. We're not here to expose anyone. Like we literally only want to have our faves on. This is fun. Talk about Sonic. Talk about whatever you want.

We literally don't give a fuck. Okay, let's dive into the TV recap segment. Should we do Yellowstone or Southern Charm first? Do Yellowstone because I think it's shorter, it sounds like. It is. Nothing happened. I have nothing to recap except there were two notable cameos. One, unfortunately, Bella Hadid. This has put me at a crossroads, Claudia. I don't know where to go from here.

I hated the episode so much. I have three episodes to watch, and this show is like one of my favorites. It was a safe space. Also, they said next week is the season finale. Why didn't they call it the series finale? Oh, I don't know. Me and Ben were so confused. We were like, is this an Easter egg? They're confusing. Okay. So she was in the episode quite a bit. Like, I seriously just did my best to act like she wasn't there. She plays Taylor Sheridan's girlfriend. Yeah, which he's getting dragged for. It's like, okay, sure. And he obviously, like,

Didn't want to wrap up the show without putting himself in it like a little bit more and making himself out to be like this cool guy horse trainer Beth was like to Bella had he'd like what do you see in him? Like he's such a dick and she was like have you ever seen him ride? And then they did like a whole slow-mo of Tyler Sheridan like riding the horse and Beth was like I get it like okay It was Taylor Sheridan writing fanfiction about himself. Okay, like it was actually cringe. I'm upset. I

But the more notable cameo that I cannot believe nobody is talking about, I couldn't get over it. And it was such an unremarkable part of the episode. Beth goes to a bar and just wants to fuck with some guy. She picks some random guy out of a crowd and is like, you're a loser and you sucked a cock once. And the actor is Bart Johnson. Stop. Coach Bolton. Seriously, I...

I had never been so happy in my whole life. It actually kind of like undid all the negative thoughts I had about casting up until that point of Bella Hadid. Oh my God, I was cracking up so much. His, like his character was like literally on screen for five seconds as a big loser. And Blake Lively's brother-in-law. Blake Lively's brother-in-law. And Beth was like, once you suck a cock, you're just a cocksucker. Like, it was so funny. Not Colt Bolton. No, no, it was so fucking funny. Don't tell Troy.

I didn't see enough people talking about that. And if I had to recap any other part of the episode, I actually couldn't. It was so boring. I don't spoil the plot in case I'm able to. No, I'm not. But every single episode this season has been an hour and 15 minutes for literally no reason. They could cut the 15 minutes. They could fit the whole thing in 10 minutes. Yeah. And I like that they draw it out. Like there's a lot of unnecessary conversations. They've got 14 million viewers. They've got ads to sell. Let them be. It's the end of this show. Like unless they can move us all to Landman, it's over for them. Well, I wanted to say something.

There was a lady on my flight when I was flying down to you right in front of me watching Landman. And it actually looked so good. I heard really good things about Landman. However, I did see a scene that was really terrible between. Me too. Between the dad and the daughter. KFC from Barstool posted it. Yeah, I saw it there too. It was like cringe incest, like weirdness. It was so weird. It was him asking the daughter, like if she's having sex with her boyfriend. Stop. It was so fucking weird. Yeah.

And when you hear land man, what do you think of? Sandman. No, come on. Close. Really close. Landman. You're a? Landman. You're a bad man, she said. It's going to be top man by James Kennedy. I think of Sandman and Spidey, but I also think of Mr. Sandman. Bring me a drink. So there's a lot there. But I've also heard this show called Blank is the best show ever.

It's called blank or you want to fill in the blanks? Fill in the blank. I don't know. I don't know what you're referring to. What channel is it on? It gets advertised on Paramount. Hold on. I'm going to find the show because I actually, I've heard so many great things that I think I'm going to watch it. Olivia's watching Paramount shows. Hold on. Paramount shows that Olivia Oshry is watching. Lioness.

Haven't heard of it. You haven't? I've heard that that's the one to watch from a number of different places. Have you watched 1923 yet? No. Oh, wait. Hold on. Let me add it to my plate. That Brendan Sclinar in Africa. Plate. Every time they went back to Montana in that show, I was like, no, go back to Africa. Like, it's so good. Okay, so 1923 and Lioness one day. And I started 1883 and I thought it was boring. Yeah, I didn't finish 1883. Okay.

All right. Now, please tell us what went down on Southern Charm last night. Season two. The gang's all back. So we're dealing with JT is seriously like the craziest actor. Not that he's an

but like as an actor, as a human being, like literally so crazy. So first of all, I believe the word you're looking for is person. Yeah. Individual. Um, so last episode, like he has all this beef with Austin and also he like an ATV fell on him during the off season. So he's like walking with a cane now. And he decided he had this like really terrible idea to, um, they stopped,

they were going to some horse race and he like got canes for everyone as like an olive branch was so weird and he had like a really bad pun and it made me uncomfortable so I'm not even gonna repeat it but it was just like loser behavior and what he did was he gave a cane to everyone like ha ha making fun of his own cane and he gave a cane also to miss Patricia

And how did she receive that? She absolutely hated it. Everyone was like seriously dying. Like you don't give a cane to an 80 year old woman. Like seriously. Who actually doesn't need one yet? Like. Uronic behavior. So he's kind of has to like deal with the fallout from that. But then he goes to like play golf with Shep and Craig and it's just being like really fucking crazy. Like saying the wildest stuff about how like he thinks that Madison's husband is worried that JT and Madison like got together in Jamaica. Like.

He's not, nobody was thinking, nobody's worried about that. Like, he's just like really, I don't know why I didn't see it last season, but like,

Biggest loser ever. Out there. Yeah. Really really crazy. Miss Patricia had an Easter brunch. Where she invited just you know. The top tier of the cast. Which I used to. I don't know if I've gotten older. So I have more appreciation for Patricia. Or she's like backed away from being so involved in the drama. And is just like hosts people. And doesn't like say nasty comments about people. I don't know. But I'm really appreciating her value in the show now. And I love her home. And she's so close with Madison. Who is literally the greatest of all time. Like.

I saw that clip about I didn't know her husband had thyroid cancer yeah that was really sad they were like making breakfast and they were just being like so adorable and her son Hudson he's 12 and I was like what a beautiful perfect thing and then like he starts complaining about this pain in his throat and we find out that this is what's going on he has thyroid cancer and now he's having some complications and then they're just sitting down for breakfast and just like it turned so sad she also had been wanting to like have more kids with him but those plans have been put on pause while he's

going through this. So it was just really sad. But then I was listening to Madison on Skinny Confidential podcast. And what I didn't realize, but this seemed to have been well known, is that Madison was doing hair and makeup for the cast of Southern Charm. She was...

in the crew for many years before she went on the show. So I thought that was so interesting. And she went on the show as Austin's girlfriend, but also like, it seemed like production like could tell that she like, let's get this girl in front of the camera. And it worked out really well that way. But now as far as like leading ladies on the show, like it's Madison show, she's like narrating it. She does a lot of the commentary is like the voice of reason. And she's just, I love her so much. She's like so gorgeous. It's insane. Yeah.

And I just, she's hysterical too. So when she found out that like JT is like saying this stuff, like she's next week, she's going to, she's eating him for breakfast. Can't frigging wait. Um,

Then Craig and he's at his house, which is so beautiful, showing us his gardens, his spreads, like just living this quieter life. Shep is like dating this girl who it seems like based on previews and also on Watch What Happens Live, like is totally using him. And it's like, and she's like Miss Bahamas. That's, she is like, you know, a pageant winner, Miss Bahamas. Of the Bahamas. She's obviously like very beautiful and very young. And like, I think just like wants to be on the show and is like obsessed with Shep.

So that seems to go south. But Taylor's dating a new guy who they seem really good together. I don't know why Shep was talking. And does Shep still like pine for Taylor? No, like Shep is the reason why Shep and Taylor didn't work out and aren't together. Yeah. So she's like saying her grandma wishes it was me and her parents wish she was still dating me. And it's like, I'm sure Taylor at some point, she's moved on. Like, let her be. Like, you don't want a future with her. So why can't you just support her being happy with anyone else? And it's not Austin. You should be pleased. Right. So just.

see the gang really. Yeah. And I don't know. I just I love the world of Southern Charm. It's a beautifully shot show too. Like everybody looks nice. The houses are nice. Charlton is pretty. And Claudia you're gonna be livid. So they were having brunch Easter brunch at Miss Patricia's. There's a new cast member named Molly. She's been like in the background of other someone's guest here. She came to a party with Whitney. She's had like stuff with Whitney over the years. And she's very open. She used to be a model but she has a

like a thyroid issue and she's gained a lot of weight over the years on and off, up and down. She gained 45 pounds in 2020. She's lost 20 of it. She was talking at the table how she's got 15 more to go, whatever. Then they were having cupcakes for dessert and she like made hers like a sandwich, like you said, on your gender reveal. And she's showing everyone how she eats it. And Whitney's like, that's the last thing you need. And like, he thinks he can say that because they're like old friends.

And she didn't even she's like it wasn't even she probably was she was hurt and she said like what the fuck. But like she didn't even give it to him like it needed to be given. But it was like so awful like I don't know how Whitney is still around. Okay. And not enough people are making I feel like if it was anybody else who said that they'd be canceled over finished like I don't know why. Maybe because Whitney's like not an internet person. Because it's his show and he's like a producer. I don't know but it was just like what? Yeah.

I mean, also like pot kettle, you are so ugly. Like those in glass houses, you can't be commenting on other people's looks. Like, okay, maybe you don't struggle with your weight, but you struggle with your fucking face. Oh my God, I'm so mad. No, it was so crazy. Ugly, it's always the uglies. It's always the uglies. Like nobody like outrightly beautiful is ever commenting on other people's looks. Let's just be real. No, it was so crazy. And also she's a beautiful girl. Like, and even if she wasn't- Oh my God, I fucking hate him. Wow, that's such a crazy story. That's like-

You don't see that a lot. No, in 2024. Like, doesn't everyone know on television? Literally the last time I remember seeing that was Jersey Shore. Oh, no, I'm saying it's just a key. When he said to Khloe about a big dinner. Oh, no. I'm thinking of before that, Jersey Shore, where they're in Atlantic City for like a fun weekend. And they're all fighting. But like Snooki, they're at dinner. And he's like, Snooki says, pass the rolls. And Situation was like, you don't have enough of those. Jail. That's why they sent you to jail. Jail.

Yeah, I know now that at the time he was probably on like about 60 Percocet a day. So like maybe I'll make an allowance for it, but like I'm still upset. Yeah. On behalf of Snooki. No, and then also when like Alex's weird fucking cousin Polly said to Chloe, like you don't need, she said we're gonna have a big dinner tonight. Like, cause they were on the cast vacation. He was like, you don't need a big dinner. Jail. Wait, also this happened on Housewives. Somebody said to Margaret, Teresa said to Margaret, like big dinner. Oh yeah, yeah, yeah.

- She never misses a dinner, something like that. - Yeah, yeah. She was like, "Can we just eat and stop fighting?" And Teresa's like, "Well, you would never miss a meal, fucking bitch." Even if I don't even like you and somebody calls you out, I will defend you till the day I die. It bothers me so much. - It's so crazy. So that was just really crazy that that happened going on 2025 on my television for someone who's been on TV for 12 years and is an executive producer and should know how to behave. - Right, have you learned nothing? - Right.

Let's dive into our final segment, the seventh thing we needed to get to today. The seven things I hate about you. Queenie and Winnie.

- Queenie and Weenie. So Queenie and Weenie is the weekly segment where Jackie and I like to wrap up the week, put a little bow on things and give two awards, Queenie of the Week and Weenie of the Week to two different people. One who's someone who acted like a queen. It could be a person, a place or a thing. It could be, you know, an entity. And Weenie of the Week, somebody who acted like a weenie. Now it's not somebody who broke the law or somebody who did anything like terribly hurtful, but just, you know, like a fun little seven day title. Although today's Queenie and Weenie will be like a three week title 'cause we're going off. - Yeah, yeah. - So that's unfortunate. - So I'll start with my Queenie, shall I?

No, I think we should start with weenie and like end the whole show on like a really positive note. Okay. Well, my weenie of the week is MGK. Cheating on your pregnant girlfriend who's your twin fire flame soul. Blood sister in Christ. Like they're always like sharing blood. It's such weenie behavior. It's more than that. But like what is you doing? And not being able to stop texting bitches for five minutes. Like weenie.

grow up I love that he definitely crossed my mind for potential now I had two which one do I want to go with give me the runner-up and then crown the runner-up and she's not really weenie but she just did something so weenie this week on Real Housewives of Beverly Hills like I remember when I saw Garcelle butting into the conversation being like I agree I remember thinking I'm like oh noted for weenie of the week in case nobody else does anything more weenie like

- I hate to do it because I'm- - No, no, no, I'm sorry. That's definition weenie. Like MGK is actually an asshole, but like weenie? - Yeah, and it's like, nobody asks. And I'm such a ride or die for Garcelle. - Like we know you, we already knew that. Whatever anyone said against Dorit, we know that you agree. - And Dorit like not engaging with that and being like, I'm sorry, was that English? - Queenie.

Made it so weenie-like even more. So she was my runner-up. But honestly, like, watching Yellowstone last night and seeing Taylor Sheridan, like, Jackie, you need to see it. Like, we know that he's, like, this world-renowned horse trainer, right? But Beth actually has to go down to him to ask for a favor. So we see how he lives his life, like, selling horses, you know, sexy girls in the pool and, like, playing poker and deep-frying corn dogs. And it's just, like, this is how he wanted to be perceived by the world, Taylor Sheridan. And...

It was so, and the whole scene, like, have you seen him ride? And then he's like in his arena, like chasing around this little bull. Like it was just, it was actually so loser. It's major weenie of the weekend. Okay. I love that.

Yeah. Now, Queenie, share yours with me. Mine is definitely like a little bit. It's not about this week in particular. It's really just like my Queenie of like the year. Okay. This is not my Queenie of the year. My Queenie of the week, though, is something that we talked about on next week's Patreon episode, but we haven't spoken about here, which is that at the Hard Rock Seminole Casino this weekend, someone won over $2 million at the casino. Yes. Yes.

The girly swirly live show was at the hard rock this weekend. The odds that this person is a toaster are extremely high. So my queen of the week is the toaster who likely won almost $3 million this weekend at girly swirly's night out.

- I know she's not gonna- - And you know she won it in Florida, so like the tax situation is much better than if she had where to win it in like a casino elsewhere. - I don't feel like this person's gonna come forward because like they're dealing with a lot. - She shouldn't. - And it's like, you know, when you win the lottery, like everyone starts coming out of the woodwork. Like she's not gonna come forward publicly. - They start acting different. - But in my heart of hearts, I know that a toaster won $3 million this weekend at Gizno and like that's my queenie right there. - And if it couldn't be me, I'm happy it was her. - Yeah, yeah. And I'm happy that we brought her there. Like we're a part of that. - A thousand percent. - I like we deserve a cut, but okay.

My Queenie is a lot of people actually, you know, we have had such a wonderful year and I just wanted to wrap up by saying thank you to so many of the people who make the show go round. Mostly our sponsors, uh,

who are so ride or die. Like, you know, we do this show, I'm in charge of the ads, and we have so many repeat sponsors who we love working with, who love working with us, who keep the lights on here. So to them, I want to say thank you. To our wonderful team at Dear Media who sell those ads and keep the lights on, I want to say thank you. To our amazing agents, Barry, Ben, Erica, all of them, the team, just queenies over the team. Our fabulous PR swirlies, like everyone we work with. Our attorneys.

Our attorneys, Jess. We love you, Jess. Everyone who helps just champion us and who loves us and works with us and like just...

It's just, it's amazing to have so many fabulous, mostly women. Yeah, that's right. We champion women. Almost every single person on our team, aside from Ben is, and I'm not talking about my husband, Ben, like a different Ben, is a woman. Gabby and Marcus, like everybody just, we are so blessed. And then of course, every single person who tunes into this show, like whether you tune in every day, only Fridays because you love Queenie and Weenie, only Wednesdays because you love Dear Toasters, or

Whatever it is, however you contribute into supporting our show, whether that's big or small, liking an Instagram post or joining the Patreon, it truly means the world to Jackie and I. We absolutely love what we do, and we get to keep doing it because people show up. And as long as you guys show up, we will too. We'll probably show up even if nobody's here. It means the world. We have the best fucking job. We have the best listeners. Getting to go on tour this year and see them in real life and everybody getting dressed up and bringing funny signs and gifts, it was just the definition of par-gee-lish.

And everybody I just mentioned is seriously the biggest fucking Queenie of all time. - That's so beautiful and so meaningful. And I completely agree. This community is filled with Queenies. If you're listening to us right now, you are the Queenie and we love you dearly. - Yeah, and however you listen. - Yeah. - No, but if you're hearing these words, if you're hearing these words as I'm speaking them, you're a Queenie, just know that. - Just like look inward, what do you see? Queeniedom. - I see Queenie behavior.

Queenie Hood. So that is so beautiful. I completely concur. Thank you to everyone who helps make the show go around. Thank you to our partners and our teams. Our partners. Our families. Just everyone in our world. Shout out to Ben. I don't know what we would talk about if we weren't making fun of him half the time. And he's such a good sport about it. And he's the best. So shout out to him. Our roses are, of course, our husband of the year. Per-use. Per-use.

And yeah, I hope we're not missing anyone. That would be so awkward. I know. But I feel like, no, think about who we sent holiday gifts to. Yeah, that's what I was thinking. Yeah, all of our TNN partners. So Shannon, Ben, and Josh. Of course, Shannon, Josh, the Redheads, Dana, and...

Oh, just every right. I don't want to wrap up because then, you know, it's really over, even though we have tons of content coming on. We do. And if you're listening to this episode and you're very sad that we're taking a two week break, just know there is content over at patreon.com slash the toast that will start dropping as soon as Monday. You will have episodes. And if you join today, you will have access to 300 episodes that we've done over the last seven years. It's all there waiting for you. And literally you could start right now and we would have enough to tide you over until we're back.

You wouldn't even be done. No, you wouldn't. Like not even half. No, you would have to stay up all night watching and listening. So that's our show. Thank you so much for listening to the Toast the Money, a morning show where we deliver the Fast Five stories you need to know every Monday through Friday on YouTube. So if you're watching us on YouTube, please feel free to subscribe and give this video a thumbs up. We're also available as a podcast anywhere podcasts can be found. So it's Spotify, iTunes, Stitcher, Public Radio, iHeartRadio, CastBox, all the places. Wherever you listen to podcasts, find us at Toast. Leave a five-star review, come on, about how beautiful, stunning, and wickedly talented we are. Love you dearly. Bye. Bye.